I’m watching the news and they are doing an anti-ICE protest in Minneapolis and the temperature is like -7°F there and the pictures that they are showing is a LOT of people standing around, very few of them yelling, most of them so wrapped up you can’t tell whether they are yelling anything or not, all of them stamping their feet trying to stay warm and I’m sorry, all I can do is laugh…. A LOT! 

The left is blowing up over ICE “arresting” a 5 year old boy. It’s pure crap. The boys father ran and left him, so what’s ICE supposed to do? Leave the boy alone in the cold? No, of course not. They even tried taking the boy back to where he said him and his dad were staying. They knocked on the door and the people inside refused to take him in. 

I like what the commentator just said. ICE is taking care of a lot more kids in Minnesota than the Somalia child care centers are.

Anyway, while I have my minions get ready for the snow-pocolypse that’s supposed to be headed to wipe out the United States, let’s give you guys some fun stuff, shall we?

Oh, before I go, let me show you this. Buddy Wheats gave me this idea, incase the lights go out. Better than candles. (And please don’t judge me for the messiness of my kitchen)

 

Left side is out of the box, right side is proof of concept, full of oil and flame lit. 

And with that…

Let’s start with some cold weather stuff…

Outside of my church.

 

 

“Doctor, Doctor, You’ve got to help me – I just can’t stop my hands shaking!” 

“Do you drink a lot?”

“Not really – I spill most of it!”

Funny story, I was working out of town and was driving home in the snow quite similar if not worse than the road pictured above. Highway Dept had those great posts with reflectors on each side of the road and I figured so long as I stayed between the reflectors I would be fine and besides, someone had blazed a trail before me and I was following in their tracks.  Then, as I was driving along I realized that both sets of reflectors were off to my left and I was driving through the field … although I was still following the tracks of the previous driver who had also driven into the field. I managed to drive back onto the roadway and eventually found my way home only taking 4 hours to my usual 1 hour trip. I can laugh about it now, but at the time, well I wasn’t laughing at all. There were other interesting portions of that drive that were even more horrifying, like the 50 yards of black ice that I only knew about because of the 20 or so cars that were strewn about before me.

Great fun.

 

 

A young girl (18ish) walks into a prestige car sales room. Looks around at all the Porsches, Lamborghini’s, Jags etc., and says to the salesman “can I have the red one?” – a top of the range Porsche. 

” I’ll pay cash!” and starts taking handfuls of tenners out of a carrier bag until she gets to the right price.

The deal is finalized very quickly and the girl drives it away.

She is back 2 days later – “I want my money back…it smell awfully bad when I use the brakes” she states emphatically.

Not wanting to lose the sale (having taken cash and fiddled the books) the manager decides to ride in the car with her ‘in case she is not driving it properly’

He gets in and she roars out of the dealership, drops it into second gear at 55 mph, floors the pedal again and slips into 3rd at 80 mph does a handbrake turn into a country lane and then really starts to accelerate.

120 mph into 4th gear; 5th at 145 mph. 

The engine is screaming, trying to leap out of the bonnet when it reaches 170 mph. 

The scenery is a green blur the G-force has him pinned in the seat. 

In the distance, to his relief, the barriers of a level crossing are beginning to come down and she will have to slow down (he thinks!) instead the pitch of the engine increases.

100 yards from the crossing she slams on the brakes and the car stops inches from the barrier.

“Can you smell it?” she says.

“SMELL IT? I’M SITTING IN IT!”

You’re traveling west on the Oregon Trail. It’s 1847. Your wagon is half-broken, your oxen are malnourished, and you’ve already buried three friends thanks to dysentery and one bad river crossing. Spirits are low.

One afternoon, you stop at a dusty fort to trade a wheel and half a sack of flour. There, leaning against a post and chewing on a piece of straw like he owns the frontier itself, you meet another pioneer.

He introduces himself calmly.

“Name’s Terry.”

