Dragon Laffs #1276

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Adult-Content-1_thumb1_thumb_thumb_t[1]Good Morning Campers!  Today’s Dragon Laffs is being brought to you from my back yard!  Why am I not in my usual easy chair, lap top rakishly across my more than ample lap?  Because today is National Get Outdoors Day!  Everyone knows that our kids spend way too much time indoors thanks to all the new digital entertainment and toys at hand.  It’s easy for all of us to spend too much time inside.
Thankfully, the outdoors is just as great <slap at a mosquito> as it’s always <crush an ant trying to get to my donut> been.  In order to encourage <swat at a bee heading for my coffee> healthy, active behavior in kids and families, the USDA Forest Service and the American Recreation Coalition created National Get Outdoors Day.  <crush two more ants after my donut.  Looks like they are gathering more support>  June 9th (which just so happens to be today) is the fifth annual <ants are now plotting with the bees for a two-pronged attack on my breakfast> National G.O. Day, and the official website is full of ways to celebrate. <I wonder if it’s full of ways to protect yourself from the creatures who call the Outdoors home? Ouch!  Just got stung! Little bastard!  Get over…> You’ll find all the National Parks with G.O. Day festivities, <aha!  Bug spray ought to do the trick> as well as links to <Damn!  My eyes!  My eyes!> tons of outdoor information.
I whole heartedly encourage <Oh bullshit!  I’m going back inside where it’s safe!> you to get outside with your family this summer.
<slamming of the back door>

Okay, let’s get on with the laughter, shall we?

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This one goes really well with last weeks Last Word…

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Here is a small gathering of Irish Jokes, sent in by our dear camper K² (Yes, I did just throw him under the bus, you don’t think that I’m gonna be run over alone if I can avoid it, do you?) although he does throw a nice little disclaimer right in the front…

Irish jokes are simple……so the English, Welsh and Scots can understand them!!


AH, THE IRISH!!!

Paddy says to Mick,  “Christmas is on a Friday this year”… Mick says “Let’s hope it’s not the 13th.”

Paddy & Mick find three grenades, so they take them to a police station. Mick: “What if one explodes before we get there?Paddy: “We’ll lie and say we only found two.”Paddy’s in the bathroom and Murphy shouts to him.  “Did you find the shampoo?”  Paddy says, “yes but it’s for dry hair and I’ve just wet mine.”

 

Paddy goes to the vet with his goldfish. “I think it’s got epilepsy” he tells the vet.
Vet takes a look and says “It seems calm enough to me”. Paddy says, “I haven’t taken it out of the bowl yet”.
Paddy spies a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope “DO NOT BEND “.
Paddy spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick the bloody thing up.

Paddy shouts frantically into the phone “My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!”
“Is this her first child?” asks the Doctor.

“No”, shouts Paddy, “this is her husband!” 

Paddy was driving home, drunk as a skunk, suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another.
A cop car pulls him over as he veers about all over the road. Paddy tells the cop about all the trees in the road.
Cop says “For gods sake Paddy, that’s your air freshener swinging about!”
An old Irish farmer’s dog goes missing and he’s inconsolable. His wife says “Why don’t you put an advert in the paper?”
He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing. “What did you put in the paper?” his wife asks. “Here boy” he replies.

 

Paddy’s in jail. Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet. “What the hell you doing?” he asks. “Hanging myself” Paddy replies.

“It should be around your neck” says the Guard. 
“I know” says Paddy “but I couldn’t  breathe.An answer I can understand. An American tourist asks an Irishman:  “Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?”
To which the Irishman replies: “If they fell forwards, they’d still be in the bloody boat.”


Joe says to Paddy: “Close your curtains the next time you’re kissing your wife.  The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday.”  Paddy says: “Well the joke’s on them stupid lotbecause I wasn’t even at home yesterday.” 

Paddy says to Mick – I’m ready for a holiday, only this year I’m going to do it a bit different. 3 years ago I went to Spain and Mary got pregnant. 2 years ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant. Last year I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant.  Mick asks – So what are you going to do this year?  Paddy replies, –  I’ll take her with me!

Look out for that bloody bus!!!

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Wine taster…At a wine merchant’s, the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.
A drunken Impish Dragon with a ragged, dirty look came in to apply for the position. The director of the winery wondered how to send the dragon away without having the whole place burned to the ground.
So, taking a chance, he gave the blotto dragon a glass to drink.
Our intoxicated hero tried it and said, “It’s a Muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers.  It’s low grade, but definitely acceptable.
“That’s correct”, said the boss.
 
Another glass….
“It’s a cabernet, eight years old, a south-western slope, oak barrels, matured at 8 degrees. Requires three more years for finest results.”
“Correct.”
 
A third glass…
 ”It’s a pinot blanc champagne, high grade and exclusive,” calmly said the drunk dragon.
The director was astonished, to say the least.
 
Then he had a wicked idea and he winked at his secretary, secretly suggesting something. She left the room, and came back in with a glass of urine.
 The alcoholic Impish Dragon tried it.
 
“It’s a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant – and if I don’t get the job, I’ll name the father.”

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The federal government says that companies can not
claim high fructose corn syrup as “sugar”. Apparently
food processors were looking back to the good old days
when the Reagan Administration let them call ketchup
a vegetable.

 

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How many times have we heard complaints from people about TSA checking ridiculous people in lines at airports.  What do I mean by ridiculous?  Like babies, nuns, and little old ladies.  What possible harm could a little old lady do?  Say, some little old lady in her 90s…

Well…

How about this little old lady?
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Here you have a 94-year-old Mexican national, just simply on her way to visit her friends and relatives across the International border in Arizona.  She might be passing through the port of entry at Nogales, Arizona, several days per week!
2m
What the heck, grandma? You’re 94 years old!
Oh, come on!  What could this poor little Mexican Grandma do?
Well butter my biscuit and call me Barney, What’s all that padded stuff affixed to her body beneath her dress?  Holy cow, could that be some sort of “contraband”?
2n
Why, it’s almost 10 ½ pounds of marijuana, strapped to her spindly old body!  Grandma!  How could you?!
2o
Aww, come on…Can we blame her?  After all, she’s probably just supplementing her U.S. Social Security check that she picks up monthly at her Post Office Box on the American side of the border.
You know, this may be a rare case, but it is happening!
2p
And we can’t help but wonder how many of these trips grandma has already made across the border…toting 10 lbs of marijuana each time?
Yeah, and you know what?  Don’t expect to have the media tell you about this one…they’re too busy backing the democrats plans to increase their voter base by giving all these illegals free passes to the breakfast buffet in return for their ballots in November.

If this shit doesn’t piss you off, are you even awake?

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Awful

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Quote

“I think this whole idea of “burping” your Tupperware is silly.  Personally, I’m waiting for Tupperware I can fart.” ~ Lethal Leprechaun, 5 Jun 2012.

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Wednesday was the 68th Anniversary of D-Day, the start of the Allied invasion of Europe during World War II.  The Leprechaun and I discussed how we should address this and he brought up a very good point, that you can pretty much pick out any day of any week and have it be a significant day in history for some reason or another. 

The easiest way to show the veracity of this statement is to go to Wikipedia and type in a month and a day (example: June 09) and you will get several dozens of things that happened in history on that date… (45 Events and more than twice that many birthdays for today’s date, 9 June.  From 53 BC Roman Emperor Nero Marries Claudia Octavia, 9 years later in 62 BC, Claudia Octavia is executed and six years after that in 68 BC, Nero commits suicide.  All the way to 1944: World War II 99 civilians are hung from lampposts and balconies by German troops in Tulle, France in reprisal for maquisards attacks, ending with 2008 in the town of Lake Delton, Wisconsin, Lake Delton drains as a result of heavy flooding breaking the dam holding the lake back.) 

We all know that some events are more significant than others, such as the debut of Underdog (October 3, 1964) to the first detonation of an atomic weapon (codenamed Trinity on July 16, 1945) to…well…you get the picture. 

Each of us would consider certain events more or less significant than just about every other person on the face of the earth.  The reason we, at Dragon and Leprechaun Laffs Electronic Media, LLP (DLLEM: could be pronounced delirium) chose to remember certain days and not others is our own personal choice (or our own lousy memories in the case of things being left out). 

This date in history…the beginning of the Allied Invasion of Europe during WWII… is when the worm turned and the good guys finally started kicking some ass.  So, cheer for the good guys, remember the fallen, and press on with pride and perhaps, you too will do something that future generations will look back on and say, “Hey, did you know that today is the 207th anniversary of the day that Impish Dragon blathered on about nothing?”  Now there’s an anniversary that can be celebrated on just about any day of the year.

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Okay, I gotta put this in here…as someone who plays with this stuff for a living, I have to say that the description is actually quite good.
Let’s see…

Japanese nuclear agency apologizes after comparing radiation to angry wife

TOKAIMURA, Japan — A Japanese nuclear research agency apologized after comparing the behavior of radioactive material to an angry wife during an argument with her husband.

The Japan Atomic Energy Agency, located in Tokaimura, central Japan, removed the page from its website after a public outcry over the comparison, Kyodo News reported.

It was using the analogy to explain the difference between radioactive material, radioactivity and radiation.

“Wife’s screaming to her husband can be compared to radiation, her agitated state to radioactivity and the wife herself to radioactive material,” it said.  (Okay, maybe it’s just me, but that’s a pretty accurate analogy…don’t you think?)

A cached version of the page revealed that the agency wanted to provide easy-to-understand information — especially to women, because they had a “lower level of understanding of nuclear power.”

An agency official told Yomiuri Shimbun newspaper, “We would like to apologize for creating unpleasant feelings.”



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Okay, so how about a few charts to help us make up our minds (for those of you who still have minds left to make up)

(Okay, so that didn’t really come out the way I intended…how about for those of you who still haven’t minds that are made…um…up…um… no, better and betterthat’s not right either…)

Okay, so if you still  haven’t made up your mind on who to vote for this November, how about a couple of charts to see things the way they are…
(That was not really better)2b
Pretty self explanatory…run-away unemployment

2c
Okay, a teeny bit harder to interpret, but still not that hard.  How serious are we in losing dependence on foreign oil???  Hmm, by that last one, I’d say not very!

2d
Well, for those anti-Obamaites out there, I’d say to really prove your point you should’ve shown more than just the last 4 years.  Sure, he’s increased the National Debt to astronomical levels, but the guys that came before him did it too.  Maybe not to his level, but this chart doesn’t show that…useless visual aid.

2e
Okay, now this one works a bit better as a detriment for the Obama administration.  But…an awful lot of these problems have been going on since before his reign.  My biggest gripe is that he hasn’t done anything to move any of these trends in the opposite direction, just made them all worse, and on a much grander scale than most anyone else.

