Dragon Laffs #1505


Good Morning Campers

Good Morning Campers!

Well, it’s been a week!

By the time you guys are reading this, I’m probably on the way back to my lair.  But, before we really get going with this issue and the important things we need to talk about and laugh about, I want to tell you about a special event going on today.


Okay, you guys with the cake, you be careful of those candles!  There’s so damn many of them that we have the fire department standing by.  Okay, so put it down on the table.  Good.
Ginny is bringing Lethal down here and he doesn’t know why.
There he is!  Now, everyone together:
Happy Birthday to you!♫
♫Happy Birthday to you!♪
♪Happy Birthday dear Lethal♫
♫Happy Birthday to you oo oo oo!♪

♪♫♪And many mooooooooorrrrreeeeee!!!♫♪♫

Ahem, sorry about that last part.  Can you get some medical attention for those people in the first row there who are bleeding from their ears?

Anyway, today is my buddy’s birthday.  He has been like a brother to me, above and beyond the fact that we are brothers in arms, we are brothers, and more importantly friends, in so many other ways.

I know you said you stopped celebrating birthdays a while back, but I still want you to know that I am not going to stop remembering it and I’ll bet that you’ll get a bunch of comments and a bunch of emails wishing you a happy day.

So, you heard me fellow campers, don’t make me out to be a liar, I know you all hope he has a great birthday, but don’t just think it, post it!

Have a fantastic day, my brother, and many, many more happy returns.

Let's Laugh



That really reminds me of a story that happened to me when I was a young airman in the Air Force and my oldest daughter was very young, like 2 years old. 

Now that I’ve kinda set the stage I have to say one more thing.  Even though I put a warning at the top, I’m going to give you another warning right here. Adult (2)The adult content involves a horrible word that I have never before put into print in this blog.  You’ll see it soon enough.

While doing something in the house, this little girl comes up to me and says, “Daddy, have you seen my cunt?”

Well, the shock was so overwhelming that I didn’t respond fast enough and she continued, “It was black and white and soft and furry.  I can’t find it.”

Well, we talked back and forth for several minutes and we (I had called her mother in the room since she was normally better at translating than I was) had no idea what she was trying to say.

Well, this went on for several weeks.  She would ask us if we found it and we couldn’t get anything more out of her other than that it was “soft and furry”.  She would say things like, “I miss my cunt.” and “I’ve been looking for my cunt and I can’t find it.” Always in this soft, little girl who just learned how to talk voice.

So, one day she had a doctor’s appointment and it was a base doctor who she was seeing like we used to be able to as active duty military members. I’m in my uniform in this overly crowded pediatrica doctor’s waiting room.  She’s sitting on my lap as most of the other children were since it was so crowded.  Now, as a “two-stripper” I was probably the lowest ranking guy there, so I’m surrounded by senior NCOs, officers of all ranks, wives of who knew what rank their husbands were and … well … you get the picture.

So I very quietly told her to jump down off my lap and go over to the book shelf and bring back a book she’d like me to read to her.  She comes back with a book of pictures of animals.  I said her back on my lap and we started to go quietly through the book. 

I’d say, “What’s this?” and point to a picture and she’d tell me what it was.  A lot of the time she would say a humorous word that she thought was correct and anyone who could over-hear her would chuckle.  For instance, she would say something like palligator and mean caterpillar.  (Yeah, I would thought it was for alligator, but it was for caterpillar.)

So, I turn a page and all of a sudden she screams out into this quiet room, “THERE IT IS!  THERE’S MY CUNT!”

Needless to say, everything in the waiting room and behind the check-in desk comes to a screeching halt filled with female gasps and the male click of eyeballs as every NCO and Officer in the room stared lasers at me.

I did all that I could not to pass out dead right there.  My daughter, on the other hand, is going on and on in this cheerful, almost yelling, chant like voice, “It’s my cunt, I found my cunt, see daddy, there’s my cunt.”  And on like that.

I calmly said to her in a voice loud enough for everyone who was about to squash me but not yelling or chastising her, “No honey.  That’s a skunk…a skunk.”

skunkI’m not sure if anyone laughed or not because I was too mortified to even breathe.



Okay, it’s time for our trivia question of the day.  Here goes.

Why A, B, C, D, DD , E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes?

You’ll get the answer, right after this cartoon break!a


If you have wondered why women’s bra sizes are letters, but couldn’t figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!
{A} Almost Boobs.
{B} Barely there.
{C} Can’t Complain.
{D} Dang!
{DD} Double dang!
{E} Enormous!
{F} Fake.
{G} Get a Reduction.
{H} Help me, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!

And now you know.

Monday morning in Wisconsin.  Gained an hour getting here and will lose one on the way home. 

Crappy night’s sleep.  It usually takes me about 3 days to get used to a hotel bed, but this was really bad.  Staying on base, in base lodging.  Dang!  I had to make my own bed!!  But, the price is right….free.

But then again, I could’ve stayed in a hotel in town (about 18 miles away) and it still would’ve been free…at least, for me.

Waking up this morning to more bombs in Elizabeth, NJ.  That’s where my grandma used to live.  So, the bastards are blowing up Seaside, damn near my home town in NJ.  I spent as much time there as I did my own home.  Then they blew up some in NY where I used to party and now Elizabeth, home town to my granny.

Shit!  Maybe it’s ME they’re looking for!

I gotta think about that some more.  No coffee!  I gotta drive about ten miles to get a cup of coffee.  I’m going to bet that they have some in class this morning, if not….it’s going to be a long day.

Coffee!! Coffee!!
It’s our Drink!
If we don’t get it,
We can’t think!!


Dragon Pix


One of my favorites.  Makes a great anniversary card or just a little picture to say, “I love you.”

I run entirely on coffee and inappropriate thoughts.


Okay, so I would never have the patience for this hobby (punishment?  torture?), but I am very intrigued by it.  Kind of like I love to read submarine novels, but am reasonably sure that I could never serve in one.  So, anyway, here is the dreaded Triple Spiral.

Definitely cool.


Yeah, so that one goes back a couple of weeks.  It was caught in a small volcano that erupted in my computerized store room of pictures and political potash for the issue.  But, when you look at the cartoon and realize that is probably EXACTLY happened when Loretta Lynch was “summoned” to speak to BILL the Great and Powerful.  8b

So, here’s another cool video that I enjoyed.  I learned a lot from it too.


So, Tuesday morning.  It’s 230am and I’ve been up since 1.  I’m going to have to try and get back to sleep.  I hate trying to get used to a new bed.  And these are beds in name only.  The guy sleeping on the  cardboard box in the park probably got a better night’s sleep than I did.


And we didn’t get a chance to blow up ANYTHING yesterday!

It ain’t right.


How about that.  That’s the same criteria that Lethal and I use.



Since Halloween is getting so close, I can’t help but put in some pictures from last year’s Halloween Party.  This is a husband and wife team from the front offices in their customs posing for pictures.  No one could figure out how that black cloud kept forming behind him whenever he wanted it to.

I’m not saying I don’t like you, I’m just saying that I would unplug your life support to make a pot of coffee.

So, I managed to get another 2 hours sleep.  I’m not on the hunt for a cuppa!  Next time I remember to bring my own coffee maker if I’m going to survive here at Volk Field.



Okay, so here’s a GREAT video that my brother, the Owl sent to me.  The write-up is from the website theblaze_logo_2x

Syrian rebel accidentally blows himself up after taking ‘selfie’ with phone rigged with explosives

A video showing a Syrian rebel blowing himself and his fellow freedom fighters up after taking a selfie with a phone rigged with explosives is going viral.

The 29 second footage shows several Syrian freedom fighters gathered in a room in front of two rifles, one of them speaking into a microphone.

Nineteen seconds into the video, one man can be seen lifting a phone as if he was about to take a selfie, then — BOOM!

As the dust settles, the men in the room can be heard shouting “Allah Akbar,” which means “God is great” in Arabic.

Watch the video below:
And here, courtesy of YouTube, is the video:


I’m thinking this just might be one of the Ninja Kitties, Tech Division.  I could be wrong there, though.

With deep concern, Brian noted that his friend, Peter, was far drunker than he’d ever seen him before.
He walked over to the bar and asked, “What’s the trouble, buddy?”
“It’s a woman.” replied Peter. “What else?”
“Tell me about it,” coaxed Brian.
“It’s your wife.” replied Peter.
“My wife? What about her?” asked Brian.
Peter turned and looked Brian in the eye and admitted, “Well, buddy boy, I’m afraid she’s cheating on us.”


My girlfriend asked me when I last had sex with someone other than her.
I said, “Back in ’02.”  That sounds a lot better than “February.”


Ain’t that the truth.  Talk about a law that has no teeth!

For our anniversary I took my wife out to a swanky restaurant, no expense spared.

We had champagne, lobster, croquets, quiche, the works.

Afterwards, over brandies, she smiled seductively and said, “When we get home I’m going to do that special thing for you that you like more than anything else in the world.”

“Forget that,” I said. “I couldn’t eat spaghetti bolognese after all this.”


Pestering Politicians

So, with everything that’s going on this morning and the way the politicians are all putting their own spin on them, this is the perfect time to throw some mud of our own.




You gotta love these “Who Wore It Better” pictures.  That woman will wear ANYTHING!


I’m going with Kirby on this one.


And both of those statements are equally truthful.


A recent article in the West Australian newspaper reported that a woman, Mrs. Maynard, has sued a Perth Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there he lost all interest in sex.
A hospital spokesman replied: “Mr. Maynard was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was correct his eyesight.


I loved Father Guido Sarducci on Saturday Night Live.  This routine is from 1980 and it’s called: Life Is A Job.


When the examination was complete, he said, ‘Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what’s wrong with me.’
‘Well, in plain English,’ the doctor replied, ‘You’re just a plain old lazy fart.’
‘Thank You.’ said the man. ‘Now give me the medical term, so I can tell my wife!’  


There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.

Only a fraction of people will find this funny.




See!!!  It’s there attitude!  And I’m not sure, I mean, I can’t prove that it’s true, but they have meetings … either weekly or monthly … and they teach their younger ones all these nasty tricks!





I used to have a dog like that.  But nowadays, isn’t that what we do when we go to the grocery store to get milk and return with 3 bags of groceries?


President Obama arrived in China for an economic summit over the weekend where he met with China’s president Xi Jing-Ping and with China’s cabinet members. It was long overdue. Obama’s been the President of the United States for almost eight years, it’s about time he met with the owners. 


So it’s Wednesday evening and last night’s sleep was the worst yet.  I’ve hit my three days now and I’m hoping, with the help of a little alcohol, that I’ll be able to get a decent night’s sleep tonight.

Still haven’t had a chance to blow anything up yet and I’m highly disappointed and a bit bewildered.  I asked one of the four instructors if we were EVER going to get to blow anything up?  His response?

“Huh?  What do you mean?”

I said, “Well, this is an explosive safety class, shouldn’t we be learning how to set off explosives safely?”

He didn’t really answer right away, he just kinda looked at me with this dumbstruck look on his face and then said, “Oh.  Ha, Ha, Ha.  Funny.  I get it.”

And then he walked off.

Like I wasn’t serious or something.

Guess I’ll just have to get with one of the other instructors tomorrow.  Better be quick, we only have two days of class left.


I get that one, too.

Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress, were chatting about their relationships and decided they needed to spice up their love lives.

All three agreed to wear black leather bras, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes that evening with their respective lovers.

 After a few days they met up for lunch and compared notes.
The engaged woman: “The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask.
He saw me and said: ‘You are the woman of my life. I love you.’ Then we made love all night long.”
The mistress: “Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat, he didn’t say a word, but we had wild sex all night!”
The married woman said: “I sent the kids to stay at my mother’s house for the night, when my husband came home. I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes.

As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said: ‘What’s for dinner, Batman?‘”

And I’m pretty sure that’s when she killed him.


A man went to the Harborview Medical Center in Seattle, Washington , to have his wedding ring cut off his penis.
According to the nurse attending the operation, the patient’s girlfriend found the ring in his pants pocket.
She didn’t know he was married, and she was so mad she used petroleum jelly to slip the ring on his penis while he was asleep.
I don’t know what’s worse:
1. Having your girl friend find out you’re married.
2. Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your penis… OR…
3. Finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring.
Tough call. You decide.



A discrace

This is a complete and total disgrace!  If this doesn’t motivate you to vote Republican then I just don’t know …..

I do

She’s sure to make some member of the Zombie Apocalypse Response Team (Z.A.R.T.) a fine wife.

Mail Boxes

Mail Order Bride

Maintain Eye Contact

Making your own rules


A man walks into a Pharmacy and says to the beautiful female teller, “Umm… err, I’ve never purchased condoms before, and I don’t know what size to buy.”

“That’s okay,” she says, as she is taken with his physical attributes. She decides to have some fun with him. “You can test your size on the fence out in back.”

So the man walks out back and he sees three holes. Just as he prepares to stick his penis in the first hole, the beautiful teller sneaks over to the other side of the fence.

The man sticks his penis through the first hole where it is gently caressed by the teller.
Then he pulls it it out and sticks it through the second hole where the teller begins to suck his penis and give him a blow job.
Then, finally, he pulls it out and sticks it in the third hole. The teller takes her vagina, wraps it around his penis, and begins to hump it.  Just before he is about to climax, she pulls away, quickly pulls up her pants, calms herself down, and scurries back inside, where the man is beginning to stumble back in.

She starts to giggle and says, “Have you decided on the appropriate size?”

“Screw the condoms! Just give me 3 yards of that fence!”


Well, it’s finally Friday morning and after another really crappy night’s sleep I’ll be very glad to finish class, get some sleep and head home.  It’s been a long week.

I truly enjoy the fact that I get to travel occasionally in my job, but, like most people, I’m ready to go home after the last day.  I’ll come back after class and let you know how the day went.  Until then, how about a couple more laffs?


Ginny sends us out these Health Capsules and most I find interesting and at least one has caused me to change something in my life.  Now this one, on the other hand…I get the very strong impression that there is a joke in there somewhere.

Maybe I need more coffee.


A Muslim, a Jew, a Christian, and an Atheist all walk in to a coffee shop… and they talk and they laugh and they drink coffee and become good friends.
It’s not a joke.
It’s what happens when you’re not an asshole.


Hey!  Wait a damn minute! I just realized that when people in their 20’s talk about “old people” they’re talking about us!!


Well…..class got out a little early, so I decided to drive home on Friday, ran into 4 or 5 major traffic jams and wished several times I had waited until Saturday.  But, it’s now very late, and I am home and safe and I’m going to close this and post it now.

Thanks for spending the week with me dear campers.


Impish Dragon

Posted in Uncategorized | 6 Comments

Leprechaun Laughs # 357 for Wednesday Sept 21st 2016


Yuppers folks that’s an old Underwood Manual Typewriter you see next to my Bushmill’s Black Bush there. Drive big brother (and Impish) crazy when I use it because it totally thwarts cyber spying. Besides it looks darn nice on my antique roll top desk.

