Leprechaun Laughs #341 for Wednesday March 23rd 2016

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Good morning folks

A death in the family, an unplanned business trip to Galveston for two day which saw me come home with a slight relapse of my recent illness as well as heavy business workload have left me scant time to finish this issue over the past week and short on talk fit for polite company

Hopefully I can put forth a better effort next week.

Impish is doing our Easter Issue again this Year since it falls closer to his day than mine . Luckily we had decided this just prior to my getting all these surprises.

Now if you’ll excuse me I have a pile of customers, a wife, a bunch of irate family and a doctor all making demands of me and I have to find a way to appease them all.

Enjoy the issue

Let's Roll 28

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Mail

Left in the comments section for us by first time commenter Roger Brunswick.

My apologies Roger for removing this from the comments section but I found it quite well thought out and presented and unfortunately not nearly enough people read or use our comments section. By putting it here I made sure everyone would see it and you’d get your full 15 min of fame as it were.

I thought that your readers might enjoy this take on Trumps popularity. Perhaps the best explanation yet.

Here is an answer to the question asked by so many…. Why are so many Americans voting for Trump?

Like many citizens, I’ve wondered and tried so hard to understand why Trump has such a remarkable following. (The Democrats and Media seem to think it’s obvious why we should not !!) Then a friend sent me this Raccoon story. It makes no difference about your political leanings, it’s just a good explanation of WHY. (or it’s as good as any I have ever heard and I agree with it)

Please, don’t reply with political rants from your side of the fence. This is not a message to support either party. It just helps understand how on earth Trump can remain so “popular” You have to admit, it’s not easy to understand.

OK. To begin, a Republican writes a letter; read on, even if you are a Democrat, it explains the lure of Trump.

Dear Representative,

From the time I was able to vote I voted republican. I am 80 and have a great deal of respect and influence with hundreds of senior ball players who also network with thousands of others around the country.

I received your questionnaire and request for money and strongly agree with every question since Obama was elected. Unfortunately the one question that was missing is “What has the Republicans done for the American people?” We gave you a majority in the house and senate and you never listened to us. Now you want our money?

You should be more concerned about our votes, not our money. You are the establishment which means all you want is to save your jobs and line your pockets… Well guess what? “It’s not going to happen” You can shake in your boots when I tell you our movement is for TRUMP and he hasn’t asked for a dime.

You might think we are fools because you feel Trump is on a self destruct course but look beyond Washington and listen to the masses. Nobody has achieved what he has, especially in the state of New York.

If you really want to know how the majority of people feel? And this applies to both democrats and republicans, read below, it says it all.

Sincerely,

Here comes the part about the raccoons:

You’ve been on vacation for two weeks, you come home, and your basement is infested with raccoons. Hundreds of rabid, messy, mean raccoons have overtaken your basement. You want them gone immediately… You call the city, 4 different exterminators but nobody can handle the job… But there is this one guy and he guarantees you he will get rid of them, so you hire him. You don’t care if the guy smells, you don’t care if the guy swears, you don’t care if he’s an alcoholic, you don’t care how many times he’s been married, you don’t care who he votes or supports, you don’t care if he has plumber’s crack…you simply want those raccoons gone! You want your problem fixed! He’s the guy. He’s the best. Period

Back to Trump

Here’s why we want Trump, yes he’s a bit of an ass, yes he’s an egomaniac, but we don’t care.

The country is a mess because politicians suck, the Republican Party is two-faced & gutless, and illegals are everywhere.

We want it all fixed! We don’t care that Trump is crude, we don’t care that he insults people, we don’t care that he had been friendly with Hillary, we don’t care that he has changed positions, we don’t care that he’s been married 3 times, we don’t care that he fights with Megan Kelly and Rosie O’Donnell, we don’t care that he doesn’t know the name of some Muslin terrorist.

This country is weak, bankrupt, our enemies are making fun of us, we are being invaded by illegal’s, we are becoming a nation of victims where every Tom, Ricardo and Hasid is a special group with special rights to a point where we don’t even recognize the country we were born and raised in; “AND WE JUST WANT IT FIXED” and Trump is the only guy who seems to understand what the people want. We’re sick of politicians, sick of the Democratic Party, Republican Party, and sick of illegals.

We just want this thing fixed. Trump may not be a saint, but he doesn’t have lobbyist money holding him, he doesn’t have political correctness restraining him, all you know is that he has been very successful, a good negotiator, he has built a lot of things, and he’s also not a politician, he’s not a cowardly politician. And he says he’ll fix it. And we believe him because he is too much of an egotist to be proven wrong or looked at and called a liar.

Also we don’t care if the guy has bad hair.

*We just want those raccoons gone*.

Out of our house. *NOW.*

I feel this is why thousands of people that haven’t voted in 25 years are registering to vote this year. The raccoons have got to go.

Roger Brunswick

!cid_85EEFB430F4643A4BA91E3200ABBF953@PeterStempien

 

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So Impish told me he received not one but two commendations at work this week. I was impressed until he sent the a picture of them.

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So THAT’S what they mean when they say ‘Hair of the Dog’!

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Google Condom Announced

This draft press release was secretly forwarded to me from an old college friend, well placed at the Googleplex in a high-profile R&D unit. He insists on anonymity for obvious reasons, but he has proved a reliable source in the past. (I heard about Google Glass from him in 2012 about six months before beta versions actually appeared in public.) Internal metadata attached to the document suggest that product introduction is imminent.

LATEST GOOGLE WEARABLE PROMOTES BOTH ZPG AND ENHANCED PLEASURE
The new Google Condom represents the most advanced technological wonder in the contraception market. Merely the latest product in the wide-ranging Google portfolio of remarkable inventions, this remarkable innovation further advances Google’s global mission: to solve the world’s problems – from the everyday to the epic, from the mundane to the monumental.
This enhanced condom includes all the standard advantages of regular condoms (a thin impermeable polymer membrane that permits confident safe sex and inhibits both pregnancies and STI disease transmission) but also deftly incorporates a wide range of technological devices designed to heighten, record and transmit many of the most significant aspects of sexual intimacy.
Head Scientist Stephen Highland of the R&D unit Google X notes that many of the individual innovations present in the Google Condom were developed in support of other Google products, such as Google Glass. “We learned a lot about miniaturization from Glass,” maintains Highland, “but for the Google Condom, it was a matter of synergy, bringing together a suite of appropriate technological solutions into one unified package, something that Google has always done well.”
Recent breakthroughs in nano-technology, including the same engineering micro-precision that allows miniature cameras to be attached to small insects to study invertebrate flight, come to fruition in the Google Condom. The base model Google Condom (GC) includes a micro-camera at the tip (or “head”) of the condom that weighs just over three grams and incorporates a wide-angle lens and a three megapixel camera sensor with ultra-high ISO that allows spectacular imaging even in low light conditions. Photos are automatically captured at fifteen-second intervals for as long as ten minutes.
Google Media Specialist Ginger Ingram says the “result is a bit like a ‘cervix selfie.’ “
Video output, still under development, will be available in the Hyper GC+ model, due for release in October. For all GC models, Wifi (Wi-Fi 802.11b/g) transmission hardware is mounted in a small fluid-proof polymer pouch at the base of the condom, unobtrusive and out of the way. Data is transmitted to a suitable receiving device (laptop, notebook) via Bluetooth protocols for up to a thirty-foot radius. Data files are JPG, MP3 and MP4 formats and are fully compatible with all Android devices.
One step up from the base model, the GC+ condom includes a series of embedded sensors that provide audio outputs, timer alerts and temperature monitoring to the receiving device.
Usability testing indicates that the opportunity to capture and later “relive” the multi-sensory condom experience is “highly exciting” and “revolutionary” in its impact for practitioners.
Google focus groups have been uniformly glowing. “The quality of the visual imagery is stunning,” reported one early tester, “from entry to final event.” During the climactic moments the Dolby enhanced audio files have been described as reminiscent of “up close at Niagara Falls” or the “take-off of a Boeing 747.” For a full-feature experience, the audio outputs can be synced seamlessly to standard camcorder output files if the condom event is captured by a third party or a remotely mounted camcorder on a tripod.
Timing alerts have proven attractive to the Fitness Tracker market. The ability to set a auditory reminder signal (which for a GC+ means a soft, low-timbre tone, audible to both participants) assists efforts to prolong copulatory duration. Infinitely adjustable to intervals from one to twenty minutes, the preset timer indicates time taken in res copulatio. By establishing a “benchmark,” users then can take measures to extend the union. One prototype tester reported that with just a little practice, he was able to double his original session average to over seven minutes.
Heat sensors produce a low humming tone when copulatory temperatures rise more than five degrees Celsius above standard body temperature. “Frictional heat is one measure of intensity,” added Highland. “Testers report greater enjoyment when this range of temperature elevation is maintained for an extended period. Helping users find their ‘sweet spot’ is a Google priority.”
Final pricing has not yet been finalized, but Google Marketing insists that the base model GC will cost “less than a good dinner out.”
The document has a release date tentatively slated for April of this year.
My source reports that Silicon Valley being the hyper competitive snakepit that it is, word of the pioneering aspects of GC has leaked out and other companies are already scrambling to produce their own competing versions. Apple’s product, predictably named the “iCum,” will include a variety of bright Art Deco colors as distinguishing features.
I suppose it is only a matter of time before folks will be asking for a “smart condom” at their local liquor store or other usual purchase location. My own feeling, perhaps a bit retrograde and coming from a perhaps jaded engineer, is that a wearable is only as “smart” as what it covers. I am not sure where a penis lies on the intelligence spectrum, but that is a separate issue.

