Dragon Laffs #1953

Good Morning Campers, 

Well, it seems as though the last issue published as it was supposed to, so I guess this platform works at least.  As much of a pain in the ass as it is.  Any port in the storm. 

Maybe it’s a government conspiracy to keep Impish Dragon’s voice off the internet.  You know it’s not like Faceblock where they can stop you anytime they want, I can say anything I want to here and the only ones I have to worry about here are the FBI, NSA, CIA … okay, so I guess I DO have stuff to worry about. 

So maybe in light of all of that, we ought to, oh I don’t know, laugh? 

I got my glasses fixed.

My girlfriend sat on them

It was my own fault though.

I should’ve taken them off.

Can I be the first one to say, “YUCK!”

This message needs to get out to pretty much everyone these days …

Just because you are offended – doesn’t mean you are right!

Every time a bird shits on my car, I eat a plate of scrambled eggs on my porch to show them what I am capable of.

Woman:  Do you have any batteries?  

Clerk:  Sure come this way. (wiggles finger)  

Woman:  If I could come that way, I wouldn’t need batteries.

Izzy Dragon’s baby picture.

Oh, the good old days!

I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. 

She made me an appointment for Tuesday.

The Manhattan Style makes me think that there might be OTHER styles.

 

Just spent 15 minutes searching for my phone in my car. 

While using my phone as a flashlight.

Even our plumbers are special.

Everyone needs that one friend who’ll get drunk with you, for no reason at all.

One minute your young and fun.  And the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

An Obituary printed in the London Times…..Absolutely Dead Brilliant!!

 Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, “Common Sense”, who has been with us for many years.

 No one knows for sure how old he was, 

Common Sense has been lost in bureaucratic red tape

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

– Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
– Why the early bird gets the worm;
– Life isn’t always fair;
– And maybe it was my fault.

 Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend
 more than you can earn) 

 

Common Sense began to deteriorate rapidly when overbearing regulations were set in place ! ! !

 

Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses;
and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
 

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a
burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
 

 Common Sense was preceded in death,
 -by his parents, Truth and Trust,
 -by his wife, Discretion,
 -by his daughter, Responsibility,
 -and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 5 stepchildren;
 – I Know My Rights
– I Want It Now
– Someone Else Is To Blame
 – I’m A Victim
– Pay me for Doing Nothing
 

Very few realize we have lost Common Sense 

Today I passed a drug test at work.  My dealer has some explaining to do.

Most people don’t act stupid.  It’s the real thing.

You just have to take life one “WTF” at a time…

I hate when people say, “Act Like An Adult.” 

Have you seen adults lately?  That’s horrible advice!

If you ever see me JOGGING, please kill whatever is chasing me.

Do you ever just listen to someone and think, Holy Shit, you’ve got the IQ of a crayon.  

Every damn day.

It’s time to do some of these.  Let’s see how much fun we can have.

If you’re 40+, it’s time to leave those young girls alone and get you a woman that understands the signs of a stroke.

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later if you want to come by…

Mother’s Day gift?

Finally figured out the reason why I look so bad in pictures.

It’s my face.

I don’t know where you got your opinion, but I hope you kept the receipt.

I just saw on the news that they’re suggesting that people check on the elderly. 

I’m usually up by 6 or 6:30. 

Bring donuts.

And that’s it for today my friends.  I hope you have a wonderful week full of love and happiness.  

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Dragon Laffs #1952

Good Morning Campers,

So, not sure how this is going to work out. I have to use the damn processing unit on the WordPress site. I’m still discovering a lot of stuff about it. I still don’t like it, but it may be because I’m not used to it. It may be because it’s a huge pain in the ass. But, there may be some pluses … like I may be able to videos back into my issues again. But, there may be some minuses … it may take me a lot longer to put an issue together until I get used to this. So issues may be shorter or there may be fewer issues per week. I’m not sure how all this will play out.

But we’ll see, I suppose.

And see, that’s a perfect example.  I found a better color, but now I can’t go back and change the first paragraph … but I can’t change the second paragraph’s font size.  It’s crazy.

It allows me to put pictures in and stuff, and in much different arrangements, but if the pictures are too small, I can’t resize them.

