Dragon Laffs #2044

Just Willow and me hanging out outside the cavern.  She’s been such a good girl lately.  Been my friend, keeping me company. 

I’ve got a couple of quick things to bring up.  Tom H. brought up a mistake I made in the last issue.  Great Value is a Walmart brand, not a Kroger brand.  I besmirched Kroger when I should have been Besmirching Walmart.  Thanks for pointing that out, Tom.  My humblest apologies to Kroger. Mea Culpa. (Not sure I spelled that right) 

Jerry M. said thanks for the posts making life more tolerable.  Agreed Jerry.  That’s why we’re all here.  Helping each other keep our heads above water and laughing a little about it.  Fighting the world’s bullshit with laughter.  Says so in the masthead somewhere. 

It’s you guys that make my life more tolerable.  I appreciate each and everyone of you. 

I got an email with the subject line of “.Lucrative Investment.”  It went directly into my Junk Folder.  I can’t understand why.  It looks like a good opportunity for me.  It’s from a Henry Markson who says he is an Investment Analyst and his email is hmarksn11@gmail.com, gee, that sounds like a legitimate company email, right?  Anyway, he says:

Hello, now that’s a nice professional opening, right?

I want to notify you of our client’s interest in investing in your company as a SILENT/ANGEL INVESTOR. Not sure who his “client” is, but of all the Angels I’ve met, none of them have been silent nor willing to invest in anything.  So, I’m kind of curious.  Especially since he doesn’t even seem to know what the name of my company is.

Please, if you wish to proceed, get back to me as soon as possible for contact details and further proceedings.   I wonder what the further proceedings entail?  I would bet that I would only have to send him my bank information or a small down payment to get started.

Best Regards,  Does anyone ever send Worst Regards?

Henry Markson
Investment Analyst

I don’t know…what do you guys think?  I sure could use the money right now…If Lethal Leprechaun were still around, I’d get his crack legal team on it.  Man I miss him.  Too soon gone. 

Okay, so on that happy note, let’s get on with the regular comedic stuff that you are all looking forward to.  I think I’ve poked enough fun at this piece of spam.

Originally, Wrigley’s was a soap company that included baking powder as a gift with the purchase of their soap.  They switched to selling baking powder when it became more popular than the soap, and included a pack of gum as a gift.  When the gum became more popular than the baking powder, the company changed again and started selling gum.

Life could be worse…

…Milk could have pulp.

The Black Eyed Peas can sing us a tune, but the chick peas can only hummus one.

This is one of our corporate spies.  Notice the camouflage.  He is extremely good at his job.  

If you go out drinking and call off work the next day…I’m here to let you know
YOU ARE SOFT!
My generation showed up for work in the same clothes we had on the night before, still wearing the wristband or hand stamp!

Question for the Day:

You see me Once in JUNE,
Twice in NOVEMBER,
And not at all in MAY.
What am I?

Answer for the day:

The letter E

The “Clinging Vine”

I have SERIOUS questions!

Counseling might help.  Perhaps Group Therapy.

The problem with stealing quotes off the internet is you never know if they are genuine. ~ Abraham Lincoln

Working at an Air Force Base for a living, you have no idea how many times I still hear this one from otherwise upstanding and somewhat intelligent people.  It boggles the mind.

Here’s a comment/mail from Tommy V that I want to share with the rest of you guys.

TOMMY V

29 minutes ago

Dragon Laffs #2043

I have a home that has been haunted since before I bought it . I bought it in 1971. The young lady had left my house and went next door until my wife passed away in 2014. I still miss my wife very much. It will never get better but it will ease enough for you to live. I also lost a grand son Sunday night. that hurts also .

Tommy, first let me say how terribly sorry I am for the passing of your grandson on Sunday and the passing of your wife in 2014.  It is always too soon and it’s so very, very hard being the ones left here.  My heart and my prayers go out to you.

If I understand you correctly, your house is haunted by a young lady, who moved next door to haunt them until your wife passed away and then moved back?  Did I get that right? 

I’m sure we could start a whole sub-thread on here about hauntings and people’s experiences with them.  It’s more common then people think and a lot of them are just mundane hauntings.  It’s just the spectacular ones that get all  the press.