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Sorry no time or appetite for recipes this week, just some bacon to make your mouth water right along side Clan Mistress SC’s

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So Cashews Grow Like This, And We Officially Know Nothing

In the wonderful world of trail mix, cashews are the real MVP. (Chocolate excluded.) We’ve eaten plenty of them over the years, but we never stopped to wonder: How do these things actually grow? 

Well, now that we know, we’re kind of freaking out.

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Turns out, each and every cashew nut grows attached to a “false fruit,” the red, apple-esque object in the photo above. Technically, the cashew nut itself is the tree’s fruit, so the fleshy cashew “apple” is merely a byproduct. The “false fruit” is edible, but highly perishable.

Cashews are cultivated primarily in Brazil and India, where the “apples” are often made into beverages or jams. Cashew harvesters also chew on them in the fields, drinking their sweet juice. 

After the cashew nuts are detached, they are dried in the sun in their shells. And if you’ve ever wondered why you can’t buy in-shell cashews, the reason lies in the shell itself. Cashew shells contain anacardic acid, which can cause allergies and irritation similar to poison ivy. Once the nuts are removed from their shells, they are steamed or roasted to remove any poisonous residue. After that, they’re finally ready to enjoy.

So next time you reach for a handful of cashews, take a moment to remember the weirdly wonderful way they came to be.    via Huffington Post

THE KNEELING HIGH JUMP

This is Incredible!!!

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Are you aware that a new world record has been set for the HIGH JUMP
from a KNEELING position?

The record (0.757 meters) – remember this is from a KNEELING position,
was set recently on a beach near Montpellier in Southern France.

The photograph below was taken a split second before the jump – but it gives
you an idea as to how it was achieved.

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Kryptonite Green

Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Dragon Laffs #1479

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Good Morning Campers,

It’s been one of those weeks around the Dragon Household.  I’m still recovering from Lethal’s St. Patrick’s Day party.  Very pious all day, and then as soon as the sun starts going down, the food appears!  It seemed like miles of food.  And the beer, I tried more of those types of beer than I ever imagined and more food, and toasts with some really good Irish Whiskey.  Stuff that didn’t even have a real label on it, from somebody’s private stash and more food and more drink and dancing.  And sad songs and happy songs and….
you get the idea.  Mrs. Dragon is either still missing or still sleeping, I’m afraid to go in the bedroom and look.

Me?

I woke up this morning on the living room floor with the Izzy Dragon looking down at me and shaking her head.  Her disgust was so loud in its silence that it made my head hurt worse.  And I didn’t think that was possible.

So, while you guys are here, I’m going to go look and see if Mrs. Dragon is there.  You guys go ahead and start and I’ll catch up with you soon.

 

Lets laugh

1859

Dang!  That’s the same advice that MY doctor gave ME! 

Murphy a furniture dealer from Dublin, wanted to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris

to see what he could find.
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After arriving in Paris, he visited with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well back home. To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine.5a

As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house.5b

Before long, a very beautiful, young Parisian girl came to his table, asked him  something in French (which Murphy could not understand), so he motioned to the vacant chair and invited her to sit down.5c

He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language. After a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. 5dShe nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her.

After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. 5eThey left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music.

They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing.5f

She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up.

Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.5g

To this day, Murphy has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business.

1860

 

Dragons

Skull Dragon

One of my favorite all time screen wall papers.

1861

Okay, so I’m a bit confused.  I found Mrs. Dragon in bed, sound asleep with a big smile on her face and a ring of flowers in her hair.  I’m sure there is something about that I should be upset about, but quite frankly, I can’t think enough to figure it out.

I’m sure Lethal will let me know when I see him later today.

The kids filed into class Monday morning. They were all very excited. Their weekend assignment had been to sell something, then give a talk on salesmanship. Little Sally led off. “I sold Girl Scout cookies and I made $100,” she said proudly. My sales approach was to appeal to the customer’s civil spirit, and I credit that approach for my obvious success.” “Very good” said the teacher. Little Debbie was next. “I sold magazines” she clarified. “I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up to date on current affairs. I sold heaps and I made $200.” “Very good, Debbie” said the teacher. Eventually, it was Little Johnny’s turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a boxful of cash on the teacher’s desk. “$1000!” he exclaimed. $1000″ cried the teacher! “What in the world were you selling?” “Toothbrushes.” answered Little Johnny. “Toothbrushes!” echoed the teacher. “How could you possibly sell enough toothbrushes to make that much money?” “I found the busiest corner in town,” explained Little Johnny. “I set up a Dip & Chip stand, and I gave everybody who walked by a free sample. “They all said the same thing. ‘Hey, this tastes like dogshit!’ “Then I would say ‘It is dog shit …..wanna buy a toothbrush?’ “I used the POLITICIAN’S method of giving you some crap, dressing it up so it looks good, telling you it’s free, then making you pay bunches to get the bad taste out of your mouth…”
Little Johnny got five stars for his assignment! 

 

Little Johnny is now running for office.

1862

 

This ended up being very important to me since a large part of my day is spent behind a computer.  I’m going to ask for a sit/stand desk at work.
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Fantasy

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More of our security personnel.  We don’t take any chances.

1863

 

Movie Night

Okay, so this first one is very funny.  It looks like it comes from a movie.

I’d have helped her with that bra and gotten shot myself.  It would’ve happened!

And for this next one, I really want one of these!

If catastrophe happens and our planet is in trouble, there’s one place in the world that’s ready to help out. Hidden in the Norwegian Arctic, this vault stores as many seeds as possible, so civilization can go on in a time of crisis.

 

British Humor.   Since some of this is not likely to make sense to some of you rednecks out there, I’ll try to explain as necessary…

Muslims have gone on the rampage in Manchester, killing anyone who’s English..
Police fear the death toll could be as high as 8 or 9. Okay, this one is easy…it’s funny because Manchester is now mostly Muslim.  Get it…only 8 or 9 English persons? Alright, never mind, you’re on your own for the rest of them.

Years ago it was suggested that, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.” But, since
all the doctors are now Muslim, I’ve found that a bacon sandwich works great!  

Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque… They’ve told the public not
to panic as they’ve managed to push it inside.  

I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor
balcony, shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, “What’s up Abdul, won’t it start?”

An Emergency Call Centre worker has been fired in Toronto much to the dismay of her
colleagues, who were unhappy with her dismissal.
It seems that a caller dialed 911 from a cell phone stating, “I am depressed and lying on a railway line so that when the train comes I can finally meet Allah.” To which the call centre employee replied, “Remain calm and stay on the line.”

1864

 

Critter

a15

a16

a17

a18

a19

1865

Just before I die I’m going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels. 

My cremation is going to be EPIC!!

 

1866

And that is the same exact excuse I’m sure so many are using nowadays!  No respect.  For others AND themselves.

Politics

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1b

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THAT’S IT!!!!!!  I KNEW there was something!

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NO shit!

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And none of them see anything wrong with that!  Can you say “reverse discrimination”?

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2h

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I can get behind Odin for president!  He’s the only one who fulfilled his promises.  Odin For President!  Odin in 2016!

President Obama in his press conference with Prime Minister Trudeau denied any blame for the rise of Donald Trump. That’s very true. At the time Donald Trump began his meteoric rise in the polls last year, President Obama was too busy denying any blame for the rise of ISIS.

1867

When I asked Lethal about the flowers, all he did was laugh.  The more I asked the harder he laughed to the point he ended up sitting on the floor with tears running down both his fat little green cheeks.  Now, I’m really confused.
 

 Really Good Questions!

Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety-one?

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages?

Aren’t  they just stale bread to begin with?

If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren’t people from Holland called  Holes?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Why is  a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?
         

If it’s true that we are here to help  others, then what exactly are the others here for?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen  defrocked, then doesn’t it follow that electricians  can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners  depressed?

Do Lipton Tea employees take ‘coffee breaks?’

What  hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald  men?

I  thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use, Toothpicks?

Why do  they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them?  Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

Is it true that you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

Why,  Why, Why do we press  harder on the remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee due to insufficient funds; when they already know you’re broke?

Why is it that when  someone tells you that there are one billion stars in the universe you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint you have to touch it to check?

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose cruel idea was it to put an “s” in the word “lisp”?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that, no matter what color bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people run over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it and then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

How do those dead bugs get into the enclosed light fixtures?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

Why, in winter, do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained  about the heat?

And A FAVORITE:
The statistics on sanity say that one  out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental  illness. Think of your three best friends.

If they’re OK..then it’s  you!

REMEMBER, A day without  a smile is like a day without  sunshine!

And a  day without sunshine is,  like………..night!!!!

 

Motivational

constitution

Japan

Japan2

Japan3

Japan4

Japan5

So, we had a run of Japan there.  That’s what happens when you put things in alphabetical order.

1868

Last Word

Finally, some feel good, nice news for a change.  I saw this article and just had to share it and felt like the Last Word was the perfect place to do it.
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Florida Town Offers ‘Super Hero’ Parking Spots For Veterans And First Responders
Sarah Sicard

 

 on March 15, 2016

Cocoa Beach, Florida, has added “super hero” parking spaces reserved for for veterans and first responders.

The city of Cocoa Beach, Florida, has found a new way to honor veterans and first responders —  by designating “super hero” parking spots.

In Nov. 2015, local councilman and veteran Tyler Furbish proposed the idea to fellow veteran and city manager John Titkanich. Just a few days later, three of these spots were opened at City Hall, according to USA Today.

