Okay, so this stuff happens

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Good Morning Campers,

Well, I hope it’s a better morning for you, then it is for me.  It’s been a tough week.  Mrs. Dragon has taken a turn … not necessarily for the worse, but a turn, none-the-less and she has kept me a bit busy.

And work…work has been a complete and total pain in the0 tail.  And you know that dragons have very large tails, so therefore, a very large pain.  Not really in a bad way, just in a “you gots lots and lots of work to do cowboy” way.

And Izzy Dragon … and that’s another whole ball of gnomes.

I need a tall glass of Jameson on the rocks and some time off.  Sadly, the 0aaatime off won’t come for about three weeks.  And you guys won’t get an issue today.  I’m sorry for that, but this stuff happens.

And worse than all that … and after all you guys have done for me … I just got the warning from Word Press, it’s that time of year again, I’m going to soon ask you guys for donations.  Yeah, with no issue today and you guys just ponying up for our Security Forces Lady, here I am asking again, and if we don’t raise much this year, after everything you guys have done, I’ll completely understand, but … it is that time, so I’ll be asking.

Anyway, a couple of fast memes to send me out this out the door and me off to bed.

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If more people would learn that lesson, think how wonderful this world would be!!

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And this…this is it.  Until Saturday dear friends.

Cheers.

Impish

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Dragon Laffs #1923

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Good Morning Campers,

Well, we definitely have lots of corn here in Indiana and it is a bumper crop this year!  Lots of rain, lots of sun, I don’t believe I have seen it as high as this, by the first of August.  Now, I’m not a farmer.  I’m a city dragon, but I’ve heard that the corn is supposed to be “knee high by the 4th of July”, but I swear it was over my head by the end of July.

Anyway, I don’t know why I decided to talk about that first thing today, maybe because last night I had a deer jump out in front of me from the corn and it was still on my mind this morning or something else.  But, all is well.  The deer got away safely and I got away with just a mild heart attack.

So, today is going to be mostly about me offering you guys up some laughs in preparation for going back to work tomorrow, so what do you say we just get to that part of the fun, shall we?  I agree, I think that’s a wonderful idea.

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I am at the end of one list of pictures, so there is going to be a bit of a … well … you’ll probably see by the end of this issue … issue …

I’ve made some terrible life choices over the years …

Just kidding.  I’m married and not allowed to make decisions.

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Okay, I gotta agree with Pete on this one. 

Never mind that it works, I want to know who the guy was that needed to know that……and WHY!!!!!

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I’m with ya Pete.  And you know it was probably some government study that threw thousands, if not millions of dollars at it.

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The short answer is NO.

The long answer is OH FUCK NO.

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Please see the long answer!

A day without coffee is like …

 

Just kidding,     I have no idea!

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Burning Bridge

“You need to quiet down out here!  I’m trying to get some sleep!”

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Okay, so here’s a new category that is probably way overdue…

I didn't know that

Thanks to Leah D for sending this one in.  And having spent a couple of years as a Mormon I had to include this, even though it is past the date.  Yes, I’ve been about everything religiously, which gives me my unique perspective on things.  Anyway, July 24th is a big celebration in Utah called Pioneer Days with parades and stuff about when the Mormons came west or some such.  But this is the part that I had no idea about …

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Pie & Beer Day — a play on “Pioneer Day”

The so-called “counterculture response” to Pioneer Day takes place each July 24. It’s the same day as the state holiday that commemorates the Mormon pioneers’ arrival into the Salt Lake Valley in 1847.

In what’s turning into a Utah summertime staple for a certain segment of the population, Pie & Beer Day pairs many forms of pie — pizza, apple, key lime, quiche, maybe even chicken pot — with beer.

‘Pie and Beer Day’ celebration cancelled due to uptick in Salt Lake’s COVID-19 cases

Well, it’s a real shame it’s been cancelled … but I’ll bet there were a lot of private celebrations going on anyway.

