Dragon Laffs #1286

header47adult1Good Morning Campers.  Another Saturday spent with your favorite dragon… Nol!  Not Barney!  Dammit Lethal!  Stop spreading rumors!  Me!  Impish Dragon, I’m your favorite dragon….right?  RIGHT?
“I Love You, You Love Me, we’re a great …””
Shut that crap off!  I swear to Tiamat, that if I find out who has been sabotaging all my audio recordings with that crap, I’m going to eat the person responsible!!!
”…happy family.”
<sound of gun fire>
Okay, now, where was I?

Okay folks, all you wonderful generous people, I hate that we have to do this, but last weeks request for donations only garnered 3 donations.  Not near enough to cover our expenses again for the next year.  Yes, I know things are tough all over for everyone, us too.  We provide the work and the material for free.  Well, it’s not really free, it’s our time.  Time we take away from our family, time we take away from our friends of away from sleep.  Don’t get me wrong, we both LOVE doing this, but if I have to turn to Mrs. Dragon and say, not only am I taking away from the time spent with you and the little dragon, but I’m going to take from our very tight budget as well?  Well, I’m not sure I can do that.  We’re not asking for bunches of money from a couple of people, if everyone even just sent in one dollar, what ever you can spare, that would help immensely.  And to the three who have donated, I say thank you very much.  You help and generosity are deeply appreciated.  Again, go to the web site at http://dragonlaffs.com and at the upper right, directly under the word blogroll,  you can see where you can click on the words to donate through paypal.  If you really don’t want to go to the website….and I’m not really sure why you wouldn’t, but here’s the direct address to paypal to donate to dragonlaffs: https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=4X2MEADWHBYE8 

Now, let’s get on with the laughter!

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I do not know where family doctors acquired illegibly perplexing
handwriting; nevertheless, extraordinary pharmaceutical intellectuality
counterbalancing indecipherability transcendentalizes intercommunication’s
incomprehensibleness. (The longest known meaningful sentence
where each word is one letter longer than the last)

97Ain’t it the truth!  We ALL need to let them know that.  Your chance comes in November.  You must be sure to take advantage of that opportunity!  Please, don’t sit your ass at home.  You need to get out there and:Vote
This is probably the best question I have EVER read.  And it makes the most sense!
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And Everybody Seems To Think That Lethal Leprechaun’s Irish Blessings Are So Nice…
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coollogo_com-35886411Thanks to Lynn for this Way Cool Website to Visit:

Telegrams From Last Century

There is something that is absolutely fascinating about telegrams to me. Telegrams have a romantic air of the past about them. They are like touchstones to people and places that are now captured in time on a piece of paper.

Created in August of 2011, this site features telegrams from the last century. The blog-style navigation is a breeze – just scroll down the page and click Older to view previous entries or newer to see more recent entries. On the left side of the page there is menu that gives you the option of viewing a full list of tags, emailing the site’s author, viewing the archive, sending the author a message (send me a telegram), submitting telegrams, or viewing a random post.

Beneath that menu there is a search field.  Just type in a key word and hit enter. For example, if you type in Howard Hughes and hit enter, you’ll bring up all the telegrams that he sent sent. Several of those telegrams were sent to Katherine Hepburn via her secretary Emily Perkins under the pseudonym Dan or Stephen.

Most of the telegrams are from someone famous to someone famous, but I think that just adds to the intrigue and romance allowing us a glimpse into their communications. You’ll also find telegrams to politicians like the one from Jackie Robinson to President Lyndon B. Johnson, communiqués from FBI agents about escaped prisoners like John Dillinger, and  telegrams of congratulations or condolences. It is also very neat to see how the actual physical form of the telegrams change over time, what kinds of paper they are printed on, and  how they are formatted.

This is a great site that celebrates the telegram, check it out today!

http://telegramsfromlastcentury.tumblr.com/

A dear nurse friend of mine sent me this.  She knows that I have this thing for nurses.  Not sure if it’s the uniform or the large breasts or just what it is, ….

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The phone rings, and the wife answers.
A pervert, with heavy breathing, says, “I bet you have a tight ass with no hair?”
Woman replies, “Yes, he’s watching TV – who shall I say is calling?”

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DragonPapa1 (160)

Observations

Olympic gymnast Gabby Douglas became America’s darling
when she won the gold medal. She spun in the air, twirled
and flipped twice and landed squarely on her feet. President
Obama called her and asked if she would be his
new press secretary.


Washington D.C. agreed to convert to lower-wattage streetlights
to save energy and cut back on greenhouse gas emissions. The
environmentalists are forcing the city to convert to dimmer
bulbs. So they’re screwing members of Congress into the
light sockets.


President Obama ordered the CIA’s clandestine services to help
the Syrian rebels overthrow Bashar Assad. There goes the
element of surprise. President Obama’s idea of clandestine is
he only tells three newspapers and one cable news network.


Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke says that economic
data is masking the struggles of the average American. Mostly
because the economic data is put out by the government who
doesn’t want the average American to see how badly the
government has screwed things up.

If we test Olympians for steroids, I’m sure we could test
Harry Reid for crazy pills.  

President Obama’s 51st birthday was Sunday. Assume Donald
Trump sent him a card saying “Prove it.

 


A poll says that President Obama’s approval rating is below 50%
in 37 states. The question is, which 13 states are happy about
the way things are going?

Spain kicked off its bullfighting season with the Running of
the Bulls Monday. Young men run through streets in front
of charging bulls for the thrill of outrunning death. Americans
get the same thrill running just ahead of the bankers at the
first of every month.


A Brazilian Senator was expelled from his office for corruption.
U.S. Senators were shocked. What kind of backwards,
primitive government are they running there?
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And Oldie, but Goodie…

Last Saturday afternoon, in Washington , D.C, an aide to Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi visited the Bishop of the Catholic cathedral in D.C. He told the Cardinal that Nancy Pelosi would be attending the next day’s Mass, and he asked if the Cardinal would kindly point out Pelosi to the congregation and Say a few words that would include calling Pelosi a saint.
The Cardinal replied, “No. I don’t really like the woman, and there are issues of conflict with the Catholic Church over certain of Pelosi’s views.

Pelosi’s aide then said, “Look, I’ll write a check here and now for a donation of $10,000 to your church if you’ll just tell the congregation you see Pelosi as a saint.”
The Cardinal thought about it and said, “Well, the church can use the money, so I’ll work your request into tomorrow’s sermon.”
As Pelosi’s aide promised, Pelosi appeared for the Sunday worship and seated herself prominently at the forward left side of the center aisle. As promised, at the start of his sermon, the Cardinal pointed out that Pelosi was present.
The Cardinal went on to explain to the congregation, “While Congresswoman Pelosi’s presence is probably an honor to some, the woman is not numbered among my personal favorite personages. Some of her views are contrary to tenets of the Church, and she tends to flip-flop on many other issues.
Nancy Pelosi is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite, a thumb sucker and a nit-wit. Nancy Pelosi is also a serial liar, a cheat, and a thief. I must say, Nancy Pelosi is the worst example of a Catholic I have ever personally witnessed. She married for money and is using her wealth to lie to the American people. She also has a reputation for shirking her Representative obligations both In Washington and in California. The woman is simply not to be trusted.”
The Cardinal concluded, “But, when compared with President Obama, Pelosi is a saint.”

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DAFFYNITIONS & VERBAL ABUSE

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Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.
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Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a sponge.”
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Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

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Biplane: The advice I got from my mother on purchasing underwear.
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Dark Ages: Knight time
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Cistern: Opposite of brethren. 

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Here’s another opportunity for you to help us out.  A plea for help. A begging for funds.  All those things that we hate to do, but are forced to through economically troubled times.  Click on the little blue dragon and it will take you to our paypal donation site. Please help us keep this blog free!  Thanks for all you do!

Donate2

Mt. Vernon Times Headline:

MT. VERNON , TEXAS WHOREHOUSE SUES LOCAL CHURCH OVER LIGHTNING STRIKE!

Diamond D’s brothel began construction on an expansion of their building to increase their ever-growing business. In response, the local Baptist Church started a campaign to block the business from expanding with morning, afternoon and evening prayer sessions at their church. Work on Diamond D’s progressed right up until the week before the grand reopening when lightning struck the whorehouse and burned it to the ground!

After the cathouse was burned to the ground by the lightning strike, the church folks were rather smug in their outlook, bragging about “the power of prayer.”

But late last week ‘Big Jugs’ Jill Diamond, the owner/madame, sued the church, the preacher and the entire congregation on the grounds that the church … “was ultimately responsible for the demise of her building and her business either through direct or indirect divine actions or means.”

In its reply to the court, the church vehemently and voraciously denied any and all responsibility or any connection to the building’s demise.

The crusty old judge read through the plaintiff’s complaint and the defendant’s reply, and at the opening hearing he commented, “I don’t know how the hell I’m going to decide this damn case, but it appears from the paperwork that we now have a whorehouse owner who staunchly believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that thinks it’s all bullshit!”

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Last week we attended a wake for our sister’s ex-husband, who
was well-known for his strong atheist views. When we found out
that his mother made arrangements for his funeral to be held in her
Congregational church, my brother wittily observed: “This brings
the expression ‘over my dead body’ to a whole new dimension!


Artistic Graffitig6g7g8

This is one tough repo lady!  Just give her the damn car!

203

Where’s the Beef? What the Chick-fil-A Boss Really Said
 
So, did you hear about that wild quote that the president of Chick-fil-A didn’t say the other day?
 


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Pun Queen

For a tree pun I had to go out on a limb and branch out to
some other sources.
 
An inebriated orthopedist tried to apply a cast on his patient’s broken arm, but failed as he was plastered.
 
A surgeon operated upon a patient who had a hopelessly gangrenous leg but amputated the patient’s healthy leg instead. The patient sued. The Judge suggested he drop the suit stating, ”You don’t have a leg to stand on.”
 
My kids call their downstairs play area the “wreck room.”
 
Never lie to an x-ray technician. They can see right through you.
 
Gas produced by flatulent cows is a major cause of global warming. Automobiles are equipted with devises to detoxify the gas called cattle-lytic converters. 
 
Dolly Parton’s autobiography is entitled, “My Life Has Been A Really Big Bust”
 
They say not to put all of your eggs in one basket, but I’ll be darned if I am going to roll twelve shopping carts out of the grocery store.
 
“Now, son,” the farmer said to the new farmhand. “Are you sure you know just how long cows should be milked?” “Yep,” said the hired help. “Just the same as short ones.”
 
You may not take a second polygraph test because they can’t be re-lied upon.
 
Our local Catholic church has plans to bring their parishioners to services by bus; they plan to call it mass transit.
 
“Bartender, got any specials today?” “Yes, we mix Pabst Blue Ribbon and Smirnoff Vodka.” “What do you call it?” “A Pap Smear!”
 
