So, you may have noticed that I’ve been out of town again this week and contrary to Lethal Leprechaun’s explanation, it wasn’t for a pie break.  I was in Cleveland for a workshop on Radiation Emergency Awareness and Response.  This was put on by the Ohio FBI.  They did a pretty good job at keeping a somewhat dull topic interesting.  And they picked a GREAT place to have it.  The Renaissance Cleveland Hotel.  Here’s a picture of me in the, indoor swimming pool.  Beautiful.  Relaxing. 

There were also some beautiful fountains

Anyway, it was just a short trip and I’m back now.  If you’d like further explanation, you should check out the comments section.  If not, you’re missing half the fun.  And then you can feel free to jump in and make comments of your own and really join in on the fun.  It’s more enjoyable when it’s interactive.
Go to http://dragonlaffs.com and see for yourself!

Now,

Can you run that by me just one more time?

 

 

1. The word has seven letters…. 
2. Preceded God… 
3. Greater than God… 
4. More Evil than the devil… 
5. All poor people have it… 
6. Wealthy people need it…. 
7. If you eat it, you will die.

Did you figure it out?

Back when I was active-duty Air Force, many years ago, I loaded bombs on air planes (amongst other things) and one of the pieces of equipment I used was this MHU-83.  Well, my good buddy Todd found this animated one and I thought it was so cool and brought back such memories that I had to share it with you and publicly thank Todd for his kind consideration in sharing with me.

NOTHING has 7 letters. 
NOTHING preceded God. 
NOTHING is greater than God. 
NOTHING is more Evil than the devil. 
All poor people have NOTHING. 
Wealthy people need NOTHING. 
If you eat NOTHING, you will die..

 

 

If opposites truly attract, the correct strategy is to be a loser.

 

 

 

This is incredible…fantastic…and unbelievable, all wrapped up in one!  Remember, you have to be on the website to watch the videos…

Who the hell did I miss?

Finally!  I get retribution and satisfaction from my addiction!!!  Woo Hoo!!

Study finds coffee drinkers live longer, but no one’s sure why

MILWAUKEE — One of life’s simple pleasures just got sweeter. After years of waffling research on coffee and health, even some fear that java might raise the risk of heart disease, a big study finds the opposite: Coffee drinkers are a little more likely to live longer. Regular or decaf doesn’t matter.  I beg to differ.  It does bloody matter!  Decaf is just brown hot water!  Why would anyone drink that?

The study of 400,000 people is the largest on the issue, and the results should reassure coffee fans who think it’s a guilty pleasure that may do harm.  Guilty pleasure and the good it does far out weighs the guilt that might be associated with it.  I can’t function without my coffee in the morning and don’t think I should have to!

“Our study suggests that’s really not the case,” said lead researcher Neal Freedman of the National Cancer Institute. “There may actually be a modest benefit of coffee drinking.”  You betcha!

No one knows why. Coffee contains a thousand things that can affect health, from helpful antioxidants to tiny amounts of substances linked to cancer. The most widely studied ingredient, caffeine, didn’t play a role in the new study.  It’s the ingredient that makes the most difference!

Earlier studies weren’t wrong. Coffee can raise LDL, or “bad” cholesterol, and blood pressure at least short term, and those can raise heart-disease risk. NO!  Say it isn’t so!!!!

Even in the new study, it seemed coffee drinkers were more likely to die at any given time. But they also tended to smoke, drink more alcohol, eat more red meat and exercise less (You say that like it’s a bad thing!) than people who don’t drink coffee. Once that was taken into account, a clear pattern emerged: Each cup of coffee per day nudged up the chances of living longer. Damn Straight!

The study was done by the National Institutes of Health and AARP. The results are published in today’s New England Journal of Medicine.

This doesn’t prove that coffee makes people live longer, only that the two seem related. Like most studies on diet and health, this one was based strictly on observations. So it can’t prove cause and effect.  Of course you would say that!  Because no one wants to admit that that something that’s considered a vice could be good for us!  What’s next?  Cheap cigars create stronger men?

But with so many people, more than a decade of follow-up and enough deaths to compare, “this is probably the best evidence we have” and are likely to get, said Dr. Frank Hu of the Harvard School of Public Health. He had no role in this study but helped lead a previous one that also found coffee beneficial.  Alright Frank!  Keep up the good work!

The new study began in 1995 and involved AARP members ages 50 to 71 in California, Florida, Louisiana, New Jersey, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, Atlanta and Detroit. People who already had heart disease, a stroke or cancer weren’t included. Neither were folks at diet extremes — too many or too few calories per day.

The rest gave information on coffee-drinking only at the start of the study. “People are fairly consistent in their coffee drinking over their lifetime,” so the single measure shouldn’t be a big limitation, Freedman said.

Of 402,260 people, about 42,000 drank no coffee. About 15,000 drank six cups or more a day. Most had two or three.  I would be in that last category….but only if you changed it to pots…two or three pots a day.

By 2008, about 52,000 had died. Compared with those who drank no coffee, men who had two or three cups a day were 10 percent less likely to die at any age. For women, it was 13 percent.

Even a single cup a day seemed to lower risk a little: 6 percent in men and 5 percent in women. The strongest effect was in women who had four or five cups a day — a 16 percent lower risk of death.

But Freedman can’t say how much life coffee might buy.  I can answer that question.  Coffee, like pizza, lasagna, manicotti, certain steaks and one or two chili recipes, as well as Slurpees (from 7Eleven, not the generic Icees that are around everywhere) are considered “God’s Food”.  When you die and go to Heaven, there will only be a limited amount of food and drink available, just things that are worthy of being on God’s table.  Therefore, those same foods, on earth, will automatically give you a longer life.  See, it’s not that hard once you think of it in the correct light.

“I really can’t calculate that,” especially because smoking is a key factor that affects longevity at every age, he said.

Coffee drinkers were less likely to die from heart or respiratory disease, stroke, diabetes, injuries, accidents or infections. No effect was seen on cancer-death risk, though.

About two-thirds of participants drank regular coffee, and the rest decaf. The type of coffee made no difference.

Hu had this advice for coffee lovers:

• Watch the sugar and cream. Extra calories and fat could negate any benefits from coffee.

• Drink filtered coffee rather than boiled. Filtering removes compounds that raise LDL, the bad cholesterol.

Researchers did not look at tea, soda or other beverages but plan to in future analyses. I think if they look, they’ll find that there are a few other beverages that belong on God’s table and therefore bestow longevity.  A few German and Irish beers, a sweet, white Mosel wine from St. Michaelsberg, Germany and that’s about all I can think of right now.  And see, that’s the whole point of God’s food.  By definition, you’d be able to think of  it right off.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this little voyage into my insights.  I hope it was as much fun for you as it was for me.

 

Heard from Impish.  If you look hard enough in the comments (as he was unable to give his comment his full attention distracted by thoughts of pie as he was, so it wound up under our Memorial Day Issue instead of Today’s Issue) you’ll find a only portion of this communication to me from him.

This sort of thing is exactly why we do not allow him out on his own.

First I got this, some time late last night after I was abed and asleep after having counted the ways I was going to torture and punish Impish for yet another unauthorized excision of Dragon insanity and debauchery to get finally to sleep.

I suspect the misspelling of the word “heard” as “head”was caused by his rush to get back to his pie being precariously balanced against his need to attempt to assure me I didn’t have to go all “The Fugitive” on him that he would be returning shortly and (more or less) voluntarily. [Likely with an enraged pie hungry mob hot on his heels]

Then this morning there was this additional message from him no doubt written post initial pie devouring session while he was temporarily sated and  awaited impatiently for the bakers to catch up to his eating speed.

Woo Hoo!  Pie!!! Dude, I’ll be home in time for my issue on Saturday! 

OK well THAT doesn’t seem so bad, aside from the whole jail break thing, the fines from the EPA for excessive methane production & release and the employee out on Workman’s Comp. who is hospitalized and threatening to sue. Pretty much your average week with Impish but THEN things took a turn and not for the better…

There was a bit of confusion at the store this morning and its possible I might need your lawyerly services over it. When I was ready to pay for my order, the cashier said,

“Strip down facing me.”

Making a mental note to complain to my congressman about Homeland Security running amok, I did just as she had instructed.
When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to my credit card.

I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future and charges of “terroristic obscenity”.

They need to make their instructions to us thoughts of pie distracted customers a little clearer!

Good issue this morning and I echo your sentiment to the principal at the school.  What a moron! 

Hey Greta!  Kiss my BIG BLUE (pie filled and growing) DRAGON ASS!!!!!

Okay, time’s up, gotta get back to the pie!!!

SIGH! If you live in or near Cleveland Ohio I would not expect to obtain any pie there for several days and you might want to ration (and hide) your coffee supply too. If you have a weak heart or stomach I would avoid places where you can buy pie/pastry/donuts and/or coffee for several days as I fear there could possibly be a repeat occurrence of this sort of episode.