And I can now put videos back in … if it actually shows up when I post.  There should be a dancing baby above, so if there is, then that’s a plus.  But, it looks like it only works on YouTube, and some others that I’ve never heard of.  Guess I’ll have to experiment.

So, yeah.  It’s a real pain in the ass to set up each and every paragraph as I type it … but I guess that’s something I’ll get used to as well.  So, let’s get this issue going I suppose and see where it takes us, shall we?

And that’s exactly what I’m talking about … last night before I went to bed, I had gotten a bit further in this issue than I am right now, and when I saved it and came back to it this morning, part of it was missing!  So, me and this interface are going to have a real “come to Jesus” kinda talk!

But in the mean time … let’s get to some of that laughter, shall we?

The hacker was so disappointed in my bank account … he started me a Go Fund Me page.

I have to tell you guys, the comments and outpouring of love I’ve received from you all since my last episode has been amazing!  Jaw dropping, floor stomping, back pounding amazing!  And it seems that most of you like the political stuff and the ranting or at least are willing to put up with it.  Not that I was going to stop, just … um … tone it down a little. 

But, from Don Graves we get: I do enjoy this e-zine, and much like anything I read or watch if I don’t like what I see I move on. Your politics and mine do not often match, but I served to give you the right to rant if you want. Keep up the good work!  Don, thank you for your Service.  And yes, believe it or not folks, there is a lot of that in the service where two vets don’t have the same political views.  But we can sit down together and discuss it without it coming to arguments and fighting, because we understand that it’s okay for two full grown adults to have different opinions.  Cheers, brother.

And from our dearest friend Stephanie: I love you dragon, and really enjoy the humor. Yes, it has been a bit political, but what isn’t?
I miss the lair and the wild drunken revelry we used to have. I can make flower tiaras for the ladies and sharpen spear points. Might even be able to sew bells on pointy shoes.  Yeah, I miss those days as well.  We need to get back to those good old days.  I need to sit and write a good story again.  And speaking of stories … no one said anything about Lasagna Bob!  Hmmm, not your guys’ cup of tea I suppose.  Okay

And we’ll do a few more in a minute.

Okay, more comments.  Although, I suppose that if you really wanted to read them, you could go to the comments section and read them yourself, but then that wouldn’t allow me an opportunity to publicly respond to all of them, so … put up with it. 

This one is from Kris, who says: I’m fine with the political stuff. Maybe I’m just as angry as you so I appreciate the humor more than others. Please don’t stop totally.  Maybe that’s part of it, how close anger and humor really are.  We get so mad at what our “LEADERS” are doing to us instead of what they are supposed to be doing for us and we have no choice but to lash out.  We can’t lash out physically and with violence, either because we’re not that kind of people, we physically can’t do that, or some other limiting situation, so we do the next best thing.  We poke fun, sometimes hurtfully so, because that’s all we have left.  It’s also a bit sad and emasculating because it’s all we have left to us.

And then Cynical John (what a GREAT name) who writes:  I enjoy it all–rants, jokes, puns. Maybe I enjoy the rants is because I agree with you most all the time. Keep it up!  It’s nice to be agreed with, to hear the cheering in the background when I go on a rant.  To feel the crowd surge forward when I say, “he should be strung up by his toenails” like I could snap my fingers and the scoundrel would be hung by his offending digits.  Yes … that feeling is truly marvelous.

“Do you promise to love, honor, and cherish for as long as you both shall live?”

I will never, ever be able to NOT see this again!

Tom Harlander is next up with his comments:  I have a big collection of photos, memes, etc., from your postings that I in turn post on my Facebook page. I have been told by the Facebook censors recently that some of them are not true, my response has been to post another statement in response that the “checkers” are liars and frauds. So far they haven’t responded, so I guess that’s not deniable. I like the political stuff, but also the fun things. When they manage to combine, that’s great. Thanks Tom.  We all steal from each other.  If it wasn’t for you guys sending me stuff to post, I wouldn’t have an issue to publish at all.  And then Steve uses half the stuff he uses from stuff he gets from Dragon Laffs and I use about half of what he posts in his postings and …. it just goes round and round until all of us have gotten a good laugh from all of it.  That’s the key takeaway.  “Has everyone laughed at everything?  Okay, we can move on now.”