A woman rushes into a doctor’s office and says, “Doctor, what should I take when I feel rundown?” The doctor says, “The license plate.”
 
An unemployed jester is nobody’s fool.
 
I can Harley wait to get my motorcycle license.
 
Moses came down with the Ten Amendments,
which were God’s Bill of Wrongs.

Doctors automatically know what’s wrong with you.
They have a sick sense.


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Okay, so this one is old.  I won’t call it a golden oldie cause…well…cause it isn’t.

A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One wet and lusty day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband’s car pull into the driveway.
“Oh My God! Hurry! Grab your clothes,” she yelled to her lover, “and jump out the window. My husband’s home early!”
“I can’t jump out the window!” came the strangled reply from beneath the sheets. “It’s raining out there!”
“If my husband catches us in here, he’ll kill us both!” she replied. “He’s got a very quick temper and a very large gun! The rain is the least of your problems!”
So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window! As he began running down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town’s annual marathon. So he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them. Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to “blend in” as best he could. It wasn’t that effective!
After a little while, a small group of runners, who had been studying him with some curiosity, jogged closer.
“Do you always run in the nude?” one asked.
“Oh, yes!” he replied, gasping for air. “It feels so wonderfully free having the air blow over all your skin while you’re running.”
Another runner moved alongside. “Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?”
“Oh, yes!” our friend answered breathlessly. “That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!”
Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and queried.
“Do you always wear a condom when you run?”
“Only when it’s raining,” he replied.

205

While waiting in line at the bank, a co-worker developed a very loud
case of hiccups. By the time he reached the teller’s window, the hiccups
seemed to have worsened. The teller took my friend’s check and proceeded
to run a computer verification of his account. After a minute she looked
up from her terminal with a frown and said that she would be unable to
cash his check.

“Why not?” my friend asked incredulously.

“I’m sorry, sir,” she replied, “but our computer indicates that you do
not have sufficient funds to cover this amount. As a matter of fact,”
she continued, “our records show your account overdrawn in excess of
$5000.”

“It CAN’T be!” he cried. “You have GOT to be kidding!”

“Yes, I am,” she answered with a big smile, counting out his cash. “But
you will notice that your hiccups are gone.”

Hiding under the mask

Have you ever wondered who is playing the role of a character?
Often, even the most unrealistic characters are well-known actors…
 
 
 
Robert Englund – Freddy Krueger
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Zoe Saldana – Neytiri in the Picture

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Rebecca Romiyn – Mystique in X-Men

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Hugo Weaving – V – for Vendetta

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1aThe following video is a GREAT representation of how the current political regime is concerned more with their own re-election and popularity than they are with the lives of the men and women and their family and friends, who are protecting this country.  You must watch this video.  Which means you are going to have to go to the website to see it.  Our website is http://dragonlaffs.com .  The video is called Dishonorable Disclosures: How Leaks And Politics Threatens National Security.  It’s put together by a group called OPSEC.  Those of you in the military or associated with the military know that this acronym stands for OPERATIONS SECURITY.  The hallmark of keeping our brothers and sisters safe.  As one of the speakers at the end puts it so succinctly, “Shut the fuck up, Mr. President.”  Here’s the video’s own description:

Intelligence and Special Operations forces are furious and frustrated at how President Obama and those in positions of authority have exploited their service for political advantage. Countless leaks, interviews and decisions by the Obama Administration and other government officials have undermined the success of our Intelligence and Special Operations forces and put future missions and personnel at risk.
The unwarranted and dangerous public disclosure of Special Forces Operations is so serious — that for the first time ever — former operators have agreed to risk their reputations and go ‘on the record’ in a special documentary titled “Dishonorable Disclosures.” Its goal is to educate America about serious breaches of security and prevent them from ever happening again.
Use of military ranks, titles & photographs in uniform does not imply endorsement of the Dept of the Army or the Department of Defense. All individuals are no longer in active service with any federal agency or military service.

and here’s the video itself.  Sit back, relax and try to not get so pissed off.  I know that advice didn’t work so well with me.

So?  Are you as pissed as I am?  I hope so.  Truly I do.  Now, go out and enjoy the rest of your day.
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Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Leprechaun Laughs # 154 for Wednesday August 15th 2012

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Don’t mind those guys…TOO much…just don’t make and sudden moves and stay at least 15 feet from the anti sniper shields and all SHOULD be ok. See things were bad enough after I outted Obama on his disrespect for our Constitution, the Military, Veterans , the Holy Bible and Christendom in general two weeks ago, but then I had to follow that up by exposing a massive financial fraud on the part of both the DNC & RNC with regards to the ‘Donate $3 to the Presidential Election” box on your income tax last week by publishing an open letter from Ralph Nader and agreeing with him. Worse yet I called for the removal of the box and for everyone not to check it this year!

Ever since then the hate mail, death threats and shadow sniping (from both the left  and the right now) has increased 10 fold. I went so far as to prevail on some US Marshal contacts to slip me into WITSEC for a while but they said that doesn’t cover political dissidents if you are a US citizen ( another thing we taxpayers foot the bill for for non American apparently) AND I was too hot for them to handle anyway as most of Washington now wants my green ass nailed to a wall after skinning it off my dead corpse and stuffing it with empty political promises.

So I had to get No-name our chief of Corporate Security of lay in some extra security around here. I still have the Valkyre but at the moment they are guarding my escape route out of here in case something happens before the end of the issue.

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IT’S A LIE!! THERE IS NOTHING CAFFINATED THAT’S BETTER THAN COFFEE!

well unless maybe someone makes caffeinated Dark Chocolate

 

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The Golfer and the Surgeon

A golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital.

Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him.

“I have some good news and some bad news,” says the surgeon. “The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!”

“Oh God no!” cries the man. “My golfing is over! Please Doc, what’s the good news?

“The good news is, I have another one to replace it with, but it’s a woman’s arm. I’ll need your permission before I go ahead with the transplant.”

“Go for it doc,” says the man. “As long as I can play golf again.”

The operation went well and a year later the man was out on the golf course when he bumped into the surgeon.

“Hi, how’s the new arm?” asks the surgeon.

“Just great” says the businessman. “I’m playing the best golf of my life.

My new arm has a much finer touch and my putting has really improved.”

“That’s great,” said the surgeon.

“Not only that,” continued the golfer, “my handwriting has improved, I’ve learned how to sew my own clothes and I’ve even taken up painting landscapes in water colors.”

“Unbelievable!” said the surgeon, “I’m so glad to hear the transplant was such a great success. Are you having any side effects?”

“Well, just one problem,” said the golfer, “every time I get an erection, I also get a headache.”

 

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Need some dieting willpower help? Just picture Impish in a tube top and boy shorts expressing his feminine side while doing a Karaoke version of ‘Like a Virgin’! There, SEE? No more appetite right? Oh…sorry about your shoes!

 

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My boss (Impish) gave me a verbal warning for being lazy, ( yeah, I know, stand in awe of the ludicrousness of THAT for a second!) but he sent it via e-mail because he didn’t feel like walking over to my cubicle.

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What? WAIT! Where did that bus come from?

IMPISH! LOOK OUT!

Oh OUCH! That’s gonna be sore in the morning! On the bright side at least it was only a short bus full of liberals and it only clipped him!

SELF EXAMINATION FOR ALZHEIMER’S DISEASE….It takes less than 15 seconds…

If  you are over 45 yrs old, you SHOULD take this Alzheimer’s Test 
How  fast can you guess these words and fill-in the  blanks?


1. _ _NDOM
2. F_ _K 
3. P_N_S
4. PU_S_
5. S_X 
6.  BOO_S

 

 

 

| | | | |  | | | | |
Answers:

1. RANDOM
2.  FORK
3. PANTS
4. PULSE
5. SIX
6.  BOOKS

You got all 6 wrong….didn’t you?

You  do NOT have Alzheimer’s

You are a  Pervert!

 

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Sorry to take a time out here for a commercial, but as Impish said Saturday ,  WordPress is after us again. Now we don’t want to make this into one of those PBS membership drive things where to see the good stuff you have to sit through 20 minutes of begging every 15 minutes of the show. Beside we feel guilty about asking for money as it is but the fact of the matter this blog is NOT self sustaining in the cash department. Were it, you’d never hear from us about money, unless it was how we were donating the excess funds to a worthy charity as we have in the past.

So we’ve come up with a way to assuage our guilt at asking while giving you a way to get something in return for supporting us. Its our Zazzle hosted (thank god at least this one is free)

DragonLaffs Store

We’ve also in deference to the recent death threats and hate mail over our Obama exposures created a mug to mark the occasion.

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Direct link top mug: http://www.zazzle.com/presidental_enemies_numbers_1_2-168787305187513774

This way we get a small donation to defray costs, and you get something to show for your money and show your support of DragonLaffs. Besides you can fill it with COFFEE! What possible better combination could there be?

Won’t you please check out store at: http://www.zazzle.com/dragonlaffsstore* and help support the blog you all profess to love so much?

I’ll even make you a challenge!

If between now and August 31st we can get $100 in contributions between the Paypal link and the DragonLaffs Store I will forgo a single political comment or Obama joke for 2 consecutive issues!

EVEN BETTER YET for each additional $50 in contributions beyond the first $100 I will forgo those jokes and comments an additional week!

Want nothing but a total laugh fest twice a week? Want to see if my head will explode from keeping it all inside? Can I become more insane than Impish already is? Find out the answer to all these vexing questions…Donate now! The ball is in your court!

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One day a woman’s husband died, and on that clear, cold morning in the warmth of their bedroom, the wife was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn’t “anymore”.
No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, no more “just one minute.
Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away, never to return before we can say good-bye, say “I love you.”
So while we have it, it’s best we love it, care for it, fix it when it’s broken and heal it when it’s sick.
This is true for marriage…..And old cars… And children with bad report cards, and dogs with bad hips, and aging parents and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it.
Some things we keep — like a best friend who moved away or a sister-in-law after divorce. There are just some things that make us happy, no matter what.
Life is important, like people we know who are special. And so, we keep them close!
Suppose one morning you never wake up, do all your friends know you love them? Important thing is to let every one of your friends know you love them, even if you think they don’t love you back.

And just in case I’m gone tomorrow, please vote against that asshole Obama!.. ;>)

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3 – Cheese Pizza Snack Mix

A new twist on the old Chex Party Mix recipe!

5 cups Kellogg’s® Crispix® cereal
5 cups Sunshine® Cheez-It® White Cheddar crackers
5 cups pretzel nuggets (I used the cheese filled Pizza flavored kind)
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1/3 cup grated, reduced fat Parmesan cheese
4 teaspoons dry spaghetti sauce seasoning mix in a packet

2 teaspoons garlic powder
2 teaspoons Italian seasoning

1. In 2-gallon, zipper-type, plastic bag combine KELLOGG’S CRISPIX cereal, SUNSHINE CHEEZ-IT crackers and pretzel nuggets.
2. Pour oil over cereal mixture. Close bag and gently toss until evenly coated.
3. In small bowl combine remaining ingredients. Add to cereal mixture. Close bag. Gently toss until evenly coated. Store in airtight container.