“We always need to honor our first responders and our veterans for what they have done and what they continue to do on a daily basis,” said Furbish. “ … I thought that’s just a great thing and we should do it.”

The spots are denoted by large signs that read “Super Hero Parking Only.” They are intended for use by active-duty service members, veterans, police officers, and firefighters.

“I would like to see it spread across the county,” Furbish said.

Although use of the space by super heroes exclusively can’t be enforced, the parking spaces have so far been successful, existing on an honor system.

If you go to the article here: http://taskandpurpose.com/florida-town-offers-super-hero-parking-spots-veterans-first-responders/ there is a nice video clip at the end that I can’t seem to get embedded.  It’s worth watching.
CheersImpish Dragon
Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Lethal Leprechaun’s St Patrick’s Day Issue 2016

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Morn ta ya, all you unfortunate non True Sons and Daughters o’ Erin. ‘Tis sorry I am that none o’ you were lucky enough to be born true Irishmen or women.

Tomorrow incase you didn’t know is St Patrick/Padraig’s Day (Padraig being the Gaelic spelling of Patrick) a.k.a my my favorite n patriotic holiday of the year! NO! I’ll not be one o’ the thousands of you heathens using the day as an excuse the lay about sodden drunk in your cups, and no bloody green beer will be ever passing my lips. ‘Tis mass I’ll proudly be attending early on the morrow – you’ll see more on that below.  That followed by a full day of traditional Irish fare and music both home and at the pub.

Irishopoly is the Irish version of Monopoly my favorite game- except I play with real streets real houses real Railroads & Utilities and I own the bank!

Well, we’ve a really full o’ the Craic and Blarney issue today, so its best you get right to it.

 

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Taking a wee break from the golf course, Rory Mcllroy drives his new Mercedes into an Irish gas station.
An attendant greets him in a typical Irish manner, unaware who the golf pro is…
“Top o? the mornin to ya”
As Rory gets out of the car, two tees fall out of his pocket.
“What are those things, laddie?” asks the attendant.
“They’re called tees,” replies Rory.
“And what would ya be usin ’em for, now?” inquires the Irishman.
“Well, they’re for resting my balls on when I drive,” replies Rory.
“Aw, Jaysus, Mary an’ Joseph!” exclaims the Irish attendant.
“Those fellas at Mercedes think of everything…

Actually we refer to them as our ‘’”McGoogles”.

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Wolfe Tones – Wearing Of The Green

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Shillelagh

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A shillelagh ( Irish: sail éille [ˈsalʲ ˈeːl̠ʲə], “thonged willow”) or blackthorn stick is a wooden walking stick and club or cudgel, typically made from a stout knotty stick with a large knob at the top, that is associated with Ireland and Irish folklore.

Originally known as the Irish: bata, or stick, the name shillelagh is an Anglophone corruption of the Irish sail éille and appears to have become convoluted with that of the village and barony of Shillelagh, County Wicklow. The shillelagh was originally used for settling disputes in a gentlemanly manner — like a duel with pistols or swords. Modern practitioners of bataireacht study the use of the shillelagh for self-defense and as a martial art.  Of the practice, researcher J. W. Hurley writes:

Methods of shillelagh fighting have evolved over a period of thousands of years, from the spear, staff, axe and sword fighting of the Irish. There is some evidence which suggests that the use of Irish stick weapons may have evolved in a progression from a reliance on long spears and wattles, to shorter spears and wattles, to the shillelagh, alpeen, blackthorn (walking-stick) and short cudgel. By the 19th century Irish shillelagh-fighting had evolved into a practice which involved the use of three basic types of weapons, sticks which were long, medium or short in length.

Shillelaghs are traditionally made from blackthorn (sloe) wood (Prunus spinosa) or oak. Wood from the root was prized as it was less prone to cracking during use. The wood would be smeared with butter or lard, and placed up a chimney to cure, giving the shillelagh its typical black shiny appearance. Shillelaghs may be hollowed at the heavy “hitting” end and filled with molten lead to increase the weight beyond the typical two pounds; this sort of shillelagh is known as a ‘loaded stick’. They are commonly the length of a walking stick (distance from the floor to one’s wrist with elbow slightly bent). Most also have a heavy knob for a handle which can be used for striking as well as parrying and disarming an opponent. Many shillelaghs also have a strap attached, similar to commercially made walking sticks, to place around the holder’s wrist.

In modern usage, the shillelagh is recognized (particularly in an Irish-American context) as a symbol of Irishness. For example, the NCOs of the Fighting 69th regiment of the United States Army National Guard carry shillelaghs as rank badges in parades. The Boston Celtics logo has a leprechaun leaning on his shillelagh, and it is regularly featured with the leprechaun on the logos for many Brothers Rugby league teams across Australia. In San Diego, Padres broadcaster Mark Grant popularized the shillelagh as a rally call, by using terms like “Shillelagh Power” to describe late game heroics by the Padres. (The success of the phrase led the San Diego Padres store to carry inflatable shillelaghs). Similarly, in college football, a Jeweled Shillelagh is the trophy given to the winner of the rivalry game between the USC Trojans and Notre Dame Fighting Irish. Professional wrestler Finlay carried a shillelagh to the ring as an “illegal weapon”.

Shillelaghs are sometimes referred to in a similar context in folk songs, such as in the ballad “Finnegan’s Wake,” in which the term “shillelagh law” refers to a brawl, and in the 19th century song “Rocky Road to Dublin,” in which references are made to fashioning a shillelagh, using it to hold a tied bag over one’s shoulder, and using it as a striking weapon.

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The MGM-51 Shillelagh anti-tank missile was named for the club.

Lt Colonel John Storch of the 364th Fighter Squadron – 357th Fighter Group based in Leiston Suffolk England from 1944–45 had a Mustang P-51B 2106826 named “The Shillelagh” and also had a P-51D 472164 with the same nose art.

Officers of the Irish Guards and Royal Irish Regiment carry Blackthorn sticks, as did past Irish Regiments of the British Army, such as the 6th (Inniskilling) Dragoons and Fusiliers

 

This is my nephew, Less Than Lethal Leprechaun

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Prayer to St. Patrick, Patron of Ireland

Dear St. Patrick,
in your humility you called yourself a sinner,
but you became a most successful missionary
and prompted countless pagans
to follow the Savior.
Many of their descendants in turn
spread the Good News in numerous foreign lands.
Through your powerful intercession with God,
obtain the missionaries we need
to continue the work you began.
Amen.

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Even the Bishop wore green at St Patrick’s Church in Galveston this morning for Mass. Of course he’s not the only one wearing Green today!

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A “Lorica’ is a protective case a sheath. The term first came into use referring to a Roman Centurions breastplate

A sobbing Mrs. Murphy approaches Fr. O’Grady after mass.

He says: “So what’s bothering you?”

She replies: “Oh, Father, I’ve terrible news. My husband passed away last night.”

The priest says: “Oh, Mary, that’s terrible. Did he have any last requests?”

“Certainly father,” she replied. “He said: “Please Mary, put down that damn gun.”

 

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Then there are those who wear their green on the outside:

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Redneck Bagpipes

 

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A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, “I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I’ll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.”

The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan’s offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. “Is your bet still good?”, asks the Irishman.

The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement.

The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, “If ya don’t mind me askin’, where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?”

The Irishman replies, “Oh…I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first”.

 

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No, he is NOT what we mean when we say “Black Irish’!

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NO! There is no such thing as black Leprechauns either! Sheesh! That’s Garrett Morris very credibly singing “Oh Danny Boy” on an Original Episode of SNL while comedic comments scrolled the screen.

Who were the Black Irish, and what is their story?

The term “Black Irish” has been in circulation among Irish emigrants and their descendants for centuries. Yet, as a subject of historical discussion, it is almost never referred to in Ireland. There are a number of different claims as to the origin of the term, none of which are possible to entirely prove or disprove.

The term is commonly used to describe people of Irish origin who have dark features, black hair, a dark complexion and dark eyes.

A quick review of Irish history reveals that the island was subject to a number of influxes of foreign cultures. The Celts arrived on the island about the year 500 B.C.

Whether or not this was an actual invasion or rather a more gradual migration and assimilation of their culture by the native Irish is open to conjecture, but there is sufficient evidence to suggest that this later explanation is more likely.

The next great influx came from Northern Europe, with Viking raids occurring as early as 795 A.D. The defeat of the Vikings at the Battle of Clontarf in the year 1014 by Brian Boru marked the end of the struggle with the invaders and saw the subsequent integration of the Vikings into Irish society. The migrants became ‘Gaelicized’ and formed septs (a kind of clan) along Gaelic lines.

The Norman invasions of 1170 and 1172 led by Strongbow saw yet another wave of immigrants settle in the country, many of whom fiercely resisted English dominance of the island in the centuries that followed. The Plantation of Ulster in the seventeenth century saw the arrival of English and Scottish colonists in Ulster after the Flight of the Earls.

Each of these immigrant groups had their own physical characteristics and all, with the exception of the Ulster Planters, assimilated to some degree into Irish society, many claiming to be “more Irish than the Irish themselves”

The Vikings were often referred to as the “dark invaders” or “black foreigners.” The Gaelic word for foreigner is “gall” and for black (or dark) is “dubh.”

Many of the invaders’ families took Gaelic names that utilized these two descriptive words. The name Doyle is in Irish “O’Dubhghaill” which literally means “dark foreigner” which reveals their heritage as an invading force with dark intentions.

