So, I’m showing 374 more Christmas memes and 3 more issues counting this one. That’s 125 per issue … 

Nope, not gonna happen.

But then again, some of them are likely to be repeats and stuff I’m not gonna use and …

But then again, I’m likely to get MORE stuff from you guys that’s really good BETWEEN now and Christmas ….

You guys may end up with a bonus issue in there …

Maybe a bonus Impish Dragon Birthday Issue…

Hmmmmmmmmmmm

 

(Did he really say something about his birthday?)
(Yeah, I think he did!)

 

 

Spacing is EVERYTHING!
And stop whispering in the corner over there!

 

 

Doesn’t anyone proofread headlines anymore?

 

 

Seen outside my shop the other day on my way to another of the endless meetings…

And that is just a normal day looking up from my backyard.

Actually, it’s quite similar.

“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” (1 Peter 5:8 NKJV) If we’re going to quote scripture, let’s at least get it right, shall we? I agree that the sentiment is correct … sort of … but that is NOT a quote.

Just sayin’…

 

 

This next one is from Joe and he has this to say about it.

My aircraft squadron was on CVS-15 for many cruises. Peace time. 

If this isn’t amazing, I don’t know what is!

15 Escort Carriers in 12 months! Henry Kaiser’s ship yard, 15,000 workers! One of the best WW-II history stories you’ll ever read. 

ENJOY!

Yeah, but we won’t discuss the fact that the earth is only a bit over 6,000 years old.

 

 

I hope everyone gets that one!

 

 

Silly Joke

A man is playing the piano softly one night in a downtown bar.

In walks an elephant (told you it was silly) who goes over to the pianist, and suddenly the elephant starts to cry.

“There, there”, says the pianist “Do you recognize the song?”

“No, no,” says the elephant ” I recognize the white keys.”

 

 

 

 

Somewhere down in the deep South, Bubba was sittin’ on his porch, scratching his head and staring real hard at a stack of newspapers. After about an hour of deep thinkin’, he picked up the phone and called the local attorney.

“Hey there, mister lawyer,” Bubba began. “I was readin’ in the paper that folks are suin’ the cigarette companies ’cause smokin’ gave ’em cancer. That true?”

The lawyer sighed. “Yes, Bubba, that’s true.”

Bubba grunted like this was confirm-in’ one of his biggest suspicions. “Alright then. And I also heard folks are suin’ them fast-food places ’cause eatin’ all them burgers and fries made ’em big as a barn. That right too?”

“Yep,” the attorney replied. “That’s been happenin’.”

Bubba shuffled some more papers dramatically, like he was preparing to unveil a grand legal theory. “Well,” he said, “I been thinkin’ a whole lot today. Did some real deep soul-searchin’… even skipped my afternoon nap to make room for all this thinkin’.”

The lawyer braced himself. “Alright, Bubba… what exactly are you gettin’ at?”

Bubba cleared his throat. “If they’re out here suin’ everybody for stuff they chose to do… then maybe—just maybe—I oughta get me a piece of that action too.”

“And what would you be suing for?” the attorney asked.

Bubba took a deep breath and said proudly:

“Cause I’m thinkin’… maybe I can sue Budweiser for all them ugly women I’ve been wakin’ up with!”

So true it hurts!!!

 

 

Another essay from Pete, and another great read.  Thank you brother.

I figure that I have probably sent this to you before but again, it is one that I post every year.

Another long one but, sure worth it!

For as long as I can remember, this man has been one of my personal heroes! I have met and been with a lot of famous people, l am not starstruck by any means but, this is one “Star” I would have loved to have met! 
Pete

Jimmy Stewart Remembers “It’s a Wonderful Life”
By Jimmy Stewart

A friend told me recently that seeing a movie I made over 50 years ago is a holiday tradition in his family “like putting up the Christmas tree.” That movie is “It’s a Wonderful Life,” and out of all the 80 films I’ve made, it’s my favorite. But it has an odd history.

