Dragon Laffs #1610 Part 2

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Okay, so I’m a dumb ass.

So many, many things I forgot yesterday.  First of all:Father's Day 1

father's day brew

 

Can’t believe I forgot that one.

To all you Dads out there, may your day be blessed with the love of your family. 

And I use the noun “Dad” on purpose.  Any man can be a father.  It’s a biological representation that the man actually has very little to do with after the first hour.  (I can hear all the women out there screaming, “HOUR!!!!  How the hell do you get it to last an HOUR!!!???!!!”  All I can say is….. Dragon.  If you aren’t getting what you need, then you need a dragon.)  {Okay, getting off topic here}  But a Dad is something special.  I know they can’t call it Dad’s Day, but they should have.  I’ve found, in my experience, that there is a big difference between a father and a dad.  Any father can be a Dad, but not all Dads are fathers.

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Oh, I don’t know about epic fail.  The kid really looked like he had a nice flight.  He didn’t really stick the landing, it was a bit rough, but he was only a couple of feet in the air, how bad could it have been?  Looks like fun.

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Just leave it to day to get the job done.

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Dragon Pix

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Yup, that’s me.  I’d do that.

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Zombies and automatic weapons.  Sounds right to me.

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Having been there, I understand.  You guys are the absolute best!

Okay, so Thursday was ….

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the eighth anniversary of Leprechaun Laffs.  Happy anniversary brother!  And although I know we don’t hear from Lethal much lately, I also know that he’ll be back when he can be.

Thursday was also Flag Day!

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And Saturday was Dragon Laff’s 12th Anniversary.

I’m sure there’s a bunch of birthdays and such that I’ve missed lately, and for that I apologize… You know it wasn’t on purpose.

Oh, and final thing before I go and drink a beer in the pool, that damn demon is still causing me trouble.  Woke up early this morning to the kitchen flooded.  Un-friggin’-believable.  Somehow in the night, the automatic ice machine in the freezer portion of the refrigerator started leaking.  There was water everywhere!  The basement was flooded because when the water leaks through the kitchen floor, it ends up in the basement.  Ruined everything in the freezer, not that there was that much, but still.  And of course there was no friggin’ shut off to just the ice machine.  So, I had to shut off the water to the whole house, go to Ace Hardware to get a shut off valve, then go back to Ace Hardware to get the correct valve and all told, it only took five hours to get the place close to back to rights…and I have no ICE for my beer!!!!!

Damn!

Definitely an unusual Father’s Day. 

Cheers my friends!

My love and Dragon Blessings to you all.

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Dragon Laffs #1610

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My Dear Campers,

I owe you an explanation as to what happened last Saturday.  It’s been a rough two weeks.  Let me give you a fast rundown.

You know that Mrs. Dragon’s been sick.  That hasn’t changed.  Not worse, but not really better anyway, so put that as a 40 lb. weight on my back.

We had a HUGE exercise at work.  That was a big deal for my office since my boss was running the exercise, which left me running everything else and participating in the exercise.  16 hour days for most of the week.  Let’s call that a 30 lb. weight added to the pack on my back.

Monday, I get a call from the fraud department of my bank.  Seems I have an unauthorized charge come through … enough that I had to cancel my debit card…causing a few other things to bounce.  I got them to pay the other things and to take back the insufficient funds charges (don’t even get me started on how a bank can charge money to your account because you have no money in your account) but until the company (PayPal) refunds the money, I can’t get another debit card.  All my bills are paid on line with … you guessed it, my debit card.  I could work around that by using my checking account but the pain in the ass of changing all the protocols with all the utilities and such …. well, let’s call that another twenty pounds added to the 70 lbs. already there.

So, sigh with relief, since what else could possibly go wrong.  Right?  Wrong.

My 12 year old (PAID FOR) car decides now is a good time to act out like a spoiled teenager.  I’ve dealt with 12 year old children before, so I suppose it shouldn’t have surprised me, and I worked it out with a bunch of sweat, both of the skull kind and the physical kind, but that added another 10 lbs. and we’re well into triple digit stress on my back.

This time of year, without real careful care and lots of work, my yard becomes a jungle in short order.  I just HAD to make time to mow, weed-eat, things of that nature.  You already know what’s coming, mower quit, the ride on one, so a couple more lbs. but I could use the push mower and at least get the front done so the local city employees who really should have something better to do, but apparently don’t, didn’t send me a warning notice of not maintaining my domicile in a proper healthy and respectable manner. 