The name Gallagher is “O Gallchobhair” which translates as “foreign help.” The traditional image of Vikings is of pale-skinned blond-haired invaders but their description as “dark foreigners” may lead us to conclude that their memory in folklore does not necessarily reflect their physical description.

The Normans were invited into Ireland by Dermot McMurrough and were led by the famous Strongbow. The Normans originated in France, where black-haired people are not uncommon. As with the Vikings, these were viewed as a people of “dark intentions” who ultimately colonized much of the Eastern part of the country and several larger towns.

Many families, however, integrated into Gaelic society and changed their Norman name to Gaelic and then Anglo equivalents: the Powers, the Fitzpatricks, Fitzgeralds, Devereuxs, Redmonds.

It is possible that the term “Black Irish” may have referred to some of these immigrant groups as a way of distinguishing them from the “Gaels,” the people of ultimately Celtic origin.

Another theory of the origin of the term “Black Irish” is that these people were descendants of Spanish traders who settled in Ireland and even descendants of the few Spanish sailors who were washed up on the west coast of Ireland after the disaster of the Spanish Armada of 1588.

It is claimed that the Spanish married into Irish society and created a new class of Irish who were immediately recognizable by their dark hair and complexion. There is little evidence to support this theory and it is unlikely that any significant number of Spanish soldiers would have survived long in the war-torn place that was 16th century Ireland.

It is striking, though, how this tale is very similar to the ancient Irish legend of the Milesians who settled in Ireland having traveled from Spain.

The theory that the “Black Irish” are descendants of any small foreign group that integrated with the Irish and survived is unlikely. It seems more likely that “Black Irish” is a descriptive term rather than an inherited characteristic that has been applied to various categories of Irish people over the centuries.

One such example is that of the hundreds of thousands of Irish peasants who emigrated to America after the Great Famine of 1845 to 1849. 1847 was known as “black 47.” The potato blight which destroyed the main source of sustenance turned the vital food black. It is possible that the arrival of large numbers of Irish after the famine into America, Canada, Australia and beyond resulted in their being labeled as “black” in that they escaped from this new kind of black death.

Immigrant groups throughout history have generally been treated poorly by the indigenous population (or by those who simply settled first).

Derogatory names for immigrant groups are legion and in the case of those who left Ireland include “Shanty Irish” and almost certainly “Black Irish.” It is also possible that within the various Irish cultures that became established in America that there was a pecking order, a class system that saw some of their countrymen labeled as “black.”

The term “Black Irish” has also been applied to the descendants of Irish emigrants who settled in the West Indies. It was also used in Ireland by Catholics in Ulster Province as a derogatory term to describe the Protestant Planters.

While it at various stages was almost certainly used as an insult, the term “Black Irish” has emerged in recent times as a virtual badge of honor among some descendants of immigrants. It is unlikely that the exact origin of the term will ever be known and it is also likely that it has had a number of different iterations, depending on the historical context. It remains therefore a descriptive term used for many purposes, rather than a reference to an actual class of people who may have survived the centuries.

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Sadly regardless of how many times I explain and demonstrate this to Impish, bless his soul, he never stops trying.

The Irish Rovers, Raise A Glass To St. Patrick

 

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Lassi says “Paddy we’ve been married along time. You’re good lookin and I think you’ve slept with alotta women. I won’t be mad but I would like to know how many if any. Paddy says. My lovely Lass you should know I never slept with anyone but you my Darlin. All the rest I was awake.

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Ah a nice Shepard’s Pie and a mug o’ Guinness! A grand lunch ta be sure!

Food History Fast – Corned Beef and Cabbage

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  Traditionally, boiled bacon [Irish bacon isn’t anything like American bacon. American bacon comes from the belly while Irish bacon comes from the back so its leaner and not streaked with the fat as American bacon. It’s also usually not smoked or smoked only very lightly.- LL] was the food of choice on St. Paddy’s day for the Irish. When Irish immigrants came to the US, they couldn’t afford the high price of pork products, so they turned to the cheapest cut of meat: beef brisket. Since the US was a melting pot of cultures, the adopted cooking techniques from other countries, and instead of boiling it they brined the brisket like the Eastern Europeans. As for the “corned” part? It has nothing to with corn but actually refers to the corn-sized salt crystals used in the brining process.

Reuben Sandwich

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Patricia Taylor, daughter of the late Arnold Reuben, told “New York Times” that an actress friend of Charlie Chaplin walked into Reuben’s deli and said, “Reuben, make me a sandwich, make it a combination, I’m so hungry I could eat a brick.” With that motivation, Reuben stacked up the legendary ingredients for the first time. The actress liked it so much that she said, “Gee, Reuben, this is the best sandwich I ever ate. You ought to call it the Annette Seelos Special.” Taylor says her father then responded, “Like hell I will, I’ll call it the Reuben’s Special!”

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The Shamrock

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A shamrock is a young sprig of clover, (Not to be confused with four-leaf clover)  used as a symbol of Ireland. Saint Patrick, Ireland’s patron saint, is said to have used it as a metaphor for the Christian Holy Trinity. The name shamrock comes from Irish seamróg, which is the diminutive of the Irish word for clover (seamair) and means simply “little clover” or “young clover”.

Shamrock usually refers to either the species Trifolium dubium (lesser clover, Irish: seamair bhuí) or Trifolium repens (white clover, Irish: seamair bhán). However, other three-leaved plants—such as Medicago lupulina, Trifolium pratense, and Oxalis acetosella—are sometimes called shamrocks or clovers. The shamrock was traditionally used for its medicinal properties and was a popular motif in Victorian times.

The word shamrock derives from seamair óg or young clover, and references to semair or clover appear in early Irish literature, generally as a description of a flowering clovered plain. For example, in the series of medieval metrical poems about various Irish places called the Metrical Dindshenchus, a poem about Tailtiu or Teltown in Co. Meath describes it as a plain blossoming with flowering clover ( mag scothach scothshemrach). Similarly, another story tells of how St. Brigid decided to stay in Co. Kildare when she saw the delightful plain covered in clover blossom (scoth-shemrach). However, the literature in Irish makes no distinction between clover and shamrock, and it is only in English that shamrock emerges as a distinct word.

The first mention of shamrock in the English language occurs in 1571 in the work of the English Elizabethan scholar Edmund Campion. In his work Boke of the Histories of Irelande, Campion describes the habits of the ‘wild Irish’ and states that the Irish ate shamrock “Shamrotes, watercresses, rootes, and other herbes they feed upon”.  The statement that the Irish ate shamrock was widely repeated in later works and seems to be a confusion with the Irish word seamsóg or wood sorrel (Oxalis).  There is no evidence from any Irish source that the Irish ate clover, but there is evidence that the Irish ate wood sorrel. For example, in the medieval Irish work Buile Shuibhne or ‘The Frenzy of Sweeney’, the king Sweeney who has gone mad and is living in the woods as a hermit, lists wood sorrel among the plants he feeds upon.[18]

Writing soon after in 1596, was the English Elizabethan poet Edmund Spenser who described his observations of war-torn Munster after the Desmond Rebellion in his work A View of the Present State of Ireland. Here shamrock is described as a food eaten as a last resort by starving people desperate for any nourishment during a post-war famine: “Anatomies of death, they spake like ghosts, crying out of theire graves; they did eat of the carrions …. and if they found a plott of water cresses or shamrockes theyr they flocked as to a feast for the time, yett not able long to contynewe therewithall.”

The idea that the Irish ate shamrock is repeated in the writing of Fynes Moryson, one-time secretary to the Lord Deputy of Ireland. In his 1617 work An itinerary thorow Twelve Dominions Moryson describes the ‘wild Irish’, and in this case their supposed habit of eating shamrock is a result of their marginal hand-to-mouth existence as bandits. Moryson claims that the Irish: “willingly eat the herbe Schamrock being of a sharpe taste which as they run and are chased to and fro they snatch like beasts out of the ditches.” The reference to a sharp taste is suggestive of the bitter taste of wood sorrel.

What is clear is that by the end of the sixteenth century the shamrock had become known to English writers as a plant particularly associated with the Irish, but only with a confused notion that the shamrock was a plant eaten by them. To a herbalist like Gerard it is clear that the shamrock is clover, but other English writers do not appear to know the botanical identity of the shamrock. This is not surprising, as they probably received their information at second or third hand. It is notable that there is no mention anywhere in these writings of St. Patrick or the legend of his using the shamrock to explain the Holy Trinity. However, there are two possible references to the custom of ‘drowning the shamrock’ in ‘usquebagh’ or whiskey. In 1607 the playwright Edward Sharpham in his play The Fleire included a reference to “Maister Oscabath the Irishman … and Maister Shamrough his lackey”.[21] Later, a 1630 work entitled Sir Gregory Nonsence by the poet John Taylor contains the lines: “Whilste all the Hibernian Kernes in multitudes, /Did feast with shamerags steeved in Usquebagh.”

Link to St. Patrick

St. Patrick depicted with shamrock in detail of stained glass window in St. Benin’s Church, Wicklow, Ireland

Traditionally, shamrock is said to have been used by Saint Patrick to illustrate the Christian doctrine of the Holy Trinity when Christianizing Ireland in the 5th century. The first evidence of a link between St Patrick and the shamrock appears in 1675 on the St Patrick’s Coppers or Halfpennies. These appear to show a figure of St Patrick preaching to a crowd while holding a shamrock, presumably to explain the doctrine of the Holy Trinity.  In pagan Ireland, three was a significant number and the Irish had many triple deities, which could have aided St Patrick in his evangelization effort Patricia Monaghan states that “There is no evidence that the clover or wood sorrel (both of which are called shamrocks) were sacred to the Celts”. However, Jack Santino speculates that “The shamrock was probably associated with the earth and assumed by the druids to be symbolic of the regenerative powers of nature … Nevertheless, the shamrock, whatever its history as a folk symbol, today has its meaning in a Christian context. Pictures of Saint Patrick depict him driving the snakes out of Ireland with a cross in one hand and a sprig of shamrocks in the other.” Roger Homan writes, “We can perhaps see St Patrick drawing upon the visual concept of the triskele when he uses the shamrock to explain the Trinity”.

