Good Morning Campers! Welcome to Political Tuesday. I honestly didn’t plan on it working out this way, but it seems you guys have an awful lot of politics on your mind, so we are going to show a good portion of what you campers have sent in to our in-box.
We also have a chance today to feature the comic work of Chad Carpenter and his Tundra cartoons. I’m SURE when you see them that you will recognize them. His art has graced our pages in the past and I’m sure they will again in the future. On Chad’s website, http://www.tundracomics.com/default.asp you will find humor from one end to the other. Just click on his “About Chad Carpenter” link on the left panel and here’s just a tiny sample of some of the hilarity on his site:
You just gotta love this stuff!
There ought to be enough funny stuff sprinkled amongst the political stuff to keep you humor purists happy, and there ought to be enough political stuff to get you ranters up and growling. So, grab a cup of coffee, sit back and prepare to laugh or scream…purely your choice. (Kinda sounds like my sex life….they either laugh or scream…okay, so that was pretty bad, but I had to….it was just too fitting. Okay, go on, get moving. Nothing to see here…)
Cletus is passing by Billy Bob’s hay barn one day when, through a gap
in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front
of an old green John Deere.
Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides
off first the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He then
hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his
overalls fall down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt.
Then, grabbing both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his
stained T-shirt underneath. With a final flourish, he tears the T-shirt from
his body, and hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.
Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says, “What the heck’re ya
doing, Billy Bob?”
“Good Lord, Cletus, ya scared the bejeezers out of me,” says an
[Don’t make me come ‘splain this to you! Read the last line again, slowly.]
In the sleepy village of Erbum , in the town of Tillet, Hertfordshire lives a lady by the name Linda Lykes. She owns the local pub called The Cock Inn. Her mail is addressed:
The Cock Inn
Language: English only...
Culture: Constitution, and the Bill of Rights!!!
Drug Free: Make a drug screen mandatory
for anyone on welfare and/or food stamps!
A Man Test
You must give this test a try. Very revealing for men.
As you age your powers of concentration are diminished. This seems to affect men more than women. Men’s degree of loss can be determined by the test below.
Click on test.
Questions You Can Never Answer
– Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
– Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
– Why do banks charge a fee on ‘insufficient funds’ when they know there is not enough money in the account?
– What is the speed of darkness?
– Why is it that people say they ‘slept like a baby’ when babies wake up every two hours?
– If the temperature is zero outside today and it’s going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
– Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
– How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
– Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
– Who was the first person to say, ‘See that chicken there… I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its ass.’
– Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
– Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
– Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
– Why does your Obstetrician, Gynecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
– Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!
– If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
– If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
– If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
– Why do the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Stop singing and read on………
– Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
– Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
– Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
Oliver North: Obama’s Mideast Tack ‘Deadly Mistake’
Friday, 20 May 2011 11:55 AM
The former National Security Council member was commenting on Obama’s speech at the State Department where he laid out his vision for the Mideast after the killing of Osama bin Laden and the struggles for reform in the region that have rocked long-established regimes in countries such as Egypt and Libya.
“I think we ought to look very carefully at a very naïve, utopian idea for how the world works,” North said. “And the idea of stepping back, as Mr. Obama has done, from a leadership position when we are the world’s superpower is a deadly mistake for the United States. It offers opportunities for our adversaries and makes our allies very insecure.”
Obama devoted a major portion of his speech to Israel and pushed for the country to negotiate a peace agreement with the Palestinians. The president endorsed a key and controversial Palestinian demand that borders for a Palestinian state be based on the national boundaries that existed before the 1967 Six Day War when Israel occupied East Jerusalem, the West Bank and Gaza.
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, who is to meet with Obama at the White House Friday, quickly rejected the idea, calling the 1967 lines “indefensible.” North characterized the idea as something “Jimmy Carter could be proud of.”