When the war was over in 1945, I came back home to California from three years’ service in the Air Force. I had been away from the film business, my MGM contract had run out, and frankly, not knowing how to get started again, I was just a little bit scared. Hank Fonda was in the same boat, and we sort of wandered around together, talking, flying kites and stuff. But nothing much was happening. Then one day Frank Capra phoned me. The great director had also been away in service, making the “Why We Fight” documentary series for the military, and he admitted to being a little frightened too. But he had a movie in mind, so we met to talk about it. He said the idea came from a Christmas story written by Philip Van Doren Stern. Stern couldn’t sell the story anywhere, but he finally had 200 twenty-four- page pamphlets printed up at his own expense, and he gave them to his friends as a greeting card. “Now listen,” Frank began hesitantly. He seemed a little embarrassed about what he was going to say. “The story starts in heaven, and it’s sort of the Lord telling somebody to go down to earth because there’s a fellow who’s in trouble, and this heavenly being goes to a small town, and …”

Frank swallowed and took a deep breath. “Well, what it boils down to is, this fella who thinks he’s a failure in life jumps off a bridge. The Lord sends down an angel named Clarence, who hasn’t earned his wings yet, and Clarence jumps into the water to save the guy. But the angel can’t swim, so the guy has to save him, and then …” Frank stopped and took a deep breath. “This doesn’t tell very well, does it?” I jumped up. “Frank, if you want to do a picture about a guy who jumps off a bridge and an angel named Clarence who hasn’t won his wings yet coming down to save him, well, I’m your man!”

Production of “It’s a Wonderful Life” started April 15, 1946, and from the beginning there was a certain something special about the film. Even the set was special. Two months had been spent creating the town of Bedford Falls, New York. For the winter scenes, the special-effects department invented a new kind of realistic snow instead of using the traditional white cornflakes. As one of the longest American movie sets ever made until then, Bedford Falls had 75 stores and buildings on four acres with a three-block main street lined with 20 full grown oak trees. As I walked down that shady street the morning we started work, it reminded me of my hometown, Indiana, Pennsylvania. I almost expected to hear the bells of the Presbyterian church, where Mother played the organ and Dad sang in the choir. I chuckled, remembering how the fire siren would go off, and Dad, a volunteer fireman, would slip out of the choir loft. If it was a false alarm, Dad would sneak back and sort of give a nod to everyone to assure them that none of their houses was in danger. I remembered how, after I got started in pictures, Dad, who’d come to California for a visit, asked, “Where do you go to church around here?” “Well, ” I stammered, “I haven’t been going … There’s none around here.” Dad disappeared and came back with four men. “You must not have looked very hard, Jim,” he said, “because there’s a Presbyterian church just three blocks from here, and these are the elders. They’re building a new building now, and I told them you were a movie star and you would help them.” And so Brentwood Presbyterian was the first church I belonged to out here. Later that church was the one in which Gloria and I were married. A few years after that it was the same church I’d slip into during the day when Gloria was near death after our twin girls were born. Then, after we moved, we attended Beverly Hills Presbyterian, a church we could walk to. It wasn’t the elaborate movie set, however, that made “It’s a Wonderful Life” so different; much of it was the story.

The character I played was George Bailey, an ordinary kind of fella who thinks he’s never accomplished anything in life. His dreams of becoming a famous architect, of traveling the world and living adventurously, have not been fulfilled. Instead he feels trapped in a humdrum job in a small town. And when faced with a crisis in which he feels he has failed everyone, he breaks under the strain and flees to the bridge. That’s when his guardian angel, Clarence, comes down on Christmas Eve to show him what his community would be like without him. The angel takes him back through his life to show how our ordinary everyday efforts are really big achievements. Clarence reveals how George Bailey’s loyalty to his job at the building-and- loan office has saved families and homes, how his little kindnesses have changed the lives of others, and how the ripples of his love will spread through the world, helping make it a better place.