The first written mention of the link does not appear until 1681, in the account of Thomas Dineley, an English traveller to Ireland. Dineley writes:

The 17th day of March yeerly is St Patricks, an immoveable feast, when ye Irish of all stations and condicions were crosses in their hatts, some of pinns, some of green ribbon, and the vulgar superstitiously wear shamroges, 3 leav’d grass, which they likewise eat (they say) to cause a sweet breath.

There is nothing in Dineley’s account of the legend of St. Patrick using the shamrock to teach the mystery of the Holy Trinity, and this story does not appear in writing anywhere until a 1726 work by the botanist Caleb Threlkeld.  Threlkeld identifies the shamrock as White Field Clover (Trifolium pratense album ) and comments rather acerbically on the custom of wearing the shamrock on St. Patrick’s Day:

This plant is worn by the people in their hats upon the 17. Day of March yearly, (which is called St. Patrick’s Day.) It being a current tradition, that by this Three Leafed Grass, he emblematically set forth to them the Mystery of the Holy Trinity. However that be, when they wet their Seamar-oge, they often commit excess in liquor, which is not a right keeping of a day to the Lord; error generally leading to debauchery.

The Rev Threlkeld’s remarks on liquor undoubtedly refer to the custom of toasting St. Patrick’s memory with ‘St. Patrick’s Pot’, or ‘drowning the shamrock’ as it is otherwise known. After mass on St. Patrick’s Day the traditional custom of the menfolk was to lift the usual fasting restrictions of Lent and repair to the nearest tavern to mark the occasion with as many St. Patrick’s Pots as they deemed necessary. The drowning of the shamrock was accompanied by a certain amount of ritual as one account explains

“The drowning of the shamrock” by no means implies it was necessary to get drunk in doing so. At the end of the day the shamrock which has been worn in the coat or the hat is removed and put into the final glass of grog or tumbler of punch; and when the health has been drunk or the toast honored, the shamrock should be picked out from the bottom of the glass and thrown over the left shoulder.

The shamrock is still chiefly associated with Saint Patrick’s Day which has become the Irish national holiday, and is observed with parades and celebrations worldwide. The custom of wearing shamrock on the day is still observed and depictions of shamrocks are habitually seen during the celebrations.

Symbol of Ireland

As St. Patrick is Ireland’s patron saint, shamrock has been used as a symbol of Ireland since the 18th century, in a similar way to how a rose is used for England, thistle for Scotland and daffodil for Wales. The shamrock first began to change from a symbol purely associated with St. Patrick to an Irish national symbol when it was taken up as an emblem by rival militias, during the turbulent politics of the late eighteenth century. On one side were the Volunteers (also known as the Irish Volunteers), who were local militias in late 18th century Ireland, raised to defend Ireland from the threat of French and Spanish invasion when regular British soldiers were withdrawn from Ireland to fight during the American Revolutionary War.   On the other side were revolutionary nationalist groups, such as the United Irishmen.

The United Irishmen adopted green as their revolutionary color and wore green uniforms or ribbons in their hats, and the green concerned was often associated with the shamrock. The song The Wearing of the Green commemorated their exploits and various versions exist which mention the shamrock. The Erin go bragh flag was used as their standard and was often depicted accompanied by shamrocks, and in 1799 a revolutionary journal entitled The Shamroc briefly appeared in which the aims of the rebellion were supported.

Since the 1800 Acts of Union between Britain and Ireland the shamrock was incorporated into the Royal Coat of Arms of the United Kingdom, depicted growing from a single stem alongside the rose of England, and the thistle of Scotland to symbolize the unity of the three kingdoms. Since then the shamrock has regularly appeared alongside the rose, thistle and (sometimes) leek for Wales in British coins such as the two shilling and crown, and in stamps. The rose, thistle and shamrock motif also appears regularly on British public buildings such as Buckingham Palace.

Throughout the nineteenth century the popularity of the shamrock as a symbol of Ireland grew, and it was depicted in many illustrations on items such as book covers and St. Patrick’s Day postcards. It was also mentioned in many songs and ballads of the time. For example, a popular ballad called The Shamrock Shore lamented the state of Ireland in the nineteenth century. Another typical example of such a ballad appears in the works of Thomas Moore whose Oh the Shamrock embodies the Victorian spirit of sentimentality. It was immensely popular and contributed to raising the profile of the shamrock as an image of Ireland.

It has become a tradition for the Irish Taoiseach (the head of government or prime minister of Ireland)  to present a bowl of shamrocks in a special Waterford Crystal bowl featuring a shamrock design to the President of the United States in the White House every St. Patrick’s Day

The shamrock has been registered as a trademark by the Government of Ireland.  In the early 1980s, Ireland defended its right to use the shamrock as its national symbol in a German trademark case, which included high-level representation from taoiseach Charles Haughey. Having originally lost, Ireland won on appeal to the German Supreme Court in 1985.

 

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were reading a newspaper article about which nationalities’ brains were for sale for transplant purposes. An Irishman’s or a Scotsman’s brain could be bought for €500 but an Englishman’s brain cost €10,000. That proves,’ said The Englishman, ‘that Englishmen are much cleverer than Irishmen or Scotsmen.’
‘No it doesn’t,’ said The Irishman, ‘it just means that an Englishman’s brain has never been used.’

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Dr O’Mahony tells his patient: “I have bad news and worse news, John.”

“Oh dear,” John replies. “What’s the bad news?” asks the patient.

The doctor replies: “You only have 24 hours to live.”

“That’s terrible,” says the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?”

Dr O’Mahony replies: “I’ve been trying to contact you since yesterday.”

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Slow-Cooker Cabbage, Potatoes and Bacon

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You don’t have to be Irish to enjoy cabbage with potatoes, and while this is a great dish for St. Patrick’s Day, you can also enjoy it year-round.
And one of the best ways to appreciate cabbage and potatoes is straight from the slow cooker, after they’ve had a long simmer with bacon and Irish beer, of course. During the cooking process, the smoky, salty and umami bacon flavors melt into the cabbage and potatoes, and everything comes out perfectly cooked. The beer adds moisture and just makes the whole dish better.

But there is a trick: You have to layer the ingredients in the right order. To avoid overcooked, mushy potatoes and to make sure the bacon flavors everything, you can’t throw everything in the pot willy-nilly. Here’s how to layer right:
Bottom layer: Since the cabbage takes the longest to cook, place it in first, as the bottom of the crock is the largest heat source. Onions go in next — toss them with the cabbage so they add flavor throughout.
Middle layer: Here’s where the potatoes go, along with salt, pepper and sweet-savory anise-flavored caraway seeds.
Top layer: Bacon goes on top so its flavorful juices can drip down into the pot and make everything yummy.
Final touch: Pour Irish beer (or chicken stock) over everything.

Slow-Cooker Cabbage, Potatoes and Bacon

 Yield: 6 servings

Ingredients

1 small cabbage, roughly chopped (about 6 cups)
1 small onion, chopped
3 medium potatoes (about 1 pound)
1 tablespoon caraway seeds (optional)
3/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
4 strips center-cut bacon, chopped
8 ounces Irish lager beer, such as Harp (or reduced-sodium chicken stock)

Directions

Spray large slow-cooker crock with nonstick cooking spray. Place cabbage in bottom of slow cooker; add onion and toss gently.
Add potatoes, caraway seeds, salt and pepper.
Sprinkle potatoes with bacon. Pour beer over potatoes and bacon.
Cook for 3 hours on high setting, or 6 to 7 hours on low setting, until potatoes are tender. Stir gently before serving.
Per serving (1/6th of recipe): Calories 142; Fat 2 g (Saturated 1 g); Sodium 421 mg; Carbohydrate 24 g; Fiber 4 g; Sugars 5 g; Protein 5 g

A Few Sage Words o’ Cooking Wisdom From Chef Lethal:

1.) For authenticity use thick cut bacon. Better yet since Irish bacon comes from the back where as American bacon comes from the (fattier) belly, use one or two thin cut smoked pork chops removed from the bone and sliced up. Toss the bones in between the Middle and Bottom layers for extra flavor and remove before serving.

2.) If you can’t find Harps, or have something against paying $8/ 6 pack for a beer you’re going to cook with (I would!) you can use Killian’s Irish Red or Budweiser’s American Ale with a similar result. In truth you can use just about any beer you are happy drinking, but for the love of St Paddric don’t let it be green beer!

3.) A good crusty bread is an accompaniment must with this.

Slow Cooked Leg of Lamb With Rosemary and Garlic

Lamb is a traditional meat in Ireland and most Shepard’s Pies there are made with chopped/ground lamb not beef. In some areas where family gatherings for a St Padraig’s Day meal will be large Lamb will likely be the meat on the menu. If not then certainly for Easter.