You pause. You look at him – the mud-caked boots, the rifle slung over his shoulder, the thousand-yard stare of a man who’s definitely seen things.

And you laugh.

“Terry?” you say. “That’s a girl name!”

The fort goes silent. Even the wind seems to stop. Terry slowly removes the straw from his mouth. He doesn’t argue. He doesn’t explain. He doesn’t clarify that Terry is short for Terrence, or that names work differently in the 1800s.

He just raises his rifle.

Bang.

Your screen fades to black.

You have died of dissin’ Terry.

I print this out into bookmarks and pass it out to the guys in the jail.

 

 

Honesty is a very expensive gift.
Don’t expect it from cheap people.

I can’t even imagine the self control required to work at a bubble wrap factory.

Worrying is like walking around with an umbrella, waiting for it to rain.

Boss: Can you work this weekend? 

Me: Yeah, no worries, but I’ll probably be late as public transportation on a weekend is a bit slow. 

Boss: What time will you get here? 

Me: Monday.

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

What’s worse than your girlfriend sending you a text to “Break up”?

Another text saying, “Sorry, that wasn’t for you!”

 

 

“Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness.”

~ Mark Twain

 

And that’s it my friends. I do so hope that you enjoyed this as much as I did. And until we meet again …

So, some snoopy reporter snapped the above picture while I was on a clandestine mission. He was all happy and trying to get a story out of me, asking all kinds of silly reporter type questions, like didn’t I think it was wrong for us to subjugate the poor people of Greenland and make them slaves to the American people and … so I ate him.

But I kept his camera.

But my buddy, DT and I actually got some stuff accomplished and I’m sure you’ll hear about it soon enough.

So, in the mean time … 

Please endite them.

Okay, this next one is absolutely terrible … so I just have to include it! Thanks, Chris! LOL!

As of today, three arrests have been made with charges that can lead up to ten years in prison.  Let’s see if they follow through.

“Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.” 
– Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

“Doc – I think I’m losing it ” he says. “I’m forever dreaming I wrote The Lord of the Rings”. 

“Hmmm. One moment”, replies the doctor, consulting his medical records. 

” Ah yes, now I see, …. you’ve been Tolkien in your sleep.”

So very true.

This one always gets to me.

Because it’s so very, very true.

So…how many of you have been buried under the snow? I’m writing this on Friday in Indiana, no snow right now, but it’s lunch time and the temperature is 4°F and it feels like -14°F. There is a warning out for exploding trees. Yes, you read that right. Depending on which weather service you look at/listen to we are going to get somewhere between 1 inch and 3 feet of snow this weekend. They are all over the place with their predictions. 

“Doctor, am I going to die?”

“Don’t worry; that’s the last thing you’re going to do.” 

And that’s the best spouse will do!

LOVE that one!

New Bulletin Bloopers


Next Friday we will be serving hot gods for lunch.

If you would like to make a donation, fill out a form, enclose a check and drip in the collection basket. 

Nov.11: An evening of bowling at Lincoln Country Club.

Karen’s beautiful solo: “It is Well With My Solo.”

Congratulations to Tim and Ronda on the birth of their daughter October 12 thru 17. 

If you choose to heave during the Postlude, please do so quietly. 

We are grateful for the help of those who cleaned up the grounds around the church building and the rector. 

Hymn: “I Love Thee My Ford.”

Sign-up sheet for anyone wishing to be water baptized on the table in the foyer. 

Newsletters are not being sent to absentees because of their weight. 

Helpers are needed!
Please sign up on the information sheep.

The Advent Retreat will be held in the lover level of St. Mary’s Cathedral. 

The District Duperintendent will be meeting with the church boared. 


As soon as the weather clears up, the men will have a goof outing. 

Fifth Sinday in Lent.

Lent is a period for preparing for Holy Weed and Easter.

Thank you, dead friends.

Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget all His benefits.

For the word of God is quick and powerful, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soup and spirit. 

