It.s mid week again folks, too far along to remember fondly last weekend and too far from Friday to look forward in anticipation yet to the impending 3 day weekend. In short just more of the same old same old. So nose to the grind stone, shoulder to the wheel, first born to the oil companies, yadda….yadda….yadda..…Awww Screw That!

Let’s Laugh!

Human, Leprechaun, Dragon what’s the difference? after all, we’re ALL caffeine addicts under the skin! Now step away from the coffee pot before I hint to the Dragon that’s the last cup you’re drinking so he doesn’t get any more and you find out how a roasting coffee bean feels!!

Twelve things that a motorcycle can teach…

1. The only good view of a thunderstorm is in your rear view mirror.
2. Four wheels might move the body…but two wheels move the soul.
3. I’d rather be riding my motorcycle and thinking about God than sitting in Church and thinking about my motorcycle.
4. Life may begin at 30…but it doesn’t get interesting until about 95….mph.
5. Midnight bugs taste just as bad as noontime bugs.
6. Sometimes it takes a whole tank of gas before you can think straight.
7. A bike on the road is worth two in the shed.
8. Young riders pick a destination and go… old riders pick a direction and go…
9. When you are riding lead, don’t spit.
10. Catching a yellow jacket in your shirt at 75 mph can double your vocabulary.
11. I’ve never seen a motorcycle parked outside a psychiatrist’s office.

And Finally:
12. Only Bikers know why dogs stick their heads out car windows.

Or as in the Dragon’s case it could be just be AFRC!

 

Yes I know Introspections are supposed to have a humorous ending. Yes I know there has been entirely too much deep serious material in this blog as of late. The problem is I was going to use this for a Last Word today until a certain lying liberal tried to distort facts WAY out of shape to make Obama look good as a comment on something in Monday’s issue and setting him and record straight as well as again pointing out that liberals will distort truth to suit their unsubstantiated version of reality took today’s Last Word spot.

Besides at least THIS will leave you with a good feeling.

I received this as an email and want to share it with all of you.

This isn’t a joke or cartoon; just something interesting to know…you may want to forward this on to others.

On Monday, I played the Disney, Lake Buena Vista course.  As usual the starters matched me with three other players.

After a few holes we began to get to know each other a bit.  One
fellow was rather young and had his wife riding along in the golf cart with
him.  I noticed that his golf bag had his name on it and after closer
inspection, it also said”wounded war veterans”.  When I had my
first chance to chat with him I asked him about the bag.  His response was
simply that it was a gift.  I then asked if he was wounded and he said yes.
When I asked more about his injury, his response was “I’d rather not
talk about it, sir”.

Over a few holes I learned that he had spent the last 15 months in an army rehabilitation hospital in San Antonio Texas.  His wife moved there to be with him and he was released from the hospital in September.  He was a rather quiet fellow; however, he did say that he wanted to get good at golf.  We had a nice round and as we became a bit more familiar I asked him about the a brand new set of Ping woods and irons he was playing.  Some looked like they had never been
hit.  His response was simple.  He said that this round was the first full round he had played with these clubs.

Later in the round he told me the following.  As part of the discharge process from the rehabilitation hospital, Ping comes in and provides

three days of golf instruction, followed by club fitting.  Upon discharge from the hospital, Ping gives each of the discharged veterans, generally about 40 soldiers, a brand new set of custom fitted clubs along with the impressive golf bags.

The fellow I met was named Ben Woods and he looked me in the eye and said that being fitted for those clubs was one of the best things that ever happened to him and he was determined to learn to play golf well enough to deserve the gift Ping had given him.
Ben is now out of the service, medically discharged just a month ago.  He is as fine a young man as you would ever want to meet.
Ping has the good judgment not to advertise this program.  God Bless America and the game of golf.

Not wanting to post something in error or that was unsubstantiated I attempted about 2 weeks ago to verify this on Snopes. Being unable to successfully locate it on their web site, after considerable time and effort, I was forced to submit it as a new rumor. I heard back today….

http://www.snopes.com/politics/military/ping.asp

Let me just say that IF I played golf (another example f something  we Irish thought up and taught the Scots to keep them out of our hair) this would STRONGLY motivate me to go out and buy an entire new set of PING clubs, even more so because they are doing it quietly and not for the publicity but for the vets.

The Top 5 Excuses for the Rapture Failing to Materialize

(Part I)

5> God was unable or unwilling to produce Jesus’s birth certificate.
4> Mom said to clean my room or NO RAPTURE.
3> God took the Jewish Sabbath day off to avoid a butt-chewing from the rabbi.
2> It did happen; God just thinks we all suck.

and The Number 1 Excuse for the Rapture Failing to Materialize…

1> Jesus still busy kicking bin Laden in the balls.
[ Copyright 2011 by Chris White/TopFive.com ]

I see where Harold Camping now says that was not the Rapture but the coming of Christ that happened on the 21st apparently the Rapture is now 5 months down the road now. IF Christ is here on Earth and anyone happens to see him would you please ask him to contact Impish or myself so we can have him do a guest Last Word before the Rapture. Thanks.

Ok, so maybe not so accidental as really cool, the important thing is I got to use it before Impish did. No that’s not me, if it was me I’d have a Stinger missile or one of those track mounted 20MM Phalanx cannons.

 

In Monday’s Last word I ran something sent to me by a friend regarding the number of jaunts taken by Obama and how last year Obama flew in Air Force One 172 times, almost every other day. This immediately caused one of his mindless liberal lemmings to attempt to “Blame it on Bush” by posting the following comment:

Don says:

May 23, 2011 at 08:05 (Edit)

President Bush recently spent his 879th day at his ranch in Crawford, Texas, on March 11, 2008 according to http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/03/1…

Notice conveniently the link is broken so you cannot read the entire thing but ONLY the portion the liberals want you to, the part that makes Obama look good. IF you read it ALL you would see that its NOT a CBS article but simply something they picked up and clearly written by a liberal with an anti Bush agenda. See here: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/03/11/politics/uwire/main3927378.shtml

Frankly this pissed me off for several reasons. Namely:

• The deliberately broken link and being arrogant enough to think I could not and would not track down the source of the article from the ample information given.
• The uber distortion of the fact via taking it totally out of context and the choice of facts which are blatantly in error and easily checkable to attempt once again to show Bush was incompetent and Obama is  simply falsely maligned and misunderstood.
• The lack of respect for this blog and for the authors of it that this crude and amateurish attempt to once again shroud the Liberal’s Socialist Islam Appeasing Messiah in a coat of white wash bullshit.represents is quite frankly insulting and demeaning. Basically Don pissed on our legs and tried to tell us it was raining.

As I responded to Don:

lethalleprechaun says:

May 23, 2011 at 13:05 (Edit)

Way to use figures out of context Don.
Did you point out you were comparing apples and oranges? NO. Just used figures so far out of skew that there is no basis for direct comparison to make your Democratic point seem valid right?