Stephanie sent this next one in and said she knew 3…

I knew 7 and remembered seeing 3 more.

When I was a very small child, my mom used to bury coins in my sandbox, leave huge boot prints in the sand, and tell me pirates had come in the night and buried treasure.  I would be out there happily for hours, with my little sieve, and my mom got a quiet morning to herself for the price of a handful of pennies. 

I was always kind of skeptical about Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy, because visiting every kid in the world did not seem reasonable.  But the pirates only visited me, so they were probably real. 

So, that’s the story of how I ended up being an archaeologist.  How did you become what you are?

Them:  Can we contact your previous employer to make sure you’re a good fit?  

Me:  Sure!  As long as I can ask your previous employees why they quit.

Man!  Why did I never think of that?

John S. sent me this next one in the form of a video that I can’t forward to you guys, so I’m translating it to you like this, (Thanks John)

Okay, so this rather brilliantly cuts through all the political double speak we get.  It puts it into a much better perspective:

Lesson #1

U.S. Tax Revenue: $2,170,000,000,000
Federal Budget:  $3,820,000,000,000
New Debt:  $1,650,000,000,000
National Debt:  $29,271,000,000,000
Recent Budget Cuts:  $38,500,000,000

So, now let’s remove 8 zeros each time and pretend it’s a household budget

Annual Family Income:  $21,700
Money the Family Spent:  $38, 200
New Debt on Credit Cards:  $16,500
Outstanding Balance on Credit Cards:  $292,710
Total Household Budget Cuts:  $385

Does that make more sense to you?

Lesson #2

Here’s another way to look at the debt ceiling: 

Let’s say you come home from work and find that there’s been a sewer backup in your neighborhood and your home has sewage all the way up to your ceilings. 

What do you think you should do?  Raise the ceilings, or pump out the crap? 

Your choice is coming, November 2022!

Thanks again, John.

Yes! It absolutely does!

I got this from Lynn…and I deeply appreciate it.

Sooooo…Happiness is copyrighted????

A girl at Starbucks complimented my lip-gloss.  I didn’t have the heart to tell her it was grease from the rotisserie chicken I just ate in the parking lot.

Bars need to do a “Sad Hour” with even cheaper drinks and everyone just acts cool if you cry a little.

Okay, hear me out…
A Reality Show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest paid employee’s salary for a month.

And I agree with Stephanie who said we should make it six months!

And that’s it for another one my dear camper friends and family.  Love and happiness to you, one and all.

Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Dragon Laffs #2043

So, since we’ve talked last, I’ve had my first post-op visit to the surgeon’s office.  I’ve had my first out-patient visit to the physical therapist.  I’ve had my second Grief Group visit since my surgery.  And reading that it sounds like I’m a busy boy.  And I suppose in some respects I am, but in others I’m really not.  I feel like I’m neglecting stuff for not being at work.  And I almost feel like I’m hiding out at home.  I do need to get out more.  And not just going to an appointment.  I hope we have darts tournament soon.  That would be a good thing to get out for. 

But, I need to get out for something. 

So,  I guess that’s my goal for the upcoming week. 

But, for now, since it’s already so late (Wednesday evening) let’s go ahead and get THIS ISSUE working and worry about other issues for later., shall we?

It is so hot outside I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.

I miss the old days when billionaires vanity projects were to build public libraries, museums and music venues.

I have always licked my knife when I’ve finished.  This gets some very shocked looks from the other surgeons.

I can’t possibly be the only one who thinks this is crazy?  Kroger, you are really disappointing me here.  And why Swirled red velvet and cheesecake flavored?  Can someone explain THAT ONE?

“Marco!”

“Polo!”

Self-made?

This one again is from Stephanie (of course) and the only thing I’m going to say about it is the same thing that our dear Stephanie said about it, “And the idiots that design this crap are wealthy.” https://www.facebook.com/groups/1156193134887179/permalink/1377317792774711/?sfnsn=mo&ref=share

Thanks Steph.  Enjoy!

Works for me…NOT!

 

People with siblings have better survival skills because they’ve had experience in physical combat, psychological warfare, and sensing suspicious activity.

She loves this picture.  LOL!

I can’t believe it’s monkeypox season already.  I still have my Ukraine decorations up.