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Ingredients

1 small bunch fresh rosemary (coarsely chopped)
3 cloves garlic (minced)
Zest of 1 lemon
olive oil
leg of lamb
sea salt
freshly ground black pepper

For the mint sauce

4 tbsp. chopped fresh mint leaves
2 pinches salt
1 tsp. sugar
3 tbsp. wine vinegar
1 tbsp. hot water

Method

Mix the chopped rosemary, minced garlic, lemon zest and olive oil together. Season the lamb with salt and pepper and rub the marinade into it. Brown the lamb on all sides in a large frying pan. Transfer the meat to your slow cooker. You don’t need to add any liquid – the lamb releases enough on its own. Cook on low for 8 hours. To make the mint sauce, mix the chopped mint, salt, sugar, wine vinegar and hot water.

This slow cooked leg of lamb with rosemary and garlic is delicious served with the homemade mint sauce and crispy roast potatoes and veg.

Traditionally the veg will be carrots, parsnips and /or turnips in some combination. Onions may or may not make an appearance depending on preference.

Black Velvet Cocktail

There’re more options to toast St. Patrick’s Day than [shudder] green beer and Irish coffee. If you’re seeking a sip that won’t turn your mouth green or keep you up all night, the Black Velvet cocktail is the perfect pour.

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This cocktail only requires two ingredients; Champagne and Ireland’s most famous stout- Guinness. It looks like black velvet and feels just as decadent to sip. The key to this cocktail is the correct assembly: just like any time you pour either Champagne or Guinness on their own, you need patience. Watching these pours settle into their glass is part of the enjoyment. So no shaking, stirring or swirling required. Just pour slowly and enjoy.

Ingredients

  • 3 ounces Brut Champagne, chilled
  • 3 ounces Guinness Stout, chilled

Preparation

In a champagne flute*, pour the chilled Champagne. Slowly top with the chilled Guinness. Enjoy!

*You may need to adjust your amounts to fit your glass. The key is to combine equal portions of Champagne and Guinness.

Irish Descendants  – Step it out Mary

 

An Irish priest is driving down the road and is pulled over for speeding.
The garda smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and then sees an empty wine bottle beside him. He asks the priest, “Sir, have you been drinking?”
The priest responds, “No officer, just water,”
The policeman asks, “Then why do I smell wine?”
The priest looks at the bottle and says, “The Good Lord! He’s done it again!”

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Slightly Bawdy Irish Limericks

There are some things we musn’t expose
So we hide them away in our clothes.
Oh, it’s shocking to stare at what’s certainly there
but why this is so, Heaven knows

An Irishman from Montana
Who said he could play the piana
His finger slipped
His zipper ripped
And out came a hairy banana

An Irish lady named Mable,
whose ass was as big as a table.
“Never you mind.”
said a friend of mine.
She’s ready, willing, and able.

An Irish lady named Hilda
who went on a date with a builder –
he asked if he should –
she said that he could –
so he did, and very near killed her!

An Irish lady from Ongar
who was shagged in the sea, by a conger,
her girl friend from Deal,
asked “how did it feel?”
she said “nice – like a man – only longer!”

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One night, Mrs McMillen answers the door to see her husbands best friend, Paddy, standing on the doorstep.

“Hello Paddy, but where is my husband? He went with you to the beer factory”

Paddy shook his head. “Ah Mrs McMillen, there was a terrible accident at the beer factory, your husband fell into a vat of Guinness stout and drowned”

Mrs McMillen starts crying. “Oh don’t tell me that, did he at least go quickly?”

Paddy shakes his head. “Not really – he got out 3 times to pee!”

 

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Top 10 Irish Beers – A ‘must-know’ list for St. Patrick’s Day

A huge part of Irish tradition, the delicious stouts, ales and lagers of Ireland have become staple items at most St. Patrick’s Day celebrations around the world. With flavorful beers from brands like Harp, Murphy’s, Guinness, there’s a notable Irish brew for all types of beer lovers . Whether you’re heading to an Irish Pub or hosting your own party, here are 10 of the best Irish beers to enjoy for St. Patrick’s Day!

Murphy’s Irish Stout

Light and sweet in flavor compared to the rest, Murphy’s Irish Stout has become increasingly more popular especially in the US.

A fair substitute for Guinness when its not available. however I prefer cooking with Murphy’s using it in place of Guinness as I find Guinness can tend to overpower many dishes. Plus to be honest its cheaper too.

O’Hara’s Irish Wheat

Joining fruits such as bananas, peaches and plums with traditional hops, this golden wheat ale is smooth and thirst-quenching. Although not the common Irish stout, this tasty brew is perfect for those who prefer a lighter, easy-drinking option.

Fruit in beer? That’s a drinkable dessert in a glass for beer snobs and ladies!

Smithwick’s Irish Ale

Often referred to as “Smitticks”, Smithwick’s captures a unique flavor that combines its hops with sweet aromatic fruits and deep malt, coffee and roasted barley notes.

Pairs well with Shepard’s Pie or Irish Stew. A good place to start your introduction of Irish Beers.

O’Hara’s Celtic Stout

This full-bodied, smooth and dry Irish stout combines the rich flavor of smooth coffee with traditional hops and tasty notes of licorice.

Since I’ve never tried it, I can nae offer my opinion on it.

Beamish Irish Stout

The fully rounded, malted flavor of Beamish Irish Stout is created using original Beamish yeast dating back to 1792 to capture the traditional taste of stout from Ireland.

Again since I’ve never tried it, I can nae offer my opinion on it.

Kilkenny Irish Cream Ale

With a base flavor similar to Smithwick’s, the distinct smooth and creamy finish of Kilkenny Irish Cream Ale gives it its own unique and delicious blend.

Originally brewed in Kilkenny its now made by Guinness which makes more sense than you might think since the best description of it I’ve ever heard was ‘tastes like Smethwick’s but feels like Guinness in your mouth.

Harp Lager

Light in color and refreshing in flavor, this highly-favored European-style lager is unlike the rest as it boasts a smooth and sharp finish.

Another one brewed now by Guinness, Harp despite those who claim its not a true Irish beer is one of my personal favorites asa much for its stand up well to most foods and wells as for its drinkability. I don’t like beers that go down like water. If I’m drinking beer I want to know when I hit the dregs that I’ve consumed a pint of beer on a glass of yellow water. That’s a large part of the reason I prefer Ales or Imported Beers over most Domestic beers

Murphy’s Irish Red

Originally dating back to 1856, this naturally red, hoppy Irish beer is crisp and dry with flavorful notes of fruit and caramel.

Pretty much the basis behind Coor’s George Killian’s Irish Red. In my humble opinion while there is absolutely nothing wrong with Murphy’s Irish Red (other than it being hard to find off the East Coast or anyplace sans a large Irish contingent) You’re better off buying the Killians and saving about $5 a 6 pack which is what I do. Besides this way that freeloaders who only bring a 6pack to the party but drinks 12 beers isn’t chugging your good Irish beer while drunk.

Guinness Draught, Extra Stout, and Foreign Extra Stout

With deep, dark and satisfying flavors and distinctly smooth aromas, the three varieties of Guinness brews are undoubtedly among the most popular Irish beers, especially in the US.

Nectar of the Irish God’s, Goddesses and all true son’s o’ Erin. ‘Nuff said right there.

The Irish Pub by The High Kings

 

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Now that is what we Irish mean when we say ‘ the barmaid gives good head’

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You’ll probably be wanting this line after sampling all those beers!

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Posted in Uncategorized | 7 Comments

Dragon Laffs #1478

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Good Morning Campers,

I’ve had an interesting week. 

So, Monday I called the dentist because I had a lot of pain in my jaw and in one tooth.  Dentist comes in, looks and says, “It’s got to go.”  So Tuesday, I’m a tooth short of what Identist had over the weekend.  Although I am missing a tooth, I’ve been given added pain, so it’s a trade-off. (Yes, for those of you who aren’t quite awake yet, that was sarcasm.  Just so you know.)

Tuesday is darts night for me and I had a pretty good night.  But what I wanted to mention here is the most interesting of shots I had.  I took a picture of it.

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It’s called “Robin Hooding” the dart.  Here, let me give you a closer look:
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You can see where the second dart actually split the flight of the first one.  And as accurate as that shot was, it didn’t count.  Because the only darts that count are the ones that actually touch the dartboard.  It would’ve been the third sixteen I needed to close out the sixteen’s in Cricket.

Cool shot anyway.

Wednesday I got some really bad news and spent the whole day in meetings, so applausewe won’t dwell on Wednesday other than to say, Wasn’t Lethal’s Leprechaun Laffs excellent on Wednesday?  I’m not sure that his experiments with weather and trying to give me snow didn’t work…at least partially … with all the rain we’ve had this week, had it actually been snow, he definitely would have gotten the blizzard he was looking for.  Converting actual rain to potential snow, we would’ve had about 2 ½ feet of snow.  But, due to either some glitch in the formula or Mother Nature’s interference, we got rain instead of snow. 

Thursday saw me having a crazy day at work and not accomplishing much of anything else.  Didn’t even work my normal household chores because of the very long work day…well and the aching jaw I still have after that dentist visit!

And that brings us up to Friday, which is now…well, it’s now for me, now, but it won’t be now for your when you read this, because your now will be different from my current now. But my now is right now and I’m writing this now, so it’s got to be your now, too while you’re reading it, but it’s not now, it’s then.


um…
Yeah, sort of.