And then Al put in his east coast voice: yer stuff is good. youse is clearly of the ‘second greatest’ generation… and socialism and pcism are simply incomprehensible. take it easy, we’ll waitThanks Al.  Youse is good people, too.  And thanks for waiting.  Me?  I hate waiting for stuff, but I appreciate that there are times where waiting is good.  Hopefully, we’re getting this whole thing worked out.

Dave is up next and writes to say: I check a few times every day, to see if you have a new page up. When I see it, I usually stop whatever I was doing and go right to it. I need the break, for some real humor, not the stupid tik-tok shit. Keep your page the way it has been. If you lose a reader from time to time, don’t worry about. You have also gained readers who don’t subscribe, they just enjoy humor. Since politics are ruining everything, why not poke fun at them. Just think, the new 4 star admiral came from my state, Pennsylvania. I was in the Navy, but shit like this doesn’t make me proud.   Thanks Dave.  I’m not really worried about losing a reader as much as keeping in mind what my readers want to read.  And I think I’m getting that, thanks to you all.  I know I’m not going to please all of the people all of the time, but that also doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t at least check in…otherwise it could reach a point where the only person I’m writing for is … me.

Then it’s Tina’s turn and she writes: i have to say, i check my inbox every day hoping to see you’ve posted a new bunch of laughs.
i agree with most of what you write, and what part i don’t agree with, i skip over. hey, i’m sure you wouldn’t agree with everything i say either.
keep it the way it is, or change it up,,, i’ll still be checking in cause i need the laughs and i don’t mind the serious.
dragon laffs are one of the best parts of my day. please don’t stop.  Wow!  Thanks Tina.  That makes me want to post something every day.  And feel bad because I don’t.  But seriously.  Thanks.  It makes me feel really good.

Male bees die after mating. 

That’s basically their life. 

Honey.   Nut.   Cheerio.

“Protect the Kingdom!”

Okay, let’s finish these up, shall we.  Let’s go to Mike next: How could you not take a few shots at the politico’s, especially since they make such juicy targets of themselves, provide your ammunition and load your gun for you. It would harder no not give them their due.  This is quite true, Mike.  They do make it Sooooo damn easy.

Then we have Alan F.: Look forward to and enjoy every mailing. serious or humorous. Keep up the good work  Thanks Alan, appreciate the very kind words.

And Trish Gilbert says: I love your political rants because I feel the same way which is why Fakebook deleted my page and banned me. They don’t like the truth. You always make me laugh at just the right time. Please keep up the awesome job.  One of the main reasons I really don’t have a Facebook account.  I have one, but if it wasn’t for my dart league, I really wouldn’t.  They decided that’s the way we would keep track of things in the league, so I have an account for that, since I am the treasurer, statistician, secretary, gopher, and all around “other job” guy.

One of our favorite dear friends, Leah D. adds: I need your political rants as much as the laughs. I need to know I am not the only one mad as hell about what is going on. That puts me in the mood for comedy, like aspirin for a headache.  Yup, battling the bullshit with laughter.  That’s what we do.  And yeah, you aren’t the only one who is mad as hell about what’s going on.

And finally, just a few minutes ago, Greg added: I’ve always enjoyed your stuff got all of them in a LAFFS folder although I don’t really go back to them much. I have just always dragged them over “just in case! I get them on my work emails makes my day 🙂 I understand Greg, I have folders of folders of stuff I don’t want to get rid of just “because”.  They’re just electrons, right?  Thanks for being a fan. 

And thanks to ALL of you … you guys have REALLY made my day!!! 

Pete sent this to me, um, actually almost a week ago, but it is so apropos and fits so well with what we have been talking about that I have to put it in, right here.  Thanks Pete for all you do and for all you send me.

I came across this today, it’s something I wrote a few years ago but, it sure has relevance to today.

If we are going to become a Nation that is PC, first of all …good luck with that. Second is, we are not able to stop at banning the “N” word. I surely understand that people take offense to that word but, the fact is, people take offense to all kinds of words. So I believe in the interest of this so called “Political Correctness” and to insure the sensitivities of our Citizens, we need to ban a few more words and subjects.