Good as the script was, there was still something else about the movie that made it different. It’s hard to explain. I, for one, had things happen to me during the filming that never happened in any other picture I’ve made. In one scene, for example George Bailey is faced with unjust criminal charges and, not knowing where to turn, ends up in a little roadside restaurant. He is unaware that most of the people in town are arduously praying for him. In this scene, at the lowest point in George Bailey’s life, Frank Capra was shooting a long shot of me slumped in despair. In agony I raised my eyes and, following the script, pled, “God … God … Dear Father in heaven, I’m not a praying man, but if You’re up there and You can hear me, show me the way. I’m at the end of my rope. Show me the way, God …”

As I said those words, I felt the loneliness, the hopelessness of people who had nowhere to turn, and my eyes filled with tears. I broke down sobbing. This was not planned at all, but the power of that prayer, the realization that our Father in heaven is there to help the hopeless, had reduced me to tears. Frank, who loved spontaneity in his films, was ecstatic. He wanted a close-up of me saying that prayer, but was sensitive enough to know that my breaking down was real and that repeating it in another take was unlikely. But Frank got his close-up anyway. The following week he worked long hours in the film laboratory, again and again enlarging the frames of that scene so that eventually it would appear as a close-up on the screen. I believe nothing like this had ever been done before. It involved thousands of individual enlargements with extra time and money. But he felt it was worth it.

There was a growing excitement among all of us as we strove day and night through the early summer of 1946. We threw everything we had into our work. Finally, after three months, shooting some 68 miles of 35-millimeter film we completed the filming and had a big wrap-up party for everyone. It was an outdoor picnic with three-legged races and burlap-bag sprints, just like the picnics back home in Pennsylvania.

At the outing, Frank talked enthusiastically about the picture. He felt that the film as well as the actors would be up for Academy Awards. Both of us wanted it to win, not only because we believed in its message, but also for the reassurance we needed in this time of starting over.

But life doesn’t always work out the way we want it to. The movie came out in December 1946, and from the beginning we could tell it was not going to be the success we’d hoped for. The critics had mixed reactions. Some liked it (“a human drama of essential truth”); others felt it “too sentimental … a figment of simple Pollyanna platitudes.”

As more reviews came out, our hopes sank lower and lower. During early February 1947, eight other current films including “Sinbad the Sailor” and Betty Grable’s “The Shocking Miss Pilgrim,” outranked it in box-office income. The postwar public seemed to prefer lighthearted fare. At the end of 1947, “It’s a Wonderful Life” ranked 27th in earnings among the releases that season. And although it earned several Oscar nominations, despite our high hopes, it won nothing. “Best picture for 1946” went to “The Best Years of Our Lives.” By the end of 1947 the film was quietly put on the shelf. But a curious thing happened. The movie simply refused to stay on the shelf. Those who loved it loved it a lot, and they must have told others. They wouldn’t let it die any more than the angel Clarence would let George Bailey die. When it began to be shown on television, a whole new audience fell in love with it. Today, after some 50 years, I’ve heard the film called “an American cultural phenomenon.” Well, maybe so, but it seems to me there is nothing phenomenal about the movie itself. It’s simply about an ordinary man who discovers that living each ordinary day honorably, with faith in God and a selfless concern for others, can make for a truly wonderful life.

What do you get when three rabbits hop backward in a row?

 

Answer: A receding hare line.

We don’t earn a living anymore. We rent survival by the month.

Getting old is weird. You’re still the same enthusiastic kid but you’re trapped in this less than cooperative body.

That’s it, I’m done with this one. Past my bedtime. Wiped out. Be well, Be Blessed. My love to you all!

Down to less than a week now.  A couple of issues of DL left to go.  I have like zero time to get this issue out, so let’s jump right in!

A quick prayer from Joe:

My muscles are sore, but they work. I did not sleep well last night, but God woke me up. My wallet is not full, but my belly is. I may not have it all, but God gives me what I need. My life is not perfect, but my life is good. 

I’ve truly been blessed. Thank you Lord. Amen.

We have these on our base.  They work quite well.

 

 

Yup, that’ll be me in a few days…

 

 

Not everyone will get that one.

 

 

 

 

Political Quotes . . .

