Dragon Laffs #1186

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Good Morning Campers!
I hope this finds everyone well.  Very tough night for me last night, so I’m finding it a bit difficult to get running this morning. What do you say we jump into the laughter and I’ll add my witty comments as we go along, shall we?
Okay, then…
Let’s Laugh!
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Okay, some REALLY funny stuff here:
http://www.makeuseof.com/tech-fun/ultimate-internet-love-song/ 
If you’re gonna sing a modern love song….this is the way to do it!

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Barbara Walters, famous journalist of 20/20, did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict.

She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands.

She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. Despite the overthrow of the oppressive  Taliban regime, the women now seem happy to maintain the old custom.

Ms Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, ‘Why do you now seem happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?’

The woman looked Ms Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, …………………………………………………………………….

 

 

 

         

“Land mines”

 

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Willow Run Bomber Plant Video – WWII


 

Henry Ford was determined that he could mass produce bombers just as he had done with cars. He built the Willow Run assembly plant and proved it. It was the world’s largest building under one roof. even then FORD HAD A BETTER IDEA!

This film will absolutely blow you away – one B-24 every 55 minutes. ADOLF HITLER HAD NO IDEA THE U.S. WAS CAPABLE OFTHIS KIND OF THING.  There is no way he could have even guessed. 

For those who live outside of Michigan , Willow Run is near Bellville, Canton and Ypsilanti , MI

It’s amazing that one B-24 (built with over 1.225 million parts) came off the assembly line every 55 minutes

Take a few minutes to watch this snapshot of history.

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The Duck Song!
Halarious song for kids!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2nCsqujCsQ&feature=email 

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Public Service 1
Okay, folks.  As many of you know, since I talked about it the other day, I’ve recently started in on Facebook in my human form.  Well, now that they have a real live dragon on their rolls, they’ve got a thing or two to learn about being upright and honest and I’m just the dragon to help teach them.
This article: http://www.makeuseof.com/tag/facebooks-free-advertising-stop-news/ shows you how to shut off a NEW function of Facebook which sends your “likes” and “check ins” to your friends as advertising recommendation along with your name and profile picture.  So, if, for instance, I say that I “like” something somebody said that had a brand name, such as pepsi in the wording, my friends my get an ad sent to them on Facebook or through their email that says that their friend Impish recommends pepsi as the best …. you get the idea.  Click on the link to the article: http://www.makeuseof.com/tag/facebooks-free-advertising-stop-news/ and see how to shut this stupidness off and send me any settings recommendations you might have and I’ll check them out and possibly pass them on.

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More good fun….this time at Bush’s expense.

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Ouch!  That’s not the Facebook that I signed up for!!!!  Wait one darn minute!!!!


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Take one minute….just one click, every day, helps more than you can imagine!

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This one is just called, Web-cam smoke break fail
http://www.makeuseof.com/tech-fun/webcam-smoke-break-fail/ 

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Why not?  Us dragons like to share the bed…and we will definitely keep a young lady warm on a cold night!

Donate212222

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Thanks to my brand new nephew Jacob for showing me this one!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgcovIu3k9o&feature=player_embedded 

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To you vets and others who really care, here’s a salute to an 84 year-old sniper who still has the right stuff.  This is a great link!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQRpAxGVg4M 

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DILBERT

A magazine recently ran a ‘Dilbert Quotes’ contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-type managers. These were voted the top ten quotes in corporate America:

3‘As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks.’
(This was the winning quote from Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp. in Redmond WA)


3a

‘What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter.’
(Lykes Lines Shipping)

3b
‘E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business.’ (Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)

3c
‘This project is so important we can’t let things that are more important interfere with it.’ (Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)

3d
‘Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule .’
(Plant Manager, Delco Corporation)

‘No one will believe you solved this problem in one3e day! We’ve been working on it for months. Now go act busy for a few weeks and I’ll let you know when it’s time to tell them.’
(R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)

3f
Quote from the Boss: ‘Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say.’
(Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)

My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. 3g
When I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said,
‘That would be better for me.’
(Shipping executive, FTD Florists)

3h

‘We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going
to discuss it with the employees.’

(Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)

How many of you have the same kinds of “All Leaves are canceld until m3iorale improves” kind of rules and regulations on your companies memos?  We would love to hear and see some of the funnier ones.  Send them in to us and you can see YOUR name in lights at Dragon Laffs… well, maybe not in lights, but how about in electrons?  Doesn’t that amount to the same thing?

 

 

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Bill passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch.

A neighbor witnessed this and quickly dialed 911.

When the paramedics arrived, they helped him regain consciousness and asked if he knew what caused him to faint.

“It was enough to make anybody faint,” he said. “My son asked me for the keys to the garage and instead of driving the car out……he came out with the lawn mower!”

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Amen!

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Sure, the 16 by 16 feet house is not a full house, but we don’t care. It flies for real, thanks to three hundred weather balloons full of helium. The Up! house—which will be part of a new National Geographic TV series called How Hard Can It Be?—was 10 stories high, including the balloons. It reached 10,000 feet and flew for about one hour.

Disney’s “Up” house created in real life and flown for National Geographic show
 
Photos from National Geographic are here:

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Mootivational Hammertime

Mootivational Hoarding

This is a GREAT Point of View (POV) camera ride!