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“Does this dress make me look fat?”

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Two Mafia hit-men are walking deep into a forest in the middle of the night.

One of them says, “I gotta admit I’m scared out here.”

The other replies, “You’re scared…I gotta walk back alone!”

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If you lose one sense your other senses are enhanced.  This is why people with no sense of humor have a heightened sense of self-importance.

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Many people would be scared if they saw in the mirror, not their face, but their character.

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Motivational6

Advertising15

Feminism

Ferrari

Fetishes

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Field Trips

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Fight Club

Figure Skating

finally spring

Finally

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Know

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Interesting Maps

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The Biggest Non-Government Employer in Each State

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Breathtaking

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This is how Mt. Fuji cuts through the clouds.

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And that’s it for this really strange episode my friends.  I hope you had a laugh.

Cheers,

Impish Dragon

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Dragon Laffs #1922

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Good Morning Campers,

It just occurred to me, that I was supposed to go back and write a beginning to last issue’s start … and didn’t.  So, there’s one sentence to start it, lol.  Let’s see if we can’t do a bit of a better job with this one.

So, I’ve gotten a couple of messages from fellow campers over the last couple of days that we can share.  Here’s one of them:

Stephanie says: 

Thank you for the birthday wishes my dear friend. I made it to 65!!!!!!!!!
I could draw social security, if I wasn’t already, but just a couple years younger than myself are asked to wait till 70 to draw. With the average life span being 78 and you paying taxes since age 18, that gives the thieves, sorry, congressional slugs 52 years of your taxes to squander for votes.

You are quite welcome dear lady and yeah, I could retire but I’m waiting for Social Security and Medicare … a couple of more years.  I can’t wait.  Yeah, we work our asses off for 50 years so we can get our own money back for ten or maybe twenty, if we are lucky.

But, now … it’s time to laugh.

Let's Laugh

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I’m not particularly interested, but it might be for some people…

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Yeah … that’s about right.

The best murder weapon would be a Tupperware lid, because nobody would ever be able to find it.

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Did you know that if you put your ear up to a stranger’s leg you can hear them say:

What the fuck are you doing?

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We don’t know what the rest of this text is about, and it doesn’t matter because this student automatically deserves an A+.

This student somehow managed to include the lyrics to “Never Gonna Give You Up” in his paper in the most genius way. We hope their teacher noticed when they were grading it. 

This paper could have completely false information, and we wouldn’t even care because it is genius in other ways. Once you see the lyrics, it’s hard to focus on anything else in the essay.

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Dragon Pix

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It’s a marvelous night for a moon dance

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There was a young fellow from Perth.

Who was born on the day of his birth.

He was married they say,

On his wife’s wedding day,

And he died on his last day on earth.

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A giraffe’s coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat.  Ever think about that?  No.  You only think about yourself.

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“You can’t hold me, lawman!”

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Fantasy Pix

Impish Iguana

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Always make sure SOMEONE in the relationship has good credit.  That’s why it’s called SIGNIFICANT other.

Sign/if/I/can’t.

Follow me for more marriage tips.

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You can walk around Walmart eating grapes and nobody will bother you.

But as soon as you pop open a beer … here comes security.

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Breathtaking

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This is what the turquoise ice formations on Lake Baikal, Russia look like.

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Interesting Maps

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50 Percent Of Canadians Live South Of The Red Line

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I LOVE THAT MUG!

Our dear friend and fellow camper Pete has this to say about wearing MOPP gear.

I’d pretty much be willing to drive up there if you have a suit to fit me…..

Brother Pete, I have suits to fit, every body!

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motivational

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Fck it

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Feats of

Female Armor

Female Army

Female Assassins

Female Gamers

Female Ninjas

Female_Storm_Troopers

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Trish G has a submission in our Florida Man contest:

Florida man:
Half-Nude Florida Man Wearing Underwear Marked “Breathalyzer, Blow Here” Arrested for DUI
He also had condoms strewn throughout the vehicle…and binoculars on the passenger’s seat.