Okay, now my head hurts trying to work all that out.  So, let’s just get right to it:

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When Bill Clinton was in office, a very important meeting took place among God, the Pope and Moses.
They were troubled because the President of the United States was behaving in an inappropriate manner, and there were many people who saw nothing wrong with what he had done.
They decided that the only course of action left was to create an ’11th Commandment,’ to get their message across.
Now, the problem remained exactly how to *word* this new Commandment so that it matched the other Commandments both in style and holy inspiration. After great meditation and discussion they concluded:
“Thou shalt not comfort thy rod with thy staff.”

1847

M&Ms with obstacles.  Perfect.  That could be the perfect analogy for my life.  Striving for the M&Ms (The Good Life) and having to avoid the evil almonds (Unplanned for debt like care repairs and household problems), despicable raisins (actually I like raisins, but for this analogy, let’s call them the stupid people…left wing loonies, democratic dunces, anti-gun morons, you know the ones), problematic peanuts, and those awful annoying sunflower seeds that are just a plain nuisance.  Who eats those things, anyway? They’re small, they get stuck in your teeth and the shell is a pain to get through. 

Yeah, M&Ms with obstacles.  Perfect.

 

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I found this quite interesting.  Seems like Russian trained Chechen Spetznaz troops are undercover in ISIS and providing detailed information.  Do you think we have assets undercover in ISIS giving back information?  Other than our own administration, that is.

SPETZNAZ UNDERCOVER AMONG ISIS DIRECTING RUSSIAN AIRSTRIKES

21STCENTURYWIRE

FKTV – Alexandra Bruce – March 5, 2016breaking-news

It has recently come to light that the a major reason for Russia’s success in the battle against ISIS is due largely to the Chechen units of the Russian Spetznaz (special forces), that have infiltrated ISIS in both Iraq and Syria, since the very beginning.

Chechen President, Ramzan Kadyrov explains that long before the term ISIS became an international buzzword, he was aware of the Western operated training camps for so-called “moderate rebels”, so he ordered Chechen Spetznaz soldiers to join ISIS.

“Our soldiers went through training at NATO bases and helped to found the Syrian State [ISIS]. They wear clothes common for ISIS and look like them.”

Thus, a large network of Chechen agents was established throughout ISIS since the very beginning, collecting vital information with powerful results, when Chechen agents began coordinating their on-the-ground intelligence with Russia’s air campaign.

Kadyrov apparently feels secure in speaking so openly about the operation because he is confident that the Chechen men are so deeply entrenched, all with fake passports, etc. that they will never be caught.

These revelations being made now about the the operation may well be a tactical move, to create more chaos and confusion within the already collapsing terror group.

I would not be surprised at all to find out that this is one big dis-information tactic to get ISIS chasing after its own tail.  Time will tell.

1848

A blonde is terribly overweight so her doctor put her on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for two days then skip a day and repeat this procedure for two weeks.Blonde, dumb The next time I see you you’ll have lost at least five pounds.”
 
When the blonde returned she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.
 
“Why that’s amazing!” the doctor said”Did you follow my instructions?”
 
The blonde nodded… “I’ll tell you though I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.”
 
“From hunger you mean? “asked the doctor.”
 
“No from skipping.”

Okay, well it’s time. 

We skipped it last week and now I have a plethora of them.

So, I have to put them in here and now before they start multiplying and getting completely out of control.

What are we talking about, you ask?

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It’s fun!  Let’s do this!
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Oh yes.  Our fearless leader (feckless leader?) has got to keep his priorities in line.  (Okay, so I just looked up the definition of “feckless”.  One of those words I’ve heard a million times and thought I knew what it meant, but you look it up to be sure.  Well, here’s the definition:
adjective

1. ineffective; incompetent; futile:

feckless attempts to repair the plumbing.
2.having no sense of responsibility; indifferent; lazy.
So, it turns out that “feckless leader” is a much more appropriate term).  Let’s move on, shall we?
1a

And another great example.  I’ll not need to comment on this one.

1a1Did you see where there are petitions going around for Bill’s arrest for illegally campaigning for Hillary at polling places?  Maybe we can get them to share a cell.  Wouldn’t that be a karmic ending!

1bYeah, maybe more so than the others, but I’m not sure even THIS kind of beheading will get much of a rise out of him.

1cAnd therein lies the REAL reason the democrats are pushing so hard for amnesty.

1g

Amen!  At the current time, it’s almost a 1:1 ratio, with one worker for every one person on some sort of government handout.  That means that since I’m the sole provider in my household, I’m providing for not only my wife and daughter, but for some other 3 person family.  I wonder if I can take those other three off on my taxes?  Probably not.

1h

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“HEY!  Close the damn door!  Can’t you see I’m busy in here!?”

 

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One of the things that ALL of us pay attention to, talk about and are concerned for is….
The Weather!
I know, it’s not the most exciting of topics unless you’re in the way of some of the nasty stuff, but it can be fun.  Watch this:

Yeah, cartoon eyeballs.  That’s exactly what that looks like.

 

1850

Oh, if it were only that easy!!!

Two blondes were walking down the road and the firstblonde blonde said, “Look at that dog with one eye!”

The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says, “Where?” 

1851

The General went out to the check point to find that none of his G. I.s were there. One finally ran up, panting heavily. “Sorry, sir! I can explain, you see, I had a date and it ran a little late. I ran to the bus, but missed it; I hailed a cab, but it broke down; found a farm, bought a horse, but it dropped dead; ten miles a-running, and now I’m here.” The General was very skeptical about this explanation, but at least he was here so he let the G. I. go. Moments later, eight more G. I.s came up to the general, panting; he asked them why they were late. “Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, so I ran to the bus — but missed it, I hailed a cab, but it broke down; found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I’m here.” The General eyed them, feeling very skeptical but since he let the first guy go, he let them go, too. A tenth G. I. jogged up to the General, panting heavily. “Sorry, sir! I had a hot date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but…” “Let me guess,” the General interrupted, “it broke down.” “No,” replied the G. I., “there were so many dead horses in the road, it took forever to get around them!”

1852

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A very dedicated fan of Dragon Laffs!

1853

Yum!!  Black Forest Ham!  I’ve got to find this forest!  You guys go ahead and keep reading I’ll be back in a little bit!
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Jeannie…or maybe Gracie…sent me this next one and I have to agree with her title, What the hell is going on in Oakland?!

This is CRAZY!  No respect for other people, no respect for law enforcement, no enforcement of the law by law enforcement.  This is the perfect example of the entitlement mentality that way too many young people have today.  This is pure bullshit!  Makes what we did as kids seem like kindergarten.

Why are there riots?  Why are there demonstrations that get violent?  Because when someone finally says they’ve had enough or when police have to take a stand and know they are going to be in danger (these slimeballs were actually throwing bottles at police vehicles and the police departed!) they feel like they are not getting everything they are entitled to and act out like animals.

Then on the news today is the story of two drunk women on a plane playing a boom box.  Okay, that’s rude!  Well, when asked to turn it down they turned it up and said, “What are you going to do about it?”  So, other women on the plane jump up and there is a fist fight at 30,000 feet!  Shit like that would have NEVER happened even a couple of years ago!  Now, I can do whatever I want…it’s my right!  (Maybe modeling behavior after our president who thinks he can do whatever he wants with executive orders?).  Oh,  by the way, you know how many people were arrested and charged?  ZERO!

What the hell is going on in Oakland?  The same damn thing that is starting to happen all over.  If you continue to watch videos after the above, you will see more videos of people behaving badly in many different places.  It sickens me and makes me so glad I live in a podunk little town and not in a big city.

1854

Mitt Romney and Senator John McCain issued statements Thursday in which they described Donald Trump as a threat to democracy. You can see their point. Allowing the American people to select their nominee over the establishment’s carefully screened candidates is simply undemocratic.  (For those of you who are still waking up, yes, that also was sarcasm.)

1855

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1856

I’ve been in the Wong Fook Hing Book Store many times.

Nancy Regan, an iconic American, passed this week.  I think this picture perfectly describes her:
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And one more that I just found:
2d

 

The Differences Between A Republican and A Democrat:

Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person.

Donald Trump gave the homeless person his business card and told him to come to his office for a job.  He then took $20 out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person.

Hillary saw this, so when they came to another homeless person she walked over to the homeless person and gave him directions to the welfare office.  She then reached into Donald’s pocket and got out $20.  She kept $15 for “administrative fees” and gave the homeless person $5. 

Now do you understand the difference?

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Jackpot

Jailbait

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Jammed Door

1857

I like this Brit.  I’ve given him airtime in the past, and this time he’s making just as much sense as he did before.

1858

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And for our Last Word, another perspective on what is currently going on with our political system…

When was the last time you could vote for the ideal candidate?  I’m old, and I have always voted.   I can’t remember ever thinking any candidates were ideal.  We always have two choices; usually Tweedledee and Tweedledum.  If you didn’t vote for Tweedledee you got Tweedledum.   That’s the way it is folks.
Now consider this …
 
You’ve been on vacation for two weeks, you come home, and your basement is infested with raccoons.  Hundreds of rabid, messy, mean, raccoons have over taken your basement.
 
You want them gone immediately, so you hire a guy. A pro. You don’t care if the guy smells, you need those raccoons gone pronto and he’s the guy to do it! You don’t care if the guy swears, you don’t care if he’s an alcoholic, you don’t care how many times he’s been married, you don’t care if he has plumber’s crack…you simply want those raccoons gone!  You want your problem fixed!  He’s the guy. He’s the best. Period.
 
That’s why Trump.  Yes, he’s a bit of an ass.   Yes, he’s an egomaniac, but you don’t care. The country is a mess because politicians are playing games and we are all sick and tired of Tweedledee and Tweedledum choices.  The Democrats are killing us, the Republican Party is gutless, liberals don’t have a clue, and illegals are everywhere. You want it all fixed!
 