http://player.vimeo.com/video/9970489

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The link to the below article, which I have copied here, in full, was sent to me by a special newsletter that I get at my work’s email address.  The Newsletter is put out by Homeland Security Magazine.  This really, really pissed me off.  Not ONLY for the fact that they were escalating their bullshit to include women and children, on purpose, but because there are still, so many people out there who think that we just ought to open our borders to Mexico!  Are you kidding me?!  These people rank right up there with the Islamist Terrorists!  And WE SHARE A COMMON BORDER WITH THEM!  Are we asleep at the wheel here or what?
Okay, before all you soft hearted people start giving me crap here, I’ve got a plan to fix EVERYONE’s issues.  Put up a fence, a REAL fence, like the border we control between North and South Korea, with razor wire, guard towers, armed soldiers and land mines.  Make two or three “welcome” centers and let anyone who wants to come to America to escape the craziness and BECOME AMERICANS (not Mexican-Americans) to completely denounce their Mexican citizenship, (which doesn’t mean that they can’t keep their Mexican Heritage) {Thanks to Mrs. Dragon for pointing that one out to me}learn English, get a job, pay taxes, all the luxuries that those of us who ARE Americans get to do.  They can’t have any affiliations with any of the drug cartels, be on anybody’s “watch list” or have any felony convictions for anything. 
We can help them get on their feet with all the money we will be saving by having to pay for the illegals that are all ready here.  (I’ll get to that in a moment)  After two months, if they don’t have a job, then we find them a job working the new oil fields that we will be opening in the Bakken Fields in North and South Dakota, the Outer Continental Shelf, The Alaska National Wildlife Refuge, Tar Sands, Oil Shale, and others…. (see the following article for more information: http://www.americanthinker.com/2011/03/the_only_way_out_for_the_ameri.html )
The increase in our own oil revenues will help us out.
For those who are in the country illegally, they will have a grace period (TBD) to turn themselves in to local offices to meet the same criteria as those coming in from Mexico.  Those that don’t meet the criteria will be deported immediately, dropped on the far side of the fence and forgotten about. 
After the grace period is up, people will have to provide proof of citizenship to put their kids in school, get ANY kind of government aid (I figure between that and urine tests we will save a TON of money on government aid) own or rent a home or own a business.  Yes, I know that sounds like you will have to have “papers” to do anything, but isn’t that how it is now?  You have to have proof of insurance, proof of financial ability to buy a car, the only thing we’re adding is proof of citizenship.  You should be PROUD to prove you are an American.
Then, after the suitable grace period, we offer a bounty on any illegal alien still in the country.  They aren’t mistreated, jailed (unless they’ve committed a crime) they are simply dropped on the other side of the fence. 
I know there are lots and lots of things that I haven’t addressed, but they can be dealt with. 
My fellow Campers, these drug cartels are taking over Mexico.  And it’s bleeding over into our country.  It has to stop and it has to stop NOW!
Were I running for president, that would be one of my main platforms.  Securing that damn Southern Border.  No matter HOW much we spend to do it, it will pay for itself.

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Mexican drug cartels targeting and killing children

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SAN LUIS POTOSI, Mexico — On a sunny afternoon last week, when the streets of this mountain mining city were filled with schoolchildren and parents hurrying home from work, gunmen entered a tiny apartment and started firing methodically.

The assassins killed everyone: the family matriarch and her adult son; her daughter and son-in-law, and finally, her 22-month-old granddaughter.

The child was not killed by mistake. Preliminary forensics indicate that the gunmen, unchallenged, pointed a pistol at Scarlett Ramirez and fired.

In Mexico’s brutal drug war, children are increasingly victims, innocents caught in the crossfire, shot dead alongside their parents — and intentionally targeted.

According to U.S. and Mexican experts, competing criminal groups appear to be killing children to terrorize the population or prove to rivals that their savagery is boundless, as they fight over local drug markets and billion-dollar trafficking routes to voracious consumers in the United States.

 

“It worries us very much, this growth in the attacks on little children. They use them as a vehicle to send a message,” said Juan Martin Perez, director of the Child Rights Network in Mexico. “Decapitations and hanging bodies from bridges send a message. Killing children is an extension of this trend.”

The children’s rights group estimates that 994 people younger than 18 were killed in drug-related violence between late 2006 and late 2010, based on media accounts, which are incomplete because newspapers are often too intimidated to report drug-related crimes.

Few of the crimes are solved. “What worries us is the impunity in all of these cases,” Perez said. “If there is impunity, this use of children to send messages will grow.”

Government figures include all homicides of people younger than 17, capturing victims whose murders might not have been related to drugs or organized crime. In 2009, the last year for which there is data, 1,180 children were killed, half in shootings.

Recent, sensational killings of children — shot in a car seat, dumped in a field with a bullet in the head, killed as their grandmothers cradled them — have shocked Mexicans and shaken their faith that family is sacred, even to the criminal gangs.

“Before, they went after their enemy. Now, they go after every member of the family, indiscriminately,” said Martin Garcia Aviles, a federal congressman from the Party of the Democratic Revolution from the state of Michoacan.

A Chihuahua state police commander was attacked as she carried her 5-year-old daughter to school two weeks ago. Both died of multiple gunshot wounds.

In February, assassins went hunting for a Ciudad Juarez man, but the intended target wasn’t home, so they killed his three daughters instead, ages 12, 14 and 15.

In March, a young woman was bound and gagged, shot and left in a car in Acapulco. Her 4-year-old daughter lay slumped beside her, killed with a single bullet to her chest. She was the fifth child killed in drug violence in the resort city in one bloody week.

“They kill children on purpose,” said Marcela Turati, author of “Crossfire,” a new book on the killings of civilians in Mexico’s drug war. “In Juarez, they told a 7-year-old boy to run, and shot his father. Then they shot the little boy.”

Once off-limits

Historians of the Mexican drug trafficking culture say that until recently children were considered off-limits in the rough code honored by crime bosses, who once upon a time liked to portray themselves as Robin Hoods dealing dope to gringos and donating alms to the poor.

“The rules no longer apply — rather, there are no rules,” said Bruce Bagley, an expert in the drug trade at the University of Miami. When the monolithic Institutional Revolutionary Party ruled Mexico, until 2000, Bagley said excess violence was tamped down by the state, which controlled the drug bosses with selective coercion and complicity.

Now no such “pacts” exist, Bagley said.

U.S. and Mexican officials say the grotesque violence is a symptom the cartels have been wounded by police and soldiers. “It may seem contradictory, but the unfortunate level of violence is a sign of success in the fight against drugs,” said Michele Leonhart, head of the Drug Enforcement Administration. The cartels “are like caged animals, attacking one another,” she added.