I’ll post further reports of Dragon induced disasters DEVELOPMENTS if/when/as I am notified.

[OR as it’s know here at One Keebler Towers, T- 24:00:00 and counting to Molly’s Birthday.]

 

Well apparently DL/LL Enterprises HQ has a lot in common with those New Jersey Halfway Houses that have been in the news lately. Seems they cannot keep their inmates from escaping by the double digits a month and we cannot hold on to Impish for much longer than a month at a time.

Someone took offense at the foul odor in Impish’s lair after his weekend of a steady diet of black bean burritos, then apparently in accord with his plan, gasping for clean air they opened the doors to his terrace. Half a breath of fresh air later they were mowed down by an escaping Dragon butt blasting himself into the air and escaping the confinement he has been in since his last unauthorized field trip.

My best guess, after donning a gas mask and hip boots to investigate the scene of the escape, is that he somehow caught a segment over the weekend about a pie ship in Cleveland that is having a contest to vote for their best pie. Apparently the thought of 38 types Dessert Pie,  8 different types of Quiche, and 9 types of ‘Pub Pie’ (think a cross between Chicken pot pie and a calzone here) not to mention hand pies and ‘muffin pies’ (don’t ask me I have NO idea) were simply too much of a temptation for Impish’s willpower (ok WHO am I kidding? WHAT willpower?) to resist.

I figure it will be about 48 hours before Impish’s pie gluttony runs him a foul of the locals & their constabulary up there (he’ll switch to donuts when the pie runs out) After that when a few well placed bullets part his scales for him and he sees the mob with torches and Dragon lances headed his way he’ll be on the first freight train home…no doubt collect too.

 

 

OK Saturday Impish tried to do damage control and embarrassment management by spinning this story- making it about a fictional group of hunters. Well I’m calling bullshit on that! HERE is the REAL story EXACTLY as it happened:

When four deer hunters arrived at the deer camp for their annual hunt they found that all the lodging was taken except for two cabins, both equipped with two beds.

Three of them, Lethal, Karl and Paul had a lively discussion as who would bunk with Impish who was a habitual snorer. (He sounds like the Jake Brake on a full loaded dump truck going perpetually downhill ALL night long. Come to think of it his breath smells like the exhaust of that truck too!)

They finally decided that the only fair way was to take turns.

Paul shared a cabin with Impish the first night and the next morning he appeared red-eyed from lack of sleep. He said that Impish snored so loud that getting to sleep was impossible so he sat up all night and watched Impish.

The second night it was Karl’s turn and the next morning he looked even worse than Paul had. He stated that Impish’s snoring was so loud that even the windows shook and there was no way he could get to sleep so he too sat up all night and watched Impish.

The third night was Lethal’s turn and the next morning he appeared all bright-eyed, alert and fully rested and Impish looked as if he had not slept.

Paul and Karl was amazed at Lethal’s appearance and asked him what happened.

Lethal told them that when they went to bed he patted Impish on the bottom, kissed him on the cheek, and Impish sat up watching him all night!

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Especially since ‘Pie Boy’ isn’t around to object.

 Molly just whispered in my ear what would happen to me if I made a public statement as to WHICH ‘milestone birthday’ this was and let me say OWWWWW!  DAMN! The woman can make a serious and creative male anatomy violence related threat so in my best self interest we aren’t going to speak of her age…EVER!

Molly me darlin’ I just wanted to say that…

 

Unfortunately this did not come to my attention in time to be included last weeks Parting Shot, largely no doubt due to my getting hammered with T-storms and being sans power for almost 10 hours until 3 AM Wednesday. Then again I’m sort of thankful it didn’t. I don’t know how much more I could have put in there without totally desensitizing you to the whole issue or before I snapped and went all Halls of Montezuma/Shores of Tripoli on some Liberal Child Brain Washing Operation I MEAN School System

Controversial principal yanks patriotic song from kindergarten graduation

School pulls patriotic song at graduation, but Justin Bieber’s ‘Baby’ is OK

Political Correctness June 10, 2012 http://www.examiner.com/article/controversial-principal-yanks-patriotic-song-from-kindergarten-graduation

combined by LL with:

By SUSAN EDELMAN Last Updated: 3:51 PM, June 11, 2012 http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/school_silences_patriotic_song_xdunXcLPbE8S2rAEcZoUiP?utm_medium=rss&utm_content=Local&fb_source=message

  A controversial Coney Island principal has pulled the plug on patriotism.

Greta Hawkins, the principal of the Edna Cohen School in Brooklyn, New York, told students they could not sing the Lee Greenwood classic, “God Bless the USA,” at their moving-up ceremony, the New York Post reported late Saturday.

According to the Post:

Five classes spent months learning the patriotic song, which skyrocketed in popularity after the 9/11 attacks and the 2003 invasion of Iraq.

It was to be the rousing finale of their musical show at the June 20 commencement. The kids, dressed up for their big day, would wave tiny American flags — which, as the lyrics proclaim, “still stand for freedom.”

[Except apparently in P.S. 90 when they are offensive to J.Ws and other cultures who are GUESTS in our nation` L.L.]

Hawkins interrupted a rehearsal and ordered the CD shut off. She then told teachers to drop the song.

“We don’t want to offend other cultures,” she reportedly said.

According to Department of Education spokeswoman Jessica Scaperotti, Hawkins found the lyrics “too grown up” for 5-year-olds.  While the patriotic song has been banned, the Post notes that “Justin Bieber’s flirty song about teen romance, ‘Baby,’ was deemed a fine selection for the show.”

“Hawkins,” the Post notes, “had no problem with 5-year-olds singing lines such as, ‘Are we an item? Girl, quit playing.’”

Scaperotti said the Department supports Hawkins’ decision. SCHOOLS CHIEF BACKS DECISION TO SWAP ‘USA’ SONG WITH BIEBER

Department of Education spokeswoman Jessica Scaperotti gave The Post an explanation staffers said they never heard — that Hawkins found the lyrics “too grown up” for 5-year-olds.

The song starts: “If tomorrow all the things were gone, I’d worked for all my life. And I had to start again, with just my children and my wife, I’d thank my lucky stars, to be livin’ here today.”

“The lyrics are not age-appropriate,” she told the Post. But Justin Bieber’s flirty song about teen romance, “Baby,” was deemed a fine selection for the show. Hawkins had no problem with 5-year-olds singing lines such as, “Are we an item? Girl, quit playing.”

Hawkins’ decision to ban the patriotic song has sparked controversy at a school the Post says is “filled with proud immigrants.”

According to the Post:

Five classes spent months learning the patriotic song, which skyrocketed in popularity after the 9/11 attacks and the 2003 invasion of Iraq.

It was to be the rousing finale of their musical show at the June 20 commencement. The kids, dressed up for their big day, would wave tiny American flags — which, as the lyrics proclaim, “still stand for freedom.”

Hawkins interrupted a rehearsal and ordered the CD shut off.  She then told teachers to drop the song.

“We don’t want to offend other cultures,” she reportedly said.

Staff and parents were stunned at her edict.

“A lot of people fought to move to America to live freely, so that song should be sung with a whole lot of pride,” Luz Lozada said.  Her son, Daniel, is a kindergartener at the school.

The Post added that the song was sung by fifth graders last year to rave reviews from parents and teachers alike.

“Everybody applauded and whistled,” Lozada said.  “They gave it a standing ovation.”

Parents — many immigrants from Pakistan, Mexico and Ecuador — “love it,” Lozada said.

A teacher agreed: “It makes them a little goosebumpy and teary-eyed. I’ve never come across anyone who felt it insulted their culture.”

Hawkins, who has been called a tyrant and a bully by some staffers, was reprimanded by the DOE in 2010 after teachers complained she called the school “racist.”

“I’m black. Your previous principal was white and Jewish. More of us are coming,” she reportedly said.

Scaperotti told the Post that students at the school recite the Pledge of Allegiance and sing “America the Beautiful” every morning, but ‘insiders’ said Hawkins tried to end the practice a couple years ago.

“The principal, a Jehovah’s Witness, does not recite the pledge because her religion forbids followers to salute any nation’s flag. Staffers gripe she doesn’t stand in respect during the school-wide ritual,” Susan Edelman wrote.

This is not the first time Greenwood’s song has been targeted by educators.

In April, officials at Stall Brook Elementary School in Bellingham, MA, changed the lyrics of the song, then dropped it after parents complained.

Scaperotti told the Post that Hawkins has been targeted by the teacher’s union, and the NYPD is investigating hate mail she has allegedly received.

HATE MAIL?  JUST hate mail? She should be receiving DEATH THREATS and a PINK SLIP!

