Leprechaun Laughs # 351 for July 27th 2016

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Morning folks!

I’m coming to you from my makeshift equivalent of the Oval Office which we’ve taken to calling the Covered U Deck. That’s another of my islands the sun is setting behind on the horizon and the disturbance in the water is actually one of the local indigenous semi mythical creatures with whom I’ve reached an agreement on patrol keeping my little Green Democratic Republic safe from waterborne threats. I should probably mention that in this photo he’s actually about 20 feet below the surface and he goes by.

Creation of infrastructure and general improvements are proceeding well. I’ve opened immigration to Veterans of all services with special consideration shown to our wounded warriors and homeless Veterans that want a hand up not a hand out.

The combination of their knowledge and skills coupled with the natives desire for a better life is proving nothing short of miraculous. Both in terms of positive changes to the habitat here but to both sets of people as well.

Well the ocean breezes tell me its just about dinner time here, I can smell the grilled seafood and meat as well as the fresh coffee. I’ve discovered coffee beans growing wild here that rival Kona coffee when properly roasted and the natives grow some tobacco which I think just might rival some of the Cuban and Honduran if cured properly so I have my first 2 artisan small batch crops for potential export.

There’s the dinner bell! Got to get to it while I can get a decent choice. Enjoy the issue.

 

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Personally with Hell Boy straightening out his procrastination proclivity, I’d give him about a 50/50 chance of being the dead body! I’ll even up that to 85% if he goes back the Hokey Pokey Clinic.

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A man was riding on a full bus minding his own business when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breast-feed her baby.
The baby wouldn’t take it so she said, “Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I’ll have to give it to this nice man next to us.”Five minutes later the baby was still not feeding, so she said, “Come on, honey. Take it or I’ll give it to this nice man here.”A few minutes later the anxious man blurted out, “Come on kid. Make up your mind ! I was supposed to get off four stops ago!!

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The Top 5 Songs of the Summer

Every summer the pop culture media goes nuts proclaiming the Song of the Summer.
Last year the consensus choice was “Can’t Feel My Face,” 2014 was “Happy” and 2013
was either “Get Lucky” or “Blurred Lines.”

  1. This Is What You Shaved For
  2. Tan by Your Man
  3. Smells Like Hawaiian Tropic SPF 30
  4. Rolling in the Deet

And the Number One Song of the Summer…

  1. Can’t Stop the Peeling

 

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Mungo Jerry – In The Summertime ORIGINAL 1970

 

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A woman and her 12-year-old son were riding in a taxi in Detroit. It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under awnings.”Mom,” said the boy, “what are all those women doing ?” They’re waiting for their husbands to get off work,” she replied.The taxi driver turns around and says, “Geez lady, why don’t you tell him the truth ? They’re hookers, boy! They have sex with men for money.”

The little boy’s eyes get wide and he says, “Is that true Mom ? “His mother, glaring hard at the driver, answers “Yes”.After a few minutes the kid asks, “Mom, if those women have babies, what happens to them ? She said, ” Most of them become taxi drivers ! ”

 

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That Van Damme guy hasn’t got anything on me!

 

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Never mind Pokémon, gotta catch all the babes!

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Zac Brown Band – Toes

 

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Why Are We Killing Each Other?

 

What’s the Matter with ‘All Lives Matter’

David Bedrick  Huffington Post 8/24/2015 07:55 am 07:55:26 | Updated Aug 24, 2015

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George Zimmerman, a white male neighborhood watchman, shot and killed Trayvon Martin, a black male youth. Zimmerman was charged, tried, and acquitted in July 2013. In the aftermath, a grassroots movement began titled Black Lives Matter.

Black Lives Matter is working to “broaden the conversation” around race from the legal system and black poverty to the burdens on black women, children, black queer and trans folks, and blacks with disabilities.

In response, some white folks have countered with the phrase, “All Lives Matter.” While this is seemingly a more empowering as well as a diversity affirming response, it is neither.

In the Shadow of ‘All Lives Matter’

1. In the shadow of ‘All Lives Matter’ is a form of willful colorblindness — the erasure of the issue of race.

When people say “All Lives Matter” in response to “Black Lives Matter,” they are not simply opening their arms to the greater diversity of humanity. Instead, they are taking race out of the conversation. While the statement masquerades as a bright and inclusive light, in the shadow of this statement hides a willful ignorance of America’s racist past and present.

There is not doubt that racism exists today. The research evidence is vast, clear and widely available from differential stop and frisk rates, sentencing levels and job hiring.

A most telling statistic about the difference in the lack of valuation of a black life comes from a study conducted by Allan Collard-Wexler, an NYU Stern School economist: “[T]he cost of adopting a black baby needs to be $38,000 lower than the cost of a white baby, in order to make parents indifferent to race.”

Adding insult to injury, asserting that all lives matter in response to black folks declaring that black lives matter, turns our eyes away from acknowledging America’s racist past, functioning as a form of dismissal or denial.

Through the constitution, slavery and Jim Crow laws, America stood for the belief that some lives were more human, more worthy — that some live mattered more. How can we forget that America codified in its constitution (the same constitution that some insist must be strictly and literally interpreted in its original form) the notion that a black life was only considered to be 3/5ths of a white life?

If we stop highlighting and focusing on black lives, but instead focus more globally and generally on all lives, then we become complicit in not seeing color as a factor in American life. Putting it simply, if we erase race, we won’t see racism.

2. In the shadow of ‘All Lives Matter’ lurks the privilege white folks have to not experience their own lives in racial terms.

Let’s face it, most white people don’t regularly think about themselves as white. We are not made to think about our race, because we are not living in a pervasive systemic atmosphere that injures us because of our skin color. As such, we easily think of ourselves as a “just a person,” as a human being belonging to the human family.

But when a person is regularly injured because of a quality, it is veritably impossible to enjoy the luxury of ignoring that quality. As a Jewish man, my Eastern European brothers and sisters could not ignore the fact that they were Jewish. If they “forgot,” they were quickly reminded! Women in boardrooms, disabled people getting on a bus, gay teens at a high school dance, and black youth in a school cafeteria are all aware of their social identity; straight white able bodied males ignore their social identity.

They enjoy the privilege of being free from that concern. (See also Beverly Daniel Tatum’s masterwork, Why Are All The Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?)

When a white person responds to the statement “Black Lives Matter” by countering with “All Lives Matter” they exhibit a blindness to the privilege of living outside of a painful and marginalizing lens that highlights their race; a privilege not enjoyed by black and brown people.

In the words of Jarune Uwujaren, “[I]f you have trouble seeing race or are tired of people making things about race, realize that if they could, most people of color would ignore race too.”

3. In the shadow of ‘All Lives Matter’ is an aggressive resistance to focusing on the value of black lives.

The statement, “All Lives Matter” did not arise in a vacuum. It was not born of a passion for the value of all life; it is not a world-wide social movement for justice. It was a response, a retort, a counter-point to the statement “Black Lives Matter.” While not everyone utters these words with this intent, the phrase nonetheless functions as a dismissal.

As such, we cannot only evaluate it purely in terms of its accuracy (i.e, “Isn’t it true that all lives matter? Wouldn’t it be good to live in a world where all lives mattered?”) or as a general statement of care for all beings, including black beings. It is not simply said as a matter of truth or a statement of values. Instead, it’s a rebuttal to the statement “Black Lives Matter.”