Lets start with the subject of weight, that is a very sensitive thing to some people. If you or someone you know grew up overweight you know how hurtful and offensive words like: fatty, pig, tubby, pudgy, cow, thunderthighs, to name a few, can be. I move we ban all words and subject matter to do with being overweight.

For the Irish people and people who deal daily with the ravishing, devastating affects of alcoholism we should ban all references to alcohol and drunkenness, especially as it pertains to the stereotypes of people of Irish decent.

For the preservation of the feelings of our Polish friends, we need to ban all words related to “Pollock” and all manner of stereotyped jokes and subject matter on them!

Then there are blonds, short people, Indians, Mexicans, Jews, Catholics, The French, aged people. There are the Chinese, Hillbillies, geeks, the disabled, Foureyes, all manner of sex words. Yup, there are a whole world of offensive words and subjects that this Politically Correct shit encompasses!

As for humor, it is a tool for learning, just look at one of the greatest Comedians of all time, Richard Pryor. He used extreme racist humor and he used it to teach Blacks and Whites about each other as did Carroll O’Connor! And the world is a better place because of them and their humor! Humor is first of all to make us laugh but, it is secondly and, most importantly, to make us look into ourselves and make us think!! When subjects and words are banned we lose part of that opportunity and all we have left…is to laugh!

When we ban words and subjects, we stifle, retard, and pervert the growth of understanding and knowledge needed to get past the prejudices, stereotypes and misconceptions we have for each other. We shut down our thoughts, we shut down our feelings and we throw all the racism and hostility into the closet and keep it hidden in the dark! Then we let it grow and fester there in it’s ignorance and stupidity.

Pete

With my luck, I’ll probably die the day after I get my shit together.

I accept myself for who I am and what I believe, it is not my responsibility for you to accept me.  That is your problem!

Life is better when you’re laughing.

It helps if you imagine auto correct as a tiny little elf in your phone who’s trying so hard to be helpful but is in fact quite drunk.

I’d love to give a shit, but my Shit Dispenser is broken.  Would you like to try your luck on the Wheel of Sarcasm?

YOU KNOW WHAT’S FUNNY? 

A LOT OF THINGS! 

SO LIGHTEN THE HELL UP!

Dad:  GO TO YOUR ROOM NOW!  

Child: *Storms off* JIM MORRISON WAS OVERRATED!  

Dad:  WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT SLAMMING THE DOORS!?

I hate double standards.  Burn a body at a crematorium, you’re “being a respectful friend.”  Do it at home and you’re “destroying evidence.”

For the first time in history, you can simply post, “He’s an idiot,” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Wow!  Check out those prices!!!

Laughter is the best medicine, but if you laugh for no reason, you need medicine.

I’m going to finish today’s issue out with a short collection of dragon memes sent to me by dear Stephanie.  I will say this didn’t go as bad as I thought it would.  I was put together with the WordPress interface.  I was a pain in the ass and took a long time, but I suppose it could have been worse. 

I discovered some short cuts along the way, so we’ll see if I can’t speed up as I go.  

Love and happiness to you all.  Until we meet again. 

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Good Morning Campers,

Well, as you can tell … because it’s Thursday … I missed on Monday.  It was a VERY LONG weekend for me.  Ended up teaching four classes over the weekend which pretty much kicked this little blue dragon’s ass. 

Hey, I want to talk to you guys about something.

Had a reader send me a comment over the weekend.  He wanted to know how to unsubscribe because, as he put it, the blog was fun, but now there is too much political stuff.  And you know … I think he may be right.  I think I may be letting my anger and frustration bleed over into here.  I mean, what does it say right there at the top of the page?  Let’s all of us take a look, right now.

It says:  “Getting through the day, one laugh at a time.” 

And under our motto it says:  “Battling the world’s bullshit with laughter.”  (mind you, it also says “Death before dishonor; Nothing before coffee” but that’s beside the point) the point is that perhaps … just perhaps … I’ve grown a bit too serious in parts of this ezine lately.  There’s nothing wrong with a good old fashioned rant, but it seems as though that’s all I’ve been doing lately.  I haven’t told many funny stories or picked on any of you readers lately (and no, I’m not just talking about you, Stephanie).  And yes, as angry as the current situation has made me, isn’t there just so many times you can hear the same things over and over again?

