So it’s Saturday morning and I’m going to get an early start on this one. I’m going to be busy most of the rest of the weekend doing fun stuff … I hope, other than the fact that I have to mow the lawn at some point in time. But, I’m going to put that off for as long as I can. 

Right now I’m monitoring the church and waiting for a young lady to finish cleaning so I can go back over and reset the alarms when she’s done and Holly is watching her grand kidlets while their parents are out shopping for a new vehicle.

So, you guys get me for a little while. Ain’t you the lucky ones!  So let’s do this!

Why does it have to be either/or … why can’t it be both?

I would buy this collection today! Although, I think I have most of them anyway.

Don’t be fooled. It may have been written by man’s hand, but the words were from God, Himself.

That needs to be my shirt for work!!!! Holly says she getting it made! ROFLMBO!!!!

Joe sent this next one in from someone else, but I can say, wholeheartedly, I AGREE!!!

I’m worn out hearing people moan, “Our grandparents could buy a house on one paycheck, but now we can’t even afford rent on two!”
Yeah, maybe because Grandma wasn’t dropping half her income on $14 iced lattes and avocado toast shaped like art projects. Back then, if they wanted coffee, they boiled it at home in a dented pot. It tasted like burnt rubber and regret, but it woke you up and cleaned your pipes.
And Grandma wasn’t “out to brunch.” You think she had time for mimosas and hashtags? She was making something called whatever’s left in the fridge and feeding six people with it.
Don’t even start with Uber Eats. You think Grandpa was out here paying $38 to have a burger delivered three blocks away? Please. He grilled mystery meat on a rusted barbecue, and everyone called it dinner.
Now people cry about being broke while sitting in a house full of gadgets. Two SUVs in the driveway, six streaming services, three air fryers, and matching tattoos that cost more than their light bill. You think Grandpa had a tattoo? He did. It said “Korea, 1951,” and it came with trauma, not Instagram likes.
And the kids; Lord help us. “We can’t make ends meet, but Brayden needs the new iPhone!” No, he doesn’t. You’re handing an $1100 device to a child who still eats crayons and forgets to flush.
When we were kids, there was one phone. It hung on the wall like a family relic. The cord stretched just far enough for you to whisper secrets before someone yelled, “Get off, I need to make a call!” And guess what? We lived.
The TV? One. In the living room. With three channels and a dial that clicked like a safe. And if Dad wanted to watch bowling, you were a fan of bowling, end of story.
Now there’s a flat screen in every room, the baby’s got an iPad, the dog’s got a camera, and everyone’s wondering why they can’t afford rent.
Because you’re living like rock stars on retail salaries, that’s why.
Grandpa wasn’t leasing Teslas or buying $12 smoothies called “Green Zen Awakening.”

I read that to Izzy and she rolled her eyes at me. I told her that’s the truth and she said it’s not. What do you guys think?

Yeah….me, too.

Um… wouldn’t that be a GOOD thing? Just sayin’…

In case you missed it on 60 Minutes, this is what Andy Rooney thinks about women near or over 50:
“As I grow in age, I value women near or over 50 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
A woman near or over 50 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, ‘What are you thinking?’ She doesn’t care what you think.
If a woman near or over 50 doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it’s usually more interesting.
Women near or over 50 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot or stab you if they think they can get away with it.
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman near or over 50.
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman near or over 50 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one. You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women near or over 50 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman near or over 50, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.”

Sigh. So true. Ladies, I apologize for my gender all the damn time.

Where do I sign up? I need to be washed and vacuumed!

A young woman teacher with obvious liberal tendencies explains to her class of small children that she is an atheist. 

She asks her class if they are atheists too. Not really knowing what atheism is but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks. 

There is, however, one exception. A beautiful girl named Lucy has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. 

“Because I’m not an atheist.”

Then, asks the teacher, “What are you?”

“I’m a Christian.”

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Lucy why she is a Christian. 

“Well, I was brought up knowing and loving Jesus. My mom is a Christian, and my dad is a Christian, so I am a Christian.” 

The teacher angrily says, “That’s no reason.”

“What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?” 

She paused, smiled and said, “Then, I’d be an atheist.”

A blonde, tired of being made fun of and determined to end it all, grabs a rope and heads out to the park, where there are lots of trees.

A couple of hours later a man is walking by and sees the blonde, hanging from a tree by the waist.

“Can I help you with something, miss?” asks the man.

“No thanks. I’ve just had it with the world and with everyone making fun of me, so I’m hanging myself.” replies the blonde. 

“Well, you’ve got to put the rope around your neck if you want to do that,” offers the man helpfully.

“Well, I tried that,” says the blonde, “but I couldn’t breathe.” 

Sure, like God would never ask us to change or a loving God would never send anyone to hell.

A man walks into a small, quiet restaurant, sits down in a booth, and orders a bowl of hot soup.

A few minutes later, the waiter brings out the bowl, sets it down on the table, and starts to walk away.

“Excuse me, waiter!” the man calls out. “Please come taste this soup.”

The waiter turns around, looking surprised. “Is there something wrong with it, sir? Is it too cold?”

“Just taste the soup,” the man says calmly.

“Is it too salty? Not enough seasoning?” the waiter asks, trying to be helpful.

“I’m asking you to please just ,taste the soup” the man repeats.

The waiter sighs, walks back to the booth, and leans over. “Alright, fine, I’ll taste it. Where’s the spoon?”

The man looks up at him and says, “Aha! You tell me!”

ME TOO!!!

That’s alright!  Us good men don’t have flat stomachs and we talk back, too…usually with a smile on our faces in an attempt to get you to smile.  You may not believe it, but it works for me … with good women … ALL THE TIME!

Izzy just sent this to me. Not a Flock camera, but if you can get a speeding ticket via camera, something is wrong with this country. I want to get one of these because I would DEFINITELY take it to court and defy them to produce my accuser.   

He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know. 


– Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

And that’s it for today, my friends. Gotta shut it down kinda quick. On my way out the door. Until next time.