2f
This is  just out of control.  Remember the last slide?  The one that says that 47% of Americans are receiving some sort of support check monthly?  Okay, by reading that, I would almost say that that number includes military retirements (but maybe not) even so, are you telling me that basically one out of every two Americans is being supported in some way?  I’m working my ass off so someone (one individual) doesn’t have to?  Pick someone out of the crowd…if you are working for a living, that could be the guy whom you alone are supporting.  I feel like I should get his social security number so that I can at least take him off on my taxes.  Unbelievable. 

2g
This one doesn’t need any explanation except to say that it pisses me off!!!

2h
This just shows what a fucking idiot he is.  I believe they call that cronyism …

2i
so sad…2007 to 2008 were our best years. (under democratic congress) but then they dropped the ball big-time!

2j
These are all starting to make me sick.  I guess it really is that hard to get good people to do these jobs. 

2k
We’ve finally reached the end.  And this….well, this is just wrong.  I should keep my money, not be forced to give half of it away to other people.  I feel like I should call the cops for being robbed.  Geez, what a friggin’ mess they’ve gotten us in!

And I suppose all these charts and graphs and the expressing of my (God given) right of free speech has made me one of these:
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okay, so I know that I’ve heard this one before, but it is funny and this rendition is especially well written.  And it’s relatively clean.

FIRST TIME SEX

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have a dinner with her parents.

Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the  pharmacist it’s his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he’d like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl’s parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door.

“Oh, I’m so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!”

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl’s parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, ‘I had no idea you were this religious.’

The boy turns, and whispers back, ‘I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.’

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Finally A well dressed Walmart shopper


What a BRAVE and well-dressed lady!!


The per person Medicare insurance premium will increase from the present monthly fee of $96.40, rising to: $104.20 in 2012; $120.20 in 2013; And $247.00 in 2014.These are provisions incorporated in the Obamacare legislation, purposely delayed so as not to ‘confuse’ the 2012 re-election campaigns. Send this to all seniors that you know, so they will know who’s throwing them under the bus.
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cool rug
Now that is one cool rug!

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Lady gaga 2

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THE COW AND THE ICE CREAM
ONE OF THE BEST THEORIES OF WHY OBAMA WON THE ELECTION

–>>From a teacher in the Nashville area – –



“We are worried about ‘the cow’ when it is all about the ‘Ice Cream. ‘The most eye-opening civics lesson I ever had was while teaching 3rd grade. The last Presidential election was heating up and some of the
children showed an interest.  I decided we would have an election for a classpresident. We would chooseour nominees. They would make a campaign speech and the class would vote. To simplify the process, candidates were nominated by other class members. Wediscussed what kinds of characteristics thesestudents should have. We got many nominations and from those,Jamie and Olivia were picked to run for the top spot.
The class had done a great job in their selections. Both candidates were good kids.

I thought Jamie might have an advantage because he got lots of parental support.

I had never seen Olivia’s mother.

The day arrived when they were to make their speeches.

Jamie went first.

He had specific ideas about how to make our class a better place.
He ended by promising to do his very best.

Everyone applauded and he sat down.

Now is was Olivia’s turn to speak.

Her speech was concise. She said, “If you will vote for me, I will give you ice cream.” She sat down.

The class went wild. “Yes! Yes! We want ice cream.”

She surely would say more. She did not have to.

A discussion followed. How did she plan to pay for the ice cream? She wasn’t sure. But no one pursued that question. They took her at her word.

Would her parents buy it or would the class pay for it…She didn’t know.

The class really didn’t care. All they were thinking about was ice cream…

Jamie was forgotten. Olivia won by a landslide.

Every time Barack Obama opened his mouth he offered ice cream and 51.4 % of the people reacted like nine year olds.

They want ice cream.

The other 48.6% percent know they’re going to have to feed the cow and clean up the mess.”


Remember, the government cannot give anything to anyone that they have not first taken away from someone else.
Did you vote for the ice cream?

THAT, MY FRIEND, IS HOW OBAMA GOT ELECTED,BY THOSE WHO WANT EVERYTHING FOR FREE!

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Mitt Romney said his personal Hotmail email account was
hacked, after someone guessed the name of his favorite
pet.Okay, Mitt wants us to trust him to be the leader of the
free world and lead us through tough times, and the man
still uses Hotmail and an easy password?
GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney is making a special
appeal to Hispanic voters. He can relate to Hispanics; after
all, the maintenance guy on his car elevator is one.

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This one goes right along with our earlier Wal-Mart one…

A few days ago one of my Marine buddies sent me a ‘Viet Nam Veteran’ cap. I never had one of these before, and I was pretty hyped about it, especially since someone was considerate enough to take the time to give it to me.
Yesterday, I wore it when I went to Wal-Mart.  There was nothing in particular that I needed at the world’s largest retailer; but, since I retired, trips to Wally World to look at the Wal-martians is always good for some comic relief.  Besides, I always feel pretty normal after seeing some of the people that frequent the establishment.  But, I digress…enough of my psychological fixations.
While standing in line to check out, the guy in front of me, probably in his early thirties, asked, “Are you a Viet Nam Vet?”
“No,” I replied.
“Then why are you wearing that cap?”
“Because I couldn’t find the one from the War of 1812.”  I thought it was a snappy retort.
“The War of 1812, huh?” the Wal-martian queried, “When was that?”
God forgive me, but I couldn’t pass up such an opportunity.
“1936,” I answered as straight-faced as possible.
He pondered my response for a moment and responded, “Why do they call it the War of 1812 if it was in 1936?”
“It was a Black Op.  No one is supposed to know about it.”
This was beginning to be way fun!
“Dude!  Really?” he exclaimed.  “How did you get to do something that COOOOL?”
I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy and in a low voice said, “I’m not sure. I was the only Caucasian on the mission.”
“Dude,” he was really getting excited about what he was hearing, “that is seriously awesome!  But, didn’t you kind of stand out?”
“Not really.  The other guys were wearing white camouflage.”
The moron nodded knowingly.
“Listen man,” I said in a very serious tone, “You can’t tell anyone about this.  It’s still ‘top secret’ and I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“Oh yeah?” he gave me the ‘don’t threaten me look.’
“Like, what’s gonna happen if I do?”
With a really hard look I said, “You have a family don’t you?   We wouldn’t want anything to happen to them, would we?”
The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the door.  By this time the lady behind me was about to have a heart attack she was laughing so hard.   I just grinned at her.
After checking out and going to the parking lot I saw Dimwit leaning in a car window talking to a young woman.  Upon catching sight of me he started pointing excitedly in my direction.  Giving him another ‘deadly’ serious look, I made the ‘I see you’ gesture.  He turned kind of pale, jumped in the car and sped out of the parking lot.
What a great time!
Tomorrow I’m going back with a Homeland Security cap.
Whoever said retirement is boring just needs the right kind of cap!

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President Obama leaked that he ordered cyber-attacks on Iran a day
after he leaked his terrorist kill list. Before that he leaked we had
a double agent in al-Qaeda. We thought when we elected a president
under sixty we wouldn’t have these urology problems.

 

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Okay, so this one really, I mean REALLY chaps my ass!  Read on dear campers, read on…

This originally comes to us from our dear friend K² both LL and I tried to find information to support it and to refute it.  Not much is out there right now.  I almost hopes it turns out to be false, but nothing I’ve found so far refutes it.

A friend from Colorado sent this to me.

Hi All,

I just wanted to pass on a little info in case some of you were not aware of this. Yesterday was the Air force Academy graduation ceremony. My friend from Texas had just arrived and we drove down the road to watch the Thunderbirds fly over after the ceremony was finished. Most of you know Pres. Obama spoke at the ceremony and handed out the diploma’s. When this finished it was time for the Thunderbirds to fly-over. There was one fly-over then they disappeared. A man standing by me called a friend at Peterson Field and found out that the fly-over was halted because Obama wanted to leave. A helicopter soon appeared and flew around in a circular pattern above where we were – basically doing reconnesance as Obama’s motor-cade was exiting the Air Force Academy. He was going to Denver to do some more campaigning since Colorado is a swing state. After he left the Thunderbirds came back and continued the show for the graduates. Think about this. Obama comes to a graduation, speaks etc. then decides to leave before the Thunderbirds can complete their fly-over. They had to fly around, & waste fuel. Thousands of people – the graduating cadets, parents, friends, observers in the vicinity parked in lots waiting to see them fly, inconvenienced, so Obama – his “highness’ could leave to go campaign in Denver! How disrespectful of EVERYONE in attendance. It would have taken only about 20-30 minutes more time to stay until the fly-over was finished thereby honoring the graduates, Thunderbirds and the military in general. However, this narcissistic disgrace of a ‘Commander -in-Chief” had to inconvenience everyone and leave interrupting the ceremony fly-over because everything is about him. I was disgusted by this and so was everyone else standing around near us. I hope this info gets passed on so others can learn how disrespectful this Pres. is toward the military. Not too many who witnessed this will be voting for him.

Okay, let’s think about this … it does sound like something he would do, since he did something very similar here when he went to Kokomo.  Making thousands of people wait for hours so he doesn’t have to wait 20 minutes is beyond the pale.  This is reason enough to vote for someone who has a bit more courtesy and a lot less arrogance.

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Leprechaun Laughs #145 for Wednesday June 6th 2012

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But first, a Legal Disclaimer from our legal advisors the Esteemed Law Firm of Dewy, Cheatum & Howe

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Fair Warning Has Been Given- as to the Contents of Today’s Issue, so you Liberals & Obama Lovers QUITCHERBITCHIN!

I’m behind again after being sick 2 days last week and suffering a migraine most of Sunday. On top of all that the Bank of America Fraud Department greeted us Monday morning with the news we had taken a $1600 hit to our account. Seems as though something Molly might have done (she manages the household finances) allowed someone to make a huge unauthorized automatic payment for themselves. We still don’t have all the facts yet but should see the money back in our account in a day or so thankfully.

While is never good to have that kind of funds stolen from you the first and 15th of month are probably the worst possible times for that to happen so while I was already neck deep in  alligators  some one has thoughtfully just thrown a bucket of piranha in the pond too! So you’ll have to excuse me if I cut this short while I tend to getting everything straightened around and all the offended first of the month creditors the proof of theft from the Bank they are requiring to work with us.

Sigh! I can get ahead but I can never seem to stay ahead!

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Handicapped parking

Today I had to run to Kroger  – our local food store.

As I approached the entrance, I noticed a driver looking for a parking space.

I flagged the driver and pointed out a parking space in the handicap area.

The driver looked puzzled. ”I’m not handicapped” she said.

Well, was my face ever red. ”Oh, sorry about that, I saw your Obama sticker and just presumed…”

She gave me the finger and called me some nasty names.

Sheesh! Some people…

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A couple weeks ago now there was a lot of fuss made about Facebook’s IPO, the amount of money it made, how fantastically wealthy it has made Zuccerberg etc. But exactly how much of this hype was by devoted Facebookers themselves?

A recent poll by First Media asked the following:

If Facebook began charging a monthly fee for their users, what is the most you would be willing to pay per month in order to continue using the site?