Instead of communicating a love for all beings, “All Lives Matter” are words of negation, repudiation, and refutation. They are words of debate; they are fighting words. What are the users of these words fighting? Simple: That Black lives matter!

On a personal note, beyond all logical argument, I confess to having my tears flow and my heart melt when I first went to the Black Lives Matter website and found recorded black voices completing the phrase “In a world where black lives matter, I imagine….” One particular recording was made by Satchel, a four year old black boy, whose sweet giggling joy erupted when he said, “In a world where black lives matter, I imagine there’s a lot of tickling.”

In a world that would resist or belittle the declaration that Black Lives Matter, that would censor those who speak out for the beauty, power, intelligence and moral authority of black people, I fear there would be far too many black children doing a lot less smiling, laughing and giggling and a lot more hungering for food, safety, and a sense of self worth.

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Funeral Procession for Senior Corporal Lorne Ahrens one of the Slain Dallas Police Officers

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Infowars Reporter Joe Biggs Found this video on Twitter. It’s of a Man named Terrence Williams Going off on Black Lives Matter in what might be one of the best rants of the year.

Uncensored American Goes Off On Black Lives Matter

 

Keep Calm

Well boys and girls that’s it for this week because the sun has indeed set and its time for this leprechaun to  follow the examples of Chesney and Kracker- namely to stop working and start partying until the sun comes up.

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I leave you with a weeping dragon who still hasn’t found an angle or excuse to wheedle himself a Visa to Leprechonia despite his best (second rate) efforts. OH! That reminds me! I almost forgot!

What you see there Impish is an honest to God leviathan, sort of a non mythical current day version of a Megalodon shark  that lived approximately 23 to 2.6 million years ago, during the Cenozoic Era. That is just one of four that call the waters off Leprechonia home.

I’ve arranged an…accommodation with them, no tour boats, no swim with the big fish, certain Eco friendly concessions and in turn they protect my island group from water borne threats. Threats like say, dragons trying to swim their way in.

Kenny Chesney – When The Sun Goes Down

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Dragon Laffs #1497

Dragon Laffs3
Campers

So, I get home from my mundane job, in the mythical world of humans and I’m ready to put this issue to the presses…and what happens?  I have no internet!

It seems we had some power outages and the router never recovered.  So, I spent the next 3 hours on the phone with my internet provider, not mentioning any names here (cough! AT&T cough!).

Saturday night or Monday.

WHAT!!!

I immediately ran to the darkest, deepest closet I could find.  I knew that Hell Boy and Silvia were on there way.  All Lethal had to do was find out and I was sunk.

But, I couldn’t let you guys hang, so I called him.  I figured I’d try and slip it in the conversation, maybe I could get him worried about something else and slip it in.

“Uh…hey, Lethal…Yeah, it’s Impish”

“No.  You can’t have any extra time.  I just got off the phone with the printers and they say you haven’t gotten your issue to them yet and they want to get it to print and come back to the island.  Now, do I have to have Hell Boy come give you a talking to?”

“About that. … the island that is… I…um … I’m coming out to the island.”

Well, Lethal laughed like crazy.  It went on for several minutes.  Then he finally managed to squeak out, “No…just no. Now, tell me what’s really going on.”

“They said the router is out of sync and it won’t be fixed until Saturday night or Monday and there’s nothing I can do about it.”  After this I wheeled my chair to the closet and locked myself in.

“Is that all….here’s what you do…  You know what, you can’t be trusted.  Let me talk to the Izzy Dragon.”

They talked for a couple of minutes and she said sure, she’ll take care of it and hung up the phone.  Then she turned to me and said, “Dad, you owe me big!”

Ten minutes later, the internet was back on, and when I asked her what she did, all she would tell me was that Uncle Lethal said to tell you that I uploaded an NSYNC album and it fixed the sync problem with the router.

Now, I know that won’t work…

Will it?

Shit! 

Let's Laugh

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Okay, so yeah.  This actually belongs in the “You Can’t Fix Stupid” Category, but I thought it was SO INCREDIBLY STUPID that it deserved the premier spot as the first laugh.

Okay…so, I said down and had a long talk with myself and things didn’t go so well.  Now, I’m grounded.

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Oh my gawd!  I need to do that at work!

Leadership
This is great advice and something, when I was managing restaurants I’d try to teach my assistant managers, although not with quite this finesse.
Be decisive.
Right or wrong, make a decision.
The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision.
I always told my managers, “Make a decision.  Right or wrong.  If it’s right you did good.  If it’s wrong, you learned a lesson.  There isn’t anything you can do in this restaurant, that I can’t fix or undo.” And I think that helped a lot.  Giving someone who works for/with you permission to make mistakes is critical to not only being a good leader, but having a successful organization.  Organizations with a “one mistake mentality.” Meaning screw up once and you’re outta here!  Those kinds of places don’t last long.  Or they are government run.
I know, you just saw Hillary and lots of other high profile government employees make all kinds of mistakes, actually doing the wrong thing on purpose, and not getting in any trouble.
I’m talking about the younger peons.  Making one mistake can get you fired, really easily.
Or in the military.  There is a thing called an “Article 15” which references that article in the UCMJ (Uniform Code of Military Justice) which allows for non-judicial punishment for some offenses for someone who is worth saving.  That would be an excellent example of NOT having a “One Mistake Mentality” and that’s the way it used to be when I was a young airman.
But, that’s not the way it is now.
Nowadays, you can still get an “Article 15” but it’s pretty much a career killer.  You will now no longer be able to attain the highest ranks and if that was your goal, it is lost.
Very few people can recover from an “Article 15” and if you are an NCO…for get it.  It will follow you around and someone else will always be selected before you.
Not like the old days.  Not when I was a young man and had…well…let’s say more than a couple of “Article 15s”.
Two of my favorites (yes, that means there were more than 2) were for calling a captain a twit (she deserved it and that was only what I said loud enough for anyone to hear, what I said below my breath would be bleeped out in a PG rated movie) and the second was for sword fighting in the dorms.
No, I won’t describe that one.  I’ll leave that one for another lesson.

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I have a relative (let’s just leave the description at that) who is a vegan and somehow I think this particular person would love these.
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Okay, so now I ask for your help.  This monstrosity was on my window when I came home the other day.

When I prodded it with a pen, it grabbed ahold hard with those giant pinchers in the front. 

Total length is about 4-5 inches and when I finally prodded it enough to get it to fly off, it kinda flew like a cross between a dragonfly and a hummingbird.

It was pretty damn weird.  I’ve been on this earth for almost 58 years and this is the first time I’ve seen anything like this bug.

(If it is a bug.  Maybe it’s a baby dragon!)

I guess it just goes to show you that you’re never too  old to see something new.

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I can honestly say, with no doubt in my mind, that when we were younger, myself, Lethal, Ginny and Diaman would totally have done this.

A prostitute went to see a psychiatrist.
 
When he asked her to lie down on his couch, she replied, “I’ve been working all day. Do you mind if I stand?”
 
One intimate question led to another, and soon they were both lying down and screwing like rabbits.
 
