Good Afternoon.
Sorry about the abrupt disappearance this morning, but when you have an MRI scheduled and the center calls and says that they’ve had some cancellations and would love for you to come in early, we’ll be waiting for you… here’s the thought process that went through my head…

• We could leave early and get done early!
• We could beat the heat!
• They would be nice to us because we’re doing them a favor!

But the one that really got me….really struck home for me was…

• Finally, after all the time we’ve spent waiting on doctors and their staff, they’re sitting in their office, waiting on our ass! 

It was too good to pass up; So apropos.

So, now, I’m sitting here trying to catch up and get into the same mind set that I was in this morning.

It seems as though the little lead-in to Lethal’s Leprechaun Laffs yesterday struck a bit of a nerve with a lot of you, as it did with me.  As a matter of fact, as of the current writing time right now of 1230 hrs Z-4. (1630 hrs GMT/Zulu Time/ UTC)[UTC is a new one that means Coordinated Universal Time, which by my way of thinking should be CUT, not UTC which means Unit Type Code, which is a military deployment thingy.  But I guess that CUT was already taken by   Coordinadora de la Unidad de los Trabajadores {which means coordinator of the workers, which gives it that whole communism thing} or Church Universal and Triumphant {which starts messing with the whole issue of church and state} so you can understand completely why they choose to come up with a much needed and more useful term for GMT or Zulu and then choose to mix up the letters in the acronym just so they can fuck with the grammar school kids who have to learn all this shit.]

Okay, where was I?

Oh yeah….

As of the current writing which is 1249 hrs (yeah, I got another cup of coffee in the middle and spoke with the youngest Izzy Dragon so, it hasn’t been straight writing time) the issue has received several comments and references.  It is an important issue to us…us being the managing partnership of myself and my dear friend Lethal, this whole having fun thing. 

I’ve been doing this for about ten years now in a form that could be somewhat recognizable as Dragon Laffs and the attitude has always been, like it is now, in one form or another, “Getting through the day, one laff at a time” or “Battling the Bull-shit with laughter and fun.”   The whole idea is to be funny and yet poignant at the same time.  Any of you who’ve been around for a while know that we believe STRONGLY in the military, police, fire, EMT, Emergency Room Folks, etc.   What I would call the service industries.  The people who stand between us and them…them being anything from a screaming jihadist with his panties in a bunch to a burning building where everyone is running AWAY from the fire, except those special people who are running into it. 

We’ve always been conservative politically and liberal in many other areas.  But we’ve always done our level best to try to get your eyes open and to have you try to open our eyes to the things that are going on in our country and in our world right now. 

And lately, that’s been very frustrating. 

Maybe, like has been mentioned several times, we’re preaching to the choir….we’re standing on soapboxes…shaking our fist at the mountain…
…if we are, it’s been for only one reason…
Because we believe, passionately, that our country is going to hell in a hand basket and there’s not a single politician in office right now that SEEMS to care for anything other than their own re-election campaign.  We believe that it is important to get that word out, and the way in which we have chosen to do that is with humor.

But our numbers have become static.  We aren’t growing as a blog, we’re not reaching more and more campers like we had hoped.  We know, WE KNOW that we have you, our loyal readership and believe me when I tell you that we have a very special place in our heart for each and everyone of you.  You have brought us along this far and we need your help to bring us along even further. 
And yet it seems we’ve let you down.  If the comments are any indication…and I believe they are.  You want us to go back to the old way of doing things, I know many of you are still stuck on the email issue and ONLY read the issue in your mail boxes no matter how many times we tell you that you are missing out on some or all of the good stuff by not going to the blog site. So we know the way a lot of you feel.  And that’s all fine and good and you wonderful people please continue to read and enjoy the ezine and send us comments when the spirit moves you.

But for the rest of you hard-core fanatics, who’ve stuck with us through thick and thin, have helped us along the way with comments (good and bad, constructive and destructive) who’ve laughed at our jokes, told us to get down off our high horses, lauded us when we’ve done it right and taken us to task when we’ve done it wrong, to you we need help.  We need you to help us get this blog to grow.  Tell your friends, send emails out with our web address, (http://dragonlaffs.com) pretty soon you will be able to “like” us on facebook (whatever the hell that means) and other things as we come upon them.  I’ve been doing this for a long time and have seen many changes take place in this trip, and each change seems to have been for the better…but now, we’ve come to an open place in the road and we’ll need your help to keep us on the right path.

You know, I just re-read this whole thing and I can’t really tell what the heck I’m trying to say.  I guess I’m just trying to say too much at once.  For me, this has always been more than just “fun”.  It’s also been cathartic, medicinal, therapeutic. 

It helps keep me from dropping off the deep end.

But it’s also something to get passionate about and we’d like you to get passionate with us.  Let’s all spread the word and help make Dragon Laffs a power to be reckoned with.  Now go and enjoy your day before I confuse even more of us than I already have.

Cheers,

Impish Dragon

Good Morning campers.  I thought I had plenty of time this morning but the doctor’s office just called and wanted to see us early, so please expect a bit of an extra out of me this afternoon and for now, just go ahead and start the laughter!
I’ll catch up later.

 

Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an
air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure
to see the sun every day like this. I’m turning into a sun
worshipper.

June 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of
cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing the lawn
for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th:
The temperature hasn’t been below 100 all week. How do people get
used to this kind of heat? At least, it’s kind of windy though. But
getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th:
Fell asleep by the community pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of
my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned
my lesson though. Got to respect the ol’ sun in a climate like this.

July 20th:
I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this
morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died
and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag, then popped like a
water balloon. The car now smells like Kibbles and Shits. I learned
my lesson though. No more pets in this heat. Good ol’ Mr. Sun
strikes again.

July 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And it’s
hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC
repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to
order parts.

July 30th:
Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now, $225,000 house
and I can’t even go inside. Lomita is the lucky one. Why did I ever
come here?

Aug. 4th:
Its 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It
cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate this stupid
state.

Aug. 8th:
If another wise ass cracks, ‘Hot enough for you today?’ I’m going to
strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work, the radiator is
boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked
cat!!

Aug. 9th:
Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I sat on
the seats in the car, I thought my ass was on fire. My skin melted
to the seat. I lost 2 layers of
flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass . . . Now my
car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.

Aug 10th:
The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and sunny.
Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It’s been too hot to do shit for 2
damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next
week. Doesn’t it ever rain in this damn state? Water rationing will
be next, so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over.
Even the cactus can’t live in this damn heat.

Aug. 14th:
Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 115 today. Cactus are dead.
Forgot to crack the window and blew the damn windshield out of the
car. The installer came to fix it and guess what he asked me??? “Hot
enough for you today?” My sister had to spend $1,500 to bail me out
of jail. Freaking Texas . What kind of a sick demented idiot would
want to live here?? Will write later to let you know how the trial
goes.

Some fantastic battle video here…and of course great music by Toby Keith

 

Mapping the 2010 Census

Just glide your cursor over the map and it displays every county.
Can’t imagine how long it took to create this map!!
Amazzzzzing!!!

Mapping the 2010 U.S. Census – NYTimes.com

This one’s just plain fun!

Just an ordinary guy…

Thanks for this so-nice reminder from Sammemom

I was going to complain about how hot it is,

then I realized that:

1.) It isn’t 109 degrees;

2.) I’m not 5,700 miles from home;

3.) I’m not dressed in a full BDU uniform

and helmet and carrying 70+ lbs.; and

4.) There is very little chance that

anyone will shoot at me or that I might

drive over a bomb in the road today!

Thanks to all who serve.

A former Sergeant, having served his time with the Marine Corps, took a new job as a school teacher, but just before the school year started, he injured his back.

He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn’t noticeable. On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school.

The smart aleck punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and decided to see how tough he really was before trying any pranks. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk.

When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he picked up a stapler and
promptly stapled the tie to his chest.

….. Dead silence …

He had no trouble with discipline that year.

SEMPER FI!!

Remember……..age, treachery and deceit will overcome youth, stamina and toughness all the time !!!