“What he obviously intends to do is to try to build on whatever momentum he has in the Arab world, the Muslim world, by attacking America’s only ally in that part of the world, the only real democracy in that part of the world and that’s Israel by pressuring them on the 1967 border issue,” North said. “It’s been around since Jimmy Carter and obviously he’s returned to that same political philosophy.”
North also questioned the wisdom of putting forth such a proposal the day before Netanyahu’s visit to the United States.
“To do this on the eve of Netanyahu’s visit to the United States clearly shows this man’s ego, and I’m talking about Mr. Obama’s, and his willingness to savage, as I call it, the only ally we’ve got in that part of the world,” North said.
On other topics, North said:
- Obama considers the death of Osama bin Laden to be “the game changer” in the region but it is “anything but clear that the outcome of what’s transpired in Egypt or what’s going on today in Syria or anything’s that’s happened in Bahrain or Yemen is going to end up in with positive change for the people.”
- The president sees the war on terror coming to an end and that view will be reflected as the budget process moves forward. “I think you’re going to see dramatic cuts to America’s defense posture . . . If you abandon everything out there, pull out of Iraq in its entirety and cut down to nothing in Afghanistan over the course of the next three years, you could end up with Iranian hegemony over that entire part of the world. That’s not good for anybody and it’s certainly a threat for those allies we do have in the Persian Gulf.” Seems to me that’s probably the whole idea!
- That the situation is Iran is not yet a second U.S. missile crisis but Iran will exploit every opportunity they have, making deals with China for missile hardware and North Koreans to get nuclear weapons equipment, technology and know-how. “There no doubt we have adversaries in that region.”
- That Syria will not transform itself overnight. The regime’s goal is to maintain itself and they are doing everything they can to repress the people who want self-determination.
The lady was a Southern Baptist who attended services and taught Sunday School every week.
On one Sunday, an out of town acquaintance, a gentleman, was in the pew right behind her. He noted what a fine looking woman she was..
While they were taking up the collection, the man leaned forward and said, “Hey, how about you and I having dinner on Tuesday?”
“Why yes, that would be nice,” the lady responded.
Well, the gentleman couldn’t believe his luck. On Tuesday he picked the lady up and took her to the finest restaurant in that part of South Carolina . When they sat down, the gentleman looked over at her and suggested, “Would you like a cocktail before dinner?”
“Oh, no,” said our circumspect fine example of southern womanhood, “What ever would I tell my Sunday School class?”
Well, our gentleman was set back a bit, so he didn’t say much until after dinner, when he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and asked, “Would you like a smoke?”
“Oh my goodness no,” said the woman. “I couldn’t face my Sunday School class if I did?”
Well, our boy felt pretty low after that, so they left, got in his car and as he was driving the lady home, they passed the local Holiday Inn. He’d been morally rebuffed twice already, so he figured he had nothing to lose so he ventured forth with, “Ahhh .. Mmmm…. how would you like to stop at this motel?”
“Sure, that would be nice,” she said .
The gentleman couldn’t believe his ears, and did a fast u-turn right then and there, and drove back to the motel and checked in.
The next morning, after a wild and passionate night of the most incredible sex and perversions imaginable, the gentleman awoke first. He looked at the lovely Dixie darling lying there in the bed and with remorse thought, “What the hell have I done? He shook her awake and pleaded, “I’ve got to ask you one thing, whatever are you going to tell your Sunday School class?”
The lady said, “The same thing I always tell them. You don’t have to smoke and drink to have a good time.”
Okay, well, Political Tuesday, I guess….lots of politics in today’s issue, and here’s a bit more. I’m not sure I see the same things that Mychal sees, but I appreciate his opinion, just the same.
At a time when many Americans can barely afford Burger King and a movie, Obama boasts of spending a billion dollars on his re-election campaign. Questioned at a recent appearance about the spiraling fuel costs, Obama said, “Get used to it” – and with an insouciant grin and chortle, he told another person at the event, who complained about the effect high fuel prices were having on his family, to “get a more fuel-efficient car.”