I also as the whim takes me toss in those goldfish crackers. Either in a cheddar or one of the two pizza flavors

 

imageOk these photos were in an e-mail I got sans comments. I being the faithful tracker down of stupid stuff to post went and located several sites with the photos and reconstructed the narrative that I apparently did not receive explaining the concept vehicle as best I could. This isn’t unlike those camper sidecars for motorcycles you occasionally see though I think the motorcycle would handle a wider range or terrain and conditions and fair better in an accident!

Camper For One, Please!

One Person Camper APE

Do you know about the Piaggio APE 50? It’s a cute little three wheeled vehicle. The APE is a unique vehicle in that it is exempt from taxes in some countries because of its extremely economical working nature. It is also allowed in certain metropolitan areas that larger cars are not. It uses only a tiny amount of gas.

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The Bufalino, designed by Cornelius Comanns (great name) is a little three-wheeled camper made for a single person. Or two if you like things cozy. Like, really cozy. I’m talking privates touching cozy (the best kind).

the minimalist construction is based on the existing piaggio APE 50 three wheeled light transport vehicle; a model chosen for its economic and fuel efficient benefits.

‘my aim was to give people a better understanding of the country, the surrounding, and the range they have travelled. the travelling vehicle is always with you like some kind of a base camp, while also being used for moving on in an easygoing and spontaneous way.

‘bufalino’ encourages users to explore the surrounding off beaten tracks. meanwhile the furnished interior consisting of a bed, two seating units, a cooking zone, a basin, storage space, a water tank and a refrigerator offers the comforts of a home.

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Called the “Bufalino,” the mini-RV seats two, has a fold-down bed, a stove, a basin that acts like a sink and a tank for water, fridge, and loads and loads of storage space. The only thing it’s missing is a bathroom & shower but you have to wonder why that back couldn’t extend into some kind of ring of canvas where one could stand under an extending shower head or to use a small chemical toilet.

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It’s just a concept right now, but this thing is cool enough that I could see it in production… in a sort of friendlier version of the Road Warrior future. I don’t think it’d fly these days. Of course, there’s no water or bathroom, so you’d have to hitch up somewhere with accessible facilities. Campsite? Sure, as long as there’s wi-fi!

Next damned thing you know the Geek Squad will be trading in their VW Bugs for these damned things!

 

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Mars rover beams back ‘awesome’ shot of surface

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NASA released the first color images of the surface of Mars from its new rover Curiosity last Tuesday, showing a dusty, tan desert dominated by the rim of the crater where the craft landed.

The image — shot at an angle by a camera on Curiosity’s still-stowed robotic arm — shows the sandy plain ahead of the rover and the northern rim of Gale Crater, where the rover touched down early Monday. The image was shot through a retractable, transparent dust shield over the lens, making it “kind of murky,” said Ken Edgett, a senior scientist for the camera’s builder, Malin Space Science Systems.

Controllers wanted to make sure the camera still functioned after Curiosity’s 352-million-mile voyage and harrowing landing early Monday, Edgett told reporters at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, California.

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but what they are NOT releasing is THIS photo which startled all of NASA and once and for all DEFINITIVELY answered ALL questions about the possibility of life on the planet Mars!

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!cid_6C96B098-3BDC-4CBF-A910-EBFBDA97FC1A@local

 

You're_Doing_It_Wrong

Would-be thief gets a taste of small town justice

 

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In this hilarious Star Wars tribute, two Force-wielding cellists battle for musical supremacy using light sabers instead of bows. The elaborate production required 24 hours of filming in front of a green screen and 72 audio tracks.

 

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Did the selection of Paul Ryan as his running mate make you more or less likely to vote for Mitt Romney for President?

38% It makes no difference. I was voting for Romney anyway.

14% It makes no difference. I wasn’t voting for Romney anyway.

19% It makes me MUCH MORE likely to vote for Romney

10% It makes me SOMEWHAT MORE likely to vote for Romney

5% It makes me SOMEWHAT LESS likely to vote for Romney

14% It makes me MUCH LESS likely to vote for Romney

That’s 67% Romney & 33% Obama by my count. We The People have spoken!

 

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No, I don’t have one of these yet.. but I’m saving for one! At $2500 a go for a “bare bones” it might take me a while though!

Dealing With Muslims:

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Two Black Americans were elected to congress this cycle, and both are Republican. Col. West is from southern Florida . He won in a walk.
This new Congressman was an extremely popular commander in Iraq . He was forced to retire because during an intense combat action a few of his men were captured. At the same time his men captured one of the guys who were with the Iraqis who captured his men.
Knowing that time was crucial and his interrogators were not getting anywhere with the prisoner, Col. West took matters into his own hands. He burst into the room and demanded thru an interpreter that the prisoner tell him where his men were being taken. The prisoner refused so Col. West took out his pistol and placed it into the prisoner’s crotch and fired. Then the Col. told the prisoner that the next shot would not miss. So the prisoner said he would show where the American service members were being taken. The Americans were rescued. Someone filed a report on incorrect handling of prisoners. Col. West was forced to retire. Col. West was just elected in November 2010 to Congress from Florida . During the elections he was part of a panel on how to handle or how to relate to Muslims. You will see his answer here explaining in just over a minute the truth about Islam. Please watch and if you agree, please forward it to your friends; if you disagree, hit the delete button.

See? EXACTLY what I have been saying ever since September 11th 2001!

ISLAM IS NOT A RELIGION OF PEACE! IT IS A RELIGON OF CONQUEST AND EVIL!

An evil tree bears evil fruit. You can destroy as much fruit as you want, but it will always grow back, and it will always be evil.

Tear the tree out of the ground by the roots and burn it. Burn it to ash and grind out the embers with your boot until there’s nothing left. Not a single spark. Not a single seed.  This is how you deal with evil.

See Mohammad towards the end of the Koran got more blood thirsty and hard line not because his views of Christians or Jews changed but because he WAS trying to craft a religion of peace in a volatile area and it was backfiring on him. This alienated his own clan who were quite blood thirsty and basically raided and made war to live on guess who? Yup Christians and Jews!

So Mohammad in an attempt to get them back on board bloodied up the last few chapters in total conflict to his earlier teachings/writings and these are the ones that under the rules of abrogation take precedent (when two or more verses conflict, the newest one [generally the violent ones] normally is the valid one) and all the fundamentalist point at as their holy justification for making deadly pains in the ass of themselves.

Due largely to this, until every last radical fundamentalist Muslim is buried on a pig farm wrapped in a pork fat saturated shroud,the body first washed in pigs blood, the Arab world is dragged kicking and screaming into the modern world where is is forced under threat of arms to act in a manner socially and morally acceptable to the modern global society and Mullahs made to adopt another way of resolving conflicting suras other than the rules of abrogation  we will continue to have these problems.

I say its well nigh PAST TIME for another Crusade, this time a global one!

Islam has a choice, moderate, police itself and grow up to modern standards or perish in fire and under our boots as we grind out the embers of the Religion of Intolerance, Hatred, & Bigotry Towards Women or Anything Non-Muslim.

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Why this guy is not Romney’s VP choice I’ll never understand!

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Dragon Laffs #1285

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Adult-Content_thumb1_thumb_thumbGood Morning Campers!  Let’s start today with a little Young thug dragonguessing game.  In this morning’s header, above, are pictures of 4 baby dragons.  One of them is me and the other three are my brothers and/or sisters.  Using the beautiful picture of me now, to the right, which one do you think is me as a baby?  I’ll give you the answer later in the issue.

 

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Why to suffer trying by all means to become rich and wear expensive branded clothes, when best things in life we do naked.

OH MY GOD!!!!  MY BABIES!!!!

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A redneck named Bubba from Georgia decided to travel across the
south to Virginia to see God’S country. When he got to Franklin,
he liked the place so much that he decided to stay.
But first he had find a job!

 

Bubba walked into the International Paper Company office and
filled out an application as an experienced log inspector. It
was his lucky day!! They just happened to be looking for someone
right then.

 

But first, the log foreman took him for a ride into the
forest in the company pickup truck to see how much he knew.
The foreman stopped the truck on the side of the road and pointed
at a tree and said “See that tree over there? I want you to tell me
what species it is and how many board feet of lumber it contains.”
Bubba promptly answered, “That thar’s a white pine, and thar’s
383 board feet of lumber in ‘er.”

 

The foreman was impressed! He put the truck back in gear and started
driving again. He stopped about a mile down the road and pointed at
another tree through the passenger window. The foreman asked the same two
questions as before. This time it was a bigger tree of a different class.
The redneck replied, “That’s a loblolly pine and she’s got about 456 clear board feet.”

 

The foreman was really impressed with this good ol’ boy. This redneck was
quick and he got the answers right without using a calculator!
But the foreman wanted to do one more test.
They drove a little further down the road, and the foreman stopped
the truck again. This time, he pointed across the road and said, “And what about that one?”
Before the foreman could finish pointing, Bubba said,
“White oak, and 242 board feet at best.”

 

The foreman spun the truck around and headed back to the office a
little ticked off because he thinks the redneck is smarter than himself.
As they neared the office, the foreman stopped the truck and asked Bubba
to step out of the truck. The foreman handed the him a piece of chalk and
told the him, “See that tree over there? I want you to mark an “X” on the
front of that tree!!” The foreman thinks to himself,  “Idiot, how will he know
which is the front of a tree?”

 

When Bubba reaches the tree, he walkes around it in a circle
while looking at the ground. He reaches up and places a white “X” on
the trunk. The redneck then walked back to the foreman and
handed him the chalk. “That thar’s the front,” Bubba said.

 

The foreman laughs to himself and asks sarcastically,
“How in hell do you know that’s the front of the tree?”

 

The good ol’ boy looks down at his feet, while rubbing the toe of
his left boot cleaning it in the gravel and replied, “Cuz someone took a
shit behind it!”

 

Bubba got the job.

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Excellent 1 minute ad.  Go to the blog to watch this video.  It’s outstanding!

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DragonPapa1 (159)

YOU HAVE GOT TO WATCH THIS! 
WHAT FUN!
Rita et al and the Bee Gees
Can you  imagine the editing involved in this?
Those were the  days!   Pure JOY!
Its amazing how the music fits the chosen scenes.
A great job of putting clips together with the music.

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I was visiting my son last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper.“
 
This is the 21st century DAD,” he said. “I don’t waste money on newspapers. Here, you can borrow my iPad.
 
I can tell you, that darn fly never knew what hit it!