 

Midwestern  tycoon Warren Buffett, pictured here adorably eating a parfait, presented his quick and easy solution to America’s debt problem today on CNBC:

“I could end the deficit in five minutes. You just pass a law that says that anytime there is a deficit of more than three percent of GDP all sitting members of congress are ineligible for reelection.”

I really love that idea!

Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot mug is exactly what I need for work.  For those of you who don’t recognize it, it is written in military alpha code…

And for those of you who still don’t get it, find a G.I. and ask him/her.  I’m sure they’ll be more than happy to fill you in.

 

 

 

The student ninja tries out her new move for the instructor.

My Good Buddy Wheats sent this to me….I hope you enjoy his writings as much as I do…

Y’know, I mentioned how I really dig the sci-fi series “FarScape”.  It took awhile to grow on me but it is in full swing and I’m especially liking the crafty, emobodiment-of-evil villain they created, known as “Scorpius”.  He is a hybrid species resulting from the forced mating (rape) of a Scarran and a Sebacean.  He is most likely the only one of his kind in existence.  

However, he is evil, evil, evil.  

While watching the show, I was struck that he reminded me of someone.  Someone who I was unfamiliar with until a few years ago when the government set about doing nasty things to the American people on a monumental level.  

Then it hit me.   

Harry Reid is Scorpius.   (See photo)

I mean, it’s now blatantly obvious.  The parallel is uncanny.  The nasty temperament, the conniving, underhandedness, the smart-ass comments, all of it.   I now really enjoy it when Scorpius gets defeated time and again by John Crichton in the series.  Sort of makes me feel better about what Reid tries to pull in government….knowing that it’s unlikely that he ever gets really defeated but…it’s nice to dream about.

Wheats then wrote back and sent me these… more proof:

I know… it’s spooky!

Idle Thoughts of a Retiree…from our own Diaman:

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it  ******************** I had amnesia once—or twice  ********************  I went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart. Now what?  ********************  Protons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.  ********************  All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy  ********************  If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.  ********************  What is a “free” gift? Aren’t all gifts free?  ********************  They told me I was gullible and I believed them.  ********************  Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he’ll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.  ********************  Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.  ********************  One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.  ********************  My weight is perfect for my height–which varies.  ********************  I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.  ********************  How can there be self-help “groups”?  ********************  If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?  ********************  Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I’ll show you a man who can’t get his pants off  ********************  Is it me –or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

What a Classic!  Thanks to Lynn for pointing me towards this one:

There was a young man named Sweeney
Who spilled some gin on his weenie.
Not being uncouth,
He added vermouth,
And slipped his girl a martini.

Let’s try it this new way,” said Jack
As he winked at the girl in the sack.
She turned and she grunted,
“I should be affronted,
But this time I’m taken aback!”

There was a young woman named Susan
Who found it delightf’ly amusin’
To make love to three men
Although who did what when,
Was frequently rather confusin’.

Here’s an article sent to us by our good friend and fellow camper K².  The following are his comments prior to the article: Just received this item…… It’s rather interesting that “supposedly” this little ditty was never covered by the TV news people.  It’s the basis behind his push for a Health Care plan.  But then again, ALL politicians lie sooner or later.

Obama Lied About His Mother’s Fight With Insurance Companies

“I remember in the last month of her life, she wasn’t thinking about how to get well, she wasn’t thinking about coming to terms with her own mortality, she was thinking about whether or not insurance was going to cover the medical bills and whether our family would be bankrupt as a consequence,” Obama said in September 2007.
“She was in her hospital room looking at insurance forms because the insurance company said that maybe she had a pre-existing condition and maybe they wouldn’t have to reimburse her for her medical bills,” Obama added in January 2008.
“The insurance companies were saying, ‘Maybe there’s a pre-existing condition and we don’t have to pay your medical bills,’ ” Obama said in a debate with Republican opponent Sen. John McCain in October 2008.

It’s no big deal that Obama lied to further his agenda, he has a long track record of skewing the “facts” to suit his argument, those facts to be quickly abandoned when they no longer serve his purpose or the wind changes. And as K² so eloquently pointed out, sooner or later ALL politicians lie.
What annoys me is that no news agency picked this story up.  None of them picked up the fake birth certificate (that one’s been completely forgotten) but we’re going to spend news cycle after news cycle after news cycle on which friggin’ celebrity is in rehab today. 
I used to think that it was the American public’s fault because newspapers and news sources in general are only going to focus on what sells.  Like the song “Dirty Laundry” by Don Henley “You don’t really need to find out what’s going on; You don’t really want to know just how far it’s gone; Just leave well enough alone. Eat your dirty laundry.”
But I’ve come to understand that they are all, every friggin’ one of them, pushing their own agendas.  ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, MSNBC, FOX, NPR, Rush, Beck, who-the-hell-ever!  They ALL tell us what they WANT to tell us in the WAY they want to tell us and all of them tell us that the other guys are wrong, or misguided, or biased.  What do you have to do to get to the truth?
One of our readers once told me that the way he does it is to take a sampling from several different news sources and average them out.  At least that way you are getting close.
I gathered that he didn’t have to work for a living.
It’s no wonder that the average working person doesn’t have the time or the inclination to dig for the truth…we’ve always relied on our news sources to keep us honestly informed.  And that has obviously stopped quite some time ago.
Must’ve gone right past me. 

Good Morning Readers.

I have a couple of administrative notes for you regarding some changes to Leprechaun Laughs format before we got to the laughing part this morning.

Impish has said that this is supposed to be fun for him and I first and foremost. Well for me personally for some time now it has not been. I have become increasing frustrated that all the hard work we both were putting into our respective issues was getting us exactly no place with attempting to make blog grow and flourish. I cannot speak for Impish but I was spending between four and six hours assembling each issue, That’s not “fun” that’s a part time job. So after talking with a couple of you, who probably never even knew your opinions were being polled as well as with Impish and Molly I’m instituting a few changes starting today in an attempt to return making Leprechaun Laughs as fun a thing for me as it is for you.

First off, though I will still probably loosely follow Impish’s set format I’m not going to feel bound by it any longer, Leprechaun Laughs as it will be hence forth known to underline the difference between us will have its own style and identity just as it has its own tone and voice. I have been slowly trying out different things over the last month to see what worked and if anything got raves or rants. Unfortunately all I got was crickets chirping.

I think it was Dan pointed out a while ago that I was not getting the comments and chat back I was looking for because I was preaching to the choir.  Molly bless her soul pointed out that:

1. It isn’t the choir who needs the preaching to it’s the heathens and from experience I can tell you when their minds are closed and their mouths are open, just like Liberals’ are conversion is not a possibility.
2. A soapbox looses its impact if you are always on it shouting about something or other. Both were right and the time effort and research that goes into write a Last Word (at least for me) is probably about a third to half of the time required to put an issue together. 

So as of today I will no longer be doing a Last Word as the regular ending to my Leprechaun Laughs issues. If there is something so monumental as to require one you may occasionally see a rant or a Sunday Editorial/Week in Review Extra but this should be the exception and not the rule from now on.

Also I will be experimenting with different graphics, styles, fonts and content features as well as over all looks during the course of the next several weeks. I’m hoping at least some of you will rouse yourselves from your lethargy of indifference long enough to post a comment either in the comments section or to me personally about what you like and do not like about the different looks and features rotating through.

OK Enough housekeeping and explaining.

Humor Time!

 

A couple of you have written asking about the heat and the weather down here in Texas and if its anything like the extreme heat you have been experiencing. The short answer is what you are experience is what we call normal bout seven months a year. Here let me illustrate:

HOW HOT IS IT IN TEXAS ??
This is Elliot, a British Bulldog, and this is an “un-posed” picture (trust me, you couldn’t actually make Elliot do anything) of said pooch trying to beat the TEXAS heat after his owners emptied their cooler in the driveway in Sachse , TEXAS .



One picture is worth a thousand words……

 

 

An Italian Protest

Yesterday I had an appointment to see the urologist for a prostate exam. Of course I was a bit on edge because all my friends have either gone under the knife or had those pellets implanted.

The waiting room was filled with patients.

As I approached the receptionist’s desk, I noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. I gave her my name.

In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, “YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?”

All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at me, a now very embarrassed man.

But as usual, I recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, “NO, I’VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON’T WANT THE SAME BLOODY INBACILE OF DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.”