And you thought you knew the real story of Cinderella?

According to the sender, this chair once belonged to Vincent Price.

I have a pet manatee named Hugh.  I built him a house.  It’s a habitat for Hugh manatee.

That’s just friggin’ weird…

I just bought a crappy car that was made in Prague. 

The Czech engine light keeps coming on.

A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong. She’s failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her, and her best friend is moving away.

Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would like a snack. The daughter says, “Absolutely Mom, I love your cake.”

“Here, have some cooking oil,” her Mother offers.

“Yuck” says her daughter.

“How about a couple raw eggs?”

“Gross, Mom!”

“Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?”

“Mom, those are all yucky!”

To which the mother replies, “Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves, but when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake!

God works the same way. Many times, we wonder why He would let us go through such bad and difficult times, but God knows that when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for good! We just have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful!

Hope your day is a “piece of cake!”

Sure…why not?

This is just a friendly reminder:  The planet earth is a dense molten core encased in a layer of solids and therefore is, technically speaking, a ravioli.

I put my scale in the bathroom corner and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

I’m not saying I’m old and worn out, but I make sure I’m nowhere near the curb on trash day.

Hey, that was my nickname.

Let’s do some mail, that’s always a lot of fun!

Marsha Mastrangelo

a day ago

Dragon Laffs #2042

I cant believe it….2 houses built in 1900 still standing… mine needs work, promise and a prayer…but standing. Built before levels were invented. Did not get electric in it till 1952… still only has wood stove for heat. But I love it…

Mine’s doing pretty good.  If I had to make a list, I’d say water heater and fence are two top things I’m concerned with…that and the friggin’ jungle that’s growing out back.  Not sure what to do about that.  I’m thinking either napalm or agent orange.

Leah D

a day ago

Dragon Laffs #2042

By any chance, do you have a tree close enough to your house that the branches can rub against it? That has caused me a loss of sleep many times, because guests staying here get scared.

Yeah, there are branches that scrape against the house, there’s ivy that climbs up one side of the house and I’m about 95% convinced that the house is haunted.  I’ve been in haunted houses before so that’s no big deal.  I know a guy who investigates haunted houses and I’ve thought about having him over to investigate, but it’s really not that big a deal.  The houses I’ve been in before were semi malevolent, this is just … haunted.  I don’t really know how else to describe it.  But the house definitely makes noise.  The noises I heard the other night were different.  I’ve been around long enough that I can tell the difference.  This was an animal … and I live far enough out that there are lots of critters out here.  There’s also a thumping noise going on somewhere that I can’t figure out that’s driving me nuts.  It’s mechanical in nature, doesn’t change and doesn’t stop.  I think it might be an attic vent fan…except I don’t think I have any.  So……… yeah.

Why is it that you don’t value your life more than I value my possessions?

Ancient massive ‘Dragon of Death’ flying reptile dug up in Argentina

BUENOS AIRES, May 23 (Reuters) – Argentine scientists discovered a new species of a huge flying reptile dubbed “The Dragon of Death” that lived 86 millions of years ago alongside dinosaurs, in a find shedding fresh insight on a predator whose body was as long as a yellow school bus.

So, it pisses me off when scientist dig up my relatives.  And despite what they say about him, he really wasn’t that bad.  I wouldn’t really call him the “Dragon of Death” at worst, he was the “Dragon of Mildly Antagonistic.”  But, if you want to read what the humans have to say about the subject, here’s the whole article link.https://www.reuters.com/business/environment/ancient-massive-dragon-death-flying-reptile-dug-up-argentina-2022-05-23/

Well, we made it to the end.  Not all of our issues addressed, but this issue put to bed.  I hope you had as much fun reading it as I had putting it together.  Thanks to all  of you who helped contributing to it.  Love and Happiness to you all.

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Dragon Laffs #2042

So, let me start this story by reminding you that my house was built in 1900, which means that it is 122 years old.  Or, at least parts of it are.  Anyway, I had a rough night last night, and I think at least part of it was because of the age of my house.  So, I was laying in bed reading, just falling asleep, (my usual nighttime routine) when I started to hear a scrambling, scratching noise coming from the corner of the bedroom.  Which also happens to be the outside corner of the house.  It actually sounded like some animal was IN the corner of the room, behind the end table.  It is now after midnight.  I’m moving around the bedroom, in my nightshirt, with a cane and a flashlight.  Of course, nothing was in the corner of the room, so my next thought was that something was outside the house, scratching at the wall. 