Earlier this month, the award-winning poet and commentator Javier Sicilia rallied at the main plaza in Cuernavaca and appealed directly to the drug lords “to return to your codes, where civilians are not touched, where civilians are sacred, where children are sacred.”

Sicilia’s 24-year-old son was found dead in March. His body and four others were stuffed into a compact car, their faces, wrists and ankles wrapped in tape, victims of suffocation. Next to the corpses was a message that read: “This happened to you for making anonymous calls to the military” and was signed “the Gulf Cartel.”

Young recruits

Children as young as 10 have been employed by crime gangs to watch over street corners or sell drugs, and in some cases to kill. In December, Mexican authorities arrested a 14-year-old boy who allegedly confessed that he worked as an assassin for $250 a week.

Edgar Jimenez Lugo told reporters that a drug trafficking gang kidnapped him when he was 11. “I participated in four executions. I was drugged. They said they would kill me,” he said.

Here in San Luis Potosi, violence between the La Familia cartel and ruthless Zetas group has roiled the once-quiet streets. People familiar with the latest murder of a child said the killers came looking for a rival. They didn’t find him — but they found his family.

“What malice, to kill the little girl,” said a neighbor whose children had played with Scarlett. He shook his head. “It’s incredible.”

Neighbors said the family worked hard. The little girl’s grandmother took in laundry. Her parents flipped hamburgers nearby.

Experts worry about the public health consequences of such violence. Schoolchildren in Michoacan were asked to create art for a contest commemorating the Mexican bicentennial, depicting scenes from everyday life in “the Mexico I live in.”

In late March, educators published a book of children’s drawings, which included a drug tough throwing a grenade at a federal policeman and a man being shot in the stomach with an automatic weapon.

oconnoram@washpost.com

boothb@washpost.com

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Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Leprechaun Laffs # 48

DL - Leprechaun Laffs

Mondays Strangle

monkey_type_haikuI had an opening all written based on an anecdote Impish told me about someone who apparently didn’t think I was a separate individual from his household.

Then he proceeded to editorially nitpick it to a politically correct touchy feely death until I felt like our little graphical friend here. So, I guess some would say spitefully, I scrapped it entirely.

So, as you can clearly see, the fact I have no witty opening remarks this morning is all Impish’s fault. Everyone throw your rotten fruit at him.

Now, Let’s all have a laugh!

bacon flavored coffee beans

BAD DRAGON! NO BACON FLAVORED COFFEE FOR YOU!

 

DL Motivational Header

 

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A-Funny-Sign-Reality-Sucks

 

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Now I’m not normally much of one for e-mails, videos and the like with religious over or undertones but its only a little at the end of this and the rest of the video IS really humorous and well done

Southern Hills Church of Christ, Abilene, Texas. Man finds a stethoscope with unusual powers. He discovers what soundtrack is playing inside him.

Click here to see the video if your not reading on blog:

Flaming Click Me

You do that to Impish’s chest and you hear “Food Glorious Food” from Oliver

 

nerd

You might be a nerd if….

– If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires
– If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal
– If you have more toys than your kids
– If you need a checklist to turn on the TV
– If you have introduced your kids by the wrong name
– If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work
– If your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight
– If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don’t work and you rush up to the front to fix it
– If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary
– If you have memorized the program scheduled for the Discovery channel and have seen most of the shows already.

 

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From Nancy Reagan regarding John Hinckley’s release:

We could all learn so much from this elegant and gracious lady. You might recall that John Hinckley was a seriously deranged young man who shot President Reagan in the early 1980’s.

Hinckley was absolutely obsessed with movie star Jodie Foster, and, in his twisted mind, loved Jodie to the point that to make himself well known to her, he attempted to assassinate President Reagan.

There is speculation Hinckley may soon be released as having been “rehabilitated”.

Consequently, you will appreciate the following letter from Nancy Reagan to John Hinckley:

********************************************************************

To: John Hinckley

From: Mrs. Nancy Reagan

My family and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how
pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery.
In our country’s spirit of understanding and forgiveness, we want you
to know that we bear no grudge against you for shooting President
Reagan.

We are fully aware that mental stress and pain could have driven you
to such an act of desperation. We’re confident that you will soon make
a complete recovery and return to your family to join the world again
as a healthy and productive man.

Best wishes,

Nancy Reagan & Family

P.S. While you have been incarcerated, Barack Obama has been banging
Jodie Foster like a screen door in a tornado. You might want to look
into that.

 

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Wonder what the men who first built the railroad would think of this?

This is unbelievable.
Click on the ICI below.

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DL Introspection Header

“I care not for a man’s religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it.” — Abraham Lincoln

Is it any wonder I dislike Muslims so intently? Aside from their terrorist Anti-American behavior and their attempts to dictate to US citizens what can and cannot be done around them due to Sharia Law within the US borders that is?

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When they can power something with all the methane and hot air that is generated in Washington D.C. call me and I think about buying in.

 

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Donald Trump: April 7, 2011 on the Today Show

I’m not a big fan of “The Donald” but he’s showing some serious promise both in the polls and in his words.  Finally, someone bold enough to call it like it is…. Domestic Policy and aid should be the foremost concern of the US, not Foreign Aid and affairs. We need to take a hard look at each potential conflict and ask what the U.S. is gaining out of it for bankrupting itself while being the world’s policeman and the UN’s drudge boy.

If you did not see the Donald Trump interview on the Today Show, let me help you out. If you’re reading this via e-mail subscription you’ll want to go to the blog at http://dragonlaffs.com to see it.

 

You got someone who you think is an acceptable alternative candidate to Obama OR The Donald send your comments and a link to your candidate’s recent topical comment to: DragonLaffs-owner@Yahoogroups.com and we will review them for possible inclusion on our “Obama 2012 Alternatives List’

 However if you are going to write to complain about our Last Word and their content let me save you some time and give you my answer to your liberal whining right here and now. Hopefully words will not be required.

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DL Closing Credits

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Dragon Laffs #1185

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Good Morning Campers!