The room erupted in applause!

DON’T MESS WITH LEPRECHAUNS!!!!

 

The priest was preparing a man for his long day’s journey into night.

Whispering firmly, the priest said, “Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!”

The dying man said nothing.

The priest repeated his order.

Still the dying man said nothing.

The priest asked, “Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?”

The dying man said, “Until I know where I’m heading, I don’t think I ought to piss off anybody.”

A brief flash of Irish Philosophy we call Seamusisms:

I was going to give him a nasty look but he already had one!

You three are a right pair if ever I saw one!

How come every time you dial a wrong number it’s never busy?

Catherine asked, “Hello, Molly. How are your new false teeth?” Molly replied, “I’m leaving them out till I get used to them.”

A True Irishman gets married for life, but not necessarily for love.

A true Irishman gets more Irish the farther he gets from Ireland.

A true Irishman considers a bore to be someone who keeps constantly interrupting.

A true Irishman considers anyone who won’t come around to his point of view to be hopelessly stubborn. (Aha! Now I know where I got that trait!)

A true Irishman has so much respect for the truth that he uses it only in emergencies

A true Irishman cries at sad movies, but cheers in battle

A true Irishman considers funerals a festivity but weddings sad events to be put off as long as possible, preferably forever.

A true Irishman can argue either side of a question, often at the same time.

 

Brian O’Connell drives a double-decker bus through the streets of Dublin. One day a very drunk Timothy Fogarty climbed aboard Brian’s bus taking a seat on the bottom deck near Brian. As you may or may not know, Brian is required not to allow any drunks onto his bus, but today he was rather light-hearted so he decided to let the inebriated Fogarty remain on board.
As is his wont when he has had a few Timothy began talking a mean streak, which made Brian suggest that Timothy should sit on the upper deck.
“The air up there is clean and fresh, and you will get a much improved view,” encouraged Brian.
Fogarty agreed and stumbled his way up top. However, he returned in only a few minutes.
“What’s wrong?” Brian asked. “Didn’t you like it better up there?”
Timothy replied, “It’s okay. But it’s too dangerous.”
“Too dangerous?” queried Brian. “How is that?”
“There’s no driver,” answered Fogarty.

Old man Fogarty arrives home several hours past closing time, and he is still feeling the effects of a long night of imbibing, he is. As he stumbles through his front door who does he meet, but none other than Missus Fogarty, herself. And Missus Fogarty is none too pleased with the condition of Mister Fogarty, don‘t you know.
“Aw, well look at this, now!” says the missus. “Mister Fogarty Himself has finally decided to grace us with his presence, he has.”
“Well, I…” begins Fogarty. But Missus Fogarty quickly interrupts.
“Michael Fogarty! Don’t you give me any of your lame excuses! At what Irish pub have you been wasting away all of my hard earned wages this time?” demands Missus Fogarty.
“At this beautiful new establishment, my love,” replies Fogarty. “It is called The Golden Pub. Everything there is golden, everything, I tell you.”
“Don’t you ‘My Love’ me Michael Fogarty. And don’t you be tellin’ me one of your tall tales. You know there is no such place as the Golden Pub. The Good Lord will punish you for telling’ such lies, He will.”
But Fogarty insists, “Sure, but there is such a place, Missus Fogarty! It has huge golden doors, an’ a golden floor, an’ a golden foot rail at the bar. Pray that the Good Lord will strike me down where I stand if I’m a lyin’. Missus Fogarty, even the urinal is gold!”
But Missus Fogarty does not believe ol’ Fogarty’s story and says, “Don’t you be takin’ the Good Lord’s name in vain Michael Fogarty. Golden Pub, indeed! Off to bed with ya’ now. Go sleep it off!”
But the very next mornin’ finds Missus Fogarty poring through the phone book, searching for a saloon called The Golden Pub. Sure enough, she finds a bar far across Dublin with the same name.
Missus dials the number listed to check on ol’ Fogarty’s story. “Is this the Golden Pub?” she asks as the bartender answers the phone.
“It is,” replies the bartender.
“An’ do you have huge golden doors?” asks Missus Fogarty.
“But of course we do, Missus,” answers the bartender.
“Do you have golden floors too?”
“That we do, missus.”
“An’ a golden foot rail at the bar?” queries Missus Fogarty.
“Yes, ma’am. We have that too.”
“What about golden urinals?”
Then there is a long pause…after which Missus Fogarty hears the bartender yelling in the background, “Hey, O‘Hara, I think I just got a lead on who took a leak in your saxophone!”

Well that explains Impish’s affection for the show!

Grandma’s Zucchini Cake Recipe

Prep time: 15 minutes

• Cook time: 45 minutes

The frosting amount assumes that you are going to keep the cake in the pan and only frost the top. If you plan on removing the cake from the pan and frosting the sides, you’ll want to up the frosting amounts.

Ingredients

Cake:

• 2 cups flour
• 2 teaspoons cinnamon (can sub 1 teaspoon with other spices such as allspice and nutmeg, go easy on the cloves though)
• 2 teaspoons baking soda
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon baking powder
• 3 eggs
• 2 cups white, granulated sugar
• 1 cup vegetable oil
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 teaspoon grated lemon zest (optional, my addition)
• 2 cups (from about 3-4 regular sized zucchini) grated un-peeled zucchini (place grated zucchini in a sieve and press out some of the excess moisture before measuring)
• 1 cup chopped walnuts or pecans (my grandmother recommends black walnuts)
• 1/2 cup golden raisins (optional)

Frosting:

• 3 ounces cream cheese, softened to room temperature (Philadelphia cream cheese recommended)
• 1/4 cup butter, room temperature
• 1 1/2 to 2 cups of powdered sugar

Method:

1 Preheat oven to 350°F. Butter a 9×12 or 9×13 baking pan (I used a pyrex pan).

2 In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, cinnamon, baking soda, salt, and baking powder. Set aside.

3 In a mixer, beat the 3 eggs on high speed until frothy. Lower the speed and beat in the sugar, vegetable oil, vanilla, and lemon zest (if using). Stir in the flour mixture, a third at a time. Stir in the zucchini and chopped nuts and/or raisins.

4 Pour mixture into a 9×12 or 9×13 baking pan. Bake at 350°F for 40 to 45 minutes. (My grandmother’s notes say you can also bake in an angel food pan for 1 hour.) Remove from oven and let cool completely before frosting. (While the cake is cooling, let the frosting’s cream cheese and butter sit at room temperature to soften.)

5 To make the frosting, beat together the cream cheese and butter. Add the powdered sugar and beat until smooth.

Frost the cake and serve. Store covered with aluminum foil.

Yield: Makes about 20 pieces.

 

Wavy Gravy was the opening act and everyone did the Mashed Potato

Old Paddy is at the bar and he’s in one of his drink until everything is forgotten stages.
The bartender [a good friend] continually tells him he’s had enough and to go home.
Finally after several last calls, Paddy declares “I’m going home”, promptly falls off his high bar stool and drags himself to the door.
He hails a cab while face down on the curb, manages to open the door and drag himself from his sprawled position into the backseat. The cabby drives him home with Paddy singing nonsensical music to himself the whole way. Paddy rolls out of the cab manages to drunkenly flop his way across the lawn, gets the front door half open and passes out.
The next day because the bartender is also a good friend he checks on paddy, and seeing him lying on his back in the doorway says, “Paddy, you were drunk last night weren’t you?”. Paddy replies, “Yes, but I didn’t think I was that drunk, how did you know?”. To which the bartender replies, “You left your wheelchair at the bar”.

CATHOLIC SHAMPOO

Two nuns were shopping at a 7-11 store. As they passed by the beer cooler, one nun said to the other, ” wouldn’t a nice cool beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening?”

The second nun answered, “indeed it would, sister, but i would not feel comfortable buying beer, since i am certain it would cause a scene at the checkout stand.”

“I can handle that without a problem” the other nun replied, and she picked up a six-pack and headed for the check-out.

The cashier had a surprised look on his face when the two nuns arrived with a six-pack of beer. “We use beer for washing our hair” the nun said, “back at our nunnery, we call it Catholic Shampoo.

Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter. Pulled out a package of pretzel sticks, and placed them in the bag with the beer. He then looked the nun straight in the eye, smiled, and said: “the curlers are on the house.”

 

Dear girls with big boobs,

Yes, we understand you have tons of problems. At least millions of people find your “problems” attractive.

Sincerely, girls with small boobs.

Dear Curious George,
If you’re so curious, why haven’t you bothered to figure out my name?
Sincerely, the Man in the Yellow Hat.

Dear scar,
If anybody asks, I got you while I was fighting the evil space pirates trying to take over the world.
Sincerely, the real reason is boring.

Dear “you can never have too much of a good thing”,
Yes you can.
Sincerely, it’s called “hoarding.”

Dear non-flammable ,
Challenge accepted!
Sincerely, pyromaniac.

Dear bra,
Please stop hogging all my skittles.
Sincerely, digging.

Dear unbreakable tupperwear and knife that can cut through anything,
My money is on the knife.
Sincerely, let the battle begin!

Dear geese,
When you get cold, do you get human bumps?
Sincerely, curious.

Dear yoga instructor,
You are an alien.
Sincerely, that’s impossible.

Dear English teacher,
No we are not acting like three year olds. A three year old wouldn’t find the word “climax” funny.
Sincerely, an easily amused 15 year old.

Dear thirteen-year-olds “in love”,
Five…four…three…two…one.
Sincerely, well that was nice while it lasted.

Dear movie,
When did that happen?
Sincerely, authors.

Dear voice in my head,
I would listen to to you a lot more if you had a British accent.
Sincerely, American voices are so dull…

Dear cupcakes,
No one likes a midget.
Sincerely, cake.

Dear Burger King,
Your motto is, “Have it your way” but when I ask for a bacon milkshake your employees give me a hard time.
Sincerely, upset customer.

Dear old lady who cut me in line,
It’s okay, you’re first in line to die, too.
Sincerely, I can wait…

Dear teachers,
We stayed up all night studying, you can stay up all night grading.
Sincerely, students.

Dear inventor of tampons,
How awkward was it for you to explain your invention to everyone?
Sincerely, curious.

Dear McDonalds,
Please make your playgrounds supersized for us dedicated customers…
Sincerely, stuck in the slide.

Dear mothers and fathers,
Merely giving the excuse that your child has ADHD does not make up for the fact that your child is misbehaving.
Sincerely, parenting… Learn it.

Dear My Little Pony,
Please get rid of the tattoos on your butts
Sincerely, now my little girl wants a tramp stamp…

Dear “popular” girl,
Before you insult me for being flat chested, please make sure that the toilet paper in your bra isn’t visible.
Sincerely, hypocrite.

Dear person in a chatroom who wrote “I’m deprest”,
I would be too if my spelling was that terrible.
Sincerely, content grammar Nazi.

Dear women,
Relax. If we don’t notice when you’re wearing new clothes or have your hair in a different way, we most likely won’t notice when you’ve have a tiny pimple or have gained 2 pounds.
Sincerely, men everywhere.

Dear 2012,
I survived Y2K, bird flu, mad cow disease, swine flu, AND the Rapture.
Sincerely, BRING IT.

Dear exams,
Well, F you too.
Sincerely, sleep deprived.

Dear rest of the world,
Where are you when we have OUR natural disasters.
Sincerely, the USA.

Dear Dr. Phil,
More kids are addicted to Facebook than marijuana.
Sincerely, reality.

Dear Black Angus restaurant,
Please repair your bright sign. The ‘G’ in Angus is missing and my grandpa can’t stop laughing.
Sincerely, driving by.

Dear McDonald’s,
Don’t leave the toy out just because I’m over 10 and ordering a Happy Meal.
Sincerely, filing a complaint.

Dear automatic flush,
Literally just scared the crap out of me.
Sincerely, flushing again…

Dear Tarzan,
If you were taught to speak English by people from England, then why do you have an American accent?
Sincerely, really Disney?

Dear radio stations,
You do realize there are more than just five songs in the world, right?
Sincerely, I have like 2,000 on my iPod…

Dear guys in health class,
How do you know more about a vagina than we do?!
Sincerely, the concerned girls in your class.

Dear British children,
Do you elect a class king instead of a class president?
Sincerely, must know.

Dear humans,
Do you kill all of your visitors?
Sincerely, spiders.

Dear poops,
Please stay in when I fart.
Sincerely, that’s not gonna come out in the washer.

Dear Jehovah’s Witnesses,
Did you seriously just try the door handle?!
Sincerely, geez, must be important…

Dear strangers who harass me about smoking,
I’ll quit smoking when you quit drinking high fructose corn syrup, quit driving your hummer, and quit drinking three pots of coffee a day.
Sincerely, at least I don’t smoke in crowded areas.

Dear deaf friend,
When people yawn, do you think they’re screaming?
Sincerely, just curious.

Dear girl with too much make-up,
Someone misses coloring books, huh?
Sincerely, anonymous.

Dear Youtube commenters,
Just because you have the right to free speech doesn’t mean you have the intellect to use it.
Sincerely, how are you that stupid?!

Dear person who asked me if I just cut my hair,
No, I didn’t cut it, I dyed the tips invisible.
Sincerely, come on.

Dear Cinderella,
If the shoe fit so perfect, why did it fall off in the first place?
Sincerely, your curious Prince

 

Good Morning Campers. 
Saturday.
A day of rest and honey-dos.
Unless, of course, you’re working today (like me) then it’s just another day of the week. Oh well, someone has to keep the world safe for democracy…
I’m just saying, someone has to, cause it sure as hell ain’t us!  WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH OUR GOVERNMENT????  I’m so sick and damn tired of these partisan games that these rich bastards are playing with our lives.  I read the headlines today that the budget talks are stalled out AGAIN.  Folks, these aren’t budget talks.  The year is 75% over!  The NEW (fiscal) year starts October first.  And they haven’t even finished fighting over THIS year!
This is just wrong!
It’s time we, the people, threw the bullshit flag!
It’s time to say, “Look.  We elected you!  We PAY you! Get your asses in their and fix this and don’t come out until it’s done! Or don’t bother coming back!”  That’s exactly what I would do if one of my employees wouldn’t do their job.  And make no mistake, THESE CONGRESSMEN AND SENATORS, JUDGES, EVEN THE PRESIDENT, ALL ELECTED OFFICIALS ARE OUR EMPLOYEES!   THEY work for US! 
And it’s about time that we, the people, hired some people that are worth a damn, because the service in this campground SUCKS!

…pant!…pant!…pant!…

I promised myself that I was going to have a nice, enjoyable day at work.  Not get upset.  Keep a smile on my face…

Not even six a.m. and I already blew that one.

So, before my ranting burns my office up and the smoke alarm wakes up Lethal, this dragon is going to go to work to make my dollar and tell all you wonderful campers….

LET’S LAUGH!!!

 

And I use that line all the time…. lol.

Nursery Rhymes, not the way I remember them…

What a Fantastic Picture This Is!

Station Crew Views Shuttle Landing

This unprecedented view of the space shuttle Atlantis, appearing like a bean sprout against clouds and city lights, on its way home, was photographed by the Expedition 28 crew of the International Space Station. Airglow over Earth can be seen in the background. 

If you are interested in downloading this (or many, many other) picture in high resolution, you can do that by going to the NASA website.  Here: http://www.nasa.gov/multimedia/imagegallery/iotd.html 

Thanks to Garth Bull for this marvelous picture of a dragon box

I’m going to add a bit extra to this normal warning and tell you that this one is absolutely awful!  So, be warned.

A mother complained to her doctor about her daughters strange eating habits. “All day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax. What will happen to her?”

“Don’t worry,” said the Doctor. “Eventually, she will rise and shine.”

What a shame these cartoons are.  The end of an era.  As someone who’s grown up always wanting to be an astronaut, it is like pushing a knife through my heart to think that the United States of America is getting out of the space business.  What an abysmal mistake that is.  The space program has always paid more in dividends then it ever cost.  So much of our modern technology has been a direct spin-off of studies made in trying to get further out in space.  Just one for instance…miniaturization.  Does anyone doubt that one of the driving forces of the amazing cell phones, computers, micro processing that we are enjoying now is the space program?  Making more from less.  Maybe we’ll smarten up in the future. 