Okay, and we have a contender!  At least for a good laugh!  Thanks Trish.

And Donnie send this one in:

A Florida man has been charged with arson after police say he screamed about vampires before intentionally setting his own house on fire while a woman was inside.

Not anywhere near your league, Imp, but humorous nevertheless.

Thanks Donnie, another good one.  Vampires can be a real pain in the neck.  I know a few nice ones, but mostly they are a bit stuck up.

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And that’s it my friends.  Love and happiness to you all.  Be well, and laugh!

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Dragon Laffs #1921

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Good Morning My Dear Campers,

It’s Thursday and it’s been a long week.

 

 

Let's Laugh

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Did you hear about the middle school that voted to change their mascot? It was an agricultural area, but they wanted to be progressive and offer a female mascot. So, they had three choices, a female sheep, a female goat, and a female deer.

After a long campaign, a series of debates, and a day of students voting yes or no on each, the principal stood before his students and announced that, in a unanimous vote, the new school mascot would be a female sheep.

It seems that even after all the campaigning, debate, and division, the student body only had Ayes for Ewe.

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Okay, we have a new entry in the Florida Man Birthday contest … This one is from Joe L and his is from April 3rd and it reads like this: Florida authorities claim a man stabbed his ex-girlfriend with a sword and then hit her with his truck.

But, brother Joe was kind enough to send us the whole story … so there’s more!

The Citrus County Sheriff’s Office said in a press release that MPs found 42-year-old Brandi Blevins dead in her front yard on Sunday evening.

Detectives said 41-year-old Eric Huffman stabbed Blevins to death with a large sword. The sheriff’s office said a witness told them that after Huffman stabbed Blevins to death, he jumped in his truck and ran over the victim before crashing into a tree. He escaped, but was later captured. It was unclear what exactly killed Blevins.

Huffman is charged with premeditated murder and aggravated assault with deadly weapons. He’s in jail without bail.

Not bad Joe.  Not sure if it beats mine or not, but I’m going to give it points, just the same.  What are we talking about?  Why, the great Google Florida Man Challenge!  Go to Google, type in Florida man and your birthday, just month and day, and see what pops up!  Just to see how crazy it is!  And you, too can be featured here in Dragon Laffs!

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The first rule of “Condescending Club” is really kinda complex and I don’t think you’d understand it even if I explained it to you.

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Know

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The guy at the furniture store told me the sofa would seat 5 people without any problems.

Then it occurred to me, I don’t think I know 5 people without any problems.

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That’s going to be one hell of a ride!

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“You shall not pass!”

“Wanna Bet!”

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People think I am crazy because I talk to my chickens …

What am I suppose to do when they ask me things?  Ignore them?

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Our brother and fellow camper, Sasquatch sent in a question:

I have a question.

I just read that Pelosi wants to remove all of the old useless relics of a bygone era immediately removed from the Capitol Building grounds!

Is she resigning?

Just asking.

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Oh help me, help me!  I need rescuing!

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Interesting Maps

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The States In Blue Have A Smaller Population Than Los Angeles County (in Red)

Which is the best argument I can think of for the electoral college.

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When someone tells you, “pick a card, any card” …

… take their VISA.

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I woke up this morning determined to drink less, eat right, and exercise …

But that was 4 hours ago … when I was younger and full of hope.

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She said she missed me.  Normally that would be a good thing.  But she’s reloading.

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Motivational

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Father and Son Activities

Fatherhood

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Um…that kinda sucks.

Me:  Welcome to my she shed.

Gynecologist:  Please stop calling it that.