Well, they did it.  They passed a budget…or…at least they say they will.  The government won’t be shut down.  Now, all those civil servants who spent millions of hours getting their work areas prepped for a possible shut down, can spend a million more man hours putting everything back to rights.  And probably working overtime this weekend to do it.

Sigh.

Okay, so maybe I’ll rant some more in my last word today…

Now, let’s Laugh!

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A man arrives at the theatre to see the latest production only to learn that it is completely sold out. He finds an usher and pleads with him, “You must help me, I am a HUGE theatre fan. I’ve been to every opening night performance at this theatre for twenty years. I can’t bear to miss this play, is there any possible way you can find me a seat?”
The usher says he’ll see what he can do.
A few minutes later the usher returns and tells the man he has found him a vacant seat. He leads him inside the theatre to be seated.
A few moments later the man is waving for the usher again. He whispers to the usher, “This play is a mystery, and I LOVE mysteries. But I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat, and I’ll give you a handsome tip.”
The usher manages once again to find the man a seat, this time in the second row. As he seats him, the man hands the usher a quarter.
The usher looks at the quarter, leans over and whispers, “The wife did it.”


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DragonPapa1 (110)

My daughter just walked into the living room and said “Dad cancel my allowance, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out of the window, take my TV, stereo, iPhone and jewelry to the charity shop. Sell my car, take my front door key and throw me out of the house”.

Well she didn’t actually put it like that… She said… “Dad this is my new boyfriend, Mohamed.”


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Texas has come up with a list akin to the Rosetta stone for translating conversations with liberals


 

Texas Translations of California Euphemisms.

CALIFORNIA

TEXAS

Arsenal of Weapons

Gun Collection

Delicate Wetlands

Swamp

Undocumented Worker

Illegal Alien

Cruelty-Free Materials

Synthetic Fiber

Assault and Battery

Attitude Adjustment

Heavily Armed

Well-protected

Narrow-minded

Righteous

Taxes or Your Fair Share

Coerced Theft

Commonsense Gun Control

Gun Confiscation Plot

Illegal Hazardous Explosives

Fireworks or Stump Removal

Nonviable Tissue Mass

Unborn Baby

Equal Access to Opportunity

Socialism

Multicultural Community

High Crime Area

Fairness or Social Progress

Marxism

Upper Class or “The Rich “

Self-Employed

Progressive, Change

Big Government Scheme

Homeless or Disadvantaged

Bums or Welfare Leeches

Sniper Rifle

Scoped Deer Rifle

Investment For the Future

Higher Taxes

Healthcare Reform

Socialized Medicine

Extremist, Judgmental, or Hater

Conservative

Truants

Homeschoolers

Victim or Oppressed

Criminal or Lazy Good-For-Nothing

High Capacity Magazine

Standard Capacity Magazine

Religious Zealot

Church-going

Reintroduced Wolves

Sheep and Elk Killers

Fair Trade Coffee

Overpriced Yuppie Coffee

Exploiters or “The Rich “

Employed or Land Owner

The Gun Lobby

NRA Members

Assault Weapon

Semi-Auto (Grandpa’s M1 Carbine)

Fiscal Stimulus

New Taxes and Higher Taxes

Same Sex Marriage

Legalized Perversion

Mandated Eco-Friendly Lighting

  Chinese Mercury-Laden Light Bulbs

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NEW YORK, February 1 –
The New York City school board has officially declared Jewish
English – now dubbed Hebonics – as a second language. Backers of
the move say the city’s School District is the first in the state
to recognize Hebonics as a valid language and significant
attribute of New York culture.

According to Howard Schollman, linguistics professor at New York
University and renowned Hebonics scholar, the sentence structure
of Hebonics derives from middle and eastern European language
patterns, as well as Yiddish.

Prof. Schollman explains, “In Hebonics, the response to any
question is usually another question plus a complaint that is
implied or stated.

Thus:
“How are you?” may be answered,
“How should I be, with my feet?”

Schollman says that Hebonics is a superb linguistic vehicle for
expressing sarcasm or skepticism.

An example is the repetition of a word with “sh” or “shm” at the
beginning:
“Mountains, shmountains. Stay away. You want a nosebleed?”

Another Hebonics pattern is moving the subject of a sentence to
the end, with its pronoun at the beginning:
“It’s beautiful, that dress.”

Schollman says one also sees the Hebonics verb moved to the end
of the sentence. Thus the response to a remark such as:
“He’s slow as a turtle,” could be:
“Turtle, shmurtle! Like a fly in Vaseline he walks.”

Schollman provided the following examples from his textbook,
Switched-On-Hebonics.

Question: “What time is it?”
English answer: “Sorry, I don’t know.”
Hebonic answer: “What am I, a clock?”

Remark: “I hope things turn out okay.”
English response: “Thanks.”
Hebonic response: “I should BE so lucky!”

Remark: “Hurry up. Dinner’s ready.”
English response: “Be right there.”
Hebonic response: “Alright already, I’m coming. What’s with the
‘hurry’ business? Is there a fire?”

Remark: “I like the tie you gave me; wear it all the time.”
English response: “Glad you like it.”
Hebonic response: “So what’s the matter; you don’t like the
other ties I gave you?

Remark: “Sarah and I are engaged.”
English response: “Congratulations!”
Hebonic response: “She could stand to gain a few pounds.”

Question: “Would you like to go riding with us?”
English answer: “Just say when.”
Hebonic answer: “Riding, shmiding! Do I look like a cowboy?”

To guest of honor at his birthday party:
English remark: “Happy birthday.”
Hebonic remark: “A year smarter you should become.”

Remark: “A beautiful day.”
English response: “Sure is.”
Hebonic response: “So the sun is out; what else is new?”

Answering a phone call from son:
English remark: “It’s been a long time since you called.”
Hebonic remark: “You didn’t wonder if I’m dead yet?”

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A dad walks into a market with his young son. The kid is holding a quarter. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The dad realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and starts panicking, shouting for help.

A well dressed, attractive, but serious looking woman in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar in the market reading her newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the
commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down on the saucer, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the market.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully takes hold of the boy’s testicles and starts to squeeze, gently at first and then ever more firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the quarter, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.