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The Polish Club Championship

Stan and Stosh are standing on the 18th tee at their Polish Country Club.  They are the final twosome in the Polish Country Club Championship and are tied for the lead.  The 18th hole is a beautiful par four with a deep valley descending down to a dogleg right.

Both Stan and Stosh hit long, straight tee shots which disappear down into the valley.  A short time later, the fore caddie appears at the top of the hill and announces that both balls are within a foot of each other, but there’s a problem.  Both of the golf balls are Titleist #4s.

Stan and Stosh look at each other and realize that they had not informed each other as to what kind of ball they were playing, nor its number.  They quickly descend into the valley and, sure enough, their two Titlist golf balls are right next to each at the bottom of the valley in the middle of the fairway.

Stosh looks at Stan and says, ” We had better get a ruling from a tournament official to straighten this out”.”This is the Polish Country Club Championship and we don’t want to be disqualified for making a mistake and hitting the wrong ball”.  “After all, we are tied for the lead”.

Soon after, a rules official appears and examines the two #4 Titlist golf balls.  He then looks up at Stan and Stosh and says, “Which one of you would be playing the orange ball”.

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Impish Dragon slowly walked into an Ice Cream Parlor close to the offices of DL&LL Electronic Media, LLC.  He shuffled up to a stool and painfully eased himself up.  After catching his breath, Impish asked the waitress for an ice cream sundae.

The waitress gently asked, “Crushed nuts?”

“No,” Impish replied, “arthritis.”

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We all know it’s not true…but it’s funny anyway…

Q: Why are Democrats better than Republicans in bed?
A: You’ve never heard of getting a good piece of elephant, have you?

It’s an Olympic games joke…
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Mitt Romney attended the Olympics opening ceremony in London
Friday before his trips to Israel and Poland. He’s rehearsing in
case he’s elected. It’s important for America’s leaders to talk to
other countries, because they’re the ones who have all the jobs.


President Obama was chided by a Romney aide who said he doesn’t
understand our Anglo-Saxon traditions. He’s not a fan of those
traditions. The historic Magna Carta that limits the powers of the
king directly conflicts with at least six of his executive orders.


A church official, Monsignor William Lynn, has been sentenced to
prison for covering up priest’s sex crimes. He has been sentenced
to 3-to-6 years in federal prison and four to five years of coaching
at Penn State.


Scotland announced that it will legalize gay marriage. I don’t know
what’s bigger news, that Scotland did that or that a country where
guys wear plaid skirts didn’t already have gay marriage.

Okay, so some of them were in really poor taste….but still funny!

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Motivational Sarcasm

Motivational Sh t Happens

Motivational She Starts

Motivational Ski Lit

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HEALTH MESSAGE

As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world,
I rapidly realized that I don’t really give a crap. It’s the tortoise life
for me!
1. If walking/cycling is good for your health, the postman would be
immortal.
2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat.
3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.
4. A tortoise doesn’t run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years.
And you tell me to exercise?? I don’t think so.
I’m retired. Go around me!

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A golden oldie and probably the worst blonde joke of all time.  What else could you possibly ask for?

Sarah comes skipping home from school one day. “Mummy,” she says, “we were counting today and all the other children could only count to four, but I counted to 10. Like this – 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.”

“Very good, dear,” says her mother.


“Is it because I’m blonde, mummy?” Sarah asks. 


“Yes, it’s because you’re blonde,” replies her mother. 


The next day, Sarah comes skipping home from school. “Mummy,” she says, “we were saying the alphabet today and all the other children could only say it to D, but I said it to G. Like this – A, B, C, D, E, F, G.”


“Very good, dear,” says her mother.


“Is it because I’m blonde, mummy?”


“Yes, it’s because you’re blonde,” replies her mother. 


The next day Sarah comes skipping home from school. “Mummy,” she says, “we were in gym class today and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I don’t. Like this.” And Sarah lifts her tank top to reveal a firm pair of breasts. 


“Very good, dear,” says her embarrassed mother.


“Is it because I’m blonde, mummy?”


“No dear, it’s because you’re 24.”

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My Favorite all time Ronald Regan Clip

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“I’ll never find the right guy,” I heard the young guest at the wedding shower sigh. “Don’t give up,” urged an older woman. “Every pot has a lid.” “Or,” a cynical voice behind her offered, “you could just be a skillet.”

I was born by Caesarean section, but you really can’t tell, except that when I leave my house, I always go out the window.

  
When one slow set of golfers allows another faster group to play through ahead of them, that’s really the fairway.
 
1a1We had a transvestite letter carrier. He was arrested for male fraud.
 
 
It’s a lengthy article on Japanese Sword Fighters but I can Samurais it for you.
 
I can never wear glasses. They make me see-sick.
 
People read gossip columns to get the lowdown on their higher ups.
 
‘There was considerable consternation among the big cats in the Coliseum when it was learned that the tigers were taking the lions’ share of the prophets.
 
When I worked for the laundry, I would go daily to the convent to ask the sisters if they had any dirty habits.
 
An inebriated orthopedist tried to apply a cast on his patient’s broken arm, but failed as he was plastered.

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The Holy Email

The other day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the wicked behavior going on…He sent one of his angels to earth to look into it.

When the angel returned, he told God, “Yes, it is bad on earth; 85% are misbehaving and only
15% are being good.”

God was not pleased so he decided to e-mail the 15% that were good, because he wanted to encouragethem and give them a little something to help keep them going.

Do you know what the e-mail said?

NO?


Okay, I was just wondering because I didn’t get one either.

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Today’s Last Word is going to cover a couple of different topics.  So, without further ado, let’s get into it…Part 1

Since we asked the question in the opening, it’s only right that I give you the answer to the question in the Last Word…
and the answer is…
The baby picture that is me is…
Are you ready for this????
The one furthest to the right….
Is NOT me!
(ha,ha, gotcha with that one, didn’t I?)
The first one to the left…
Isn’t me either!
Ha! Ha!
I can see that the anticipation is killing you!
Okay, so it’s either the second from the left or the second from the right…
Right or left?
Left or right?
Far be it from me to EVER be on the left of ANY issue, so yes, IT’S THE SECOND FROM THE RIGHT!!!!
How many of you got it right?
Raise your hands… no…keep them up… one, two, three, um…four … uh … everyone?  Everyone got it right?  Really?  It was that easy?  Did Lethal give it away?  No?
Dang!  I really thought all of us looked so much alike that no one would be able to tell us apart!  Geez!

Part 2…
Well, it’s that time of year again.  Time to pay the piper…also known as the wordpress people for the pleasure of hosting our blog.  So, again (I hate this part) it’s time to ask for your donations to help us keep this newsletter ad free.  You all have been so very generous in the past with your donations, and I truly dislike asking for more, but we aren’t generating income on our little experiment here like we thought we would by this time, so…
At the top right hand corner of the blog is a place that looks like this:

CaptureIf you click on the words (in purple here, but probably blue on your computer) it will take you to a paypal site where you can use your own paypal account, a credit card, bank account, or a debit card.  And if that doesn’t work for you, you can write to me at impishdragon@gmail.com and I can give you an address to send a check.  I would REALLY prefer that you go to the website at dragonlaffs.com to donate, but if you must…if it’s between not donating if you have to go to the website, then you should be able to click here: https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=4X2MEADWHBYE8 and it will take you to the same place.  But, we get hit credits for everyone who visits the website…which is also why we try to get everyone to read the newsletter on the blog site instead of in the email.
Okay, enough pleas for money for right now.  But I’m sure this isn’t the last you will see of this topic.

Part 3…  I really thought I’d have some pictures of last weeks war games by now, but I only have a couple that I personally took on my cell phone. So, of course, none of me…yet.  Stay tuned for this area for further developments.  In the mean time, here’s a couple to get you by.

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Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments

Leprechaun Laughs # 153 for Wednesday August 8th 2012

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 What? Oh them? Those are just my Valkyrie  Bodyguards. Well either they are Valkryie or the damned hottest meanest and sexist Seraphim I’ve ever encountered.   All I know is impish tried his “poke, sniff & lick” ploy and nearly lost several parts of himself in retaliation. Even No-name our fearsome Head of Corporate Security won’t come up to my office anymore, or let me anywhere near his with them in tow. He Skypes me now and always lets me know its from a secure hidden location. Makes me sort of wonder if he dated one of them or one of them is his ex-wife or something. I’m getting off topic however in my musings.

Seems my laying out what Obama has done to the American populace at large last week garnered me a few (more) enemies (huge surprise THAT) and no small amount of animosity among the liberal entitlement minded delusional ‘Obama is the Messiah Sect’. Someone even gave the issue a one star rating. I felt such a gesture was deserved of a response so I poste3d an open comment to that person in the comments section. For those of you who missed that, or those of you who still refuse to read this on the blog as Dragon & Leprechaun intended (thanks BTW for making our lives that much harder by making us have to do things twice) here are those comments in their entirety again. IF you have already read them feel free to scroll on down until you hit coffee whilst grumbling with me about luddites and their quaint but oh so irritating hind bound ways.

TO THE ANONYMOUS INDIVIDUAL THAT GAVE TODAY’S POST A ONE STAR RATING:

I can only surmise this was due to the subject matter of my ‘Parting Shot’ feature and that you are probably one of our token liberals who constantly whine, cry and fuss about our treatment of Obama in the comments and then soundly get taken to school every time.

I’m sure that it is as annoying and embarrassing for you as it is bothersome and time consuming for me to do it and prove that what I have used are straight facts. I can only conclude you have switched to the much more time saving method of sniping me from the shadows with one star ratings. Democrats & Liberals are very adept at this tactic and in fact well know for it.

Unfortunately your attempt to discourage me, irritate me or otherwise cause me a negative emotional outcome has failed. See I look at that one star you gave the Posting and then I remember 2 quotes:

“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.” – Sir Winston Churchill

and then this one:

“The attacks are coming on the people who are telling the truth. …

If you have not been attacked, then you are probably not over the target.

If you have not been attacked, you probably are not doing anything,
because those that are telling the truth are getting attacked. …

Look back at those who are pointing the finger and I think you’ll see
who the real bad guys are.” – Joyce Riley from The Power Hour, 8/28/2006

and suddenly I’m not depressed over that One Star rating I am rather ELATED over it and encouraged to keep speaking the plain blunt truth about our Government and our President. Not just now, not just until the elections but for as long as I live, draw breath and can find a way to get my thoughts expressed and out in public forums.

To paraphrase the Apostle John: in the words of the prophet Isaiah: “I am a voice shouting in the wilderness, Clear the way for the WE THE PEOPLE are coming and we want out Country our Government, our Sovereignty, our State’s Rights our Pride and our RESPECT back!'” Like Dylan Thomas I do not plan on going gently (or silently) into the night that is the decline of your Country at the hands of Obama or his liberal lackeys. I plan to rage, rage, rage against that night and then suddenly sit up at my own funeral to rage yet again one final time.