Finally you need to watch the Yahoo News video of this where Lee Greenwood comments on the controversy with his song, as well as Hawkins misinformed JWs non flag respecting bullshit in a more succinct and eloquent manner than I am capable of after learning of this.

http://news.yahoo.com/video/oddnews-22772304/controversial-decision-to-ban-patriotic-song-from-kindergarten-graduation-29623059.html

NYC P.S. 90 Elementary school principal Greta Hawkins:

And so does your taste in music! Justin Bieber? SERIOUSLY? BLOODY SODDEN HELLS! I’d rather listen to the Barney song sung badly by sugar amped 6 year olds for 4 hours straight than a single Bieber song!

 

Elementary school principal Greta Hawkins is the recipient of:

The DL/LL Digital Media Enterprises A.S.S.H.O.L.E. of the Week Award.

for being a Jackass above and beyond the call of Liberal/Democratic Politically Correct Doctrine

Hell, the cause isn’t hard to figure out- they stupid S.O.B.s they drank the damned Kool Aid!

The unexamined political belief is not worth holding.

The unanalyzed political agenda is not worth promoting.

Liberals, Democrats and especially Obama strongly object when you do either of these things. Kind of makes you wonder why doesn’t it? Could it be because those beliefs and agendas can’t hold up to the scrutiny?

The Liberal Mind explains:

• The two major goals of the modern liberal agenda: the Modern Parental Society and the Modern Permissive Culture, and why they violate the basic principles of freedom.
• How the modern liberal agenda attacks the moral and legal foundations of individual liberty.
• How the modern liberal agenda violates the defining characteristics of human nature and ignores the essential realities of the human condition.
• How the modern liberal agenda corrupts the character of the people by appealing to their base instincts and undermining the constraints of conscience.
• How the modern liberal agenda’s ideas and goals are self-contradictory and logically inconsistent.
• Why the liberal mind believes in the irrational principles of the liberal agenda — and what it takes to effect a cure.

http://www.libertymind.com/

 

[Thanks to our resident old guy K-squared for this]

When you get a few minutes you just have to watch this video starring Kyrie Irving (rookie of the year from Cleveland who played at Duke last year).

They dress him up in movie make up to make him resemble an 80 year old man. He goes to the street basketball courts in New Jersey and gets in a pickup basketball game with a bunch of young dudes… when the 80 year old starts playing for real and its great.

One for the old guys!

http://devour.com/video/uncle-drew/

 

 

President Obama has stopped deporting younger illegal immigrants who came to the US as children and haven’t broken the law, and he is granting them work permits. Do you:

21% Strongly agree with this decision

14% Somewhat agree with this decision

14% Somewhat disagree with this decision

51% Strongly disagree with this decision

Do you agree or disagree that, as Massachusetts Governor, Mitt Romney was a strong leader who lowered the unemployment rate?

27% Strongly Agree

24% Somewhat Agree

31% No Strong Opinion

3% Somewhat Disagree

15% Strongly Disagree

Do you support or oppose efforts by K-12 public schools to generate operational funding by selling ads that are seen by students in hallways, on their report cards, or elsewhere?

13% Strongly support

0% Somewhat support

13% Somewhat oppose

55% Strongly oppose

19% No Strong Opinion

How concerned are you right now about contempt for the US Constitution?

58% Very concerned

15% Somewhat concerned

21% A little concerned

6% Not concerned at all

Polls sponsored by NPD Online Research

 

Impish was last seen at…OH WAIT! that’s DRAGON sightings! Closely related, but entirely a different thing all together!

IDIOT SIGHTING
I handed the teller @ my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00
I said “May I have large bills, please”
She looked at me and said “I’m sorry sir, all the bills are the same size.”
When I got up off the floor I explained it to her….

IDIOT SIGHTING
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.’Hey,’ I announced to the technician, ‘it’s open!’ His reply: ‘I know. I already got that side.’This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , MS

IDIOT SIGHTING
We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a ‘large’ enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, ‘Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.’ I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.He said, ‘NO, it’s not..’ Four is larger than two.’
We haven’t used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING
My daughter and I went through the McDonald’s take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, ‘you gave me too much money.’ I said, ‘Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.” She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said ‘We’re sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.’
The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the clerks at McD’s. [I want to know where the hell there is a McDs you can get through for under $5!!]

IDIOT SIGHTING
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office
To request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: ‘Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!
I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.’

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for ‘minimal lettuce.’
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

IDIOT SIGHTING
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,’Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?’To which I replied, ‘If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?’
He smiled knowingly and nodded, ‘That’s why we ask.’Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

IDIOT SIGHTING
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, ‘What on earth are blind people doing driving?!’
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

IDIOT SIGHTING
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to ‘downsizing,’
Our manager commented cheerfully, ‘This is fun. We should do this more often.’
Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

IDIOT SIGHTING
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself And for the sake of her life, couldn’t understand why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.

IDIOT SIGHTING
How would you pronounce this child’s name?
“Le-a”
Leah?? NO
Lee – A?? NOPE
Lay – a?? NO
Lei?? Guess Again.
This child attends a school in Kansas City , MO. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.
It’s pronounced “Ledasha”. When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, “the dash don’t be silent.”

SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash.
If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don’t be silent.

STAY ALERT!

They walk among us……and they MULTIPLY AND VOTE- Democratic!

 

[Thanks to Impish for serving as the model for this banner! Appreciate it Buddy!]

EPA set to regulate ditches and gullies on private property

If the EPA has its way, ditches like this would be regulated as a “navigable waterway.”

Photo credit:  hoosieragtoday.com

If the Environmental Protection Agency has its way, ditches and gullies on private property could be viewed as navigable waterways and regulated under the Clean Water Act.

Lawmakers, however, are working to keep that from happening, Audrey Hudson reported at Human Events on Monday.

Rep. John Mica (R-FL), chairman of the House Transportation and Infrastructure Committee, Rep. Nick Rahall (D-WV), the ranking committee member, and Rep. Bob Gibbs (R-OH), chairman of the Subcommittee on Water Resources and Environment, sent a letter to House colleagues outlining what they see as an “expansion of federal jurisdiction.”

“Never in the history of the CWA has federal regulation defined ditches and other upland features as ‘waters of the United States,’” the lawmakers wrote.

“The Obama administration is doing everything in its power to increase costs and regulatory burdens for American businesses, farmers and individual property owners,” Rep. Mica told Human Events.

“This federal jurisdiction grab has been opposed by Congress for years, and now the administration and its agencies are ignoring law and rulemaking procedures in order to tighten their regulatory grip over every water body in the country,” he added.

“But this administration needs to realize it is not above the law,” Mica said.

In this case, the EPA seeks to regulate land alongside ditches, gullies and other areas where water builds up due to rain or melting snow.  The resulting regulations “would make it harder for private property owners to build in their own backyards, grow crops, raise livestock and conduct other activities on their own land,” Human Events reported.

Hudson notes that a bipartisan House measure that passed in committee last week now has 64 cosponsors.  The Senate version has 26 GOP cosponsors and is gathering steam.

“It’s time to get EPA lawyers out of Americans’ backyards,” Sen. John Barrasso (R-WY) said when he announced the Senate version in March.

For a whole host of reasons;

1. Weather- I’m rushing to finish this on battery before the back up for the Gateway dies as the T-storms have power out here again (2 time in as many weeks
2. I went to bed early last night feeling like crap and spent a lousy night. As I result when I DID get to sleep I elected to sleep late but wound up sleeping WAY later than I had planned and now I’m behind the 8 ball once again.
3. I’ve already done too much pontificating and sniping in the issue so I’m sure to hear complaints about it and how I need to “lighten up”. Too bad we don’t live in a light world, that’s why Impish and I do this to call attention to things that we CAN refuse to accept and CAN change so that we might live in a lighter world.

 

And unabashedly proud of it too!

 

Good Morning Campers!!!!
Dragon Laffs is six years-old today!
Sort of.
Well, actually we are at LEAST six years old, but today is the day that I took Dragon Laffs public with a seat on yahoo groups.  Prior to that, it was a straight email newsletter, until I got called a spammer by my ISP for sending out a thousand emails a day.  Yup, every day.  I had A LOT more time then.  It would take upwards of 30 minutes a day just for the emailing because it had to be broken down into so many different groups and … well… it was a real mess!
But I think we’ve grown some since then.  But the one thing we haven’t grown has been subscribers!  And we’re going to work on that, not sure how just yet, but we will.
And tomorrow is the day that all us Fathers get a chance to sit on our ass and … yeah, right.  Okay, so we get the grill out and we … so how is that different from any other weekend?  Hmm, well, happy Father’s Day just the same to all you Fathers out there.  Probably the second toughest job on the planet behind Mother.  Hope you all have a great day and hope your children remember you, with at least a phone call.
Anyway, we need to get into the laughter, but first, I want to start this issue out with a mini rant.  Now, under normal circumstances I would never put a rant in the opening…but since I didn’t get this article until after the entire  issue was set up, except the opening and I felt like it was important enough to talk about, I’m going to jump in with:

A columnist named John Sexton wrote an article called:
SPENDING OFF THE HOOK: FREE PHONES COSTING TAXPAYERS $2.1 BILLION PER YEAR
Here’s the article…not quite in it’s entirety…with my comments liberally interspersed.
You’re probably familiar with the food stamp program which grew from $35 billion in 2008 to $75 billion last year. (Okay, stop right there!  A 100% increase in food stamps in 3 years!  Is that not enough, on it’s own merits, right there to say that this crap isn’t working! Do we have 100% more people in the U.S. in the last 3 years? {well, hell!  With illegal aliens we may very well!  Okay, that’s another topic!}  All that hope and change he promised hasn’t amounted to a pile of crap.  We’re so much worse off now than when he started.) But did you know that getting food stamps also makes you eligible for a free government cell phone?