The responses I found quite interesting!

50% I am not a Facebook user
50% Zero (I would terminate my account)
0% $1 or less
0% $2 or less
0% $5 or less
0% $10 or less
0% $20 or less
0% I would pay more than $20 if I had to

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You know it pains me to say it, (or it WILL after Molly sees this comment) but Impish just MIGHT be on to something there!

 

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HOLY FECKING CRAP AM I PISSED! Who the hell set the controls on the ‘way back machine’ for the Viet Nam War Era? Haven’t those hippies with enough brain cells remain to remember the late 60’s learned this kind of behavior is wrong and will not be tolerated yet?

Anti-War Activist Refuses To Rent Apartment To Iraq-Afghanistan Vet

CBS Boston June 4, 2012 11:59 PM http://boston.cbslocal.com/2012/06/04/report-mass-veteran-sues-anti-war-apartment-owner-alleges-discrimination/

BOSTON (CBS) – A Massachusetts veteran of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan has filed a civil rights lawsuit against an anti-war activist who declined to rent him an apartment.

Sgt. Joel Morgan, 29, tried to rent a two-bedroom apartment in the Savin Hill section of Dorchester from 63-year-old Janice Roberts.

“I’ve been deployed so many times, I really haven’t had much of a home,” he told WBZ-TV.

 Anti War Activist Refuses To Rent Apartment To Iraq Afghanistan Vet

Sgt. Joel Morgan

Morgan didn’t get the apartment.

According to the lawsuit, Roberts told Morgan his war service and her peace activism presented a “conflict of interest.”

“Because of what you told me about the Iraq war… we are very adamant about our beliefs… it’s just not comfortable for us… and I’m sure now that you know this, it would not be comfortable for you,” Roberts said in a voicemail to Morgan.

“I would suggest you do the right thing and look for a place less politically active or controversial.”

The divorced father has a young son and is training to be a Boston firefighter so he needs to live in town.

He was shocked and confused and that led him to sue.

“I’ve never been in that situation (being turned down for an apartment),  so it was like, ‘I don’t understand what you mean, I just want to give you a check and rent an apartment,” Morgan told WBZ-TV.

“(It) just really, really disgusted me,” he said.

“It really freaked me out that ‘Is this what I’m going to be facing?  Should I not let people know that I’m a combat vet?’”

WBZ was not able to reach Roberts for comment.

Military service members and veterans are part of a protected class in Massachusetts and, therefore, they cannot be discriminated against.

Morgan has since found another apartment to rent.

If any reader lives in Massachusetts and can obtain the address & phone number for Janice Roberts of Dorchester and sends it to me I will post it so that she can be dragged by the heels out of Liberal Lunacy Land kicking and screaming into the land of sanity and acceptable behavior.

This isn’t a “free speech” issue which is undoubtedly the typical liberal offal they will try to hide behind, this is a DISCRIMINATION issue, to say nothing of a disrespect issue and like a dog who does its business on your carpet she needs her face rubbed in what she did so she learns it is unacceptable THEN she needs to be severely beaten with a hard bound copy of the Real Estate rental laws for  Massachusetts for making a Veteran ashamed of being a soldier.

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NOtab;le Quotables

Doug Larson: “If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles.”

Instead we have veteran disrespecting Viet Nam Era throwback hippy wannabe liberal lemmings trying their hardest to make our Service Men & Woman ashamed of their patriotic sacrifices and doing their best to interfere with their attempts to get back to leading normal productive lives. I think I’ve got an old fishing pole around here that I can afford to let go of. Maybe we can store it reel lure and all in a certain Massachusetts liberal’s backside until she correctly figures out  what is important in life and make a public apology to Veteran Sgt. Joel Morgan and his son.

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The Middle Ages: Then vs. Now

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“Today’s Quote”

Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish & he will never starve.

Give a man a welfare check, a free cell phone with free monthly minutes, food stamps, section 8 housing, a forty ounce malt liquor, a crack pipe and some Air Jordans and he will throw the fishing gear away & vote Democrat for a lifetime.

And probably try to discriminate against and disrespecting returning soldiers too, having avoided military service because it would have voided their free ride!

Senior Moments by Golf Brooks

[Thanks to Paul who is apparently an expert in these]

 

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Only in Liberal Loony-tune Town —Top Ten

1) Only in Liberal Loony-tune Town could politicians talk about the greed of the rich at a $35,000 a plate campaign fund raising event.

2) Only in Liberal Loony-tune Town could people claim that the government still discriminates against black Americans when we have a black President, a black Attorney General, and roughly 18% of the federal workforce is
black. 12% of the population is black.

3) Only in Liberal Loony-tune Town could we have had the two people most responsible for our tax code, Timothy Geithner, the head of the Treasury Department and Charles Rangel who once ran the Ways and Means Committee, BOTH turn out to be tax cheats who are in favor of higher taxes.

4) Only in Liberal Loony-tune Town can we have terrorists kill people in the name of Allah and have the media primarily react by fretting that Muslims might be harmed by the backlash.

5) Only in Liberal Loony-tune Town would we make people who want to legally become American citizens wait for years in their home countries and pay tens of thousands of dollars for the privilege while we discuss letting anyone who sneaks into the country illegally just become American
citizens.

6) Only in Liberal Loony-tune Town could the people who believe in balancing the budget and sticking by the country’s Constitution be thought of as “extremists.”

7) Only in Liberal Loony-tune Town could you need to present a driver’s license to cash a check or buy alcohol, but not to vote.

8) Only in Liberal Loony-tune Town could people demand the government investigate whether oil companies are gouging the public because the price of gas went up when the return on equity invested in a major U.S. oil company (Marathon Oil) is less than half of a company making tennis shoes (Nike).

9) Only in Liberal Loony-tune Town could the government collect more tax dollars from the people than any nation in recorded history, still spend a trillion dollars more than it has per year for total spending of $7 million PER MINUTE, and complain that it doesn’t have nearly enough money.

10) Only in Liberal Loony-tune Town could the rich people who pay 86% of all income taxes be accused of not paying their “fair share” by people who don’t pay any income taxes at all.

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The 122-foot long space shuttle replica, “Explorer,” is set to arrive in Clear Lake after an eight-day trip across the Gulf of Mexico aboard a barge from the Kennedy Space Center.

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Houston, Home of the Johnson Space Center and Mission Control got screwed royally due to politics in the who gets a Shuttle lottery and was forced to choke down this mock up.

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Houston Gets Lame Space Shuttle Replica Delivered In Lamest Way Possible

http://jalopnik.com/5914938/houston-gets-lame-space-shuttle-replica-delivered-in-lamest-way-possible

The deliveries of the real Space Shuttles to their final resting places were grand events that created amazing images. Houston, which deserved a real damn shuttle, is getting a replica.

And just in case Houstonians didn’t know they were getting shortchanged, it was delivered on a plane but instead on a damn barge. Thanks, NASA.

I’m not going to get into all the reasons why Houston didn’t get a Space Shuttle as it might be mistaken as saying someone else doesn’t deserve one. Clearly, both D.C. and Los Angeles have good reasons to get one. NYC doesn’t, and has thus offended me as a Texan and a Houstonian and I will loudly remind them of that fact whenever I get the chance.

Instead of a real shuttle Houston is getting a replica called Explorer that will be fitted with a real-ish interior so kids can go crawling through it. It makes perfect sense to transport the replica from Kennedy in Florida to Houston via the ocean, but it still stings.

The first word on the moon may have been “Houston,” but the last word on Houston’s shuttle copy is sadly “barge.”

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HOUSTON GETS FAKE SHUTTLE

“Space City” Get’s Replica While Others Get Real Deal

By NIK RAJKOVIC http://www.ktrh.com/cc-common/mainheadlines3.html?feed=121300&article=10168059

Houston’s space community is hoping to finally put New York Sen. Chuck Schumer behind them with a three-day “shuttlebration” this weekend.

It was Schumer who said last summer, “Let me say to Houston what we say in Brooklyn, fuggedaboutit, they are not getting the shuttle.”

But Space Center Houston this weekend is getting something — the life-sized mock orbiter “Explorer” made of wood and metal.

Still, the center’s Richard Allen says they have big plans for the replica.

“We’ll put a more current cockpit in it, we’ll be building ramp ways up to it so our guests can go inside,” says Allen. “And our goal will be to talk about what Johnson Space Center’s role was with the shuttle as far the planning, the training and flying the missions.”

Former astronaut Jerry Ross still calls it a slap in the face.

“Being one of the two prime centers for the shuttle program I think its very frustrating we didn’t get a vehicle here, but we’ve got to press on and deal with what we’ve been dealt,” says Ross.

Congressman Pete Olson is trying to remain positive about it all, adding one thing you can do with a replica that you cannot with the real thing, is rename it.

“I’ve got a suggestion, its two names,” says the Clear Lake Republican. “Put ‘Columbia’ on the left and ‘Challenger’ on the right, making it a permanent tribute to the 14 neighbors and heroes we lost in space.”

 

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[TOO MUCH coffee? HELLS NO! Not ME!]

Weather is warmer, days are longer, summer is neigh upon us and nobody wants to be in the kitchen longer than they have to. Here are a couple recipes that will help with that. Of course the fact they taste pretty good too won’t hurt you none either.

Easy Taco Tamale Pie

Prep: 15 minutes
Bake: 25 minutes

Serves: 4

This cheesy, kicked-up beef and corn casserole is topped with cornbread to make a hearty dish that the whole family will enjoy!

Ingredients:

1 pound ground beef

1 can (16 ounces) whole kernel corn, undrained

1 jar (16 ounces) Pace® Picante Sauce (you pick the heat level)

1/2 cup shredded Cheddar cheese (about 2 ounces)

1 box (about 8 ounces) corn muffin mix

Directions:

Heat the oven to 375°F. Cook the beef in a 10-inch skillet over medium-high heat until it’s well browned, stirring often to separate meat. Pour off any fat.

Stir the corn with its liquid, picante sauce and cheese in the skillet. Spoon the beef mixture into a 2-quart shallow baking dish. Prepare the corn muffin mix according to the package directions. Using 2 spoons, drop the batter evenly on top of the beef mixture.

Bake for 25 minutes or until the corn muffin topping is golden brown.

I skip the canned corn and use either Ranch/Chili beans (undrained) or a can of Black beans drained and rinsed) & serve it with a salad of traditional taco toppings, shredded lettuce, diced tomato, diced red onion, diced green pepper, diced avocado & sliced black olives. Top that with a little more shredded cheese and a dollop of sour cream or plain Greek yogurt. Alternative: skip the tomato and onion and use some fresh pico de gallo

 

Grilled Pork in Pita

Prep: 10 minutes
Grill: 15 minutes

Serves: 6

Something different from the grill… the warm pita pocket bread holds succulent, picante-basted pork topped with a creamy yogurt sauce.  It’s easy to get fired-up about these tasty sandwiches!

