Two-thousand, five-hundred episodes of Dragon Laffs.
I should retire right there.
Take a bow…exit stage right.
But you know I’m not going to.
We’re gonna build on that! Gonna keep going! But, man! What a milestone. A quarter of a million. Nice. And it’s all been because of you guys. You did it. All I do is collect the stuff that you guys submit. Add my two-cents in here and there. Speaking of two-cents … are we going to have to change that saying now that we don’t do cents anymore? “I just added my nickel in…” Doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it? “Just added my two-bits” my work because nobody knows what a “bit” is.
I know…it’s a one or a zero in binary language. That’s not the kind of “bit” we’re talking about here! Knock it off!
Here’s Google AI’s explanation: The phrase “two bits” originates from colonial American history and the use of the Spanish dollar, or “piece of eight,” which was divided into eight smaller units called reales. Because each single real was worth one-eighth of the coin, two pieces equaled a quarter of a dollar, giving us the enduring slang term for 25 cents. Most users on Quora agree that this physical cutting of coins to make change drove the widespread adoption of the term.
It also says that they actually used to take chisels and cut them into pieces. So, yeah, putting in my two-bits won’t work either since that’s a derogatory term for something that’s worthless. But, then again, most peoples opinion is as well, so there’s that.
Anyway, 2500 episodes, issues (yeah, I have AT LEAST 2500 issues! [insert rimshot here!]) Thank you all so very much for your kind patronage. May we all have another 2500 in front of us. Let’s see, we just celebrated 20 years in June, so another 2500 is roughly another 20 years … we got this!
To another 2500 and another 20 years!
Not that we would EVER advocate for something like that … but if anyone out there tries this at home, I know a dragon or three who would LOVE to know the results. Ummm, asking for a friend.
ALL THE TIME!!!
THAT’S the kind of attitude I need to foster!
I have no idea why the job interview went poorly.
This is WAY cool!
Such a sad picture…
Adorable!
It’s not bad, it’s terrible! Izzy showed me an example from an AI lesson plan from Kentucky where the periodic table didn’t have a single solidary element correct and a map of the United States where most, if not all of the states were spelled incorrectly. When are we going to realize that we are selling ourselves downstream to incompetent convenience!
And that’s it my friends. Another one in the box and ready to go. I’m going to try to put another one together before the Air Show, so one more push for donations, although at this point, I’m pretty sure we’re done. But, I’ll put it out there. Go to dragonlaffs.com in the upper right hand column and hit the donate button. Or write to me at impishdragon@dragonlaffs.com and we can talk about snail mail or any other ways to donate that you might think of. So, until next time.
So, it’s now 12 hours later than I started the last Dragon Laffs. And I’m trying to get Monday’s episode set up for you guys since I have a full weekend set up for Holly and I since it will be the last weekend prior to hell week starting.
No, it’s not like that at all!
Late this morning to this afternoon we are going to volunteer at a church that she helps at with a giveaway that they do once a month. They have a big basement area so they take in donations and stuff and once a month they open the doors and give stuff away to people who need it. Kind of like Goodwill but without the money and without the controversy.
As you can imagine, from what I’m told, there are people who try to take advantage of it. It’s supposed to be for the people who NEED it and yet they have people who take an item and resell it on eBay. It’s supposed one or two items from certain rooms per family and people try to take advantage of that as well. It’s mostly run by sweet, little old ladies so they were pretty happy when an ancient blue dragon volunteered to help.
Then this evening, my church is hosting the Scally Brothers for a night of singing and worshiping at the local high school auditorium. I’ll see if I can’t find a YouTube clip. We had them last year for a teen thing and they went over really well.
Tomorrow, Sunday, is a special church service at a quarry with her church and then she has tickets for a concert in Wabash Sunday night that I don’t know about that were given to her by friends who can’t make it and don’t want to see the tickets go to waste.
I haven’t been this busy with non-work, fun stuff in a long time. Wish me well my friends.
Now…
I should really go through and hunt through the hundreds, if not thousands of meme files I have and collect all the interspersed “I’ll bet he’s thinking about other women” memes and run them all in a row!