A program called Lifeline provides free phones and free monthly minutes to anyone food stamps, WIC, Medicaid, Head Start, and several other government programs.  And just like food stamps, Lifeline (aka “phone stamps”) has been growing by leaps and b0unds since 2008, at a significant cost to taxpayers. (Us!)

Lifeline was started in the mid-‘80s to reduce the cost of phone service to rural and needy customers.  The programs costs are covered by a tax included on every monthly phone bill called the Universal Service Charge.  (Do you guys remember the beginning of that program?  If I remember correctly, it started with a discounted wall phone and free local calls.  The idea being that the needy were less likely to seek out preventative medical care and thus were more likely to need the services of emergency medical care.  This also allowed needy families with young babies to phone doctors and such.  I’m all for that.  Especially now.  You can get a land line phone for $14 {the last time I checked} with local calls only.  But this program is bullshit.  Plain and simple!)

In 2011 the FCC estimated the cost of the program would be $2.1 billion and said it would reach $3.3 billion by 2014 absent major reforms.  The FCC also found that part of the problem with the program was rampant fraud.  (Okay, my math mentality is coming out…let’s check something real quick.  As of April 1, 2010 (the date of the last US census) the population of the United States and all it’s territories was 312,913,872.  That’s 310 million (not billion) let’s make it easy on ourselves and round it up to 320 million.  That’s $6.56 from each of us, for this program only.  That’s twenty bucks (for my family) out of my pocket. And it’s taken from us pennies at a time.  It gets worse….keep reading my campers) How bad is the fraud?  A survey conducted by the FCC across 17 states and territories found that, on average, 9% of phone recipients were ineligible.  In some states like Alabama, New Hampshire, and West Virginia, the ineligibility rate was 18-19%.  And all of that is based on a survey to which 27% of the users refused to respond to questions. (And how many of the others that DID answer told the truth?  Do we honestly expect that someone who is defrauding (read as “stealing”) the government to be HONEST about it?  I’d bet that it’s a lot closer to those two numbers added together… at least.  27% + 19% = 46%…that would be the Impish Dragon estimate…half!  Half of these entitlement focused rat bastards are stealing our money.)

In order to combat this problem, the FCC recommending the creation of a national database to keep track of multiple users.  The project was expected to cost $7.5 to $10 million to set up, though this is much less than the amount the government is expected to save by cutting duplicate lines. 

The article goes on to say more about people replacing phones they were already paying for with free ones.  If you can already afford a cell phone, what the hell are you doing on food stamps and such anyway???  Oh, I know, so they can afford their cigarettes and pizza delivery!  Oh, and let’s not forget about Disney World…I’ll get to that in a minute.  When I was working as a police dispatcher for the Indiana State Police, the pay was horrendous.  I worked almost full time hours at the county jail, and more hours stocking boxes in the early morning at my local Target.  We didn’t have basic cable, we had NO cable (unlike those same inmates at the jail, who had damn near full cable).  We ate a hell of a lot of noodles and pasta, on the rare occasion that I would treat myself to a smoke, it was generic and there’s  no way in hell we ordered pizza.  Granted, there are aggravating medical issues in my family and that’s where an awful lot of my money went.  We weren’t on food stamps, why should we be, I could work.  And work I did, usually more than a hundred hours a week.  I didn’t own a cell phone until I got this (much better paying) job and needed one. 

What I’m trying to say is not “oh pity me” or any of that bullshit, but when did we begin to think that it was a GOOD thing to take a permanent hand out from our fellow human beings and allow them to do the work that we are supposed to be doing?  HOW CAN THEY LOOK THEMSELVES IN THE EYE IN THE MIRROR???  Quite frankly I’m sick and tired of paying the way for someone who’s not willing to get off their ass and work for a living.  (And for those of you who are going to say it, you know damn well I’m not talking about the REAL needy who require our help to survive!!!!)  I’m tired of being robbed from.  Tired of having someone else’s hand in my pocket taking my money!!!!

And speaking of Disney World (told you I’d get back to that) someone I trust with my life who works there was grumbling to me the other day about the people who were using welfare checks to go to Disney World.  Seriously? Are you kidding me, Mr. Obama and the rest of you liberal minded bullshit artists???  I’m paying for someone who can’t get off their ass to work to go to Disney when I can’t even afford for my own, perfectly aged 10 year-old daughter, not to mention my older children and grand children to go, but you can take my money away from me so some dirt bag, scum bunny can go?

I’ve said enough.  I need to laugh.  Really badly, do I need to laugh, so let’s laugh…

The Physical
During my physical, my doctor asked me about my daily activity level,
and so I described a typical day this way:
“Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake, drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush, marched up and down several rocky hills, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand, jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake and took four “leaks” behind the big trees.”
Inspired by the story, the doctor said, “You must be one hell of an outdoorsman!”
“No,” I replied, “I’m just a shitty golfer.”

An oldie but goodie from Paul…

When four deer hunters arrived at the deer camp for their annual hunt they found that all the lodging was taken except for two cabins, both equipped with two beds.

Three of them, John, Bill and Fred had a lively discussion as who would bunk with Bob who was a habitual snorer.

They finally decided that the only fair way was to take turns.

Bill shared a cabin with Bob the first night and the next morning he appeared red-eyed from lack of sleep. He said that Bob snored so loud that getting to sleep was impossible so he sat up all night and watched Bob.

The second night it was Fred’s turn and the next morning he looked even worse than Bill had. He stated that Bob’s snoring was so loud that even the windows shook and there was no way he could get to sleep so he too sat up all night and watched Bob.

The third night was John’s turn and the next morning he appeared all bright-eyed, alert and fully rested and Bob looked as if he had not slept.

Bill and Fred was amazed at John’s appearance and asked him what happened.

John told them that when they went to bed he patted Bob on the bottom, kissed him on the cheek, and Bob sat up watching him all night!

How about some observations from Ginny…

Bill Clinton says he supports Obama and is “very sorry for this stirring up.” He adds that he did not mean to undermine the President with his comments on tax cuts and Romney’s business record. Gosh, who’d a thunk it? Bill not thinking about possible consequences of his actions….

Michelle Obama applauded New York’s proposed ban on large sugary drinks. It’s got the city in turmoil. Last night the police let a guy go for having less than twenty-five grams of marijuana on him but arrested him for having more than sixteen ounces of Pepsi.

---

The U.S. halted funding of the Pakistani version of Sesame Street Tuesday due to alleged corruption by the puppet theater troupe performing the TV show. What can you do?

If it weren’t for corrupt puppets the U.S. and Britain would have no allies in the Third World.

2,000 former NFL players have filed a master complaint against the league over brain injuries. The worst evidence is that four former NFL players have actually been elected to Congress.

---

NBC News reported grim statistics indicating that the U.S. lost one hundred and thirty thousand millionaires just last year. It could be a problem for Democrats. President Obama can’t very well attack Mitt Romney if he’s on the Endangered Species List.

President Obama’s campaign is spending $12 million on a one-minute commercial hitting Mitt Romney’s business record. Though Obama’s made some bad business moves too — like spending $12 million on a one-minute commercial.

Here’s a letter we received from one of our loyal campers.  You may remember him from previous letters we’ve received in the past.  Folks…he just ain’t right.  But that doesn’t mean we can’t laugh “with” him, right?

Dear Impish and Lethal,

I just had to share my experiences with y’all, since I know how concerned y’all are for the welfare of your readers.  (And you know what a big fan of Welfare I am anyway, heh, heh!)  Well, this ain’t that kind of Welfare anyways, but it might have something to do with that Obama-Care that I been readin’ so much about.