Maybe.

Mary had a little lamb.
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.
********************

I ain’t sayin’ nuthin’!
Okay, yes I am.  We notice the exact same thing here at Dragon and Leprechaun Laffs Enterprises.  How about some comments on our content?  Let’s get some good discussions going here.  Yes, I know I misspell words….but is that really the most important part?  Let’s talk!

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.
********************

Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man,
‘What have you got there?’
Said the pie man unto Simon,
‘Pies, you dumb ass’ !!
********************

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings’ horses,
And all the kings’ men.
Had scrambled eggs,
For breakfast again.
********************

Hey diddle, diddle, the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.
********************

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too ’cause he was gay.
********************

There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad……….
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a
sports car.

Buddy Todd sent us this WAY COOL website.  Check it out.  1/10 scale model of the Yamato.  http://www.jason-webb.com/rc-radiocontrolled/yamato_model_battleship_kure.html

 

And while we’re scratching our heads with the WTF, how about… do you have any regrets?

So, very, very sad.

I was extraordinarily impressed with LL’s Last Word yesterday.  What a collection of things that make you go…”WTF?!”  I know we all probably had ones that hit you harder than others, but the one that got my goat more than any other was us paying $770 million to refurbish Mosques….not even Mosques in our country, which would be bad enough, but Mosques over seas!  That’s insulting!

Here’s a man we NEED to have run for president….I love reading and listening to him speak.

Greetings to our constituents, fellow Floridians, and all Americans, here we are for another weekly update. There is only one word that describes the past week: appalling.

It was appalling to hear the President of the United States truly threaten our nation’s senior citizens and Military Veterans/Retirees. Furthermore, the blatant lie that 80% of Americans want their taxes raised is beyond unconscionable.

I believe we are headed towards the ultimate ideological clash in America. There is a widening chasm which has developed between those who believe in principled fiscal policies and those desiring the socialist bureaucratic nanny-state. An unfortunate aspect to this is the complicity of a mainstream media which does not report facts, but rather ideological bias. This clash will determine the future and legacy of our Constitutional Republic.

I know who wins in the end, but it is going to be one heck of a fight.

This week the House GOP shall vote on a plan that will enable us to protect the full faith and credit of the United States but also tackle the long-term fiscal viability of our nation. The plan is summarized by the concept of “Cut, Cap, and Balance.” Our Congressional office issued a statement on Friday which explains the legislation, of which I am an original cosponsor – you can click here to view.

Neither I nor any other reasonable person wants to see the United States default on its debt interest payments and threaten a potential rise in our interest rates. I do not want to see my country devolve into the European situation played out in Portugal, Italy, Ireland, Greece, or Spain (PIIGS). However, now is the time to get our fiscal house in order by implementing spending control measures which will begin to turn around our economic ship of state.

We must have equitable and immediate spending cuts to our non-defense discretionary spending. We must cap federal government spending as per the Gross Domestic Product (GDP), currently near 25%, down between 18-20% putting it in line with revenues. And lastly, we must have a balanced budget amendment to the Constitution which will force us to prioritize and operate within our means, similar to American households and many state governments.

As for President Barack Obama, he has no such plan. He has never had a plan, just words, just speeches. His Budget for Fiscal Year 2012 failed 0-97 in the United States Senate. Speaking of the Senate, it has been over 800 days since the Senate, under Democrat control, has passed a budget.

President Obama has added some $4.5 trillion to our national debt in less than three years. President Obama has produced record deficits, the negative difference between revenues and spending, of $1.42 trillion, $1.29 trillion, and an estimated $1.65 trillion for each year since taking office.

The unemployment rate under President Obama is a problem of epic proportions, national (9.2%), black community (16.2%), and among veterans (approx 12%). This comes from someone who told us his almost trillion-dollar stimulus would keep unemployment in America under 8%. As well, the almost $2 trillion Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act has been a disaster, and the worst is yet to come.

This has nothing to do with race (unfortunately my colleague from Texas, Representative Sheila Jackson-Lee believes so), and it has everything to do with an economic vision which is anathema to our free market/free enterprise system…an economic vision which has failed at every turn.

And all we hear from the President is talk about “shared sacrifice,” “tax the rich,” and “increase revenues by tax hikes.” It was just December 2010 that President Obama and the Democrats extended the Bush era tax rates for two years…now less than a year later they are FLIP-FLOPPING!

The problem is, there is no confidence and certainty in the fiscal vision emanating from Washington D.C. and hence revenues and receipts are down. We are not setting the conditions or creating an environment for economic and job growth. For all of you, that is what has to change, and that is where I am committed to seeing change and not the empty rhetorical doublespeak of 2008.

I suppose the President forgot that 47% of wage earning households in America do not pay federal income taxes.

In the area of foreign policy, the United States has officially recognized the Libyan rebels as the “legitimate” government of Libya. Now, I am just a simple fella from down South, but I recall a previous Democrat President recognizing a bunch of undefined ideological zealots called the Taliban…and we all see how that ended up!

The voices of the American people who want sound fiscal, taxation, and regulatory policy need to be heard this week. I am issuing a “call to action” – let the White House, Nancy Pelosi, and Harry Reid hear how you feel. Are there REALLY 80% of Americans who want higher taxes?

I must confess, when I see anyone with an Obama 2012 bumper sticker, I recognize them as a threat to the gene pool.

http://www.redcounty.com/content/point-anyone-obama-2012-bumper-sticker-threat-gene-pool

Look at this too…

It’s On!… Rep. Allen West Confronts Lying “Vile & Despicable” Leftist Wasserman Schultz

Posted by Jim Hoft on Tuesday, July 19, 2011, 6:21 PM

After Rep. Allen West left the House floor today, lying leftist hack Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz attacked him and lied about the Republican plan. A disgruntled Allen West sent out this response to the vile DNC chair.
Via the Politico:

From: Z112 West, Allen
Sent: Tuesday, July 19, 2011 04:48 PM
To: Wasserman Schultz, Debbie
Cc: McCarthy, Kevin; Blyth, Jonathan; Pelosi, Nancy; Cantor, Eric
Subject: Unprofessional and Inappropriate Sophomoric Behavior from Wasserman-Schultz

Look, Debbie, I understand that after I departed the House floor you directed your floor speech comments directly towards me. Let me make myself perfectly clear, you want a personal fight, I am happy to oblige. You are the most vile, unprofessional ,and despicable member of the US House of Representatives. If you have something to say to me, stop being a coward and say it to my face, otherwise, shut the heck up. Focus on your own congressional district!

I am bringing your actions today to our Majority Leader and Majority Whip and from this time forward, understand that I shall defend myself forthright against your heinous characterless behavior……which dates back to the disgusting protest you ordered at my campaign hqs, October 2010 in Deerfield Beach.

You have proven repeatedly that you are not a Lady, therefore, shall not be afforded due respect from me!

Steadfast and Loyal

Congressman Allen B West (R-FL)

Look for vile Wasserman Schultz to play the victim card in 3… 2… 1…

UPDATE: Rep. West stood by his comments.
Via FOX News:

West told Fox News that Wasserman Schultz’s comments were part of a “pattern” of “hate,” and he felt that she “disrespected” him in her House floor speech.

“You don’t need to call me out on your time to speak on the floor,” West said. “Focus on what is your plan for the debt ceiling.”

House Majority Whip Kevin McCarthy, R-Calif., whom West copied on his email, defended the tea party-backed freshman.

http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2011/07/its-on-rep-allen-west-confronts-lying-vile-despicable-leftist-wasserman-schultz/

 Sir, you have my vote.

 

I realized after I made the banner that the sign is wrong. It should read “cross Leprechaun” not “Leprechaun crossing’”!

Well I thought our ride on the rain storm train to Waterville had ended yesterday as they were no longer showing rain in our forecast yesterday and it was back to bright sun. However just after 5 last night we received another good  gentle watering for about two hours. While this doesn’t alleviate our drought problem (we’re still someplace north of 14 inches shy in rainfall for the year so far) the 2.5” we got over the last four day has helped a little and was greatly welcome.