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peach to men.

Bring one dozen coolies wrapped for Christmas.

The lovers in the exhaust fan are not working.

Volunteers are needed to spit up food.

Head Deacon and Dead Deaconess

We pray that our people will jumble themselves.

Morris attends a lecture on the subject of: “Hunger or Sex, which instinct is the stronger?”

The lecturer describes to the audience of a series of tests he had conducted to find a scientific answer. 
 
“For my tests,” he says, “I used one healthy male and one healthy female chimpanzee. 

Before each test, I kept them apart so they could not see or hear each other. 

I also starved the male of both food and sex for a week. 
 
For my 1st test, I put a bowl of food in the middle of my lab and then placed the male in one corner and the female in the opposite corner. 

The male looked at the female, then looked at the food, then rushed to the bowl of food and devoured it. 

So, ladies and gentlemen, it looked like hunger prevailed over the sexual instincts of the male. 
 
But as a true scientist, I did a 2nd test to see whether the earth’s magnetic field had influenced the outcome. 

Again I kept the apes separate, starved the male and put the bowl of food in the middle of the lab. 

Then I put the male in the Southwest corner and the female facing him in the Northeast corner. 

The male immediately looked at the female, then at the food, then rushed to the bowl of food and devoured it.

So once again the male preferred food to sex. 
 
But I wanted to be absolutely sure of the results so I carried out a 3rd test, this time placing the male much closer to the female than to the food. 

The result was the same. The male looked at the female, then at the food, then rushed to the bowl of food and devoured it. 
 
So, ladies and gentlemen, I can say with some confidence that hunger is a much stronger drive than sexual instincts in the male animal.  

Thank you.”
 
After the applause has died down, Morris stands up and  says aloud, “I have a question for you, mister lecturer. Have you tried doing the experiments with a different female ape?”

Why the look of surprise?

YES!!! That’s FAITH!!!

For a holiday, an Irishman decided to go to Switzerland to fulfill a lifelong dream and climb the Matterhorn.

He hired a guide, and just as they neared the top, the men were caught in a snow slide. Three hours later, a Saint Bernard plowed through to them, a keg of brandy tied under his chin.

“Hooray!” shouted the guide. “Here comes man’s best friend!” 

“Yeah,” said the Irishman. “An’ look at the size of the dog that’s bringin’ it!”

“I see you bought a new car. What’s the make?” 

“A Perndle.”

“I’ve never heard of a Perndle before.”

Me neither, but that’s what it says, right over the steering wheel: 

P-R-N-D-L.”

And that’s it for another exciting episode of Dragon Laffs my dear friends. Stay warm, stay safe and …

And here we are on Saturday … and here I am time traveling. For me, it’s Sunday … a week ago.  A for you, it’s Saturday, a week from now for me. 

But while you’re reading this, I’m participating in CPR class as part of my Security Duties for the church. I’m actually looking forward to it. This one will be put on by a civilian organization. Most of the ones I’ve had lately have all been military and I’m anxious to see if there’s any real differences.

Anyway, I’ve only got a little while to get this one started, so ….

Move backwards from the picture.

 

 

Hot Woman: [At the Bar] [Hot woman winks] So what’s a girl need to do to get a drink around here? 

Me: You just ask at the bar for one and then exchange it for money

[3 days later] 

Me: [tying my shoelaces] Hey, wait a second…

Does anyone remember a time when your body just worked? Like, just on its own, no pills, no scheduled exercise, no caffeine, no planned hydration, no stretching, no specific diet — you just woke up and bam! That stuff was good to go?
Yeah, me either.

Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don’t expect it from cheap people.

 

 

Over the weekend, my sister texted me this picture. She said she was cleaning out some papers and found it. That’s me on the left.  Aged 3 or 4 maybe? So… 1964ish.

 

 

Me too!

 

 

Yup … it is currently 4° with a windchill of -18°. It is CRAZY COLD outside. 