What do I mean? The tactic of comparing the numbers for someone on who at that point cited was in office for over 2200 days with someone who has been in office (as of today) 854 days.

There are other facts that skew your comparison as well that you conveniently ignored, forgot or failed to take into account because they make your side look good as well which I will now be forced to get into in my next last word to show just how big a turd you tried to pass off as the truth.

You want to debate us come with HONEST AND ACCURATE facts figures and information like a gentleman of integrity.

Don wants to put Obama’s numbers up against Bush’s. OK lets talk factual numbers on a LEVEL AND EQUAL field shall we? (I’ll bet those words have urine running down liberal legs all over right now!)

Lets get a simple one out of the way first shall we?

Let’s compare Presidential impact on the National Debit.

Bush in 8 years increased our National Debt $4.9 trillion. (Now doing a little math $4.9 trillion/8 years in office= $0.635 trillion per year).

Obama in his first 19 months in office increased the National Debt by $2.5260 trillion (or at a rate of  1.595 Trillion/ yr or better than 2.5 times the rate of Bush)!

Humm..interesting. How about another simple comparison before we get on to the hard stuff?

Let’s compare Presidential Golf Outings

Oh look! Someone has already done this one for us!

Obama ties Bush on golf
By: Patrick Gavin
October 25, 2009 09:33 PM EST Updated: October 25, 2009 09:36 PM EST

President Barack Obama has only been in office for just over nine months, but he’s already hit the links as much as President Bush did in over two years.
CBS’ Mark Knoller — an unofficial documentarian and statistician of all things White House-related — wrote on his Twitter feed that, “Today – Obama ties Pres. Bush in the number of rounds of golf played in office: 24.
Took Bush 2 yrs & 10 months.”

That’s 34 months for you math challenged ones out there, or roughly 4 times longer. The last round Bush played was on Oct. 13, 2003. President Bush has since explained that he stopped playing golf out of respect for the families of Americans killed in the war in Iraq.

 I think you are already getting the idea but for the sake of the slow on the uptake liberals with the nearly flat learning curves lets look at a few more cases shall we?

Presidential Travel

Bush Number Of Out Of Town Domestic Trips: 609 (in 8 years or approximately 76/yr.)

Obama made 65 domestic trips over 104 days

Bush Number Of Foreign Trips: 49 (in 8 years or approximately 6/yr. )

Obama six trips to eight countries in one year

Now before we continue we need to correct the blatant liberal lie espoused by Don.

As of January 20th 2010 Bush spent a grand total of 2920 days in office as President. According to the aforementioned Mark Knoller who is the CBS White House Reporter and an unofficial documentarian and statistician of all things White House-related, in those 2920 days Bush spent NOT 854 days but roughly 55% of that number,only all or part of 490 days, or roughly 60 days a year at his Crawford, Texas ranch. I would also point out that in those 490 days, President Bush hosted 20 Foreign Leader Visits including 2 by King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia (Crown Prince at the time) and 2 by President Vicente Fox of Mexico.

Those don’t sound like vacations to me. plus I might point out that the Crawford Ranch already had a Secret Service presence and Presidential Level security which we were paying for regardless if he was there or not. Lets contrast that with Obamas flying all over the place trying to push his bullshit coated agendas down everyone’s throats for just one minute and ask which cost more to do not even considering the cost of flight time.

Bush also spent all or part of 487 days at Camp David, a place which I might add my remarks regarding security in Crawford applies to equally. It’s also a HELL of a lot closer to the White House than Chicago or Hawaii. Number Of Foreign Leader Visits To Camp David: 19, including 3 by British Prime Minister Tony Blair and 2 by Crown Prince Mohammed bin Zayed al Nahyan of Abu Dhabi, UAE.

Again doesn’t sound particularly vacation like to me! I’d also hazard a guess that a significant amount of planning for the “War on Terror” took place there because it was beyond the reach of the prying eyes and ears of the White House Press Corps.

The point is Don and the rest of you liberals out there, if you want to make comments of an opposing opinion nature, you are welcome and we in fact look forward to intelligent, factual and accurate discourse. By and large we are usually disappointed in this area but that’s how it goes, I fear it’s the nature of being either too far left or right of a Centrist position. It would seem the farther in any direction one ventures for Centrist the narrow the point of view and the more closed the mind to anything other than the view in your direction.Sadly there was a time ion the not so distant past this was not the case, I fear now that the era of civil discourse over opposing views with an eye towards compromise and solutions acceptable to all is swiftly going the way of the Dodo bird.

HOWEVER if you Democrats and Liberal think you can shovel bullshit at us and tell us it’s roses by misquoting, taking out of context, using facts known to be in error or comparing apples and oranges you are SERIOUSLY mistaken. We CAN and WILL gleefully and joyfully hand you your ass & head as we point out your deceptions and lies all the while making you look like the incompetent bungling fools you take us for.

Bibliography of facts shown here

CBS News White House Correspondent Mark Knoller Offers A Numerical Assessment of the Bush Presidency
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/01/19/politics/bush_legacy/main4735360.shtml

487 Days At Camp David For Bush

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-4728085-503544.html

 

Good Morning Campers!  Welcome to Political Tuesday. I honestly didn’t plan on it working out this way, but it seems you guys have an awful lot of politics on your mind, so we are going to show a good portion of what you campers have sent in to our in-box.

We also have a chance today to feature the comic work of Chad Carpenter and his Tundra cartoons.  I’m SURE when you see them that you will recognize them.  His art has graced our pages in the past and I’m sure they will again in the future.  On Chad’s website, http://www.tundracomics.com/default.asp you will find humor from one end to the other.  Just click on his “About Chad Carpenter” link on the left panel and here’s just a tiny sample of some of the hilarity on his site:
Chad was born at an early age. Abandoned by his parents on his 20th birthday, he was forced to wander aimlessly in his neighbors backyard. It was there that he was adopted by a pack of friendly ground squirrels and taught the ways of small rodents. Subsisting mainly on grass, seeds and insects, Chad grew and grew, Until one day, the neighbor finally got sick of the huge holes Chad was digging in his rose garden and had him leave the state. Thus in 1988, Chad moved from his home in Alaska to Sarasota, Florida where he had the nice opportunity to learn some of the cartooning tricks of the trade from “Hagar the Horrible” creator Dik Browne.  
You just gotta love this stuff!

There ought to be enough funny stuff sprinkled amongst the political stuff to keep you humor purists happy, and there ought to be enough political stuff to get you ranters up and growling.  So, grab a cup of coffee, sit back and prepare to laugh or scream…purely your choice.  (Kinda sounds like my sex life….they either laugh or scream…okay, so that was pretty bad, but I had to….it was just too fitting.  Okay, go on, get moving.  Nothing to see here…)

From our dear friend and fellow camper K²… this may be an oldie, but it sure is a goodie…

Cletus is passing by Billy Bob’s hay barn one day when, through a gap
in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front
of an old green John Deere.

Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides
off first the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He then
hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his
overalls fall down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt.
Then, grabbing both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his
stained T-shirt underneath. With a final flourish, he tears the T-shirt from
his body, and hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.

Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says, “What the heck’re ya
doing, Billy Bob?”

“Good Lord, Cletus, ya scared the bejeezers out of me,” says an

obviously embarrassed Billy Bob. “But me ‘n the Ol’ Lady been havin’

trouble lately in the bedroom d’partment, and the therapist suggested

I do something sexy to a tractor.”

[Don’t make me come ‘splain this to you! Read the last line again, slowly.]

In the sleepy village of Erbum , in the town of Tillet, Hertfordshire lives a lady by the name Linda Lykes. She owns the local pub called The Cock Inn. Her mail is addressed:

Linda Lykes
The Cock Inn
ERBUM
Tillet, Herts

Borders: Closed…

Language: English only...

Culture: Constitution, and the Bill of Rights!!!

Drug Free: Make a drug screen mandatory

for anyone on welfare and/or food stamps!

NO freebies to Non-Citizens!

We, the people, are coming!

 

A Man Test

You must give this test a try. Very revealing for men.

As you age your powers of concentration are diminished. This seems to affect men more than women. Men’s degree of loss can be determined by the test below.

Click on test.

test

Questions You Can Never Answer

– Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

– Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

– Why do banks charge a fee on ‘insufficient funds’ when they know there is not enough money in the account?

– What is the speed of darkness?

– Why is it that people say they ‘slept like a baby’ when babies wake up every two hours?

– If the temperature is zero outside today and it’s going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

– Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

– How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

– Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Did you ever stop and wonder…

– Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, ‘I think I’ll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?’

– Who was the first person to say, ‘See that chicken there… I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its ass.’

– Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

– Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

– Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

– Why does your Obstetrician, Gynecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

– Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!

– If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

– If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

– If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

– Why do the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on………

– Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

– Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

– Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Oliver North: Obama’s Mideast Tack ‘Deadly Mistake’

Friday, 20 May 2011 11:55 AM

By Henry J. Reske and Kathleen Walter

President Barack Obama’s prescription for peace in the Middle East could be a deadly mistake for the United States, retired Marine Lt. Col. Oliver North tells Newsmax.TV.

The former National Security Council member was commenting on Obama’s speech at the State Department where he laid out his vision for the Mideast after the killing of Osama bin Laden and the struggles for reform in the region that have rocked long-established regimes in countries such as Egypt and Libya.

“I think we ought to look very carefully at a very naïve, utopian idea for how the world works,” North said. “And the idea of stepping back, as Mr. Obama has done, from a leadership position when we are the world’s superpower is a deadly mistake for the United States. It offers opportunities for our adversaries and makes our allies very insecure.”

Obama devoted a major portion of his speech to Israel and pushed for the country to negotiate a peace agreement with the Palestinians. The president endorsed a key and controversial Palestinian demand that borders for a Palestinian state be based on the national boundaries that existed before the 1967 Six Day War when Israel occupied East Jerusalem, the West Bank and Gaza.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, who is to meet with Obama at the White House Friday, quickly rejected the idea, calling the 1967 lines “indefensible.” North characterized the idea as something “Jimmy Carter could be proud of.”

“What he obviously intends to do is to try to build on whatever momentum he has in the Arab world, the Muslim world, by attacking America’s only ally in that part of the world, the only real democracy in that part of the world and that’s Israel by pressuring them on the 1967 border issue,” North said. “It’s been around since Jimmy Carter and obviously he’s returned to that same political philosophy.”

North also questioned the wisdom of putting forth such a proposal the day before Netanyahu’s visit to the United States.

“To do this on the eve of Netanyahu’s visit to the United States clearly shows this man’s ego, and I’m talking about Mr. Obama’s, and his willingness to savage, as I call it, the only ally we’ve got in that part of the world,” North said.

On other topics, North said:

• Obama considers the death of Osama bin Laden to be “the game changer” in the region but it is “anything but clear that the outcome of what’s transpired in Egypt or what’s going on today in Syria or anything’s that’s happened in Bahrain or Yemen is going to end up in with positive change for the people.”
• The president sees the war on terror coming to an end and that view will be reflected as the budget process moves forward. “I think you’re going to see dramatic cuts to America’s defense posture . . . If you abandon everything out there, pull out of Iraq in its entirety and cut down to nothing in Afghanistan over the course of the next three years, you could end up with Iranian hegemony over that entire part of the world. That’s not good for anybody and it’s certainly a threat for those allies we do have in the Persian Gulf.” Seems to me that’s probably the whole idea!
• That the situation is Iran is not yet a second U.S. missile crisis but Iran will exploit every opportunity they have, making deals with China for missile hardware and North Koreans to get nuclear weapons equipment, technology and know-how. “There no doubt we have adversaries in that region.”
• That Syria will not transform itself overnight. The regime’s goal is to maintain itself and they are doing everything they can to repress the people who want self-determination.

http://www.newsmax.com/InsideCover/OliverNorth-Obama-Mideast-Israel/2011/05/20/id/397126?s=al&promo_code=C4E4-1

The lady was a Southern Baptist who attended services and taught Sunday School every week.
On one Sunday, an out of town acquaintance, a gentleman, was in the pew right behind her. He noted what a fine looking woman she was..

While they were taking up the collection, the man leaned forward and said, “Hey, how about you and I having dinner on Tuesday?”

“Why yes, that would be nice,” the lady responded.

Well, the gentleman couldn’t believe his luck. On Tuesday he picked the lady up and took her to the finest restaurant in that part of South Carolina . When they sat down, the gentleman looked over at her and suggested, “Would you like a cocktail before dinner?”

“Oh, no,” said our circumspect fine example of southern womanhood, “What ever would I tell my Sunday School class?”

Well, our gentleman was set back a bit, so he didn’t say much until after dinner, when he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and asked, “Would you like a smoke?”

“Oh my goodness no,” said the woman. “I couldn’t face my Sunday School class if I did?”

Well, our boy felt pretty low after that, so they left, got in his car and as he was driving the lady home, they passed the local Holiday Inn. He’d been morally rebuffed twice already, so he figured he had nothing to lose so he ventured forth with, “Ahhh .. Mmmm…. how would you like to stop at this motel?”

“Sure, that would be nice,” she said .

The gentleman couldn’t believe his ears, and did a fast u-turn right then and there, and drove back to the motel and checked in.