When it was over, they were both quiet for a moment and then commented simultaneously, “That’ll be two hundred dollars, please!”

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Dragon Pix

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A wonderful, artist’s rendition of my cousin Vinnie.  Yeah, I know, but he’s a Jersey Dragon, so what do you want?

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Okay, so this next one is from Ginny and it’s a grade A…Groan

It just so happens that Princess Di and Dolly Parton make it to the gates of Heaven on the same day.

Saint Peter meets them at the gates and tells them that there is only one opening to be had so they needed to give their best reason why they should be admitted to Heaven.

Dolly opens her shirt to reveal her magnificent breasts and tells Saint Peter to take a good look.

“Have you ever seen such a marvelous sight as these that God gave me?  Surely these alone should be reason enough to admit me through these gates”.

Princess Di just pulls out a bottle of seltzer water, shakes it, shoves it up her privates and lets fly with the foaming water.

Saint Peter opens the gates and directs Princess Di to enter.

Dolly is incensed and says to Saint Peter “How could you let her enter???  I show you these marvelous breasts and she does an obscene act yet you let her enter before me?”

“Sorry Dolly,” says Saint Peter “but you know that a Royal Flush beats a pair any day.”

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In case you don’t realize it.  The little smilie is doing a rim shot.  Now, if you don’t know what THAT is…then here’s a demonstration.

So now you know.

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Yeah, there’s a LOT of good reasons for that…but I ain’t going into that here.  We’ll be here all day.

 

Now a quick video that should win the cuteness of the year award.

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Fantasy

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This special picture is from Ginny’s collection.  She says it is one of her relatives, but won’t tell me who, give me her phone number or tell me how to get a hold of her.  That’s really not fair.

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Four old timers were playing their weekly game of golf, one remarked how nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed and without an argument go directly to the golf course, meet his buddies and play a round.

His buddies all chimed in said, “Let’s do it! We’ll make it a priority. Figure out a way and meet here early on Christmas morning.”

Months later, that special morning arrives, and there they are on the golf course. The first guy says, “Boy this game cost me a fortune! I bought my wife a diamond ring that she can’t take her eyes off of.”

The second guy says, “I spent a ton too. My wife is at home planning the cruise I gave her. She was up to her eyeballs in brochures.” 

The third guy says “Well my wife is at home admiring her new car, reading the manual.”

They all turned to the last guy in the group who is staring at them like they have lost their minds.

“I can’t believe you all went to such expense for this golf game. I slapped my wife on the bum and said, ‘Well babe, Merry Christmas! It’s a great morning — so what do you think? intercourse or golf course?’

She said: “Don’t forget your hat.

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              An 8-year-old girl went to Impish Dragon, who was working in the yard and asked him, “Grandpa, what is a couple sex?
The blue dragon was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she’s old enough to know to ask the question then she’s old enough to get a straight answer.
Steeling himself to leave nothing out, he proceeded to tell her all about human reproduction and the joys and responsibilities that go along with it.
When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open, eyes wide in amazement.
Seeing the look on her face the grandfather asked her, “Why did you ask this question, honey?
The little girl replied, “Well, Grandma says to tell you that dinner will be ready in just a couple secs.

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Critter

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I can’t help but think that this might be one of Lethal Leprechaun’s Ninja Kitties.

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And possibly this one knocking over the cards, too.

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Here’s a very special School project from a young man who I am proud to say, comes from my adopted home state of Indiana.

 Boy Creates A Flag For A Class
Assignment.
But No One Expected THIS!
By Kosar

american flag
The men and women who serve America in the military deserve our full respect and support. They risk their lives
around the world to keep us safe.  Soldiers are why America is free.  And when we have the chance to take care
of veterans, we MUST always do so.
 
Jacob, a young man from Indiana, designed an American flag for a school art project. What he did is going viral
in a BIG WAY!  Can you see what the fuss is about?  As was posted
on Facebook:
american flag
There are 4,466 army soldiers on the flag, painted red, white, and blue. It took more than 52 hours and took place
in freezing weather.  Here’s a closer look:
american flag
american flag
What a great way to honor the troops!  Jacob deserves an A+ for his art project.

Outstanding work!

Political

It’s time once again for another poke at the people who sit in Washington and think of ways to screw the rest of us…
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That’s very, very true…but it won’t matter. 

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There really isn’t anything else to say when that sums it all up perfectly.

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I couldn’t have said it better myself, Clint.

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4d

“Honey.  The house is a total loss.  We have to move.”

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Everybody remembers the movie “Back To The Future” and most everybody remembers Michael J. Fox playing this song in the movie and here he is, coming on stage with Cold Play to shred it again.

Wow! Just…Wow!

Okay, so that really leaves us moving right into…
Motivational

limp biscuit

Lingerie

Linux

listen cow

Literacy

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That is an awesome excuse!  I’m gonna use that tomorrow…on my only day off this week.  That’s going to be me.  Getting recharged…that is … so long as Mrs. Dragon doesn’t have anything to say about it.

Maybe …. I’ll just go to work, so I can recharge there.

Nah!

It’s time to put this one to bed.  I hope you all have a wonderful week until we meet again.

Cheers Impish

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Leprechaun Laughs #350 for July 20th 2016

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As you begin filing into the Conference Room you hear wheat appears to be a wheedling session between Impish who is on stage and the disembodied voice of Lethal who is apparently on speaker phone.

(In his best wheedling and whining tone) Please? I can be anyplace in the world in under 12 hours. Come on buddy, share the womanly wealth with your best pal!

NO! And no you cannot be anyplace in the world in under 12 hours! Need I remind you again for the eighth time in this conversation that your flight status and pilots license have been revoked? You are GROUNDED until after the Labor Day holiday, both here and in the mythical world.

But you’re my lawyer! Do something! I saw the last bill of lading for the  supplies you ordered. An entire pallet of five gallon pails of Coconut oil sunscreen! That’s 6 buckets full!

Besides I heard you’ve got a portal working there now just give me the  Rune Address, I promise to tell practically nobody, and I don’t even need to fly I’ll be there in a heart beat literally.

Sorry not happening. You don’t have a Visa for travel into Leprechonia and besides I’m trying to get things accomplished and win the hearts and minds of the local populace so they’ll work for me, not spending my time chasing after a hedonistic libido driven Dragon run amuck because his pal owns the islands.

COME ON! Lethal, I’m begging you here!

Terrance is out learning assertiveness with Hell Boy and one or both of them might be back anytime and then they’ll chain me up so I can’t sneak off, hurt me again if I don’t do things promptly and miss deadlines or even worse!

Worse?

Impish practically whispers after glancing at all of you-

When he was pushing my wheel chair Hell Boy said I was packing on the pounds again and it wasn’t even Thanksgiving or the Holiday Season yet. He threatened to make me choose between going on a diet here or going back to…to the Hokey Pokey Clinic to see the Sadistic Sargent for 6 weeks!

Sorry pal. You procrastinated your way into this, you’ll just have to dragon up and do your time. Besides when I left Friday made me promise not to leave her holding the bag of Corporate Responsibility. She also made me promise she and her sisters could all come down as soon as Terrance got back to ride herd on you for two weeks of working on her all over tan and coconut oil massages. Like it or not you’re staying put. Don’t make me hire Hell Boy and his favorite nurse Sylvia Sphinx to take care of you while I’m out of the office.