I took an oath to protect this country against all enemies, both foreign and domestic. In fact I have taken that oath a total of six times and every time has simply added to my commitment to uphold that oath using what ever means and weapons are at hand and appropriate to the enemy. So snipe on from the shadows who ever you are rather than face me on open debate in a public forum. Your One Star ratings are worth 100 “Atta boys” to me each and every time because it means you acknowledge the futility of your position and support of Obama which tells me I’m not only on the right track but making progress as well.

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WHO HASN’T HAD ONE OF THESE PEOPLE AROUND THEM????? I KNOW I HAVE.…

After a very busy day, a commuter settled down in her seat and closed her eyes as the train departed Montreal for Hudson.

As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice: “Hi sweetheart it’s Eric, I’m on the train – yes, I know it’s the six thirty and not the four thirty but I had a long meeting – no, honey, not with that floozy from the accounts office, with the boss. No sweetheart, you’re the only one in my life – yes, I’m sure, cross my heart” etc., etc.

Fifteen minutes later, he was still talking loudly, when the young woman sitting next to him, who was obviously angered by his continuous diatribe, yelled at the top of her voice: ”Hey, Eric, turn off that stupid phone and come back to bed!”

Eric doesn’t use his cell phone in public any longer.

I’m a dude and I would have done it to Eric! By the time I got done his girlfriend/wife would not have been worried over the floozy from the accounts office but rather which team he was playing for!

 MAn Stick

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Is Wal-Mart Destroying America? 20 Facts About Wal-Mart That Will Absolutely Shock You

America absolutely loves Wal-Mart.  100 million customers visit Wal-Mart every single week in this country.  But is Wal-Mart good for America?  That is a question that most people never stop and ask.  Most of us love shopping in big, clean stores that are packed with super cheap merchandise, but the truth is that Wal-Mart is destroying America in a lot of ways.  As you will see below, Wal-Mart has destroyed tens of thousands of small businesses and countless manufacturing jobs over the past couple of decades.  Wal-Mart has become a gigantic retail behemoth that sells five times more stuff than any other retailer in the United States.  Unfortunately, about 85 percent of all the stuff sold at Wal-Mart is made overseas.  What that is costing the U.S. economy in terms of lost jobs and lost revenue is incalculable.  But Wal-Mart is a perfect example of where our economic system is headed.  Our economy is becoming completely and totally dominated by highly centralized monolithic predator corporations that ruthlessly crush all competition and that will stoop to just about anything in order to cut costs.  In the future, will we all be working for gigantic communal entities that funnel all of the wealth and economic rewards to a very tiny elite?  That sounds very much like how communist China works, and red-blooded Americans should want no part of that.  America is supposed to be about free enterprise and competition and working together to build up this country, and Wal-Mart is destroying all of that.

The following are 20 facts about Wal-Mart that will absolutely shock you….

#1 The average U.S. family now spends more than $4000 a year at Wal-Mart.

#2 In 2010, Wal-Mart had revenues of 421 billion dollars.  That amount was greater than the GDP of 170 different countries including Norway, Venezuela and the United Arab Emirates.

#3 If Wal-Mart was a nation, it would have the 23rd largest GDP in the world.

#4 Wal-Mart now sells more groceries than anyone else in America does.  In the United States today, one out of every four grocery dollars is spent at Wal-Mart.

#5 Amazingly, 100 million customers shop at Wal-Mart every single week.

#6 Wal-Mart has opened more than 1,100 ”supercenters” since 2005 alone.

#7 Today, Wal-Mart has more than 2 million employees.

#8 If Wal-Mart was an army, it would be the second largest military on the planet behind China.

#9 Wal-Mart is the largest employer in 25 different U.S. states.

#10 According to the Economic Policy Institute, trade between Wal-Mart and China resulted in the loss of 133,000 manufacturing jobs in the United States between 2001 and 2006.

#11 The CEO of Wal-Mart makes more in a single hour than a full-time Wal-Mart associate makes in an entire year.

#12 Tens of thousands of Wal-Mart employees and their children are enrolled in Medicaid and are dependent on the government for healthcare.

#13 Between 2001 and 2007, the value of products that Wal-Mart imported from China grew from $9 billion to $27 billion.

#14 Sadly, about 85 percent of all the products sold at Wal-Mart are made outside of the United States.

#15 It is being reported that about 80 percent of all Wal-Mart suppliers are in China at this point.

#16 Amazingly, 96 percent of all Americans now live within 20 miles of a Wal-Mart.

#17 The number of “independent retailers” in the United States declined by 60,000 between 1992 and 2007.

#18 According to the Center for Responsive Politics, Wal-Mart spent 7.8 million dollars on political lobbying during 2011.  That number does not even include campaign contributions.

#19 Today, Wal-Mart has five times the sales of the second largest U.S. retailer (Costco).

#20 The combined net worth of six members of the Walton family is roughly equal to the combined net worth of the poorest 30 percent of all Americans.

All over the country, independent retailers are going out of business because they cannot compete with Wal-Mart and their super cheap Chinese products.  Often communities will give Wal-Mart huge tax breaks just to move in to their areas.  But what many communities don’t take into account is that the introduction of a Wal-Mart is often absolutely devastating to small businesses….

A study of small and rural towns in Iowa showed lost sales for local businesses ranging from -17.2% in small towns to -61.4% in rural areas, amounting to a total dollar loss of $2.46 BILLION over a 13-year period.

When we buy stuff made by people working for slave labor wages in China, we destroy good paying American jobs and we make America poorer.  This is a point that I have tried to makeover and over.

Wal-Mart often tells one thing to the public and then does another thing in private.  Sadly, the truth is that Wal-Mart does not care about U.S. manufacturing jobs.  Wal-Mart just wants to get products as cheaply as they possibly can, and most of the time that means getting them from China.

Just check out this first-hand testimony from an 81-year-old retired apparel manufacturer….

I was president of the Southwestern Apparel Manufacturers Association. There was a meeting sometime between 1985 and 1990. Wal-Mart had contacted our organization and asked if they could meet with us at our beautiful Apparel Mart we had here in Dallas, which has now been razed, because all the independent merchants don’t exist that used to come to it. Two people from Wal-Mart came down and they said they were going to be sourcing goods from overseas and we would have to meet those prices for consumer products and to get ready for it—we are going to be sourcing the world. Wal-Mart was the only company that came out and said this.

It was sort of shocking: I was selling them some merchandise at the time. On the back of their trucks it was saying “Bring it Back to America!” They had the big “keep it in America” program going at that time on the big signs in the stores. Meanwhile when I reminded the buyer of that, she told me, “that is just for domestic consumption, we’re going to buy at the cheapest we can anywhere on earth.”

As I have written about previously, the United States has lost more than 56,000 manufacturing facilities since 2001.

We are losing millions of good jobs that cannot be replaced.  If you can believe it, the United States has actually lost an average of about 50,000 manufacturing jobs a month since China joined the World Trade Organization in 2001.

Last year, the U.S. trade deficit with China was the biggest trade deficit that one nation has had with another nation in the history of the world, and Wal-Mart played a huge role in that.

In fact, Wal-Mart has actually been forcing some U.S. manufacturers to pack up and move overseas.  The following is from a recent article by Amy Traub….

Wal-Mart’s market power is so immense that the even the largest suppliers must comply with its demands for lower and lower prices because they cannot afford to have their goods taken off its shelves. Companies that used to manufacture products in the United States, from Levi’s jeans to lock maker Master Lock, were pressured to shut their U.S. factories and moved manufacturing abroad to meet Wal-Mart’s demand for low prices.

Unfortunately, the vast wealth that Wal-Mart is sucking out of our communities is not put back into our communities.  The profits are funneled out to Wal-Mart executives and shareholders.  We may enjoy the low prices, but very little of the money that we give to Wal-Mart gets recycled in our local areas.

In the old days, you could actually support a family selling electronics or running a general store.  But you can’t support a family working at Wal-Mart.  The vast majority of the jobs that Wal-Mart creates are very low paying.  Large numbers of Wal-Mart employees are actually on welfare, and this is part of the reason why we have seen such an explosion in the number of the working poor in America.

At this point, more than 40 percent of all jobs in America are low wage jobs and the middle class is rapidly disappearing.

If we do not support American jobs and American manufacturers they will continue to go away and the welfare rolls in this country will continue to explode.

There is not going to be any prosperity in this country without jobs.  Unfortunately, most Americans simply do not understand how good jobs are being systematically destroyed in America every single day.

The path that America is headed on today is only going to end in complete and total disaster.  We are being transformed from a wealthy nation into a poor nation.  In the end, we will be dominated by a very tiny elite and everyone else will either be among the working poor or will be totally dependent on the government.

Our system is supposed to be about open, honest competition.  But that is not what Wal-Mart is about.  Wal-Mart is about crushing small businesses and manufacturers here in America and getting us all to buy their super cheap Chinese-made goods.

Shame on Wal-Mart.  They are an un-American disgrace.

imageIt’s Wal-Mart Dude and they’ve come for your small businesses!

And if all this isn’t enough proof of the kind of damage Wal-Mart is doing to America, as further proof I offer the horror that is ….

WAL-MARTIANS!

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See my point? Wal-Mart is responsible for the epidemic of these (should be) illegal fashion faux-pasliens !

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PSA

FDA Recalls

Most people tend to hear about food or drug recalls only when there’s news of a contamination. Often, it’s after somebody has gotten seriously ill or has died.

Would it surprise you to know that there have been more than 230 FDA recalls this year? In the month of July alone, there were more than 40. It’s important to stay abreast of the latest recall news before you ingest a contaminated product.

Drugsdb.com includes a constantly updated news feed of every FDA recall and safety alert. It lists which food or drug items are affected, the manufacturer and distributor, as well as what contagion or hazard they are contaminated with.

You can also keep track of the number of recalls by month and year. A running counter of the companies with the most FDA product recalls is also kept.

http://www.drugsdb.com/resources/fda-recalls/

Thanks to KimKommado’s Cool Site of the Day for this important tip!

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The Top 5 Things You Can Learn About Sex by Watching the Olympics

5> Like sex, there’s a lot more to water polo than simply thrashing around and slamming your balls between the uprights.

4> You prepare for it your whole life, but the moment is over in mere seconds.

3> Shaving reduces friction.

2> Compliment a female weight lifter on her snatch at your own risk.

and the Number 1 Thing You Can Learn About Sex by Watching the Olympics…

1> Watching the experts and following along by yourself at home is often more gratifying than actually participating.

[ Copyright 2008 by Chris White/HumorLabs.com ]

 

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If you use medication for erectile dysfunction and have an erection lasting more than four hours, go to this WEB SITE for immediate relief.