The next morning, after a wild and passionate night of the most incredible sex and perversions imaginable, the gentleman awoke first. He looked at the lovely Dixie darling lying there in the bed and with remorse thought, “What the hell have I done? He shook her awake and pleaded, “I’ve got to ask you one thing, whatever are you going to tell your Sunday School class?”

The lady said, “The same thing I always tell them. You don’t have to smoke and drink to have a good time.”

Okay, well, Political Tuesday, I guess….lots of politics in today’s issue, and here’s a bit more.  I’m not sure I see the same things that Mychal sees, but I appreciate his opinion, just the same.

When will Obama crack in public?
Posted: April 19, 2011
By Mychal Massie

At a time when many Americans can barely afford Burger King and a movie, Obama boasts of spending a billion dollars on his re-election campaign. Questioned at a recent appearance about the spiraling fuel costs, Obama said, “Get used to it” – and with an insouciant grin and chortle, he told another person at the event, who complained about the effect high fuel prices were having on his family, to “get a more fuel-efficient car.”

The Obamas behave as if they were sharecroppers living in a trailer and hit the Powerball, but instead of getting new tires for their trailer and a new pickup truck, they moved to Washington . And instead of making possum pie, with goats and chickens in the front yard, they’re spending and living large at taxpayer expense – opulent vacations, gala balls, resplendent dinners and exclusive command performances at the White House, grand date nights, golf, basketball, more golf, exclusive resorts and still more golf.

Expensive, ill-fitting and ill-chosen wigs and fashions hardly befit the first lady of the United States . The Obamas have behaved in every way but presidential – which is why it’s so offensive when we hear Obama say, in order “to restore fiscal responsibility, we all need to share in the sacrifice – but we don’t have to sacrifice the America we believe in.”

The American people have been sacrificing; it is he and his family who are behaving as if they’ve never had two nickels to rub together – and now, having hit the mother lode, they’re going to spend away their feelings of inadequacy at the taxpayers’ expense.

Obama continues to exhibit behavior that, at best, can be described as mobocratic and, at worst, reveals a deeply damaged individual. In a February 2010 column, I asked, “Is Obama unraveling?” I wrote that it was beginning to appear the growing mistrust of him and contempt for his policies was beginning to have a destabilizing effect on him.

At that time, I wrote that not having things go one’s way can be a bitter pill, but reasonable people don’t behave as he was behaving. He had insulted Republicans at their luncheon, where he had been an invited guest. I had speculated that was, in part, what had led him to falsely accuse Supreme Court justices before Congress, the nation and the world, during the 2010 State of the Union address.

It appeared, at that time, as if he were “fraying around the emotional edges.” That behavior has not abated – it has become more pronounced. While addressing the nation, after being forced to explain the validity of his unilateral aggression with Libya, America witnessed a petulant individual scowling and scolding the public for daring to insist he explain his actions.

But during an afternoon speech to address the budget/debt, he took his scornful, unstable despotic behavior to depths that should give the nation cause for concern. Displaying a dark psychopathy more representative of an episode of “The Tudors” television series, he invited Rep. Paul Ryan, R-Wis., to sit in the front row during his speech and then proceeded to berate both Ryan and Ryan’s budget-cutting plan. Even liberal Democrats were put off by the act. MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough questioned the sanity of Obama’s actions.

Today, criticism is coming from all sides. A senior Democrat lawmaker said, “I have been very disappointed in [Obama], to the point where I’m embarrassed that I endorsed him. It’s so bad that some of us are thinking, is there some way we can replace him? How do you get rid of this guy?” (“Democrats’ Disgust with Obama,” The Daily Beast, April 15, 2011)

Steve McCann wrote: Obama’s speech “was chock full of lies, deceit and crass fear-mongering. It must be said that [he] is the most dishonest, deceitful and mendacious person in a position of power I have ever witnessed” (“The Mendacity of Barack Obama,” AmericanThinker.com, April 15, 2011).

McCann continued: “[His] performance was the culmination of four years of outright lies and narcissism that have been largely ignored by the media, including some in the conservative press and political class who are loath to call [him] what he is in the bluntest of terms: a liar and a fraud. That he relies on his skin color to intimidate, either outright or by insinuation [against] those who oppose his radical agenda only add to his audacity. It is apparent that he has gotten away with his character flaws his entire life, aided and abetted by sycophants around him.

With these being among the kinder rebukes being directed at Obama, and with people becoming less intimidated by his willingness to use race as a bludgeon, with falling poll numbers in every meaningful category and an increasingly aggressive tea-party opposition – how much longer before he cracks completely?

The coming months of political life are not going to be pleasant for Obama. Possessed by a self-perceived palatine mindset, that in his mind places him above criticism, how long before he cracks in public? Can America risk a man with a documented track record of lying and misrepresenting truth as a basic way of life, who is becoming increasingly more contumelious?

Mychal Massie is chairman of the National Leadership Network of Black Conservatives-Project 21 – a conservative black think tank located in Washington, D.C. He was recognized as the 2008 Conservative Man of the Year by the Conservative Party of Suffolk County , N.Y. He is a nationally recognized political activist, pundit and columnist. He has appeared on Fox News Channel, CNN, MSNBC, C-SPAN, NBC, Comcast Cable and talk radio programming nationwide. A former self-employed business owner of more than 30 years, Massie can be followed at mychal-massie.com.

“Okay, don’t shoot…I took the tuna fish sandwich.”

Another oldie, but goodie….you kinda see it coming, but it’s well written and eternally funny

THE DIFFERENCE IF YOU MARRY AN AUSTRALIAN GIRL

Three friends married women from different parts of the world…..

The first man married a Greek girl. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

The second man married a Thai. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn’t see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man married a girl from Australia . He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn’t see anything, the second day he didn’t see anything either but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he pees.

 

Yeah, I know, more politics….sigh….but it’s what you guys are sending me.

Walter E. Williams, (born 1936 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania) is a conservative American economist, commentator, and academic. He is the John M Olin Distinguished Professor of Economics at George Mason University, as well as a syndicated columnist and author.

Can President Obama be defeated in 2012? No. He can’t.

I am going on record as saying that President Barak Obama will win a second term. The media won’t tell you this because a good election campaign means hundreds of millions (or in Obama’s case billions) of dollars to them in advertising. But the truth is, there simply are no conditions under which Barak Obama can be defeated in 2012.

The quality of the Republican candidate doesn’t matter. Obama gets reelected.

Nine percent unemployment? No problem. Obama will win.

Gas prices moving toward five dollars a gallon? He still wins.

The economy soars or goes into the gutter. Obama wins.

War in the Middle East? He wins a second term.

America‘s role as the leading Superpower disappears? Hurrah for Barak Obama!

The U.S. government rushes toward bankruptcy, the dollar continues to sink on world markets and the price of daily goods and services soars due to inflation fueled by Obama’s extraordinary deficit spending? Obama wins handily.