Beside according to you the whole basis of your ‘it wasn’t procrastination this time it was scheduling conflicts’ defense is that you’re too wrapped up and busy with your IRL life to do anything in a timely manner. Well if you’re too busy to take and hour to fill out a form, you’re too busy to take a multi day get away fun in the sun sex pretty much anywhere at anytime mini vacation.

Impish’s jaw hangs silently open at the triple impact of this threat, being hoisted so neatly on his own defense’s logic and the revelation that Friday and her named after the other days of the week sisters were all leaving to go be with Lethal while he was denied.

Lethal seize this opportunity to severe the call and commence presentation of the issue:

<Screen comes to life as you all  sit down>

Morning folks!

No I’m not back yet as you can see I’m still in Leprechonia where the views are simply , well stupendously amazing.

(Impish can be heard on stage grumbling under his breath)

Did I say 72 hour getaway?

Yeah, about that-

I might have meant a 7 week and 2 day get away. This interestingly enough co-incises with the ending of the 9 weeks penalty closing of our airstrip for Impish filing his In Flight Incident report egregiously late. As it looks now I should be back just in time for the Labor Day issue and End of Summer Party.

(Lethal pauses a moment for the loud sigh and sudden fainting collapse of Impish from his wheelchair to the stage floor)

What’s going on in the banner photo you ask? Well, first of all I have to quickly buy a bunch of helicopters to met the logistical needs of ferrying people and materials from different boats to the island and between islands until we get the infrastructure up to snuff.

My last guest, Morríghan had no sooner helped me with the basics of Mythical Portal construction then she had to leave to go represent herself as Goddess of Doom & Death in Battle after all the recent violent events in the world this last week. The proprieties must be observed at all times after all.

To my surprise on the next black chopper in (actually all the new ones are black at the moment, black primer. Eventually they’ll get the green gold and orange livery of Lepreconia painted on them when their not quite so busy bringing fair maidens and lustful ladies key personal, dignitaries, equipment and supplies in) brought in another temporary companion for me, in the guise of Maeve whom you see above.

Maeve is a warrior Goddess of Ireland. She was said to have been worshiped at the ancient mystical site of Tara. Her name is translated to mean “intoxicated woman”. She is also a Goddess of sovereignty, fertility, personal power and of the earth.

I’m going to be a gentleman and draw your own conclusions regarding which of her aspects she was here to represent and wither she is dressing our undressing in the photo moments after her arrival.

(Impish who had been coming around hears this moans loudly again and begins banging his head on the stage repeatedly making most items on the stage bounce as well. Thin wisps of smoke can faintly be seen apparently emanating from his ears)

Well as I expected its getting too noisy for me to continue after that last revelation, so I’m going to go since you have an issue to get to and I have a Goddess of flawless figure and skin demanding that I carefully apply coconut oil sunscreen to her using only my beard.

Lethal pauses expectantly and is evidently not disappointed as Impish lets out a high pitched scream of frustration. which momentarily has you covering your ears while K Squared momentarily roused from his post breakfast nap mumbles “ ‘Bout time people spoke up round here.” Before returning to softly snoring.

(Lethal grins broadly, obviously well pleased with his taunting of Impish)

What can I say? When I was born in addition to being blessed by it being decided I’d be Irish, God gave me the choice between a photographic memory and being legendary at sex. Begorrah! Now I’ve clean forgotten what I was going to tell you!

OH! As I was going to say- Gotta go! Duty no matter how tedious it might seem calls!

Impish, now openly sobbing, begins kicking his feet in a frustrated temper tantrum. The sharp return shocks of pain from his broken and casted appendages make him scream and cry in genuine anguish until Ginny and Diamen approach him. While Ginny distracts him by flashing him and giggling he goodies enticingly Diamen stealthily sneaks up behind him while attempting to conceal something from him. Just as Impish is realizing he can no longer see her and turns to see what she is doing she lunges with a pointed pole that looks like a shark stick and seemingly injects Impish with something.

“A NEEDLE?! I HATE NEE…… heeehee needles….ahhh…mmmm….zzzzz”

Lethal’s final words to you as he appears to me looking at his own monitor rather than the camera are: “Don’t worry he’ll be fine. Oh he’ll still be in a foul mood when he wakes up but in far less less pain. I may be a bastard and I may be heartless ,but to my friends and family I’ve never been a heartless bastard. I say that for my enemies and Liberals.

See you next week. Enjoy!”

Let's Roll 28

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Come to the Dark Side- we’ve got Italian Roast with cream or Bailey’s and 4 kinds of Biscotti!

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DAT’s JUST COOL!

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If you don’t get the reference you’re probably too young for this blog kid.

 

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Molly’s Nephew. He raised such a fuss last time he was here over my V for Vendetta mask that I gave it up to get peace and quiet. Apparently its his prized possession. I told my Brother in Law we should keep a close eye on that one, especially if he starts showing an interest in knives.

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Molly nearly killed me when I put this on our car. You should see all the speculative looks I get from MILFs and Cougars in the shopping center parking lots now!

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After recovering from his testing of the Peachcomber recipe Impish complained that my drink recipes should come with a warning about their potential for damaging your sobriety.

Right or wrong he made me realize most of you aren’t Mythical, Irish or even  Jersey party girls and that he might just have a point. Hence the temporary name change for this section until I can make a graphic similar to the Weak Knees Warning one.

Fair warning given, there are two things you should know about Tequila.

a.) Tequila in Spanish translates “Liquid Amnesia” (see video below for explanation)

b.) There is a very on point adage about tequila that everyone would do well to remember:

1 Tequila, 2 Tequila, 3 Tequila, FLOOR!

Fair warning given, enjoy the drink, but only in moderation.

 

Cucumber Watermelon Margaritas

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Prep Time: 10 minutes

Cook Time: 0 minutes

Total Time: 10 minutes

Serves 4 People

 

 

 

Ingredients

1 cucumber, peeled & seeded
3 cup(s) watermelon, seeded & chopped
1 cup(s) tequila
1/2 cup(s) sugar
1/4 cup(s) lime juice

Instructions

1. Place all ingredients in a blender and purée until smooth.

2. Pour blender contents through a fine strainer placed over a bowl. Use a spatula to push some of the particles through the strainer.

3. Once liquid has been strained, discard contents of strainer.

4. Pour mixture over ice and serve

SHELLY WEST JOSE CUERVO

 

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Now I don’t know about you, but I’m thinking this could have easily been avoided if they’d just cleaned the grill once or twice in all that time!

The Ohio Players – Fire

 

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This week I turn my soap box over to a  seventeen year veteran of the Detroit Police Department with a message for us all.

However before I do I’d like to express a thought on this subject that I have been ruminating on for as long as there has been the phrase “Black Lives Matter”.

Taking a page from those same ‘black lives’ let me express this in their vernacular so they can’t miss my point. “Don’t be startin’ nuthin’, won’t be nuthin’ “.  If the majority of blacks stopped by Police regardless of reason/probable cause/racial profiling acted towards police in a calm, civilized and co-operative manner then there would likely not be the number of officer involved shootings of black men that sparked the whole “Black Live Matter” protest. (Black on black shootings wouldn’t go down, but apparently  the BLM movement doesn’t see this as a problem it should be addressing or as acceptable, which if you ask me is damned hypocritical of them.)