 

 

My wife said she had blisters on her hand from using the broom. 

I told her: “Next time take the car”. 

Joe’s wife is VERY understanding.

 

 

Oldie:

Today is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day and I’ve had the news on in the background and they’ve been playing some of his speeches and some documentary kind of stuff. Wonderful, powerful man. A man to be admired and emulated. I watch some of the peaceful marches he led with the hymns being sung and the smiles on the people’s faces.

And then they cut over to the “mostly peaceful” anti-ICE demonstrations in Minnesota and the differences are startling…appalling…and yet, most of these people — these demonstrators — would have us believe that they are acting in the same manner, the same vein as Dr. King acted. The same “mostly peaceful” demonstrations of the BLM movement that saw cities burning and lives lost.

The hypocrisy is overwhelming. 

Yes, we all have the right to protest. I think back to my youth and the teenage beatnik hippies of the 60’s protesting Vietnam by staging sit-ins and being drug off by police by refusing to move.   And this iconic photograph …

Here’s what Wikipedia has to say about the above photo:

The National Mobilization Committee to End the War in Vietnam‘s March on the Pentagon took place on October 21, 1967. When the antiwar demonstrators approached The Pentagon, they were confronted by a squad of soldiers from the 503rd Military Police Battalion (Airborne).^[1] The soldiers pointed their rifles, marched into the crowd and formed a semicircle around the demonstrators to prevent them from climbing the Pentagon steps. Bernie Boston, newspaper photographer for The Washington Evening Star (shortened to The Washington Star in later years), had been assigned by his editor to cover the demonstration.^[2] Boston was sitting on a wall at the mall entrance which allowed him to see the events unfold.^[3] In a 2005 interview he said, “When I saw the sea of demonstrators, I knew something had to happen. I saw the troops march down into the sea of people and I was ready for it.”^[4] A young man emerged from the crowd of demonstrators and started placing carnations into the barrels of their rifles.^[3] Boston captured the moment in what would become an iconic image and his signature photograph.^[3]

When Boston showed the photograph to his editor at the Star, “the editor didn’t see the importance” and the picture was run on a page deep inside the newspaper.^[3] It did not gain recognition until Boston entered it into photography competitions, which it won.^[3]

And one more picture…

These were the demonstrations that I remember seeing on TV when I was just a kid. I can still remember my father ranting about the “stupid kids”. But, they never raised their voices or broke things or set anything on fire (that I can recall). What changed? When did it change? When did protesting peacefully, turn into destroying, rioting, and tearing up other people’s things? When did we become animals over differing opinions? When did we think it was okay to try to stop legitimate law enforcement officers from carrying out their duties?

Why are they protecting gang bangers, drug pushers, murderers, rapists, human traffickers, rapists, devils and demons over legitimate law enforcement? It is so hard for me to imagine that many spiritually captured individuals. I just want to weep.

Aside over.

 

 

“Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.” 

– Gail Godwin (1937-)

A DESIGNER OF THE TITANIC WAS ON BOARD WHEN IT WENT DOWN. HIS ORIGINAL DESIGN HAD MORE LIFE BOATS, WATER TIGHT COMPARTMENTS, AND A DOUBLE HULL, BUT THEY WERE OVERRULED. HIS BODY WAS NEVER RECOVERED.

A magazine recently ran a “Dilbert quotes” contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real life managers. Here are the top 14 finalists:

1. As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks. (This was the winning quote from Fred Dales at Microsoft Corp In Redmond, WA.)

2. What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter. (Lykes Lines Shipping)

3. E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business. (Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)

4. This project is so important, we can’t let things that are more important interfere with it. (Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service) 

5. Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule. 