1. *Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
— Mark Twain


2. *We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
— Winston Churchill


3. *A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
— George Bernard Shaw


4. *A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.
— G. Gordon Liddy


5. *Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.
— James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)


6. *Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
— Douglas Casey, Classmate of W.J.Clinton at Georgetown Uni. (1992)


7. *Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
— P.J. O’Rourke, Civil Libertarian


8. *Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.
— Frederic Bastiat, French Economist (1801-1850)


9. *Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
— Ronald Reagan (1986)


10. *I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
–Will Rogers


11 *If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it’s free.
— P.J. O’Rourke


12. *If you want government to intervene domestically, you’re a liberal.
If you want government to intervene overseas, you’re a conservative.
If you want government to intervene everywhere, you’re a moderate.
If you don’t want government to intervene anywhere, you’re an extremist.
— Joseph Sobran, Editor of the National Review at one time (1995)


13. *In general, the art of government consists in taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other.
— Voltaire (1764)


14. *Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn’t mean politics won’t take an interest in you.
— Pericles (430 B.C.)


15. *No man’s life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.
— Mark Twain (1866)


16. *Talk is cheap-except when Congress does it.
— (Meandyou)


17. *The government is like a baby’s alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.
— Ronald Reagan


18. *The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
— Winston Churchill


19. *The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
— Mark Twain


20. *The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.
— Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)


21. *There is no distinctly native American criminal class save Congress.
— Mark Twain

That one is so cool!!!!

 

 

Here’s a little essay that Pete shares with us every year, not Aussie Pete, our other Pete.  I truly love this story. It marks the TRUE spirit of Christmas for me.

The cost of a gift.

 

It was a Christmas many, many years ago. A four year old little girl was filled with the expectations of all that is Christmas. Wide eyed with joy and excitement over the thought of Santa Claus coming down her chimney and leaving her a present, full of wonder of what it would be, a new baby doll, maybe a bicycle, maybe even a new doll house. She wondered and hoped as she fell asleep that Christmas Eve.

What that little girl did not know was that her family had fallen on very hard times. This was a time long before unemployment payments, food stamps and all of the other safety nets we have today, times were hard, very hard and there was very little money for even putting food on the table for this Mother and Father and their five children, let alone buying Christmas presents for them. But still, the little girl slept that night comforted in the believe of the magic of Christmas.

She awoke that Christmas morning to find one gift with her name on it, with newspaper as it’s wrapping. Inside she found a book, a used book, a book so used and worn that the cover was long gone. It was the only thing her Mother and Father could come up with to give her but, it was something.

Now, I know what you’re thinking but, the little girl loved that book, she loved it so much that she carried it with her everywhere and asked anyone and everyone to read it to her. She had so many people read it to her that even though she could not read, she could read that little beat up, worn out little book because, she followed the words as it was read to her. She loved her book so much and that love of books and reading would follow her all the days of her life.

I know this story to be true, the year was 1922, the book was Little Black Sambo and the little girl….that was my Mother.

My Grandma and Grandpa Sutton’s inability to pay for a gift gave my mother the greatest gift she could have received that Christmas morning. They gave her a hunger for the knowledge, the stories, the adventures and thrills she found in books and love of reading that followed her for the next 95 years of her life.

The cost of that gift was simply the love Grandma and Grandpa had for a four year old little girl.

 

May you find the real gifts, the real love and the real magic of Christmas this year…..

Pete

Thank you my dear friend. That true story always brings a tear to my eye, maybe because I, too have such a love affair with words. Regardless, I expect to receive it again next year.

The young man told his father, “I want to marry a good woman, a smart woman, one who’ll be a good mother to our kids, a woman who will make me happy.”

His father told him he’d better make up his mind.

A psychology student was to help a professor in conducting a personality test. The room was set up with various props in order to move through the assessment quickly. The first person to enter the room started through the test. 

“How does this glass of water look to you?”

Person 1: It is half empty.

Student writes ‘pessimist’ in his report.

Person 2 enters the room. “How does this glass of water look to you?” 

Person 2: It is half full.

Student writes ‘optimist’ in his report.

Person 3 enters the room. “How does this glass of water look to you?” 

Person 3: Looks like you have twice as much glass as you need there. 

The student looks totally blank and goes to consult with the professor. 

“Oh them!”, the professor says, “I forgot to warn you about the engineers! They have no personality.” 

I miss the days when happiness was a backyard swing and laughter echoed down the block. When we rode bikes until sunset, shared home-cooked meals, and trusted the world around us. We didn’t need much to feel rich, just each other and a little bit of peace.

Thank you.