After going to my own doctor, (when I can get an appointment with him.  I think I told you fellas before that Doc Pritcherd is a busy man what with the Provision Medicare Facility, Plumbing Supply House and Bait Store here in Provision, Louisiana) and suffering  the discomfort and embarrassment of a colonoscopy I decided to have my next one carried out while visiting some of my like-minded friends in San Francisco, where the beautiful nurses are allegedly much more gentle and accommodating.
Well, I’m tell you fellas, as I lay naked on my side on the table, the gorgeous nurse began my procedure.
“Don’t worry, at this stage of the procedure it’s quite normal to get an erection,” the nurse told me.
“I haven’t got an erection,” I replied.
“No, but I have,” replied the nurse.
Fellas, don’t be getting a colonoscopy in San Francisco.

Another great offering from our own queen of Pun…

My cat found a mysterious sweater, but the mystery was soon unraveled.

When the bad poet stood in front of the judge, the judge thought the punishment should fit the rhyme.

I didn’t understand the math, so the teacher summed it up for me.

Thief caught stealing corn from garden – charged with stalking!

Breaking News Story:

Explosion at local Cheese factory…

Nothing left but de Brie.

Is the Origami Society still around?  I heard they folded.

Clothes don’t necessarily make the man, but a good suit makes a lawyer.

The trailer for the movie was produced without a hitch!

He almost invested in a poultry farm, but chickened out at the last minute.

Eggs make lousy comedians. They always crackup at their own yokes.

At the petting zoo I saw a sheep scratching itself. Turns out it had fleece.

Does that screwdriver belong to Philip?

The bass player in one of our local bands got fired because he got into treble.

Hey!  This just might work!

President Obama’s heavy high school pot smoking is described in a new bio by David Maraniss. This could be his second-term recovery plan that works. Legalizing pot and then taxing it could allow Americans to smoke their way back to a balanced federal budget.

 

The Window Through Which We Look…

A young couple moves into a new neighborhood.
The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging the Wash outside.
“That laundry is not very clean”, she said. “She doesn’t know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap.”
Her husband looked on, but remained silent.
Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would make the same comments.
About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband:
“Look, she has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this.”
The husband said, “I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows.”
And so it is with life. What we see when watching others depends on the purity of the window through which we look!

The Space Shuttle “Enterprise” was just Piggy-Backed to NYC on a 747.  Then why do they act like my extra bag is going to take the plane down?

 

 

Some of you have been concerned for my health and I thought I’d tell you about my new workout program…

I am walking with a neighbor every day.

I never knew walking with someone else was such an incentive.

We don’t talk much during the walk though.

My neighbor walks about 10 feet ahead of me.

I only started the program this week.. And it’s only Saturday.
So far, I have followed her for 10 miles . . . Without even using my cane!
I am feeling better each mile and my heart condition, my blood pressure and my breathing seem to be improving.

Thanks for your concern.

not sure if this one is going to work here or not!

Yeah, my scale gives me the same crappy back talk!

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.

2012 Revision/update

Give a man a welfare check, a free cell phone with unlimited free minutes, cash for his clunker, food stamps, section 8 housing, free contraceptives, Medicaid, ninety-nine weeks of unemployment, free drugs, Air Jordan shoes, and he will vote Democratic for life.

Yup, that’s exactly right

Of course it does.

How about a new pictorial series?  This one called:

Transportation Consternation

Yes, that is a cow in the back seat.

Geez!  Ya think?

And it was a sight to behold!

I found this quite an interesting article.  This was sent to me by my Dad, whom, I’m sure, got it from someone else.  I tried to do my due diligence and everything that I found supported this information.
We often forget that it’s not really the man in the oval office who’s in charge.  Most of the time he’s just the ringleader and ‘tis the clowns who really run the circus!
Thanks for reading along and I’d like to hear your opinions.

Tends to make a lot more things fall into place, doesn’t it?  Well, for me it does, any how.  It means also that not only do we have to get rid of the Loony Left in the White House, but we have to do the same with Congress and the Senate so that the right will have a chance to fix this mess by having all the tools needed.
Come on folks.
The Left have had 4 years of a majority to fix this crap and all they’ve done is made it worse, let’s give it a try the other way, 4 years of right dominance and see which works out better!

And how about this one for a billboard all over the country!  The Democrats are demanding the last 12 years of Romney’s Tax Returns… can you say hypocrite?

My new favorite bumper sticker:

 Well we’re broiling here in Texas already. Not quite as bad as this time last year where we had already had 2 back to back 105 degree days but steady low 90s all the same. According to the Weather Guessers:

Spring fever: US smashes heat record for season

WASHINGTON (AP) — Call it spring’s fever. Federal records show the U.S. just finished its hottest spring on record.

March, April and May in the Lower 48 states beat the oldest spring temperature record by a full 2 degrees. The three months averaged 57.1 degrees, more than 5 degrees above average. That’s the most above normal for any U.S. season on record. Meteorologists define those three months as spring.

and as if that were not bad enough, they continue their litany of good news:

The first five months of 2012 were the hottest start to a year in U.S. weather record history. The 12-month period starting last June is also the hottest on record.

however before all you AL-ien GORE-ites and you Vapor Trail Conspiracy Theorist Vapor Headed Tree Huggers out there start crowing about “Global Warning! Global Warming! We never met a half baked theory of mismatched and excessively manipulated data we couldn’t gleefully and ignorantly swallow whole for later regurgitation as gospel truth!” the weather guessers point at a different reason:

Meteorologists blamed a persistent weather pattern.

Unfortunately this also means we are slipping back into drought conditions again slowly but surely as well. Now I can hear a few of you more inquiring minds (and dependable straight men) saying “Gee Lethal, how hot IS it in Texas?!”  Well I’m glad you asked let me just put up this photo by way of illustrating the answer to that point:

We just grind up a salt lick and toss the the feed corn with it and a little corn oil load the feeder station and give ‘er a couple hours and then PRESTO munches not only for the deer but the hunters as well!

Seriously though, Sunday we had a NWS Warning for a Heat Index of 105 to 112, Monday that same warning read Heat Index of 103 to 107 and  it’s respected to continue in the 102 to 105 range for the rest of the week.

I’d like to express my thanks to those who commented or wrote to express they’re sympathy for Molly & my having suffered a substantial unauthorized withdrawal from our bank account. I’m pleased to say we were able to resolve the situation quickly and fairly easily, abet with copious amounts of Tylenol and Tums. The money is back in our account where it belongs, true to their word and advertizing BoA had it back there in 24 hours, though they took substantially longer to inform us that all had been corrected and all was in fact as it should be again.

Because this was not an individual but a shady financial outfit doing the unauthorized stealing it is unclear if I will get my pound of flesh and see them prosecuted for their antics. I doubt that we are the sole beneficiaries of this sort of tactic by them and I am hoping that the complaints made both by myself and the BoA to 2 different State Attorney General’s Offices will have some positive result. Mean time I am reviewing other possible avenues of pursuing punitive litigation and/or criminal charges against them for their actions via other venues.

Even more important than coffee you are all no doubt dying to get to (pauses for the gasps of amazement to settle down) is something else today, tomorrow is Flag Day here in the U.S.A. A day that gets largely overlooked unless you’ve fought for it, under it or to raise it in some foreign place under hostile fire or so it seems.

We here at DL/LL Electronic Media Enterprises would like you all to join us in taking a moment to render honors to this enduring symbol of our nation.

Please take this moment to consider exactly what the Pledge of Allegiance is all about with one of the wisest patriots I have ever had the pleasure of listening to. 

 

 

OH MAN! Some of you really WERE desperate to get to the coffee!

That BETTER be Impish’s Pot! 

….the race…The REAL Story

Late Night Laughs

The Tonight Show With Jay Leno

Mark Zuckerberg started Facebook in his Harvard dorm room and in eight years built it into the most popular waste of time the world has ever seen.

Al Gore has a new girlfriend. Apparently, it’s getting pretty serious. He’s already been over to bore her parents.

Gore and his girlfriend were spotted taking long walks on the beach, measuring how much the sea is rising.

President Obama gave the commencement speech at Barnard College the other day. He told graduates their future is bright unless they want jobs.

Late Show With David Letterman

A 1920 Babe Ruth uniform sold at a sports memorabilia auction for $4 million. As a matter of fact, this is the uniform he was wearing when he was first dating Betty White.

Donald Trump has a game show called “Celebrity Apprentice.” Arsenio Hall is the new champion. That was a real wake-up call for me. One day you’re hosting a late-night talk show and the next day you’re getting coffee for Donald Trump.

That Facebook guy, Mark Zuckerberg, got married over the weekend. His company goes public, and he’s now worth $100 billion. Then he gets married. He may not be as smart as we thought.

Facebook is worth $100 billion. Today it was friended by Greece.

The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson

Police discovered 800 pounds of marijuana in the waters off the coast, just floating in the water. The authorities are advising surfers to stay out of the water. There is nothing more dangerous than a shark with the munchies.