Instead they view themselves as above the law and should the get stopped or caught it their racially given right to flee, riot, attempt the assault of, or shoot at police officers with the mindset that they should not be held accountable for their actions because they are black.

I call BULLSHIT on this loudly and proudly.  If that makes me racist fine so be it. Honestly we’ve been appeasing the black community with governmental entitlements, hand outs instead of hand ups and continuing a legacy of failed social programs for so long I’m no longer sure we’re not at least partially responsible for their attitude and behavior towards authority.

Let me relinquish my soap box and introduce you to Merri McGregor  who will expound her first hand view of Black/Blue lives matter for us.

Cop has a message the world needs now more than ever

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In the midst of last week’s tragic police shooting in Dallas, a former Detroit police officer took to Facebook to speak out against violence — and her emotional post has now been shared more than 100,000 times. Merri McGregor posted a photo earlier this week of herself at age 21, on the day she graduated from the Detroit police academy. While the picture shared portrays her as elated, her career was anything but easy. In her own words:

“This is me at 21 years old. This is the day I graduated from the Detroit police academy at 4:00pm, went home and took a couple hour nap, woke up at 9:30 that night and reported to my first tour of duty at the 12th Precinct for midnight shift. Look at that smile on my face. I couldn’t have been more excited, more proud. Armed with my dad’s badge that he wore for 25 years on my chest, one of my mom’s sergeant stripe patches in my pocket, my lucky $2.00 bill tucked into my bulletproof vest, a gun I was barely old enough to purchase bullets for on my hip and enough naive courage for a small army, I headed out the door…my mom snapped this photo on my way.

The next 17 years would bring plenty of shed blood, black eyes, torn ligaments, stab wounds, stitches, funerals, a head injury, permanent and irreparable nerve damage, 5 ruptured discs, some charming PTSD and depression issues and a whole lot of heartache. They brought missed Christmases with my family, my absence from friends’ birthday get-togethers, pricey concert tickets that were forfeited at the last minute because of a late call and many sleepless nights.

I’ve laid in wet grass on the freeway for three hours watching a team of burglars and orchestrating their apprehension, I’ve dodged gunfire while running down a dark alley in the middle of the night chasing a shooting suspect, I’ve argued with women who were too scared to leave their abusive husbands until they realized they had to or they would end up dead. I’ve peeled a dead, burned baby from the front of my uniform shirt, I’ve felt the pride of putting handcuffs on a serial rapist and I’ve cried on the chest of and kissed the cheek of my dead friend, coworker and academy classmate even though it was covered in his own dried blood and didn’t even look like him from all the bullet holes. I know what a bullet sounds like when it’s whizzing past your ear, a few inches away, I know what the sound of a Mother’s shrilling scream is like when she finds out her son has been killed in the middle of the street and I know what it’s like to have to tell a wife and mother of 3 that her husband was killed in a car accident while on his way home from work.”

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“Smells, pictures, sounds and sights are burned and engrained into our minds…things we can never forget, no matter how hard we try; things that haunt our sleep at night and our thoughts during the day; things that we volunteered to deal with so that you don’t have to. Things I don’t want my sister, little cousins or YOU to even have to KNOW about.

I never once went to work thinking, “I’m gonna beat someone tonight.”; “Hmmm…I think I’m gonna kill someone tonight.” I DID, however, go to work every night, knowing that I was going to do the best I could to keep good people safe, even if that meant that I died doing so.

We ALL need to start being more understanding and compassionate toward one another. Violence doesn’t cure violence and hate doesn’t cure hate. I’ve seen and experienced both sides of the spectrum since I left the PD and I get it. I truly do. But this all has to stop.

Are cops perfect? No. Are there bad cops? Yes. But please…understand that the vast majority of police are good, loving, well intentioned family people. They have husbands and wives and children and parents and pets and cousins and mortgages and electric bills and lawns that need cutting, just like you. They have hearts and consciences. They aren’t robots, they’re not machines and they just want to help keep the wolves away from the sheep. I KNOW there’s people who don’t deserve to wear the badge but they’re SO VERY few and far between. It breaks my heart to see all this hatred and anger flying around. All it’s doing is encouraging more of the same.

If you’ve read this far, thank you for listening. I’m not gonna sit here and tell you that if you hate or don’t support one side or the other, to unfriend me and never speak to me again…I hope those are the people who come straight TO me. Because I’ll be more than happy to hug you and pray or meditate with you. I’ll be more than happy to listen to your concerns and let you vent and empathize with your feelings. But then I’ll encourage you to help me find a solution to end all this nonsense because if we’re not part of the solution, we’re part of the problem. Love to all of you. ALL OF YOU. We’re all SO much better than this.”

Thanks , Merri! The world isn’t perfect and individuals of ALL walks of life are flawed and make mistakes. But we have to try to be better to each other and stop this senseless violence. If not world will be left for future generations?

Nearly 50 years ago a man foresaw these events occurring when the problems that face us today were still largely in their infancy and therefore being ignored.  He knew the solution to the problems facing us even back then.  He spoke about it, he even sang about it, but his words of wisdom fell on minds that while appreciative of the music proved largely deaf to the message behind it and his wisdom.

Sadly this talented and wise old man died shortly after so eloquently articulating his solution the the problems of hatred and violence that plague us now and his music and message have gone largely ignored by the following generations who never knew him.

Ladies and Gentleman (you too Impish) I give you the wisdom and music of Louis Armstrong:

Louis Armstrong – What A Wonderful World (Spoken Intro Version) ABC Records 1970

Louis Armstrong (August 4, 1901 — July 6, 1971), nicknamed Satchmo or Pops, was an American jazz trumpeter and singer from New Orleans, Louisiana.

“What a Wonderful World” [1970 Spoken Introduction Version] along with Oliver Nelson’s Orchestra is a song written by Bob Thiele (as George Douglas) and George David Weiss. It was first recorded by Louis Armstrong and released as a single in 1968. Thiele and Weiss were both prominent in the music world (Thiele as a producer and Weiss as a composer/performer). Armstrong’s recording was inducted in the Grammy Hall of Fame in 1999. Intended as an antidote for the increasingly racially and politically charged climate of everyday life in the United States, the song also has a hopeful, optimistic tone with regard to the future, with reference to babies being born into the world and having much to look forward to. The song was initially offered to Tony Bennett, who turned it down. Thereafter, it was offered to Louis Armstrong.

Armstrong died of a heart attack in his sleep on July 6, 1971 at the age of 69, 11 months after playing a famous show at the Waldorf-Astoria’s Empire Room. He was residing in Corona, Queens, New York City, at the time of his death. He was interred in Flushing Cemetery, Flushing, in Queens, New York City. His honorary pallbearers included Bing Crosby, Ella Fitzgerald, Dizzy Gillespie, Pearl Bailey, Count Basie, Harry James, Frank Sinatra, Ed Sullivan, Earl Wilson, Alan King, Johnny Carson and David Frost. Peggy Lee sang The Lord’s Prayer at the services while Al Hibbler sang “Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen” and Fred Robbins, a long-time friend, gave the eulogy.