So, I throw on a pair of shorts, go outside and beat the bushes near where the sound was coming from.  No animal comes running out and I don’t see signs of anything, although I imagine I look quite the sight at 1 am with a flashlight in my nightshirt and shorts and cane. 

Then, thinking that I might have chased it off by coming out the front door and just didn’t see him run off, I went back in my bedroom, sat quietly and listened and within a minute or two, heard the scritchy-scratching of little feet, AGAIN!!! 

The only other place it could be is in the basement.  Now, in order to get to the basement, you have to go through the trapdoor in the pantry floor.  And of course there is stuff ON the floor, like a 30 lb container of dog food.  So, with the bad hip and the heavy trap door, and my sudden anxiety over some huge raccoon or possum IN MY HOUSE, I had to wake up Izzy Dragon to not only help me move the stuff off the trapdoor, but to watch and make sure I could make it down the very steep basement stairs. 

Anyway, long story short, there was nothing in the basement, or up underneath the house.  So, putting everything back and apologizing to Izzy at what is now 2 am, we sat on my bed and listened in the corner and didn’t hear anything.  She is now quite convinced that her poor dad is crazy.  So, I sent her back to bed after thanking her for her help and laid there in bed listening for a noise that never came again.  I suppose it was somewhere near 3 am when I finally fell asleep again. 

Of course, Pepper Dragon and Willow Dragon both decided that Saturday morning was the morning they were NOT going to let me sleep in and thought that 0700 hrs. was the perfect time to start crying to go out.  Needless to say, poor old Impish is dragon ass this morning.  So, let’s get to laughing…

Shouldn’t be a problem.  But, speaking of mowing.  I actually went out today and very slowly and only partially completed, but actually went out and mowed my lawn today!  I have a ride-on mower, of course, or I couldn’t have done it.  I got the front yard mowed mostly because I was worried the city was going to start complaining.  I didn’t weed eat, so it still pretty much looks like crap out there, but the grass is knocked down and the Whelpling and grandkidlets will be over next weekend to help me fight through the jungle that the yard has become, so it’s at least that much done.  I did the close part of the backyard, just not the far backyard.  So, all is well for at least a week.

When I go to someone’s house and they tell me to make myself at home, the first thing I do is throw them out because I don’t like visitors.

I don’t care how old I get.  If I’m in a store and I see a toy with “Try me” on it, I’m pushing those buttons.

Reminder:  April is Procrastination Awareness Month

Dragon Over Watch, Day 25: This is lonely duty I have planned for myself.  And I’ve come to find out that there isn’t a single pizza delivery service that delivers to this location.

Not a good example.  I am personally related to two unicorns and am proud to call a Leprechaun my brother, even though he has passed on to Heaven now.  He is still watching over us, all.  Love you Lethal.

What has four letters, occasionally has twelve letters, always has six letters, but never has five letters.

Don’t take my advice, because WE’LL end up drunk, in the middle of a cornfield, covered in MUD.

DON’T LET
anyone ever break your soul.  You have to stand on your own two feet and stand up for yourself.  There are those that would give anything to see you fail, but you must never give them the satisfaction.  Hold your head up high, smile and stand your own ground.

The annual Dragon Laffs Rodeo is something to behold.  You guys are all invited.

And I have several of those.

I’m too lazy to be a stalker.
You’ll have to come here.
And bring coffee.

I’m getting real sick of underwear and responsibilities.

What doesn’t kill us makes our drinks stronger.

I hate it when I’m mentally undressing someone and my OCD kicks in and I start folding their clothes.

“Expecting a trouble-free life because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge you because you are a vegetarian.” ~ Jeffrey R. Holland

Changed all my passwords to Kenny. 

Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.

Another link thanks to Stephanie.  This is a really cool experiment called: The Pitch Drop Experiment.