Releasing the boy, the woman hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no lasting ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying,

“I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?”

“No,” the woman replies, “a Divorce Attorney.”

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So, it was only a matter of time before Mike Richard got his name mentioned in the same sentence as “Groaner”.  The poor guy was suffering from …. dare I say it … “Groaner Envy”
So, sorry about this, but here it goes:

During a coup attempt by a number of rebellious nobles, King George I had a huge mahogany rack constructed to punish the leaders of the uprising.  His advisers transported the rack to the upcoming battle site, at a precipice overlooking the valley containing the enemy encampment, by renting forty pachyderms and hiring an African engineer with reputed expertise in harnessing the huge beasts for productive labor.
       Unfortunately, shortly after their arrival at the scene, the elephants stampeded, carrying the ramp with the African on it tumbling down the hill, rolling over the opposition and virtually destroying it.
       One of the survivors painfully cried out, “What in creation was that?”
       An anguished companion stammered, “I’m not sure, but it looked like a rambling rack from George’s attack and an elephant engineer.”

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Take one minute….just one click, every day, helps more than you can imagine!

179

I hadn’t recorded a greeting yet on my new answering machine, so when my mother came to visit, I asked her to tape one.

“This is Marcia’s mother,” my machine announced. “Marcia is an only child; she never writes, she never calls. So why not give me a buzz? I’d be happy to talk to you. My number is…”

Everyone called my mother. She loved the attention.

180

Donate21222

181

Things to Remember During a War

1. The only things more accurate than enemy fire is friendly fire.
2. Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
3. Teamwork is essential. It gives them more targets to shoot at.
4. No inspection-ready unit ever passed combat.
5. No combat-ready unit ever passed inspection.
6. Remember: your aircraft was made by the lowest bidder.
7. Never draw fire, it will irritate the rest of your formation.
8. Never share a cockpit with someone braver than you.
9. You are not Tom Cruise.
10. SAMs and AAA have the right-of-way.
11. If you aren’t sure, the SAMs are pointed at you.
12. If hit, landing near the people that just shot you down is not a good idea.
13. Close only counts in horseshoes, nukes and proximity-fused missiles.
14. Smart bombs have bad days too.
15. The best defense is to stay out of range.
16. If you are short on everything but enemy, you are in combat.

182

 

From our dear Legal friend Lucille…

A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem. In response, the doctor said,
“When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself.”
That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try this suggestion, he ran home to his wife. At home, he found his wife was in bed, naked and waiting. As the two began, they found themselves in the celebrated 69 position. The man, moments later, felt the sudden urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol.
The next day, the man went back to the doctor. The doctor asked, “How did it go?”
The man answered, “Not that well. When I fired the pistol, my wife shit on my face, bit 3 inches off my dick, and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air.”

183

From our own Old Country Boy:

DID YA KNOW OR DO YA CARE?
Three out of four college students expect to become
millionaires.

Should that tell us something about our expectations or perhaps about our entitlement generation going to school?  Who knows, I just offer these words as a way to start a discussion.

Holy Crap!_thumb[1]
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h5

h6

Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of
her mathematic classes:
 
“A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his
wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to
charity. Now, what does each get?”
 
After a very long silence in the classroom, Little Morris raised his hand. The
teacher called on Little Morris for his answer.
 
With complete sincerity in his voice, Little Morris answered, “A lawyer!”

184

TALKING “PENNSYLVANIAN”
The Strange Langwitch     

baby coach –noun. Chiefly Eastern Pennsylvania and   Chesapeake Bay . A baby carriage.

Lunch meat
–noun.  Called “cold cuts” elsewhere.


For those who think we Pennsylvanians ‘talk funny’ or use ‘big  words’, here’s why …
 

Once a Pennsylvanian, ALWAYS a Pennsylvanian!  

About Pennsylvanians: You’ve never referred
to   Philadelphia  as anything but ‘Philly’ and New Jersey has always been ‘ Jersey .’
            
 
We don’t go to the beach — we go ‘down
to
the shore.’

You refer to Pennsylvania as ‘PA’ (pronounced Pee-Ay).
How many other states do that??


‘You guys’ (or even ‘youze guys’, in some places) is a perfectly acceptable reference to a group of men and women. 

 
You know how to respond to the question ‘Djeetyet?’ (Did you eat yet?)

You know that the Iggles play football and so do the Stillers. 

You learned to pronounce Bryn Mawr, Wilkes-Barre , Schuylkill , the
Poconos, Tamaqua,
Kutztown, Tunkahannock, Bala Cynwyd, Kishacoquillas,  Duquesne and  Monongahela, also Conshohocken.

And we know Lancaster is pronounced Lank-ister,
not Lan-kaster.

You know what a ‘Mummer’ is, and are disappointed if you can’t catch at least highlights of the parade.  

At least five people on your block have electric ‘candles’ in all or most of their windows all year long. 

You know what a ‘State Store’ is, and your out-of-state friends find it incredulous that you can’t purchase liquor at the mini-mart. 

Words like ‘hoagie,’ ‘crick,’ ‘chipped ham,’ ‘dippy eggs’, ‘sticky buns,’ ‘shoo-fly pie,’ ‘lemon sponge pie’, ‘pierogies’ and ‘pocketbook’ actually mean something to you. (By the way, that last one’s PA slang for a purse!)  

You not only have heard of Birch Beer, but you know it comes in several colors. 

You know the difference between a cheese steak and a pizza steak sandwich, and you know that you also can’t get a really good one anywhere outside of the Philly area. (Except
maybe
in Atlantic City on the boardwalk.)

 

You know that Blue Ball, Intercourse, Paradise, Climax, Bird-in-Hand, Beaver, Moon, Virginville, Mars, Bethlehem, Hershey, Indiana, Sinking Spring, Jersey Shore, State College, Washington Crossing, Jim Thorpe, Eighty-Four, King of Prussia, Wind  Gap, and Slippery Rock are all PA towns … and the first three were consecutive stops on the old Reading RR! (PS – That’s pronounced Redd-ing.) 