Guess what else didn’t work?

Yup, the small mower. 

I’d swear there is an evil spirit out to get me, since the car and both mowers worked just fine within the last day to week. 

Those last couple of pounds just about did me in, campers.  Truly and completely. 

I’ve put up so many prayers over the last few months for so many different people, including some very special campers here today, and God has blessed every one of them and I just kept telling myself that God has NEVER let my family fail.  He has ALWAYS provided for us and we’ve always found a way to get by.  It’s never been easy by any stretch of the imagination, but these last few months have been the hardest I’ve ever had to work through.  Medical bills are overwhelming, health issues, monetary issues, work issues, it’s hard.  Really hard.

But the love of friends and family (and campers are counted in that group) and the strength of knowing God is watching over us, has seen us through so far.  You know, we go day by day and sometimes hour by hour, but I’m still standing.  And for the little things, we celebrate and we laugh and we flip the bird to the demons and devils, some of them in human form, who cast boulders on our path and we say to all of life’s bullshit…

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An old Jewish man goes to a diner every day for lunch. He always orders the soup du jour. One day the manager asks him how he liked his meal. The old man replies (with Yiddish accent) “Wass goot, but you could give a little more bread.” So the next day the manager tells the waitress to give him four slices of bread. “How was your meal, sir?” the manager asks. “Wass goot, but you could give a little more bread,” comes the reply. So the next day the manager tells the waitress to give him eight slices of bread. “How was your meal today, sir?” the manager asks. “Wass goot, but you could give a little more bread,” comes the reply. So … the next day the manager tells the waitress to give him a whole loaf of bread with his soup. “How was your meal, sir?” the manager asks, when he comes to pay. “Wass goot, but you could give just a little more bread,” comes the reply once again. The manager is now obsessed with seeing this customer say that he is satisfied with his meal, so he goes to the bakery, and orders a six-foot-long loaf of bread. When the man comes in as usual the next day, the waitress and the manager cut the loaf in half, butter the entire length of each half, and lay it out along the counter, right next to his bowl of soup. The old man sits down, and devours both his bowl of soup, and both halves of the six-foot-long loaf of bread. The manager now thinks he will get the answer he is looking for, and when the old man comes up to pay for his meal, the manager asks in the usual way: “How was your meal TODAY, sir?” The old man replies: “It wass goot as usual, but I see you are back to giving only two slices of bread!”

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Joe passed away. His will provided $30,000 for an elaborate funeral.  As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Helen, turned to her oldest friend.

“Well, I’m sure Joe would be pleased,” she said.

“I’m sure you’re right,” replied Jody, who lowered her voice and leaned in close.  “How much did this really cost?”

“All of it,” said Helen. “Thirty thousand.”

“No!” Jody exclaimed. “I mean, it was very nice, but $30,000?”

Helen answered. “The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to the church. The wake, food, and drinks were another $500. The rest went for the memorial stone.”

Jody computed quickly. “$22,500 for a memorial stone? My God, how big is it?!”

“Two and a half carats.”

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Why does this warning label really not surprise me?

 

An Angel visited a woman and told her that, in order to get to Heaven, she needed to give up smoking, drinking and premarital sex.

The woman said she would try her best.
The Angel visited the woman a week later to see how she was getting on.
“Not bad,” said the woman. “I’ve given up smoking and drinking, but I admit I’ve had trouble with the premarital sex thing.

 

“Oh? What happened?” said the Angel.

 

The woman said, “Well, things had gone well for about three weeks. But then I bent over to look in the freezer and my boyfriend caught sight of me. He looked at my long slender legs in high heels, and couldn’t resist pulling up my skirt and making love to me doggie-style, right then and there.”
“Uh, oh. They don’t like that in Heaven,” said the Angel.
The woman replied: “They’re not crazy about it at Costco either!”