It’s not a long read, and down at the bottom is a link to go to the live feed.  Pretty cool in a VERY laidback sort of way: https://smp.uq.edu.au/pitch-drop-experiment#:~:text=We’re%20home%20to%20the,once%20used%20for%20waterproofing%20boats

Lynn writes and sends us some upsetting news.  She says she’s okay, but we still have to be concerned: 

Thanks everyone for your concern. 😓 First off, I’m OK, I was a bit shaken up though.

For those of you that aren’t aware, I was robbed at the Get Go Gas Station on 306 at 9 am today. After my hands stopped trembling, I managed to call the Bainbridge Police Department. They were quick to respond and calmed me down because my blood pressure went through the roof!

My money is gone. The police asked me if I knew who did it and I told them “Yes, it was pump number 3”.

Lynn, we’ll keep you in our prayers.

Very scary thoughts.

I bet the people who voted for Biden are turning over in their graves.

Just told my husband that he was being a “Negative Nancy” and he told me “No, I’m being Reality Rick.”

Lasers were once a huge scientific breakthrough; now we use them to play with cats.

Computers were once a huge scientific breakthrough; now we use them to look at cats. 

Conclusion:  Science was made for cats.

Sitting in a recliner naked, watching a movie, eating ice cream and Doritos minding my own business, and Walmart feels the need to call the Cops?!?!

Roadside sobriety tests are getting ridiculous!

Last night I had to fold a fitted sheet…

Okay, that is WAY cool!

With time, women gain weight because we accumulate so much knowledge and wisdom in our heads that there is no more room in there and it distributes it to the rest of our bodies.

So we aren’t heavy, we are enormously educated, cultured and happy.  Beginning today when I look in the mirror I will think: Good Grief…look how smart I am!

Today I saved $273.47 by not going to Target for Toothpaste.

MARRIAGE TIP #46 

Your wife won’t start an argument with you if you’re cleaning.

I made it back to Church this morning.  That was nice.  Couldn’t make it last week, it was just too early and too much after my surgery.  It was nice to be welcomed back and it was nice to be told I was missed last week.  Joe, you are very correct, there is a feeling of belonging at church.  It’s not a building, it’s a family.  You do not have to go to church to worship God or to talk to God, but it is nice to go someplace with like minded people.  The same reason tomorrow night I will be going to my Grief Group.  To go somewhere with like minded minded people to discuss like minded things.  Anyway…..that’s it for today my dear friends.  I hope you had as much fun reading this episode with issues as I had putting this issue with episodes together.  Much love and happiness to you all.

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Dragon Laffs #2041

And now it’s Saturday.  Almost two weeks since my surgery.  You know, I can’t wait until the two weeks are up.  Then I can take off these silly compression hose on my legs.  Not that I really mind them, but I think they’ve been making me claustrophobic at night when I lay down to go to sleep.  Now, here me out.  I know how silly it sounds.  I wear a mask for a living, right? 

But, at night, I wear a CPAP, a chin strap to keep my mouth shut, my legs are trapped under the blankets and I can’t move much because of the hip thing, and then the pressure of the compression hose on my legs kind of makes me feel like I’m tied down and the claustrophobia and then the whole panic attack thing starts up.  Okay, so it’s bad enough that thinking about it and trying to describe it in writing has gotten me breathing heavy and nervous right now.  That has never happened to me before.  It has GOT to be a combination of the surgery and my grief still kicking around.  I think it’s weird.  Like really weird.  NEVER, EVER had issues like this before.  Any of you nurse, or physiology students have any insight out there?

On a brighter note, I’m pretty much 100% on a cane now, haven’t used the walker in a few days.  I’ve been driving.  I’m just making sure not to trap myself too far away from relief.  That doesn’t really make sense, let me explain.  Like, walk too far away from home or walk too far away from the car.  An example would be to walk into the Grocery Store where I couldn’t easily walk back out again.  That’s important because I get tired easily, but I’m doing better and better each day, so…good news, right?  Yeah, I thought so, too. 

I’ve been just writing nonsense since I started this one today, so why don’t we get to some of the funny stuff that you guys actually tuned in to see?

This is actually a great cartoon.  Without saying anything, it says so much.

I just blocked someone on my page for correcting my grammar and it feeleded good.

As I’ve said so many times before, witness statements are so unreliable.