The Obamas behave as if they were sharecroppers living in a trailer and hit the Powerball, but instead of getting new tires for their trailer and a new pickup truck, they moved to Washington . And instead of making possum pie, with goats and chickens in the front yard, they’re spending and living large at taxpayer expense – opulent vacations, gala balls, resplendent dinners and exclusive command performances at the White House, grand date nights, golf, basketball, more golf, exclusive resorts and still more golf.
Expensive, ill-fitting and ill-chosen wigs and fashions hardly befit the first lady of the United States . The Obamas have behaved in every way but presidential – which is why it’s so offensive when we hear Obama say, in order “to restore fiscal responsibility, we all need to share in the sacrifice – but we don’t have to sacrifice the America we believe in.”
The American people have been sacrificing; it is he and his family who are behaving as if they’ve never had two nickels to rub together – and now, having hit the mother lode, they’re going to spend away their feelings of inadequacy at the taxpayers’ expense.
Obama continues to exhibit behavior that, at best, can be described as mobocratic and, at worst, reveals a deeply damaged individual. In a February 2010 column, I asked, “Is Obama unraveling?” I wrote that it was beginning to appear the growing mistrust of him and contempt for his policies was beginning to have a destabilizing effect on him.
At that time, I wrote that not having things go one’s way can be a bitter pill, but reasonable people don’t behave as he was behaving. He had insulted Republicans at their luncheon, where he had been an invited guest. I had speculated that was, in part, what had led him to falsely accuse Supreme Court justices before Congress, the nation and the world, during the 2010 State of the Union address.
It appeared, at that time, as if he were “fraying around the emotional edges.” That behavior has not abated – it has become more pronounced. While addressing the nation, after being forced to explain the validity of his unilateral aggression with Libya, America witnessed a petulant individual scowling and scolding the public for daring to insist he explain his actions.
But during an afternoon speech to address the budget/debt, he took his scornful, unstable despotic behavior to depths that should give the nation cause for concern. Displaying a dark psychopathy more representative of an episode of “The Tudors” television series, he invited Rep. Paul Ryan, R-Wis., to sit in the front row during his speech and then proceeded to berate both Ryan and Ryan’s budget-cutting plan. Even liberal Democrats were put off by the act. MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough questioned the sanity of Obama’s actions.
Today, criticism is coming from all sides. A senior Democrat lawmaker said, “I have been very disappointed in [Obama], to the point where I’m embarrassed that I endorsed him. It’s so bad that some of us are thinking, is there some way we can replace him? How do you get rid of this guy?” (“Democrats’ Disgust with Obama,” The Daily Beast, April 15, 2011)
Steve McCann wrote: Obama’s speech “was chock full of lies, deceit and crass fear-mongering. It must be said that [he] is the most dishonest, deceitful and mendacious person in a position of power I have ever witnessed” (“The Mendacity of Barack Obama,” AmericanThinker.com, April 15, 2011).
McCann continued: “[His] performance was the culmination of four years of outright lies and narcissism that have been largely ignored by the media, including some in the conservative press and political class who are loath to call [him] what he is in the bluntest of terms: a liar and a fraud. That he relies on his skin color to intimidate, either outright or by insinuation [against] those who oppose his radical agenda only add to his audacity. It is apparent that he has gotten away with his character flaws his entire life, aided and abetted by sycophants around him.
With these being among the kinder rebukes being directed at Obama, and with people becoming less intimidated by his willingness to use race as a bludgeon, with falling poll numbers in every meaningful category and an increasingly aggressive tea-party opposition – how much longer before he cracks completely?
The coming months of political life are not going to be pleasant for Obama. Possessed by a self-perceived palatine mindset, that in his mind places him above criticism, how long before he cracks in public? Can America risk a man with a documented track record of lying and misrepresenting truth as a basic way of life, who is becoming increasingly more contumelious?