You are crazy Williams. Don’t you understand how volatile politics can be when overall economic, government, and world conditions are declining? Sure I do. And that’s why I know Obama will win.

The American people are notoriously ignorant of economics. And economics is the key to why Obama should be defeated. Even when Obama’s policies lead the nation to final ruin, the majority of the American people are going to believe the bait-and-switch tactics Obama and his supporters in the media will use to explain why it isn’t his fault. After all, things were much worse than understood when he took office.

Obama’s reelection is really a very, very simple math problem. Consider the following:

1) Blacks will vote for Obama blindly. Period. Doesn’t matter what he does. It’s a race thing.

2) College educated women will vote for Obama. Though they will be offended by this, they swoon at his oratory. It’s really not more complex than that,

3) Liberals will vote for Obama. He is their great hope,

4) Democrats will vote for Obama. He is the leader of their party and his coattails will carry them to victory nationwide,

5) Hispanics will vote for Obama. He is the path to citizenship for those who are illegal and Hispanic leaders recognize the political clout they carry in the Democratic Party,

6) Union members will vote overwhelmingly for Obama. He is their key to money and power in business, state and local politics,

7) Big Business will support Obama. They already have. He has almost $1 Billion dollars in his reelection purse gained largely from his connections with Big Business and is gaining more everyday. Big Business loves Obama because he gives them access to taxpayer money so long as they support his social and political agenda,

8) The media love him. They may attack the people who work for him, but they love him. After all… to not love him would be racist,

9) Most other minorities and special interest groups will vote for him. Oddly, the overwhelming majority of Jews and Muslims will support him because they won’t vote Republican. American Indians will support him. Obviously homosexuals tend to vote Democratic. And lastly,

10) Approximately half of independents will vote for Obama. And he doesn’t need anywhere near that number because he has all of the groups previously mentioned. The President will win an overwhelming victory in 2012.

— Dr. Walter E. Williams, George Mason University

A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end, there were two little baby boys.

The blond guy turned to his wife and angrily said, “All right, who’s the other father!?!”

(Or, as we also like to call this section…”What the hell is that??!!”)

Okay, the picture is cool, but that is one FANTASTIC job of Photoshop.  The shadows are right, the lower lid actually extends outward to accommodate the fingers.  Really great job!

Arnold got his prescription for Viagra, and goes home to get ready for when his wife gets home. He calls her on the phone, and says, “I’ll be home in an hour. ” “Perfect, ” she replies. Arnold thinks about her statement and because the Doctor told him to take his Viagra an hour before, he takes the Viagra and waits. Well, and hour goes by, Arnold is ready to go, but no wife? She calls him on the phone and she says, “Traffic is terrible. I won’t be there for about an hour and a half. ” Arnold, frustrated, calls his Doctor for advice. “What should I do? ” he asks. The Doctor replied, “It would be a shame to waste it. Do you have a housekeeper around? ” “Yes” Arnold replied. “Well, maybe you can occupy yourself with her instead? ” said the Doctor. Arnold then replied with dismay, “But I don’t need Viagra with the housekeeper! “

Farmer Brown’s son George went to the big city to make his fortune. He became a stockbroker, and following the recent market crash, he found himself reduced to shining shoes for a living. At the same time, a run of unusually good weather resulted in an abundance of late hay on the farm. So, in this story, the farmer makes hay, while the son shines.

I recently received this email from one of my favorite, most adorable friend, fan, and funny girl.  She is not one to pull a punch and she jumped right in at me. 

When you say-

-WHY IS VIRTUALLY THE ENTIRE FRIGGIN’ COUNTRY STANDING AROUND WITH STUPID LOOKS ON THEIR FACES LIKE SHEEP IN LINE FOR THE SLAUGHTER???

As a single individual…we think…”who listens”…then we came up with the tea party & that’s not quite the answer either. There’s no dynamic leader wanting to run…you & I aren’t volunteering either so what is the answer? What do you suggest I do with the stupid look on my face? Voting wasn’t the answer either so is there a way that you’re keeping secret & the rest of us haven’t caught on?

I don’t really have a good answer for you my friend.  Trust me when I tell you that if I had a secret answer, I would be more than happy to make it un-secret as soon as I could.  The manner in which I chose to try is what you are reading right here.  We have 416 active subscribers (which is odd because it seems that no matter how many people subscribe, that number never changes) (anyway) we have another 150 (more or less) who read the site on line without subscribing.  So, here’s an audience of about 600 people who are, at least, exposed to the things that we think are important. It took a long time.  I’ve been doing Dragon Laffs in one form or another for over 10 years.  We had over 1000 subscribers, but lost a lot of them when we went to this format.  But, I’m rambling…. here’s what I decided to do (in answer to your question) intersperse my opinion with my humor and the humor of the campers who read Dragon Laffs.  We also include the comments and opinions of the campers, even when those opinions are nothing more than name calling.

It’s not a lot.

But it’s something.

Now, think if ALL of us found a pulpit, soapbox or park fountain to stand on and rant.  And then all those people who we are addressing went and got their own podium … electronic or otherwise…think of the noise we could make. 

Think of the attention we could draw.

Bigger things have started with smaller groups.

What else can you do?

I don’t know dear friend.  I do know that you have a wonderful imagination, strong integrity, honest and deep intelligence, and a loving and caring heart.  What can you do?

You can give a damn.

You can get your friends, family, and neighbors to give a damn.

You can get your friends, family, and neighbor’s friends, family, and neighbors to give a damn.

You can do your best to wipe the stupid sheep look off as many faces as possible. 

Let’s ALL try to give the sheep the heart of a dragon!!! 

 

Rate this:

LeprechaunLaffs with the

 

  The  LethalLeprechaun

 

   Celtic, Crass, Comedic

Someone asked what went through our minds first thing in the Morning. While I cannot speak for Impish (either what goes through his mind or if he even HAS one) this is what scrolls down the inside of my eyeballs starting about 15 seconds after I roll over, sit up, stop sounding like a box of Rice Krispies someone just poured a quart of 2% milk into and get my glasses on my face. This holds particularly true for Mondays when everything seems to start out/up begrudgingly.

 

LET’S SLURP IT IF YOU GOT IT AND LAUGH!

Church Social

The minister announced that admission to a church social event would
be six dollars per person.

“However, if you’re over 65,” he said, “the price will be only $5.50.”
 
From the back of the congregation, a woman’s voice rang out, “Do you
really think I’d give you that information for only fifty cents?”

CDC prepares for Zombie Apocalypse: tips on how to survive

Nope your reading that right, The Center of Disease Control is providing tips on surviving the impending Zombie Apocalypse (my guess is this refers to the mass migration of brainless mindless liberal lemmings to the polls to re-elect Obama)

It’s been Zombie Awareness month in May, but the impending Rapture distracted us from our duty in informing the public on what they should do in the event that zombies attack.