You can identify drivers from New York , New Jersey , Maryland or other neighboring states by their unique and irritating driving habits.
 

A traffic jam in Lancaster County is 10 cars waiting to pass a horse-drawn carriage on the highway. (And remember … that’s Lank-ister!) 

You know several people who have hit deer more than once.

 

Driving is always better in winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

As a kid you built snow forts and leaf piles that were taller than you were.


You know beer doesn’t grow in a garden, but you know where to find a beer garden. 
 
You actually understand all this and send it out to other Pennsylvanians
or former Pennsylvanians. It’s scary, isn’t it!

YEAH!  THAT’S GOOD OL’ ‘P-A’ AND WE LOVE  IT!

And send it to people that never lived in P-A and confuse them, because nice matters.

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Motivational Astrology

Motivational Babysittin

Motivational Bacon Sandwich

Let’s leave today off with a question and a link….

http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/what-if-cannabis-cured-cancer/ 

gif cat
 

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Leprechaun Laffs # 47

DL header # 4

Yeah I know its not my normal header, that’s suddenly evaporated from my files so please don’t hammer the issue. I’ll have to yank it out the back up off my server when I get a minute. It’s about par for the way this week has been going. It’s just one of multiple reasons I am late with the issue today.

WizofId TGIF

Thank goodness indeed! I don’t know if I could take another day to this week the way its been going without serious ugliness ensuing. Aside from it being one minor thing after another here at Firebase Leprechaun, Tuesday Obama announces he’d like another four years to continue making us the laughing stock of the world while totally destroying our financial infrastructure. It seems the swap to Socialism isn’t progressing as rapidly as he’d have liked!

As if THAT was not bad enough UCONN Women lost Sunday to Notre Dame, a problem for me personally with brackets, pools and allegiances but not a total disaster. The Notre Dame went and lost to a Cinderella team in the form of Texas A&M! Molly and her family (practically 90% A&M alum I swear) have not let a day go by without reminding me of this!

Now on top of all that there is this bullshit out of Washington DC about shutting down the government because both sides want to use the budget to play the political equivalent of a game of chicken over issues that have NOTHING to do with the budget and everything to do with partisanship. More on this in my Last Word which is another reason I am so late with this issue today but only after we do some therapeutic laughing first.

!cid_X_MA2_1301701862@aol

The following was sent to us by one of our loyal female readers who wishes to remain anonymous for understandable reasons and shall do so for as long as Impish and I receive our weekly payments!

IMPORTANT MESSAGE!

You’ve no doubt heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else’s thighs.  It was just that quick.  The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal.  Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine?
I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs.  Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. 

And then the thieves struck again……
My butt was next.  I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier.  But my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original!  I realized I’d have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.

Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched.  One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush.  This was really getting scary – my body was being replaced one section at a time.  What could they do to Me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story.  Women of the world wake up and smell the coffee!  Those ‘plastic’ surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts – stolen from you and Me! 

The next time someone you know has something ‘lifted’, Look again – was it lifted from you?

THIS IS NOT A HOAX!

This is happening to women everywhere every night.

WARN YOUR FRIENDS!



P. S.  Last year I thought someone had stolen my Boobs.  I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept.  Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.

I thought this was too ‘important’ not to pass on.  Have a wonderful day – with a joy filled heart.

P. P. S.  Those same thieves just came into my closet and shrank my clothes! 
How do they do that????

Motorcycling: Put the spark back in your relationship

      …..Brings new definition to the term “Hauln’ Ass” that’s for certain!

Hauling Ass

 

banging head

A Blonde goes over to her friend’s house wearing a TGIF tee-shirt.

‘Why are you wearing a Thank God It’s Friday tee-shirt on Monday?’

‘Oh crap!’ the blonde says. ‘I didn’t know I thought it meant Tits Go In Front.’

 

A young aide from DL’s legal department  was leaving the office at 5:45  p.m. when he found CDIR Impish  standing in front of a shredder with a
piece of  paper in his hand.
“Listen,” said Impish, “this is a very sensitive and  important document, and my sexatary is not here. Can you make this thing  work?”
“Certainly,” said the young aide. He turned on the machine,  inserted
the paper, and pressed the start button.
“Excellent,  excellent!” said the Dragon as his paper disappeared inside
the machine, “I just  need one copy so I can get it back on Lethal’s desk before he knows I lost mine borrowed his.”

Lesson: Never, never, ever assume that your boss knows  what he’s doing.

Especially when your boss is a Dragon!

 

A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well; however, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his crotch. Worried that it might be a second surgery and the doctors hadn’t told him about it, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown up enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable. Taped firmly across his pubic hair and private parts were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the athletic kind made from cloth that doesn’t come off easily — if at all. Written on the tape in large black letters was the sentence, ‘Get well soon . from the nurse in the Jeep you pulled over last week.’

Kinda brings tears to your eyes doesn’t it? I’ll bet it did his!

Older - Funnier

getting old 1

getting old 2

getting old 3

An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up. The doctor asked him how he was feeling and the 80-year-old said “Things are great and I’ve never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that?”

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began. “I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was setting off hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. As he neared a lake he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water’s edge. He realized he’d left his gun at home and so couldn’t shoot the magnificent creature but out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went ‘bang, bang’. Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. Now, what do you think of that?” asked the doctor.

The 80-year-old said, “If you ask me, I’d say somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.”