 

hnChRT1311546561

Today’s Irish Introspection is sort of a graphics based commentary on the ridiculous BS going on over the President of Chick-Fil-A exercising his right to have a point of view and express it with regard to the highly sensitive and controversial subject of Gay Marriage.

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John Goodman weighs in on Chick-fil-A controversy—as Colonel Sanders (VIDEO)

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I am for freedom and equality, including freedom and equality for the gay population.
Having said that, I agree that everyone should exercise their freedom of speech and should be equally respected for their beliefs.

I’m totally against this non-sense political brouhaha against Chick-Fil-A. They are NOT refusing service to gays, they are against gay marriage, so?… If you don’t like it, go eat chicken somewhere else and if you don’t like the rules of the BOY scouts, go start the gay scouts. Why do gays think everyone should change to fit them?

Actually, Huckabee came up with this idea AFTER state/local government officials began promising (threatening) Chick-Fil-A with using their governmental power/authority to retaliate against the chain because they didn’t like the CEO’s “bigoted” belief in the traditional Biblical view of marriage. So WHO is attempting discrimination against who?

Religion is on a quest to take over America, one law at a time, with wanton and total disregard of who their actions may be harming.  Because they disagree with something, it means everyone should disagree with it, and that’s a good enough reason to make it illegal. That’s not the way it works, folks. Disagree with equal marriage rights? Then don’t marry someone of the same sex, and you’re fine.

2012-07-31-humor-2 

polarbrears

Talk about being masters of the art of chillin’ & grillin’!

Got a related twofer today since neither one by themselves wastes much time.

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To find out how much Southern blood your speech shows, simply choose the words you use below, then press “Compute My Score!” at the end. alphaDictionary will compute your score and tell you where you’re coming from: are y’all speaking Bubbaese or are youse guys Yankee Doodle Dandies? The higher your score, the deeper from the South you are coming.

http://www.alphadictionary.com/articles/yankeetest.html

Lethal’s Score: 13% Dixie. Wow! You are a Duke of Yankeedom!

Molly’s Score:   65% Dixie.Well  under the Mason-Dixon Line

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Here is what everyone has been asking for: The Advanced Rebel-Yankee Test! 20 more questions that delve even more deeply into the variations in American speech. The new test is based on comments and suggestions made by the 3000 people who wrote us about the first test. We hope this test incorporates your favorite accent feature.

To find out how much Southern blood your speech shows, simply choose the words below that you or the people in your region use, then press “Compute My Score!” at the end. alphaDictionary will tell you where you’re coming from and how much of the Yankee or Southerner is in you. As with the beginner’s test, the higher your score, the deeper from the South you are coming.

http://www.alphadictionary.com/articles/yankeetest_advanced.html

Lethal’s Score: 16% Dixie. Wow! You are a Duke of Yankeedom!

Molly’s Score:   68% Dixie.  Well under the Mason-Dixon Line

OK well no big surprises there though I am showing some signs of Southern/Texan Contamination in my Blue-bellied-Yankee blood and speech.  I suppose that’s to be expected after an 11 year near constant exposure to Southern/Texas talk. What I DID find interesting is that I’ve apparently had a bigger effect on Molly’s speech than she has had on mine!

Post your scores in the comments section and lets see is youse guys is Rebels or Yankees.

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Obamatime

http://iowntheworld.com/blog/?p=142516

well then by his own logic…

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When the prez of the U.S. stands up and says that “you didn’t build that, someone else did” he insulted every businessman that ever started a business and tried to run a successful business. It’s time we stood up and say “NO, Mr. President, you are wrong. I built this business.” If you have a marquee or a sign board you owe it to your country to answer back. This is someone’s answer to Obama.

!cid_BB081B632D3B4D3AB5760AD978F3D2B7@MaryHatcherPC

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The funny thing is it was his own Presidential brand of Bullshit he was choking on! 

Order Banner

I’m going to dispense with the Middle Ages Royal frippery as it takes quite a while to write and I suspect is largely lost on most of you instead getting right to the heart of the matter by speaking ‘da plain’ ( or is it ‘de plane- de plane!’?).

Our newest Knight of the order comes from a corporation places like Wal-Mart, Target, K-Mart and other brick and mortar competitors for your purchasing dollars love to whine& cry about while vilifying them as the down fall of America. [I’m pretty sure I showed above that Walton family does FAR more damage than his guy] His name is Jeff Bezos, the Founder & CEO of Amazon.com.

Amazon was recently named the #1 Top Military Friendly Employer by G.I. Jobs Magazine.

“We value the leadership experience that military veterans have brought to Amazon, and we’re honored that G.I. Jobs has named Amazon the #1 Military Friendly Employer for 2012,” said Dave Clark, vice president of Amazon’s North American Operations

“We have a dedicated military program that has helped hundreds of veterans transition into the civilian workforce and build their careers at Amazon, and we’re actively recruiting for even more veterans to join our company.”

The list of 100 companies represents the top 2% of more than 5,000 eligible companies whose annual revenues exceeded $500 million. Criteria included the strength of company military recruiting efforts, the percentage of new hires with prior military service, retention efforts, and company policies toward National Guard and Reserve service.

The military produces approximately 400,000 new civilian workers annually, making “military alumni” one of the largest, and arguably most valuable, sources of renewable and skilled talent in the country.

Not un-coincidentally Amazon is our newest inductee into the role of Hospitaliters as well.

From GIJobs.com:

On Point with Amazon

Get your résumé ready – this e-commerce monster is shopping for more amazon warriors. 

The recession hasn’t slowed down Amazon one bit. In fact, quite the opposite. The company that Jeff Bezos launched as an online bookstore in 1995 has grown into a cyber merchant of every imaginable product. Through 2010 and 2011, as the economy struggled to recover and analysts debated the likeliness of a “double dip” recession, Amazon posted record sales.

While profits dipped a bit in 2011 as Amazon invested heavily in the Kindle Fire – the tablet computer expected to give the iPad its first serious competition – and 17 new fulfillment centers, the company is focused on sustained, long-term growth. That translates to tens of thousands of jobs, and military talent tops the list of Amazon recruiters’ wish list.

“Thousands of soldiers are returning from Iraq and Afghanistan this year, and we’re proud to offer opportunities for them to join the hundreds of veterans already working in the Amazon fulfillment network,” said Dave Clark, vice president of Amazon’s North American Operations.

Amazon has a team of military recruiters, made up of veterans from all branches of the Armed Forces, that helps veterans transition into the civilian work force and find job opportunities within the company. Amazon also offers an internal network of military veterans to provide mentoring and support as new veterans transition into the company.

G.I. Jobs spoke to Phil Dana, a former Navy warfare surface officer who now serves as Human Resources manager of military recruiting for North America Operations, about why Amazon recruits veterans and where you can find the hottest job opportunities.

G.I. Jobs: What does it mean to be ranked the No. 1 Military Friendly Employer in the world?

Dana: Amazon has long supported military veterans as an employer, and it’s an honor to be recognized by G.I. Jobs magazine. We actively recruit U.S. military veterans to join our organization and provide them with programs to help them be successful once they’re on board.

G.I. Jobs: What makes Amazon the most Military Friendly Employer®?

Dana: We actively recruit U.S. military veterans, but also work hard to provide several programs that help them transition more easily into the civilian work force once they’re working within the company. Once they’re on board, every veteran is connected with our vast network of military veterans to receive mentoring and support.

G.I. Jobs: Why does Amazon recruit military veterans?

Dana: Amazon strives to be Earth’s most customer-centric company, and to get there, we need exceptionally talented and innovative leaders that can drive change and deliver results. We value the leadership skills and technical expertise that military veterans bring to our organization – they know how to take care of people and be mission-focused.

G.I. Jobs: When did Amazon begin recruiting military veterans?

Dana: Amazon has long supported military veterans as an employer.

G.I. Jobs: You listed “area manager” as your hottest job opportunity for veterans in 2012. Briefly describe the responsibilities of an area manager.

Dana: Area managers lead large teams of associates inside of fulfillment centers throughout the U.S., and overseas. They are responsible for meeting dynamic productivity rates, leading a culture of safety as our number one priority, motivating and developing associates, and exceeding our customer’s expectations.

G.I. Jobs: Why is this position an ideal fit for veterans?

Dana: The position of area manager is a “rubber meets the road, roll up your sleeves, and jump into the fire” type of leadership role – the kind of role that resonates with military veterans. It poses dynamic challenges, where no day is the same.  It’s demanding and rewarding.  In this role, you’ll have a big goal, with little guidance, so it requires the ability to be nimble and make analytic decisions based on what you see at that specific moment.  

G.I. Jobs: What skills or education are required for this position?

Dana: We require a degree, a track record of progression and success, and leading large teams in a fast-paced environment.

G.I. Jobs: What is the average starting salary for an area manager?

Dana: We have the ability to make a compensation package work for the individual through a combination of base salary, bonuses, and Restricted Stock Units.

G.I. Jobs: Is this position best suited for transitioning JMOs, or is it a good fit for junior and senior enlisted personnel as well?

Dana: We have hired several different backgrounds and ranks for this position, from NCOs coming out of top-tier MBA programs, SNCOs, JMOs, and senior officers.  In 2011 alone, we hired veterans from all ranks – from lance corporal to brigadier general.

G.I. Jobs: What kind of careers can transitioning junior and senior enlisted military personnel expect to find at Amazon?

Dana: Amazon is a diverse company with many business units – we have tens of thousands of positions available, and we encourage veterans to work with our military recruiters to translate their skills into a great fit at Amazon.

G.I. Jobs: Why should a veteran choose to work at Amazon?

Dana: Amazon has a culture of customer obsession, and our employees are committed to working hard, having fun and making history. Every employee has the opportunity to innovate and own interesting projects, and every tool that veterans acquired in the military will be used to meet those challenges head-on.

G.I. Jobs: What advice do you have for transitioning military who want to pursue a civilian career at Amazon?

Dana: Apply via our military career site and connect with our military recruiters: http://www.gijobs.com/amazon.

G.I. Jobs: Amazon has experienced explosive growth despite the worst recession since the Great Depression. What is the outlook for the next couple of years?

Dana: It’s still Day One at Amazon. One of the coolest things about working here is being able to collaborate and build with the world’s brightest minds. 

http://www.gijobs.com/whos-hiring-veterans.aspx

 

 

Can't Fix Stupid

Vermont man uses tractor to flatten 8 police cars

Police say a man drove a tractor over eight police vehicles Thursday. The damage is estimated to be about $250,000.

By Andrew Mach, NBC News

A man driving a farm tractor ran over eight vehicles in the parking lot of a Vermont police station in an apparent revenge scheme, according to local reports.

Police said Roger Pion, 34, of Newport, Vt., flattened seven marked police cruisers and one unmarked personal vehicle at the Orleans County Sheriff’s Department in Derby, Vt., around 12:40 p.m. Thursday. 