 

 

The guy I pay to pick up  poop in my backyard just found out I don’t have any pets.

Yesterday, I left work pretending to be sick.
Today, two colleagues didn’t show up, saying they caught it from me.
Freaking liars!

If you’re attracted to both women and men but neither of them are attracted to you, that means you are Bi-Yourself.

Or we ARE that one friend.

 

 

And that’s it my friends…I am now way behind in my nightly stuff, so I have to dash.  Until Saturday, May you be Blessed in all ways by our Father in Heaven!  My love to you all!

Well, as I said in the last issue’s closing, I’m jumping right into the next episode so as to get as much done as I can since things are coming to a head.

Okay, so since I’ve written that first paragraph, I’ve gotten new WiFi service, picked Izzy up from work, my new electric snow shovel showed up from Amazon and I assembled that, I wrapped some presents, started the bike for ten minutes … I’m now worn OUT!

I also bought a GIANT surge protector to straighten out my battery charging area.  Fixed that up as well.

Anyway, so that was me this afternoon….hope you had as much of a productive day as I did. So now …

 

How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?

She fell out of the tree.

Hey, don’t blame me!  I’m just passing them on!

 

 

A customer called our airline’s reservation office to pay for his ticket with a credit card.

As is our normal policy with all customers, my co-worker asked him:

“Would you please spell the name as it appears on your card, sir?”

The customer replied, “Oh, sure! V – I – S – A.”

This last one was recently published on our EM Website at work, so I thought I’d share it with you guys.  It’s pretty raw and basic, but it’s a really good place to start if you don’t already have a bugout bag.

 

 

This is the electric snow shovel that I bought and it looks like I may get a chance to use it real soon.  It’s snowing and the temperature is dropping.  Right now it’s down to 17 degrees with a windchill of 3 and it’s just gonna get colder.

 

 

Petey was a snake, only so big. Petey lived in a pit with his mother.

One day Petey was hissing in the pit when his mother said, “Petey, don’t hiss in the pit, go outside the pit to hiss.”

So Petey went outside of the pit to hiss. Petey was hissing all around when he finally leaned over and hissed in the pit.

Petey’s mother heard Petey hissing in the pit and said, “Petey, if you must hiss in a pit, go over to Mrs. Pott’s pit and hiss in her pit.

Petey went over to Mrs. Pott’s pit to hiss in her pit, but Mrs. Pott was not at home so he hissed in her pit anyway. While Petey was hissing in Mrs Pott’s pit Mrs. Pott came home and found Petey hissing in her pit.

She said, “Petey, if you must hiss in a pit, don’t hiss in my pit; go to your own pit and hiss.”

This made Petey very sad, and he cried all the way home.

When Petey got home, his mother saw him crying and said, “Petey, what’s the matter?”

Petey said, “I went over to Mrs. Pott’s to hiss in her pit but Mrs. Pott was not at home, so I hissed in her pit anyway. Mrs. Pott came home and found me hissing in her pit and said, “Petey, if you must hiss in a pit go to your own pit and hiss, don’t hiss in my pit.”

This made Petey’s mother very angry and she said, “Why that mean old Lady! I knew Mrs. Pott when she didn’t have a pit to hiss in!

There was this physicist who was in the habit of getting home quite late. 

One time, he came home at 2:30 a.m. with a torn shirt, lipstick on his collar, hair messed up, and generally looking like a wreck. 

His wife caught him coming in the door and demanded to know why he came home so late. 

His replied, “Well, after I left work today, a few friends and I went out to the bar for a few drinks. 

We met up with some rather good-looking young women and started to drink to excess. 

Things just kept happening, as you can well see. 

I sobered up enough to note how late it was, so I rushed home.” 

She screamed, “You liar! You were in the lab again, weren’t you?” 

The Perks of Being Over 60


Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.

No one expects you to run — anywhere.

People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”

People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

Things you buy now won’t wear out.

You can eat dinner at 4 p.m.

You can live without sex (though not without glasses).

You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations.

You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

You have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize it.

You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

You sing along with elevator music.

Your eyes won’t get much worse.

Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the Met. Office.

Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them, either.

Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

Who was Alexander Graham Kowalski?