Armstrong was posthumously awarded the Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award in 1972 by the Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences. This Special Merit Award is presented by vote of the Recording Academy’s National Trustees to performers who, during their lifetimes, have made creative contributions of outstanding artistic significance to the field of recording. Recordings of Armstrong were inducted into the Grammy Hall of Fame, which is a special Grammy award established in 1973 to honor recordings that are at least twenty-five years old, and that have “qualitative or historical significance.”

The spoken intro to the song:

“Some of you young folks been saying to me
” Hey Pops, what you mean ‘What a wonderful world’?

How about all them wars all over the place?
You call them wonderful?

And how about hunger and pollution?
That ain’t so wonderful either.”

Well how about listening to old Pops for a minute.
Seems to me, it aint the world that’s so bad
but what we’re doin’ to it.

And all I’m saying is see what a wonderful world
It would be if only we’d give it a chance.
Love baby, love. That’s the secret, yeah.
If lots more of us loved each other
we’d solve lots more problems.
And then this world would be gasser.

That’s wha’ ol’ Pops keeps saying.”

Amen Satchmo, my brother. Amen

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Clancy brothers and Tommy Makem – Whiskey, you`re the devil

 

Hey, whiskey you’re the devil You’re leading me astray
O’er hills and mountains into Amerikay
Your sweetness from the bleachner You’re spunkier than tea,
Ah, whiskey you’re me darlin’, drunk or so-ber

That’s all for this week folks, now if you’ll kindly excuse me satellite bandwidth is expensive until I buy one and I have to go greet an old friend with a special hug. You’ll see in a minute.

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Friday just arrived ahead of the girls. Gotta go break out one of those 5 gallon buckets of Coconut Tanning Oil, I’ve got to women to beard paint with it now!

Posted in Uncategorized | 7 Comments

Dragon Laffs #1496

Header1478campers

Tuesday Morning – 0600 hrs.

“What do you mean, he isn’t in his office??!!  He has an issue to put out tomorrow and I need to get this report to him before he does!  All the local damn airports, helipads, air strips, and long section of grass that you might even think about putting an aircraft down on have been closed.  There isn’t anywhere he could have gone!” 

 

“No Terrance!” 

 

“I will come down there and shove my talons so far up your…”

Impish puts his head down on his desk as he listens on the phone. “Uh huh….uh huh…”  He begins to bang his head up and down on his desk.   

“The LES Whats-it?”

 

“Grace O’Malley?”

 

“And he sailed away?” 

 

“What about Molly, she wouldn’t let him….oh…she’s away, too.”

 

“Yes.  Yes, I’m quite sure he was laughing.”

 

“No.  Don’t bother.  I’m also quite sure that you and I are the only ones left in the entire mountain capable of conjugating a verb and getting change back from our dollar.”

 

“No!  I have no idea what the hell it was I just said!” 

 

“Dammit Terrance!  You are supposed to be helping me!”

 

Impish rests his forehead back on the desk and lets loose with a big sigh.

“Okay, first things first.  I get this FAA report finished and submitted to the FAA so that we can start using the helipad on the roof to take off and land.” 

 

“Then … What?” 

 

“No.” 

 

“I didn’t mean we as in you and me were going to fly.  I know trolls can’t fly.  I was just…. Oh for shit’s sake, Terrance!”

Impish begins to start banging his head softly on the desk top again.  Each word punctuated by a thump of his head.

“I’ll. Get. The. Report. Done. You. Find. Out. If. Any. One. Else. Is. Left.”

Lifting his head, he continues, “Like editing.  See if anyone is left in editing.  We’re going to need them by the end of the week.”

Impish wrinkles his nose as if he smells something and his eyes go wide and he stammers into the phone, “Oh Shit!  I forgot!  I smell cigar smoke!  Lock all the doors!  Lower all the portcullises!  Barricade all the doors!  Hell Boy is supposed to be coming to break my legs and chain me to the desk … and … and … “

Impish reaches under his desk and pushes a hidden button and huge steel doors come crashing down covering all the windows and doors.  Huge metal bars fall from the ceiling to lock into place across the steel doors and the hum of an electrified force field can be heard just loud enough to know that to touch any of the outer walls or doors would mean instant death to whomever touched it. 

Impish sits back in his desk chair with a deep sigh.  “It okay Terrance.  I got myself locked in before he got here.  He must be somewhere on campus.  See if you can find him on any of the monitors and I’ll at least know where to stay away from.” 

 

“Oh, you do see him on one of the monitors?” 

 

“Gosh, then I guess I got locked in here just in time.”

You hear the scratch of a match as a cigar is lit and a deep rumbly voice says, “No.  You didn’t.”

 

Wednesday Morning – 0500 hrs:

Impish is sitting behind the same locked, gated and electrified doors as he was yesterday, except today, in addition to everything else, he is covered in bruises and has a cast on his right leg. 

“Terrance?  Are the airports and such back open yet?”

 

“Yes, I finished the FAA report.”

 

“Yes, it was accepted, ‘Big Red’ is gone, isn’t he?”

 

“No, I don’t know where he went.”

 

“Yes, I suppose it is possible for him to still be here, somewhere.”

 

“No, I’m not worried.  This time, I know I got the doors barred before he got in here.”

You hear the scratch of a match as a cigar is lit and a deep rumbly voice says, “No.  You didn’t.”

 

Thursday Morning – 0400 hrs:

This morning, Impish has a cast on both legs, can see out of only one eye, and is, again, speaking on the phone.

“Yes, Terrance.”

 

“I read his post, Terrance.”

 

“It said 3 days, Terrance.”

 

“I don’t know if Molly knows about the other girl, Terrance.  Do you really think I bloody care at this point?”

 

“No, Terrance.  I have no idea where H.B. is.  All I know is last night, he patted me on top of my head, called me a good little dragon and called Chitty to come pick him up.”

 

“Yes, Terrance.  I do know that used to be my transportation.”

 

“Why, yes, as a matter of fact, I DID mention it to him…”

 

“What did he say?” 

 

“Do you notice how my left eye is swollen shut?” 

 

“Yeah, no.  I didn’t think you had any other questions.”

 

Friday Morning – 0300 hrs:

Impish is being pushed in a wheelchair down to his office by one of the editing dwarves.

He can’t find Terrance anywhere.  He felt like he had called every single office in the mountain and finally one of the dwarves picked up in editing and agreed, for several bags of gold, to come up to his room, help him into the chair and wheel him down to his office.  He had to give the dwarf the bag of gold before they started because the dwarf didn’t trust Impish to pay him after he was wheeled to his office.  The dwarf stopped pushing Impish in the middle of a hallway, about two levels away from his office and three levels away from his room. 

“Hey!  Why are we stopping here?”

 

“That’s not my office!  That’s a storage closet!”

 

“Hey!  What the hell do you …!”

Once the door was closed behind him, it was pitch black in the closet.  He could hear the dwarf laughing and skipping away up the hallway.  The bad part was that there was nothing he could do about it now or later since he couldn’t tell one dwarf from another. Impish fumbles in the dark with his cell phone and calls Terrance Troll, his “Administrative Assistant”.