Actually it’s the latest on retro keyboard conversions which I just finished assembling for someone. You take an actual working typewriter, add on the parts from the conversion kit and TA-A! You now have a dual functioning typewriter and Bluetooth enabled keyboard for your computer tablet or smartphone. Turn the Bluetooth off, and you can use the typewriter as a normal typewriter but have the option of recording what you type to an SD card as a text file. Pretty neat, especially if your into Steampunk or ‘old school’ decorating your home office

As you can see from the right side of the photo I’m still entrenched in paperwork. I hoping with Impish gone for a week I’ll have all the peace and quiet I need to finally catch it all up.


Opening Logo 8


So for a while now in the mornings Ninja Cat Clan Mistress SC has been getting up on the chair beside mine at the table and investigation my coffee cup. I had thought this was due to our switching to 1/2 & 1/2 for our coffee since we were constantly pouring out of date milk down the drain. I’ve been dipping the tip of a finger into my coffee and allowing her to lick it off as a way of getting rid of her (ever try arguing with a cat who is sure she’s interested and wants some of something you have but will not share?)

Think I’m kidding? Here’s a couple photos from a day when she didn’t get any of my coffee because we got to sleep in and basically got up in time for lunch. Of course I had coffee but I had it with a splash of Bailey’s which SC detests.


Turns out I may have been helping to create another caffeine dependent little monster in my house as Chai already goes bananas when I open a fresh can of coffee to blend brown gold. She insists on sniffing the cans and having the ‘coffee dust’ from one of the cans rubbed into her fur (she prefers her nip this way as well) so she can go find some cat hidey-hole to lick it all out of her fur then.


Speaking of Coffee (a.k.a. Nectar of the Gods) I’ve some sobering news about it-

A coffee shortage is looming — here’s how soon it could be extinct

Coffee is more than just the crucial beverage that makes it easier to face the workday. It provides comfort, culture, and is an essential source of the caffeine that Harvard neuroscientist Charles Czeisler says makes modern life possible. 

But the global coffee supply is currently at risk, with shortages already starting to affect the world.

A full half of the world’s area that’s deemed suitable for growing coffee will be lost by 2050 if climate change remains unchecked, according to a new report from The Climate Institute of Australia.

By 2080, the report estimates that wild coffee (which helps us find genetic varietals that might be more resistant to climate stress) could go extinct.

Coffee shortages that make it harder to get good coffee and that hurt the livelihoods of 25 million coffee farmers around the globe are already having an effect, and it’s not just environmental research groups that are concerned about future access to coffee. Advisors for corporate giants like Starbucks and Lavazza agree.

“We have a cloud hovering over our head. It’s dramatically serious,” Mario Cerutti, Green Coffee and Corporate Relations Partner at Lavazza, said at a hospitality conference in Italy in 2015.

“Climate change can have a significant adverse effect in the short term,” he said. “It’s no longer about the future; it’s the present.”

What’s happening to coffee?

People drink more than 2.25 billion cups of coffee each and every day. The coffee industry is a major one, producing the second most valuable export for developing countries. But the better and more commonly grown type of coffee, Coffea Arabica, can only thrive in very specific conditions. For now, that means tropical highlands around the globe, from Central America and Brazil to Indonesia, Vietnam, and East Africa, its place of origin.

But a warming world and extreme weather, including both heavy rains and drought, are making it harder to grow coffee in these regions, according to the report. Temperature and heavy rain have helped a fungus called Coffee Leaf Rust spread through Central America and into South America, destroying crops. Pests like the Coffee Berry Borer are spreading for the same reasons. Drought in Brazil cut coffee production by around 30% in 2014 in Minas Gerais, a major coffee region.

Even a half a degree of temperature change can make a region that used to be a coffee gold mine unsuitable. Moving production to higher altitudes is not always feasible and can be especially difficult for the small farmers that make up 80-90% of coffee growers.

By 2050, half of currently suitable land will no longer be suitable, unless the world can limit warming to the 1.5-2 degree Celsius rise that was set as a goal at the 2016 Paris Climate Agreement, and really, even 1.5 degrees is pushing it for most farmers.

It’s not a completely hopeless scenario — cutting emissions and limiting warming to 1.5 degrees would make a big difference, both for individual coffee lovers and for the 120 million people who make a living from the coffee supply chain. Buying coffee from groups that provide fair incomes to farmers can help those communities adapt.

But this is a serious situation and one worth paying attention to now, before problems get worse down the line.

As Starbucks sustainability director Jim Hanna told The Guardian in 2011 — five years ago — it’s urgent.

“If we sit by and wait until the impacts of climate change are so severe that is impacting our supply chain then that puts us at a greater risk,” he said. “From a business perspective we really need to address this now, and to look five, 10, and 20 years down the road.”

SEE ALSO: I went to the source of the world’s best coffee — and saw firsthand why the industry is in trouble


Every time someone shows up for a visit from the Martian side of the Leprechaun Family tree there’s always a big ta-do over their vehicle parking!


Just like Molly! She called me from the car the other day right outside the house because there was ‘a bug’ on the outside of her car window. When I got out there it was so small she had to call my attention to it by putting a pen on the other side of the glass from it because she wasn’t putting her finger that close to a bug.









[I believe if memory serves I was served a cooked version of something similar to this and this is in fact some form of ‘Giant Prawn’. Going to have to think about aqua farming some of these in Crab  Cay. I can see Impish with one stuck in his nose now can’t you? If this is what they are referring to in Australia when they say ‘put another shrimp on the barbee’, I can see why you only need one per person!]


That’s as frightening as waking to find the Burger King hovering over your bed with breakfast! Well at least for everyone except for Impish, he’s been demanding that level of service from BK for years now.



[ THAT folks is a Giant Sturgeon, you know the caviar making machine. YES you are exactly right it DOES look like its armored with hard plates, mainly because it is. Can you imagine how desperate they first guy who thought about fighting one of these killing it and eating it must have been? NO WONDER he even ate the eggs! ]



[ OK so this last one might have actually belonged in a Darwin Awards feature but it’s going to be a while before I run one of those. Besides, HELLS NO I ain’t doing that! ]

Just this morning, wife called.

She was crying.

She said sorry to me.

While crying she also said she will never fight with me.

She will always listen to me.

She will do whatever I tell her to do.

I was overwhelmed listening to all this.

Don’t know whose wife she was.

It was wrong number but felt very good!


I’ll freely admit this has happened to me in the past (I think marriage cures this syndrome the second you say ‘I do?’). Though my mind did a detour to the other head and I think they both went snorkeling in the gutter. In my defense, this is a close approximation of the dress I was confronted by except hers was Jade Green to match her eyes. She had natural Auburn hair that hung to the middle of her back,  always smelled of Lavender and Heather and had the most mischievous mirthful sparkling eyes.


Guys, be honest now, where did your mind take unauthorized leave to the second that photo registered?


It gets worse too. Judging by the smell coming from that water, that’s Shit Creek that poor SOB is up too.


Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree. Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby.

“Gentlemen,” the Devil started… “Due to the fact that Heaven is now overcrowded, St. Peter has agreed to limit the number of people entering Heaven. If anyone of you can ask me a question which I don’t know or cannot answer, then you’re worthy enough to go to Heaven; if not, then you’ll come with me to Hell.” 

The philosopher then stepped up, “OK, give me the most comprehensive report on Socrates’ teachings.”

With a snap of his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The philosopher read it and concluded it was correct. “Then, go to Hell!”  With another snap of his finger, the philosopher disappeared.

The mathematician then asked… “Give me the most complicated formula ever theorized!” With a snap of his finger, another stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The mathematician read it and reluctantly agreed it was correct. “Then, go to Hell!” with another snap of his finger, the mathematician disappeared too.

The idiot then stepped forward and said, “Bring me a chair!” The Devil brought forward a chair. “Drill 7 holes on the seat.” The Devil did just that. The idiot then sat on the chair and let out a very loud fart. Standing up, he asked, “Which hole did my fart come out from?”

The Devil inspected the seat and said, “The third hole from the right.” “Wrong,” said the idiot, “it’s from my asshole.” And the idiot went to heaven.

SPEAKING of assholes, idiots and devils,that reminds me, it time for another of our ‘We’re not paranoid because its true.” series called…


New law change could allow mass surveillance by government

By Mark Jones, Komando.com

Are you frightened by the thought of your own government spying on you? Your personal information was secretly tapped for the National Security Agency by telecommunications companies for years. In fact, billions of emails and other private communications have been scanned and read by the NSA for decades.

The U.S. government uses spying techniques to try and prevent terrorism and cyberattacks. Skeptics worry that these techniques could be reverse-engineered and used against the government or innocent Americans. The loss of personal privacy is another issue government spying brings to light.

Now, there is a plan in place that would dramatically expand the government’s hacking and surveillance authority. A rule change would give the FBI authority to use malware to hack into an unlimited number of computers.

Rule 41 of the Federal Rules of Criminal Procedure puts limits on how the FBI obtains electronic search warrants for computer networks. Currently, a federal judge can only authorize the FBI to install malware on computers that they suspect are being used for criminal activity. The computer also has to be located within the judge’s jurisdiction.

Changes to Rule 41 would remove those limitations. Basically making it legal for the government to hack anyone. These changes will go into effect on December 1st, unless Congress acts to stop them.

At this time, no congressional hearings on the rule changes are scheduled. However, a bipartisan effort in the Senate is reportedly underway to change that.


Miserable rotten prick! His ‘ spelling aid’ always made me say things I didn’t Nintendo!


Yeah like that methane explosion in the little dragons room when Impish lit up that cigar… I swear that was the shittiest take off I’ve ever seen him make!

A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two young people show up. One is a good looking guy in his twenties and the other is a gorgeous blonde about the same age.

The circus owner tells them, “I’m not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you both better be good or you’re history. Here’s your equipment – a chair, a whip, and a gun. Who wants to try out first?”

The girl says, “I’ll go first.” She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion’s cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her, so she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks,

sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her ankles. He continues to lick her calves, kisses them, and then rests his head at her feet.

The circus owner’s mouth is on the floor. He remarks, “I’ve never seen a display like that in my life.” He then turns to the young man and asks, “Can you top that?”

“No problem,” replies the young man, “just get that lion out of the way.”


OK I’ll confess Molly has the same problem with me and our home office, though mostly relating to coffee cups



Funyuns rock! So do onion rings, onion blossoms and fried onion straws!



I wasn’t planning on any recipes for this issue but after all those food jokes I figured I had to put a couple in.

Orange Brownies



These no-chocolate brownies are so delicious—like taking a bite of sunshine. Orange lovers go crazy for these




Orange Brownies

Prep: 10 min | Level: Easy | Cook: 30 min | Serves: 24



1 cup Unsalted Butter, Softened
1-½ cup Granulated Sugar
4 whole Large Eggs
2 teaspoons Pure Orange Extract
1 whole Large Orange, Zested (reserve 1 Teaspoon Zest For Glaze)
1-½ cup All-purpose Flour
1 teaspoon Salt


1 cup Confectioners Sugar
2 Tablespoons Orange Juice
1 teaspoon Grated Orange Zest


For the brownies:

Preheat oven to 350 F. Line a 13x9x2-inch baking pan with foil, extending the foil over
the edges. Spray the foil with non-stick cooking spray. Set the pan aside.

In a mixing bowl using an electric mixer, cream the butter and sugar until light and
fluffy. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Beat in the orange
extract and orange zest.

In another bowl, whisk together the flour and salt. Add this into the creamed mixture
and beat until combined.

Spread the batter evenly into the prepared pan. Bake at 350 F for 25-30 minutes, or
until light golden brown and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

Remove from oven and immediately pierce the entire top of the brownies with a fork.
A meat fork works great for this.

For the glaze:

Combine the confectioners’ sugar, orange juice and the reserved orange
zest in a small bowl, stirring until smooth. Pour the glaze evenly over the warm
brownies. Cool completely before cutting.

Using the excess foil, lift the brownies from the pan to a cutting board. Peel the foil
away from the sides of the bars and cut into squares.

This 3-in-1 Magic Cake Will Blow Your Mind


Prep time: 20 min | Cook time: 50 min

Total time: 1 hour 10 min | Serves: 9 – 12

One simple batter turns into a 3 layered cake with a top layer of sponge, a middle layer of custard and a fudge-like base. It’s like….magic!


1 Strawberries, Fresh
4 Eggs, yolks, whites
3/4 cup All purpose flour, plain
1 Icing sugar
3/4 cup Sugar
1 tsp. Vanilla extract
1 Whipped cream
1 stick Butter, unsalted
2 cups Milk

To Serve (optional)

  • Icing sugar (powdered sugar), for dusting
  • Fresh strawberries
  • Whipped cream


  1. Preheat oven to 325F/160C.
  2. Butter a 8″ x 8″ / 20cm x 20cm square cake tin.
  3. Beat egg whites with a mixer until stiff peaks form. Set aside.
  4. Place the egg yolks and sugar in a bowl and beat until it turns pale yellow – about 1 minute.
  5. Add the vanilla extract and butter and beat until well incorporated – about 30 seconds to 1 minute.
  6. Add the flour and beat until just combined.
  7. Pour the milk in slowly while beating, and beat until well combined (or if using a hand held mixer, add ¼ milk at a time, beating in between).
  8. Use a spatula to fold in the egg whites in the batter, one third at a time, until just incorporated. You don’t want to knock the air out of the egg whites. Don’t worry if there are a few egg white lumps in the batter. The batter should be very thin, almost like a thick pouring cream.
  9. Pour the batter into the prepared cake tin.

Baking Directions

  1. Bake until the top is golden brown and the cake does not “jiggle” when you gently shake the tin – around 40 to 50 minutes. Check the cake at 30 minutes – if the top is already golden brown but the cake is not yet set (i.e. it jiggles), cover loosely with foil and return to the oven, 10 minutes at a time, until set.
  2. Allow to cool in the tin for 10 minutes, then turn out onto a cooling rack.(Note 3) Cool completely before serving.

To Serve

  1. Cut into squares – I cut it into 12 in the photo, but 9 is more realistic serving size portions.
  2. Dust with icing sugar just before serving.
  3. Serve with a side of whipped cream and strawberries, if using.


1. Australia vs. US vs. UK measurements – I made this recipe 5 times. 3 of the 5 times, I weighed the ingredients, once I used Australian cups and once I used US cups. I couldn’t tell the difference in the end result.

2. The baking time for this cake will differ depending on the oven. Of the 5 times I made this cake, the bake time differed by 15 minutes. Once it was 40 minutes, 3 times it was 50 minutes and once it was 55 minutes.