Women love when you kiss their neck… 
Just not when they’re driving

And you’re in the backseat.
And they don’t know you.

This one is hilarious!  And yes, I know it looks like it’s a setup.  It looks like she might be  prepositioning the bowl.  But, ignore that, and just watch.  Thanks Stephanie.https://www.facebook.com/632213855/posts/10158546389203856/?sfnsn=mo

And here’s the relief picture for our company’s softball team warming up for our next game.

The Institute of Unfinished Research has concluded that 6 out of 10 people

OMG!  That’s infanticide! 

Here’s another fast one from Stephanie.  It’s pretty amazing, so go ahead…give it a click: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1156193134887179/permalink/1375480412958449/?sfnsn=mo&ref=share

Our IT Team.  These are the two who keep our electronic equipment running smoothly.

 

Dear ghosts,

If you can move shit around and flicker lights then you can use a mop.

I had a quiet game of tennis today. 

It’s like regular tennis, but without the racket.

Well played…

Teacher:  Where is your homework?

Me:  I lost it fighting some kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in school.

Unless of course they scream loud enough or burn shit down that doesn’t belong to them.  Then, for some insane reason, we give in to them, instead of ignoring them, arresting them, or shooting them outright! 

Yeah, I’d say that’s pretty unlucky.

Trail mix? 

You mean chocolate candies with obstacles.

Gas is so high the mailman is working from home.  He called me yesterday to read my bills to me.

And somehow, in his mind, this makes perfect sense!  Why is he still in office?  Why are any of them that support him still in office?

Proud of yourself?

And we shouldn’t be surprised by this by now.

Instead of focusing on a man who has left the Whitehouse, focus on the one who is in it!  He’s the one wrecking America!!

I tried to explain to Izzy Dragon how much this was a Republican point of view, which led us to a discussion on how housing and food and medical care and stuff like that should all be free.  It led to some very interesting conversations.

I’ve been in bed for 20 minutes, and I just remembered I only came upstairs for a pen.

I finally found a diet plan that really works.  It’s called, “The Price of Food.”

Her:  Would you like to be the sun in my life?

Me:  AWWWWW YES!!

Her:  Then stay 92,900,000 miles away from me.

And as we tamp down the fire, and roll up the logs, I want to thank Alan F, reijo, jhjoseph, and kris72663 for the kind words about the ezine and me getting better.  But, I have to share Leah D’s comment here:

Leah D

a day ago

Dragon Laffs #2040

You get your hip replaced, and are up and walking dogs. My husband got his repaired, with rods and all, and memorized all of the Two and a Half Men shows for weeks sitting in his easy chair. The next time I get a fat tire, I’m buying a new one, not repairing it! (yes, my mind works in wandering ways)

Yes, I saw where your mind went, Leah and I agree, your mind definitely works in wandering ways. 

And with that, Love and Happiness to you all until we meet again.

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Dragon Laffs #2040

And here we are back around to another day.  My dearest friends and family, this is for you.  You are the reason I do this.  You are the reason I put effort into…okay, you get the idea.

Anyway, I didn’t make it to church on Sunday like I wanted to, but I DID make it to my Group Grief Therapy last night, and that was after only one week out from my surgery.  I actually drove myself there.  Which was  not near as hard as I thought it would be.  It was, after all, my left leg that was operated on and all the driving is done with your right leg since I don’t have a manual transmission.  So, it was all good.  I stopped the pain pills a few days ago, so there was no impairment issues, either.

And also as of today, I’m pretty much done with my walker and using my cane, except for long distances.  But, around the house and going out to get the mail…I’ve even taken the dogs out a few times on my cane.  The problem with that is that my puppy, Willow Dragon, is a friggin’ BEAST!  She pulls against the leash, even the expanding one and I have to be really careful that she doesn’t pull against me and pop my hip out or pull me over.  So, instead, I have to be ready to let go if it looks like she’s going too fast and won’t stop and will do me damage.  As big as a beast as she is, she still isn’t a year old yet.  But, so far so good.

Anyway, let’s get to the good part of the show, shall we? 

