Legal Stuff

The Adult Material Warning:

Legal Disclaimer Professional Version 2.02
New and improved! Now with Windows ReadyBoost & Hyper-Litigation Technology for faster lawsuits.
Updated 2.02 version  for the overly anal grammatical fantasists
(copyright 2014 by Lethal Leprechaun all rights zealously reserved)The Lawyers, Doctors,  F.B.I. (or Big Brother, as they like to be known since the Patriot Act ), the F.C.C., an Indian Chief,and those voices and alternate personalities we can’t collect rent from in our heads made us put this here, hence the small print.)
1.) If You’re Under 18 and Reading This, Leave Now! Go spend the time learning to spell words properly and acquiring useful job skills besides the phrase, “You want fries with that?”!  You DO NOT have all the answers you think you do;  you don’t even know or understand half  the questions! Also pull up your pants, buy a belt, remove ALL the chromed shrapnel from your face, turn down that crap…I mean Rap music and show some respect for others! Don’t try to hand us that, “If It’s Too Loud, You’re Too Old” logic, as we INVENTED that phrase! IF you’re going to insist on driving a loud car with blaring base at Two AM in a residential area PLEASE do it while street racing as you tweet your exploits via text message. You’ll save the officers investigating your death a lot of time and us a murder charge while simultaneously giving both the cop & us something to smile about.
2.)  The information in this transmission is intended to be totally worthless and devoid of any benefit to anyone with the exception of, possibly, the intended recipient. If you received this communication in error or if you accidentally read it when it wasn’t addressed to you, please immediately delete all of your saved game files, email addresses, pornography, illegally downloaded music, and movies. Once you are finished,  energetically beat yourself about the head and shoulders with the recent technology publication of your choice (the thicker & more stiffly bound the better).  All other, more intelligent actions taken in response to this information are prohibited, so there.
3.)  Any guarantee(s) written, oral, implied, or otherwise represented in relation to this communication has/have either expired or was/were a total figment of your imagination/dementia, or drug induced fantasies and never having actually existed in the first place. There are NO guarantees in life you naive person!  The sooner you learn that, the faster we will stop laughing at your innocence and taking advantage of you!  You have absolutely NO recourse or remedy in this or any other state, with the exception of:  the delete button, unsubscribing (in which case you become the default target of all jokes needing a fall guy from that point on), and possibly the states of insanity, depravity, indifference,  and/or intoxication (please consult your doctor as mileage may vary between mental flossing).
4.) This e-mail is sent out with the intent of educating and entertaining the unwashed masses by making everyone laugh until they wet their pants! While we consider ourselves creative, we do not take credit for any jokes, quotes, or ideas unless so stated. No offense is meant or implied in any of our mailings, nor is any responsibility assumed for any damage to furniture or your computer system as a result of pants-wetting, spewing your drink while laughing, or for the pain caused by blowing soda or hot coffee out your nose while in hysterics over something you read.
5.) Any opinions or political views expressed herein are probably, for the most part, the product of the firmly held, incomprehensibly complex and utterly weird belief system of the Guest Rant/Parting Shot/ Last Word’s author. So, don’t try debating with us or changing our minds/views…you won’t because we’re more stubborn than a mule (particularly the Dragon).  HOWEVER, we DO reserve the right to change our position on any topic w/o prior notice and claim that it was our position all along (a.k.a  ‘A Woman’s Prerogative Clause’).
6.) Any errors in fact, thought, spelling or grammar occurred during transmission, and the authors in NO way admit to or accept responsibility for them UNLESS they can be construed as a humorous, in which case the were intentional and we knew it all along.
IF you are a gullible idiot or a liberal Democrat (but, I repeat myself) then they’re all George Bush’s fault.
7.) If you have actually read the same revision level of this in its entirety, in more than one of my e-mails, then Dr. Kevorkian called and wants you to come in immediately. You’re afflicted with the ID10T virus and need to be put out of our misery as soon as possible.
8.) Slainte! Eat, Drink & Be Merry, but ONLY to excess! It doesn’t matter if your glass is 1/2 full or 1/2 empty what matters you have twice as much glass as you currently need so fill it up! Preferably with coffee!
9.) SPAM YE NOT! ( Especially our private e-mail boxes and the Owners Inbox) Lest Ye Too Be Spammed and your Grey Poupon stolen by some guy in a $400,000 Rolls Royce Limo.