Ingredients:

3/4 cup Pace® Picante Sauce

1/2 cup plain yogurt

1 teaspoon lime juice

1/4 teaspoon garlic powder or 1 clove garlic, minced

4 boneless pork chops, 3/4-inch thick (about 1 pound)

6 pita breads (6-inch), warmed

1 cup shredded lettuce

1 medium green onion, sliced (about 2 tablespoons)

Directions:

Stir 3 tablespoons picante sauce, yogurt and lime juice in a small bowl. Cover and refrigerate until ready to serve. Stir the remaining picante sauce and garlic powder in a small bowl.

Lightly oil the grill rack and heat the grill to medium-high. Grill the pork for 15 minutes or until it’s cooked through, turning and brushing often with the picante sauce mixture. Discard any remaining picante sauce mixture.

Slice the pork into thin strips. Divide the pork among the pita breads. Top with the yogurt mixture, lettuce and green onion. Fold the pitas around the filling.

Recipe Tips:

Helper:  To warm the pita breads, wrap them together in a plain paper towel. Microwave on HIGH for 1 minute or until they’re slightly warm to the touch.

Works well with boneless skinless chicken thighs too! For a thicker sauce use a chunky salsa. Want more zing? Substitute Cilantro leaves for the lettuce garnish.

OK I KNOW some of you are going to cry that 6 hours cooking time is not “fast”. Well prep time and final fixing time are each about 10 minutes and its a crock pot so once its in it’s basically set it and forget it which means plenty of time for other things and very little extra heat in the house from cooking! Any recipe I can spend a total of 20 minutes on and ignore for the cooking portion of things is fast in my book.

Slow-Cooked Taco Shredded Beef

From: Campbell’s Kitchen

Prep: 10 minutes
Cook: 6 hours
Stand: 10 minutes

Serves: 16

Ground beef is good in tacos, but this fork-tender shredded beef makes good tacos even better. This slow cooker dish is perfect for buffets, tail-gating or casual family dinners.

Ingredients:

1 can (10 1/2 ounces) Campbell’s® Condensed French Onion Soup

1 tablespoon chili powder

1/2 teaspoon ground cumin

1 boneless beef chuck roast (about 2 pounds)

2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh cilantro leaves

16 taco shells

1 cup shredded Cheddar cheese (about 4 ounces)

Shredded lettuce

Sour cream

Directions:

Stir the soup, chili powder and cumin in a 4-quart slow cooker. Add the beef and turn to coat.

Cover and cook on LOW for 6 to 7 hours or until the beef is fork-tender.

Remove the beef from the cooker to a cutting board and let stand for 10 minutes. Using 2 forks, shred the beef. Return the beef to the cooker. Stir the cilantro in the cooker.

Spoon about 1/4 cup beef mixture into each taco shell. Top each with about 1 tablespoon cheese. Top with the lettuce and the sour cream, if desired.

Where to start? Ok-

First, I use regular corn tortillas for this not taco shells. Same taste, less breakage, less mess, provided you warm them up.

Pita breads work well too. as do split torpedo or potato rolls (consider dipping the rolls in the juices)

Second, I almost didn’t use their name for this and called it “Slow Cooked Beef” because the           variations you can achieve at the end are nearly endless. Tossing in a couple drained cans of sliced mushrooms and some sour cream and give it a stir and 5 minutes and PRESTO beef stroganoff!

Pull the beef  toss a bag of microwave steamed stew veggies, those canned mushrooms, some worcheshire sauce in and a little flour or corn starch & water slurry turn crock on high for 10 min. Mean time cut beef into chunks after the 10 min stir pot add back beef and you got a decent beef stew!

See where I’m going? You don’t have to settle for taco here the possibilities boggle the mind! To make them even more boggling this also works relay well with and holds true of pork in place of beef though likely you’ll will need to use a fat separator on the juices before continuing.

Finally, I personally like to make Beef and Broccoli or Beef and Snow Pea pods out of this and serve or over rice or oriental noodles but I’ll let you guys figure out how I do that one yourselves!

 

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Dear friends,
There are less than 7 months until election day when the people will decide who will be the next President of the United States . The person elected will be the president of all Americans, not just the Democrats or the Republicans. It’s time that we all need to come together, Democrats and Republicans alike, in a bi-partisan effort for America :

If you will support Mitt Romney, please drive with your headlights ON during the day.

If you support Barack Obama, please drive with your headlights OFF at night.

Together, we can make it happen. Thank you!

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OBAMA’S OWN WORDS TRAP HIM:
2008: “Navy Seal Team 6 is Cheney’s private assassination team.”

2011: “I put together Seal Team 6 to take out Bin Laden.”

2008: “Bin Laden is innocent until proven guilty, and must be captured alive and given a fair trial.”

2011: “I authorized Seal Team 6 to kill Bin Laden.”

2008: ” Guantanamo is entirely unnecessary, and the detainees should not be interrogated.”

2011: “Vital intelligence was obtained from Guantanamo detainees that led to our locating Bin Laden.”

Remind the people who vote, time to throw out the trash is nearly here. Those who have had freedom and lost it will never see it again!”

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A new stadium arena is being built in Charlotte.
The new Charlotte stadium will feature a retractable roof.
A spokesperson for the project said it will be finished just in time for the Democratic National Convention
and Obama’s speech.

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Democratic National Convention Schedule

4:00 PM Opening Flag Burning Ceremony
4:05 PM Singing of “God Damn America ” led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright
4:10 PM Pledge of Allegiance to Obama
4:14 PM Reading the 6 Commandments Led By Chas Schummer
4:15 PM Ceremonial ‘I hate America ‘ led by Michelle Obama
4:30 PM Tips on Dodging Sniper Fire , Hillary Clinton
4:45 PM Al Sharpton Leads Castrati Choir in Singing “Great Balls of Fire”
4:49 PM Fund Raising J ..Edwards
5:00 PM UFO Abduction Survival , Joe Biden
5:30 PM Eliot Spitzer Speaks on “Family Values” via Satellite
5:45 PM Tribute to All 57 States “Occupyer Choir”

5:50 PM How I Invented The Interenet and Global Warming A. Gore
6:00 PM Joe Biden Delivers 100,000-Word Speech Featuring 23-Minute Question and 2-Hour Answer
8:30 PM Airing of Grievances by the Clintons
9:00 PM Bill Clinton Delivers Rousing Endorsement of Obama Girl
9:05 PM Real Estate Tips B. Frank
9:15 PM Tribute Film to Freedom Fighters at Gitmo , Michael Moore
9:45 PM Personal Finance Seminar – Charlie Rangle
10:00 PM Denunciation of THE N.R.A.. Barbara Boxer
10:15 PM Fund Raising Tips G. Clooney
10:30 PM Ceremonial Waving of White Flag for IRAQ , & Afghanistan
11:00 PM Obama Energy Plan Symposium/tire gauge Demonstration
11:15 PM Free Gov. Blagowitcz rally
11:20 PM How I Killed Bin Laden -B. Hussein Obama
11:30 PM Obama Accepts Tony and Latin Grammy Awards
11:45 PM Feeding of the Delegates with 5 Loaves and 2 Fish , Obama Presiding
12:00 AM Official Nomination of Obama by Bill Mahre
12:01 AM Obama Accepts Nomination as Lord and Savior
12:05 AM Celestial Choirs Sing
3:00 AM Biden Delivers Acceptance Speech

Note: There is one omission in the list above Memorial recognition of Obama’s surrogate son, Trayvon , will be in conjunction with the 12:05 AM event.
==================================
OPTION: Closing with a Declaration of War on the rich To be decided just before the Convention

 

SEE FULL TRANSCRIPT http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/Nospopulus

[Album notes click read more]

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How to stop election year insanity

By Lewis Beale, Special to CNN updated 8:08 AM EDT, Wed May 30, 2012

(CNN) — I was watching yet another annoying political ad produced by some super PAC of which I’ve never heard, and all I could think was: “Sheesh, it’s not even June, and I’m already sick of this stuff. With five months to go until the election, I think a steady diet of this junk will drive me into a mental institution.”

Me and about 200 million other Americans.

Let’s face it — the way we elect our presidents is seriously dysfunctional. The seemingly endless campaign season. The hectoring TV ads, the hundreds of millions of dollars poured into the system, the endless polling and pontificating. Contemplating this, all I can do is repeat the immortal words of Charlton Heston in “Planet of the Apes”: “God damn you all to hell!”

But there are ways to make the system better. If, that is, we have the will (and this is highly questionable). I’m no pundit; heck, I’m not even Joe the Plumber (think of me as Lew the Disgusted), but I’d like to offer a few suggestions on how to restore sanity to the process.

1. Make the presidency a six-year, one-term-only gig. That gives anyone elected to the job plenty of time to actually accomplish something, while also guaranteeing that the second half of his or her term won’t be spent running for re-election. What a concept.

2. Start the campaign season after Labor Day. Most industrialized countries run political campaigns that are three months in length or less. Do they know something we don’t? Or should I say, have you ever heard the term “voter exhaustion?”

3. Publicly finance the election. Citizens United, up there with Plessy v. Ferguson (separate but equal) as one of the worst decisions in Supreme Court history, only made a bad system even worse, allowing more millions to pour into an already corrupt process. So give each contender a fixed amount of money, and tell them they can spent it any way they want, but that’s all they’ll have — no private, corporate or PAC contributions at all. Let ’em whine. Who cares?

4. Ban negative ads. Believe it or not, Mexico does this. They have an independent commission deciding when a political ad goes over the line into negativity and falsehood. If they can do it South of the Border, why can’t we?

5. Limit polling. It seems there’s a new poll every microsecond. What do they really tell us? That people’s minds keep changing? Stop the presses on that one! Pass a law saying every news organization and polling organization can only do their thing, say, once a month. Eliminate the clutter.

That’ll do for a start.

But I can hear some of you saying “this is a free country, yadda yadda, people can spend their money any way they want, yaddayadda, there’s such a thing as free speech in a democracy, yadda yadda yadda.” And besides, it’s all settled law, you say; the court has ruled on Citizens United. Well, yes I know this. Things don’t change overnight.

But here’s what else I know: Sometimes liberty becomes license. And that’s what’s happening in America today.

Money has completely corrupted the system and helped create a situation where the U.S., the most powerful country on Earth, has one of the lowest voter turnouts (lower than any country in Western Europe or Latin America, lower than most countries in North America). You think disgust with the process has anything to do with this?

Think about that the next time the Rich Folks For Super PACs super PAC puts another misleading, demeaning and infuriating political ad on the tube.

How about you? What do you think we can do to improve the election process?

I think this pretty much speaks for itself and I’m going to let it. Besides I got more hoops to go jump thru to make creditors happy than Impish has double chins.

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Lethal's Business Card

Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Dragon Laffs #1275

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AdultGood Morning Campers!  And what a glorious morning it is, too!  It’s a balmy 45°F on this Saturday….wait…
… what? …
It’s only 45 friggin’ degrees outside right now?
Get me Mother Nature on the phone, right now!