Our dear friend of the show, Friggin’ Pete, came up with a really good question.  He wrote and said, “Don’t you find it kinda odd that Jeffery Epstein was a pedophile who had an island where he took young girls for sex.  He flew tons of major male personalities to that island including top Political Leaders, Major Actors, Billionaires, Business Leaders, Media Personalities and the rich and powerful people from all walks of life.

AND the only one in jail for any of it……is a woman…” 

Yeah, I do find it odd.  And I find it odd that it has all been buried and hidden away and no one has heard a word about it with everything else that’s going on in the world.  Can you imagine if it was a Republican who had done the things that he was accused of, there wouldn’t be a day gone by that we wouldn’t be hearing about it.  Just like Hunter’s laptop.  I can’t believe the pile of bullshit that has become.  There is such a double standard in this world that it sickens me.

“Life is not the way it’s supposed to be – it’s the way it is.

The way you cope with it is what makes the difference” 

After his plane was hit and he was forced to eject, the Marine fighter pilot finally regained consciousness. He was in a hospital in a lot of pain.

He found himself in the ICU with tubes/IV drips in both arms, a breathing mask, wires monitoring every function and a nurse hovering over him looking worried.

It was obvious he was in a life-threatening situation.

The nurse gave him a serious look, straight into his eyes. Knowing he was not only a fighter pilot, but a Marine, she spoke to him softly and slowly, enunciating each word:

“You may not feel anything from the waist down.”

Somehow he managed to mumble in reply, “Can I feel your tits, then?”

And that, my friends, is a real positive attitude.

I’ve just invented a telepathically controlled air freshener.

Makes scents when you think about it.

“Lined up in attack formation…”

It’s like my mom always told me…

“You might not be the dumbest guy in the world, but you better hope he doesn’t die.”

These days, my idea of living dangerously is going grocery shopping without a list.

I love this!

The Original Charlie’s Angels

There are still so many people who buy into this one.

I just got a full tank of gas for $22.  Granted, it was for my lawn mower, but I am trying to stay positive here.

And here’s a weird one, sent in by Leah D…it’s the “Anti-Fascist Blues” by Five Times August

Yes!  Beware!  Be very … um … ware…

My daughter asked me what it’s like to have kids, so I interrupted her every 11 seconds until she cried.

I correct autocorrect more than autocorrect corrects me.

Some people are afraid to be corny.

Not me.  I live life on the cob, baby.

Math Teacher:  If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have? 

Student:  A drinking problem.

When someone asks, “Where do you see yourself in 10 years…”

Buddy, I’m just trying to make it to Friday.

You ever had garbage in one hand but you accidentally throw out the thing that you want in your other hand?

LOL!

Anyways, the baby’s ok.

If you don’t get the reference you are really young.

One great thing about Texas heat…

You can guarantee no one is waiting in your backseat to kill you.

And if you don’t get this one, well…then I’m just sorry for you.

When you die, people cry and beg for you to come back…

but, when you do, there’s the running and screaming…

Let’s finish out today’s episode with a couple of more comments, shall we?  This one is from Joe:

jhjoseph

2 days ago

Dragon Laffs #2039

I am so lucky that I found your website–basically by accident. I was searching for funny memes and your site popped up. Thanks. Joe

Thank you, Joe.  I’m glad you found us.  It’s good to have new friends in the campground.  I hope you become a regular visitor.

Leah D

2 days ago

Dragon Laffs #2039

Oxygen candles . . .hmmmmmmm. I want to hike up half of our mountain in Montana, without carrying oxygen canisters with me. So I googled, never found one for sale. Since you are a survival expert, do you have connections for them?

Leah, well a couple of things here.  I’m not really a survival expert per se.  I am a CBRN Survival Instructor, which is more of niche expertise in the survival world.  I can teach you how to stay alive in a chemical, biological, radiological, or nuclear contaminated environment, but not so much how to set snares and traps to survive in the wilderness to trap game and things like that.  At any rate, the oxygen candles were more for confined spaces, like mines and places like that, not so much for climbing mountains, where the oxygen would disperse quickly and not be useful.  I think the reason you weren’t able to find them for sale was that they are highly specialized and not readily for sale to the general public.  Just my opinion from reading the article.

And that’s going to do it for today my friends.  I hope you all have a truly wonderful day … a day filled with love and happiness.

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