The safest way to get the baking time right is to follow these directions:
a) The cake is ready when the top is golden brown and the cake doesn’t “jiggle” when you gently shake the pan. If it jiggles, there is still raw batter inside.
b) I found that 4 of the 5 times I made it, the top became golden brown before the cake was set.
c) So to get the bake time right, check it first at 30 minutes. If the top is golden brown, cover loosely with foil and return to the oven until the cake is set. Check every 10 minutes – any longer, and you’ll risk the cake overcooking.

3. To get the cake out of the tin, just turn it out like a normal cake. The custard is set, it is not like super soft jelly. What I do is place a cutting board on top of the tin, flip it upside down (it slips right out) then place a cooling rack on top then flip it again (so you end up with the right side up on the cooling rack).

OK that is probably all the desserts Ginny can sit for and to be fair I didn’t post a warning so time to move on to something savory.

Chicken Seasoning Blend

This dry mix of herbs and spices adds a unique zing to any chicken dish, it has just the right amount of heat and flavor to make all your guests beg for more. Don’t be scared by the long list, most of it is spices you will probably have in your cupboard. Note, it also gives chili a great flavor without adding too much heat.


1 1/2 teaspoons sea salt
1 teaspoon dried basil
1 teaspoon crushed dried rosemary
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon dry mustard powder
1/2 teaspoon paprika
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/2 teaspoon ground dried thyme
1/4 teaspoon celery seed
1/4 teaspoon dried parsley
1/8 teaspoon ground cumin
1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/8 teaspoon chicken bouillon granules


  1. Mix the salt, basil, rosemary, garlic powder, mustard, paprika, black pepper, thyme, celery seed, parsley, cumin, cayenne pepper, and chicken bouillon together until blended.


I also add a 1/2 teaspoon of onion powder to mine and prefer using the Knorr Tomato & Chicken bullion granules as it makes for a darker richer gravy from the pan drippings

Works well on pork or as seasoning in burgers/ meatloaf too

I use boneless skinless chicken breasts or thighs when I can so a light brushing with Olive Oil helps the seasoning stick.

Brush and season both sides place in a 9 x 13” pan. Add a 1/2 cup of your choice of water, beer, white wine and bake at 325 to 350 until done.

Leave out the chicken bullion granules and you’ve got a decent seasoning for grilled veg too.

Brush both sides with Olive Olive season lightly and grill until desired doneness is reached.



South Texas man has one of the best obituaries ever

Imagine Ron Swanson if he was the “best concrete contractor in all of Texas”

A man named Howard Wayne Neal from the tiny town of Lolita near Victoria has one of the best obituaries of the year.

Neal, 74, died on Sept. 11 and the obituary placed in the Victoria Advocate last week evokes equal parts Ron Swanson and Charles Bukowski.

Howard Neal


LOLITA – Wayne Neal has exited his rickety old body, having lived twice as long as he expected and way longer then he deserved. He passed on September 11, 2016, at 74 years old. He often wished in his later years that he had not treated his body like a Tavern.

Wayne never met a man he didn’t want to Indian leg wrestle, or play mercy with. Mainly because he was an ornery ole bastard

He was a modest man who very seldom bragged about all of his treasures on Facebook. By the Way, who the hell taught him about Facebook?

He was considered the best concrete contractor in all of Texas, and if you ever doubted him, you could ask anyone that endured the hours of one more and we will call it a night at Wayne’s Hurricane Bar.

Proceeded in death by his wife Carolyn (mainly because she had enough of his shenanigans), son Christopher Wayne Neal, mother Irene, father Harold, brother Jim, and sister Candy.

He is survived by his favorite son Buddy and another kid, some grandchildren, a few more great grandchildren, a trilogy of brothers, and one sister.

He had a passion for old cars, scotch, his construction company, scotch, travel, and oh yeah scotch. Did we mention scotch?

He will be missed by many and remembered by all who knew him.

Funeral service will be held on Saturday, September 17, 2016 at 2:00 p.m. in the Oaklawn Funeral Home Chapel in Edna. Burial to follow in the Lolita Cemetery in Lolita. Jim Munro will be officiating.

Texas woman’s obit lists cause of death as ‘2016 presidential campaign’

In Memory of  Elene Meyer Davis

October 7, 1924 – June 7, 2016


Elene Meyer Davis was born in Yoakum, Texas on the 7th of October 1924, and died on the 7th of June 2016, of complications due to congestive heart failure and the 2016 Presidential campaign.
Elene was Salutatorian of her class at Yoakum High School, schooled in life and politics at the knee of her father, Marcell A. Meyer, who was a Jeffersonian Democrat, a highly independent thinker, a lumberman who rode fifty miles a day on horseback, with a shotgun in his saddle in the logging camps of south Louisiana, and who later founded and operated the Woodring-Meyer Lumber Company and Tex-Tan Leather company in Yoakum. She graduated from The University of Texas at Austin at the age of 19 and was pleased that her children and some of her grandchildren followed in her footsteps there.

Elene’s mother, Myrtle Levy Meyer, was the descendant of early settlers of the State of Louisiana. Her great-grandfather, Lazarus Levy, was a member of the Prussian Brigade from Louisiana and was wounded during the Civil War at The Battle of Shiloh in 1862, at the time, the bloodiest battle in American history. The favorite niece of Henri Bendel, Myrtle taught Elene about art and design, more than a smattering of French and German, a love of travel, and the value of gardening, sewing and cooking well, all of which Elene undertook with enthusiasm and great success. One day Elene decided to start growing roses. By the next day, after she had bought more than 100 bushes and enlisted her husband Leon to help plant them, he quipped in all his years as an entrepreneur he had never before seen a hobby turn into an industry so quickly. In no time, Elene became a well-known Rosarian.

Until her death, Elene honored an obligation to preserve her family’s Southern legacy, personally undertaking the restoration of the Jewish Cemetery in Lafayette, Louisiana and maintaining her membership in the Jefferson Davis Chapter of the Daughters of the Confederacy. A student of history, she felt strongly that political correctness was an excuse to erase facts and history and she deplored the misinformed, the ill-informed and the mal-informed and thus made no apologies for the Truth, which she demanded from her children and others at all times.

Seems even dying is done bigger in Texas! I guess I’d better start giving serious thought to my obit. Lord only knows what will get said if Impish writes it!


Richardson Adventure Farm in Spring Grove, Illinois is known for having the World’s Largest Corn Maze. This year’s corn maze theme celebrates the 50th anniversary of Star Trek. If twisting and turning through 10 miles of maze isn’t enough, how about climbing the observation tower, bouncing around on giant jumping pillows, cheering on a pig race, or soaring through the air on a zip line?

RorW 3

Blumenthal, DeLauro in New Haven: 9/11 families should have right to sue foreign governments

NEW HAVEN >> As people across Connecticut and around the country remembered those killed on Sept. 11, 2001, two of the state’s federal lawmakers called on the president to sign legislation that could allow victims’ families to sue foreign governments that might have had a role in the attacks.

Speaking near the federal courthouse in New Haven, U.S. Sen. Richard Blumenthal and U.S. Rep. Rosa DeLauro said President Barack Obama should sign the legislation to bring some closure to the families of nearly 3,000 people killed in the attacks.

“They broke our hearts but they did not break our ideals of justice and fairness,” said Blumenthal, D-Conn. “That is what these families are seeking.”

Blumenthal and DeLauro, D-3, were joined by Brett and Gail Eagleson, the son and wife of Bruce Eagleson of Middlefield, who died in the attacks.

Bruce Eagleson, 53, who was killed while helping his employees evacuate from the south tower of the World Trade Center, was one of 161 people with Connecticut ties to die in the attacks.

“He saved lives, (he was) an incredible human being,” DeLauro said. “(He was) a husband, a father, a great boss and a friend. In saving lives, he lost his own.”

Brett Eagleson said it is important to the family to have a court rule on whether foreign governments, such as that of Saudi Arabia, were culpable for the attack.

“It’s always been about accountability,” said Brett Eagleson, who lives in Middletown. “We want the truth, we want justice and we want accountability.”

The U.S. House approved the Justice Against Sponsors of Terrorism Act in a voice vote Friday; the U.S. Senate unanimously passed the legislation in May. But the Obama administration has signaled it might veto the measure on concerns the legislation could open the United States to lawsuits from other countries.

“To now hear that all our hard work is going to be threatened by a potential veto is a kick in the stomach to 2,996 (families of) victims of terrorism on American soil,” Brett Eagleson said. “There is no excuse for a veto.”

Both Blumenthal and DeLauro vowed to fight to override the president. Blumenthal said he was “very confident” Congress could muster the votes to overcome a veto and he said he would lead the Senate effort.

“I hope he will be on the right side of this issue and the right side of history and make sure these families receive justice,” he said.

Gail Eagleson, who still lives in Middlefield, said she wants the same opportunity that any family member of a murder victim would get. “Anyone who has had a loved one murdered would want to find out who did it and hold them accountable,” she said.

Fifteen of the 19 hijackers involved in the attacks in New York, Washington and Pennsylvania were Saudi nationals. In July, Congress released 28 pages from a report on the attacks, which renewed interest in potential Saudi government involvement in the hijackings.

Both Blumenthal and DeLauro dismissed the possibility the United States could be sued by people in other countries. “That is a myth,” Blumenthal said. “It would not increase the liability of the United States. The United States does not sponsor acts of terrorism in other countries and the courts of law in other countries could not hold the United States responsible for acts that it does not do.”

Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates have voiced strong objections to the lawsuit legislation. Blumenthal and DeLauro both said potential strain on diplomatic relations with the two countries should not be an impediment to the bill.

“We need to fight for these families like the Eaglesons who have lost so much and who have not been able to pursue justice,” DeLauro said. “That pursuit cannot be blocked by defense of diplomatic niceties.”

Blumenthal said he thinks the U.S. shouldn’t “kowtow” to the Saudis and that the United States should start to question whether Saudi Arabia should be an American ally.

“That attack was against our country,” Blumenthal said. “I don’t think we ought to spare any steps, especially when justice for our citizens is at stake.”

We don’t have to worry about lawsuit from other counties the Apologizer in Chief hands out I’m sorry for America’s behavior cash like it was Monopoly money.

The Saudis should be afraid after decades of their hypocritical appease both sides by looking the other way so much their heads resemble revolving doors behavior. Especially when it comes to ‘the Royal Family’ which is large enough to be a small 3rd world nation on its own (seriously who the hell ever heard of someone who was 183rd in line to the throne being considered and deferentially treated as royalty?).

They’re not worried about the money they might lose they are worried about being held accountable for their actions and the court of public opinion as they secretly ignore the goings on of the terrorist and those (including some the the extended to infinity practically) royal family’s funding of terrorism.

The behavior and attitude of the Saudis is best summed up by this clip from the West Wing. God bless C.J. Craig for telling it like it is.

West Wing 3:19 – Saudi Arabia



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Dragon Laffs #1504

Header1504Good Morning Campers,

As you can see from the header, there is a road trip in my future.  Well, not really MY future, but the fantasy “human” world that I live in, that Lethal doesn’t like me spending time in.

But you know, my fantasy wife and children rely on my fantasy paycheck to keep a fantasy roof over their heads and fantasy food on their table, so sometimes, I just have to pretend and go to the “other” world and get things done.

It’s been a while since I’ve actually gone anywhere for any length of time for the fantasy Air Force that I work for.  I leave on Sunday (tomorrow) and I’ll be back next Saturday.  I’m attending an Explosive Safety Officer’s Course and I’m really excited about getting to blow some shit up!

Where am I going in my fantasy world?  I’m going to Volk Field right outside of Fort Douglas in Wisconsin.  It’s about a 7 hour drive and I’m checking out a government vehicle from the motor pool.  Except, it’s not called the motor pool anymore, now it’s vehicle dispatch.  Yeah, whatever.  I’m sure there’s some stupid politically correct reason why we don’t call it a motor pool anymore…maybe it’s offensive to motors to say they are as big as a pool….or maybe it’s offensive to pools to say they smell like a motor.  Who knows.  It’s pretty damn dumb, if you ask me.

They don’t even call them latrines anymore.  They’re restrooms.

Yeah, okay, sure.  Restrooms. 

Do any of you know ANYONE who has EVER rested in one?  No, me neither.


Where’s Volk Field?

00Okay, any other questions?

Yes, you in the back?

No, I have no idea what the square root of pi is.  Sheesh!

Anyway, it’s been a while since you guys have heard from me, so this issue is jam-packed full of stuff.  And I could probably fill an issue twice as big.  How?  Because I am so dang far behind in EVERYTHING that as of this instant (730 pm on Thursday night)  I have 533 unopened emails.


So, the lesson for today is two-fold.  Number one, don’t EVER let yourself get behind because it’s almost impossible to get caught up again and B) if you’ve sent me something and I haven’t gotten back to you or published it or something like that….now you know why.

So, let’s get started knocking some of this outta here!

let's laugh


Amen!  That is from the Nordic Brotherhood, but as far as I’m concerned it’s from the Mythical, Magical, Fictional Brotherhood as well!

A woman was in a coma.
She had been in it for months. Nurses were in her room giving her a bed bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor whenever she touched her there. They tried it again and sure enough, there was definite movement.

They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, ‘As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little ‘0ral sex’ will do the trick and bring her out of the coma’

The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they would close the curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his wife’s room. After a few minutes the woman’s monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate. The nurses run back into the room. ‘What happened!?‘ they cried.

The husband said, ‘I’m not sure; maybe she choked.!’

Although I think this joke is funny (yes, it is!  Are we going to go through this again?  It’s a JOKE.  Lighten up!) For a lot of us men, you can also remember that Men Understand more than you might assume.  We just can’t seem to get the initiative up to make us give a damn.



Do you know why nobody has ever overdosed on marijuana?

Because if you laid out one-hundred joints and a lighter, and told someone to try and smoke them all…

By about the fourth joint, they’ve already lost the lighter, ordered a pizza, cuddled with their dog and fell fast asleep…peacefully…painlessly…

And they didn’t wake up with a hangover.

And just another example of male ingenuity. 

20 video


dragon pix

I recently was digging through some old photo albums and came across this one from the day I was born.


Dang!  Wasn’t I cute?  Geez, what the heck happened?


I think that last cartoon was an artist’s rendition of … me.

This next one could actually be called a “Golden Oldie” since it has been around before.  But, those of you who know some of my own personal rules for what goes in Dragon Laffs and what doesn’t make it might remember that the primary rule is that I must not have heard it before and it has to, at the very least, amuse me.

There are exceptions to the rule (since the rules are mine, I make the exceptions) and one is that if it is a really funny joke.

This one is a really funny joke.

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, “If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.”
In response to Bill’s comments, Ford issued a press release stating:  If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):
1…For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash…….twice a day.
2…Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3…Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4…Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5…Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive – but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6…The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single “This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation” warning light.
7…The airbag system would ask,”Are you sure?” before deploying.
8…Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9…Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10…You’d have to press the “Start” button to turn the engine off.
PS – I’d like to add that when all else fails, you could call “customer service” in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!