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What did the mothers of eminent people say?
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PAUL REVERE’S MOTHER: “I don’t care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is past your curfew.”
MONA LISA’S MOTHER: “After all that money your father and I spent on braces, that’s the biggest smile you can give us?”
COLUMBUS’ MOTHER: “I don’t care what you’ve discovered, you still could have written!”
MICHELANGELO’ S MOTHER: “Can’t you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?”
NAPOLEON’S MOTHER: “All right, if you aren’t hiding your report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and show me..”
ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S MOTHER: “Again with the stovepipe hat? Can’t you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?”
MARY’S MOTHER: “I’m not upset that your lamb followed you to school, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you.”
ALBERT EINSTEIN’S MOTHER: “But it’s your senior picture. Can’t you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something…. ?”
GEORGE WASHINGTON’S MOTHER: “The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!” “Oh George, you never did have a head for money.”
THOMAS EDISON’S MOTHER: “Of course I’m proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and get to bed!”
MRS. MORSE: “Sam, stop tapping your fingers on the table, it’s driving me crazy!”
MRS. ARMSTRONG: “Neil has no more business taking flying lessons than the man in the moon.”

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WHATEVER GAS COSTS IT SURE BEATS WALKING. WELL , VERY FAR ANYWAY.

YOU THINK GASOLINE IS EXPENSIVE
All these examples do NOT imply that gasoline is cheap; it just illustrates how outrageous some prices are.
You will be really shocked by the last one (at least, I was)!!!
Think a gallon of gas is expensive?
This makes one think, and also puts things into perspective.
$Diet Snapple, 16 oz , $1.29 … $10.32 per gallon!
$Starbuck’s Reg. Coffee 16 oz, $2.10… $16.80 per gallon!
$Lipton Ice Tea, 16 oz , $1.19 … $9.52 per gallon!
$Gatorade, 20 oz , $1.59 …. $10.17 per gallon!
$Ocean Spray, 16 oz , $1.25 .. $10.00 per gallon!
$Brake Fluid, 12 oz , $3.15 …. $33.60 per gallon!
$Vick’s NyQuil, 6 oz , $8.35 … $178.13 per gallon!
$Pepto Bismol, 4 oz, $3.85 . $123.20 per gallon!
$Whiteout, 7 oz , $1.39 …….. $25.42 per gallon!
$Scope, 1.5 oz , $0.99 ….$84.48 per gallon!

And this is the REAL KICKER.

$Evian water, 9 oz , $1.49 ..$21.19 per gallon!
$21.19 for a gallon of WATER!!
and the buyers don’t even know the source!!
(Evian spelled backwards is Naive.)

Ever wonder why computer printers are so cheap? 
So they can hook you for the ink. 
Someone calculated the cost of the ink; you won’t believe it but it’s true:   $5,200 a gal.

$5,200 A GALLON!!!
So, the next time you’re at the pump, be glad your car doesn’t run on water, Scope, Whiteout, Pepto Bismol, NyQuil or, God forbid, Printer Ink!!!!

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If you mix Taco Bell hot sauce into your ramen noodles, it tastes exactly like poverty.

That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever read.

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You had one job…

I’m at that delusional age where I think everyone my age looks way older than I do.

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I’m not sure whether I need a nap, more coffee, or an exorcism.

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Florida Woman Stops Alligator Attack Using a Small Beretta Pistol

(Another good reason to have a concealed weapons permit.)

*This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator.*
*What’s the smallest caliber that you would trust to protect yourself?*
*Here’s her story in her own words:*

“While out walking along the edge of a pond just outside my house in “The Villages” with my soon to be ex-husband, discussing property settlement and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 12-ft. alligator which suddenly emerged from the murky water and began charging us with its large jaws wide open. She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive.”

“If I had not had my little Beretta .25 caliber pistol with me, I would not be here today!”

“Just one shot to my estranged husband’s knee cap was all it took. The gator got him easily, and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace.  The amount I saved in lawyer’s fees was really incredible, and his life insurance was a real big bonus!”

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If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

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When I’m bored, I call a random number, say this, and hang up:  “It’s done.  I hid the body…Headed your way.  Got you on GPS.  You better have my money.”

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Catholic Confession

An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said: “Father.. During World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis.  So I hid her in my attic.”
The priest replied: “That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess that.”
“There is more to tell, Father.  She started to repay me with sexual favors.  This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays.”
The priest said, “That was a long time ago and by doing what you did you placed the two of you in great danger, but two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh.  However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven.”
“Thank you, Father. That’s a great load off my mind.  I do have one more question.”
“And what is that?” asked the priest.
“Should I tell her the war is over?