 

He was the first Telephone Pole

 

 

Did you know that “T-Shirt” is actually an abbreviated version of “Tyrannosaurus Shirt”?

Because of the short arms.

 

 

And that’s it, now I have snow to electrically shovel….(insert evil laughter here)

May the Good Lord Bless you all with Love and Happiness.

I just spent the entire day filling out Christmas cards … my hands hurt.  I both really enjoyed that and really disliked that.  Does that make sense?

I liked it because I’m trying … so very hard … to get into the Christmas spirit, I truly am.

I disliked it because I’m failing miserably in that last statement.

I had a long bit written here, but I erased it, that’s not what this is for, this is for laughter and fun, so let’s get to it, shall we? 

Okay, so we’ve seen this one before, but it’s just so … moronic … I just had to share it again when it was sent to me again.

 

 

And we’ve seen this one before, too…but … it’s just too funny not to share again.

 

 

Why do women have smaller feet than men?

It’s one of those “evolutionary things” that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

Joe, you know you’re goin’ to hell for that.

 

 

 

In my job with a delivery company, I was getting phone directions to a customer’s home. 

The woman very specifically said, “From the main road in the center of town go two lights. Look for the post office. Turn left onto the next street. Go 1.3 miles. 

Drive past one red hydrant and then take the next right. Go 50 yards. My driveway is the second on the right, and the number is on the mailbox.”

As I entered the information into the computer, I asked, “What color is your house?”

The woman paused a second and said, “Hold on. I’ll go check.

The wise learn more from fools than fools from the wise.

A true American Veteran!

Fred had been suffering from terrible headaches for over twenty years.

Finally, he went to see a specialist. After a long examination, the doctor said:

“Fred, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is… it will require castration.

You have a rare condition where your testicles press against your spine, causing severe headaches. Removing them is the only way to relieve the pressure.”

Fred was stunned and devastated, but after years of pain, he agreed to the surgery.

When he left the hospital, he felt strange and incomplete — but for the first time in decades, he had no headache.

As he walked down the street, he decided he needed a fresh start. A new life.

Maybe even a new wardrobe.

He passed a men’s clothing store and thought, Why not?

He walked in and told the salesman, “I’d like a new suit.”

The elderly tailor looked him over and said, “You’re a size 44 long.”

Fred laughed. “That’s right. How did you know?”

“Been in the business sixty years,” the tailor said.

Fred tried on the suit — it fit perfectly.

“How about a shirt?” the tailor asked.

Fred nodded, and the tailor studied him again. “34 sleeve, 16½ neck.”

“Amazing,” Fred said. “Exactly right.”

“Been in the business sixty years,” the tailor replied.

After trying on the perfect shirt, Fred walked around the store feeling better already.

Then the tailor asked, “How about some new underwear?”

“Sure,” Fred said.

The tailor looked him over and said, “Size 36.”

Fred laughed loudly. “Got you there! I’ve worn size 34 since I was eighteen.”

The tailor shook his head and said:

“You can’t wear size 34.

Size 34 would press your testicles right up against the base of your spine… and give you one terrible headache.”

“Two Houma Men Taken into Custody After Roux Debate Escalates to Brawl in Grocery Store Parking Lot”

HOUMA, LA — Two Terrebonne Parish residents were taken into custody Monday afternoon following a physical altercation in a local grocery store parking lot over how to properly make a gumbo.

According to Houma Police Department reports, 45-year-old Leroy “Choupic” Gautreaux of Chauvin and 48-year-old Wayne “Crab Leg” Duplantis of Houma initially engaged in a heated verbal debate around 12:30 p.m., during lunchtime, regarding whether a traditional gumbo requires a roux. The disagreement quickly escalated into a brawl, when both men reportedly started shoving each other and striking each other with wooden spoons and fists near parked vehicles.

Witnesses described the scene as chaotic, noting that grocery carts were overturned and several jars of file powder shattered onto the asphalt. Store staff intervened and called authorities to de-escalate the situation.

Police arrived on the scene and took both men into custody, charging them with disturbing the peace and reckless conduct in a public space. No serious injuries were reported. Both men were released later that afternoon after posting bond.