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Okay, read this one first…

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Maybe not…but since I do own several of these…

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Since this is what I teach, we have (jokingly) thought about going into the local grocery store dressed like this … or walking into one of the neighborhoods with a clipboard and a big piece of chalk and just randomly placing a big X at the base of someone’s driveway and walking on … although like Mrs. Dragon pointed out, that would probably have the press called out rather quickly.  But, you can tell by looking at the suit, you can’t really tell who’s inside.  And if we were quick enough, we could freak out a whole grocery store or neighborhood and be gone before anyone could identify us.  And if we WERE caught, we could just call it a training exercise.

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This is what an Osiria Rose looks like.

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That’s gonna be one hell of a sandwich!

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And as accidental as that porn may be, we have to end this here cause I gotta sleep sometime.  Have a great day my friends and may it be filled with love, happiness and laughter.

Cheers,

Impish Dragon

Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Dragon Laffs #1920

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Good Morning Campers,

Yup … reading is fun, reading is something I do a lot of.  But, we’ve talked about this before.  Don’t know why this has come up again, but it has. So, right now I’m up to 149 books since the first of April 2020.  That works out to one book every 3.2 days … still.  Which is pretty much what I was averaging at the end of the year.  So, I haven’t slowed down. 

That means I read a little over two books a week; or almost ten books a month.  I don’t know anyone else who does that.  Any other readers out there?  It’s funny, I’ll occasionally take a break at work and sit out back and smoke a little cigar with my tablet and read.  One of the GIs who work down the hall from me asked me the other day what it was I was watching on my tablet.  I said I wasn’t watching, anything, I was reading.  He said, reading?  What are you reading?  I said, a book.  He said … huh.  Now, that’s a lost art.

Reading books…a lost art. 

I am saddened by this.

So, we really need to laugh now.

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When I was your age, I had to walk 10 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.

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Irish Handcuffs (n.) When a person is carrying an alcoholic beverage in both hands at the same time.

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Leah D has a big problem …

Got this dude stalking me, I don’t like him N I wish he’d leave me the hell alone, but every time I turn around there he is! He just won’t take No for an answer, I can’t hurt his feelings, but he is really getting on my  nerves. His name is Bill…he just keeps coming around. It started out every month, then every week, now it almost every damn day. Ugh! It’s so annoying, can someone tell him to leave me alone, please? I hate Bill! He’s even got his family bothering me…Light Bill, Gas Bill, Water Bill, Cable Bill, etc…

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I said to myself, “Self.” (and I knew it was me, cause I recognized my voice, and I was wearing my underwear) “Today is going to be a good day!”

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“Last man standing!” – This incredible statue can be found in Grand Rapids, MI and is the work of father son team Andy and Noah Sacksteder.

I can’t help but think this is the inspiration for the statue …

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Or maybe it was even this Veteran ..

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But, this young man makes me just as proud …

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And all you “Hero Athletes” out there who kneel when the flag and the National Anthem play … aren’t you so PROUD.  Go ahead.  Explain to this young MAN how your degrading his flag is so meaningful.  Go ahead.  I dare you.  I double-dog dare you! Or how about one of the two gentleman above.  Tell them how your kneeling is expressing your opinion, you pussies.  You aren’t worth a pimple on their asses!

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Yeah … there’s a teeny bit of anger there, I think.

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Well, I’m now up to the 14th of July on my emails, so I’m catching up a little bit. But then again, it’s good to have a stock of emails to work off of.  I just don’t want you guys disappointed if I don’t answer something right away.

But, right now, I do want to wish a happy birthday to our dear friend Stephanie…

453 I hope you have a wonderful day, dear friend.

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It’s a shame nothing is built in the USA anymore.  I just bought a TV and it said “Built in Antenna”.

I don’t even know where that is!

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Alex (32)  I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

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Dragon Pic

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“Tag!  You’re it!”

