Not sure that I have much to say at the beginning of this one, so I’ll just jump right in and start with the laughs. My mind is just not working on all cylinders right now, so maybe I’ll have more to say as we go along. So … 

Our dear sister Lynn sent us a bunch of Navy memes so let’s do those first…

And the Air Force says … we can still get there faster.

Poetry from Joe NJ

Poetry for Seniors …

Another year has passed,
And we’re a little older.
Last summer felt hotter,
And winter seems colder.

There was a time not long ago,
When life was quite a blast.
Now I fully understand,
About ‘Living in the Past’

We used to go to weddings,
Football games and lunches…
Now we go to funeral homes,
And after-funeral brunches.

We used to go out dining,
And couldn’t get our fill.
Now we ask for doggie bags,
Come home and take a pill.

We used to often travel,
To places near and far.
Now we get sore asses,
From riding in the car.  

We used to go to nightclubs,
And drink a little booze.
Now we stay home at night,
And watch the evening news.

That, my friend is how life is,
And now my tale is told.
So, enjoy each day and live it up…
Before you’re too damned old!

And Lynn also sent us some on the Marines!  Let’s go!

I completed my puzzle lots faster than my husband did.

I want this lamp!!!

How do you know the ocean is friendly?

It waves

This poor guy must be having one heck of a bad day!

PASSENGER FLIGHT FROM NY TO LA.
A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the pilot made an announnncement over the intercom.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. 

Welcome to Flight No. 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now, just sit back and relax.”

Then he quickly yells out loud – “OH MY GOD!”

Dead silence followed.

After a few minutes, the pilot comes back on the intercom and says, “Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was speaking, the flight attendant brought me a cup of hot coffee and spilled it all over my lap. You should see the front of my pants!”

A passenger in Coach shouts back, “That’s nothing, you should see the back of mine!”

I would like to point out, that the earth hasn’t been around that long (read your Bible) (carbon dating has been proven to be false and unreliable after a certain age and having read articles where the scientist try to debunk creationist who disprove it, they sound ridiculous) 

Hmm, I don’t know where it puts me on the pickiness scale, but I got a 26 out of 63 or 41%.  So, that’s less than half, so I think I’m doing okay.

This one is from Lynn and she writes:

[Counting my claws…] Wait a darn minute!

Q. How do you know when you honeymoon is over?

A. When he no longer smiles as he scrapes the burnt toast.

Hardest thing to do sometimes is forgiveness.

A city slicker shoots a duck out in the country. 

As he’s retrieving it, a farmer walks up and stops him, claiming that since the duck is on his farm, it’s technically belongs to him. 

After minutes of arguing, the farmer proposes they settle the matter “country style.” 

“What’s country style?” asks the city boy.

“Out here in the country”, the farmer says, “when two fellers have a dispute, one feller kicks the other one in the balls as hard as he can. 

Then that feller, why ,he kicks the first one as hard as he can. And so forth. The last man standing wins the dispute.”

Warily the city boy agrees and prepares himself. The farmer hauls off and kicks  him in the balls with all his might. 

The city boy falls to the ground in the most intense pain he’s ever felt, crying like a baby and coughing up blood. 

Finally he staggers to his feet and says,”All right, n-now it’s m-my turn.”

The farmer grins. “Aw hell, you win. Keep the duck.” 

A farmer purchased an old, run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields were grown over with weeds, the farmhouse was falling apart, and the fences were broken down. 
 
During his first day of work, the town preacher stops by to bless the man’s work, saying, “May you and God work together to make this the farm of your dreams!”  
 
A few months later, the preacher stops by again to call on the farmer. Lo and behold, it’s a completely different place.  The farm house is completely rebuilt and in excellent condition, there is plenty of cattle and other livestock happily munching on feed in well-fenced pens, and the fields are filled with crops planted in neat rows. 

 “Amazing!” the preacher says. “Look what God and you have accomplished together!”
 
“Yes, reverend,” says the farmer, “but remember what the farm was like when God was working it alone!”

A new miracle doctor was in town. He could cure anything and anybody, and everyone was amazed with what he can do. Everyone except for Mr. Smith, the town grouch. 

So Mr. Smith went to this ‘miracle doctor’ to prove that he wasn’t anybody special. So he goes and tells the doctor, “Hey, doc, I have lost my sense of taste. I can’t taste nothin’, so what are ya goin to do?” 

The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little, then tells Mr. Smith, “What you need is jar number 43.” 

Jar number 43? Mr. Smith wonders.

So the doctor brings the jar and tells Mr. Smith to taste it.

He tastes it and immediately spits it out, “This is gross!” he yells. 

“I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Smith,” says the doctor. So Mr. Smith goes home very mad. 

One month later, Mr. Smith goes back to the doctor along with a new problem, “Doc,” he starts, “I can’t remember!” 

Thinking he got the doctor, the doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little and tells Mr. Smith, “What you need is jar number 43…” 

Before the doctor finished his sentence, Mr. Smith fled the town. 

And that’s it my friends.  Today, is Friday and I’m working all weekend, so I’m going to bail from this one and jump right into the next one so as to try … keyword being “try” … to get far enough ahead that, like the magician’s slight of hand, you guys don’t even realize that anything untoward has taken place. So, without further ado, until next time …