A lot of people say they use Facebook to reconnect with old friends. No thanks. If I’m not friends with you anymore, there’s probably a reason. And that reason is I owe you money.

Some people use Facebook to check up on ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends. That just seems creepy to me. I like it the old-fashioned way. If you want to check up on an ex, go through their trash.

Andy Warhol said that in the future everyone will be famous for 15 minutes. Facebook is exactly like that except you’re not really famous and your 15 minutes goes on forever.

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Season seven of “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” premiered last night. I really thought I was caught up with them, but now I realize I’m not. It’s such a busy time for the Kardashians right now with the show starting and the NBA playoffs, which as you know is their prime mating season.

Any of you see the eclipse yesterday? I’ve never met anyone with eye damage from an eclipse, but they talk about it all the time. And that proves something I’ve always suspected, that nature is trying to kill us. We have to fight back and kill it first.

No one was more affected by the eclipse than the notorious tanning mom. Stupid moon stole five precious minutes of UV rays from her face and now she’s never going to get those back.

Shares of Facebook stock dropped from the opening day price of $38 to around $34 today. They say if it drops any lower, Mitt Romney will swoop in and divide it up into Face and Book.

Late Night With Jimmy Fallon

Mark Zuckerberg and his girlfriend got married — one day after Facebook raised $16 billion on the stock market. Zuckerberg listed the 10 things he loves about her, while she listed the 16 billion things she loves about him.

Mark Zuckerberg got married. Their reception was annoying, though. Right when everyone got used to the seating arrangement, Zuckerberg changed the layout for no reason.

President Obama tossed around a football at Soldier Field, home of the Chicago Bears. Obama told Biden to go long. Then, he hopped into his car and drove away.

Happy birthday to Mr. T, who turned 60 years old today. You can tell he is getting old. Today he pitied the fool who couldn’t get Barry Manilow tickets.

 

And my personal addition to the Looney Liberal Logic 101 Gallery:

Ok now that you had the carrot in the form of laughs at the liberal’s expense time for the stick in the form of hard facts about what exactly another 4 years of  an Obama Presidency might well mean to us. For those of you with weak hearts &/or stomachs I suggest you scroll by the rest of this thought.

         

Political Reality of the Next Four Years

Read and pass on please even if you’ve already seen it and passed it on before.

Columnist Andrew McCarthy gives us what probably is the most important question regarding the upcoming presidential election….
“…..if Mitt wins the nomination, as seems very likely, I will enthusiastically support his candidacy.

For my friends who have hesitation on that score, I’d just ask you to keep four things in mind:

1.. Justice Scalia just turned 78
2.. Justice Kennedy will turn 78 later this year
3.. Justice Breyer will be 76 in August
4.. Justice Ginsburg turned 81 about a week ago.

We wish them all well, of course, but the brute fact is that whoever we elect as president in November is almost certainly going to choose at least one and maybe more new members of the Supreme Court — in addition to hundreds of other life-tenured federal judges, all of whom will be making momentous decisions about our lives for decades to come.
If you don’t think it matters whether the guy making those calls is Mitt Romney or Barack Obama, I think you’re smokin’ something funky….”
So for anybody who is thinking of not voting because your favorite didn’t get nominated, or writing in a candidate who can’t win…

Imagine this: SUPREME COURT JUSTICE ERIC HOLDER

 

Scared the crap out of you didn’t I?  I’ll wait go clean yourself and find some clean skivvies. For those of your with better sphincter control, how’s that heart rate now? There is so many wide eyed people with stand up hair from pacemakers working over time out there to make the audience look like a damned multi colored Chia Pet Forest!

We have an opportunity to stop this from ever happening, BUT ONLY ONE SHOT AT IT. Obama gets elected in November he’s got nothing left to lose. HE’s already said to the Russians that once he get re-elected he’ll have a lot more latitude. That folks is called a permeation, a warning a foretelling of the disasters to come if he does succeed.

That means EVERYONE who reads this blog and agrees Impish and I needs to get out and vote come November. If you don’t like standing in lines get an absentee ballot from fill it out and return it.

 Let’s not waste our one chance for REAL LEGITIMATE SAFE & SANE GOOD OLD FASHION AMERICAN VALUES Hope and Change.

For Sale or Trade

You are probably not very interested in any used farm equipment, but you might enjoy this ad taken from Craig’s List:

Fifty year old manure spreader – $1 [Washington, D.C.]

Fifty-year old manure spreader. Not sure of brand. Said to have been produced in Kenya. Used for a few years in Indonesia before being smuggled into the US via Hawaii. Of questionable pedigree. Does not appear to have ever been worked hard.

Apparently it was pampered by various owners over the years. It doesn’t work very often, but when it does it can really sling the manure for amazing distances. I am hoping to retire the manure spreader next November.

I really don’t want it hanging around getting in the way. I would prefer a foreign buyer to relocate the manure spreader out of the country. I would be willing to trade it for a nicely framed copy of the United States Constitution.

Location: Currently being stored in a big white house in Washington, D.C.

Obama:

    

 

Woman pelts intruder with paintball gun

By Chris Paschenko The Daily News Published June 9, 2012

GALVESTON — A woman armed with a paintball gun pelted an intruder Friday inside her home. Galveston police arrived and found the accused burglar inside covered in yellow paint, authorities said.
Elvis Alexander, 53, was charged with burglary of a habitation with intent to commit theft, said Lt. Michael Gray, a Galveston police spokesman. Police took Alexander to the Galveston County Jail, and he remained in the building Friday afternoon on a $40,000 bond, authorities said.

Carrie King, 34, called police about 10:30 a.m., saying she was hiding from an intruder inside her home in the 1100 block of 36th Street, Gray said. An officer arrived, heard yelling and went inside.
“He heard her firing the paintball gun and the sound of the impacts of the paint balls,” Gray said.
Alexander was shot about four times, but he didn’t need medical treatment. Police arrested him inside King’s house, Gray said.
Police accused Alexander of taking coins and Ramen noodles from inside the home.
Alexander lives within four blocks of King and had cut her grass in the past, Gray said.

Cut printing costs

Printer ink and toner is so darn pricey that sometimes it’s cheaper to buy a brand new printer than a new set of cartridges. In fact, that’s where printer companies maker their money.

Fortunately there’s several very easy ways to cut back on your ink habit. One of them is GreenCloud Printer.

This handy download allows you to visualize your printing tasks so you don’t print unnecessary pages. You can also consolidate multiple pages onto one sheet of paper and enjoy double-sided printing.

GreenCloud Printer can print low-resolution or grayscale to reduce the amount of ink you use. Or you can use it to eliminate paper and ink entirely by sending documents to email, Dropbox and Google Docs.

Cost: Free
Systems: Windows XP, Windows Vista, and Windows 7

http://www.obviousidea.com/windows-software/greencloud-printer/

Nude Men Clock

I like the way the guys on the minute hand are tapping their foot as they wait for the minute to pass.

Be sure to click on the clock to make it digital.

It’s actually the correct time even counting the seconds !!!

http://lovedbdb.com/nudemenClock/index2.html

Civics 101

A black kid asks his dad, “Dad, what’s democracy?” (Wait…the kid doesn’t know his Dad…let’s start over….)

A black kid asks his mom, “Mama, what’s a democracy?”

“Well, son, that’s when whites work every day so we can get all our benefits.

“But mama, don’t the white people get pissed off about that?”

“Sure they do, Baby, but that’s called racism!”

Hmm…Apparently more liberal illogic!

 

Kids are putting Drano, tin foil, and a little water in plastic drink bottles and capping it up – leaving it on lawns, in mail boxes, in gardens, on driveways etc. just waiting for you to pick it up intending to put it in the rubbish, but you’ll never make it!!!

If the bottle is picked up, and the bottle is shaken even just a little – in about 30 seconds or less it builds up enough gas which then explodes with enough force to remove some of your extremities. The liquid that comes out is boiling hot as well.

Watch this please-

 

Don’t pick up any plastic bottles that may be lying in your yards or in the gutter, etc.

Pay attention to this. A plastic bottle with a cap. A little Drano. A little water.

A small piece of foil. Disturb it by moving it; and BOOM!!

No fingers left unburned (chemical) and other serious effects to your face, eyes, etc.

Please ensure that everyone that may not have email access are also informed of this.

For verification and more information, click here: http://www.snopes.com/crime/warnings/bottlebomb.asp

 

And they want 12 years of Romney’s tax returns????

This should be a billboard!..