Mean time we go back to the brutal heat many of the rest of you are experiencing currently…or as we here in Texas call it, summer time weather. After nearly freezing me McGoogles off for so long in what might have been the coldest winter on record for Texas last winter due to you people so generously sharing your winter with me down here it only seems right I share my summer weather with you.

Stay cool, stay inside during the hottest portion of the day, wear light colors, wear hats with broad brims, stay well hydrated (which unfortunately means limiting your caffeine intake or at least balancing it with an equal amount of water) and take solace in the fact that you folks don’t live in Texas which means that at least for you the heat cannot go on forever.

 

Now On To The Laughter!

I was sitting in our Dragon Laffs Corporate Headquarters Cafeteria the other day as Impish came by swiftly (or at least as quickly as he could waddle) pushing an entire serving cart of pastries headed for his office. His timing took him past my seat just in time to hear me say softly “Man, I really love you”.

Impish stopped his cart looked at me with tears welling up in his eyes and said “Back at ya  Dude. I know you pick on me in Leprechaun Laffs and make fun of my “fluffiness” but I also know its all for show and that you have my back always. That is a great personal comfort to me. I want you to know I feel the same way towards you and will always have your back  as well.  I’m glad we are secure enough in our respective manhood that we could have this moment and say these things to each other. It really means a lot to me.”

I looked him straight in those still moist deeply touched eyes a moment and said “Stuff another bloody whole éclair in your feckin piehole ya great lard filled bloody poofter, ‘twas me coffee I was talking to and I be thankin’ ye not to buttin’ in ta this private moment ya closet Barney!”

 NEVER under estimate the power of, attraction to or a man’s devotion to his coffee!

 

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?”

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound; a sound like no other that he has ever heard. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you because you’re not a monk.”
The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery.

The monks again accept him, feed him, and even fix his car..

That night, he hears the same strange mesmerizing sound that he had heard years earlier.

The next morning, he asks what the sound was, but the monks reply,
“We can’t tell you because you’re not a monk.”

The man says, “All right, all right. I’m dying to know.
If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?”
The monks reply, “You must travel the Earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.”

The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the Earth and devoted my life to the task demanded and have found what you had asked for. There are 371,145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.
The monks reply, “Congratulations, you are correct, and you are now considered a monk.
We shall now show you the way to the sound.”
The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, the sound is behind that door.

The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He asks, “May I have the key?”
The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.
Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone… The man requests the key to the stone door.
The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby.. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. And so it went on until the man had gone through doors of emerald,……silver, topaz, and amethyst.

Finally, the monks say, “This is the key to the last door.”

The man is relieved to be at the end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is astonished to find the source of that strange sound. It is truly an amazing and unbelievable sight …..

 

… But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk.

DON’T SWEAR AT ME! I’M STILL HUNTING FOR THE IDIOT WHO STARTED THIS!

But I bet you send it on.

The Estilo GT Bluetooth Mouse ($38) is available over at USB Brando.

The USB Super GT Mouse is available in metallic blue or silver for $15 from the USB Geek website

The V8 Bullet Wireless Mouse is available from BoysStuff.co.uk for £19.95 (about $31).

The Travel Butterfly Computer Mouse measures 8 x 4 x 2.2 cm (3.14 x 1.57 x 0.78 inches) and is available from the Fabstuff website for about $40.

Hooked on fishing? Couldn’t care less about Ergonomic Design Awards? How about a Fishing Lure Optical Computer Mouse ($25) to spice up your desk?

To the left we have the yellow star-shaped mouse that didn’t quite make it to the “Best Ergonomic Design” finals. And to the right we have the red juicy strawberry mouse that will look great together with this USB flash drive.

Both products are available from the Design 3000 website for 30 EUR (about $44 USD).

‘Jelly click’ is a flat type portable mouse that can be used by being inflated satisfying both portability and usability of a laptop mouse. When deflated the user can fold it up for a convenient portability and when inflated and in use a feeling as if you were touching a soft jelly or even a balloon can be felt.

Visit the Designodoubt website for more photos of the Jellyclick concept.

Body Computer Mouse
Even though it is just a concept, Chris Lomaka’s Body computer mouse is still very creepy.

MLB Baseball Cap Computer Mouse
Baseball fans will love using this unusual MLB ball cap mouse.

NES Controller Computer Mouse
NES-inspired computer mouse. Only a concept at this time.

Mus2 Computer Mouse
Mus2 cordless optical two-button mouse not only controls the cursor on the screen, but looks like one, too.

Real Mouse Computer Mouse
Homemade travel-size computer mouse. Fully functional, and furry!.

Hand Grenade Computer Mouse
Unique computer mouse mod: hand grenade, don’t pull the pin!

Aircraft Computer Mouse
This unusual computer mouse is available in black or white and features two buttons, a scroll wheel and LED lights.

At first, this looks like just about any wireless computer mouse. But when you look closer and flip it over, you will find a fully functional gamepad hidden underneath.

The 2.4GHz Chameleon X-1 mouse features 7 buttons and a scroll wheel, and the gamepad is equipped with 14 buttons.

The product will be available for $55 during the first quarter of 2011.

Head over to the Shogun Bros site for more info and photos of the Chameleon X-1

Hidden inside the Genius Navigator, gamers will be happy to find a gamepad featuring six buttons, plus Turbo and Clear buttons, and a directional pad.

The 1600/800dpi USB laser mouse weighs 67 grams and is compatible with Windows Vista, XP and 2000. The Genius Navigator 365 is currently out of stock, but is otherwise sold by donya.jp for 3,499 yen (about $33 USD).

Finally this one isn’t just cute, cool or a joke, well ok, it is sort of cool but there is a lot of medical science and serious engineering behind this one with an eye toward alleviating repetitive stress injuries associated with pointing devices.

SmartFish’s award-winning ErgoMotion technology enables forward, backward and lateral wave-like movements for the wrist every time the mouse is in use. This helps to relieve discomfort from repetitive stress injuries related to extended computer usage.

Here’s a video demonstration of the ErgoMotion laser mouse:

The ErgoMotion Laser Mouse is available now from the getsmartfish.com website for $49.95. or Amazon.com: http://www.amazon.com/Whirl-Laser-Mouse-Anti-Gravity-Comfort/dp/B002L6GDXO/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1310927519&sr=8-1

After my doing the “way cool hey look at this dude” thing to him I understand Impish is looking at obtaining one and were I not a firmly stead fast devotee of thumb powered trackballs I probably would as well.

 

Hope he remembers to wipe the guys call log, clean his Browser Cache and grab his little black book too!

 

A good ole Arkansas boy won a bass boat in a raffle drawing. He brought it home and his wife looks at him and says, “What you gonna do with that.
There ain’t no water deep enough to float a boat within 100 miles of here.”
He says, “I won it and I’m a gonna keep it.”
His brother came over to visit several days later. He sees the wife and asks where his brother is.
She says, “He’s out there in his bass boat”, pointing to the field behind the house.
The brother heads out behind the house and sees his brother sitting in a bass boat with a fishing rod in his hand, down in the middle of a big field.
He yells out to him, “What are you doing?”
His brother replies, “I’m fishin’. What does it look like I’m a doing.”
His brother yells, “It’s people like you that give people from Arkansas a bad name, makin’ everybody think we is stupid. If I could swim, I’d come out there and whip your ass!”

SWEET POTATO SALAD

1/2 pound bacon
3 cups diced, cooked sweet potatoes
2 cups pineapple chunks
1/2 cups mayonnaise
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
2 tablespoons lime juice
1/2 teaspoons freshly ground pepper
1/2 cup Macadamia nuts
Romaine leaves
Cut the bacon slices into 1/2-inch pieces and fry in a skillet until well browned. Drain on paper towels.
Combine the bacon, sweet potatoes and pineapple in a large mixing bowl and toss lightly.
In a small bowl combine the mayonnaise, mustard, lime juice and pepper. Add dressing to the potato mixture and mix lightly but thoroughly.
Just before serving, stir in the macadamia nuts.
Serve the salad in a chilled salad bowl lined with romaine leaves.