“We came out and sure enough there was someone who had run over our cruisers with a tractor,” Chief Dep. Philip Brooks of the Orleans County Sheriff’s Dept. told WCAX.

Not only were their roofs and hoods caved in, but “the radios are ruined, the radar detectors, the cages in the cars … We’re going to have to get the jaws of life up here to pry the trunks open and see about the rifles and shotguns,” Sheriff Kirk Martin told the Associated Press.

With the vehicles crushed, police had no way to pursue Pion after he drove off in the tractor.

Demian Warner / The Newport Daily Express

Police say Roger Pion took out more than half of the sheriff department’s fleet — some of its newest vehicles were only four months old.

“It felt like I was in a Monster Jam rally or something,” witness Rene Morris told WCAX. “I just couldn’t believe it. He’s backing up, going over it, turns around, makes his way to the other vehicles smashes those up, did his business and headed right down Route 5.”

Police eventually caught up with Pion a mile and a half from the police station and arrested him. The motive is still under investigation, but witnesses believe Pion was angry about his recent arrest for marijuana possession and resisting arrest.

Stephanie Dasaro / Vermont State Police

Police arrested Roger Pion of Newport, V.T., after the tractor incident. He also was arrested recently for marijuana possession and resisting arrest.

The damage is estimated to be about $250,000, according to police.

No one was injured. At least two deputies had gone inside a few moments before after washing their vehicles, officers said.

Brooks said the destroyed vehicles constituted more than half of the fleet of sheriff’s cruisers in the rural county on the Canadian border. The others were out on patrol. Since the incident, neighboring counties have offered their help.

“We have other county sheriff’s departments who are offering cruisers to us,” Brooks said. “We’ve already had one county that’s dropped one off to us and we’ve got two others that are on the way.”

It’s not known where Pion got the tractor but police said he comes from a farm family.

Demian Warne / The Newport Daily Express

Police don’t know where Pion got the tractor from but say he comes from a farm family.

Pion was held at the Northern State Correctional Center in Newport in lieu of $15,000 bail.

He is expected to appear in Orleans County Criminal Court Friday to answer to seven counts of felony unlawful mischief, one count of misdemeanor unlawful mischief, one count of aggravated assault on a law enforcement officer, one count of gross negligent operation, and one count of leaving the scene of an accident. 

How can you be charged with leaving the scene of an accident when it was NOT an accident but a deliberate premeditated act?

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Today’s Parting Shot Requires not only a banner but a disclaimer, as well as (possibly) several other labels and qualifying comments to set up so bare with me please

caution offensive tgry Harder

This warning is meant for BOTH political parties today

 

RALPH NADER: An open letter to RNC Chair Reince Priebus and DNC Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz

Published: Monday, August 06, 2012

Having grown up literally one town over from Ralph Nader in Connecticut his book, his “Nader’s Raiders exploits” and his political views were always covered prominently and in depth in the local papers. IT’s always been my belief that he went from relevant Consumer Activist and Champion to ‘colorful local politically pissing up a rope guy’ though admittedly he has never forgotten his hometown and done his level best to use his fame and influence to help the people of Winsted.

I never was in agreement with Mr. Nader about much of his politics or his views on them, that is until this piece appeared in Monday’s local paper back home.

Chairman Reince Priebus
Republican National Committee
Phone number:202-863-8500
Fax number: 202-863-8773

Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz
Democratic National Committee:
Phone number: 202-479-5100 ‎
Fax number: 202-226-2052

Dear Chairpersons:

The tough times in America continue. Tens of millions of Americans are feeling the squeeze and are suffering diminished livelihoods. More than 15 million children go to bed hungry at night. Unemployment and underemployment affect more than twenty million adults. Calls for cutting into the core of programs for the needy, the vulnerable and the disadvantaged regularly emanate from Congress.

These calls are coming most insistently from the Republican leaders. Congressman John Boehner, Eric Cantor, Paul Ryan and Senator Mitch McConnell are demanding severe reductions in effective social programs and more tax cuts for the wealthy and the large corporations, many of which have been paying very little or no federal income tax, such as General Electric.
Against this background, what have the two parties done? This year they have each taken $18.2 million in taxpayer money for their national political conventions in Tampa, Florida and Charlotte, North Carolina later this summer. The money comes from taxpayers via the Treasury Department’s “$3 Tax Check-off” found on tax return forms.

Taxpayers who check-off are told that the money generally goes “to the Presidential Election Campaign Fund.” Taxpayers are not told the first priority is funding for the party nominating conventions, not the general election nominees and primary election candidates.

Taxpayers who opt for this partial public funding of elections may not like funding political extravaganzas for the two parties, festooned by banners, musical entertainment, food, drink and other amenities. They might not want their tax dollars associated with nearby lavish corporate hospitality parties loaded with lobbyists lusting for access, subsidies and other special privileges.

They might not want to have their tax dollars mixed with corporate contributions to the two conventions from the oil, drug, insurance, banking, nuclear, military weapons and agribusiness-food processing giant multinationals.
When your two parties in Congress established this slush fund for the conventions years ago, they tried lamely to justify the use of taxpayer contributions for the conventions by declaring that televised conventions were educational presentations; live democracy in action. That didn’t pass the laugh test then or now. The nominations are all wrapped up. The conventions will be coronations of Barack Obama and Mitt Romney. The party platforms are done deals.

Party rituals, the mutual admiration exchanges and the scripted, pre-cleared speeches by selected speakers are the highlights of these uncontested, predetermined, rigged shows of inaction.

Pay for your own parties, your own liquor and your own entertainment.

Return the misled taxpayers’ $36.4 million to the U.S. Treasury now. Or if you wish to receive some benefit from this modern version of “l’etat c’est moi,” donate the money to the Tampa and Charlotte charities that are feeding the hungry poor and homeless. Their menu will certainly be different than yours, but they (with their strapped budgets) certainly will be pleased by the gesture.

I have sent copies of this communication to charitable associations that provide food and other necessities for the growing number of impoverished Americans in Charlotte and Tampa. The recipients were Second Harvest Food Bank, Loaves and Fishes, and Faith Soldiers in Charlotte, North Carolina; and Feeding America, Kaye Prox Food Bank, and Metropolitan Ministries in Tampa, Florida. Those compassionate providers and their volunteers, reached on the telephone, were gracious regarding the meaning of this message to you.

Other citizen, charitable and religious groups in these two metropolitan areas may be inclined to emphasize this request with their own manifestations later next month. You would be well-advised to wisely render their reactions unnecessary by taking this humane initiative.

Should you not respond to this plea, which I am sure would be supported by the vast majority of the American people of all political persuasions, your conventions could be labeled the “Marie Antoinette cabal of 2012.” Surely, you remember what she suggested.

Sincerely yours,

Ralph Nader

WELL SAID SIR! BRAVO!

Both committees have enough “big money” contributions to sponsor their as you so aptly put it ‘Party rituals, the mutual admiration exchanges’ that they damned well SHOULD pay for their  own parties, liquor and entertainment.

You have uncovered yet another indication that our political election process is antiquated, bloated and filled with ways that those who have made Politics into a lucrative career (something the founding fathers never envisioned or intended for it to be) can lie and cheat the populace at large out of their money.

Personally I think that WE THE PEOPLE need to send these buffoons a clear message come next tax season. I suggest NOBODY check off the ‘Donate $3 of my return’ box AND that we hound our Senators and Congressmen into removing and repealing the law that put that box there because it is a FRAUD!!

customers are getting screwed BOHICA

Angry Mob

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Posted in Uncategorized | 6 Comments

Dragon Laffs #1284

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Adult-Content_thumb1_thumbGood Morning Campers!  Well, another weekend is here and another UTA full of stuff for me to do.  I’ll be working all day Saturday and again all day on Sunday, not only are we teaching class this weekend, but we are conducting an exercise at which I’m playing a special part!  I get to play the part of Islamic Agitator!  I’ve been preparing for this role for 01a6months!  How?  You ask.  Well, I won’t tell you as much as I show you.  I reveal to you now, Jihad Bob!  Yes, that’s really me with two months worth of beard.  I tell you what, I will be so damn glad when this is over with on Sunday, cause this son-of-a-gun itches!!!  Although I do kind of like the look.  I’ll try and get some pictures from the exercise on Sunday and see if I can’t share them with you next week.

But in the mean time….

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The history of the United States Coast Guard goes back to the Revenue Cutter Service, cgmnwlifewhich was founded on 4 August 1790 as part of the Department of the Treasury. The Revenue Cutter Service and the United States Life-Saving Service were merged to become the Coast Guard percgmnwrev 14 U.S.C.§ 1 which states: “The Coast Guard as established January 28, 1915, shall be a military service and a branch of the armed forces of the United States at all times.” In 1939, the United States cgmnwLighthouse Service was merged into the Coast Guard. The Coast Guard itself was moved to the Department of Transportation in 1967, and on 25 February 2003 it became part of the Department of Homeland Security. However, under 14 U.S.C.§ 3 ascgmnwship amended by section 211 of the Coast Guard and Maritime Transportation Act of 2006, upon the declaration of war and when Congress so directs in the declaration, or when the President directs, the Coast Guard operates as a service in the Department of the Navy.

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Swab summer class most diverse in Coast Guard Academy’s history

By Jennifer McDermott

New London — The smallest class in more than a decade arrived at the U.S. Coast Guard Academy Monday.

The Coast Guard is going to commission fewer young officers because many of the people who are already in the service aren’t leaving. The military’s retention rates are at record levels as people choose the job stability of the service over taking their chances in a struggling economy.

And like the rest of the military, the Coast Guard has to downsize. With the proposed cuts to defense spending in the 2013 budget, the service stands to lose 1,000 people.

Adm. Robert J. Papp, Jr., the Coast Guard commandant, said in an interview that the slight reduction at the academy this year is “just the start of perhaps going down a little further.”

248 students sworn in

A typical class starts with close to 300 students. For the Class of 2016, 248 students were sworn in, making it a small but diverse class. Monday was reporting-in day and the start of swab summer, an intense, seven-week program designed to transform civilian students into military recruits and prepare them for the academic year. 

With 36 percent women and 35 percent minority students, it is the most diverse class in the academy’s history. Last year, the incoming class set a record with 34 percent women and 34 percent minority students.

Raddae Chew said the uptick in the number of women and minority students at the school was one reason she decided to join the class. As a junior in high school, Chew, 19, of Rancho Cucamonga, Calif., went to one of the academy’s campus visit programs for underrepresented minority and first-generation college students. 

“Opportunity of lifetime”

“I figured it was the opportunity of a lifetime,” Chew said as she tried on shoes Monday in the bookstore.

Chew described the first day as “structured chaos.”

The Chase Hall barracks rang out with the voices of upper-class cadets yelling instructions at the new students, or swabs, who had to stay in the center of the hall and square, or sharply pivot, around each corner, all while looking straight ahead and greeting people correctly. 