 

Pretty sure I blacked out the only inaccuracy in the list (#14 was a fairly well documented urban myth/misrepresentation of the facts…you know a lot like most Democratic/Liberal answers to questions regarding Obama) ‘lest the whiney liberals try to make a federal case of misrepresentation of a single fact as if we were some news or media source.  In truth it gets harder and harder to do the verification of facts on Obama and his administration everyday because they are so busy sealing things or sneaking/ hiding their actions largely with the aid of the liberal press whose responsibility it is SUPPOSED to be to keep us unbiasedly informed of ALL THE NEWS  and HARD FACTS

 

 

A really good summary of the many things wrong with our country these days. Oh, I just can’t wait till Nov. 6! That won’t solve all of these things, but I’ll take (or get rid of) whatever I can!

MAYBE THIS GUY SHOULD RUN FOR PRESIDENT!!
(At least he’s got his thinking cap on…which is more than the other lame-brains in Washington do!

 

House committee schedules contempt vote against Holder

Oh LORD! Don’t be teasing me like this!

By Sharyl Attkisson   June 11, 2012 3:00 AM http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-57450110-503544/house-committee-schedules-contempt-vote-against-holder/?tag=cbsnewsMainColumnArea

(CBS News) CBS News has learned the House Oversight Committee will vote next week on whether to hold Attorney General Eric Holder in contempt of Congress. It’s the fourth time in 30 years that Congress has launched a contempt action against an executive branch member.

This time, the dispute stems from Holder failing to turn over documents subpoenaed on October 12, 2011 in the Fast and Furious “gunwalking” investigation.

Issa: 31 Democrats Will Vote To Condemn Holder

Republican compares Fast and Furious scandal to Iran Contra, Watergate. Republicans seek a contempt vote.

Oh Happy Day….Oh Happy Da-ay…

Zeke Miller BuzzFeed Staff posted Jun 11, 2012 11:01am EDT http://www.buzzfeed.com/zekejmiller/issa-i-expect-31-democrats-will-be-with-us-on-hol

House Committee and Oversight and Government Reform Chairman Darrell Issa told BuzzFeed today that he expects 31 Democrats will join Congressional Republicans in finding Attorney General Eric Holder in contempt of Congress for failing to turn over documents relating to a botched gun-running investigation.

Issa, who has risen to national prominence as the point of the Republican spear in investigating alleged Obama administration wrongdoing, called for a committee vote on contempt next week in advance of a full House vote on Holder’s conduct in the so-called “Fast and Furious” operation, in which a federal agent was allegedly killed with a gun the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms allowed to be trafficked.

“The real question is, we’re opening up the data that we have to all the members, so as they start reading specifics of what we know was known and was hidden from Congress, and what we’d like to know and been denied, how many of the Democrats will vote with us,” Issa said after speaking at the Personal Democracy Forum in New York. “I expect we’ll have about 31 Democrats with us.”

Holder needs to be charged w/ contempt of intelligence and intelligent people too, as well as the illegal sex act of PDAs with Obama’s backside on a regular & prolonged basis.

SCRAM IMPISH! Wait for Saturday! 

Damned insecure Dragon!

Luxury car theft suspect claims history was on his side

The way he saw it, writing hot checks to buy five luxury cars from CarMax was legal because the United States went off the gold standard in 1933, according to the Harris County Sheriff’s Department.

The Federal Reserve Bank, however, didn’t buy Carroll Joubert Jr.’s story, said Deputy Thomas Gilliland, a spokesman at the sheriff’s office.

Carroll Joubert Jr. (Harris County SO)

Joubert, 47, was being held Monday at the Harris County Jail under a $150,000 bond, charged with the thefts of five high-end vehicles totaling $297,000, court records show.

He is accused of forging five checks on the Federal Reserve Bank of Georgia to purchase a 2011 Cadillac Escalade, a 2009 Lexus, a 2010 Chevrolet Corvette, a 2008 Land Rover and a 2011 BMW, Gilliland said.

“He believes he can just write checks off the Federal Reserve because all Americans have the right to do that,” Gilliland said, adding that Joubert used the routing and account numbers of the Federal Reserve Bank of Georgia.

On June 5, 1933, the United States went off the gold standard, a monetary system in which currency is backed by gold, when Congress enacted a joint resolution nullifying the right of creditors to demand payment in gold, according to history.com.

“The United States had been on a gold standard since 1879, except for an embargo on gold exports during World War I, but bank failures during the Great Depression of the 1930s frightened the public into hoarding gold, making the policy untenable,” the website states.

Armed with a warrant, investigators with the Harris County Sheriff’s Office Auto Theft Unit and the United States Secret Service arrested Joubert on June 1. The agencies are joint members of the Houston Area Fraud Task Force.

CarMax officials called authorities on May 4 when they became suspicious of the checks, which eventually cleared the bank, Gilliland said.

Investigators had the dealership delay the first two purchases. Despite the delay, Joubert wrote three more checks, he said.

“The guy really thought he was getting away with it,” Gilliland said.

History of stupidity and getting caught maybe was on his side!

 

 

Wise Sayings about Government

1. In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a Congress. — John Adams

2. If you don’t read the newspaper, you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper, you are misinformed. — Mark Twain

3. Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself. — Mark Twain

4. I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. — Winston Churchill

5. A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. — George Bernard Shaw

6. A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. — G. Gordon Liddy

7. Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. — James Bovard

8. Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. — Douglas Casey

9. Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. — P.J. O’Rourke

10. Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. — Frederic Bastiat

11. Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it. — Ronald Reagan

12. I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. — Will Rogers

13. If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it’s free. — P.J. O’Rourke

14. In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. — Voltaire

15. Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn’t mean politics won’t take an interest in you. — Pericles (430 B.C.)

16. No man’s life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session. — Mark Twain

17. Talk is cheap… except when Congress does it. — Anonymous

18. The government is like a baby’s alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other. — Ronald Reagan

19. The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery. — Winston Churchill

20. The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. — Mark Twain

21. The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools. — Herbert Spencer

22. There is no distinctly native American criminal class… save Congress. — Mark Twain

23. A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. — Gerald Ford

 

IF the political reality of the next four years as discussed above didn’t make you wet or fill your pants and/or failed to give you palpitations or an outright heart attack this Parting Shot should finish the job no sweat and leave you with the Night Terrors besides as a parting gift.

Those of you who have been around for any length of time know I have a MAJOR burr under my saddle for not ONLY the interference of the Democratically controlled Education system and Child Welfare systems in the rearing of our children but for their blatant outright attempts at brain washing our children into being good little Democrat Podlings under the guise of “educating and enlightening” them. They attempt to teach our children that ANY thought contrary to what the teacher is espousing in wrong and often punish our children for thinking for themselves or refusing to go along with the brainwashing. Case in point:

NC Teacher Screams at Student: It’s Criminal to Criticize Obama

The teacher yells — literally yells — that Obama is “due the respect that every other president is due … Listen,” she continues, “let me tell you something, you will not disrespect the president of the United States in this classroom.” She yells over the student repeatedly, and yells at him that it’s disrespect for him to even debate about Romney and Obama.

The student says that he can say what he wants.

“Not about him, you won’t,” says the teacher.

The teacher then tells the student – wrongly – that it is a criminal offense to say bad things about a president. “Do you realize that people were arrested for saying things bad about Bush? Do you realize you are not supposed to slander the president?”

The student says that it would violate First Amendment rights to jail someone for such sentiments. “You would have to say some pretty f’d up crap about him to be arrested,” says the student. “They cannot take away your right to have your opinion … They can’t take that away unless you threaten the president.”

Clearly, the student should be teaching the class, and the teacher should be reading the Constitution more often.

The school district classified the exchange – which is obviously just another case of a pro-Obama teacher shoveling her views down students’ throats – a “learning experience.” It isn’t. It’s political intimidation, and it’s just another example of how the American public school system has become an indoctrination tool for the left. This teacher should be suspended or fired forthwith, if only for incompetence.

 

It was a moment in a North Carolina classroom that was caught on tape recently that is making national headlines, after a teacher was recorded yelling at a student in her social studies class for criticizing President Obama, even telling him that he could get arrested. The clip features a conversation in which teacher Tanya Dixon-Neely tells students that it is a criminal offense to criticize Barack Obama and that they could be “arrested” for doing so.

It all began when the topic of the day was a discussion regarding GOP contender Mitt Romney being a bully in high school. A student responds by pointing out that Obama admits in his own book, Dreams from My Father, that he also bullied a girl when he was in school.

The teacher responded by saying that she didn’t know of any such comment … and that’s when the shouting began.
In the audio, you can hear the teacher in question yelling at the boy, saying, “That’s disrespect!” The student then responds, “You’re disrespecting Romney!” That, of course, prompts another response from the teacher, who says, “How’s that disrespect? He’s not the president! You will not disrespect the President of the United States in this classroom!”

Student Who Recorded Teacher Yelling At Him For Criticizing Obama Speaks Out

According to Breitbart News, “The student had asked his friend to record the discussion to “prove to his parents what he has been trying to tell them for some time. The teacher in this video has a long history of pushing a liberal agenda, by shouting down students. She is very intolerant of other points of view that she does not share. The atmosphere at this school is not very conducive to opposing views.”