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Okay, I guess it’s time to go on a little bit of a rant? essay?  Okay, let me explain.  I was sent part of an essay that looked like it was entitled: “I’m 78 and I’m Tired” with the subheading of True Story, check it out.  Which always makes me suspect, so I got to looking around online and did find the original, which was MUCH longer than the snippet I was sent.  It was written by Robert A. Hall, a Vietnam Marine Veteran AND five term Massachusetts State Senator.  The thing is, this was posted to his personal blog  on Thursday, February 19, 2009.  And he mentions that he is soon turning 63.  And here we are 13 years later and I find myself in the exact same position.  Soon turning 63 and also, quite tired.  So, if I may, and giving all credit where credit is due, here is:

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 19, 2009

I’m Tired–some updates

I’ll be 63 soon. Except for one semester in college when jobs were scarce, and a six-month period when I was between jobs, but job-hunting every day, I’ve worked, hard, since I was 18. Despite some health challenges, I still put in 50-hour weeks, and haven’t called in sick in seven or eight years. I make a good salary, but I didn’t inherit my job or my income, and I worked to get where I am. Given the economy, there’s no retirement in sight, and I’m tired. Very tired.
I’m tired of being told that I have to “spread the wealth around” to people who don’t have my work ethic. I’m tired of being told the government will take the money I earned, by force if necessary, and give it to people too lazy or stupid to earn it.
I’m tired of being told that I have to pay more taxes to “keep people in their homes.” Sure, if they lost their jobs or got sick, I’m willing to help. But if they bought McMansions at three times the price of our paid-off, $250,000 condo, on one-third of my salary, then let the leftwing Congresscritters who passed Fannie and Freddie and the Community Reinvestment Act that created the bubble help them—with their own money.
I’m tired of being told how bad America is by leftwing millionaires like Michael Moore, George Soros and Hollywood entertainers who live in luxury because of the opportunities America offers. In thirty years, if they get their way, the United States will have the religious freedom and women’s rights of Saudi Arabia, the economy of Zimbabwe, the freedom of the press of China, the crime and violence of Mexico, the tolerance for Gay people of Iran, and the freedom of speech of Venezuela. Won’t multiculturalism be beautiful?
I’m tired of being told that Islam is a “Religion of Peace,” when every day I can read dozens of stories of Muslim men killing their sisters, wives and daughters for their family “honor;” of Muslims rioting over some slight offense; of Muslims murdering Christian and Jews because they aren’t “believers;” of Muslims burning schools for girls; of Muslims stoning teenage rape victims to death for “adultery;” of Muslims mutilating the genitals of little girls; all in the name of Allah, because the Qur’an and Shari’a law tells them to.
I believe “a man should be judged by the content of his character, not by the color of his skin.” I’m tired of being told that “race doesn’t matter” in the post-racial world of President Obama, when it’s all that matters in affirmative action jobs, lower college admission and graduation standards for minorities (harming them the most), government contract set-asides, tolerance for the ghetto culture of violence and fatherless children that hurts minorities more than anyone, and in the appointment of US Senators from Illinois. I think it’s very cool that we have a black president and that a black child is doing her homework at the desk where Lincoln wrote the emancipation proclamation. I just wish the black president was Condi Rice, or someone who believes more in freedom and the individual and less in an all-knowing government.
I’m tired of a news media that thinks Bush’s fundraising and inaugural expenses were obscene, but that think Obama’s, at triple the cost, were wonderful. That thinks Bush exercising daily was a waste of presidential time, but Obama exercising is a great example for the public to control weight and stress, that picked over every line of Bush’s military records, but never demanded that Kerry release his, that slammed Palin with two years as governor for being too inexperienced for VP, but touted Obama with three years as senator as potentially the best president ever.
Wonder why people are dropping their subscriptions or switching to Fox News? Get a clue. I didn’t vote for Bush in 2000, but the media and Kerry drove me to his camp in 2004.
I’m tired of being told that out of “tolerance for other cultures” we must let Saudi Arabia use our oil money to fund mosques and madrassa Islamic schools to preach hate in America, while no American group is allowed to fund a church, synagogue or religious school in Saudi Arabia to teach love and tolerance.
I’m tired of being told I must lower my living standard to fight global warming, which no one is allowed to debate. My wife and I live in a two-bedroom apartment and carpool together five miles to our jobs. We also own a three-bedroom condo where our daughter and granddaughter live. Our carbon footprint is about 5% of Al Gore’s, and if you’re greener than Gore, you’re green enough.