6. No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We’ve been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a month. (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)

7. My Boss spent the entire weekend retyping a 25-page proposal that only needed corrections. She claims the disk I gave her was damaged and she couldn’t edit it. The disk I gave her was write-protected. (CIO of Dell Computers)

8. Quote from the Boss: “Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say.” (Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation) 

9. My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she died so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her Burial to Friday. He said, “That would be better for me.” (Shipping executive, FTD Florists)

10. “We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees.” (Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)

11. We recently received a memo from senior management saying: “This is to inform you that a memo will be issued today regarding the subject mentioned above.” (Microsoft, Legal Affairs Division)

12. One day my Boss asked me to submit a status report to him concerning a project I was working on. I asked him if tomorrow would be soon enough. He said “If I wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow to ask for it!” (New business manager Hallmark Greeting Cards.)

13. As director of communications, I was asked to prepare a memo reviewing our company’s training programs and materials. In the body of the memo in one of the sentences I mentioned the “pedagogical approach” used by one of the training manuals. The day after I routed the memo to the executive committee, I was called into the HR director’s office, and told that the executive vice president wanted me out of the building by lunch. When I asked why, I was told that she wouldn’t stand for perverts (pedophilia?) working in her company. Finally, he showed me her copy of the memo, with her demand that I be fired – and the word “pedagogical” circled in red. The HR manager was fairly reasonable, and once he looked the word up in his dictionary and made a copy of the definition to send back to her, he told me not to worry. He would take care of it. Two days later, a memo to the entire staff came out directing us that no words which could not be found in the local Sunday newspaper could be used in company memos. A month later, I resigned. In accordance with company policy, I created my resignation memo by pasting words together from the Sunday paper. (Taco Bell Corporation) 

14. “Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity and I’m not sure about the former.” (Albert Einstein)

And that’s the end my friends. It’s been a rough week and I’m glad I got a chance to laugh putting this together because I really needed it. I hope you did too…got to laugh, not that you needed it like I did.  If you DID need it like I did, I hope it helped.

I just finished up  Monday’s episode and am jumping right into today’s.  As I explained in The Last Word of that one, I have a lot on my plate right now, so when I have an opportunity to get ahead, I’m going to take it. So, today is January 22nd, the day you are reading this, that is.  A quick glance at the calendar tells us that it is the Celebration of Life Day and National Blonde Brownie Day … so … yeah.

Celebration of Life Day seems like it’s about Children and being grateful for the life that we have and seems to have started out as a pro-life/anti-abortion celebration, but looking at their official website now, it looks like the left has moved in and that theme has disappeared.

Anyway, let’s move on to our theme for today … which is …

 

So, today’s theme is the same theme as the other day’s themes…lol! Let’s go!

 

 

Texting Codes for Seniors

ATD – At The Doctor’s
BFF – Best Friends Funeral
WTF – Where’s The Funeral?
BTW – Bring The Wheelchair
BYOC – Bring Your Own Carer
DWI – Driving While Incontinent
DOA – Demented On Arrival
VIP – Very Interesting Pills
DIAY – Did It At Yoga
GBH – Got Bad Hemorrhoids
GBF – Gopher’s Battery Flat
BHY – Broke Hip Yesterday
RIP – Rehab In Progress
LOL – Living On Laxatives
OMG – Oh My… Gas!
FBM – Fabulous Bowel Movement
WMN – What’s My Name?
WWITA – What Was I Texting About?

I know people like this.

 

 

Scientists have grown human vocal cords in a petri dish…

The results speak for themselves.

Me: Please bring me a screwdriver.  

Her: Flat head, Phillips, or Vodka?

And that’s when I knew she was THE one!

These days, I find myself a lot like my pants zipper.

Down most of the time and for no apparent reason.

 

 

Interfering with legitimate law enforcement officers….

 

 

When someone says, “You’ve changed,” it simply means you’ve stopped living your life their way.

Okay, I could see that in Florida, but DETROIT!?!?

 

 

Some people will never ask for your side of the story because the side they heard fits how they want to feel about you.

I feel when people say, “She’s really nice once you get to know her.” They might as well be saying, “She’s a bitch but you’ll get used to her.”