**PLEASE NOTE: Due to the FCC’s post Janet Jackson Super Bowl costume “accident” guidelines all material in this newsletter is on 5 sec brain delay
(3 minute delay for you blonde subscribers).  Length of the delay for Obamaites is indeterminate as it is SOLELY dependant on how soon Obama makes up his mind about any given issue. If the length of time he took to decide on committing more troops to the war on terror is any indication, we suggest you have your caskets outfitted with netbooks to finally receive your back issues.

 

The Copyright Warning:

Credits, Copyrights, Incorporation and the Remainder of the Lawyer Required (Hopefully Humorous) Crap

Copyright© 2010 by Impish Dragon and Lethal Leprechaun, L.P. as well as The Dragon Laffs Electronic Publications All Rights Reserved.

ALL broadcast, publication, retransmission to e-mail lists, posting to Web Sites or any other copying, reproduction or storage other than archival for personal use only, in any medium, online or not, is STRICTLY PROHIBITED without prior written permission from the authors.

MANUALLY FORWARDING by e-mail to friends is allowed IF:  1) the e-mail notce of a new blog posting is forwarded IN ITS ENTIRETY, from the “Dragon Laffs Header” line on top through the end of this paragraph (or perhaps with minor deletions for taste and sensitivities of the receiving audience),

2) NO FEE is charged, and 3) You do not employ undocumented illegal aliens or outsource the work outside the USA to accomplish the task.  We request that you forward no more than three copies to any one person. After that, they should be encouraged to get their own FREE subscription.

To follow us- simply click the sign up/follow button on the homepage Once you are registered you’ll get an e-mail notifying you of every time we post

We ALWAYS greatly appreciate people who report infringement of our copyright to us. Plagiarism &/or copyright violations may result in being subjected to any and all/or of the following remedies: repeated malicious practical jokes at your expense, possibly (probably) being featured prominently in the e-zine, multiple drive-by cream-pie-in-the-face attacks, or being challenged to a duel with loaded skunks at 20 paces (well, at least OURS will be loaded). That’s not including the pain and suffering our humorless cyber lawyer minions (who once worked for Microsoft and were fired for being too blood sucking and evil) are sure to inflict. Then, there is having your credit rating destroyed and being bankrupted by the Leprechaun followed by being roasted alive and then eaten by the Dragon afterward.

As we have stated in our Legal Disclaimer PRO version (paragraph 3) we, by no means, attempt copyright of the material sent to us by others. We do, however, hold true copyright and ownership to the form and conceptual layout of the e-zine including, but not limited to, all graphics and the Legal Disclaimers, both PRO & LITE versions as well as this actual copyright notice. Please send any questions in regard to this notice or broadcast/reuse permissions to the owner of Dragon Laffs at: DragonLaffs-owner@yahoogroups.com

9 Responses to Legal Stuff

  1. ashley says:

    I just want to know if i could have permission to use one of quotes for a hoodie for my friend who is in the coast guard i found it funny and thought it would make a nice hoodie for an xmas present please let me know ps i have no intentions of selling the quote just using it for my friend

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      Ashley-
      Thank you for asking. Please check you Gmail as I have replied directly to you concerning this

  2. The Unknown Commenter says:

    I love the efforts you have put in this, thank you for all the great posts.

  3. michael kors boston says:

    thank you for share!

  4. Carin says:

    Great blog you have here.. It’s difficult to find good quality writing like yours nowadays. I seriously appreciate individuals like you! Take care!!

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      Sadly good comedic satire &/or sarcasm is pretty much a lost art but I do what I cna.
      Thanks for commenting

  5. Bernadette Lifts the her Spam can at us says:

    I very happy to find this internet site on bing, just what I was looking for : D also saved to fav.

    Lethal here~

    Thanks for the kind words. No thank you to the spam.
    If you are going to keep trying that crap don’t bother bookmarking us we can do w/o you.

    Lethal (Spam me only in breakfast burritos with eggs and potatoes please) Leprechaun

  6. tall kids uggs Chop Suey Spam says:

    You created some great factors there. I think most individuals will agree together with your site.

    Lethal here- Wow our first Mainland China Spam! DragonLaffs is really getting international exposure finally.
    Too bad this wasn’t Spam egg rolls or Udong Noodle Soup with Spam and Scallions those might have been appreciated.

    As for you Chairman DOH!, go fry lice and peddle you knockoffs and inferior products elsewhere. You MIGHT hold all of the US banknotes but you do NOT hold the one on DragonLaffs and NEVER will. We buy and patronize AMERICAN.

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