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We all know someone like this:

I’m not sure where you learned to whisper, but I’m guessing inside a helicopter surrounded by fucking chainsaws.

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I picked up a hitchhiker last night.  He seemed surprised that I’d pick up a stranger and asked, “Thanks but why would you pick me up?  How do you know I’m not a serial killer?”

I told him the chances of two serial killers being in one car would be astronomical.

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Who’s guilty here?

A wife is dreaming in bed, she suddenly wakes up and shouts, “Quick!  My husband is home!”
Her husband wakes up and jumps out the window!

 

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I definitely going to use this one:

I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.

 

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A retired older couple returned to a Corvette dealership where the salesman has just sold the car they had been interested in to a beautiful, leggy, busty blonde in a mini skirt and a halter top.

The old man was visibly upset. He spoke to the salesman sharply,”Young man, I thought you said you would hold that car till we raised the $85,000 asking price. Yet I just overheard you closed the deal for $72,000 to the lovely young lady there. And if I remember right, you had insisted there was no way you could discount this model.”

 

The salesman took a deep breath, cleared his throat and reached for a large glass of water. “Well, what can I tell you? She had the cash ready, didn’t need any financing help, and, Sir, just look at her, how could I resist?”, replied the grinning salesman sheepishly.

Just then the young woman approached the senior couple and gave the car keys to the old man. “There you go,” she said. “I told you I could get that idiot to lower the price. See you later Dad, Happy Father’s day.”

Once again … don’t mess with seniors.

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That really doesn’t surprise me at all.

I do truly hope you all got a chuckle, a laugh or a smile out of today’s issue.  Be well until we meet again.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

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No issue today

Working 16 hour shifts all week and all weekend. Will catch up next week. Sorry campers

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Dragon Laffs #1609

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Good Morning Campers,

It’s Sunday.  Yeah, for you guys, last Sunday.  It’s been a really difficult time and it’s affected (?)…effected (?) … I always get stuck on that one…let’s see, what was that rule?  Oh yeah, I remember:
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Okay, got it!  So, …. where was I?  Oh yeah… ahem… It’s been a really difficult time and it’s effected not only me, but my family, all of you campers, … anyway … I’m not going to rehash the difficulties I’m having, no …. my point is that I did something I haven’t done in a long time.  I’ve taken the day off from everything and done what I wanted to do. 

No, I’m not ignoring Mrs. Dragon.  Thankfully she is sleeping quite well and resting.  I’m available if she needs me.

And Izzy Dragon is locked in her own little world today, but it’s okay, they know her there.

I shut off the TV, the phone, all the rest of that crap and read for a while, then I got a little antsy and turned on some music.  MY music.  Something I haven’t done in a long time.  And then I made a complete ass of myself!  It’s been so much damn fun! 

With Papa Dragon Most Senior being a musically prodigy, and I mean that in all seriousness, he started playing as a kid, self-taught and has been playing professionally up until last year when he just couldn’t anymore.  Sax, clarinet and flute, but in all honesty I’ve seen him play all kinds of instruments.  Anyway, considering all that, it probably comes as a HUGE surprise to find that I have NO musical talent.  None.  I couldn’t carry a tune in a hand basket to hell, with help.   Why is it that those of us who love music the most can’t do anything with it?

Well, today, that didn’t stop me.  You guys remember that scene with Tom Cruise in his underwear and socks where he slides into the room lip syncing to Bob Seger’s Old Time Rock and Roll in Risky Business?  Yeah, well compared to me today that was calm and understated.

And before any of you ask, no, there are no recordings or pictures.  You would truly be horrified, so be thankful…BUT MY POINT in all of this, is what a mood enhancer it’s been!  My voice is hoarse, my body hurts, but my spirits are soaring!  Hugely, highly recommended.

All my problems are still here.  And I still care, but it almost seems easier to deal with…almost.

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So, someone asked, “What’s a dragon’s playlist like?”

It’s got a little bit of everything.  Songs that I like because I like them, not because they are anything else.  Very eclectic.  Okay, so the best I can do is put the next randomly selected songs down as they are played.  Right now it’s Whipping Post by the Allman Brothers.