Yeah, that one should have probably come with a “Groaner” warning.  Sorry.

I put my scale in the bathroom corner, and that’s where that bastard will stay until he apologizes!





This is what I imagine it is like for Lethal as he leaves his island country of Leprechaunia.  I know it’s not true, but in my mind, this is what I see.


The sheriff of a small town was also the town’s veterinarian.
One night the phone rang, and his wife answered. 
An agitated voice inquired, “Is your husband there?”
“Do you require his services as a sheriff or as a vet?” the wife asked.
“Both!” the caller replied.  “We can’t get our dog’s mouth open, and there’s a burglar in it.”


Judge: “You say you’re petitioning for a legal name change?”
Leon: “Yes, your honor.”
Judge: (looking at petition) “I can see why, your nane is
Mr… Leon Shitferbrains, is it?”
Leon: “Yes, your honor.”
Judge: “And what do you want to change your name to, Mr. Shitferbrains?”
Leon: ” Melvin,  your honor.”


Yeah, I have days like that, too.          A LOT!

Being rather bald, I comfort myself on a visit to the hairdresser with the opening gambit: “Grass doesn’t grow on a busy street.”

However, I was not prepared for the comeback of one of the barbers: “We always say, there’s no sense putting a roof on an empty barn.”





And it’s in a nice little “to-go” carrier.



“Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.” ~ Robert A. Heinlein



So, we here at DL&LL Enterprises gathered a bunch of kids in our daycare, yes, we have our own daycare for our employees.  Okay, let’s talk about that for a second.
We have our own daycare because we are of the belief that anything that  makes our folks happy will equate to more/better workers and work.  We also have things like free ice cream, our own pizza service, different areas they can set their work stations up in, like by the waterfall or near the rainforest.
Anyway, in the daycare, we not only have professionals who take care of the kids, some of the times some of the mythical/magical/fictional characters will stop in and play with the kids.
Well, this one time, we had a bunch of the kids answer some questions about marriage and this is what they come up with:


You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports,  and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
—   Alan, age 10 I think Alan’s wife is going to have some issues with his expectations.

-No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.
—   Kristen, age   10 As has been said by smarter people than me, Kristen, you never really know who you marry until after the ceremony.

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person  FOREVER by then.
—   Camille, age 10  Well, at the age of ten, that’s more than twice FOREVER.

You  might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling  at the same kids.
—    Derrick, age  8 There is so much truth and sad honesty in this answer that it is very funny.

Both don’t want any more kids.
—   Lori,  age  8

-Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
—   Lynnette, age   8   I’m sorry…what were you saying?

-On  the first date, they just tell each other lies and that  usually gets them interested enough to go for a second  date.
—    Martin, age  10   Martin, you have no idea.

-When  they’re rich.
—   Pam, age  7  Pam, I see a much older man in your future.

-The  law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess  with that.
—  Curt,  age    7

-The  rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should  marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to  do.
—   Howard,  age 8   Absolutely.  Especially if you’ve, you know, already gone that far with them, and all.

It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys  need someone to clean up after them.
—   Anita, age  9  Anita, you have no idea how quickly girls will stop cleaning up after the boys after they are married.

There  sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?
—   Kelvin, age  8   Yes, yes there certainly would.

And   the #1 Favorite  is  …….

Tell  your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck!
—   Ricky, age  10   ESPECIALLY if she looks like a dump truck!


Enjoy, here is a collection of notes left in milk bottles….
** Dear milkman: I’ve just had a baby, please leave another one.
**Please leave an extra pint of paralyzed milk.
**Cancel one pint after the day after today.
** Please don’t leave any more milk.  All they do is drink it
** Milkman, please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk.
**Milkman, please could I have a loaf but not bread today.
**Please cancel milk. I have nothing coming into the house but two sons on the dole.
** Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I’ve been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks.
**Sorry about yesterday’s note, I didn’t mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round.
**When you leave my milk please knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you to give me a hand to turn the mattress.
**Please knock. My TV’s broken down and I missed last night’s Coronation Street. If you saw it, will you tell me what happened over a cup of tea?
**My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle?
**Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbour told me.
**Please send me details about cheap milk as I am stagnant.
**Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it.
**From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don’t want any milk.
**My back door is open. Please put milk in ‘fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table in pence, because we want to play bingo tonight.
**Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday..
**Milkman, please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door.  PS  Don’t leave any milk.
**No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice.

Having lived in a little village in England for several years, I can tell you that all of those notes are not only true, but not out of the ordinary.  On hot days, our milkman would let himself in the house and put the milk in the fridge (along with bacon, ham, sausage and many other farm type staples).  Nobody locked their doors (to be honest, I don’t think I even had a key to the cottage I lived in) and it wasn’t unusual at all for us to come back to the house and find flowers on the table from the neighbor who thought we’d like them.

Different times, different places.



Yeah, it’s that time.  Let’s throw some mud and see what sticks.4lYeah…accidently…how exactly do you commit suicide and put three bullets in your own head?
4m4nYup.  That’s the way it is.
4oJust be careful you don’t end up committing suicide.
4p4qSeriously, can they really not see the correlation?
And one more…



Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives
  1. The later you come home, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
  2. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.
  3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
  4. A dog’s parents never visit.
  5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
  6. You never have to wait for a dog; they’re ready to go 24-hours a day and at a moment’s notice.
  7. Dogs find you amusing when your drunk.
  8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
  9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, “If I died, would you get another dog?”
  10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
  11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
  12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don’t get mad.  They just think it’s interesting.
  13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
  14. If a dog leaves, it won’t take half your stuff.

    To test this theory:
    Lock your wife and your dog in the garage for an hour.   Then open it and see who’s happy to see you!


breaking news

An amazing story, that’s breaking as we write it!!!


Pneumonia Virus Terrified After Remembering What Clintons Capable Of0

WASHINGTON—Expressing regret over its reckless decision to infect the Democratic presidential nominee, the virus causing Hillary Clinton’s pneumonia was reportedly terrified Monday after remembering what the Clintons were capable of. “Oh shit, what the hell was I thinking—you don’t get on the wrong side of these people,” said the infectious agent, which became increasingly worried while recalling just how far the Clintons were willing to go to get what they wanted, as well as what often happened to those who dared to cross the powerful politicians. “Everybody knows you never mess with the Clintons. These people won’t hesitate to absolutely crush you, and they have the money and connections to do it. I knew I should’ve just stayed clear. I’m so fucked.” At press time, the horrified virus was reportedly planning to avoid the Clintons’ wrath by taking its own life.
Ah, yes.  Funny in so many ways and on so many levels.


Tim Tebow hosted his own tryout for Major League Baseball scouts in L.A. Tuesday where he hit, ran and fielded. No one doubts his natural ability. The other night, Tim Tebow struck and killed a deer, and Tim said afterwards he felt terrible about it, but when he’s jogging, he’s in his own world.



Little known fact: The ACME company featured in so many Coyote plans to catch the Road Runner is actually a subsidiary of DL & LL Enterprises.  Just sayin’.

God was just about done creating the Universe, but He had two extra things left in His bag of creations, so He decided to give one to Adam and one to Eve. He called them over.
“I have a couple of things here left in My bag for the two of you,” God said. “This is one of them. It’s the ability to pee standing up. It’s a very handy thing. I was wondering if either of you wanted this ability.”
Before God had a chance to explain any further, Adam jumped up and blurted out in childish glee, “Oh, can I have that one? Please? I’d love to be able to do that! It’d be so great! When I’m working in the garden, I could just stand there and let it fly! It would be so cool! I could write my name in the sand! Oh, please! Please! Can I have that one? Please?”
Eve just smiled and said to God, “If Adam really wants that one, he should have it. It seems to be the sort of thing that will make him happy. Give him that ability. I don’t mind.”
“Very well,” God said. And so Adam was given the ability to control the direction of his misdirection while in a vertical position. He was so happy, he celebrated by wetting down the bark on the tree nearest him, laughing with delight all the while. And it was good.
“OK, let’s see,” God said, looking into His bag of gifts. “What do I have left? Ah, yes. Here it is. Multiple orgasms…”




Machine guns


I can definitely attest to that one.  It’s so crowded in my head, that they have to take turns speaking.



Yup.  And most people don’t realize that the most important piece 0f special equipment is your imagination.


Okay, so this video I found quite interesting.  If you’re too young, you may know who Bugs Bunny is, but you probably don’t know anything about him.  So here is, the Origins of Bugs Bunny.

Pretty cool, right?


God, this is so true it’s horrifying! 


And that, my friends, is, as they say, that.  It is not going to be long before I write to you again. 

Cheers Impish

Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Leprechaun Laughs # 356 for Wednesday Sept 14th 2016


As you enter the Conference Room you see the stage is literally strewn with folders documents and  papers. File boxes stacked off to one side presumably hold yet more paperwork awaiting floor space while handcarts with still more file boxes seem to be tagged with their destination awaiting their turn to be carted off  to what ever their fate is.

Lethal and Friday more down the walk ways left between the piles tablets in hand consulting paperwork and comparing between the two. More clerical staff stand ready to shuffle the papers as directed by the pair. Friday notices you all watching, smiles warmly at you causing the knees of a half dozen males to buckle as a result and gesture towards the seats. She nudges Lethal and points you out to him.

“Huh? What? Can’t be time for them already! I just saw them…oh yeah Saturday….the Special Remembrance Issue.” (Lethal’s voice cracks as he says the words Special Remembrance Issue and he pauses to blow his nose in a bright Orange handkerchief).

“Alright then. You know it amazes me, we missed one issue on Labor Day weekend, the end result of which was I wound up not authoring 2 regular issues (Impish did last Wednesday and the Special Issue), the rate at which things happen in these instances as opposed to other ‘normal’ (normal being an entirely relative term hereabouts) times.

There’s a lot in the issue today to cover as I try to catch up on topics crowding my Inbox as still more pour in. I suggest you grab something to nosh and sip and get to it. Mean time I’ll get back to trying to unbury my desk from this blizzard of paperwork before the next Special Issue comes along.”

Lets Roll 24





Lets start with a photo from our Labor Day End of Summer Bash. Impish was off someplace scheming on how to get to Leprechonia, I had not yet popped in from Leprechonia and so here are Ginny  Diaman and an unknown trying to figure out the workings of one the the grills.






















DL Larder Header

Recipe Warning

Alright all you droolers week kneed and those who never met a calorie you didn’t like start scrolling past right now or proceeded at your own peril, you have been forewarned.       This is an exceptionally dangerous issue for all of you.

Baileys Dark Chocolate Guinness Bread


“Rich and dark chocolate Guinness bread laced with chocolate chips and walnuts then frosted with a sweet Baileys glaze.”

I’ve baked with Guinness before, and though I prefer drinking the beer, it always makes for the perfect combination with chocolate – especially dark chocolate.

Makes: 1loaf | Prep Time: 10minutes | Cook Time: 55minutes



Dark Chocolate Guinness Bread

1 1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. white pepper
1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
1/2 cup walnuts chopped
1/2 cup unsalted butter softened
1/2 cup brown sugar packed
1 egg
1 cup Guinness

Baileys Glaze

1 1/4 cup powdered sugar
2 tbsp. Baileys
2 tsp. half and half cream


For the Dark Chocolate Guinness Bread

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Spray a 9×5 pan with baking spray.

  2. In a large bowl, sift together flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, salt, and white pepper. Set aside.

  3. Using a stand mixer (or hand mixer + large bowl), beat butter and brown sugar until fluffy, about 3 minutes. Scrape the edges of the bowl, then mix in egg. Add beer and mix for 30 seconds, just enough to break apart butter mixture into the beer.

  4. Slowly add dry ingredients in with the wet ingredients, mixing gently in between. When all dry ingredients have been added, mix until just combined, when dry ingredients are no longer visible.

  5. Gently fold in chocolate chips and walnuts, then pour batter into prepared loaf pan.

  6. Bake for 45-55 minutes or until a tester comes out clean with a few moist crumbs.

  7. Let bread cool in the pan for 10 minutes, then remove from pan and transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.

For the Baileys Glaze

  1. In a small bowl, whisk together powdered sugar, Baileys, and cream.

  2. If you’d like the frosting to be thinner, add a small splash of baileys until desired consistency is reached. If you’d like the frosting to be thicker, add 1 tbsp. powdered sugar at a time until frosting is thick enough.

Putting it All Together

  1. Once bread has cooled, drizzle Baileys glaze on top of bread.

  2. Bread can be stored in a sealed container and kept on the counter for up to 5 days.

Don’t worry folks, its not T-storming Texas style outside, the rumble wasn’t distant thunder, nor was  thud a thunder clap, Rather those were (in order) Impish’s gut rumbling and the result of Ginny’s knees failing. The rain sound you hear is Impish rapidly filling the drool barrel I had fastened around his neck before the issue started.

Guinness Leprechaun Army

Triple Chocolate Banana Bread

OK someone start the pump on Impish’s drool barrel please he’s about to go into overdrive on drool production.

I’ll admit I’m being slightly unfair to the blue one. See Impish and I live for banana bread. We’re Banana Bread Snobs, Connoisseurs, Gourmands. We live for the stuff. Exchange ideas. Compare test and contrast every recipe we run across and judge it up against our personal closely guarded ones.

Day old, lightly toasted so its slightly crisped and brown on the outside, yet still soft and warm on the inside with a wee bit of butter melted across it, this might well even surpass a full on Irish breakie for early morning perfection with a nice cuppa. It sure as hell raises afternoon tea to an entirely new level.



This easy banana bread is outrageously chocolaty with three kinds of chocolate that go into the recipe. It’s a perfect twist of the regular banana bread that is for sure to please all the chocolate lovers out there!

Prep time: 10 min | Cook time: 60 min

Total time: 1 hr. 10 min | Serves: 6-8 servings




  • For the Banana Bread
  • 1½ cups flour
  • ½ cup cocoa powder
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • ½ teaspoon baking powder
  • ½ cup melted butter
  • ¼ cup brown sugar
  • ½ cup white sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • 3 medium bananas, mashed
  • ½ cup chocolate chips
  • For the Chocolate Glaze
  • ¼ cup whipping cream
  • 2 tablespoons brown sugar, packed
  • 1 teaspoon butter
  • ½ teaspoon vanilla
  • 6 tablespoons chocolate chips
  • 2-3 tablespoons warm milk
  • 1 teaspoon instant coffee granules


  1. For the Banana Bread
  2. Preheat oven to 175 C/ 350 F degrees.
  3. Line a 9×5 inch loaf pan with parchment paper.
  4. Mix flour, cocoa powder, baking soda and baking powder in a medium bowl. Set aside.
  5. Combine the melted butter and sugars until incorporated. Mix in the eggs and mashed bananas. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients, mix until just combined. Add the chocolate chips and mix until incorporated.
  6. Bake 50-60 minutes.
  7. For The Chocolate Glaze
  8. Heat whipping cream and brown sugar in a small saucepan over medium heat until brown sugar has dissolved and tiny bubbles start to form on the edges. Stir in vanilla and butter until melted and turn off heat. Dissolve the instant coffee granules into the warm milk, and add this mixture to the saucepan. Add chocolate chips but do not stir, and let sit for 1-2 minutes.
  9. Mix the chocolate chips until fully incorporated. Cool completely and drizzle over bread.