I’m tired of being told that drug addicts have a disease, and I must help support and treat them, and pay for the damage they do. Did a giant germ rush out of a dark alley, grab them, and stuff white powder up their noses while they tried to fight it off? I don’t think Gay people choose to be Gay, but I damn sure think druggies chose to take drugs. And I’m tired of harassment from cool people treating me like a freak when I tell them I never tried marijuana. Update: People have written to tell me I’d have more sympathy if this was close to me. It is exactly having seen the destruction of alcoholism and heroin addiction in my own family that makes me pretty intolerant of people who are willing to destroy the people around them to indulge themselves.
I’m tired of illegal aliens being called “undocumented workers,” especially the ones who aren’t working, but are living on welfare or crime. What’s next? Calling drug dealers, “Undocumented Pharmacists”? And, no, I’m not against Hispanics. Most of them are Catholic and it’s been a few hundred years since Catholics wanted to kill me for my religion. I’m willing to fast track for citizenship any Hispanic person who can speak English, doesn’t have a criminal record and who is self-supporting without family on welfare, or who serves honorably for three years in our military. Those are the citizens we need. Update: A few people have taken this to indicate some bias against Catholics, based on events 400 years ago. While I think they are either too touchy or fail to understand, I was only trying to say that I have zero problem with Catholics wanting to come to the US, but that I have great concerns about Muslims, as a good % of them do want to kill me, or force their religion and moral code on me.
I’m tired of latte liberals and journalists, who would never wear the uniform of the Republic themselves, or let their entitlement-handicapped kids near a recruiting station, trashing our military. They and their kids can sit at home, never having to make split-second decisions under life and death circumstances, and bad mouth better people than themselves. Do bad things happen in war? You bet. Do our troops sometimes misbehave? Sure. Does this compare with the atrocities that were the policy of our enemies for the last fifty years—and still are? Not even close. So here’s the deal. I’ll let myself be subjected to all the humiliation and abuse that was heaped on terrorists at Abu Ghraib or Gitmo, and the critics can let themselves be subject to captivity by the Muslims who tortured and beheaded Daniel Pearl in Pakistan, or the Muslims who tortured and murdered Marine Lt. Col. William Higgins in Lebanon, or the Muslims who ran the blood-spattered Al Qaeda torture rooms our troops found in Iraq, or the Muslims who cut off the heads of schoolgirls in Indonesia, because the girls were Christian. Then we’ll compare notes. British and American soldiers are the only troops in history that civilians came to for help and handouts, instead of hiding from in fear. UPDATE: It has rightly been pointed out to me, several times, that I should have included Canadian, Australian and New Zealand troops here. My apologies for slighting these gallant allies of freedom.
I’m tired of people telling me that their party has a corner on virtue and the other party has a corner on corruption. Read the papers—bums are bi-partisan. And I’m tired of people telling me we need bi-partisanship. I live in Illinois, where the “Illinois Combine” of Democrats and Republicans has worked together harmoniously to loot the public for years. And I notice that the tax cheats in Obama’s cabinet are bi-partisan as well.
I’m tired of hearing wealthy athletes, entertainers and politicians of both parties talking about innocent mistakes, stupid mistakes or youthful mistakes, when we all know they think their only mistake was getting caught. I’m tired of people with a sense of entitlement, rich or poor.
Speaking of poor, I’m tired of hearing people with air-conditioned homes, color TVs and two cars called poor. The majority of Americans didn’t have that in 1970, but we didn’t know we were “poor.” The poverty pimps have to keep changing the definition of poor to keep the dollars flowing.
I’m real tired of people who don’t take responsibility for their lives and actions. I’m tired of hearing them blame the government, or discrimination, or big-whatever for their problems.
Yes, I’m damn tired. But I’m also glad to be 63. Because, mostly, I’m not going to get to see the world these people are making. I’m just sorry for my granddaughter.
Robert A. Hall is a Marine Vietnam veteran who served five terms in the Massachusetts state senate. He blogs at
www.tartanmarine.blogspot.com Update: Someone attached a picture of Robert D. Hall, an actor, to some versions and forwarded it on, saying that I was on CSI. We are two different people, and I am not an actor–unless you count running for public office.
And to the folks who said I’m Old and should die and get out of the way, I have IPF, so will comply soon enough.