Hi ya Momma N.  How you doin’?
Good, Good, Hey listen, I got a question, here.  Did you know that its only 45 degrees here?
Uh huh…
Yeah…
How  much gold?
He did?
Yeah, okay.  Thanks.
No, no, that’s fine.  Thanks.
Yeah, you too.  We still on for Sunday night Pinochle?  Good.  Talk to you later.

Well, it seems that Lethal Leprechaun put in a bid for a warm spell for him down in Texas and specifically paid extra for Mother Nature to pull the heat from around here to help heat up south Texas.    Ain’t he the greatest buddy ever!  He knows how I like it cold and he arranged special for me to be more comfortable…didn’t he?
He did it for me, right?
Okay, so while I ponder the plausible probability of Lethal Leprechaun Laboring while I Languish in comfort…why don’t you guys go ahead and get started without me?

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989
That’s a very good question Mr. Raptor….sadly, none of ush have a good answer for that.

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Sex And Good Grammar

On his 74th birthday, a man received a gift certificate from his wife.
The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby
reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile
dysfunction.   After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation,
handed his ticket to the medicine man and wondered what he was in
for.

The medicine man handed a potion to him and, with a grip on his
shoulder, warned, “This is a powerful medicine. You take only a
teaspoonful and then say 1-2-3.”  When you do, you will become
more manly than you have ever been in your life and you can perform
as long as you want.”

The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked,
“How do I stop the medicine from working?”  “Your partner must say

1-2-3-4″ he responded,  “but when she does, the medicine will not
work again until the next full moon.”

He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered,
shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine and then invited his wife to join

him in the bedroom.  When she came in, he took off his clothes and said,
1-2-3!”

Immediately, he was the manliest of men.  His wife was excited and

began throwing off her clothes and then she asked “What
was the
1-2-3 for?”

And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with

a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.

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990reallifepopups

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This seems like an awful lot of work to me

Remember, you must go to the blog site to see the videos: http://dragonlaffs.com

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This is such an excellent comparison between these two great men from the theoatmeal.com, a highly recommended website.  Here then is …

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There is much, much more to this visual.  More so than I can afford to put in here.  (Trust  me, I tried)  so, here’s the rest of it… I highly encourage you all to Check it outhttp://theoatmeal.com/comics/tesla

 

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991

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ANSWERS OF A BRILLIANT STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% I would have given him 100%
 
 
Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?
* his last battle
 
Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
* at the bottom of the  page
 
Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?
* liquid
 
Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?
* marriage
 
Q5. What is the main reason for failure?
* exams
 
Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?
* Lunch & dinner
 
Q7. What looks like half an apple?
* The other half
 
Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
* it will simply become wet
 
Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ??
* No problem, he sleeps at night.
 
Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
* You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..
 
Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ?
* Very large hands
 
Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a  wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
* No time at all, the wall is already  built.
 
Q13. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
*Concrete floors are very hard to crack.

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992

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Probably my favorite video of all time

Remember, you can’t watch this in email.  You’ve got to go to http://dragonlaffs.com

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993

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Click To Make Everything Okay

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A woman who had been married three times walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding.
“Of course, madam,” replied the sales clerk, “exactly what type and color dress are you looking for?
The bride to be said, “A long frilly white dress with a veil.”
The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said, “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but gowns of that nature are considered more appropriate for brides who are being married the first time – for those who are a bit more innocent, if you know what I mean?
Perhaps ivory or sky blue would be nice?”
“Well,” replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk’s directness, “I can assure you that a white gown would be quite appropriate.
Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as a first-time bride.
You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding, he died as we were checking into our honey moon hotel.
My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight in the limo on our way to our honeymoon hotel that we had that wedding annulled immediately and never spoke to each other again.”
“What about your third husband?” asked the sales clerk.
“That one was a Democrat,” said the woman, “and every night for four years, he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be, but nothing ever happened.”

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994

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* Democrats don’t understand THE DEBT CEILING

* Republicans don’t understand THE DEBT CEILING

* Liberals don’t understand THE DEBT CEILING

* NO ONE understands THE DEBT CEILING

SO – Allow me to explain…

Let’s say you come home from work and find there has been a sewer backup in your neighborhood.

Your home has sewage all the way up to your ceilings.

What do you think you should do?  Raise the ceilings or pump out the shit?

Your choice is coming in November.  Don’t miss the opportunity.

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Really?  I’d have never guessed.

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Sure, because all of us know two days ahead of time when we’re going to be sick.

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I wonder if the school will even notice?

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Fantastic filming.  Enjoy the new technology…
3-D Without Glasses – Awesome!

 

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A woman loses both ears in an accident. A plastic surgeon she consults tells her that ear transplants are still in the testing stage, but he will do what he can. The woman undergoes the operation, and after a time she returns to the surgeon’s office to have the bandages removed and the stitches taken out.
After examining her, the doctor tells her everything seems to have gone well, and she seems pleased with his work.
The next day, however, she calls the plastic surgeon in a rage.”You know what you did?” she screams. “You gave me a man’s ears.”
“Well,” says the surgeon, “an ear is an ear. What’s wrong? Can’t you hear?”
“I hear everything,” she says. “The problem is I don’t understand anything I’m told.”

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Thought For The Day…

  The Secret Service scandal was discovered when a disagreement on how much a prostitute wanted for her services came to light.
She wanted $800.00.
The Secret Service Agent offered $30.00.
How ironic is it that the only person in Washington willing to cut spending gets fired?

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Quote from:
“Larry, the Cable Guy”
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Even after the Super Bowl victory of the New Orleans Saints, I have noticed a large number of people, implying with bad jokes and anecdotes, that Loozianna Cajuns ain’t smart. I would like to state for the record that I disagree with that assessment. Anybody who would build a city 5 feet below sea level in a hurricane zone and fill it with Democrats who can’t swim is a dang genius”.

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Guard dog

Houston

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So, this is one of the most incredible sights I’ve ever seen.  Remember the old nursery rhyme the Owl and the Pussycat?

The Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea
    In a beautiful pea green boat,
They took some honey, and plenty of money,
    Wrapped up in a five pound note.
The Owl looked up to the stars above,
    And sang to a small guitar,
‘O lovely Pussy! O Pussy my love,
      What a beautiful Pussy you are,
          You are,
          You are!
What a beautiful Pussy you are!’

Well, here’s an Owl and a Pussy-Cat you are not going to believe!

http://www.wimp.com/catowl/

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Pun Queen
Thank you dear Diaman for these great puns.

The writer of these deserves ten years in the punitentiary.

I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
PMS jokes aren’t funny; period.
Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
Velcro — what a rip off!
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government’s fault.

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WHY?
BECAUSE!

WHY:
Why do men’s clothes have buttons on the right while women’s clothes have buttons on the left?

BECAUSE:
When buttons were invented, they were very expensive and worn primarily by the rich. Since most people are right-handed, it is easier to push buttons on the right through holes on the left. Because wealthy women were dressed by maids, dressmakers put the buttons on the maid’s right! And that’s where women’s buttons have remained since.

WHY:
Why do ships and aircraft use ‘mayday’ as their call for help?

BECAUSE:
This comes from the French word m’aidez -meaning ‘help me’ — and is pronounced, approximately, ‘mayday.’

WHY
Why are zero scores in tennis called ‘love’?

BECAUSE:
In France , where tennis became popular, the round zero on the scoreboard looked like an egg and was called ‘l’oeuf,’ which is French for ‘the egg.’ When tennis was introduced in the US , Americans (mis)pronounced it ‘love.’


WHY:
Why do X’s at the end of a letter signify kisses?

BECAUSE:
In the Middle Ages, when many people were unable to read or write, documents were often signed using an X. Kissing the X represented an oath to fulfill obligations specified in the document. The X and the kiss eventually became synonymous.

WHY:
Why is shifting responsibility to someone else called ‘passing the buck’?

A: In card games, it was once customary to pass an item, called a buck, from player to player to indicate whose turn it was to deal. If a player did not wish to assume the responsibility of dealing, he would ‘pass the buck’ to the next player.

WHY:
Why do people clink their glasses before drinking a toast?

BECAUSE:
It used to be common for someone to try to kill an enemy by offering him a poisoned drink. To prove to a guest that a drink was safe, it became customary for a guest to pour a small amount of his drink into the glass of the host. Both men would drink it simultaneously. When a guest trusted his host, he would only touch or clink the host’s glass with his own.


WHY:
Why are people in the public eye said to be ‘in the limelight’?

BECAUSE:
Invented in 1825, limelight was used in lighthouses and theaters by burning a cylinder of lime which produced a brilliant light. In the theatre, a performer ‘in the limelight’ was the center of attention.

WHY:
Why is someone who is feeling great ‘on cloud nine’?

BECAUSE
Types of clouds are numbered according to the altitudes they attain, with nine being the highest cloud. If someone is said to be on cloud nine, that person is floating well above worldly cares.

WHY:
In golf, where did the term ‘Caddie’ come from?

BECAUSE:
When Mary Queen of Scots went to France as a young girl, Louis, King of France, learned that she loved the Scots game ‘golf.’ He had the first course outside of Scotland built for her enjoyment. To make sure she was properly chaperoned (and guarded) while she played, Louis hired cadets from a military school to accompany her. Mary liked this a lot and when returned to Scotland (not a very good idea in the long run), she took the practice with her. In French, the word cadet is pronounced ‘ca-day’ and the Scots changed it into ‘caddie.’


WHY:
Why are many coin collection jar
banks shaped like pigs?

BECAUSE:
Long ago, dishes and cookware in Europe were made of a dense orange clay called ‘pygg’. When people saved coins in jars made of this clay, the jars became known as ‘pygg banks.’ When an English potter misunderstood the word, he made a container that resembled a pig. And it caught on.

 

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and to wind up today’s issue, before we go to the Last Word, here, a soldier surprises his girl friend at a baseball game.  Get the tissues!
http://www.foxsportsmidwest.com/pages/video?videoid=ab969b56-13a2-439b-94c5-943611acbcb6&src=v5:share:sharepermalink:&from=sharepermalink 

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101 now this is good home health care
Now that’s a good health care program!

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Okay, so the nanny state is now down to city level.  This just pisses me off!

The sin-tax sheriff is back on the job.

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg is proposing another ban on unhealthy foods. This time, he wants to outlaw super-sized sodas and other sugary drinks.

The first-in-the-nation ban, formally announced Thursday, would limit sweet drinks to 16 ounces at venues across the city ranging from restaurants to street carts to movie theaters — that means those extra-large cup holders at Loews are about to get awfully lonely. Since when can a politician tell a citizen what they can and cannot sell?  Is this the most important problem that New York has right now that the mayor doesn’t have anything better to do?  There are no homeless, no drug problem, no unemployment?  Come on, really!!!

The ban, though, doesn’t seem to take into account the obvious work-around. Want more than 16 ounces? Just buy two bottles. There’s no Big Apple ban on doing that — yet.