Thankfully, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, yes the government-run CDC, has stepped up to remind us all: we need to prepare for the Zombie Apocalypse. By Melissa Bell http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/blogpost/post/cdc-prepares-for-zombie-apocalypse-tips-on-how-to-survive/2011/05/19/AFHPqD7G_blog.html

 

Prepared for a #zombie apocalypse? If so, you’re prepared for any emergency. Learn how: CDC PH Matters blog http://t.co/8DwUCVd

That’s so like our government to leave a job half done. OK, I admit, it IS surprising that the CDC, a governmental agency, has apparently come out to warn of an impending invasion by mindless liberals and democrats with only two things on the “minds”- spending your money and getting Obama re-elected. However isn’t it typical that they fall short and fail to warn us of the all ready in progress Vampire invasion of blood sucking entitlement minded freeloaders and illegal immigrants who are sinking their fangs in our wallets in an attempt to bleed us dry under the disguise of social awareness?

ACTUALLY someone at the CDC has decided to attempt to lighten up their usually rather dry posts about emergency readiness kits and personal disaster kits and get more young people to read and follow their advice in a humorous way.

Still the thought of an invasion of zombie liberals is going to give me nightmares for weeks to come, thanks CDC!

 

Bizarre Newspaper Headlines

Cause of AIDS Found – Scientists
Doctor Testifies in Horse Suit
City May Impose Mandatory Time for Prostitution
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Axe
Grandmother of Eight Makes Hole in One
Kicking Baby Considered to Be Healthy
Why You Want Sex Changes With Age
Boys Cause As Many Pregnancies As Girls
Cemetery Allows People to be Buried by Their Pets
Man Held Over Giant L.A. Brush Fire
Antique Stripper to Demonstrate Wares at Store
Sudden Rush to Help People Out of Work
Deadline Passes for Striking Police

THE TOILET SEAT

Charlie’s wife, Lucy, had been after him for several weeks to paint the
seat on their toilet. Finally, he got around to doing it while Lucy was
out. After finishing, he left to take care of another matter before she
returned. She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting
in the shower, she sat on the toilet. As she tried to stand up, she
realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the toilet
seat. About that time, Charlie got home and realized her predicament.
They both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever. Finally, in
desperation, Charlie undid the toilet seat bolts. Lucy wrapped a sheet
around herself and Charlie drove her to the hospital emergency room.
The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free
her (Try to get a mental picture of this.). Lucy tried to lighten the
embarrassment of it all by saying, “Well, Doctor, I’ll bet you’ve never
seen anything like this before.” The Doctor replied, “Actually, I’ve
seen lots of them. I just never saw one mounted and framed.”

 

 

 

Absolut Lemonade

Ingredients:
3/4 oz. Amaretto
3/4 oz. Absolut Citron Vodka
2 oz. Sour Mix
1 splash Sprite
 
Glass to Use: Beer Pint
 
Directions:
Pour all ingredients into a pint glass filled with ice.

Wonder why you didn’t do this earlier.

Down south, Bubba called his attorney and asked, ‘Is It true theys suin them cigarette companies fer causin people to git cancer?’

‘Yes, Bubba, sure is true,’ responded the lawyer.

‘And now someone is suin them fast food restaurants fer makin them fat an cloggin their arteries with all them burgers an fries, is that true, Mista Lawyer?’

‘Sure is, Bubba.’

‘And that lady sued McDonalds for millions when she was gave that hot coffee that she ordered?’

‘Yep.’

‘And that football player sued that university when he graduaided and still couldn’t read?’

‘That’s right,’ said the lawyer.’ ‘But why are you asking?’

‘Well, I was thinkin… What I want to know is, kin I sue Budweiser fer all them ugly women I slept with?’

 

Today’s Last Word comes courtesy of a non reader friend of mine (gasp!) Yes, I know, its terrible that people should needlessly suffer in ignorance of this great blog. I have tried to get him to lay down his burden but he just won’t heed my advice. Sad a fact as it maybe there are just those out there who refuse to listen to the voice of reason, usually we call them liberals.

Last year Obama flew in Air Force One 172 times, almost every other day.

White House officials have been telling reporters in recent days that the Democrat doesn’t intend to hang around the White House quite so much in 2011. They explain he wants to get out more around the country because, as everyone knows, that midterm election shellacking on Nov. 2 had nothing to do with his health care bill, over-spending or other policies, and everything to do with Obama’s not adequately explaining himself to his countrymen and women.

And with only 673 days remaining in Obama’s never ending presidential campaign, the incumbent’s travel pace will not likely slacken.

At an Air Force-estimated cost of $181,757 per flight HOUR (not to mention the additional travel costs of Marine One, Secret Service, logistics and local police overtime), that’s a lot of frequent flier dollars going into Obama’s carbon footprint.

We are privy to some of these numbers thanks to CBS’ Mark Knoller, a bearded national treasure trove of presidential stats. According to Knoller’s copious notes, during the last year, Obama made 65 domestic trips over 104 days, and six trips to eight countries over 22 days. Not counting six vacation trips over 32 days.

He took 196 helicopter trips, signed 203 pieces of legislation and squeezed in 29 rounds of left-handed golf.

Obama last year gave 491 speeches, remarks or statements. That’s more talking than goes on in some entire families, at least from fatherly mouths.

In fact, even including the 24 days of 2010 that we never saw Obama in public, his speaking works out to about one official utterance every 11 waking hours. Aides indicate the “Real Good Talker” believes we need more.

Related: Obama spends nearly half his presidency outside Washington, plans to travel more

Related: Vacationer-in-Chief Spends $1.75 Million to Visit Hawaiian Chums

Obama has spent over $100 million taxpayer dollars flying around in Air Force One, and probably another $100 million on his entourage. Obama is just another tin-pot dictator living lavishly at the expense of his subjects.

And we seniors have to “tighten our belts” because we aren’t getting a COLA again this year… and none last year!

THANKS TO ALL WHO HELPED PUT THIS GREEDY WINDBAG IN OFFICE!! BE MORE CAREFUL NEXT TIME!!

Saturday Morning.  Don’t know why, but I’ve been up since 0200 hrs.  I have to work today, so the day just keeps getting better and better.  We have to do something to fix that, so I thought….yes, I actually said I thought … I know some of you (Lethal) actually consider that statement an oxymoron, but I digress…. I thought that today would be a REALLY GOOD day to laff.
And for those of you who were expecting an obligatory Rapture crack…. don’t be disappointed … check today’s Last Word.

Now….

I know it’s wrong to start the day off with such an incredibly bad joke, but it’s Saturday and you guys should be able to recover well enough to keep reading.  This one is from our own Stephanie….she keeps this up and she is going to need her own banner….like Zack.