 

 

If you thought paying $7 for a hot dog at the ballpark was outrageous, you might want to get out the defibrillator.
The Brockton Rox hope to break the Guinness World Record for most expensive dog by serving an $80, half-pound behemoth, covered in decadent toppings you won’t even find at some Michelin-starred restaurants. The Massachusetts-based member of the Canadian-American Association of Professional Baseball will roll out the extravagant frankfurter on July 23 — National Hot Dog Day.
The foot-long wiener will get the royal treatment. After deep frying, it will be rolled in truffle oil, then coated in porcini dust. The dog is to be topped with white truffle shavings and crème fraiche. If that doesn’t gild the lily enough, the frank will be finished with caviar and fresh roe.

$80 no Grey Poupon and its served on deli paper on a cardboard holder? Somebody is cutting corners!

 

Full Civic Literacy Exam

• Are you more knowledgeable than the average citizen? The average score for 2,508 Americans taking the following test was 49%; college educators scored 55%. Can you do better?

Intercollegiate Studies Institute – Educating for Liberty

A woman has a dog who snores in his sleep. She goes to the vet to
see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon
around the dog’s testicles and he will stop snoring.
A few hours after going to bed the dog is snoring as usual. She
goes to the closet and grabs a piece of ribbon, ties it around
the dog’s testicles, and sure enough the dog stops snoring. The
woman is amazed.
Later that night her husband comes home drunk after being out
with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep, and begins
snoring very loudly.
The woman thinks maybe the ribbon will work on him. She goes to
the closet again, grabs a piece of ribbon, and ties it around her
husband’s testicles. Amazingly it also works on him. The woman
sleeps very soundly.
The next morning the husband wakes up very hung over. He stumbles
into the bathroom to do his business, and as he stands in front
of the toilet, he looks in the mirror and sees a blue ribbon
attached to his scrotum. He is very confused. He walks back into
the bedroom and sees a red ribbon attached to his dog’s scrotum.
He looks at the dog and says, “Rex old fella, I don’t remember
what the hell happened last night, but wherever we were, we took
first and second place.

Someone get the King of ID on the phone quick and see if he’ll trade that Falcon for a Dragon!

 

Ol’ Impish has been suffering some serious heat lately that he’s just not used to just like many of you. This is apparently causing his tail to drag more than usual as evidenced by hiss last couple of Last Words being all graphics and no words at all. While admittedly my Last Word today will be rather more graphic intensive than normal I’m hoping that they illustrate and amply the point of my words rather than take their place.So lets being shall we?

The best term for this issue I have heard to date comes from Jon Stewart who has deftly labeled this issue:

 

 

 

WARNING! When you spend 4 hours watching a Star Trek TNG Borg~athon while eating a Popa John’s Spicy Italian meats pizza followed by the 11 pm news wrap up where Obama, the National Debt and the strong possibility of Social Security checks being interrupted figure prominently, you run the risk of experiencing nightmares akin to the ones I had which Looked a lot like this:

When your rant about Mexican Nationals being executed and Obama trying to underhandedly take away yet another State’s Right slip into the mix your nightmare then morphs to resemble this:

Yes those are both Lethal Leprechaun originals, I just forgot to mark the copyright on the first one. Yes I will be honking pissed off if I catch them reposted without attribution to the blog and will seek to make someone’s life a living hell over it. Yes I’m aware I have Sci~fi issues, wadda ya expect? I claim to be a Leprechaun while paling around and partnering with a guy who is under the delusion he’s not only a Dragon but a cute, cuddly and lovable one!

Star Trek not you cuppa tea you say? Ok what about Star Wars? Several people out there seem to be having Sci~fi themed nightmarish visions along the same lines I am

The Democrats captained by Storm trooper Biden and overseen by Obama Vader are desperately trying to stave off Rebel Republican~Tea Party attacks and get the Debt Star finished before the August 2nd deadline.

Ok Enough giggling and trying to throw a humorous light on a serious subject which in this case personally I find a nearly impossible task anyway. Oh what the hell… one more giving nod to the horror genre. I’ll admit this one isn’t exactly on point but I just loved it too much to leave out try as I might have.

As usual for movie posters they left a few things out probably due to space limitations and the desire to have a few surprises if they got lucky and managed to catch a sequel. Things like Anti~American, Anti~State’s Rights, Anti~Balanced Budget, and Pro~Socialism.

I think we can all agree regardless of our personal political ideology on a few basic facts.

1. Inaction to resolve this for what ever reason would be economically catastrophic, highly embarrassing and internationally damaging to the USA.
2. Holding the elderly at gun point via their Social Security checks by either side is a despicable tactic assured not to be forgotten by one of the largest voting blocks and hence political suicide in the next election for those seen as attempting it.
3. All parties involved (I say all parties because the Tea Party members in the House are a fair sized chunk of this problem) stubbornly insisting playing a game of budgetary/debt ceiling chicken for partisan gains is doing nothing but bringing us dangerously close to our National Bullshit Ceiling~ which is the measure of total incompetence and bullshit we are willing to put up with out of our politicians. (kudos again to Jon Stewart for the term) A ceiling if breached is going to prove catastrophic to the present group of politicians in Washington DC.
4. The politicians are totally and wantonly disregarding the will of the people in this as expressed thru the popular opinion poll numbers that have been popping up all over the place which state that as much as seventy percent (70%) of American favor both spending cuts and tax increases on those making over two hundred thousand dollars a year.
5. Our congress has sold its independence of conscience that had focused on a major concern for the general welfare of the nation and its citizens. Instead we find Congress is in “gridlock” between those whose concern is to serve the desires of big business, financiers and Wall Street versus those whose aim is to promote the nation’s general welfare.
6. We as citizens are at fault for allowing this to happen, by our ignorance of how a Republic functions, by our failure to participate in the process as candidates, to vote and support honorable candidate in the electoral process. If we don’t seek to change that trend rather than perpetuating it, the implications are clear, we as a nation will have sold out to big business and left behind the common good.
7. All signs warn that the U.S. experiment as a Republic is doomed to collapse similar to Athens and Rome unless today’s Americans wake to the danger and work to restore the spirit of freedom and independence which animated the Americans in 1776!

Now that I see most of your heads nodding (I just wish I knew it it was in agreement or sleep) lets look at the 2 basic issues of this problem.

Tax increases are a fairly straight forward issue. so I’m not going to spend a whole lot of time on the subject. Basically the issue boils down to a couple simple questions. Yes or No? How much of an increase? at what income level does it start? Is it a fixed of escalating increase?

That’s it basically in a nutshell. that is all there is to the subject. No rocket science. NO weight issues to ponder, unless you count the one faced only by Congress and the President which is “How many votes and how much in campaign contributions is doing this going to cost me?” This is not our problem or concern and dare I say…not a consideration that should come into the picture when voting on something that effect so many people besides them in such a critical way!

The other issue, spending cuts. they would have us believe is far more difficult thorny and complex, with “far reaching implications”

I say bloody well bollocks on that bullshit! I can save the taxpayers $770 million more or less with one swipe of the pen! Just think about that for a second now, that’s nearly three quarters of a Billion dollars in savings by killing a single expenditure and I bet that I don’t piss any American taxpayers off doing it either!

Here’s the program right here:

Mosque Makeovers With United States Tax Dollars

At a time when our country has a $1.5 TRILLION deficit, we should be cutting everything possible in sight, right? So why do we have a $770 million program to fix up mosques overseas?  Can you imagine a $770 million program to fix up Christian churches (or even a $7.70 program)? Why are we spending $770 million in money we don’t have to fix up mosques in other countries around the world? Countries in which the Muslims that gather in those mosques  preach our downfall and plot terrorist act against us? Why are we giving them Internet access to make their preaching of hatred and coordination of attacks easier for them?

Not a single one of you objects to killing this program do you? I didn’t think so! I’m willing to be more than a few of you are shocked and pissed at this aren’t you?

Now lets look at a list of Programs the Republican’s want to cut the amount of funding to or do away with entirely or alter the premise of.

These are all the programs that the Republican House of Representatives has proposed cutting.  I’ve annotated a few of the lesser know or more confusing ones with their explanations or URLs for reference. Unfortunately time does not permit me to do all of them but Google is your friend here.