Notre Dame

No-Bake Chocolate-Pretzel-Peanut Butter Squares

It’s footballs season again. I know this because after 12 PM on the weekend Molly barely says 2 words to me unless it’s “When are you feeding me? I’m watching 3 games here.”

Unless you’re tailgating before the game at the stadium football requires munchies to watch, it’s an unwritten rule.



Total Time: 1 hr. 17 min
Prep: 16 min
Inactive: 1 hr.
Cook: 1 min
Yield: 10 to 12 servings
Level: Easy



1 1/2 sticks (12 tablespoons) butter, melted
2 cups pretzel rods, crushed into crumbs
1 1/2 cups confectioners’ sugar
1 cup plus 1/4 cup smooth peanut butter
1 1/2 cups milk chocolate chips


In a medium bowl, add the melted butter, pretzel crumbs, confectioners’ sugar and 1 cup of the peanut butter and stir together until well combined. Press the mixture evenly into the bottom of an ungreased 9-by-13-by-2-inch baking dish. Combine the chocolate chips and the remaining 1/4 cup peanut butter in a microwave-safe bowl. Microwave in 30-second intervals, stirring in between, until the chocolate and peanut butter are melted and smooth; two intervals should be enough. Mix to blend, then spread over the peanut butter-pretzel layer.  [Force yourself to] Refrigerate for at least 1 hour before cutting into squares.

You might want to experiment with using Nutella in place of the Chocolate chips. I have not tried this as yet but it certainly seems doable.


Baked Ziti

Finally because man cannot live on baked goods alone (trust me Impish and I both have tried to) here is some actual food. Fast and easy to make with a salad and some garlic bread (popped in the oven when the Ziti comes out to sit) you can feed the whole family or a couch full of football watchers with ease.



Total Time: 1 hr. 45 min
Prep: 30 min
Inactive: 5 min
Cook: 1 hr. 10 min
Yield: 12 servings
Level: Easy





2 tablespoons olive oil
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 large onion, diced
1 pound ground beef
1 pound Italian sausage
Two 14.5-ounce cans tomato sauce or marinara sauce
One 28-ounce can whole tomatoes with juice
2 teaspoons Italian seasoning
1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 pound ziti
1 1/2 pounds mozzarella, grated
One 15-ounce tub whole-milk ricotta
1/2 cup grated Parmesan
2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley, plus more for sprinkling
2 eggs


Heat the olive oil in a pot over medium heat. Add the garlic and onions and sauté until starting to soften, 3 to 4 minutes. Add the ground beef and sausage and cook until browned. Drain off almost all of the fat, leaving a bit behind for flavor and moisture. Add the tomato sauce, tomatoes, Italian seasoning, red pepper flakes and some salt and pepper. Stir, bring to a simmer and simmer for 25 to 30 minutes. Remove 3 to 4 cups of the cooked sauce to a bowl to cool down.

Bring a large pot of water to a boil and add some salt. Cook the ziti until not quite al dente.

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.

In a bowl, mix 2 cups of the grated mozzarella, the ricotta, Parmesan, parsley, eggs and some salt and pepper. Stir together just a couple of times (do not mix completely).

Drain the pasta and rinse under cool water to stop the cooking and cool it down. Pour it into the bowl with the cheese mixture and toss to slightly combine (there should still be large lumps). Add the cooled reserved meat sauce and toss to combine.

Add half the coated pasta to a large casserole dish or lasagna dish. Spoon half of the remaining sauce over the top, then top with half the remaining mozzarella. Repeat with another layer of the coated pasta and the remaining sauce and mozzarella.

Bake until bubbling, about 20 minutes. Let stand 5 minutes before sprinkling with chopped parsley to serve.

Notre Dame 2

Philly Cheesesteak Pizzas

Finally this one straddles the lines between game munchies, lunch and dinner.

It’s 3 of my favorite things when it comes to a meal, Easy, Fast and Tastes good!



Total Time: 25 min
Prep: 15 min
Cook: 10 min
Yield: 4 servings
Level: Easy




3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
1 small onion, halved and thinly sliced
1 Italian frying pepper, thinly sliced
1 clove garlic, minced
1 pound shaved or very thinly sliced beef
1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley
Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper
4 whole-wheat pocketless pitas or prebaked individual-size pizza crusts
2 cups shredded Italian cheese blend, or a mix of shredded mozzarella, provolone and parmesan
1/2 cup pickled sliced sweet or hot cherry peppers


Preheat the broiler. Heat the olive oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add the onion and frying pepper and cook, stirring occasionally, until slightly softened, about 5 minutes. Add the garlic and beef and cook, stirring occasionally, until the beef begins to brown, about 3 minutes. Add the parsley, 3/4 teaspoon salt and 1/2 teaspoon pepper and cook, stirring, 1 more minute.

Meanwhile, line a baking sheet with foil. Place the pitas on the prepared baking sheet and sprinkle each with 1/4 cup cheese. Top evenly with the beef mixture and the remaining 1 cup cheese.

Broil the pizzas until the cheese melts, about 2 minutes. Top with the cherry peppers and cut each pizza into quarters.

Per serving: Calories 590; Fat 33 g (Saturated 13 g); Cholesterol 95 mg; Sodium 1,159 mg; Carbohydrate 32 g; Fiber 5 g; Protein 41 g.

Two tips:

1.) You can make this even faster to make by using jarred fired onions and peppers (I recommend Mancini brand if you can get them). Be sure to drain them well.

To drain I open the jar place a strainer over the top so it sits tight against the jar them invert over a bowl or the sink. I use the bowl if I want to save the now flavored oil for something else (it makes killer oven roasted potatoes or pan fried pork cutlets).

2.) If you cannot find ‘pocketless’ pitas you can get an Indian bread called Naan. Its basically the Indian flat bread version of pitas. Fewer people are familiar with them so the chances of finding them might be higher though you might have to scout the ethnic aisle, store bakery section or bread Aisle to locate them. Naan usually come round though I have seen and purchased rectangular ones.

Pepperidge Farms also makes something called a Deli Flat which comes presplit and each half would work well for making munchie sized version though you might need to keep a close eye on the baking time. Since these come in Whole Wheat and 7 Grain you can console yourself with the thought you’ve provided a semi healthy snack.


That would be what Impish and I looked like if we we dog and cat respectively. Begorrah! I’m still prettier than he is even as a cat!


Despite receiving a thorough examination and clean bill of health last year from Dr. Bardack, speculation about Clinton’s medical fitness has run rampant during the 2016 presidential campaign, with some sources claiming she suffers from seizures, others purporting to spot evidence of brain damage, and still others diagnosing her from afar with Parkinson’s disease. Opposing GOP candidate Donald Trump has played a major role in fomenting such speculation. – http://www.snopes.com/2016/09/11/hillary-clinton-medical-episode/

Lord knows during an election year the number one pass time of political pundits, reporters, conspiracy theorists and the population at large is speculation. Some of these speculations gain traction and morph from speculation into urban legend seemingly over night.

To wit: Many of you have sent me the following:


Sorry to bring the light or reason into your rampant speculation party but I’m throwing the flag again.

Ref with BS Flag

Shaky Diagnosis

A montage of photos and video clips of Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton purportedly demonstrates she has symptoms of Parkinson’s disease.


The entire article is quite lengthy and this issue looks to be a long one so I’ll not post it all here. Follow the link if you want to read why its all Grade A Heifer Dust. Besides, I haven’t given you my theory/take on the situation as yet (which IMHO is far easier to swallow, more plausible and probably closer to the truth.

See I think Hillary’s problem at Ground Zero was related to the fact that it was Ground Zero, which is now hallowed ground.

She simply could not stand being on hallowed ground consecrated by the blood of American lives which was brought about by liberal touchy-feelie/politically correct “love-everyone-invite-them-in-make-your-enemies-your-friends” policies.

I suspect if you took her to the US Diplomatic in Bengasi the site of a massacre of  2 US Diplomats or the site a scant few miles away where 10 CIA officers died and made her stand there for any length of time she’d probably be consumed in a pillar of holy fire.

AS DL/LL Enterprises resident Dr. of Quackery and all around Charlatan that’s my arm chair diagnosis and I’m sticking to it.


Some of you may recall that I had a commemorative marker installed in front of the pavilion on the picnic grounds back in 2014 to mark the occurrence an historical event. Here it is here:


Well after due deliberation, consultation with my opponent Impish, as well as a ruling by the judges, there will now be a second one placed beside it marking he occasion of Impish’s almost win against me in trying to get to Leprechonia. I felt since it was the closest he’s ever come to beating me (except for that one time I was unconscious thanks to drinking with Bacchus and Impish got away with locking me in the middens for 5 days) the feat was worth memorializing. So here is what the new marker will look like and say:






That’s likely the ONLY time you’ll ever see a woman happy about being told she’s fat!


Gene Wilder’s Best Moments on Film


Mel Brooks Misses Being Able to Call Gene Wilder


While we’re on the subject of missing people-





I strongly suspect the Ninja Kitty Clan of arranging this crash.


At least they are still hard at work!


Ah ha. I se Brutus has an apprentice now. Meet Snuggles the Souleater.


Well THAT explains a few things. Impish tired telling me he landed in a cactus patch after trying to pet a porcupine he’d accidentally rubbed the wrong way.


All I can say is it’s a good thing he wasn’t slow dancing with the owner of that bra!



On Black Athletes Refusing to Stand For the National Anthem

Let’s start off with a little background on the inciter of this debacle of Civil Protest, San Francisco 49er’s quarterback Colin Kaepernic. We all know whet he did and his alleged reasoning for doing it. However as much as his statement covers it seems there were other personal reasons that he kept silent on:

The Real Story On Why An NFL Quarterback Refused To Stand For The National Anthem

San Francisco 49er’s quarterback Colin Kaepernick, pictured above has a new ‘protest’…refusing to stand for America’s national anthem:

“I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color.”
“To me, this is bigger than football and it would be selfish on my part to look the other way. There are bodies in the street and people getting paid leave and getting away with murder.”

The 49er’s, of course, came out with an incredibly PC response to this:

“The national anthem is and always will be a special part of the pre-game ceremony. It is an opportunity to honor our country and reflect on the great liberties we are afforded as its citizens. In respecting such American principles as freedom of religion and freedom of expression, we recognize the right of an individual to choose and participate, or not, in our celebration of the national anthem.”

Now, the fact that ‘people of color’ have more rights under the law, more freedom and more economic opportunities in America than almost any other country on earth is something I suppose we can just ignore…Colin Kaepernick obviously has!

And I’m sure Colin Kaepernick’s adoptive family of Typical White People might not want to weigh in on this either.

But there’s a little more to the story that the media and the NFL will avoid at all costs, because it explains the real reason Mr.Kaepernick has suddenly come out with the idea of inflicting his agenda publicly on the fans. And the media and the NFL have no intention of it coming out if they can help it.

As the French wisely say, Cherchez la femme, look for the woman.

nessa 2In this case, the woman is hip-hop radio personality DJ Nessa Diab.She’s a Berkeley grad, a very dogmatic outspoken Black Lives Matter advocate and a Muslim. She and Colin Kaepernick are engaged, and Kaepernick converted to Islam during the off season.
The two are reportedly planning what Kaepernick calls ‘a traditional Muslim wedding.’
Pretty simple…boy meets radical girl, they find they have interests and ideology in common…except,it’s haram, forbidden for a Muslima (a Muslim girl) to marry a non-believer.

[Funny, she certainly doesn’t dress anything like a devout radical Muslim woman!- L.L.]

This is not to say that Kaepernick wasn’t pretty far along the radical path anyway.

It’s a real love story…not only do they love the same things, but they can hate the same people too. There are certainly a fair amount of patriotic American Muslims, but many Muslims here follow the Qu’ran which says their first loyalty aside from Allah is to the umma, the worldwide Muslim polity. And no one with much common sense would call the folks at Black Lives Matter remotely patriotic. So it all fits together pretty well.

Another part of the back story is that both Kaepernick and Nessa Diab have been agitating the 49er’s to trade Kaepernick to New York, where Diab is based. Ideology aside, this might be Kaepernick’s way of adding some fuel to the fire.

The 49er’s have obviously made a business decision to keep Kaepernick on their roster and, with the collusion of the media, to keep this part of the story covered up. That’s fine, but it is a business decision. And although I have to admit that if I felt that way about America I’d vote with my principles and leave, Colin Kaepernick also certainly has the right not to honor the flag of the country that has treated him so well.

But football fans can also make a decision…like boycotting the 49er’s and any subsequent team they might trade Kaepernick to until he’s history.
Now, that’s freedom too, isn’t it? Based on the 49er’s puerile statement, I’m sure they’d agree.

There are very few countries where Colin Kaepernick and his Muslima bride to be would be so blessed to earn a living and live in the lifestyle to which they are accustomed courtesy of the Red, White & Blue and while it is their right thanks to this great nation and those who fight to keep America the land of the free, one can only hope that some force out of their control will someday humble these ungrateful elitist fools.

Forgive me. I’m merely exercising my right to call them by that which they are.

Colin Kaepernick and the rest of his Klan pushing Black Lives Matter meme have no interest in making a difference. It’s all about them. Most rappers and Black professional sports players have no interest in reaching out to young men Black in urban America.
Of course, they’ll do a little something but again, it’s to soothe their ego.
I also suspect that Kaepernick has an ulterior motive like throwing the race card out there should he find himself cut from the team.

Timing as they say is everything.

A raised fist, more kneeling players as NFL anthem protest spreads

As is so often the case with a liberal making a personal protest statement Kapernick’s more self interest serving as opposed to political statement protest has garnered imitators demonstrating their ignorance of the true issues and problems in true monkey see- monkey do fashion.

Kansas City Chiefs cornerback Marcus Peters raised his fist and several Miami Dolphins players knelt during performances of the U.S. national anthem on Sunday, the latest gestures in the National Football League to draw attention to racial inequality.

The gesture on Sunday by Peters, 23, who is African-American, recalled the raised fist demonstration by black athletes Tommie Smith and John Carlos during their medal ceremony at the 1968 Olympic Games in Mexico City.

The other Chiefs players they decided to lock arms as a sign of solidarity after discussing the issue as a group.

“It was our goal to be unified as a team and to be respectful of everyone’s opinions, and the remembrance of 9/11,” the team said in a statement. “It’s our job as professional athletes to make a positive impact on our communities and to be proactive when change is needed.”