Bloomberg’s proposal hasn’t quite joined the city’s growing roster of other behavior-curbing laws like its bans on trans-fats and smoking. The Board of Health still needs to sign off on it, but according to MyFoxNY.com that’s likely to happen since the members are Bloomberg appointees.

Bloomberg said Wednesday he “thinks it’s what the public wants the mayor to do.”  I don’t think the public wants the mayor to outlaw giant drinks, I think the public wants the mayor to MIND HIS OWN DAMN BUSINESS!!!!

But residents and businesses are divided on that count.   Yeah, I’ll bet!

A spokesman for the New York City Beverage Association, Stefan Friedman, criticized the proposal as “zealous.” He said officials should seek solutions that are actually going to curb obesity.

The association said in a statement that the ban will not address obesity because “soda is not driving the obesity rates.”

Coca-Cola also released a statement arguing that the company already places calorie counts on the front of its products and that the ban is not needed.

“The people of New York City are much smarter than the New York City Health Department believes,” the statement said. “New Yorkers expect and deserve better than this. They can make their own choices about the beverages they purchase.”

One resident voiced support for the plan, telling MyFoxNY.com “sodas are really unhealthy and I don’t see any reason you need to drink 20 ounces of soda.”  and I don’t see any reason for YOU to tell ME what I can and cannot do to my own body!  I’ll bet I can still go to the liquor store and buy gallons of wine, cases of beer and fifths of hard liquor.  Ass hat!

But another noted soda addicts could just come back for refills: “A lot of people drink soda and regardless … they will be buying more, and that’s even worse.”

Conservative activists are meanwhile having a field day with the decision.

Judson Phillips, founder of Tea Party Nation, wrote on his blog Thursday that “there are a whole lot of things New Yorkers would rather King Michael be doing other than telling New Yorkers what they can or cannot drink.” Exactly!

He argued: “It is time to move the Statue of Liberty.” um…huh?

The ban, which could take effect as soon as March, would not apply to diet sodas, fruit juices, dairy-based drinks or alcoholic beverages. Nor would it include drinks sold in grocery or convenience stores. Food establishments that don’t downsize would face fines of $200. What about all the studies that show that diet drinks are even worse for us than regular sodas?  And you don’t think that a mongo-sized fruit juice is going to slam your body with frutose?  This is such a stupid, assinine law that I can’t believe that more people aren’t up in arms over it. 

Under the three-term mayor, the city has campaigned aggressively against obesity, including outlawing trans-fats in restaurant food and forcing chain restaurants to post calorie counts on menus.

The Bloomberg administration has tried other ways to make soda consumption less appealing.

The mayor supported a state tax on sodas, but the measure died in Albany, and he tried to restrict the use of food stamps to buy sodas, an idea federal regulars rejected. A sin tax on soda?  Really?  It’s not bad enough that the nannies are over taxing tobacco, alcohol and the like, they are now going after regular soda.  Please tell me that as a country, we haven’t sunk that low. 

It wasn’t bad enough that we forced McDonald’s to change the Happy Meal.  I can see advocating a healthy lifestyle and promoting healthy eating and such, but you can’t legislate free will and choice out of human beings.  God gave us free will for a reason.  Now the government, in its infinite wisdom, seems to think that they are more well informed than God.

My new bumper sticker:

God gave me free will and Mayor Bloomberg took it away.

Be well my friends. 

The Associated Press contributed to this report.

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Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Leprechaun Laughs # 144 for May 30th 2012

Leprechuan tailor Opening Banner

Well I can see by the number of sunburns,  miscellaneous athletic related injuries and the odd still lingering hangover that this bunch has NO idea what moderation or pacing one’s self is about. DAMN I AM SO PROUD!

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My remarks area wee bit shorter than normal today as is the issue. With the Holiday issue this past Saturday this makes the 3rd issue in a row for me and as Impish kindly admitted in his comments to it, I did the lions share of the work on the holiday issue besides. So basically for the last 14 days all me other personal projects have suffered. I’m about 3/4 of the next issue done already so I’m taking a brief break to pay attention to the other irons I have in the fire.

Besides most of you can barely focus on not spilling your coffee let alone handle advanced concepts in your present conditions so lets be off then shall we?

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Cause its so hard for us to get together for a cup of coffee

1. CLICK ON THE LINK (COFFEE MACHINE BELOW)
2. PUT THE COIN IN THE VENDING MACHINE
3. CHOOSE YOUR DRINK
4. CLICK ON THE CUP WHEN IT IS READY
5. CLICK ON OPEN ENJOY!

to start click

COFFEE MACHINE

 

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So do Impish, Godzilla, Stay Puff and the Michelin Tire Man they were all starting to feel threatened!

Angry Birds Addicts Anonymous

 

Toward the end of our senior year in high school, we were required to take a CPR course. The classes used the well known mannequin victim, Resusci-Annie, to practice. Typical of most models, this Resusci-Annie was only a torso, to allow for storage in a carrying case.

The class went off in groups to practice. As instructed, one of my classmates gently shook the doll and asked, “Are you all right?” He then put his ear over the mannequin’s mouth to listen for breathing. Suddenly he turned to the instructor and exclaimed, “Oh my God! She said she can’t feel her legs!”

 Lep Movie Sage words

Deep thoughts and words of wisdom!

I am sending this particular email only to my intellectual friends
…..ponder the statement below.

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Truer words…truer words….

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Love those Church Ladies..They’re Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
————————–
The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’
————————–
Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
————————–
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
————————–
Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.
————————–
Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation…
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For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM.. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday:
“I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours”.

martha Gluegun

 

WHO SAYS MEN DON’T REMEMBER ANNIVERSARIES?

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. “What’s the matter, dear?” she whispers as she steps into the room,”Why are you down here at this time of night?” The husband looks up from his coffee, “I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?” he says solemnly.

The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive. “Yes, I do” she replies.

The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily. “Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?”

“Yes, I remember,” said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues. “Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, “Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?” “I remember that too” she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says … “I would have gotten out today.”

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OMG-Terror Watch List

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Specifically, but not limited to, Obama’s entire Social Media Staff, a larger bunch of Twitter twits a tweeting I have never seen!

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Acorn voter reg

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imageGuess I should apologize to Impish for associating him with anything P.C. even if it WAS only to make a joke. Okay here goes: 

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I just did, more or less anyway, publically, to Impish. You might want to mark that down on your calendars. I promise to do better by him.

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Here’s a picture of Impish just voguin’ & chillin’ for the ladies. See? That’s better already!

 Wednesday's Wanton Wench

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Best T-shirt EVER!!

Introspection Outside the Box

Imponderable Universal Truths

1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronized with a complete stranger.
4) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
5) You’re never quite sure whether it’s against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
6) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
7) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
8) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
9) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
10) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
11) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
12) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
13) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
14) You can’t respect a man who carries a dog.
15) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
16) You’ve turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
17) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

 Special Announcement

Ok so it has come to my attention that a (used to be anyway) regular commenter and fan had a birthday with the obligatory party on Sunday last, TO WHICH NEITHER IMPISH OR MYSELF WERE INVITED!  (Can you believe that?!) We didn’t even get saved a slice of cake!

Now our weekend commitments and the logistic would have precluded our participation but the proprieties MUST be observed at all times! Such a slight demands we embarrass the offender by posting notice of this event!

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There! I think THAT about covers the slight!

Of course if anyone wants to send us a video of the Restaurant staff at Riscky’s in the Fort Worth Stockyards Train Station standing a top chairs and singing to her, we’ll be just  ecstatic to post that too!

 

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Pakistan convicts doctor who helped find bin Laden

CHRIS BRUMMITT, Associated Press, RIAZ KHAN, Associated Press Updated 12:29 p.m., Wednesday, May 23, 2012

PESHAWAR, Pakistan (AP) — A doctor who helped the CIA hunt down Osama bin Laden was convicted Wednesday of conspiring against the state and sentenced to 33 years in prison, adding new strains to an already deeply troubled relationship between the U.S. and Pakistan.

U.S. officials had urged Pakistan to release the doctor, who ran a vaccination program for the CIA to collect DNA and verify the al-Qaida leader’s presence at the compound in the town of Abbottabad where U.S. commandos killed him in May 2011 in a unilateral raid.

The lengthy sentence against Dr. Shakil Afridi will be taken as another sign of Pakistan’s defiance of American wishes. It could give further fuel to critics in the United States that Pakistan — which has yet to arrest anyone for helping shelter bin Laden — should no longer be treated as an ally.

Pakistan’s treatment of Afridi since his arrest following the bin Laden raid has in many ways symbolized the gulf between Washington and Islamabad.

In the United States and other Western nations, Afridi was viewed as a hero who had helped eliminate the world’s most-wanted man. But Pakistan army and spy chiefs were outraged by the raid, which led to international suspicion that they had been harboring the al-Qaida chief. In their eyes, Afridi was a traitor who had collaborated with a foreign spy agency in an illegal operation on its soil.

Afridi, in his 50s, was detained sometime after the raid, but the start of his trial was never publicized.

He was tried under the Frontier Crimes Regulations, or FCR — the set of laws that govern Pakistan’s semiautonomous tribal region. Human rights organizations have criticized the FCR for not providing suspects the right to legal representation, to present material evidence, or to cross-examine witnesses. Verdicts are handled by a government official in consultation with a council of elders.

Afridi was tried in the Khyber tribal region, where he was raised. In addition to the prison term, he was ordered to pay a fine of about $3,500 and is subject to an additional 3½ years in prison if he does not, according to Nasir Khan, a government official in Khyber.

Afridi can appeal the verdict within two months, said Iqbal Khan, another Khyber government official.

An official with Pakistan’s main Inter-Services Intelligence agency said the decision was in Pakistan’s “national interest,” and he dismissed earlier appeals by U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton and other American officials that Afridi should be released. The official did not give his name because the ISI doesn’t allow its operatives to be identified in the media.

Asked in Washington to comment, Pentagon press secretary George Little declined to talk about the specific case, but added: “Anyone who supported the United States in finding Osama bin Laden was not working against Pakistan. They were working against al-Qaida.”

Afridi was working for local health authorities in northwest Pakistan when he began working for the CIA. Nurses working for him reportedly knocked on the door of the compound in Abbottabad, but were not successful in obtaining a sample from the house to confirm bin Laden was living there.

Despite the tensions, most analysts believe the U.S. cannot afford to turn its back on Pakistan entirely.

Pakistan is seen as vital to negotiating a peace deal with the Afghan Taliban and their allies, given the country’s historical ties with the militants. Many in the Pakistani government realize it needs to repair relations with the U.S., partly to receive more than a billion dollars in American aid.

Talat Masood, a retired Pakistani general who is now a defense analyst, said the ISI likely preferred to see Afridi tried under the FCR because it was easier to get a prosecution than in a regular court. He said the verdict may reflect Pakistani annoyance at perceived ill-treatment at the Chicago meeting, but that improved relations could see him released.