Mychal Massie is chairman of the National Leadership Network of Black Conservatives-Project 21 – a conservative black think tank located in Washington, D.C. He was recognized as the 2008 Conservative Man of the Year by the Conservative Party of Suffolk County , N.Y. He is a nationally recognized political activist, pundit and columnist. He has appeared on Fox News Channel, CNN, MSNBC, C-SPAN, NBC, Comcast Cable and talk radio programming nationwide. A former self-employed business owner of more than 30 years, Massie can be followed at mychal-massie.com.
Another oldie, but goodie….you kinda see it coming, but it’s well written and eternally funny
Three friends married women from different parts of the world…..
The first man married a Greek girl. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.
The second man married a Thai. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn’t see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.
The third man married a girl from Australia . He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn’t see anything, the second day he didn’t see anything either but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he pees.
Yeah, I know, more politics….sigh….but it’s what you guys are sending me.
Walter E. Williams, (born 1936 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania) is a conservative American economist, commentator, and academic. He is the John M Olin Distinguished Professor of Economics at George Mason University, as well as a syndicated columnist and author.
Can President Obama be defeated in 2012? No. He can’t.
I am going on record as saying that President Barak Obama will win a second term. The media won’t tell you this because a good election campaign means hundreds of millions (or in Obama’s case billions) of dollars to them in advertising. But the truth is, there simply are no conditions under which Barak Obama can be defeated in 2012.
The quality of the Republican candidate doesn’t matter. Obama gets reelected.
Nine percent unemployment? No problem. Obama will win.
Gas prices moving toward five dollars a gallon? He still wins.
The economy soars or goes into the gutter. Obama wins.
War in the Middle East? He wins a second term.
America‘s role as the leading Superpower disappears? Hurrah for Barak Obama!
The U.S. government rushes toward bankruptcy, the dollar continues to sink on world markets and the price of daily goods and services soars due to inflation fueled by Obama’s extraordinary deficit spending? Obama wins handily.
You are crazy Williams. Don’t you understand how volatile politics can be when overall economic, government, and world conditions are declining? Sure I do. And that’s why I know Obama will win.
The American people are notoriously ignorant of economics. And economics is the key to why Obama should be defeated. Even when Obama’s policies lead the nation to final ruin, the majority of the American people are going to believe the bait-and-switch tactics Obama and his supporters in the media will use to explain why it isn’t his fault. After all, things were much worse than understood when he took office.
Obama’s reelection is really a very, very simple math problem. Consider the following:
1) Blacks will vote for Obama blindly. Period. Doesn’t matter what he does. It’s a race thing.
2) College educated women will vote for Obama. Though they will be offended by this, they swoon at his oratory. It’s really not more complex than that,
3) Liberals will vote for Obama. He is their great hope,
4) Democrats will vote for Obama. He is the leader of their party and his coattails will carry them to victory nationwide,
5) Hispanics will vote for Obama. He is the path to citizenship for those who are illegal and Hispanic leaders recognize the political clout they carry in the Democratic Party,
6) Union members will vote overwhelmingly for Obama. He is their key to money and power in business, state and local politics,
7) Big Business will support Obama. They already have. He has almost $1 Billion dollars in his reelection purse gained largely from his connections with Big Business and is gaining more everyday. Big Business loves Obama because he gives them access to taxpayer money so long as they support his social and political agenda,
8) The media love him. They may attack the people who work for him, but they love him. After all… to not love him would be racist,
9) Most other minorities and special interest groups will vote for him. Oddly, the overwhelming majority of Jews and Muslims will support him because they won’t vote Republican. American Indians will support him. Obviously homosexuals tend to vote Democratic. And lastly,
10) Approximately half of independents will vote for Obama. And he doesn’t need anywhere near that number because he has all of the groups previously mentioned. The President will win an overwhelming victory in 2012.
— Dr. Walter E. Williams, George Mason University
A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end, there were two little baby boys.
The blond guy turned to his wife and angrily said, “All right, who’s the other father!?!”