The doctor replied, “My point exactly”.

when does it feel good

 

Groaner Alert

A guy was down on Fisherman’s Wharf in San Francisco when he saw a
seafood restaurant and a sign on the Specials Board which read, “Big
Lobster Tales, $5 each.
” Amazed at the great value, he said to the waitress, “$5 each for
lobster tails … . . . is that correct?” “Yes”, she said, “It’s
our special just for today.” “Well”, he said, “they must be little
lobster tails.” “No,” she replied, “It’s the really big lobster.”
Are you sure they aren’t green lobster tails – and a little bit
tough?” “No”, she said, “it’s the really big red lobster.” “Big red
lobster tails, $5 each?”, he said, amazed. “They must be old
lobster tails!” “No, they’re definitely today’s.” “Today’s big red
lobster tails – $5 each?”, he repeated, astounded. “Yes”, she
insisted.
“Well, here’s my five dollars,” he said, “I’ll take one.
She took the money and led him to a table where she invited him to
sit down.
She then sat down next to him, put her hand on his shoulder, leaned
over close to him and said, “Once upon a time there was a really big
red lobster …”

april_fools_kitty_lg

 

DL - LastWord 2

Buckle them seat belts kiddies and return those tray tables and flight attendants to their previous upright positions! The Ol’ Leprechaun is on a bit of a tear and it’s likely ta get a wee bumpy! Those among you who are Obama devotees, Democrats or thin skinned riders of the Liberal Short Bus incapable of coping with criticism of your attempts to turn this into a socialist nightmare please hit the little window closure ‘x’ right now please ‘cause you’re NOT going to be happy with my remarks even though they are about as non partisan as you can get.

DL bullshit scroll Congress

Specifics:

1.) Said cited parties did engage in a game of ‘political partisan chicken’ utilizing the issue of     the federal budget as their vehicle for reasons other than those of the legitimate interests of the general populace who elected them and who’s best interests they are sworn to serve. Said shanagains potentially have an extreme negative impact of the lives of millions of federal employees and others.

2.) Despite this potentially catastrophic side effect of their game of chicken the afore cited Personae Majorca of the farcical drama flatly refuse to find common ground for a Continuing Resolution to avoid inflicting this calamity on the populace.

3.) With a casual indifference bordering on the criminally negligent all involved parties have high jacked the budgetary process to settle their internal Congressional power struggle like a couple of Somali Warlords with wanton disregard for the collateral damage they are inflicting on their own people.

4.) Our troops in action now in addition to having to worry about their own immediate safety, the safety of the other members of their team/squad, watching out for insurgents pretending to be friendlies and roadside IDEs are now forced to also seriously worry about their families and loved ones back home. Communications from home sparse and rare as they are will no longer be times of joy but likely sorrowful and painful as the left behind spouse relates the sad state of family affairs due sole in cause to those cited in this award. THIS IS A SHAMEFUL, UNCONSCIONABLE AND INTOLERABLE STATE OF AFFAIRS AND A SLAP IN THE FACE TO OUR SERVICE MEN AND WOMEN!

5.) President Obama  has canceled a trip to speak in energy in Indiana, but predictable not as yet another in a long line of his incessant family vacations. Strange we cannot pay the families of our service men & women most of whom live literally from paycheck to paycheck but we can find the funds for the extra costs associated with his weekend vacation getaway! What dies this say about Obama’s connection the the real people of the US or his respect for the military and their families?

6.) President Obama “the Unobtrusive” has according to reports sat in on most of the latest rounds of meetings between both sides. However he appears to have epically failed to exert any discernable decisive leadership in this issue. Instead of taking the stance; “You have fundamental issues that you are still working towards resolution of fine I can live with that. What I cannot live with is the total shutting down of the government over this. I want a Continuing Resolution funding Governmental Operations thru the end of the month on my desk not later than noon Friday. If Bush did not have to suffer shutting down of the government with all the faults we have laid at his feet by Allah I will not either” He simply has caved to those in his party power structure WHO ARE BENEATH HIM in the Democratic Political Hierarchy saying its all the Democrats way or nothing. The primary reason for this is because the ONLY set of balls of any appreciable size in the White House belong to Hillary Clinton when she is there! Leader of the Free world?! Shit, he can’t even lead his own freaking party to moderate fiscal responsibility or to a successfully negotiated budget!

7,) Just to be clear I hold the Republican Party equally in contempt and just as responsible for what is happening as well as the potential consequences. Any idiot knows that the abortion issue in any form is instant death to any bill to which it is attached. It is the Congressional equivalent of the Hatfields and McCoys feud. Republican are attempting to wrap the issue around the “we beat you in midterm elections and have the backing of the people behind us” stick they have been bashing the Democrats with since January and they have to let it go and move on. Serious the stick is broken and if you are not wise enough to drop it you will find it sooner or later the Dems will take it away from you and lodge it someplace REALLY uncomfortable for you.

8.) Democrats and Republican refusing to compromise just enough to obtain a Continuing Resolution is not going to work in either of your favors . Come the next election those whom your political posturing and grandstanding hurt are NOT likely to forget and forgive. Sure post election there may well still be a Democrat or Republican in your seat, but it probably won’t be you. Obama, you want a PRAYER of winning the next election and getting 4 more years to try and turn us into a Socialist Muslim Love Liberal Paradise? You’d better grab the reigns of this runaway stagecoach and start sawing hard on the bits of the Congressional nags in the traces then bloody fast and don’t spare the whip!

DL - Lethal Lep Sig

DL Closing Credits

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Dragon Laffs #1184

Adult Content 2

Good Morning Campers!
So, I’ve finally been dragged, kicking and screaming, into the Facebook world 2and I gotta tell you, I really don’t understand what’s going on.  Now, before everyone goes looking for impish dragon on Facebook (which you will find, btw) I’ve done this in my human persona in order to keep up with my family.  It’s required, I guess.  Way back in the dark ages, I signed up for Facebook using Impish Dragon and almost immediately got like a gazillion friends requests.  It was2b completely overwhelming.  I pretty much shut it off and never opened it again.  It was like a mad house, people kicking and screaming …. I shut the door, it was ugly.

But now, I’ve signed up in order to keep in touch with my family and my extended family that I was so wonderfully connected with at my brothers funeral. I guess somewhere out there is a memorial page to my brother and everything.  I haven’t been able to find it yet. But, I’m not going to keep my status up to the minute and stuff.  I’m not going to connect it to my cell phone so I get a little text message every time my friend has tea. Isn’t that just a bit over the top?  I 2cguess that’s more of a problem with twitter than Facebook.  I don’t twit either, by the way.  Actually, it even sounds kind of dumb.  Didn’t we used to call dumb kids “twits” when we were kids?  “Ah, Jimmy, what the heck did you do that for you stupid twit!” Doesn’t that sound about right?  Not sure that Jimmy ever did lose that sobriquet so maybe, he’s the founder of … nah.  He was too much of a twit to invent twitter.