“If things go well with the U.S., it’s very likely that he will be pardoned,” he said.

[Excerpted from: This Houston Chronicle Article ]

Yeah right! “If things go well” MY SHRAPNEL RIDDEN ARSE!  When was the LAST time things “went well” between Pakistan and the US where Pakistan actually kept any of its promises or sides on a bargain let alone conducted themselves as a people of honor?

Let’s get something straight, Pakistan’s ONLY friend is Pakistan.  The ONLY people who cannot clearly see that are the imbecilic utter morons in the State Department led by the Wicked Fairy of Liberal Fantasy Hillary (I’ll do anything to be President) Clinton They will con job anyone and everyone they can for as long as they can while repeatedly doing them dirty and stabbing them in the back for as long as they possibly can or as long as it is in their best interest to do so. Pakistani Government and Military officials KNEW where bin Laden was hiding, they could not help but know. BY denying us the intelligence on his location and helping to hide him they aided and abetted an international terrorist and mass murderer!

We need to cut all foreign aid to Pakistan, freeze all Pakistani assets in the US and levy trade sanctions and embargos against them the will force them back into the stone age that they so desperately cling to in their religion.

Then, just to be hissy about it I say we support India’s claim in the U.N. over Pakistan’s to the Kashmir region. NOT that I’m a fan of India either but that shows you how much Pakistan has my ass out of line)

As for Afridi I’d suggest that Pakistan be served an ultimatum, (preferably written on the pages of a Koran in pigs blood and delivered by a dog) hand Afridi over to us, unharmed and in good condition, along with his family, or our much hated unmanned drones are going to take out that military compound down the road from bin Laden’s hide out that was so blind to him being less than 5 miles down the road as well as EVERY suspected military official that was involved in hiding him and then start on the government officials that are suspected of helping in the deception as well! While we’re at it i say arm a few Predators with Pigs Blood bombs and shower a few mosque sites from the air!

Barring that another SEAL TEAM raid should be undertaken to liberate him and bring him to safety.  If the SEALS decline I’m sure there is a FORCE RECON Team who will go get him. No man should be punished for doing the just and moral thing.

Lastly I’m ashamed that the Clowns In Absurdity (the CIA) has not already done something to get this guy out of there and are waiting for someone else ONCE AGAIN to clean up their operational cock up.

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Posted in Uncategorized | 9 Comments

The Lepre-Dragon-chaun DL & LL Combined Forces Memorial Day Issue 2012

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Lethal here-

We are posting our Memorial Day issue today so as to be able to enjoy the holiday with our friends and families and have the time to render appropriate honors and thanks to the fallen.

Ok settle down! Lets try to conduct this with the dignity and solemnity the occasion warrants shall we? There will be time enough for the picnicking, Frisbee throwing, sunburn getting and Indy Race watching later.

Impish and I decided to split the duty for this issue then I pulled rank on him after he agreed. I took the opening, he got the Last Word and we both threw a few things into the  the rest of the blog.

Today’s issue will be marked by a lack of several things, humor, bawdy jokes/graphics, witty sarcastic comments by me, jokes at the expense of either of us, political commentary, regarding the upcoming election, blunt honest discussion of the many pressing issues of the day – you know the usual stuff you look forward to and have come to expect from us.

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This is not a normal issue, this is one of two issues a year where we honor our Service Men & Women. On Memorial Day we honor the Fallen, those who paid the highest price the high cost of our Freedoms can demand. Come November we will do this again on Veterans Day to honor those who served and by the Grace of the Devine managed to survive. Unlike Veterans Day, the reason behind this holiday is oft overshadowed and lost in the myriad of festivities and events of a three day weekend which is seen traditionally as the first weekend of summer. Impish and I see it as our duty to remind you of the TRUE reason for the holiday and to aid in some small way in remembering our Fallen Military Heroes.

America Remembers

Take some time this weekend and reflect on your freedoms and how many men gave up freely all of their tomorrows, so that you could have your today and enjoy the freedoms that you have… Find a veteran and thank them for their sacrifice, and then thank them for the sacrifice of their friends who never came home or are still missing in action…

God of our fathers, known of old—
Lord of our far-flung battle line—
Beneath whose awful hand we hold
Dominion over palm and pine—
Lord God of Hosts, be with us yet,
Lest we forget—lest we forget!

Recessional, First Verse by Rudyard Kipling

And give thanks to live in the greatest country on Earth, regardless of our feelings about its problems or those in power currently, our nearly 236 year experiment in Democracy while oft imitated has never yet been equaled or surpassed. Just remember we are here to make that boast because of those we remember and honor this day.

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Here is the most brilliant statement ever made without a word being said!!!!!

This guy was told by his Homeowners Association that he could not fly the American Flag in his yard……

This is his response:

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Is this not one of the biggest “Up YOURS!!!”, you’ve ever seen?

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Today seemed an fitting day to honor several new inductees into the rolls of The Knights Most Impish of the Leprechaun’s Legion of Loyal Troop Supporters for their selfless service in support of our troops.

We require that Sharon Hyland, Maria Hyland, Wayne Lutz, Michele & Tim Rooney &  present themselves before us.

Sharon Hyland started out alone, standing with a flag at Philadelphia International Airport.

She watched for service members returning home to their families. When she saw one, she offered her thanks.

Seeing shock, gratitude and humility in their eyes, Hyland said, she was hooked. “You get addicted to that feeling,” she said, “and want to do it again and again.”

Hyland is the founder of A Hero’s Welcome, which mobilizes volunteers to welcome home returning soldiers, Marines, sailors, airmen and Coast Guardsmen, and now has chapters around the country. She was inspired after she realized that the Vietnam veterans in Pottstown, Pa.’s annual Fourth of July parade seemed to carry themselves differently than other vets.

“I thought, ‘Shame on us that we ever let our heroes come home from a war without our thanks.’”

Hyland, then 25, began A Hero’s Welcome in 2007. Less than a year later, Vietnam era veteran Wayne Lutz founded the Warriors’ Watch Riders, a “motorcycle-centric group” of veterans and nonveterans who escort returning service members to celebrations.

Today, the Pennsylvania groups both have chapters around the country and often work together. A Hero’s Welcome is the lightning, Hyland said, and the Warriors’ Watch Riders “bring the thunder with their motorcycles.”

“The only thing that draws attention more than a motorcycle,” Lutz said, “is a lot of motorcycles.”

Lutz said the men and women he’s welcomed are “always the same. They’re always extremely humble, [saying] ‘I don’t deserve this.’“ But he tells them, “You do deserve this by the very fact of raising your hand.”

‘It’s amazing.’ When Hyland created A Hero’s Welcome, the U.S. was involved in an unpopular war. She did not want the group to veer into politics. “I wanted people who were out to support the troops, and that was it.”

In September 2007, she organized the first of what would become more than a thousand large-scale welcome home celebrations.

Two young Marines were cheered by hundreds as they stood at the Pottsgrove High School football field in Pottstown, Pa. for the coin toss at a Friday night game.

Aaron Martin, a 2001 graduate of Pottsgrove High School, and Patrick Smith, a 2005 graduate of nearby Boyertown Area High School, had both recently returned from Iraq.

“I thought it was just going to be a bunch of friends at my house. Then I came here, and people are coming out of the woodwork,” said Martin, who had been picked up at the airport hours before the kickoff. “It’s amazing,” he said that night. “I’m enjoying every bit of it.”

Quieter homecomings. The welcome was colder for those who returned from Vietnam. Service members were discouraged from wearing their uniforms in public, Lutz remembers.

“The hatred that that generation had for the war, they transferred that directly to the soldier and blamed him for that,” Lutz said. “No matter what, those troops were giving their lives for a country that didn’t give a damn about them. … It’s a horrible thing for any young kid — and you’re talking young, 18-, 19-year-old kids — to go through that kind of scorn and derision.”

That’s the memory he keeps in mind during every welcome home he joins.

Lutz, of Glenside, Pa., joined the Army in 1972 at age 18 and served for about 10 years, the first six in Germany. He had intended to go to Vietnam, but by the time he finished his training, the war was over.

He said one of his most profound welcoming experiences occurred as he waited for an arriving soldier at Philadelphia International Airport. The Warriors’ Watch Riders and members of A Hero’s Welcome were “lined up on the escalator,” holding a gauntlet of flags.

Lutz spotted a uniformed officer in the next baggage area and went to talk with him. The staff sergeant was escorting the parents of a fallen soldier from Tennessee to Dover, Del., to pick up the body of their son.

“Here we are, greeting a live soldier coming home,” Lutz said, “and on the other side was a soldier coming home in a very different way.”

At the request of families, Hero’s Welcome and the Warriors’ Watch Riders have rallied at the funerals of veterans and those killed in action.

Some soldiers, Lutz said, are unable to handle an exuberant welcome.

“You sit in the arrival area of these airports and you see these soldiers, these children in uniform, they may literally have the dust of Afghanistan on their boots,” Lutz said.

“They’ve come from this sun-bleached, hot environment, where most everyone they meet may want to kill them. The transition home is jarring, and it can be hard for some of them to take.”

‘Sign us up.’ Michele Rooney worried throughout her son’s first deployment in 2008. When he came home, she got just 48 hours of notice that he was flying in from Iraq.

Rooney, of Gilbertsville, Pa., had Hyland’s card on her refrigerator and called her. The women had met by chance months earlier, while helping with a candidate phone bank.

And when Marine Gary Anoushian arrived, he was met by several motorcycles and a large group of supporters from the Warriors’ Watch Riders and A Hero’s Welcome, who had driven through a December snowstorm to honor him.

“To see those people at the airport that were so willing to give of their time and be there to welcome home my son, I immediately felt like, ‘sign us up,’” Rooney said.

Her husband, Tim, owned a motorcycle but had put it up for sale, influenced by her concern for his safety. But seeing the Warriors’ Watch Riders, she decided, “OK, Tim can keep the bike.”

If he helped with the welcome home efforts, “maybe God would protect him because he was riding for such an important cause,” she thought.

The Rooneys began volunteering, and Tim Rooney has since become a ride captain, leading the way for Warriors’ Watch Riders who escort returning service members to celebrations.

On Father’s Day in June 2011, he led dozens of motorcycles that welcomed home his stepson, Anoushian, who was returning after seven months in Afghanistan, his third deployment. Cpl. Anoushian is now serving at Camp Pendleton in California.

Seeing people gather to greet your hero feels amazing, Rooney said, paralleled only by being part of a welcome for someone else’s child.

Her son’s second deployment overseas, for eight months in Afghanistan, was during one of the most deadly periods for U.S. service members. She again feared for his safety, but helping others made a difference.

“We had avenues to focus our energy,” she said. “We felt like we were making use of our time and doing something for our troops.”

Inspired to serve. Hyland, the daughter, sister, granddaughter and niece of Marines, had gone through officer candidate school in 1999 and 2000. But she was injured and sent home before graduation.