EXACTLY!  What in the world is WRONG with you people!!!!

 

 

A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone who knows you.

The person you think of as “yourself” exists only for you, and even you don’t really know who that is. Every person you meet, have a relationship with, or make eye contact on the street with, creates a version of “you” in their heads. Your not the same person  to your mom, your dad, your  siblings, than you are to your co-workers, your neighbors or your friends. There are a thousand different versions of yourself out there, in people’s minds. A “you” exists in each version, and yet your “you”, “yourself”, isn’t really a “someone” at all.

What an incredibly interesting concept … in some ways absolutely right, but in truth, 100% wrong. I AM ME. Your perception of ME, does not change who I am, it’s just your perception of me. I know who I am, and that can change, but it is still me…because me can change. Silly.

It could work…

 

Every time you are able to find some humor in a difficult situation, YOU WIN.

You just don’t see enough people being taken away in straight jackets anymore.

And that’s it.  Tomorrow I’ll work on Saturday’s but for now…

Well, it’s Saturday morning and I’m going to try and get a couple of issues ahead again over this nice, three-day weekend. 

It’s a three-day weekend?

Yeah it’s … whose birthday is it or what are we celebrating on Monday? Well, today, the day that you guys are getting this issue?  What is today?  Anybody?  Yeah, you in the back?

Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.

Martin Luther King, who had a dream, who believed in peaceful demonstrations to put his point across. Who led marches on Washington that brought attention to problems…and he was eventually assassinated for it. A man of God.

So very much different than the “peaceful demonstrations” that we have going on today.

Last night Izzy and I had a “spirited discussion” on what was going on up in Minnesota.  She, of course being the little sweetheart that she is and of the “why can’t we all just live together in love and socialist/communist happiness?” I have to grab her by the earlobe and pull her back over to common sense land and explain to her that the real people to blame for Renee Good’s death are the protestors. 

Her response, as you can well imagine was, “Huh?”

Look, the ICE agents are simply trying to do their job. Following the law. Nothing more, nothing less. The illegal aliens, whether they are gangbangers or “upstanding citizens” if they are here illegally, are breaking the law. Every one of them was given the opportunity to self-deport. They are now (and have been) breaking the law. They are criminals. And it is the JOB of the LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCIES to ENFORCE the LAWS. The protestors are interfering with said Law Enforcement Agents in carrying out their duties.

Now, two things. First, how would you like it if someone came to your workplace and kept you from doing your job? Everything from standing in front of you to driving a car at you to shooting at your to threatening your family, to burning down your house? Just for going to your job at Burger King or Walmart or the office or whatever? HOW WOULD THAT MAKE YOU FEEL? And then to have the rest of the world tell you that YOU were the ones who were wrong?

Secondly, everyone of those protestors, just by being there and interfering with those officers can be arrested and are subject to a year in prison. If they lay hands on one of those ICE officers … just touch them … ten years in prison. If they push or shove or strike them in any way, twenty years.

So, anyone who says that the ICE agents are being mean and harassing the protestors … let me tell you from even the minimal amount of Law Enforcement experience that I have, at some point in time, someone is going to cut the ICE agents loose and there is going to mass arrests of these protestors the likes of which no one has ever seen before. You are going to step in the way of an agent and you are going to get arrested, you are going to touch one and you are going to get arrested. You mark my words that they are very soon going to get tired of this hands-off approach.

They    Are    Doing    Their    Job.    It’s    The     Protestors    Who    Are    At    Fault!!!!

Okay, I’m off my rant, now …

 

Okay, not really laugh worthy at first, but Scott, you will be missed Sir!

Okay, now we can move on…

 

 

Wow!  Just … Wow!

 

 

One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance: leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos and pierced nose.

Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. 

“Dear,” said the mother diplomatically, “he doesn’t seem very nice.” 

“Oh please, Mom,” replied the daughter, “if he wasn’t nice, why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?