“I’m going to teach you how to square because you look like a train wreck,” Larla Brown, a second-class cadet, screamed at Echo Company. 

Thomas Bondurant, a second-class cadet, chastised the company for forgetting his name. He said after the swabs are “in shock.” 

“Some are just so befuddled they can’t really speak,” he said. 

Hayley Smith was not as befuddled by the military commands as some, having spent a year in preparatory school and four years in the Navy Junior Reserve Officers Training Corps unit at New London High School. 

“If you pay attention to them, they’re telling you things you need to know. It’s not just pointless yelling,” said Smith, 19, of Scotland.

Smith said swab summer is “a challenge and an opportunity to excel.”

Steele Johnson, a first-class cadet and Alpha Company commander, said it’s important the swabs begin to rely on their classmates. 

“Maybe they won’t have trouble in school or adjusting to the military lifestyle but they need help doing both. It’s hard to handle on your own,” he said. “We want to make that point now so they don’t realize it later when they’re failing a class.”

At the end of the summer, he said, “they will feel like they accomplished something personally and as a group.” 

The last time an incoming class started with close to 250 students was in 1999, when 240 students entered the academy. By graduation, the incoming class will likely be closer to 200 since the retention rate is about 80 percent.

Papp is looking for more of a mix of officers from the academy and the 17-week Officer Candidate School. The OCS classes have been reduced in past years to accommodate the large numbers of officers graduating from the academy, he said. 

The retention rate for officers has been about 94 percent during the past three fiscal years, according to the Coast Guard. The rate for enlisted personnel is slightly lower.

The academy is the Coast Guard’s primary source of officers with engineering degrees. Officer Candidate School is a way for people who are already serving in the Coast Guard in enlisted roles or who have an undergraduate degree to become officers. 

“We need a mix of specialties and individuals of different backgrounds and education,” Papp said. 

Smaller classes will put less pressure on the academy’s facilities, Papp said. The Coast Guard made an offer to purchase a portion of the abutting Riverside Park to use for expansion, but city residents voted down that sale in November.

Given the budget climate, Papp said funding for additional land in New London “will not be forthcoming.” He said his top priority is recapitalizing the aging fleet of ships and aircraft, which are becoming increasingly more expensive to maintain.

For high school students interested in the academy, the changes mean the school will be harder to get into.

Of the roughly 2,000 students who completed applications for the Class of 2016, 315 were offered appointments and 251 students from 39 states accepted, including 17 from Connecticut. The average SAT score is 60 points higher than last year. Five international students also joined the class.

Capt. Stephan P. Finton, the academy’s director of admissions, said it will be more competitive simply because “there are just fewer slots.” 

“The quality of the student, I’d like to think, will be better,” he said. “But they’re all amazing students. This class is going to be amazing.”

Matthew Navetta said he was proud to have been selected. 

“I did pretty well in high school so I think I deserve a spot. I’m just trying to prove myself,” Navetta, 17, of Oakdale, said after getting his head shaved at the barber shop. 

The rain, heavy at times, cleared by the afternoon. The class marched onto Washington Parade Field and swore an oath to protect and defend the Constitution of the United States. 

“I just felt it was my purpose in life to be here,” said Hayden Hughes, 19, of Charlotte, N.C. “It’s going to be hard but it’s supposed to be. They’re making us better.”

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DragonPapa1 (157)

210px-US-CoastGuard-Seal.svg

The Coast Guard’s enduring roles are maritime safety, security, and stewardship. To carry out those roles the Coast Guard has eleven statutory missions, which include enforcing U.S. law in the world’s largest exclusive economic zone of 3.4 million square miles.

The Coast Guard motto is Semper Paratus (Latin for “Always Ready” or “Always Prepared”).

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Laugh Break!
Browser Wars in a nutshell
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Well, with August 4th being the birthday of the Coast Guard, it seemed too fitting not to put this in.  Purple Heart Day is Tuesday…not sure how the celebrating goes, but if you happen to know any Purple Heart recipients, you might, at the very least, thank them for their service.

 

Purple Heart Day – August 7th

The Medal of Honor that is now the Purple Heart actually began as the ‘Badge of Military Merit.’  Onpurple_heart1 August 7th, 1782 in Newburgh, New York, General George Washington designed a new badge of distinction for enlisted men and noncommissioned officers.  They were awarded for ‘any singularly meritorious action.’  The badge was a figure of a heart in purple cloth or silk, edged with narrow lace or binding.  It was pinned to a uniform coat above the left breast.  That was then, this is now. 
 

On January 7th of the year 1931, a new design was reopened.  Ms. Elizabeth Will, an army heraldic specialist in the Office of the Quarter, created the design sketch for the present medal of the Purple Heart.  It consists of a purple enameled heart within a bronze quarter inch border showing a relief profile of George Washington in continental uniform.  Washington’s family coat of arms adorns the medal, along with an inscription inside the heart that reads, ‘For Military Merit.’ 

The Purple Heart is awarded to any member of the Armed Forces that has been wounded or killed, died as a result of a wound in battle, or otherwise designated by the President of the United States.  This now includes those persons killed as a result of friendly fire.  Now we celebrate Purple Heart Day on the anniversary of its inception, August 7th.  On this day it is our patriotic duty to remember and recognize those people willing to serve our country, no matter the price.

Source:     U.S. Army, Center for Military History, The American War Library    

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With all the Olympic stuff going on, I just had to show you why I didn’t make it to London:

And remember, in order to watch the videos, you have to go to the actual website: http://dragonlaffs.com

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The House will vote on whether or not to fire federal workers who
are tax delinquent. Too bad they don’t vote on kicking out federal
workers who can’t run the government on a balanced budget.


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The Postal Service is preparing for a default on an upcoming $5.6
Billion payment, but says business will continue as usual. Sort of
like Congress running up a $15 Trillion debt and still running
business as usual.

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Motivational Necking

Motivational Note to Self

Motivational paradox

Motivational parking

These guys are really something.  You will really enjoy it.

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Half the counties in the U.S. have been declared natural disaster areas from the drought. The other half are man made disaster areas from the economy.

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A Washington, D.C. school district is paying 300 children $5.25 an
hour to go to summer school. That’s a bargain. We pay Congressmen
$170,000 a year to be in D.C. to do nothing but fill up chairs.

 

 

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I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

PMS jokes aren’t funny; period.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there’s no pop quiz.

I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.

Velcro — what a rip off!

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government’s fault.

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And even worse, who the hell is he going to blame it on?
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Here’s a great opinion piece by Matt Patterson… I couldn’t have said it better myself.  No, really, I mean it, I really couldn’t have said it better, that’s why his post is here…

By Matt Patterson (columnist – Washington Post, New York Post, San Francisco Examiner)
Government & Society:

Years from now, historians may regard the 2008 election of Barack Obama as an inscrutable and disturbing phenomenon, the result of a baffling breed of mass hysteria akin perhaps to the witch craze of the Middle Ages.

How, they will wonder, did a man so devoid of professional accomplishment beguile so many into thinking he could manage the world’s largest economy, direct the world’s most powerful military, execute the world’s most consequential job?

Imagine a future historian examining Obama’s pre-presidential life: ushered into and through the Ivy League despite unremarkable grades and test scores along the way; a cushy non-job as a “community organizer”; a brief career as a state legislator devoid of legislative achievement (and in fact nearly devoid of his attention, so often did he vote “present”); and finally an unaccomplished single term in the United States Senate, the entirety of which was devoted to his presidential ambitions.

He left no academic legacy in academia, authored no signature legislation as a legislator. And then there is the matter of his troubling associations: the white-hating, America-loathing preacher who for decades served as Obama’s “spiritual mentor”; a real-life, actual terrorist who served as Obama’s colleague and political sponsor.

It is easy to imagine a future historian looking at it all and asking: how on Earth was such a man elected president?

Not content to wait for history, the incomparable Norman Podhoretz addressed the question recently in the Wall Street Journal: To be sure, no white candidate who had close associations with an outspoken hater of America like Jeremiah Wright and an unrepentant terrorist like Bill Ayers, would have lasted a single day.

But because Mr. Obama was black, and therefore entitled in the eyes of liberaldom to have hung out with protesters against various American injustices, even if they were a bit extreme, he was given a pass. Let that sink in: Obama was given a pass – held to a lower standard – because of the color of his skin.

Podhoretz continues: And in any case, what did such ancient history matter when he was also so articulate and elegant and (as he himself had said) “non-threatening,” all of which gave him a fighting chance to become the first black president and thereby to lay the curse of racism to rest?

Podhoretz puts his finger, I think, on the animating pulse of the Obama phenomenon – affirmative action. Not in the legal sense, of course. But certainly in the motivating sentiment behind all affirmative action laws and regulations, which are designed primarily to make white people, and especially white liberals, feel good about themselves.

Unfortunately, minorities often suffer so that whites can pat themselves on the back. Liberals routinely admit minorities to schools for which they are not qualified, yet take no responsibility for the inevitable poor performance and high drop-out rates which follow.

Liberals don’t care if these minority students fail; liberals aren’t around to witness the emotional devastation and deflated self-esteem resulting from the racist policy that is affirmative action. Yes, racist.

Holding someone to a separate standard merely because of the color of his skin – that’s affirmative action in a nutshell, and if that isn’t racism, then nothing is.

And that is what America did to Obama. True, Obama himself was never troubled by his lack of achievements, but why would he be? As many have noted, Obama was told he was good enough for Columbia despite undistinguished grades at Occidental; he was told he was good enough for the US Senate despite a mediocre record in Illinois; he was told he was good enough to be president despite no record at all in the Senate.

All his life, every step of the way, Obama was told he was good enough for the next step, in spite of ample evidence to the contrary.

What could this breed if not the sort of empty narcissism on display every time Obama speaks?

In 2008, many who agreed that he lacked executive qualifications nonetheless raved about Obama’s oratory skills, intellect, and cool character.

Those people – conservatives included – ought now to be deeply embarrassed. The man thinks and speaks in the hoariest of clichés, and that’s when he has his Teleprompters in front of him; when the prompter is absent he can barely think or speak at all.

Not one original idea has ever issued from his mouth – it’s all warmed-over Marxism of the kind that has failed over and over again for 100 years.

And what about his character?

Obama is constantly blaming anything and everything else for his troubles.

Bush did it; it was bad luck; I inherited this mess.

It is embarrassing to see a president so willing to advertise his own powerlessness, so comfortable with his own incompetence.

But really, what were we to expect?

The man has never been responsible for anything, so how do we expect him to act responsibly?

In short: our president is a small and small-minded man, with neither the temperament nor the intellect to handle his job.

When you understand that, and only when you understand that, will the current erosion of liberty and prosperity make sense. It could not have gone otherwise with such a man in the Oval Office.

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