“Terrance, I need you to come down to … what do you mean, you ‘aren’t at work’?  Where the hell are you…  WITH LETHAL!!!  HE HAD YOU HELIOCOPTERED OUT??!!”  But…wait… loosing signal!  That’s just you crumpling paper next to the phone!”

 

“Hello?”

 

“Hello?”

  In the dark behind you, you hear the scratch of a match and the closed flares brighter for a second as a cigar is lit and a deep rumbly voice says, “Need help?”

And that brings us up to present times.  I’m currently alone in the mountain…well, I hope Hell Boy is finally gone…and as you can tell, it’s been a really long week. 

It’s too early to tell if our warning from yesterday was overreaction or a good warning.  I guess by this afternoon, we’ll know.  We’ve gotten a few comments and I know you good, honest, hardworking campers are getting a little tired of this B.S., we all know that something has to be done, but do any of us know what that is?  I’m not sure.  But, there is one thing I AM sure of, it’s that we must NOT elect Hillary.  I think if we do, then it will all be a moot point after that.  We’ll lose any shred of freedom and it will be the beginning of the end.  I hope to God I’m wrong, but that’s what I feel.

Yesterday was the twenty first anniversary of my lovely wife Mary’s decent into madness and chaos when she said “I do!” I KNOW when she agreed to “…in sickness or in health, for richer or poorer …” she didn’t expect either of us to end up being as sick and as poor as it all turned out.   But you know, at the end of the day, I’m still together with my very best friend in the whole world and I love her with all my heart.  I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

Now, what do you say we get started on today’s issue and I’ll have to get to work around here.  Now that the airport bans have been lifted, I’m pretty sure that the entire rest of the staff have joined Terrance, joining Lethal, where ever he is.

Let's Laugh
We’re going to start out with something that was sent to me by our buddy
WheatsIt is unbelievable to me…and of course to Wheats, and, in his words, this is a testimony as to why the West is where it is today.

And the really incredible part is that when it’s explained to her, she still doesn’t get it.

AAAANNNNNDDDD…..if you continue on with more YouTube of Cindy, it gets worse…believe it or not.

2102

Phones nowadays are so expensive that when you fall and hear a crack sound, you pray it’s your leg.

2103

Morris comes home to find his wife, Sadie, crying.

“I found out from the neighbors that you’ve been having an affair with that cheap secretary in your office! Why would you do that to me? Haven’t I always been a good wife? I’ve cooked for you, raised your children, and I’ve always been by your side for thirty-five years. What haven’t I done to make you happy?

 
Embarrassed, Morris confesses, “It’s true, Sadie, you’ve been the best wife a man could hope for. You make me happy in all ways but one. You don’t moan when we make love!”
 
Sadie questions: “If I moaned when we had sex, you’d stop running around?! All right, come to the bedroom so I can show you that I, too, can moan!”
 
So they retire to the bedroom, get undressed, and climb beneath the sheets. As they begin to kiss, Sadie asks, “Now, Morris, should I moan now?”
“No, not yet.”
 
Morris begins fondling Sadie. “What about now, Morris? Should I moan now?”
 
“No, I’ll tell you when!”
 
He climbs on top of Sadie and begins to have intercourse.
 
“Is it time for me to moan, Morris?”
 
Wait, I’ll tell you when.”
 
Moments later, in the heat of passion,  Morris yells “Now, Sadie, moan! MOAN!
 
OY! OY!” Moans Sadie. “You wouldn’t BELIEVE what a day I’ve had!

2104

Dragon Pix

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Now that’s a dream catcher worthy of a dragon.

2105

I might wake up early and go running.  I also might wake up and win the lottery.  The odds are about the same.

! BIRDBRAINS Drop-In Template.ai

I wonder why we are so obsessed with trying to find intelligent life on other planets when we can’t even find intelligent life here on Earth?

2107

Fantasy Pix

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From our archives, this is a picture from an old training exercise.  You can tell because it’s in black and white and there’s no blood showing anywhere.

2108

TRUTH:
Walmart is closing 269 stores in 2016
Putting 14 cashiers out of work.

2109

Paul K-9 may be getting a little on in age.  I received this text from him the other day:
My boss said, “Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” Now I’m sitting in a disciplinary meeting dressed as Batman.  What should I do now?
My advice to him was to remind his boss that you were only following his instructions.  I’m sure that will work out just fine.

2110

With everything going on in the world right now, I’m finding it really hard to laugh and smile, so maybe I can purge some of that feeling with this next section:
Politics

4

Okay, so that is true…and not really helping me get happy…let’s try another:

4a

Damn….that’s too true too.  This isn’t really working out the way that I had hoped…well, let’s keep going and seeing where this takes us:

4w

Okay, that’s more like it.  That’s funny AND true!

4x

One of the BEST explanations of Socialism I’ve ever heard.

Thanks to Jeannie for this one.  It’s perfect.

4y

And that’s just plain funny.

4z

And THAT one was the best.  Okay, I feel good enough to move on now.

2111

If your cup is only half full, you probably need a different bra.

2112

Some things are better left unsaid.
Which I generally realize right after I’ve said them.

2113

critter

Here’s a section we haven’t run for a while…
a46

That’s about the same reaction I’d expect from my dog.  Except, she wouldn’t be asleep.  She’d be jumping up and down and offering to help carry out the TV.

a47

I’ve done that before.  He looks a lot better afterward then I usually do.

a48

Must be a Ninja Kitty in training.

a49

a50

 

2114

I LOVE this one:
I accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I’m the proud owner of aisle 4.

2115

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
A face like yours,
Belongs in a zoo.

Don’t you worry,
I’ll be there too,
Not in the cage,
But laughing at you!

 

2116

 

stupid

A wiser man than me once said, “Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.” ~ Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough For Love
5j

Um…Catch?

5k

“Tap! Tap! Tap! Thump!”

5l

Holy cow, my safety inspector would pass out right on the spot!

5m

You know, in all honesty, today was a day here that I would have found this perfectly acceptable.  It was ridiculously hot!

5n

Stupid?  or….Ingenious?

5o

Oh!  And what the hell is the guy on the left supposed to do if the ladder slips?
And that’s it for this section campers.  I hope you enjoyed them.

2117

Yesterday I did nothing…
and today, I’m finishing what I started.

2118

11

2119

motivational

I really love this section and I think I know why…because you take an ordinary picture and put a twisted caption to it.  The idea being to make someone laugh, cry, think or consider.  It emotes a response.
Great Personality

I’m almost positive that “personality” is singular.

Like Father

If you’ve never had kids, you probably don’t get this to its fullest intent.

Lime Green

Someone needs to be slapped for that!

Lime

Limitations

2120

So, truth in advertising, I really don’t care for this guy, but this is really an awesome illusion.

 

 

2121

 

Here’s a great joke sent in by K2.

A man was conducting an All Service member briefing one day, and he posed the question: “What would you do if you found a scorpion in your tent?”
A Sailor said, “I’d step on it.”
A Soldier said, “I’d hit it with my boot.”
A Marine said, “I’d catch it, break the stinger off, and eat it.”

An Airman said, “I’d call room service and find out why there’s a tent in my room.”

 Yeah, yeah, laugh at the Air Force guys….but we’re still the ones with air conditioning.