The incident highlights the intensity of cultural debates surrounding Cajun cooking. Gautreaux insisted that a flour based roux is essential for an authentic gumbo, while Duplantis stated that an onion-base is how his momma showed him while shouting “roux equals stew” to Gautreaux.

Store management confirmed that normal parking lot operations resumed shortly after the altercation and reminded patrons to keep culinary disputes confined to kitchens rather than public areas.

Law enforcement officials emphasized that, while spirited discussions about food are common in South Louisiana, physical confrontations—even over recipes—can result in legal consequences.

This brawl has sparked local discussion about tradition, culinary pride, and the limits of passionate debate in public spaces, proving that even a lunchtime discussion about roux can turn the bayou into a battleground. 

11:38 – Arrived at crime scene.

11:38 – Examined body. Signs of a struggle.

11:38 – Found murder weapon.

11:38 – Realized watch was broken.

What color are submarines?

Deep navy.

Finished this one up in time.

I hope you enjoyed it, my dear friends. Going to get the next one started.  May our Dear Lord Bless you all.

 

So, you may have noticed on Monday that I screwed up and you got Monday’s and Thursday’s issues both on Monday … so I’m going to try and throw together an issue for Thursday so you’ll have something to open on Thursday.

If you didn’t notice … go back and look, there are two of them there.

Sigh!

It just goes to show you how my life’s been lately.

But anyway… let’s get this road on the show, shall we?

Okay, bear with me…I’ve lost track of which of the videos I’ve used and which I haven’t so if there are some repeats … just laugh again.

 

This one is beautiful!!!

 

Or are Gingerbread men made out of houses…?

Obviously sent in by somebody else…

 

 

See, I don’t think that’s strange at all … I’ve prayed that more than a few times.

 

 

Another beautiful one…

Izzy’s response: And the Americans want to keep Western Civilization. Dude, can you imagine, it’s like the 18th of December and you’re expecting carolers and you open your door and there’s a horse skull outside your door?!

I laughed SO HARD!!!!!

 

 

Two women walk into a tanning salon. 

The receptionist asks: “Are you two sisters?

“Oh no replied one, We’re not even Catholic”. 

 

 

 

Got some mail from our South African buddy about this picture:

Hi Bob

Hope you are well

Not that I like the British, but in their defence – this is not in England. They, like us, drive on the left.

Groete 

Wouter 

That’s a really good point, Wouter!

 

After watching the Tour de France for several years running, a guy decides that he’s going to get into cycling…

So he buys himself a brand new light weight racing bike, and he sets out for his first long ride. He’s pretty fit, and he takes a long route over several hills. But on his way back, he finds that he’s just too tired to continue, and he just can’t make it back up over those hills.

He decides to try to catch a ride back, but traffic is very heavy and nobody stops. Finally a guy in a Porsche pulls over and he agrees to give him a ride. Despite his good intentions, the driver soon discovers that the bike doesn’t fit in his car. 

“I have an idea,” he says. “I have some rope in the trunk of my car, so I’ll tie one end to my back bumper, and the other end to your bike. If I’m going too fast, just ring the bell on your bike, and I’ll slow down.”

Off they go, slowly at first, and everything goes fine for the first 20 minutes or so. The guy driving the Porsche regularly checks his mirror to make sure that the cyclist is doing okay. All is well, so the driver puts on some music, and starts to relax.

He’s just enjoying the scenery, tapping his hands to the music, when suddenly a blonde in a red Corvette blows by him at over 75 miles an hour. Completely forgetting the cyclist that he is towing, the Porsche driver instantly puts his foot on the gas to give chase, quickly accelerating to over 90 miles an hour.

Down the road a police officer has set up a speed trap, and he is clocking traffic with a speed gun. In complete disbelief, he radios in to his superior back at the station. 

He says, “Sergeant, you’re not going to believe this… but I just clocked a Corvette and a Porsche speeding through a 45 zone at over 90 miles an hour…”

He continues, “And, Sergeant, that’s not even the amazing part. Right behind them, literally on the tail of the Porsche, an incredible, crazy guy on a racing bicycle, ringing his bell, trying to pass them!”

And that’s it… I got it done.

May God Bless you and keep you until we meet again.