So … maybe it’s time to get back to our roots.  Tell the stories and rant the rants that need telling and ranting – but then let it go …

… you know?

Or am I wrong?

What do YOU GUYS want to see?

I also got a comment from a reader over the weekend that said damned good one, so many truths, keep it up.

I live for your feedback, you guys know that, right?  As a writer, and yes, I am a writer who just really has written anything substantial for a LONG time, but I will again some day.  As I was saying… as a writer, the only real legitimacy we receive is when we get feedback from our readers.  That can be in the form of monetary payment, fan mail, or in the case of blogs and such, comments in the comments section.  It is our fulfillment.  The reason we do what we do.  So, when someone says they are unhappy, we have to step back and look. 

Now, I know I’m not going to make everyone happy every time.  Trust me, I KNOW that’s not going to happen and I am by no means trying to.  I know my voice is not for everyone.

Yes, I have a voice.

Oh for crying out loud.  Okay.  I’ll do this ONLY ONCE.  If you want a real sample of my writing click here:  https://www.epicurean.com/articles/lasagna-bob.html

Anyway, I know my voice is not for everyone, ESPECIALLY when I get on a rant, but that is really not what this ezine was designed for.  It was originally designed for two things…

#1 To make people laugh for a little bit to help them forget about the bullshit that was going on in either their personal lives or in the world around them.

#2 To get the damn addictive monkey off my back that is writing, putting words down, getting MY VOICE OUT THERE.

Yes.  It is a bloody damn addiction.  And without giving in to it a little bit every couple of days, I become like any other strung-out addict who hasn’t had his fix.  An insufferable addict who is impossible to live with.  Which is why you usually find that when I skip an issue, you guys usually get a bit longer than normal opening statement … like this one.

LOL.

Anyway …

I’ve already dribbled drabble onto this page much more than I expected to.  So … let me know what you think.  Hit the comment button.  Write to me at impishdragon@gmail.com.  Send up a carrier pigeon … no, don’t do that, I’ll probably it him before I read the note.

Anyway, let’s get this one going then.

That’s what was served at my house … every damn night. Still is.

Apparently one of the symptoms of COVID-19 is having no taste.  Looking back on my exes I think I’ve been infected for years …

A Pennsylvania man is suing Smart Water for not making him smart and I’d like to formally announce my lawsuit against Thin Mints.

Seriously?  You couldn’t see that coming in either of the above situations?

I hope Elon Musk never gets involved in a scandal.

Elongate would be really drawn out.

My friend is obsessed with taking selfies in the shower, but they always turn out blurry.

He has selfie steam problems.

Tonight on the “Dating Game”

When I asked the Police how the hackers got away, they responded …

“I don’t know, they Ransomware.”

Okay, so I’m going to end this here because I’m so damn frustrated I could cry. I partially recreated today’s post by using the interface that WordPress offers on line and I fucking hate it! It’s not intuitive at all, it doesn’t work half the damn time and it won’t even let me do the things that I want to do!

So, I’m going to try and work this stupid system out and see what I can come up with. I hope I’ll have an issue for you guys on Saturday. I don’t know what happened to Live Writer, but probably like most things on here that work they way they are supposed to … someone decided to change something and now they don’t work anymore.

Love and happiness to you guys.

Cheers,

Impish Dragon

Posted in Uncategorized | 14 Comments

I have no idea

I have tomorrow’s issue ready to go and it won’t load. And I don’t know why. Can’t figure it out and I could just scream.

I’m so sorry

I’m going to keep working the problem but right now I’m all out of ideas.

Until I get it worked out ….

Love and happiness to you all.

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Dragon Laffs #1950

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1a11

Good Morning Campers,

Welcome to the weekend.  Another working one for me.  More classes to teach, more GIs to work with.  More CBRN classes to work my way through.  The difference between this weekend and the many, many others is this is the one where the TRs (traditional reservists) have to decide whether they take the vaccine or … not.  And the not is … still somewhat up in the air.

So, it should be quite the interesting weekend for all concerned. 

I’ve already had a pure crappy day. 