Anyway, my forays into the ether will keep many of us smiling for some time, I’m sure.  And I’ll keep you guys up to date right here…at good old Dragon Laffs!

Now,

Let’s Laugh!

  


165

Awesome Android Mascot Dance
http://www.makeuseof.com/tech-fun/awesome-android-mascot-dance/ 

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DragonPapa1 (109)

2
This is one of the true stinkers!  I’m warning you.  Just skip over it and go on to the next joke or picture.  This one is bad.  I’m warning you, it’s really bad.

John and Jennifer left the fertility clinic in tears. They were just told that Jennifer could never become pregnant. They would never have the family they both desired so fervently.
Suddenly, a masked man appeared before them. “I think I can help you,” he said, handing them a card.
“Why are you masked?” John asked.
“Because the government has declared our activities illegal. Go to the address on this card. The doctor will take a scraping from one of your mouths and culture it. In less than a year, we will have your baby for you.”
“This is the answer to our prayers!” Jennifer exclaimed. Then she turned to thank the stranger but he was gone. “Who was that masked man?” she asked her husband.
John answered, “That was the Clone Arranger.”ashamed

I warned you!  Didn’t I warn you?  If you read it anyway and got sick from it there is no legal litigation involving our e-zine or the publishing company allowed or that will be considered.

 

164
Look at the shadow…..

groan2
Now Beamrider is getting in on the act: This one requires that you put on special protective gear….

Fireman rescued a man who was badly injured in a car accident. The entire left half of his body was torn off. He was taken to the hospital and examined. The doctors said he was all right. The nurses said there wasn’t much left.

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This one is really very good.  BBC from youtube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=2HiUMlOz4UQ&vq=large

163

Angry Birds….the Movie
http://www.makeuseof.com/tech-fun/angry-birds-movie/ 

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a40

a41

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Mid East Revolution 1012585-1287011465107re-enacted by Angry Birds!
http://www.makeuseof.com/tech-fun/middle-east-revolution-reenacted-angry-birds/

166

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Take one minute….just one click, every day, helps more than you can imagine!

167

New Plasticine iPad
http://www.makeuseof.com/tech-fun/plasticine-ipad/ 

168

Donate2122

169

This is so bad, I want to apologize ahead of time and tell you that it’s not me…it’s allgroan2 Stephanie’s fault!  You have been warned, this is a toxic groaner area!

As we all know, April 1st is that day we traditionally play practical jokes on each other.

In this particular town it is the custom for such jokes to end at Noon.
Last April 1st, John and Big Hoss (two rookie policemen) were patrolling the downtown business area. They decided to stop into the local coffee shop for a coffee and a donut. The time was 11:55 AM.
Three minutes later, they got a call on their police radio, “33 in process, man in bank dressed as a banana.”
Well there was only 1 bank in town; in fact, it was just across from the coffee shop. And a 33 was an “armed robbery”, but it was also just 11:58 AM. John and Big Hoss decided it was the dispatcher playing a joke on them.
They continued enjoying their coffee break.
At 12:01 PM, they got a second call on their radio, “Repeat, Urgent, 33 in process, man in bank dressed as a banana.”
Realizing it was past noon, they rushed across the street, but arrived 30 seconds after the banana split.


170


Let’s put an end to unboxing videos!
http://www.makeuseof.com/tech-fun/unboxing-videos/

171

This guy is so good!  I’d really like to see more from him:
http://www.27bslash6.com/function4sports.html

Holy Crap!
h1

h2

h3

Yeah, good luck with this one around here!
http://wimp.com/garageopener/
slap1

 

This little gif is called “The Break up”… if this dude gif breakupchooses this way to break up with this girl, I’d say it was pretty effective.  I’m pretty sure if they weren’t broke up before, then they are now.  He really hits her pretty hard, but who knows what she’s doing or more importantly, who’s she doing on that lap top…so maybe she deserves it.  I don’t know, I’m not one to judge, but man…the more I watch it, the more I think, “He should be really glad she didn’t have a gun.”

Talk about a great April Fool’s Day Joke…this guy even out-does the Leprechaun!
http://www.makeuseof.com/tech-fun/news-anchor-tricked-licking-ipad/ 

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hunting

Motivational All going to be ok

Motivational Ambition

Oh Becky!  Do I have to put you in the same category as Zack?

My posh neighbour looked over the fence today with a smug grin on his face. He said, ” I did an eagle today on the golf course and got a 2 minute round of applause.”
I soon knocked the smile off his face when I replied, ” Well I once did a flamingo at Chester Zoo and got 2 years in a mental institute, but you don’t get me bragging over the fence.”

 


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 In keeping with Lethal’s Last Word from yesterday, I want to tell you that NOW is 1the time to be thinking about who we want leading our government starting in 2013.  If we don’t make up our minds and get behind someone that we can ALL agree on…and I don’t give a damn if they are Republican, Democrat, Libertarian, liberal, right wing, North Wing, or WHAT-THE-HECK-YA-MA-CALL-IT, then we are going to be stuck with four more years of the same entitlement laden, embarrassing nonsense that we’ve had to put up with.  We also don’t need any of the following along blindly and doing what the “party” expects and demands.  We need REAL change, by REAL Americans.  Like the Americans that led us to our independence.  Friends, we need independence again.  Independence from governmental, bureaucratic overweight onslaught of rules and laws and GOVERNMENT that thinks they know what’s better for us then we do.  WE don’t need rules to tell us what doctor to go to or what car to drive.  Those are the freedoms that we have as American citizens.  There has to be a couple of people out there who most of us can agree on that will do a good job of leading our country!  Where are the next leaders?
Please, think about it.

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