Seems like I already ran this one, but I’m going to run it again with possibly the same caveat as before … Women pay attention! Don’t settle for less than you are worth…and don’t value yourself lower than you are.
One of my all time favorites.
“Don’t piss off old people.
The older we get the less life in jail is
a deterrent”.
And that’s it. I made it. Whew! Welcome to Monday, welcome to hell week. Wish me luck to get to the other side! Hope to see you on Thursday, but I guess we’ll see then. Still a little time left to contribute, if you are of such a mind. August is almost over. Until next time, my love to you all. Peace and happiness to each of you until then.
Okay, here’s the deal. As the air show gets closer and closer I have less and less time. Today is Friday and it’s already after 8 at night and this episode is due at the press in like 4 hours…AND I’M JUST GETTING STARTED ON IT!!!
Plus, there’s another one due on Monday and my entire weekend is already full! And next week is going to be the week before the air show … in other words … the week of pure hell. Then next Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, it’s going to be 14 hour days each day…so I guess what I’m saying is … I’m gonna try folks, but support your local dragon and understand.
I know, it sucks I’ve been asking for money and now apologizing for now being there for you guys, but … well … that’s life sometimes. Maybe I ought to go into politics.
Got another name to add to the list! (Speaking of donations) so let’s run the names and then get into it, shall we?
Lynn T. David L. Joseph H. Dan T. Leonard R. Sasquatch William E. Scott H. Joe Kenneth R. Col. Robert B. Ted H. Jonathon J. Sammye Leah H. Donald G. Michael F. Steve H. Pop Smith Henry S.
Words cannot express the gratitude. Truly.
Now, on to the good stuff.
A FACT…sent in by Joe:
An item is never really lost until your wife can’t find it!
On his deathbed, surrounded by his weeping family, an elderly man reached up with a trembling hand and gently rubbed his smooth, completely hairless scalp.
“My children,” he whispered weakly, “my own hair is gone forever, but you must promise me one thing. Whenever a tree is cut down or falls in the forest nearby, you must plant a new one in its place. We must protect those woods so the land never becomes as bare as my head.”
Bound by love and duty, his children swore to honor his dying wish. Decade after decade passed, turning into centuries, as generations of his descendants diligently planted sapling after sapling, keeping the canopy thick, vibrant, and lush.
All thanks to one visionary man and his re-seeding heirline.
How the heck did he know!?!?
Okay, I got close. But that’s all I got time for. I still have homework to do. So, until Monday my dear friends.
There’s still time if you want to donate to this year’s fund…although things have slowed WAY down … so I don’t know if we’ll have any more last minute contributions.
Today is Sunday. The first day of the week. The Lord’s day. Spent the morning at church and the afternoon mowing the lawn before the next batch of rain starts up. Even after a day of sunshine the grass was still so moist it still clogged the mower several times. Great fun.
Holly came to church with me today and brought her friend with her who has a service dog and the biggest hit was … you guessed it. The dog. Loves kids and the kids loved on him. Very gentle. Great fun.
Izzy helped me with the lawn and then wanted a “reward” afterward. I said, what kind of a reward. So after mowing the lawn we went to Walgreens to buy nail polish. Now, I’m really worn out. Great fun.
If you hadn’t caught on yet, each of those paragraph ending “great funs” weren’t really much fun. (I really gotta find that sarcasm font. I can’t remember where I left it!)
Anyway, speaking of great fun, let’s have some real fun and rally up our contributors for this year. We have a new one since yesterday.
Lynn T. David L. Joseph H. Dan T. Leonard R. Sasquatch William E. Scott H. Joe Kenn R. Ted H. Jonathon J. Sammye Leah H. Donald G. Michael F. Steve H. Pop Smith Henry S.
Thank you all so very much for your extreme generosity. You have no idea how much this means to me. It truly shows that what I do means something to at least 19 of you…and I’m sure many more of you as well. Thank you.
Wow! That really DID hurt.
Yeah, I get it!