Oh, and speaking of music, anybody out there have a digital copy of  Grace Slick’s solo album, Dreams?  Two songs on there I really love, The title track Dreams and the second song, Diablo.  Neither Itunes or Amazon has it.

Barenaked Ladies, If I had 1,000,000 Dollars.

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Crosby, Stills, and Nash – Just a Song Before I Go

Another medical breakthrough.

A couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.

Upon their arrival, the doctor said that the hospital was testing an amazing new high-tech machine that would transfer a portion of the mothers labor pain to the baby’s father.
He asked if they were interested.  Both said they were very much in favor of it.

The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.

But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch.

The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer.  The husband was still feeling fine.  The doctor then checked the husbands blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing.

At this point they decided to try for 50%.  The husband continued to feel quite well.

Since the pain transfer was obviously helping the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.

The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain and the husband continued to experience no pain.  She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they got home they found the mailman dead on the porch.

Alice Cooper – Only Women Bleed

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Gawd, that was awful on so many levels.

Alan Parson’s Project – Games People Play

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Rhythm of the Falling Rain by The Cascades

Ain’t No Sunshine by Bill Withers

War Pigs – Black Sabbath

Breakdown Ahead – Boz Scaggs

Okay, that’s enough, I guess you guys get the idea. Kind of an eclectic mix, right?

Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?

Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question: You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock Cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do? 1) Democrat’s Answer: Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor! Or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few weeks and try to come to a consensus and AAARGH! 2) Republican’s Answer: BANG! 3)Southern Republican’s Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click …(sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click Daughter: Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those my Winchester Silver Tips or Mom’s Hollow Points? Son: Git-R-Dun Pop! Can I do the next one? Wife: You ain’t taking THAT to the taxidermist!

 

I’m pretty sure I’m part Southern Republican.

 

 

What’s wrong with this picture?

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Well, above and beyond the hilarious spelling error, it’s right

in front of my work building. That’s right folks, that’s a

product of a proud Air Force Civilian Employee.


Laziness (n.) – Risking to drop everything you carry rather than walking twice.

Web MD (n.) – Something that makes a mild cold into a deadly disease that will kill you within 24 hours.

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Poor (adj.) When you have too much month left at the end of your money

Vegetarian (n.) – A bad hunter.  Someone who survives by consuming not food, but the stuff that food eats.

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Calories (n.) – Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night.

Irish Handcuffs (n.) – When a person is carrying an alcoholic beverage in both hands at the same time.

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I don’t know, but that makes pretty much sense to me.  How else is the fire going to get out?

Feet (n.) – A device used for finding Legos in the dark.

That’s nice (phr.) – What you say when you’re talking on the phone and you zone out in the middle of the other person’s story.

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Money can’t buy happiness (phr.) – A saying created by poor people to help curb their jealousy of the rich.

Relationship (n.) – The ability to put up with someone’ else’s bullshit, usually of the opposite sex, for a very long period of time.

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Orgasm (n.) – The meaning of life.

English (n.) – A language that lurks in dark alleys, beats up other languages and rifles through their pockets for spare vocabulary.

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Cell phone (n.) – A device used for looking less alone while in public places by yourself.

Single (n.) – A man who makes jokes about women in the kitchen.

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Definitely Democratic thinking.

Synonym (n.) – A word used in the place of the one you can’t spell.

Balanced diet (n.) – One cheeseburger in each hand.

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Five Unshakeable Facts
1. A girl is said to be grown up when she starts wearing a bra. A boy is grown up when he starts removing it.
2. We all love to spend lots of money buying new clothes but we never realize that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes.
3. Having a cold drink on hot day with a few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks – PRICELESS.
4. Breaking News: Condoms don’t guarantee safe sex anymore. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman’s husband.
5. Arguing over a girl’s bust size is like choosing between Molson, Heineken, Carlsberg, and Budweiser. Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.

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I got kicked out of the hospital.
Apparently the sign “Stroke Patients Here” meant something completely different than I assumed.

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I am going to end this issue with this friggin’ awesome story.  Thank you Ginny, another Jerseyite who knows that anything or anyone from Jersey can be amazing!
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A real estate sign that was washed away during Hurricane Sandy just showed up in France.

Diane Turton Realtors of Point Pleasant posted a photo to their Facebook page of one of their rental signs lying on the beach in France. How it got there is a truly incredible story.