Seattle wide receiver Doug Baldwin, in a video he posted online announcing his team’s decision to link arms, said, “Progress can and will be made only if we stand together.”

Sunday’s games fell on the 15th anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks on the United States and many NFL teams commemorated the tragedy with special ceremonies.

Four Miami Dolphins players – Arian Foster, Jelani Jenkins, Michael Thomas, and Kenny Stills – knelt while the national anthem was played at their season opener against the Seahawks. On the other side of the field, the Seahawks locked arms while standing during the song.

Photos published online by Sports Illustrated showed Tennessee Titans players Jurrell Casey, Wesley Woodyard and Jason McCourty raising their fists ahead of their game against the Minnesota Vikings as well. It was not not clear whether the images were taken before, during or after the anthem however.

In Thursday’s NFL season opener, Denver Broncos linebacker Brandon Marshall had knelt during the anthem.

The protesting players have been seen as allies of the Black Lives Matter movement, which grew in response to a string of high-profile police killings of unarmed black people across the country. About two-thirds of NFL players are black.

The protests also have provoked anger in some fans who see the gesture as disrespecting the U.S. flag, the military and the nation in general.

Seriously I don’t see where this behavior comes as much of a shock, we have been fighting for the rights of the Blacks and oppressed since the Civil War and given them more opportunities and many white people get. Indeed some of the ‘equality’ programs and initiatives were technically discriminatory against whites. Black created for Blacks only Originations (I.e. the NAACP) are given a pass by the Federal Government on prosecution for Violating Federal Anti Discrimination Laws. Despite this all we ever get back is Ungratefulness, Racial Hatred, ‘Blackatutide’ and demands for more Entitlements so they don’t have to use all the mechanisms that we put in place to give them preferential treatment in the 60s, 70s and 80s by liberals.

In short they’re not interested in a hand up only in a hand out and protesting if they are expected to conform the the standards of the rest of society, especially with regards to law and order.

Taking a Stand by Refusing to Stand

Now this ‘it’s-all-about-me-doing-whatever-I-want-and-don’t-try-holding-me-accountable-for-my-action-either’ Black Lives Matter Blackatitude Bullshit and its wonton display of disrespect for America is spilling over onto the kids that these people are supposed to be providing a good example for and like good little indoctrinated liberal lemmings they’re drinking the Kool-Aid and following blindly right behind their self serving poster boy.

The debate over whether athletes should stand during the national anthem may have been kicked off this fall in the National Football League, but it has spread to the college ranks.

On Wednesday, three West Virginia University Institute of Technology volleyball players fell to their knees during the playing of the national anthem before a game. The players, all of whom are black women, said they were kneeling in solidarity with Colin Kaepernick, the NFL quarterback who set off a national debate for refusing to stand during the national anthem in protest of racial oppression and police brutality.

On Saturday, one football player from Indiana State University and one from the University of Tulsa knelt during the national anthem at games their teams were playing.

And on Friday, word spread that the chancellor of the University of Texas System (which has not seen instances of players not standing for the anthem) had distributed a memo urging — but not requiring — all athletes to stand and face the flag, with hands over their hearts, during the playing of the anthem.

The debate over the national anthem and athletes is part of a broader discussion of the appropriate role of college athletes in speaking out about political and social issues.

Athletes, Race and Protest

In the case of the college athletes who are not standing for the national anthem, all who have been identified are black, and the cause they are embracing is the fight against racism in American society. When black athletes — for example in the 1968 Olympics — have used their visibility to promote the fight against racism, they have been praised by many but also criticized by many, and faced ugly racist attacks in some circles.

The Protests and the Responses

Since Kaepernick started his protest, players’ decisions with regard to the anthem have received unusual scrutiny. A week ago, Bowling Green State University said that football players who appeared to be on their knees during the national anthem before a game against Ohio State University were actually praying.

The first confirmed case of college athletes declining to stand during the anthem was Wednesday’s women’s volleyball game at West Virginia University Institute of Technology. The students there said they wanted to support Kaepernick’s protest.

“He’s exercising his right to choose to sit or stand, so you have to recognize that he’s got that right,” Keyonna Morrow, one of the players and vice president of WVU Tech’s Black Student Union, told a local news station.

WVU Tech released this statement about the action by the students: “As an institution of higher learning, we encourage the free exchange of ideas among all our students, faculty and staff. We value everyone’s right to free speech. Even though there were differences of opinion among those in attendance at Wednesday’s volleyball game, our students were respectful of one other and their opinions. We are proud that our students can have civil conversations about difficult issues and concerns. They are a positive example of how we can hold different views and opinions while still engaging in constructive dialogue to gain new perspectives and understanding. The university will protect the rights of freedom of speech, expression, petition and peaceful assembly as set forth in the U.S. Constitution.”


While the Constitution does guarantee Freedom of Speech it unfortunately stops short of pointing out that with that right comes responsibility. The responsibility to weigh the appropriateness of venue and the timing of your exercising that right. Additionally that right is solely to Free Speech not one to Freely Disrespect as there protestors would have us believe.

In the USA Movie Stars, Athletes and others Notables are looked up to as icons and examples of what children and young adults should aspire to be. At least they were when I was growing up. Sure you had a few occasional bad apples (i.e. Pete Rose), but even those provided a teachable moment as and adult pointed out that while they had broken the faith and temporarily profited from it they were eventually caught and punished to the point the punishment far outweighed any profit they had gotten by going bad.

However in the last 10 to 20 years more and more of these heroes have morphed into zeroes. Sadly the fact that the values and behavior these people espouse is not something to be emulated is completely lost on the majority of the younger generations.

How sad it is that the biggest and best examples of the old school sports heroes/icons belongs to a sport that is has had to historically had to defend that label as being appropriate for it? I’m talking about Professional Wrestling,  John Cenna and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.

Are there bad cops out there whom misuse their authority? Of a certainty. Every barrel has at least one bad apple and let’s be perfectly clear I’m quite sure there are just as many Black, Hispanic and Asian bad apples as there are White. Are the majority of police officers bad? No certainly not. Do Police officers tend to profile, pull up to a scene with preconceived notions and over all tend to act more aggressively when Blacks are involved as opposed to whites? Possibly, hell in certain areas of the country I’d even up that to probably.

However as Impish remarked to me the other day while we were discussing this:

“When you have 27% of the population committing 78% of the violent crime how is it not possible for there to be some level of  justified profiling going on?”

I would remind you that by and large its that same 27% that will do anything up to and including murdering police officers to avoid being held responsible for their actions.

Until the remainder of the Black Community wakes up to the fact that;

1.) ALL Lives Matter, not just Black lives (which considering the number of black on black violent crimes is apparently something that seriously escapes them) INCLUDING Police Officer’s Lives.

2.) Behavior such as Black Lives Matter protests and this kneeling during the National Anthem then hiding your true reasoning behind a façade of bullshit ceases has to end. IT’s not working to help alleviate the problem in fact, its making it worse, though this is hardly surprising when you consider it originated  from within the core problem group, that violence prone 27% who objected to not being able to get away with violence against police officers any longer.

3.) Despite all their unhappiness with the status quo all they need to do it take a good hard look at a few other countries and  just exactly how good and how restrained the majority of our Police are. I can tell you from first hand experience and observation that the Police Forces of Countries like Ireland, Denmark, Spain, Greece, Uruguay and South Korea would not put up with one quarter the bullshit out of these clowns that America Police do. The Police forces of Ireland, Denmark and Uruguay all carry machine guns. Machine guns not pistols, granted they are chambers from the 9mm pistol round as opposed to any caliber rifle round but its is still a machine gun that is strapped to the chest in the low ready position not slung over their shoulder which would the the rough equivalent of American Police with holstered pistol.

4.) That they need start educating their young that the behavior and actions of that violence prone 27% is not acceptable and that behaviors have consequences, preferably by pressuring the black community’s heroes and icons, such as Rappers who routinely glorify violence and the killing of Police in their lyric to change their behavior and message.

this situation will continue to be self perpetuating and hurt the Black community far far worse than it impacts any other.

“Teach Your Children”

You, who are on the road must have a code that you can live by.
And so become yourself because the past is just a good bye.
Teach your children well, their father’s hell did slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams, the one they pick’s the one you’ll know by.
Don’t you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.

And you, of tender years can’t know the fears that your elders grew by,
And so please help them with your youth, they seek the truth before they can die.
Teach your parents well, their children’s hell will slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams, the one they pick’s the one you’ll know by.
Don’t you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.



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DL/LL Digital Media Enterprises for Saturday Sept 10th 2016 Patriot’s Day /September 11th 15th Anniversary Issue


As you arrive and begin heading for the conference room where Lethal prefers to launch his issues from you are confronted by signs and CyberLethals directing you to buses which take you to the campground Impish uses. The trail from the parking lot to the picnic area is lined with large 4 x 8 foot stone tablets engraved with names, affiliations and locations.

Remembrance candles burn in front of each one. While you are reminded of the traveling Viet Nam Veteran’s Memorial its plain this Memorial is for the September 11th Tragedy todays issue is expected to commemorate.

Lethal stands patiently at the podium holding a low conversation with Paul K9 as you file in.  It is the first time you’ve really had the opportunity to see him since his return. While he’s picked up some color, his red rimmed eyes,  the haunted look behind those eyes and red sore looking runny nose make you think he might be unwell. Paul’s eyes and nose seem to be twins Lethal’s as well so perhaps it’s not them but the subject matter of their discussion that troubles them so on this day.

The flaps to the tents where coffee and goodies are usually served are firmly closed and signs proclaim that there will be no service until after the issue as this is a solemn occasion.

Once you are all seated he clears his throat and begins:

Ladies and Gentleman of the  readership thank you for coming for this unhumorous most serious of issues for the year. Allow me to start off with a historical quotation that has much bearing on this day and the situation we discuss here.

“Mr. Vice President, Mr. Speaker, Members of the Senate, and of the House of Representatives:

Yesterday, December 7th, 1941 — a date which will live in infamy — the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked…..” – FDR 12/08/1941

59 years, 9 months, 4 days and 51 minutes from the attack on Pearl Harbor history repeated itself. At 8:46 am on September 1tth 2001 Mohammed Atta and the other hijackers aboard American Airlines Flight 11 crash the plane into floors 93-99 of the North Tower of the World Trade Center, killing everyone on board and hundreds inside the building and beginning a nightmare the likes of which the US had not seen or experiences since December 7th 1941.

As a result September 11th 2001 is another date which will live in infamy.

A day when not only some 2977 people lost their lives (yes my number is different from the official tally by exactly 19- the number of terrorists involved whom I refuse to dishonor the victims by counting among them) and still more continue to lose their lives from the aftermath effects (2620 as of Sept 9th 2015 according the the Victims Compensation Fund, mostly cancer patients from Police, Fire, EMS and other First responders) but a day when all of America had something precious stolen from them in a cowardly and dastardly manner. I’m speaking of their right to feel reasonably safe and secure in their lives. Something many of our ancestors fought and died for not only in the American Revolution but every wars since.

The events of September 11, 2001 are forever etched into the hearts and souls of the family members and loved ones of those who died, our nation, and the world. The United States experienced the worst incident of terrorism in its history; the coordinated hijacking of four commercial planes, the planned attack on symbolic targets, and the murder of innocent people were all tragic and shocking events. The extraordinary responses of individuals to the challenges they faced are inspiring and worthy of remembrance.

    “That we we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain – that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom – and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.” -Abraham Lincoln

So too is my resolve. So too should it be the resolve of every American. Not just once a year, but everyday. Every time you see or hear of a Muslim protest against the US , hear the words ‘Allahu akbar’, see or hear of a Muslim in the US demanding that we cater to his religion and/or Sharia Law. Every time see a woman forced to wear the Hijab, despite not being Muslim or read of the oppression of women in general by the hypocritical ‘Religion of Peace’.

Sadly as time passes, fewer and fewer who are non directly linked can be bothered remember or even care. Lessons learned are forgotten, history repeats itself and we are lessened as a Nation for and by it.

Every year this issue is probably the most serious and intense posting I author. In truth I dread it each time it comes around. It is surely the most depressing and painful issue I research and assemble each year, as well as the nearest and most dear to my closely warded and guarded heart.

In truth this issue took me almost 14 days of working on on and off because I just not stand to deal with the subject for any great length of time even now 15 years later without a wellspring of deeply buried emotions surging up and over taking me. These opening remarks, their skeleton largely taken from previous  Sept 11th issues, by themselves took me 3 days to assemble and flesh out. The Banner changed 3 times in the course of putting the Issue together and every time I thought I was finished, something else came or was brought to my attention that demanded inclusion in this issue.

Despite all this, as long as Impish and I have this blog, I will continue to to observe this day and author this issue because if I stop I fear some might forget or think that Sept 11th no longer mattered. I assure you it mattered on September 11th 2001, it continues matter now on September 11th 2016 and will still matter still just as much on September 11th 2101 the 100th Anniversary of the attacks.

A few of you long time readers that have been with us since the Yahoogroups days might remember why September 11th is so personal to me. For the rest of you undoubtedly this will be a new insight into the Leprechaun and his murky pasts. I shared this revelation once before on the 10th Anniversary. I think it proper and just that it be recounted again here on the 15th.

The reason this is so personal to me is not only because I am numbered among the twenty percent of Americans who knew a victim of the Sept 11th attacks (in fact I knew victims in two locations), but because additionally except for the grace of God and an act of kindness to those taking me to the airport on my part in the form of taking a later flight than the one I preferred, I might well have been one of the victims myself.

On the morning September 11, 2001, I was scheduled to fly out of Bradley Field in Windsor Locks, Connecticut at 10:30. My flight path would have taken me through the NYC air corridor along the exact same flight path in route to my final destination of Houston.

I did in fact fly 4 days later through that same air corridor, accompanied by a fully laden F-15 attack fighter escorting us from the ‘kill position’ above and behind us in formation so close that his shadow covered most of the right side of the cabin from tail to right wing and half that wing too.

The smoke plum from the still smoldering ruins of the World Trade center could be clearly seen roughly five miles off our right wing and towered even higher than we were flying at that time. Soot, ash, fine particulate debris was so heavy and thick in the air that even at our roughly twenty thousand foot altitude. we could clearly see it passing the windows as we flew like some grey fog made of black pepper.

Our passage thru NYC was accomplished in silence as the Captain requested we observe such out of respect for the dead until the plum was gone from view. In truth I think we were all speechless at the first person viewing of something we had been removed from to a semi comfortable distance by television.

This issue however is not about me or my recollections of either day. It is about seeing that this day, This tragedy, its victims and their families are never forgotten. That this terrorist act is never forgotten or forgiven until the terrorist group(s) responsible are eradicated, radical fundamentalist Islam is ground out of existence and the last full measure of justice, revenge and retribution has been had. It’s about calling BULLSHIT! On those who would allow a Ground Zero Mosque and/or make concessions to Islamic traditions and religious customs in the US.