I find very little to argue with in this essay … and and awful lot that brings a tear to my eye … and probably not for the reasons you would think.  According to what I can find, he is still alive at the age of 75. 

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Breathtaking

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This is what two hours’ worth of lightning on one pic looks like.

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I went to a dog show the other day. A Yorkie took Best in Show, a Jack Russell took second, and a Scotty took third.

I’m starting to think the judges had some sort of All-Terrier motive.

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Sir Knight, I can’t help but think this is not going to end well for you.

Fantasy

Fantasy_(55)

Dragon Laffs Head of Security

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And before anyone jumps to any conclusions … these are from Joe L…

What do you do when you find Niacin and Thiamin at your front door? You vitamin, of course!

______________

Did you hear about the guy who started chirping after a one night stand? They think he caught a canarial disease.

_______________

I refuse to work with compost, it’s degrading.

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Interesting Maps

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Tracking Of An Eagle Over A 20 Year Period

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Then he ain’t doing it right.

Upon his coronation, a tribal king decided he wanted to upgrade his woven-grass-and-wood home. So, he commissioned the best weavers in the village to build him a two-story home.

Weeks later, the grass-weavers finished, and moved the king’s property in. But the King wasn’t happy. He wanted to build a king-size bed, but the massive stone throne used in the tribe was in the way.

Figuring a second-floor throne room would be more impressive, the King ordered the workers to bring the throne upstairs, and then weave him a nice, big bed on the first floor.

A few more weeks later, the King finally moved in. On the first night, he and the Queen decided to test out the bed. Their testing got vigorous, and they shook the walls of the house, causing the heavy throne to plunge through the grass ceiling onto the bed, killing them both.

The moral of the story? When you live in a grass house, don’t stow thrones.

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Motivational

familiar

family planning

Family

Famous Last Words (2)

famous Last Words

Fantasies

Fantastic Four

fantastic

Farl

Farmarama

Farmers Daughter

Farmville

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Know

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590

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Okay…let’s do some of these now … since it’s been one of those issues anyway:

Politics

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I think we can conclude that the “time out” generation didn’t produce as good of citizens as the “ass beating” generation.

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This is what the Czech Republic has to say about our recent election:

“The danger to America is not Joe Biden, but a citizenry capable of entrusting a man like him with the presidency.  It will be far easier to limit and undo the follies of a Biden presidency than to restore the necessary common sense and good judgment to a depraved electorate willing to have such a man for their president.  The problem is much deeper and far more serious than Mr. Biden, who is a mere symptom of what ails America.  Blaming the prince of the fools should not blind anyone to the vast confederacy of fools that made him their prince.  The Republic can survive a Biden, who is, after all, merely a fool.  It is less likely to survive a multitude of fools, such as those who made him their president.”

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I am a criminal.

I don’t buy guns at stores.

I don’t care about your stupid gun laws.

Background checks won’t stop me.

Keep focusing on the good people.

THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I WANT.

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Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.

A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone’s relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts. However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird’s beaks and claws.

By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.

MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.

He very quickly concluded the cause: When crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.

They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout “Cah”, not a single one could shout “Truck.”

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And that’s it for today my friends.  I hope you had as much fun as I did putting it together.  May your week begin with as much fun as this has been.

Love and happiness to you all.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

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