I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this before or not, but me a biting bugs and stuff don’t get along.  Like at all.  You may remember me getting all kinds of really strange swelling and stuff from brushing up against some weeds in the back yard and someone said that it may have been *.  Well, mosquitos and bees are the same way.  Make a long story short, I took a rare break at work today and bee2stepped outside to smoke a quick cigar and had a bee fly down the back of mybee1 shirt and … you guessed it, stung me on my back!  Little bastard!  And of course, it swelled right up and here it is like 7 hours later and it still hurts like a son-of-a-bitch.

And that pretty much set the pace for my whole friggin’ day.

So … if anyone needs to laugh today, it’s this poor little dragon.  So, let’s do this!

Lets laugh

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My Four Moods

  1. I need coffee
  2. I need a nap
  3. I need a vacation
  4. I need duct tape, rope, and a shovel

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Apparently “beer” isn’t “a helpful reply” when asked for ways to improve team meetings.

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spinning pink ribbon

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Ahem … (but why martinis?)

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Dragon Pix

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“I know sweetheart, I’ll keep all the big mean bees away from you.”

bee3a

Little bastards!

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A fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a
living. All the typical answers came up – fireman, mechanic, businessman, car salesman… and so forth.
However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the
teacher prodded him about his father, he replied, “My father’s an exotic
dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes to music in front of
other men and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money.”
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other
children to work on some exercises and took little Justin aside. “Is that
really true about your father?”
“No,” the boy said, “He works for the Democratic National Committee and helped to get Biden elected, but it’s too embarrassing to say that in front of the other kids.”

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Lord’s Prayer

By a 15-year-old school kid who got an A+ for this entry (TOTALLY AWESOME)!

The Lord’s Prayer is not allowed in most U.S. Public schools any more. A kid in Minnesota wrote the following NEW School Prayer:-

Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule. 
For this great nation under God,
Finds mention of Him very odd.

If scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a Federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That’s no offense; it’s a freedom scene.
The law is specific, the law is precise.
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.

For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all. 
In silence alone we must meditate,
God’s name is prohibited by the State.

We’re allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks.
They’ve outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the ‘unwed daddy,’ our Senior King.
It’s ‘inappropriate’ to teach right from wrong.
We’re taught that such ‘judgments’ do not belong.

We can get our condoms and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
No word of God must reach this crowd. 

It’s scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school’s a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot; My soul please take!

Amen

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I’ve got this one on my phone and have sent it out as a text image several times to people with no explanation … just to make a point.

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Fantasy

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“Come with me if you want to live!”

“Now, that just sounds like the lamest pickup line I’ve ever …”

“Just run, dammit!”

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There are far too many businesses with this exact plan.

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I’m not sure if I washed the spider down the drain in my shower or if he took one look at me naked and then leapt willingly to his death.

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Secrets to Inner Peace

If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and  boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without alcohol,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

 

Then You Are Probably

The Family Dog!

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And you thought I was going to get all spiritual ….

 

Handle every Stressful situation like a dog.  

If you can’t eat it or play with it,

 

Piss on it and walk away.

That was from Papa Dragon most Senior (my Dad) who got it from his buddy Vito.

Thanks and love to both of them.

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Stop an argument … stop a heart … one or the other.

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Warrior

Motivate

Hooters

hooters2

hope

hope2

Hopscotch

Horror Movies

Horror

Hostage

Hostility

Hot Air Balloons

2137

2138

Please congratulate me on my new position!

It’s the fetal position, I will be in it for a while.

2139

2140

I saw two guys wearing matching outfits and asked if they were gay?

They arrested me.

2141

2142

I’m trying to see things from your point of view.

But I can’t stick my head that far up my ass.

2143

2144

I don’t mind coming to work, but this eight hour wait to go home is just bullshit.

2145

2146

Politic

406

2b2f

407

408

409

410

411

412

413

414

415

416

0a1

417

418

419

420

421

422

423

2147

2148

Even the devil on my shoulder sometimes screams out, “What the hell are you doing?”

2149

2150

2151

2152

2153

2154

Actually, I think that’s a bit excessive myself.

2155

2156

And with that bit of anal humor, I think we’ll end this right here.  I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.  Please feel bad for me while I work this weekend, lol.  Love and happiness to you all.

I hope to have an issue out on Monday, but you guys know the way my weekends work out for me sometimes.

Cheers Impish

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