The sign was discovered by beachgoer Hannes Frank on the shores of Bordeaux, France. The Diane Turton Realtors sign belonged to the Wall branch and was most likely from one of their waterfront listings.  It’s believed that the sign was washed away during Hurricane Sandy and made the impossible journey all by itself from the Garden State to France.

Friggin’ awesome!

Cheers!

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A Dragon Laffs Update

Update

Good Morning Campers,

It’s 1030pm and I just walked in the door from working all day.  I haven’t been working at my regular job, but working at everything else of which I haven’t been able to do because of my regular job.  But, since I went on line to find out the latest, I thought I’d share it with you. 

5:50 p.m.

An Indiana congresswoman says a teacher who stopped a school shooting has been released from a hospital.

U.S. Rep Susan Brooks says she met Saturday with Jason Seaman at the Noblesville, Indiana, school where the shooting occurred Friday. She says Seaman is a “hero teacher” who stopped the violence.

Seaman and a student were shot by another student at Noblesville West Middle School. Ella Whistler’s family says she’s in critical but stable condition.

Seaman is credited with knocking a gun away and tackling the shooter.

So, the hero-teacher, Jason Seaman has been released from the hospital.  That’s pretty damn good for someone who’d been shot three times. On the other hand, Ella Whistler, who’s picture is in the header, is in critical, but stable condition.  Keep praying campers.

I also thought I’d share some of the comments I’ve received…

From my adopted mom, Diaman:

“Excellent issue today…very well said…very well done.  It should be printed in every newspaper in the country and every magazine.  I loved every well expressed word.”

Thanks mom, that really means a lot.

Next, from my brother, Lethal Leprechaun:

“Couldn’t have said it better myself Impish.
Probably more long-windedly but not better.
Good on ya mate!”

Thanks brother. You saying that is important to me…and I appreciate it.  I also appreciate the text messages.  Let’s try and talk tomorrow.

Next is from Rodney:

“Super rant.  Everything that needs to be said.”

Thank you Rodney.  I don’t know that it’s everything, but it doesn’t do any good if no one does anything.  All of you parents out there, please talk to your kids, talk to your school administrators.  We need to get this worked out.

Tom W. says:

“Great rant.  I really appreciate you and the work you do with Laffs and the full time work you do with the military. (apparently)”

Thanks Tom.  Although I’m not really sure what the (apparently) means. 

For those of you who don’t know, my work with the military has now reached 25 years as of yesterday…well…Friday.  I spent 12 years active duty in the Air Force as a Weapons Mechanic, which was then changed to the worst acronym in the military.  Aircraft Armament Systems Specialist – A ASS.  Pretty appropriate.

Then I made one of those bone-head decisions that you look back on and regret … I got out because they pissed me off.  Long story for another time.

After another 12 years of working restaurants, I got a job as a civilian cop working for the Air Force on a 1 year temporary assignment that lasted 2 years.  See, a month after 911, with Izzy Dragon being a month old (she was born the day before 911) the company I worked for, since no one was spending money after 911 because everyone was worried about gas prices going through the roof, etc., went through every restaurant they owned and fired…I’m sorry … down-sized … the most expensive manager.  Nice, right?  They’ve since lost most of their restaurants. 

Anyway, after the Air Force said, “what the hell is this guy still doing here, he was supposed to be let go a year ago” I worked as a dispatcher for the State Police (and many other part-time jobs at the same time because although it was probably the best job I ever had, it was also the worst paying.

But that led to (eventually) the job I have now.  I am a civilian, back working with my Air Force brethren.  I am the Deputy Emergency Manager and a CBRNE Survival Instructor.  CBRNE being Chemical, Biological, Radiological, Nuclear, and high-yield Explosive.  Basically, I teach the military guys how to stay alive in crappy environments.  In June I will have been doing that for 11 years.  So yeah, apparently, I do work full time for the military.

roflmao2

Okay, so I got off on a tangent there. 
sorry
And finally, and most appropriately, giving her the last word…at least in the comments, Ginny says:

“I agree with every word you said…this is not an acceptable way of living with school children being killed in their classrooms.”

Yeah, it is not acceptable.  Not acceptable at all.

So, that’s it.  Kind of an odd update, but my mind and my emotions are going along about Mach 5, but I know that you all will take it for what it’s worth.

Love  you all and thanks for all your prayers.

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