You don’t care that Trump is crude, you don’t care that he insults people, you don’t care that he has been friendly with Hillary, you don’t care that he’s been married 3 times,  you don’t care that he fights with Megyn Kelly and Rosie O’Donnell, you don’t care that he doesn’t know the name of some Muslim terrorist,…this country is weak & bankrupt, our enemies are making fun of us, we are being invaded by illegal’s, we are becoming a nation of victims where every Tom, Ricardo and Ahmid is a special group with special rights – – – to a point where we don’t even recognize the country we were born and raised in; “AND WE JUST WANT IT FIXED”. 
 
Trump is the only guy who seems to understand what the people want.  We’re sick of politicians, sick of the Democrat and Republican Parties, and sick of illegal’s. You just want this thing fixed.
 
Trump may not be a saint, but no person or company he has ever done business with has ever come forward and called him corrupt, or hard to do business with.   He doesn’t have lobbyist money holding him, and he doesn’t have political correctness restraining him.  All you know is that he has been well educated at the university of Pennsylvania business school, seems to have boundless energy, has been very successful, is a good negotiator, has built a lot of things, and is not a cowardly, deceitful, professional, politician.   And he says he’ll fix it.

You don’t care if the guy has bad hair.

 
You just want those raccoons gone.
Out of your house!.
 
Now!!!!
 
THIS MAY BE WHY HE LEADS THE POLLS.
And now…he’s being supported by Dr. Ben Carson.
Until we meet again next week.
May your lives be blessed with happiness and laughter.
Impish Dragon
Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments

Leprechaun Laughs # 340 for Wednesday March 9th 2016

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Morning folks.

Nope no epic snow storm header experiment this week for a couple reasons.

Firstly Impish had an abscessed tooth pulled on Monday and strange its it sounds (and feels to me) I’m extremely sympathetic to the poor guy. In the event it worked I didn’t want him outside gritting his teeth while shoveling and snow blowing. Though some might allege my heart is smaller than the Grinch’s, I still do have one.

Second of all Mother Nature is pitching a wee bit o’ a hissy at me for experimenting with that wee bit o weather control apparently. ‘Tis been raining here at Keebler Towers since late Monday Evening and we’ve rain in our forecast through Saturday in a slowly diminishing chance with Tuesday and today being 100% chance for rain and 50% for violent Thunderstorms!

Hopefully the recent landscaping and drainage upgrades will continue to prove themselves and well have no incidents of patio flooding and wet/or carpet as we’ve had in the past when Mother Nature decided to give me a proper hosing down..

Mean time I need to get back to actual money making work as well as back to next week’s St Padraig’s Day Issue.  I plan on taking the day off and observing as much of a traditional Irish version of the religious commemoration as possible while among you American holiday miscelebrating heathens. So off with ya now, ‘tis later I’ll be catching you with you.

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No Bossy - Leadership skills

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Taco Stroganoff

An amazing one dish meal that is cheesy and delicious.  It tastes like nacho dip over noodles and beef and the flavor is amazing.  It is sure to become a family favorite!

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Prep time 10 mins

Cook time 15 mins

Total time 25 mins

Serves: 6

Ingredients

  • 1 onion chopped
  • 1 lb ground beef
  • 1 envelope taco seasoning
  • ½ cup water
  • 1 (14½ ounce) corn with peppers
  • 1 8 ounce package chive and onion cream cheese
  • 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
  • 8 ounces egg noodles cooked and drain
  • optional toppings:
  • cilantro
  • tortilla strips
  • olives
  • tomatoes

Instructions

  1. Cook onions and ground beef in large sauté pan until beef is browned. Drain fat. Add taco seasoning, water and corn to beef mixture in pan; cook 1-2 minutes.
  2. Add cream cheese and cheddar; cook until it heated through and cheese melts.
  3. Serve over noodles or toss with noodles and top with optional toppings.

Slow Cooker Pasta e Fagioli Soup

Super Easy Slow Cooker Pasta e Fagioli Soup. Rich, hearty and loaded with veggies and meat. A perfect, comforting soup for Spring or Fall!

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Serves: 8

Ingredients

  • 1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
  • 1 pound lean ground beef
  • 2 whole carrots, diced
  • 4 celery stalks, diced
  • 1 medium onion, diced
  • 28 ounce can crushed tomatoes
  • 2 cans (14.5 ounces each) beef broth
  • 2 whole bay leaves
  • 1 teaspoon dried oregano
  • 1 teaspoon dried basil
  • ½ teaspoon dried thyme
  • salt and pepper to taste
  • 1 can (15 ounces) cannellini beans, drained and rinsed
  • 1 can (15 ounces) red kidney beans, drained and rinsed
  • 1 cup ditalini pasta, uncooked

Instructions

  1. Add olive oil to a large skillet and add in ground beef. Cook until browned and no longer pink.
  2. Place the beef in a slow cooker along with the rest of the ingredients except for the beans and pasta.
  3. Cook on low for 7-8 hours or high for 3-4 hours. 30 minutes before serving stir in beans and pasta.
  4. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Discard bay leaves before serving.
  5. Serve immediately while hot.

I miss the America

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Big scams everyone needs to know about

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I was recently complaining to Impish about what a PITA its become to fly, with all the security pat downs, carry on checks, etcetera.

He told me he’d developed a system that got him hurried right through both Check In and  Security, plus got him boarded early. Well I threw the BS flag and challenged him to prove it. I swear I’ll never make that mistake again!

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Retired Man and the Vacuum Cleaner

Got this one from PaulB. I suspect he sent it because he was able to relate to the guy on some level.

 

 

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Yup flooding is getting pretty damned bad downtown!

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I…um…I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do here… I’m pretty sure they frown on doing what I think it means in public!

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DNA Got a Kid Kicked Out of School—And It’ll Happen Again

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A few weeks into sixth grade, Colman Chadam had to leave school because of his DNA.

The situation, odd as it may sound, played out like this. Colman has genetic markers for cystic fibrosis, and kids with the inherited lung disease can’t be near each other because they’re vulnerable to contagious infections. Two siblings with cystic fibrosis also attended Colman’s middle school in Palo Alto, California in 2012. So Colman was out, even though he didn’t actually have the disease, according to a lawsuit that his parents filed against the school district. The allegation? Genetic discrimination.

Yes, genetic discrimination. Get used to those two words together, because they’re likely to become a lot more common. With DNA tests now cheap and readily available, the number of people getting tests has gone way up—along with the potential for discrimination based on the results. When Colman’s school tried to transfer him based on his genetic status, the lawsuit alleges, the district violated the Americans With Disabilities Act and Colman’s First Amendment right to privacy. “This is the test case,” says the Chadam’s lawyer, Stephen Jaffe.

When Colman was born in 2000, DNA analysis of newborns was still rare. But he had a congenital heart problem that led to extra tests. That, in turn, led doctors to discover that he carried some genetic markers associated with cystic fibrosis. His markers are no guarantee of a disease though, and Colman never developed any cystic fibrosis. Still, his parents disclosed the information when filling out a medical form to enroll Colman in school.

That information made its way to teachers, who allegedly told the parents of the two other students with cystic fibrosis during a parent-teacher conference. Those parents allegedly demanded the Chadams remove their son from school. Eventually the the school district allowed Colman to return after missing a couple weeks.

The Chadams have since moved away from Palo Alto—but the wheels of the legal system are still turning. When the family first sued the school district in 2013, a district court dismissed the case. The Chadams appeal the dismissal to the federal Ninth Circuit court in January. The Departments of Justice and Education have also written a brief in support of the Chadam’s case, which suggests the federal government has taken an interest in the case and its outcome.

A Railroad Company and Carpal Tunnel

To experts in genetics law, four letters are conspicuously missing from the legal wrangling: GINA, or the federal Genetic Information Nondiscrimination Act of 2008. GINA bars genetic discrimination in just two cases: employment or health insurance. That obviously doesn’t include getting education and housing and plenty of other situation where discrimination might happen. “This case is an useful reminder about the limitations of the federal statute,” says Jennifer Wagner, a lawyer and contributing editor to Genomics Law Report. That’s why the Chadam’s case does not rest on GINA but the ADA, where its application to genetic discrimination is untested.

There is, however, a one example of how the ADA and genetic information intersect. Back in 2001—before GINA passed—the railroad company Burlington Northern Santa Fe was looking for genetic markers for carpal tunnel syndrome in its workers who filed for worker’s comp. (The workers claimed their carpal tunnel syndrome came from operating BNSF machinery; the company was clearly looking for another excuse.)

The US Equal Employment Opportunity Commission filed suit on behalf of the workers, and they eventually reached a settlement in 2002. The workers got $2.2 million—but because the suit ended in a settlement rather than a court decision, it did not establish a legal precedent for the ADA covering discrimination based on genes. The outcome in Chadam’s case could, if a trial goes forward, spell out exactly who gets to access genetic information and what decisions can be made based on it.

In the fifteen years since Colman got a DNA test as a baby, tests have only gotten cheaper and more popular. You have 23andMe’s $199 spit test, of course, but also the National Institutes of Health pumping $25 million into baby sequencing studies. “As we do more screening earlier and earlier in life, there’s potential for misuse of information in ways that are harmful, that could potentially discourage parents from seeking genetic testing even if it’s medically indicated,” says Michelle Lewis, a pediatrician, attorney, and research scholar at the Johns Hopkins Berman Institute of Bioethics. The genetic discrimination future is here.

 

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