I’d also point out that no place on that list is my proposed $770 million dollar cut interestingly enough.

• Corporation for Public Broadcasting Subsidy. $445 million annual savings.
• Save America ‘s Treasures Program. $25 million annual savings.http://www.nps.gov/history/hps/treasures/
• International Fund for Ireland. $17 million annual savings. (The International Fund for Ireland is an independent international organization established in 1986 by the British and Irish governments with the objectives of promoting “economic and social advance and to encourage contact, dialogue and reconciliation between nationalists and unionists throughout Ireland.)
• Legal Services Corporation. $420 million annual savings. http://www.lsc.gov/about/lsc.php  (note that not funding this does NOT mean its going to go away. It’s a non~profit orginazation and get funding form other sources as well)
• National Endowment for the Arts. $167.5 million annual savings.
• National Endowment for the Humanities. $167.5 million annual savings.
• Hope VI Program. $250 million annual savings. http://portal.hud.gov/hudportal/HUD?src=/program_offices/public_indian_housing/programs/ph/hope6
• Amtrak Subsidies. $1.565 billion annual savings.
• Eliminate duplicative education programs. H.R. 2274 (in last Congress), authored by Rep. McKeon, eliminates 68 at a savings of $1.3 billion annually.
• U.S. Trade Development Agency. $55 million annual savings.
• Woodrow Wilson Center Subsidy. $20 million annual savings. (A presidential memorial that fosters scholarship and dialogue in the humanities and the social sciences. You want to smell bullshit check the webpage) http://www.wilsoncenter.org/
• Cut in half funding for congressional printing and binding. $47 million annual savings.
• John C. Stennis Center Subsidy. $430,000 annual savings. http://www.stennis.gov/about-the-center/mission
• Community Development Fund. $4.5 billion annual savings.
• Heritage Area Grants and Statutory Aid. $24 million annual savings. http://www.cbo.gov/doc.cfm?index=6075&type=0&sequence=6 (see section 300~12)
• Cut Federal Travel Budget in Half. $7.5 billion annual savings
• Trim Federal Vehicle Budget by 20%. $600 million annual savings.
• Essential Air Service. $150 million annual savings.
• Technology Innovation Program. $70 million annual savings.
• Manufacturing Extension Partnership (MEP) Program. $125 million annual savings.
• Department of Energy Grants to States for Weatherization. $530 million annual savings.
• Beach Replenishment. $95 million annual savings.
• New Starts Transit. $2 billion annual savings.
• Exchange Programs for Alaska , Natives Native Hawaiians, and Their Historical Trading Partners in Massachusetts . $9 million annual savings
• Intercity and High Speed Rail Grants. $2.5 billion annual savings.
• Title X Family Planning. $318 million annual savings.
• Appalachian Regional Commission. $76 million annual savings.
• Economic Development Administration. $293 million annual savings.
• Programs under the National and Community Services Act. $1.15 billion annual savings. (The Corporation for National and Community Service (CNCS) was created as an independent agency of the United States government by the National and Community Service Trust Act of 1993. The mission of the CNCS is to “support the American culture of citizenship, service, and responsibility.” While a government agency, the Corporation acts much like a foundation, and it is the nation’s largest grantmaker supporting service and volunteering.)
  
• Applied Research at Department of Energy. $1.27 billion annual savings.
• FreedomCAR and Fuel Partnership. $200 million annual savings.
• Energy Star Program. $52 million annual savings.
• Economic Assistance to Egypt .. $250 million annually.
• U.S. Agency for International Development. $1.39 billion annual savings.
• General Assistance to District of Columbia . $210 million annual savings.
• Subsidy for Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority. $150 million annual savings.
• Presidential Campaign Fund. $775 million savings over ten years.
• No funding for federal office space acquisition. $864 million annual savings.
• End prohibitions on competitive sourcing of government services.
• Repeal the Davis-Bacon Act. More than $1 billion annually. (The Davis–Bacon Act of 1931 is a United States federal law which established the requirement for paying prevailing wages on public works projects. All federal government construction contracts, and most contracts for federally assisted construction over $2,000, must include provisions for paying workers on-site no less than the locally prevailing wages and benefits paid on similar projects a.k.a. Union Scale Wages)
• IRS Direct Deposit: Require the IRS to deposit fees for some services it offers (such as processing payment plans for taxpayers) to the Treasury, instead of allowing it to remain as part of its budget. $1.8 billion savings over ten years.
• Require collection of unpaid taxes by federal employees. $1 billion total savings. WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• Prohibit taxpayer funded union activities by federal employees. $1.2 billion savings over ten years.
• Sell excess federal properties the government does not make use of. $15 billion total savings.
• Eliminate death gratuity for Members of Congress.
• Eliminate Mohair Subsidies. $1 million annual savings. (yeah I had to look this one up too. Mohair usually refers to a silk-like fabric or yarn made from the hair of the Angora goat.)
• Eliminate taxpayer subsidies to the United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change. $12.5 million annual savings
• Eliminate Market Access Program. $200 million annual savings.
• USDA Sugar Program. $14 million annual savings.
• Subsidy to Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD). $93 million annual savings.
• Eliminate the National Organic Certification Cost-Share Program. $56.2 million annual savings.
• Eliminate fund for Obamacare administrative costs. $900 million savings.
• Ready to Learn TV Program. $27 million savings..
• HUD Ph.D. Program.
• Deficit Reduction Check-Off Act.
• TOTAL SAVINGS: $2.5 Trillion over Ten Years

Ok I’ll grant you there are a couple of items on there I am a little iffy on cutting and no the aid to Ireland is not one of the things I am speaking of. I’ll even grant that there are one or maybe two items that would at least on the surface appear as Republican backed deliberate slaps at the Democrats and the President in particular. I will also grant that I have not explored each and every one of these items  both due to the time required and the fact that if we face facts educating ourselves to this entire list is pointless Congress is bent on ignoring us and our wishes regarding all of this anyhow. However by and large when I look at that list I see and smell a great deal of fatty Pork! The sort of thing we cannot afford and that is exactly the reason our national debt more closely resembles a sumo wrestler than a weight lifter.

The fact that with regard to debt and the budget we are in desperate need of a financial diet seems blatantly obvious to me. Its also obvious to me that by and large this list seems a pretty damned reasonable place to start that diet’s cutting out of fatty expenditures.

I have one last point to make before I let you folks  go immerse yourselves in a pool full of ice blocks in an attempt to remain cool.

There are a multitude of reasons being bandied about as to who is responsible for there not being a successful deal with regard to the deficit ceiling. However one accusation has been put forth that I find unworthy of a member of Congress. This Democrat is attempting to use charges of racism as a lever to pry a Democrat favorable compromise out of the other side. If you research her speeches and news stories you will see that it is in fact her who is the racist. I am embarrassed to say that person is a representative of Texas. My only attempt at facing saving will be to say that she has never been a representative of any district I have lived in.

I would point out that her District, the 15th is largely made up now of “Katrina Refugees transported here from the Astrodome as well as like minded individuals that were already here. This may help to place her accusation in perspective for you.

Rep. Sheila Jackson-Lee (D-TX) is racist!

Seriously Rep Jackson~Lee? Thing appear to you Democrats that desperate that you have to whip out that tired old worn race card and play it? Your boy is being singled out for the color of his skin as opposed to say oh his stupidity, arrogance, socialist agenda or the questionable borderline abuses of Presidential powers he has committed? No other president has ever been disrespected and given a hard time like he’s getting?

Can we roll tape on tis please and get some perspective?

Obama’s Recovery Summer

 

Yeah that’s just about what I thought. You and Rep Hank Johnson (the idiot that was worried additional military personnel deployed to Guam might cause the island to tip over and sink with great loss of life) have been drinking pretty deeply from the same big old cuppa IGNORANT AND STUPID haven’t you?!

You want to know WHY we are neck deep in the pile of shit we are? because we elect people like this to govern us and then keep re~electing these morons after they publically prove their incompetence and stupidity!!

Now that we are all thoroughly disgusted go try to stay cool and have a great weekend!

I said go already the issue is over! Why are you still here? Someone call security!IMPISH! This guy is trying to steal your gold and your donuts at the same time!