Scientists at MIT have reportedly announced that they have discovered a new species of weevil that feeds solely on the cotton fibers in men’s shorts. The researchers have no idea where the species originated, and are appealing to the general public, as well as the rest of the scientific community for any information that would help identify the insect. They are anxious to identify what weevil lurks in the shorts of men.

And yet another…

They just arrested a fellow who talks dirty to plants.
Caught him making an obscene fern call.

Unabashedly stolen from Jumbojoke.com

The Arnold Schwarzenegger Affair

News Item: Arnold Schwarzenegger waited until after his term as governor of California ended to tell his wife that he had fathered a child with one of their “household staff” members — ten years before. She left him.

With that, we offer a Jumbo Joke original…

Saying that he now has Total Recall, Arnold Schwarzenegger told his wife Maria Shriver that he was done telling True Lies, and gave her The Rundown. He promised that the household servant was positively his Last Action Hero. He said he had been taking care of Junior financially because the woman had refused his Eraser proposal. The Villain was just grateful she didn’t have Twins.

By The 6th Day after her husband’s confession, Maria had embarked on The Long Goodbye toward the End of Days — “Who’s the Terminator now, bucko?” she said before slamming the door behind her.

The governor’s mistress, referred to in reports only as “Red Sonja” (who attracted Ahnold in the first place by going Commando around the mansion), insists the governor was a Predator who was often in Red Heataround her. Still, she had to admit she enjoyed his favorite bedtime game,Around the World in 80 Days, and said the 63-year-old governor was still capable of Pumping Iron.

Schwarzenegger’s reputation is in shambles, and he claims he has gotten a Raw Deal. He has become a Running Man who can’t seem to get anyone to answer his calls. His career in shambles, it seems the only job he qualifies for now is as a Kindergarten Cop.

One-Liners

The last thing I want to do is hurt you.  But it’s still on the list.  
  
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.  
  
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.  
  
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?  
  
Women will never be equal to men till they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they’re sexy.  
   
You don’t need a parachute to skydive, but you do need one to skydive again. 
  
The voices in my head may be fake, but they have good ideas!  
  
Hospitality is making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.  
    
Some cause happiness wherever they go, others  whenever  they go.  
  
There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.  

From our dear fellow camper, Jeannie…

Good thing Mr. Williams is black or this would be “racist.” He’d be “pickin’ on the po’ people and illegals.”

Walter E Williams – What is a Right?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrT0kBeld3Q&feature=player_embedded#at=51

This is sooooo cool…

Pendulum Waves

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVkdfJ9PkRQ

Now, the same thing (kinda) from above
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yIkyPFLkNCQ&NR=1

An excellent day for an exorcism
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGb8pMIeY6w&feature=email

My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 am this morning, can you believe that….. 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.

Man calls 911 and says “I think my wife is dead” The operator says how do you know? He says “The sex is the same but the ironing is building up!”

I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said “You’re pulling my leg.”

I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she was poor – she only had $1.20 in her purse.

My girlfriend thinks that I’m a stalker. Well, she’s not exactly my girlfriend yet.

Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my ass! Do you think I should change dentists?

A wife says to her husband you’re always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You’re in a wheel chair.

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, “You‘re obviously not listening.”

The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the thrift shop to get all her clothes back.

They say this is a mentos and coke trick that backfired…. I don’t know….I think it worked out just perfect!
http://www.flabber.nl/linkdump/video/cola-mentos-backfired-8250

The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson

• As an American, I am relieved that Donald Trump is not running for president. But as a vulgar late night entertainer, I feel a certain amount of regret.
• Trump is out, and Mike Huckabee is out. At this point, the only person that could derail President Obama’s re-election is Joe Biden.
• After borrowing money for years, we hit the magic number: $14.3 trillion. It’s the maximum amount the government is allowed to borrow. Our credit card is maxed out.
• Our creditors include the Chinese government, the Japanese government, and a guy named Vinnie the Fist.  Hey!  I know Vinnie!  He works for Lethal Leprechaun.  

Late Night With Jimmy Fallon

• Disney is trademarking the phrase “SEAL Team 6,” after the team that took down Osama bin Laden. Yeah, cause when they shot bin Laden, captured his wives and found his porn, I was like, “This would make a great Disney movie.”
• In a new interview, President Obama said that killing Osama bin Laden does not secure his 2012 re-election. Yeah, that’s been taken care of by the current field of Republicans.  Yeah, ain’t that the truth!

And just so you don’t think the “King” has left the building….here’s a real stinker by Zack:

IMPORTANT NOTICE: Ford Motor Corp. has just instituted the
largest car recall in history…..all Mercury automobiles ever built have been recalled……it seems some of them may contain tuna fish.

On the border of Tennessee and Georgia there’s a small forest. Half of the forest belongs to a Tennessee farmer, while the other half belongs to a Georgia man.

One day, while out for a walk in the woods, the Tennessee man comes across a coyote caught in a trap. He rushes back to his house and calls his Georgia neighbor.

“There’s one of your coyotes caught in a trap on my side of the forest.”

“How do you know it’s one of *our* coyotes?” the Georgia farmer asked.

“Well,” the Tennessee replied, “he’s already chewed off three of his legs and he’s still trapped.”

“The death of Osama bin Laden last Sunday has apparently damaged our relationship with al Qaeda. Al Qaeda has released a statement vowing to make America pay for bin Laden’s death. Which – I’m pretty sure we did pay for his death. We paid for the whole thing and even took care of the funeral arrangements. Maybe a thank you would be nice.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“Osama Bin Laden’s supporters want to rename the Arabian Sea where his body was dumped Martyr Sea. Really? Martyr Sea? Hiding in your bedroom for six years? How about Chicken of the Sea?” –Jay Leno

“Osama bin Laden is in the ocean. How ironic. Once again surrounded by seals.” –Jay Leno

“Osama bin Laden had money and telephone numbers sewn into his clothes. Apparently we got him just as he was on his way to summer camp.” -Jay Leno

“How about those Navy Seals. We’re getting our money’s worth there. They broke into Osama bin Laden’s compound with 12-foot walls topped by barbed wire, and fired a warning shot into his head.” –David Letterman

“Apparently, members of Al Qaeda are online slamming the U.S. I don’t understand why they’re so upset. Everyone in Al Qaeda just got a promotion.” –Craig Ferguson

“Osama bin Laden was apparently shot twice in the face. It looks like Dick Cheney may have been involved.” –Jay Leno

“Bin Laden lived in this compound in Pakistan with all of his wives for 6 years. So he did suffer.” –David Letterman

“Bin Laden’s wives didn’t have it too bad………by looking at the pictures of the inside of the compound, it doesn’t look like any of them EVER had to do housework”.