Actually, this is a depiction of Judges 4:21: I’ll give you the ESV version which reads easier than the KJV: But Jael the wife of Heber took a tent peg, and took a hammer in her hand. Then she went softly to him and drove the peg into his temple until it went down into the ground while he was lying fast asleep from weariness. So he died. Him being Sisera, the commander of the army of Jabin who was king of Canaan. Heber was supposed to be an ally but had separated himself and his family. Sisera was fleeing the army of the Lord. Here’s the preceding verse: 17 But Sisera fled away on foot to the tent of Joel, the wife of Heber the Kenite, for there was peace between Jabin the king of Hazor and the house of Heber the Kenite. 

18 And Jael came out to meet Sisera and said to him, “Turn aside, my lord; turn aside to me; do not be afraid.” So he turned aside to her into the tent, and she covered him with a rug.

19 And he said to her, “Please give me a little water to drink, for I am thirsty.” So she opened a skin of milk and gave him a drink and covered him.

20 And he said to her, “Stand at the opening of the tent, and any man comes and asks you, ‘Is anyone here?’ say, ‘No.'”

And then you know the rest. This loving woman allows him to fall asleep and drives a tent peg through his temple, fulfilling the will of the Lord. As soon as I saw this picture I knew what it was since I had just studied it in FBI (Faith Bible Institute). Neat, huh?

Now we have some memes of a theme thanks to Aussie Pete:

 

 

And this next one is really good…

 

Have you ever tried eating a clock?

It’s really time consuming, especially if you go for seconds.

 

 

DON’T get the order wrong!!!

 

 

OH COME ON! Leave Greenland the heck alone!!!

“Just cleared out some space in my freezer” sounds so much more productive than “I just polished off another pint of ice cream.”

I am retired in the sense that I was tired yesterday and today I am tired again.

“FACETIOUS”

is the only word in the English language that uses all of the vowels, in order.

Just     Ask!
If He doesn’t answer, stop and listen. If He still doesn’t answer, maybe the problem is YOU. What kind of a relationship do you have with Him? Come to Him in repentance and supplication. Get right with Him FIRST. Then ask again and see what happens.

 

 

So very, very sad.

 

 

Common Sense

is like deodorant.
The people who need it most never use it.

Why have so many people forgotten this?

 

 

The invention of the shovel was a ground breaking discovery.

But the invention of the broom was the one that truly swept the nation.

 

 

Reading the news lately, there seem to be a LOT of parents like that out there.

 

 

MUCH better than that stupid AI generated picture.

 

 

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary?

And on the Virgin Isles?

Same thing – not one canary there, either!

We are warned, strongly and deeply in Matthew 5:22 of the dangers of hell fire for calling someone Raca and/or fool. The idea behind “Raca” as “nitwit, blockhead, numbskull, bonehead, brainless idiot.” But, I think the above picture describes it most succinctly and precisely. 

 

  

What an appropriate typo.

 

 

The first time I used an elevator it was an uplifting experience.

But, the second time it let me down.

If it happens often enough that they have a word for it, then … 

I know, there are some of you out there who are thinking, maybe we ought to move to Finland.

 

 

No kidding! And they have the NERVE to say anything about January 6th.

 

 

I have no super powers.

So, I’m guessing I’m the villain. 

And that’s it my friends. That’s Monday’s issue in the bank and now I’ll start on Thursday’s next.  My days are back to being busy again. I have jail ministry on Monday evening, FBI on Tuesday evening, jail again on Wednesday, once a month is the UTA where I have to work the weekend, church every Sunday, and meetings on different nights of the week throughout the quarter depending.

Sigh.

I really ought to retire just so I  can spend more time working for God, but like my boss at work just told me the other day, he dreads the day I retire because there is no one ready to step up to take my place … but there really is … he just doesn’t know it and I won’t let him know until I’m ready for him to know, lol. 

Anyway, probably a year from now … or so.

But until then …