7

Boy, ain’t that the truth. 

last word

I have this really great article about how Hillary fired one of her ambassadors for doing the exact same thing that the FBI said she shouldn’t be fired for because they could find no evidence that she knew she was breaking the law.  Here’s the article:

Hillary Clinton beats the rap while condemning others to face it
By Monica Crowley (bio)

As he methodically laid out the case against Hillary Clinton for her use of a private, unsecure server and email accounts to carry out all of her official government business as secretary of state before declining to recommend criminal charges, FBIDirector James B. Comey left out one major piece of evidence. It’s the one piece of the puzzle that truly nails her, since it demonstrates consciousness of guilt.

She fired an ambassador serving under her for doing eerily similar, but far less damaging, things.

And here’s the link to finish reading it. http://politicalmavens.com/index.php/2016/07/15/hillary-clinton-beats-the-rap-while-condemning-others-to-face-it/

But the truth of the matter is that I’m so angry and so incredulous about what’s going on right now over this whole Hillary bullshit, that I don’t want to talk about it right now.  I want to go out on my back deck with a cold drink, a funny book and a cigar and enjoy this time. 

So, If you will excuse me, I remain: Impish full size

 

Posted in Uncategorized | 6 Comments

SPECIAL: HIGH IMPORTANCE!

Public Servicebreaking news

Okay, so there is no way of knowing if this is true or not.  Snopes says that this is almost exactly like another warning that came out right after Ferguson went to pieces.  As a matter of fact, the list of cities, addresses and times is identical.
But before we do anything else, read the article.

WARNING: DAY OF RAGE #BlackLivesMatter Protests Set for Friday in 37 US Cities

000001Here we go…
The Left is Planning Day of Rage Protests for July 15th in Dozens of American Cities
Anonymous released this message on Saturday. (WARNING!! There is graphic violence shown.  This is not for the squeamish!)

Day of Rage Protests Across America–

Use this as a list of places NOT to be on Friday the 15th.

No matter how great your empathy might be for those who have unjustly lost their lives, these protests are not safe places to be.
Here are the locations and times for the protests:

Phoenix: 5:00PM (EASTLAKE PARK, 1549 E Jefferson St , Phoenix, AZ 85034)

Tuscon: 5:00PM (CATALINA PARK, 900 N 4th Avenue, Tucson, AZ 85705)

Little Rock: 6:00PM (OUTSIDE STATE CAPITOL BUILDING, Dr Martin Luther King Jr Dr., Little Rock, AR 72201)

San Francisco: 4:00PM (CIVIC CENTER PLAZA, 355 Mcallister St, San Francisco, California 94102)

Oakland: 4:00PM (FRANK OGAWA PLAZA, 1 Frank H Ogawa Plaza, Oakland, CA 94612)

Los Angeles: 4:00PM (LEIMERT PLAZA PARK, 4395 Leimert Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90008)

Denver: 5:00PM (CIVIC CENTER PARK, 100 W 14th Ave Pkwy, Denver, Colorado 80204)

Washington DC: 7:00PM (OUTSIDE WHITE HOUSE, 1600 PennsylvaniaAve NW, Washington, DC 20500)

Atlanta: 7:00PM (OLD DECATUR COURTHOUSE, 101 E Court Sq, Decatur, GA 30030)

Tampa: 7:00PM (OUTSIDE HILLSBOROUGH COURTHOUSE, 800 E Twiggs St, Tampa, FL)

Orlando: 7:00PM (LAKE EOLA PARK, 195 N Rosalind Ave, Orlando, Florida 32801)

Miami: 7:00PM (GWEN CHERRY PARK, NW 71 St., Miami, Florida, 33147)

Chicago: 6:00PM (RICHARD J DALEY CENTER, 50 W Washington St, Chicago, Illinois 60602)

Des Moines: 6:00PM (IOWA STATE CAPITOL, 1007 E Grand Ave, Des Moines, IA 50319)

New Orleans: 6:00PM (LAFAYETTE SQUARE, New Orleans, LA 70130)

Baltimore: 7:00PM (201 E Pratt St, Baltimore, MD 21202)

Boston: 7:00PM (MASSACHUSETTS STATE HOUSE, 24 Beacon St, Boston, MA 01233)

Detroit: 7:00PM (Campus Martius Park, Detroit, Michigan 48226)

Lansing: 7:00PM (STATE CAPITOL BUILDING, Capitol Avenue at Michigan Avenue, Lansing, MI 48933)

Ann Arbor: 7:00PM (THE DIAG, Burns Park, Ann Arbor, MI 48109)

Minneapolis: 6:00PM (MINNEAPOLIS URBAN LEAGUE, 2100 Plymouth Ave N, Minneapolis, MN 55411

St. Louis: 6:00PM (GATEWAY ARCH, St. Louis 63102)

Carson City: 4:00PM (NEVADA STATE CAPITOL BUILDING, 101 N Carson St, Carson City, Nevada 89701)

Manhattan, NY: 7:00PM (TIMES SQUARE, Manhattan, NY, 10036)

Newark: 7:00PM (NEWARK CITY HALL, 920 Broad Street, Newark, New Jersey 07102)

Durham: 7:00PM (200 E. Main St. Durham, North Carolina)

Columbus: 7:00PM (GOODALE PARK, Columbus, Ohio 43215)

Cleveland: 7:00PM (CLEVELAND PUBLIC LIBRARY, 325 Superior Ave E, Cleveland, Ohio 44114)

Portland: 4:00PM (PIONEER COURTHOUSE SQUARE, 701 SW 6th Ave, Portland, Oregon 97204)

Philadelphia: 7:00PM (LOVE PARK, 1599 John F Kennedy Blvd, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 19102)

Pittsburgh: 7:00PM (PITTSBURGH CITY-COUNTY BUILDING, 414 Grant St, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 15219)

Nashville: 6:00PM (801 Broadway Nashville, TN 37203 Estes Kefauver Federal Building)

Memphis: 6:00PM (Health Sciences Park Memphis, TN)

Austin: 6:00PM (TEXAS STATE CAPITOL, Outside South Gate-11th and Congress Ave.)

Salt Lake City: 5:00PM (SALT LAKE CITY COMMUNITY COLLEGE, 4600 S Redwood Rd, Salt Lake City, Utah 84123)

Seattle: 4:00PM (QUEEN ANNE BAPTIST CHURCH, 2011 1st Ave N, Seattle, Washington 98109)

Milwaukee: 5:00PM (DINEEN PARK, Milwaukee, Wisconsin)

UPDATE: US Army warns military personnel to avoid these 37 cities.

So, I left the link for the Army Warns Military….  there was also an article about Scott AFB, IL (Very near to St. Louis) to have their airman be careful and avoid locations.

The bottom line folks, is that it is up to you.  There is a very real possibility that nothing is going to happen anywhere and this warning will all be for naught.  And that would make me the happiest dragon around.  I would rather you be warned and stay away from somewhere you might have otherwise been and have it turn out to be nothing, then to not warn you and one of you gets hurt, or worse in a place I could have warned you about.

For me and mine…we’re staying away from ALL big cities, going armed, and being careful because all of these idiots are like lemmings and will follow each other right to the riot.

Cheers Impish

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