“Lethal! That sounds a bit bitter, angry and bloodthirsty!’ you say? YOU’RE TOO BLOODY DAMNED RIGHT! 15 years later and my thirst of vengeance and justice remains unslaked. What is being done to America both in the attempted Islamicization of it and to down play September 11th and its memory, as well as Islam’s role in it is enough to piss off the Buddha himself and make him reach for a weapon while cussing a blue streak profane and long enough to make a Marine Drill Sergeant shed a tear of pride. It leaves me sick and ashamed, feeling like I should offer apologies to the 5600 direct and indirect dead of that day.

I will never be satisfied until all of Islam either quakes at the sight of an American citizen. Trembling in fear that he might sub a toe on their cobblestones thus possibly provoking our retaliation for harming one of our citizens. or until all Muslims rise up against Fundamentalist Extremist, eliminate them and drag Islam as well as the entire Middle East kicking and screaming out of the 6th Century and into the modern era. THEN and ONLY THEN might I find myself satisfied.

When I first started this blog I used to end my opening remarks with some variation on theme “Let’s Laugh” just like Impish. Since the 10th Anniversary Issue I have used a different closing to my comments.

Please join me in honoring one of the heroes of Sept 11th, Todd Beamer of United Airlines Flight 93 as I open this issue with his final words before he and several others attempted to take control of the plane away from the terrorist or at least prevent them from achieving their mission by crashing it…



This Is How The World Is Remembering 9/11

Events include minutes of silence, services and music

Sunday marks the fifteenth anniversary of 9/11, and places in the United Sates and around the world are planning tributes to the victims of the terror attacks that claimed nearly 3,000 lives.

Here’s a sampling of some of the memorial events planned for the next week.

Joe Biden at an NFL game

U.S. Vice President Joe Biden will participate in a first responders tribute before the Philadelphia Eagles game on opening weekend of the NFL season, the LA Times reports. Biden will participate in a ceremony before the game and stand with 120 police officers, firefighters and emergency responders during the national anthem. (The Baltimore Ravens are also planning a tribute before their game, which includes a live bald eagle landing on the field.)

Staten Island Twin Towers art piece

A Staten Island artist recreated the Twin Towers out of thousands of lights strung together. The installation, called “3,000 raindrops” in reference to the lives lost in the attacks, debuted on Thursday and will be kept up until September 25, SILive.com reports.

UK firefighters moment of silence

Firefighters in the United Kingdom will observe a moment of silence at the time the first plane hit one of the Twin Towers, the Daily Mail reports. Other offices and some radio and television networks are also expected to fall silent.

British government leaders and about 2,000 people will also attend a memorial service at St. Paul’s Cathedral in London on Wednesday.

New York Stock Exchange moment of silence

The New York Stock exchange also held a moment of silence Friday morning to remember the victims of the attack.

Bagpipe memorial song

Bagpipers from the New York City fire department and The Red Hot Chili Pipers, a Scottish bagpipe band, have come together to record a 9/11 tribute song called “The Fallen,” the New York Daily News reports. All proceeds from the song will go to the Scottish Fire and Rescue Family Support Trust and The FDNY Pipes and Drums.

9/11 Memorial Museum ‘Tribute in Light’

The 9/11 memorial will once again run its “Tribute in Light,” 88 searchlights that shine as a representation of the Twin Towers, NY1 reports. The tribute has gone up every year since 2002.


National anthem at Yankee Stadium on Sept. 11

9/11/14: The Yankees and Rays rise for a special military national anthem as a tribute to those who lost their lives on Sept. 11, 2001



Smithsonian hosts special exhibit for 15th anniversary of Sept. 11 attacks

WASHINGTON — This coming Sunday will be the 15th anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks, one of the darkest days in U.S. history.

The Smithsonian National Museum of American History will host a special one-day exhibit from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. Sunday, Sept. 11,  to commemorate the anniversary of the terrorist attacks.

The National Museum of American History is known for showcasing national treasures, but it also showcases artifacts from somber events like Sept. 11. The Smithsonian’s Melina Machado said the museum will display more than 35 artifacts from the three terrorist attack sites: the World Trade Center; the Pentagon; and in Shanksville, Pennsylvania, where United Airlines flight 93 crashed.

“The National Museum of American History was designated by congress as the official repository for the objects of September 11,” Machado said.

She said the artifacts will be displayed on tables and not behind glass so visitors can get an up-close look. Visitors will not be able to touch the items.

Machado said curators and museum staff will be on-hand to tell the stories of the artifacts, which include a clock from the Pentagon that stopped the moment the plane slammed into the Pentagon.

Other artifacts include airplane fragments, objects recovered from Pentagon offices, lights from a crushed New York City fire truck and a flight attendant’s handbook from United Airlines Flight 93.

Machado said the country has a new generation of Americans who were either too young to remember the Sept. 11 attacks or who weren’t even born yet.

“We think it’s very important that these objects survive to bear witness to the stories of [Sept. 11],” she said.

The Smithsonian Channel’s documentary, “9/11: Stories in Fragments,” will be shown hourly on Sunday in the Warner Bros. Theater. The film is based on the museum’s Sept. 11 collection. Also, the last existing search and rescue robot that was used in the Sept. 11 attacks is being donated to the museum by its inventor Dr. Robin Murphy from Texas A&M University on Sunday.

See some examples of items in the exhibit here:




Chef Who Began Cooking for Firefighters After 9/11 Cries Over Surprise Cookbook

When Rob Scandia lost a dear in the horrific attacks on September 11th, he set out with one goal in mind: to serve every firefighter in the state of Florida. To honor his friend, he has been serving up meals in firehouses, all the while, jotting down his recipes. He hoped to one day publish them in a cookbook but never found the time. After his firefighter friends got word of his mission, they did it on their own and surprised him with a new copy of the book.



Alan Jackson – Where Were You When The World Stopped Turning


Rescuers who responded to Pentagon on 9/11 return 15 years later


ARLINGTON, Va. — The nation will soon mark the 15th anniversary of one of the darkest days in its history — Sept. 11, 2001. But on Saturday, a group of firefighters returned to the Pentagon, where they responded after a plane slammed into the building and killed 184 people 15 years ago.

Inside the building, 125 people died, and 59 others onboard American Airlines Flight 77 died. Those numbers do not include the terrorists.

“What these [firefighters] did here is beyond heroic,” Alexandria Fire Chief Robert Dubé said Saturday.

Even 15 years later, what happened here is seared into the memories of these men and women.

“It’s hard looking at [the Pentagon] now,” Dubé said. “All I see is what I saw that week.”

It took 10 years for Dubé to return to the Pentagon, and that was for the 10th anniversary of 9/11.

“I just couldn’t come back. I don’t know why … . I just didn’t want to see it. I didn’t want to do it — bring that up in my head again,” he said. “It’s hard. It’s hard to know what was there and to think about that now.”

His firefighters and volunteers — those who were part of the Pentagon response — gathered for a 15-year anniversary photo Saturday morning. They took the photo because it is important to “never forget” and to honor those who died, Dubé said. He wants the younger members and future members to know the big part the department played that day.


This year is the fire department’s 150th anniversary. Dubé said 9/11 is ingrained in its history, and time was running to document those in the department who were part of the Pentagon response. Over the years, people have retired and moved on.

During the 9/11 Pentagon response, Dubé was not with the Alexandria Fire Department — he was a captain with the Fairfax County Fire Department and part of the Virginia Task Force 1, an international urban search and rescue team.

“We were deployed [to the Pentagon] immediately, and we worked here eight to nine days,” he said.

As more and more time passes, Dubé said, people do not remember what happened here.

“It’s tough to wrap your head around what we did here if you weren’t here,” he said.

Battalion Chief David Bogozi with the Alexandria Fire Department said it was important for the group to get together to remember what they did.

“Not that any of us forgot,” he said. “I’ll never forget.”

As firefighters, Bogozi said, they had seen death and destruction before, but “the things we saw [in the Pentagon attack] were things we never ever expected to see.”

Bogozi said he prays that nothing like this ever happens again.

“I hate to say it, but at some point in all the new people’s careers … they’re probably going to face something like this again,” he said. “I pray to God it doesn’t happen.”




Explore web-based interactive timelines chronicling the events of the 1993 World Trade Center bombing, September 11, 2001 and the nine-month recovery effort at ground zero. The timelines use images, audio and video as well as first-person accounts that are part of the National September 11 Memorial & Museum’s permanent collection.

Please note: The timelines contain some graphic images and sensitive content due to the nature of the events related to the WTC bombing, 9/11 attacks and the aftermath.

9/11 Interactive Timelines

September 11 Attack Timeline 

On September 11, 2001, nineteen terrorists who were members of al-Qaeda, an Islamist extremist network, hijacked four commercial airplanes. In a coordinated attack, the hijackers intentionally flew two of the planes into the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center, and a third into the Pentagon. Learning about the other hijackings, passengers and crew members on the fourth plane launched a counterattack, spurring the hijacker pilot to crash the plane into a field in Pennsylvania. Nearly 3,000 people were killed on that day, the single largest loss of life resulting from a foreign attack on American soil.

Recovery at Ground Zero Timeline

Within hours of the September 11, 2001 attacks, millions of people across the world felt compelled to respond to the crisis. Volunteers and trained professionals from near and far rushed to help in the rescue and recovery efforts at the World Trade Center, Pentagon, and Flight 93 sites.

1993 WTC Bombing Timeline

On February 26, 1993, terrorists placed a bomb in the garage beneath the World Trade Center. The explosion killed six people and injured more than 1,000 others. This timeline tells the story of the bombing plot, its effects on the World Trade Center, and the campaign to bring the perpetrators to justice.

These interactive timelines feature objects, images, video, and first-hand accounts from people who witnessed the events unfold.



On Board Air Force One September 11, 2001, as events unfold

On Board, The Worlds Most Powerful Aircraft, Air Force One, as events unfold on September 11th, 2001, a shocking test of the security services’ ultimate nightmare scenario. On that day Air Force One became a fortress in the sky as America was forced into the War on Terror.

[Pertinent portion begins at 2:57 and continues till 13:25]


Tribute in Light is an art installation that is produced annually in New York on the anniversary of the September 11, 2001 attacks. Tribute in Light illuminates the New York City sky just south of the Memorial site.





9/11 Memorial and Museum

Interactive Museum Experience

Explore the 9/11 Memorial Museum through this interactive video experience selecting different paths through the Museum’s vast spaces and exhibitions. Press the stop button to skip through sections of the Museum.



9/11 15th Anniversary TV Programming


As incredible as it may seem, this year marks the 15th anniversary of the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, that forever changed America and the world. The 9/11 15th anniversary will undoubtedly be marked in a number of ways, including with TV specials and documentaries that range from a look at the attacks on the Pentagon, to a chronicle of the triumphant rise of Freedom Tower on the site of the New York attack.

Each year there are always notable TV programs that remember that tragic day, but given that this is the 9/11 15th anniversary, there is a particular increase in documentaries and other programming. Here are some of the highlights airing in the days and weeks leading up to Sept. 11, 2016 (the list will be updated as we hear more).

9/11 15th Anniversary TV Programming (All Times Eastern) (Updated 9/2/16 10:15am CT)

Ground Zero Rising: Freedom vs. Fear — Sept. 1 at 10pm on CNBC. CNBC anchor Jim Cramer reports in this one-hour documentary that tells the story of the revitalization of the 16-acre site of the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center, which has emerged as a place reborn. Taking more than six years and nearly $4 billion to complete, One World Trade Center is the most expensive skyscraper in the world, and stands as proof of American tenacity and resilience.

15 Septembers Later — Sept. 5 at 9pm on History. This new special leads History’s week of 9/11 commemorative programming, which also includes two other original primetime documentaries and a series of digital shorts. This program examines 9/11 through the lens of stories and information uncovered over the last 15 years, offering a new perspective on the historic events of that day. The program features recently declassified materials and new interviews with a number of individuals who played key roles in the events of that day, some telling their stories for the first time. John Lehman, a former member of the 9/11 Commission, speaks to the 28 pages from the 9/11 report which were only declassified this summer that allege that some of the “hijackers were in contact with and received support or assistance from individuals connected with the Saudi government.” Major Heather Penney, the F-16 pilot who was assigned the impossible task of intercepting United Airlines Flight 93, recounts her story for the first time. We hear from Ben Sliney, who on his first day as the new FAA National Operations Manager made the decision to clear American airspace and led the effort to land every non-military plane over the U.S.  Also interviewed is White House photographer Eric Draper whose recently declassified photos capturing the White House response to the attack are featured. 15 Septembers Later also includes a new, rare interview with President George W. Bush, as well as new interviews with former New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani, former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, Vice President Dick Cheney, Andrew Card, Leon Panetta, Senator Chuck Schumer, former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, Governor George Pataki, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, and other government officials, journalists and eyewitnesses.


9/11 Inside the Pentagon — Sept. 6 at 8pm on PBS (check local listings). This hour long documentary reveals new, firsthand accounts of the attack that took place at the heart of the United States’ military headquarters, during which nearly 200 people from inside the building and onboard American Airlines Flight 77 perished.

9/11: As We Watched — Sept. 6 at 10pm on American Heroes Channel. Produced with ABC News, this special recounts Sept. 11, 2001, through the eyes of that news organization, as the late, legendary Peter Jennings, along with Diane Sawyer, George Stephanopoulos and dozens of journalists rushed to the scene of the chaos and embarked upon what would be 83 hours of live coverage.

Capturing Bin Laden — Sept. 7 at 10pm on American Heroes Channel. This documentary tracks the rise and fall of the man who spent the decade following the 9/11 attacks at the top of America’s Most Wanted list. Drawing on extensive archives from ABC News’ in-depth and award-winning reporting on the emergence of Osama bin Laden, this all-new special chronicles his rise—from a shadowy figure financing international terrorist attacks, to the intelligence that identified him as the 9/11 mastermind—and fall, culminating with SEAL Team Six’s heroic and harrowing confrontation with at a safe-house in Pakistan that ended the 10 year cat-and mouse game to capture the world’s most deadly terrorist.

FOX News Channel 9/11 15th Anniversary coverage — Sept. 11 beginning at 6am on FOX News Channel. FNC will present special live programming to commemorate the 15-year anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks, beginning with FOX and Friends Sunday and continuing through primetime. Hosted by weekday co-hosts Steve Doocy, Ainsley Earhardt and Brian Kilmeade, FOX and Friends Sunday (6-10am) will present the yearly “Flashback 9/11: As It Happened” package, as well as take the moment of silence at 8:46am, marking the time when the first plane hit. At 10am, anchor Jon Scott will present a two-hour special entitled 9/11: 15 Years Later to reflect on the changes and challenges Americans have faced since that tragic day over a decade ago. FNC’s Maria Bartiromo will anchor a live hour of Sunday Morning Futures at 12pm, followed by America’s Election Headquarters at 1pm, anchored by Shannon Bream & Leland Vittert. At 2pm, Chris Wallace will anchor FOX News Sunday, followed by another edition of America’s Election Headquarters anchored by Eric Shawn and Arthel Neville from 3-5pm and 6pm. At 5pm, FNC will present a special hour of MediaBuzz, hosted by Howard Kurtz, followed by FOX Report Sunday, anchored by Harris Faulkner, at 7pm. Additionally, chief political anchor Bret Baier will debut a special edition of Special Report at 8pm, which will run each Sunday in primetime through the election.