Well, according to some, today is the last day.  The Rapture will begin sometime today and all the righteous will be taken to Heaven.  Were it just that simple.  All of the God fearing Believers in Christ are snatched up and get to watch from above as the pagans, radicals, socialists and evil doers fight it out here on earth.  See, there’s a joke, right here, about all us good campers going to Heaven and all the democratic Obamaphites staying here… but I didn’t go there.  Nope, not me….

oh……

well, I guess….

maybe I did.

Have a great day my friends!

Rate this:

 

I have to admit being under the weather and largely abed for most of it this week seems to have flown right by. Unfortunately, I also lost last weekend to being ill, and since I have lost most of this work week. I too like the Dragon shall probably be working the bulk of the weekend.or catching up on my Honey-do list. This tends to render me slightly less enthusiastic than my normal wont over the subject..

NOW LET’S LAUGH!

 

 

Sleeping with Bob

The guys were all at a deer camp. No one wanted to room with Bob
because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn’t fair to make one of
them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.

The first guy slept with Bob and comes to breakfast the next morning
with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, “Man,
what happened to you? He said, “Bob snored so loudly, I just sat up
and watched him all night.”

The next night it was a different guy’s turn. In the morning, same
thing, hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot. They said, “Man,
what happened to you? You look awful! He said, ‘Man, that Bob shakes
the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night.”

The third night was Fred’s turn. Fred was a tanned, older cowboy, a
man’s man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and
bushy-tailed. “Good morning!” he said. They couldn’t believe it. They
said, “Man, what happened?”

He said, “Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Bob into
bed, patted him on the butt and kissed him good night. Bob sat up
and watched me all night.”

The old are a little wiser, when they can remember!

Isn’t that right K-Squared?

It’s been a while since we cooked or drank together and weekends are good for trying new recipes. Don’t discount this one just because its presented in graphics form!

Marinate the chicken in 2 Tbsp of Extra Virgin Olive Oil, 1 Tbsp of Aged Balsamic Vinegar and 1 tsp ea of  minced garlic and chopped fresh rosemary. Substitute a nice fat piece of Portobello  or Crimini Mushroom for the Water chestnut and you have a nice Italian appetizer.

Official ‘Summertime’ had just ended and in the early hours of that morning Lethal found his dyslexic mate Impish, sitting covering his Willy with black boot polish.

Lethal said, “You bloody idiot dragon – you’re supposed to TURN YOUR CLOCK BACK!”

Dear bra hooks,
Either cooperate or we start carrying scissors.
Sincerely, boys.

**************

Dear Americans,
Who told you we kiss like that?!
Sincerely, the French.

****************

Dear optimists,
If you look on the bright side for too long, you’ll go blind.
Sincerely, a pessimist.

***************************

Dear sit-ups,
Maybe if you didn’t start in the laying down position I could get myself to do a few…
Sincerely, lazy.

*************************

Dear Chinese people,
Do you get tattoos of American words?
Sincerely, I’ve always wondered…

*******************

Dear drag queens,
How do you manage to have better legs than me?
Sincerely, a jealous girl.

****************

Dear public restroom administrators,
Please either purchase A. Toilet paper dispensers with easy-to-turn spools, or B. Stronger toilet paper.
Sincerely, tired of tearing off one sheet at a time.

******************

Dear dentist,
I have to admit, I’m very impressed that you understood my story.
Sincerely, mmpghydood.

***********************

Dear people of the 1800’s,
Did you guys send dirty telegraphs and have letter sex?
Sincerely, curious.

******************

Dear you,
After reading this you will realize the the brain does not process the second “the.”
Sincerely, cool, eh?

*************

Dear person who invented salt,
What made you decide to combine two deadly poisons and put it on your food?
Sincerely, NaCl.

***************************

Dear platypus,
Not only are you half duck, half beaver, but you’re also one of the only mammals to produce venom.
Sincerely, jealous!

***********************

Dear @,
By the time they finally locate you on the keyboard, they could have typed at least three of me.
Sincerely, at.

*************************

Dear random person sitting next to me,
This is my favorite song, please stop singing…
Sincerely, those aren’t even the lyrics!

************************

Dear airlines,
So I have to wear a seatbelt while we are going two miles per hour while going to the runway, but not when we are 10,000 feet in the air while going several hundred miles per hour?
Sincerely, confused passenger.

**********************

Dear idiots who believe the world will end in 2012,
If the Mayans were so good at predicting things, they’d have seen the Spanish coming.
Sincerely, common sense.

Originally Posted as a comment in response to Impish’s Last Word in DL # 1200 May 17, 2011 at 12:37 . Since most of you never see the blog comments I am using it as todays Last word as well

Disney Trademarks “Seal Team 6″
By Alex Weprin on May 13, 2011 4:25 PM

In a perfect example of a big media company looking to capitalize on current events, The Walt Disney Company has trademarked “Seal Team 6,” which also happens to be the name of the elite special forces team that killed Osama Bin Laden.

The trademark applications came on May 3rd, two days after the operation that killed Bin Laden… and two days after “Seal Team 6″ was included in thousands of news articles and TV programs focusing on the operation.

Disney’s trademark applications for “Seal Team 6″ cover clothing, footwear, headwear, toys, games and “entertainment and education services,” among other things.

Of course, for all we know Disney has been working on an animated feature about a team of anthropomorphic seals in search of adventure, but given the timing of the application that seems… unlikely.

http://www.mediabistro.com/fishbowlny/disney-trademarks-seal-team-6_b35689

HISS! BOO Disney! You didn’t create Seal Team Six, Cdr. Richard Marcinko did at the behest of the CNO at the time ADM Thomas B. Hayward

I for one refuse to buy or watch another Disney product or movie until the relinquish the rights to the trademark to DEVGRU who should own it. Why am I hacked off? Because in addition to epic moronic bureaucratic mindless drone stupidity at the US Patient and Trademark Office, this is unconscionably and unthinkably shameless. An act of pure simple greed.

Now Seal Team 6 or DEVGRU as they are more correctly known can’t even legally reproduce their unit patches, polo shirts or t-shirts which have been sanctioned special attire since its plank days w/o kissing Disney’s ass, facing Walt’s picture and asking may I please? What the (expletive deleted) is next? Hasbro going to trade mark Delta Force or Green Beret for use by G.I. Joe?

This as another example of Big business slapping people in the face in the name of scrambling to be in the best position for obtaining the almighty dollar pure and simple. This time Corporate America has been so callous as to do it openly and dare to slap our Newest National Heroes. I say its up to us to put an end to it!

BOYCOTT DISNEY IN ALL IT’S FORMS UNTIL THEY RELINQUISH THE TRADEMARK TO ITS RIGHTFUL OWNERS WITH A PUBLIC APOLOGY!

Let them know that greed IS NOT good just because Michael Douglas and they say it is!  Sony tried this during Desert Storm One with the phrase “Shock & Awe” and the public outcry made them cease and issue apologies. Let’s make Disney see the same light of reason in the only language they speak..declining profits.