 

Teacher Tanya Dixon-Neely is now suspended with pay after audio was found of her yelling at a student for criticizing President Obama. It all began in the classroom when the topic of the day was a discussion regarding GOP contender Mitt Romney being a bully in high school. When the student challenged the teacher, the audio reveals she began yelling at him.

The school reacted to the controversy by claiming it represented “a learning experience,” and failed to indicate whether it would take any action against Dixon-Neely for her blatantly misleading and downright dangerous teaching.

[Yeah I’ll just bet he learned a LOT about what happens when you disagree with a Democrat and attempt to exercise YOUR free speech right by expressing YOUR views in front of them during this particular experience- L.L.]

There are numerous examples where children are being made to chant songs worshipping Obama in schools, perform military-style parades in his honor, or watch propaganda videos about celebrities affirming their allegiance to him.

In September 2009, the White House announced it would stream an Obama speech directly into government schools. The speech was accompanied by lesson plans issued by the Department of Education which instructed teachers to ask children “Why is it important that we listen to the President and other elected officials.”

This was merely a continuation of the cult of personality that has been built up around Obama with the aid of the education system.

This creepy cult-like video showing celebrities pledging their “service” to the Obama government’s global warming agenda was shown in Utah schools.

 

This now infamous “Obama Youth” video shows students at a middle school in Missouri performing a military style drill while chanting slogans about Obama’s policies.

 

A middle school teacher in Missouri was suspended Monday for putting a video on YouTube of his students chanting lines from Barack Obama speeches and wearing military fatigues.

The Junior Fraternity students studied Obama’s economic plan with the teacher, and the superintendent did not know whether the teacher or the students scripted the routine. The group should have also studied John McCain’s economic plan, the superintendent said.

In the video, eighth- and ninth-graders wearing military camouflage pants and navy t-shirts chant and perform a routine in the style of a step show, a dance popular among African-American fraternities at universities.

The students enter the room chanting “Alpha. Omega. Alpha. Omega.” Then, one at a time, they state things they were “inspired” to do by Barack Obama, including becoming an architect and a sheriff. At the end of the video, the students make statements about Obama’s healthcare plan. “Obama’s healthcare plan will be able to provide participants the ability to move from job to job without taking their healthcare coverage,” one says

Joyce McGautha, superintendent of the Urban Community Leadership Academy, a charter school for students in fifth through ninth grades in Kansas City, Mo., said She would not disclose the teacher’s name. “At this time because of the legal action that we’ll probably have to take against the teacher, I’m not going to give his name. As far as [the teacher is] concerned, I think he’ll gets what was supposed to come to him. But I don’t think the children should be the victims of his stupidity.”

[Appears to me they already ARE victims of his stupidity- and his Democratic Pro-Socialist brain washing to boot.- L.L.]

Children at Sand Hill Elementary School in Asheville, NC recite Obama campaign slogans.

[Again with No. Carolina! Someone better adjust that Red State/Blue State map because No. Carolina isn’t so Red anymore apparently!]

 

A creepy video of young children in Illinois singing a Maoist-style homage to Obama’s government, chanting “Yes We Can.” A shockingly accurate comparison with the Hitler Youth is made at the end of the clip.

[I have to say I’m not at all fond of the “Nazi/Hitler/Storm Trooper/Gestapo Card’ both because its over used and generally the resort of those incapable of arguing their case on its merits, much like the race card (or Obama supporters, but I repeat myself don’t I?) however when the card truly fits you just have to call a spade a spade and in this case….]

The following video is approx 4 minutes. In the first 3:30 it shows kids being propagandized by Barack Hussein Obama’s supporters. The last 30 seconds shows the ‘Hitler youth’ being propagandized the same exact way. Note how both have the overbearing display of flags,posters,etc. Glassy eyed children blindly reciting what their elders told them to.

 

[Got any warm sensations in your pants yet? That Pacemaker starting to feel like a low voltage Tazer as yet? Too bad! I ain’t through scaring the bejayus out of you at what is happening right under your noses just yet]

Shocking video of a teacher forcing children to worship Obama. The kids look largely disinterested.

in 2000-2008 when Bush read to school kids the liberals said. ”ITS BRAINWASHING IMPEACH HIM RAAAAA!!!!!!!” and now the liberals says when kids have to sing about the greatness of Obama they say. ‘Oh don’t worry they are just singing, it’s a learning opportunity!”

Translation: HEY! Can’t you see we’re busy brainwashing your kid here? Butt out of  our business. You elected us that’s all you need to know about what goes on in your local school since we don’t think you are capable of raising your children correctly, which is to say specifically in the proscribed liberal manner!

Readers I semi-sort of apologize for scaring the crap out of you twice in an issue but reality and the truth are often not pleasant and are scary. IF we judge by the votes for the issues and the comments left (or more precisely the LACK of both) most of you are still ambivalent and disinterested in this serious subject. The first scare ( Supreme Court Justice Holder) is a prediction of Orwellian proportion but none the less a real possibility. The second one is currently happening right under everyone’s noses! We don’t have the luxury of time we need to act on this now.

Getting back to the source of this Parting Shot, “Teacher” ( it’s in quotes because I am using it on the broadest loosest sense of the word possible- the adult(?) at the head of a class of kids) Tanya Dixon-Neely and her actions I have a few remarks that I originally intended to  close with before I wound all those other examples of the chronic levels of Democratic brainwashing and perversion of our children’s values.

The teacher’s “Fact of the Day” was apparently that Romney is a bully.  clearly the teacher’s mind was already made up and any ‘discussion’ was going to be fruitless until she made all the students think like her.

When this kid starts questioning if Obama also bullied a little girl in school (by his own admission), the teacher flips out, and insists that she will not permit “disrespecting” of the President. That of course (liberal logic) doesn’t apply to Romney, though, you see, because he’s not the president yet as all of only Romney’s background is relevant while most of Obama’s is held as irrelevant and/or sealed away.

Let’s give this brain surgeon higher pay. God knows she could be making millions working for A.C.O.R.N. as a community organizer.  Achievements? Getting absolutely pwn3d and FUBARed in basic logic and facts by a frickin’ fifteen year old and taped doing it.  Qualifications? Expert in the Intimidation of Those of Non Democratic Points of View, specializing in teenagers. and zealous worship of Comrade Obama the Liberal Messiah.

This teacher has been suspended with pay. Suspended WITH PAY is such a crime. This rabid liberal attacked a student for raising a question and she gets rewarded with a paid vacation… unfreaking believable! Where do they find these ‘teachers’? HOW do the pass the certification tests? Why do I suspect ‘Affirmative Action’ reared its ugly head with regards to Dixon-Neely’s position somehow?  The kid was more mature about the situation than her!!! Shame on Dixon-Neely for losing control of herself. I don’t know which is worse – the Ebonics crap speech, her racism or her communism.  She needs to be terminated A.S.A.P.!   She cannot teach anyone anything– maybe the smallest children potty training. But teenagers it is readily apparent already know far, far more than she does; she can only teach then Retarded Liberal Thinking.

North Carolina supposed to be a Red State, this just goes to show you how Blue our Education System really is that she got suspended WITH pay and the School system refused to admit she did anything wrong until this got on the national news and they started squirming under the bright lights. Their position before that? Oh it was a “learning experience”. Sound familiar? Every time some one says HEY! HANG ON!  WTF IS GOING ON HERE?! I DON’T THINK THIS IS RIGHT! They automatically reply “Learning experience!” and then they’ll cite School Board policy not to talk about employees, students or on going investigations, preferably 2 of those in back to back sentences and then go hide until they think the incident has blown over.

This is our education system. It is run by Democrats who push around Republican &/or Centrist raised children because of their position of authority. You’re expecting your child to come out and learn critical thinking from this woman? There’s nothing being taught here but intimidation.  She’s making the point apparently in the front of the entire classroom and when he continues, she walks right up to him screaming:  “You will not disrespect the President of the United States.”  So now you have the intimidation factor… you WILL do as we say or we will persecute you. You only  have the right to free independent thought & speech when it agrees with what we say and tell you to think. Thank God for this kid. It’s not about the left or the right, it’s about standing up and admitting that we currently have the worst president in history. Give this kid credit: He does not fold under threat by an alleged authority figure he stands up for the facts, his opinion and his rights in the fact of intimidation and misuse of power by an authority figure. That is what should be being taught though its obvious this is not something he learned in that class and likely not in that school either.

This woman is the kind of person who only voted for Obama because he’s black. Trust me when I say there were a lot of people who voted for him only for that reason. The fact that she is capable of still being an Obama supporter to this day is enough grounds for dismissal.

 

and a Democratically ‘Educated’ and Brainwashed Kid too!