Giuliani’s 9/11 — Sept. 11 at 12pm on NGC. Encore airing.

CIA Confidential: Hunt for Bin Laden — Sept. 11 at 1pm on NGC. Encore airing.

CIA Confidential: 9/11 Mastermind — Sept. 11 at 2pm on NGC. Encore airing.

9/11: Day That Changed the World — Sept. 11 at 2pm and 8pm on Smithsonian Channel. Encore airing.

Witness: D.C. 9/11 — Sept. 11 at 3pm on NGC. Encore airing.

9/11: The Firemen’s Story — Sept. 11 at 4pm on NGC. Encore airing.

Crowning New York — Sept. 11 at 4pm on Smithsonian Channel. A one-hour look at the engineering and construction behind One World Trade Center.

Inside 9/11: The War Continues — Sept. 11 at 5pm on NGC. Encore airing.

The Missing Evidence: 9/11 Secret Explosions in the Towers — Sept. 11 at 5pm on Smithsonian Channel. Scientists tackle conspiracy theories about how and why the Twin Towers collapsed on 9/11.

Inside 9/11: War on America — Sept. 11 at 6pm on NGC. Encore airing.

9/11: Stories in Fragments — Sept. 11 at 6pm on Smithsonian Channel. Encore airing.

9/11: The Heartland Tapes — Sept. 11 at 7pm on Smithsonian Channel. Encore airing.

911-fifteen-years-laterCNN Films Presents 9/11 Fifteen Years Later — Sept. 11 at 8pm and 11pm on CNN; Sept. 11 at 6am, 3pm and 8pm on CNN International. CNN has acquired and is co-producing this updated version of the Peabody and Emmy award-winning documentary 9/11. The film is directed, filmed, and executive produced by Gédéon and Jules Naudet, French-born filmmakers and brothers, and by retired Manhattan firefighter James Hanlon. CNN Films is working with the team to update the film for this 2016 edition. Denis Leary will introduce the new anniversary edition of the film, reflecting upon the heroism of the firefighters who responded that day. From the site of the National September 11 Memorial & Museum in New York City that commemorates the fallen, including 343 members of the New York City Fire Department, Leary will recall the bravery and emotions of the events in New York on Sept. 11, 2001, and beyond. CNN will air the two-hour film with limited commercial interruption in back-to-back broadcasts.

George W. Bush: The 9/11 Interview — Sept. 11 at 8pm on NGC. Encore airing.

102 Minutes That Changed America: 15th Anniversary — Sept. 11 at 8pm on History. This is an updated edition of the Emmy-winning documentary 102 Minutes That Changed America. The program chronicles the terror of 9/11 in real-time, providing a minute by minute account of the catastrophe as it unfolded.  The anniversary edition includes added interviews from those featured in the original film. 

9/11: The Longest War — Sept. 11 at 9pm on NGC. This new two-hour special provides a comprehensive look at the past 15 years — from the buildup to the attacks as the devastating events unfolded, to the military response in the years that followed — leading up to the present day. 9/11: The Longest War draws from a wide range of sources, including over 40 original National Geographic interviews with survivors, first responders, experts, journalists, politicians and military leaders; news footage and eyewitness videos culled from a rarely seen 400-hour archive; and chilling audio recordings from on board the doomed planes and inside air traffic control. 

America’s 9/11 Flag: Rise From the Ashes — Sept. 11 at 10:30pm on History. Featuring best-selling author and HISTORY host Brad Meltzer, this program looks at the mystery surrounding the iconic American flag that was raised by three New York City firefighters shortly after the 9/11 attack only to then disappear. 


Budweiser Super Bowl Commercial – Clydesdales 9/11 Tribute (2011)

One of the favorite Super Bowl Commercials of all time. Budweiser’s 9/11 tribute featuring their iconic Clydesdales passing the Statue of Liberty, crossing the Brooklyn Bridge, and finally pausing and bowing in a park overlooking the New York City skyline, without the twin World Trade Center Towers – which were destroyed in the terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001. This big game ad was broadcast in 2011 in honor of the 10th year anniversary remembrance of the September 11 attacks.


Now adults, children of 9/11 draw inspiration from tragedy

By Jennifer Peltz, Associated Press Posted: 09/08/16, 12:25 PM EDT

NEW YORK >> They were kids, or not even born yet, when America’s heart broke for them.

More than 3,000 children and young adults lost a parent in the deadliest terror attack on American soil, instantly becoming known as the children of 9/11.

As the 15th anniversary of the attacks approaches, these children are now adults or nearly so, and their Sept. 11 legacy is now theirs to shape.

Many have been guided by a determination to honor the parent they lost or the awareness they so painfully gained. And they have done it in ways as varied as working with refugees, studying the forces that led to the attacks and pursuing a parent’s unrealized pro-sports dream.

Here are some of their stories.


It’s Lindsay Weinberg’s job to find and notify families whose loved ones have died, sometimes under violent circumstances. It’s a job she’s particularly prepared to do.

“I’m giving them among the worst news they can receive, and I’ve received it,” she says.

Weinberg was 12 when the New York City medical examiner’s office, where she now works, told her family in 2002 that it had identified her father’s remains among the victims of 9/11.

“It adds to the amount of empathy that I can have,” says the 26-year-old, whose father, Steven Weinberg, was an accounting manager killed at the World Trade Center.

After recognizing how forensic science helped provide answers for her family, Lindsay got a master’s degree in it, and is now an outreach investigator. She hasn’t worked on the continuing analysis of the more than 21,000 bits of bone found at ground zero.

She says her connection to 9/11 is “not something that I lead with, personally or professionally.” But working at the medical examiner’s office, she says, shows “how things kind of come full circle.”


Thea Trinidad’s pulse thumped as she walked out on the floor of Madison Square Garden as part of pro wrestler Adam Rose’s entourage in 2014. It was the first time she’d been there in her own wrestling career. And the first time since she’d been there with her dad.

Looking up at the seats where they always sat “was like a punch to the heart,” she says.

She was 10 when she overheard her father calling her mother to say goodbye from the trade center’s north tower, where he worked as a telecommunications analyst. Growing up, she pondered how to honor him.

“I thought: ‘What was it we shared the most?’ And it was wrestling,” she recalls.

Michael Trinidad was a former high school wrestler who didn’t flinch when his tomboy daughter did leaping moves off the furniture. In fact, “he’d say, ‘No, you’re doing it wrong — let me show you,’” says Thea, 25, who lives in Tampa, Florida.

At first, the 5-foot-tall wrestler didn’t let on about her dad as she backflipped and body-slammed under the monikers Divina Fly and Rosita. (She now uses her own name). She didn’t want anyone thinking she was making a play for sympathy.

After her story emerged, Pro Wrestling Illustrated magazine named her Inspirational Wrestler of the Year in 2011.

She says she feels her father’s spirit every time she goes into the ring.

“This one’s for you, Dad,” she tells herself. “Protect me out there.”


Several years after 9/11, Michael Massaroli came across a plastic bin filled with condolence messages.

They had come from people around the country and world, many of them strangers, after the attacks killed his father and namesake, an investment executive. Michael was 6. His widowed mother had just given birth to a baby girl two months earlier.

“Hearing how people were so selfless and so caring to us really made me want to try to do something, career-wise, that I thought would help other people,” he says.

He decided that would be public service, since he was already interested in politics. By high school, he was interning for a state assemblyman.

Now 21 and newly graduated from George Washington University, he got his first job working at a Washington firm that helps political campaigns handle their finances properly. He sees himself eventually working in government as an adviser or aide.

“I really try and at least get positive personal growth out of something that was so horrific,” he says, “rather than let it break me down.”


Anjunelly Jean-Pierre once had her future all figured out. She planned on joining the military and eventually becoming the doctor or lawyer her mother envisioned.

Then her mother, Maxima Jean-Pierre, was killed at the World Trade Center, where the immigrant from the Dominican Republic managed an executive cafe.

Over the next few years, Anjunelly grieved, regrouped and decided she wanted to do what her mother did. Recalling the Sunday dinners that filled the house with friends and family, “I saw how food brings people together,” says Anjunelly, 34.

After culinary school and a stint as a sous-chef for an Emeril Lagasse TV show, Anjunelly now works in a setting where bringing people together is perhaps especially important: She is a manager in the Members’ Dining Room in Congress.

Last September, a letter she wrote about Maxima was entered into the Congressional Record. One of the most popular dishes she’s made over the years was Maxima’s rice and peas, she wrote: “I guess the love and the heritage comes through.”


Alexandra Wald wanted to understand. She soaked up books about the forces and failures that led to Sept. 11. She took four years of Arabic in college, got a master’s degree in international relations and aspired to work in intelligence.

“Being as affected as I was by the geopolitical landscape and my dad being killed on 9/11,” she says, “I wanted to make sure it never happened again.”

It was her first day of high school when her father, stockbroker Victor Wald, was killed at the World Trade Center.

His daughter, who goes by Alex, was already interested in world events. But 9/11 made her want “to be that person to decipher that information, to protect the homeland.”

Now 28, she works on a cybersecurity project for a contractor for the federal General Services Administration in Washington.

Studying for her career — with help from the Families of Freedom Scholarship Fund, set up for the children of 9/11 victims — also meant dealing with the frustration of contemplating missed opportunities to disrupt the terror plot.

When the anger stirred, she’d think of some advice her father gave her a few weeks before the attacks.

“You can’t look back with regret,” he told her. And “never say, ‘What if?’”


It’s all right to ask Ryan McGowan about the “IX.XI” tattooed on the back of her neck. It’s 9/11 in Roman numerals.

“Once it’s on my skin,” she says, “I have to talk about it.”

Ryan was 5, sister Casey 4, when their mother, investment executive Stacey Sennas McGowan, was killed at the trade center.

As a preteen, Ryan partly played the role of parent, helping her sister pick outfits for school and making dinner when their father, Tom, had to work. She came to think of her mother as “an amazing guardian angel.”

Now 20, Ryan is a junior majoring in marketing at Boston College, where 19-year-old Casey is a sophomore in communications.

Often, Ryan makes her way through the campus to a labyrinth inscribed with her mom’s name and those of 21 fellow BC graduates killed in 9/11. It’s a place she feels close to her mother, whose remains were never identified and buried.

“I can just sit there and reflect,” she says. “I don’t have that anywhere else.”


Ronald Milam Jr. doesn’t always tell his football and basketball teammates that there’s a reason he wears the number 33. It’s for his father, Army Maj. Ronald Milam, who was 33 when he was killed at the Pentagon on 9/11.

Ronald Jr. never met his father. His mother, then-Air Force Capt. Jacqueline Milam, was pregnant with him on 9/11. She safely escaped from the Pentagon.

Ronald Jr., now a 14-year-old high school freshman in San Antonio, is one of the more than 100 Sept. 11 victims’ children who were born after the attacks.

He has his dad’s features and unflappable personality. And his jersey number was a connection he could make with his father, a college player himself.

“I wanted to play in honor of my dad,” he says. “So I picked that.”


Sometimes, after refugees told her their stories of conflict and loss, Sonia Shah would let them know that she had one, too.

Explaining that her father died in 9/11 opened “a bonding moment,” says the Baylor University social work student, who spent the summer volunteering with refugee aid organizations in Greece.

Her father, Jayesh “Jay” Shah, was killed at ground zero, where he was a financial trading technology executive. Sonia was 7.

His death fueled Sonia’s impulse to try to help where others turn away.

“Because I had faced loss at such a young age and in such a different way than many other people, I recognized hardship in other people’s life a lot more easily,” says the 22-year-old senior, who took a year off from college for religious study. She says that without her faith, she “wouldn’t be as whole and as healed.”


9/11 victims could be allowed to sue Saudi Arabia over alleged ties to attack


The United States house of representatives voted Friday to pass a bill that would allow the families of victims of the 11 September terror attacks to sue Saudi Arabia’s government for damages.

The legislation was passed by a voice vote in the chamber four months after it was approved by the senate and is symptomatic of a growing desire in Washing to re-examine it’s alliance with the oil-rich kingdom which has, for decades,  been treated as America’s untouchable ally. 

Ted Poe, a Republican congressmen from Texas who voted on the bill said the American government needs to be more concerned about the families of the Twin Towers victims than “diplomatic niceties”.

But Barack Obama on Friday threatened to exercise his presidential veto to stop the bill becoming law, warning that the legislation, which strips foreign nations of immunity from American law suits, could backfire.

The White House is concerned that it would allow foreign countries to, in turn, bring legal action against the United States government to address grievances. 

The House vote came two months after Congress released 28 declassified pages from a congressional report into the 11 September attacks that reignited speculation that some of  the attackers had ties to Saudi government officials.  Fifteen of the 19 hijackers from 9/11 were Saudi nationals.

Several subsequent US investigations failed to substantiate the allegations, and the Saudi government has consistently and fiercely denied the claims. 

Brian McGlinchey, the director of the advocacy website 28pages.org, said making the documents public has “strengthened the resolve of 9/11 families and other advocates of justice to bring about the enactment” of the bill.

A decision by Obama to veto legislation “that would give 9/11 families their well-deserved day in court would truly stain his legacy,” Mr McGlinchey said.


Toby Keith – Courtesy Of The Red, White And Blue (The Angry American)





The National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial is centered in the 400 block of E Street, NW, Washington, DC and is the nation’s monument to law enforcement officers who have died in the line of duty. Dedicated on October 15, 1991, the Memorial honors federal, state and local law enforcement officers who have made the ultimate sacrifice for the safety and protection of our nation and its people.

The Memorial features two curving, 304-foot-long blue-gray marble walls. Carved on these walls are the names of more than 20,000 officers who have been killed in the line of duty throughout U.S. history, dating back to the first known death in 1791. Unlike many other memorials in Washington, DC, the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial is ever-changing: new names of fallen officers are added to the monument each spring, in conjunction with National Police Week.

Upon the panels of its hallowed walls are engraved the names of those NYPD fallen during the aftermath of the attacks on the WTC.


All 343 NYFD Killed at the World Trade Center September 11, 2001




Taps Played Before Cowboys vs. Jets Game – 9/11 Tribute (9-11-2011)

Tribute to 9-11 as Taps is played and so is Amazing Grace before Lady Antebellum sang the Star Spangled Banner at the NY Jets and Dallas Cowboys game on Sunday Night Football.



Have You Forgotten?





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