No kidding! And we were warned about this … yes we were! In a book. A very old book. Look it up yourselves!
I agree wholeheartedly.
Absolutely Perfect! And all you men and women out there … Don’t you EVER forget it! And don’t EVER settle for less!!!
And that’s it my friends. And I am completely out of time and I still have to do my homework for FBI. So, a quick plug for donations and I’m out of here. Thank you for all the love sent my way and I send it back to you in spades! Until next time…
As you can see from the above picture, as of this morning, Saturday, it is still raining in Indiana. The flooding is unprecedented. My son, the Whelpling has now been without power for well over 24 hours going on 36. He and the his dear wife and the grandkids are okay for now, but he is getting like zero sleep and it’s taking a toll on him. Anderson, Indiana, where they live is one of the hardest hit areas. Not THE hardest hit, but one of the hardest hit.
And it’s currently still raining.
Let’s give a shout out to our contributors so far. This time we’ll start at the other end of the list. I didn’t get any corrections from my last list so I’m assuming (and we all know what that word means!) that I didn’t miss anyone, so here we go. All donations from 2026:
David L. * * * Joseph H. * * * Dan T. * * * Leonard R. * * * Sasquatch * * * William E. * * * Scott H. * * * Joe * * * Kenn R. * * * Ted H. * * * Jonathon J. * * * Sammye * * * Leah H. * * * Donald G. * * * Michael F. * * * Steve H. * * * Pop Smith * * * Henry S.
I started FBI back up again on Thursday! No, not That FBI, or even Fat Boys In-charge … Faith Bible Institute. My second to the last semester. Starting my last year. What a fantastic Bible Study this has been. I am learning SO MUCH! I’m sure you guys will get the benefit of some of this as the year goes by.
So…let’s get this bus on the road!
Fifth…maybe even sixth…
I honestly thought, for the first split second, that that was the head of a dog lying there until I saw the vent cover.
Okay, let’s see if I can do this. Here are three links, all Facebook links, to three really cool videos sent in by Stephanie. All very short and all well worth watching.
Outdoor Barbecuing It’s the only type of cooking a “real” man will do.
When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain of events is put into motion.
1. The woman goes to the store.
2. The woman fixes the salad, vegetables and dessert.
3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils, and takes it to the man, who is lounging beside the grill, drinking a beer.
4. The man places the meat on the grill.
5. The woman goes inside to set the table and check the vegetables.
6. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.
7. The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman. (insert smug expression and “isn’t that steak a beaut!”)
8. The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table.
9. After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
10. The mans ask the woman how she enjoyed “her night off”. And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women.
And that’s where, if the woman is worth her salt, she has struck the man with a frying pan in the back of the head and is already planning on how to hide the body.
Sadly, some out there won’t get this one.
I don’t know…I could probably still hit one at 100 yds, but I’m a bit out of practice. But, I’m also talking M-16, iron sights.
The following is a direct quote from the Center for Strategic and International Studies report on “Global Organized Crime.”
The author who introduced the story swears it’s true.
FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital in San Diego that was under investigation for medical insurance fraud.
After hours of reviewing thousands of medical records, the dozens of agents had worked up quite an appetite.
The agent in charge of the investigation called a nearby pizza parlor with delivery service to order a quick dinner for his colleagues.
The following telephone conversation took place and was recorded by the FBI because they were taping all conversations at the hospital.
Agent: Hello. I would like to order 19 large pizzas and 67 cans of soda.
Pizza Man: And where would you like them delivered?
Agent: We’re over at the psychiatric hospital.
Pizza Man: The psychiatric hospital?
Agent: That’s right. I’m a FBI agent.
Pizza Man: You’re a FBI agent?
Agent: That’s correct. Just about everybody here is.
Pizza Man: And you’re at the psychiatric hospital?
Agent: That’s correct. And make sure you don’t go through the front doors. We have them locked. You will have to go around to the back to the service entrance to deliver the pizzas.
Pizza Man: And you say you’re all FBI agents?
Agent: That’s right. How soon can you have them here?
