From the Desk of Lethal Leprechaun – The Search For Impish – A News Bulletin


2012 YEAR OF THE SEARCH FOR IMPISH

LL here with an update folks.

Sorry it’s taken nearly 24 hours but I’ve been a bit busy as you can imagine. I can report progress on locating our very own dimwitted “Dragon of the Year”.  While I am unable to release details I can say we have hired some expert help to assist me and are pursuing all leads and angles with some limited success at this point.

At this time we’re fairly certain we know all the answers who and how, but not so far the where and why. It appears that while the town fathers might have been responsible for Impish’s pathetically easy capture and drugging, they were simply “hired help” and received a generous donation to their “Year of the Dragon Parade” fund which covered the costs 5 times over. Then in a feat of greed worthy of me they hit Impish up for 1/2 their already inflated costs for his parade and he paid them! I cant help but admire these corrupt town officials on a strictly professional level.

As I have said, the where and why part so far is eluding us. These questions are made more difficult by the fact that we are apparently dealing with 3 different groups, one that took him, the ones that paid to have him taken and took immediate possession of him, who along with Impish have now also disappeared and apparently not of their own contrivance along with Impish their presumed captive. Even worse evidence points to them having been removed for this dimension and possibly move the the Fairies’ Realms.

At this time I’d like to ask you all for your help in distributing this (sniff…sniff) Missing Dragon flyer:

Impish Missing Poster

PLEASE paper all the public areas you can with them so we can get (snob) my dear friend and cross in life Impish home.

I will update you all further on the situation as developments warrant.

At this time I’d like to devote a quick minute to answering some concerned reader questions posted in the comments of the blog.

paul says:

January 19, 2012 at 15:13

Hang on to your seats folks.
will LL find Impish?? …I’ll consider it but I got to tell you his life insurance both personal and corporate are looking pretty good at the moment as is the peace & quiet. Actually if nothing else I’ll find him just to keep tabs on his dumb butt and be sure nothing REALLY bad happens to him. He can be annoying and gets into more trouble than a 3 yr old but he IS my client, my business partner and more importantly my friend.

will LL get there in time to rescue Impish from the bugs?? ..not a shot. He’s playing with them waiting for them to organize in a mass so he can toast them for a snack. Impish is NOT one to miss an opportunity for caloric intake in any form and is a big fan of Andrew Zimmern and his show “Bizarre Foods” often trying to (nauseatingly) out do him. This much to the consternation of Andrew and his staff

will LL be able to get him out of the cavern?? … the question is more like: will Lethal BUY the cavern with Impish in it and keep him there to protect him from himself and all these stupid (mis) adventures of his.

and most important

will Impish post the Saturday issue?? …I can say positively there WILL be a Saturday issue, it WILL be Impish’s styling and material as we located a mostly completed issue he had for this week. I can’t say it will be Impish that pushes the “publish” button however. I can also say our priority is business as usual and do not anticipate any interruption in our posting schedule do to this unfortunate unforeseen (at least by Impish) incident.

 

Chuck says:

January 19, 2012 at 15:03

Dude, you are way too funny! When all of the bugs finish their banding, you should snag em up and have yourself a snack. I know you must be famished!!!!!

Don’t worry Chuck, that was his plan all along I’m sure he was just acting scared to lure them in with a false sense of security. As to his being famished, his latest physical showed him about 400# overweight for an overweight dragon, so he has about a solid week before his lack of a decent meal becomes a serious issue and his own tail starts looking good to him.

 

A very harried & worried

DL - Lethal Lep Sig

About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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