Pizza Man: And everyone at the psychiatric hospital is a FBI agent?
Agent: That’s right. We’ve been here all day and we’re starving.
Pizza Man: How are you going to pay for all of this?
Agent: I have my checkbook right here.
Pizza Man: And you’re all FBI agents?
Agent: That’s right. Everyone here is a FBI agent. Can you remember to bring the pizzas and sodas to the service entrance in the rear? We have the front doors locked.
Pizza Man: I don’t think so.
CLICK.
What a GREAT attitude!
Okay, if you don’t watch any other one, watch this one. This one amazed me to no end. I had no idea any of these songs were banned!!!
STOP THE PRESSES!!
Just found out that The Whelpling, my lovely daughter-in-law, and my four wonderful grandkidlets have power back after 35 hours of being in the dark!
Praise be to God! Thank you, Father!
And thank you, Anderson City Utilities!
A sixteen year-old boy came home with a brand new Ford F150.
His parents look at the truck and ask, “Where did you get that truck?!”
“I bought it today,” he says. “With what money?” says his mother. They knew what a new F150 cost.
“Well,” he says, “this one cost me just fifteen dollars.”
The father looks at him like he’s crazy. “Who would sell a truck like that for fifteen dollars?” he says.
“It was the lady up the street,” says the boy. “I don’t know her name – they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy her F150 for fifteen dollars.”
“Oh my Goodness!” says the mother. “Maybe she’s mentally ill or has Alzheimer’s something. John, you better go see what’s going on.”
So the boy’s father walks up the street to the house where the lady lives and finds her out in the yard calmly planting flowers. He introduces himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a new Ford F150 truck for fifteen dollars and asks to know why she did it.
“Well,” she says, “two days ago my husband left on a business trip. Yesterday I got a phone call from his boss and found out that he really ran off to Hawaii with his secretary and doesn’t intend to come back.”
“Oh, my goodness, I’m so sorry,” the father says. “But what does that have to do with my son and your truck?”
“Well, this morning he called and told me he was stranded because he got robbed of his wallet with all his credit cards and cash. He told me to sell his new F150 and send him the money. So I did.”
It was during a routine Sunday visit that I finally let my paranoia spill over. I’d spent twenty minutes ranting to my dad about the modern panopticon we live in—how social media apps serve up ads for things I only thought about buying, how smart speakers are constantly buffering our private conversations, and how every smart appliance in the house feels like an informant for a tech megacorporation.
My dad listened silently, leaning back in his worn leather recliner. When I finally ran out of steam, he killed the volume on the television and gestured with two fingers for me to pull my chair closer. He folded his arms, wore a look of deep, conspiratorial gravity, and lowered his voice to a low, gravelly whisper that made the living room feel like a safehouse.
“Son,” he said, scanning the corners of the ceiling for hidden lenses, “if you think the smart TV analyzing your habits, the smartphone tracking your every footstep, and the microwave secretly eavesdropping on us is bad… you’re barely touching the surface. That’s just amateur hour.”
He leaned in so close I could smell the stale coffee on his breath, his eyes wide with a terrifying, deadpan intensity.
“Our vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on us for years.”
Now, I made a little side trip on the way to get Izzy from work this afternoon. A couple of things before I show you these pictures.
1. Our area was not the hardest hit by FAR in the flooding. 2. There is a little bitty creek that runs near here, I’ll include a map view of that as well. 3. I have never even seen puddles on the road near hear even after the heaviest of rain.
Okay, first is the map.
Now, that orange part of the road is the map program showing that the road is currently closed. The first picture is looking from the right hand … eastern side of the road, looking west.
The rest of these pictures are all from that intersection there at 400/500. And remember, we were one of the easier areas hit.
Where those telephone poles are is a road…or there used to be.
Anyway, that’s it for this one my friends. More rain in the forecast for tomorrow. I can hardly wait. I tried to order wood to build an ark at work the other day, and it wasn’t even gopher wood! and it still went backorder! I’m tellin’ ya there ain’t no justice!
Until next time. Be well, be loved and may God bless you all.
Dragon Laffs 