Inspired by those she met in the early months of A Hero’s Welcome, she thought, “OK, I’m still young enough and able-bodied enough to serve.”

She re-joined the Marines.

Her mother, Maria Hyland, decided the mission of A Hero’s Welcome was too important to be left undone. She took the baton and ran.

A mother of four, she juggles the requests for celebrations and for help opening new chapters with working full-time in the family business, Hyland Technologies, in Frederick, Pa. She coordinates with Warriors’ Watch Riders for homecomings throughout southeastern Pennsylvania and New Jersey.

“The thing that keeps me going is when you see the hero uniting with their family,” said Hyland, who sometimes goes to such reunions five or more times a week, jetting from city to city or even from state to state.

Now a first lieutenant, Sharon Hyland-Keyser is married to an Army staff sergeant and serves as director of public affairs at Marine Corps Air Station Beaufort in Beaufort, S.C. She’s delighted by how A Hero’s Welcome has grown since she stood alone five years ago.

Because the service of America’s military is never-ending, so too is the work of A Hero’s Welcome and the Warriors’ Watch Riders, Maria Hyland said.

“A lot of people think the war is over; it’s not over,” she said in her Gilbertsville, Pa., home. “We’re here to support the troops, so as long as there’s military, we’re here to support them.”

The Riders have grown to include more than 5,000 members, from New Jersey to Florida to California. Lutz said he disagrees with service members who say they don’t deserve celebrations  — and urges them to take his place someday.

“I always tell them, when I’m dead and they’re old and gray, to pay it forward. You and I know that 40 years from now, there will be another war” — and more men and women laying their lives on the line who will need to be welcomed home.

A Hero’s Welcome: No one should come home without our thanks

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 In recognition of thy selfless service to the support of our troops we hereby bestow upon Sharon Hyland, Maria Hyland, Wayne Lutz the title of Knight Most Impish of the Leprechaun’s Legion of Loyal Troop Supporters   Arise Dames Sharon & Maria, arise Sir Wayne go ye forth and be thou all good and chivalrous knights, stalwart and steadfast in thy support of our troops and their families. Continue thy good and noble works that none may return from battle in foreign lands and think themselves unappreciated for their noble sacrifice.

Michele & Tim Rooney for they lesser more in keeping with support than vanguard rolls, we doth name you both Noble Squires to the  Knight Most Impish of the Leprechaun’s Legion of Loyal Troop Supporters continue in your fine works that one day we might raise you to the ranks of Dame and Knight.

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We require that Chuck “Pappy” Barshney present himself before us.

The Patriot Guard Riders (PGR) is a motorcycle club whose members attend the funerals of US armed forces members, firefighters, and police at the invitation of the deceased’s family. Patriot Guard Riders’ representatives state that they are not a chartered motorcycle club, but a group of with an “unwavering respect for those who risk their lives for America’s freedom and security”

The group was established in Mulvane, Kansas at American Legion Post 136 in 2005 by Chuck “Pappy” Barshney, to shelter and protect the deceased’s family from protesters such as the Westboro Baptist Church, who claim that the deaths of American troops in Iraq and Afghanistan are divine retribution for American tolerance of homosexuality. PGR members position themselves to physically shield the mourners from the presence of the Westboro protesters by blocking the protesters from view with their motorcade, or by having members hold American flags. The group also drowns out the protesters’ chants by singing patriotic songs or by revving motorcycle engines.

Although initially founded by motorcyclists, the organization is open to anyone, regardless of political affiliation, veteran status, or whether they ride or not. The only prerequisite is “a deep respect for those who serve our country; military, firefighters, or law enforcement”.

In recognition of thy selfless service to the support of our troops , the defense of their dignity when they cannot defend it themselves and for the protection of their loved ones from a most foul and craven enemy in their hour of sorrow we hereby bestow upon the title of Knight Most Impish of the Leprechaun’s Legion of Loyal Troop Supporters upon Chuck “Pappy” Barshney.

Pray thou remain kneeling Sir Chuck as we have one more honor for thee. In recognition of your mobilization of Protect and Defense for the Families of Fallen Soldier and insuring their burial with honor as well as thy tireless Battle to thwart the minions of evil called the Westboro Baptist Church we name thee Our Captain-General of the Knights Most Impish in the Defense of the Fallen & Their Families. Arise now our Captain General Sir Chuck go forth and be be thou ever vigilant, a good and chivalrous knight, stalwart and steadfast in thy defense of our troops and their families.. May thy shield barrier of Flags and your might roar of thy Iron Stead never falter in defense of our fallen heroes.

Finally it pleases use to make two further appointments, Will the Board of Directors/Officers for the groups known as ‘A Hero’s Welcome’ & ‘ The Patriot Guard Riders’ approach the dais and receive recognition on behalf of their respective groups?

Both groups are hereby awarded entrance to the rolls of the Hospitaliters Draconis of the Leprechaun’s Legion of Loyal Troop Supporters.

We on behalf of the returning troops- living, wounded and departed, as well as their families, do thank your for your innumerous selfless acts of devotion to them. Go thou forth now, to continue in thy good works in support of our returning wounded hero troops and their families that they may never have cause to doubt our support or gratitude for their service.

 

 

The True Meaning of Memorial Day

R.I.P. Colonel Van T. Barfoot USAR

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Van T. Barfoot died at the age of 92 on 2 March 2012.

Remember the guy who wouldn’t take the flag down?

You might remember a news story several months ago about a crotchety old man who defied his homeowners association and refused to take down the flagpole on his property and the large flag that flew on it. Now you can find out who, exactly, that old man was.
On June 15, 1919, Van T. Barfoot was born in Edinburg — probably didn’t make much news back then. Twenty-five years later, on May 23, 1944, near Carano , Italy , Van T. Barfoot, who had enlisted in the US Army in 1940, set out to flank German machine gun positions from which fire was coming down on his fellow soldiers. He advanced through a minefield, took out three enemy machine gun positions and returned with 17 prisoners of war.

image If that wasn’t enough for a day’s work, he later took on and destroyed three German tanks sent to retake the machine gun positions.


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That probably didn’t make much news either, given the scope of the war, but it did earn Van T. Barfoot, who retired as a colonel after also serving in Korea and Vietnam , a Congressional Medal of Honor.

image What did make news was a neighborhood association’s quibble with how the 90-year-old veteran chose to fly the American flag outside his suburban Virginia home. Seems the rules said a flag could be flown on a house-mounted bracket, but, for decorum, items such as Barfoot’s 21-foot flagpole were unsuitable.


image He had been denied a permit for the pole, erected it anyway and was facing court action if he didn’t take it down. Since the story made national TV, the neighborhood association has rethought its position and agreed to indulge this old hero who dwells among them.

 
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“In the time I have left I plan to continue to fly the American flag without interference,” Barfoot told The Associated Press. As well he should. And if any of his neighbors still takes a notion to contest him, they might want to read his Medal of Honor citation. It indicates he’s not real good at backing down.

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Curmudgeonly Chef

No this isn’t at odds with the tone we have set, this is a break, a half time show an intermission. With out one this would soon become mind and emotion numbing. Besides realistically for most of you this is more about the partying than the Fallen Heroes and we recognize that.

Besides honoring/remembering or picnicking/partying ya still gotta eat right? Might as well be tasty.

Since this is posting on Saturday and Memorial Day isn’t until Monday with Sunday being the top picnic day of the weekend (Saturday having been sent dragging all the summer stuff [most importantly that grill!] out of storage & Monday being for Parades & resting up) You should have plenty of time to whip up a batch of these beans!

Bandito Baked Beans

 Bandito Baked Beans

From: Campbell’s Kitchen

Prep: 5 minutes
Cook: 15 minutes

Serves: 6

Here’s a great side dish for your next barbecue, open house or buffet…and it’s ready to go in just 20 minutes.  Picante sauce is the ingredient that makes these baked beans especially good….give them a try.

Ingredients:

1 tablespoon vegetable oil

1 medium onion, chopped (about 1/2 cup)

1 cup Pace® Picante Sauce

1/4 cup molasses

1 tablespoon spicy-brown mustard

1 can (about 15 ounces) pork and beans

1 can (about 15 ounces) black beans, rinsed and drained

Directions:

Heat the oil in a 2-quart saucepan over medium heat. Add the onion and cook until it’s tender.

Stir the picante sauce, molasses, mustard, pork and beans and black beans in the saucepan and heat to a boil. Reduce the heat to low. Cook for 5 minutes or until the mixture is hot and bubbling.

It’s Memorial Day. Tradition demands we serve certain mandatory foods including hotdogs and hamburgers. This next recipe takes the oh-hum burger to new heights, and uses the remainder of the picante sauce from the beans up for you if you’re not a picante sauce fan.

Spicy Onion Burgers

Spicy Onion Burgers

From: Campbell’s Kitchen

Prep: 10 minutes
Grill: 10 minutes

Serves: 6

Ordinary hamburgers get kicked up with the simple addition of dry onion soup mix and prepared salsa.  Try them…they’re easy to make and really delicious.

Ingredients:

1 1/2 pounds ground beef

1/2 cup Pace® Picante Sauce

1 envelope (about 1 ounce) dry onion soup and recipe mix [I use the Beefy Onion variety]

6 Pepperidge Farm® Farmhouse™ Premium White Rolls with Sesame Seeds

Lettuce leaves

tomato slices

Avocado slices [Not a fan of avocado? Too pricey where you live? I use those sandwich pickle slices instead]

Directions:

Mix thoroughly the beef, picante sauce and soup mix. Shape firmly into 6 burgers, 1/2-inch thick each.

Lightly oil the grill rack and heat the grill to medium. Grill the burgers for 10 minutes or until desired doneness, turning the burgers over halfway through grilling.

Serve on rolls with lettuce, tomato, avocado and additional picante sauce.

Nutrition Information

Nutritional Values per Serving

Using Pace Picante Sauce: : Calories 339, Total Fat 15g, Saturated Fat 5g, Cholesterol 69mg, Sodium 742mg, Total Carbohydrate 27g, Dietary Fiber 2g, Protein 25g, Vitamin A 1%DV, Vitamin C 0%DV, Calcium 5%DV, Iron 17%DV

Finally tortilla chips, Cheetos and Potato chips are good (Doritos are the best), but the best accompaniment for a burger in my book is fries hands down. Here’s some that you can do up a head of time and grill when ready with no clean up!

Cheddary Pouch Potatoes

Cheddary Pouch Potatoes

From: Campbell’s Kitchen

Pep: 5 minutes
Grill: 25 minutes

Serves: 4

Fire-up the grill to make these scrumptious cheese fries that cook in foil packets on the grill. They’re a favorite side for grilled steak or chicken.

Ingredients:

1 can (10 3/4 ounces) Campbell’s® Condensed Cheddar Cheese Soup

1/4 cup milk

1/2 teaspoon garlic powder

1/4 teaspoon onion powder

4 cups frozen steak fries

Paprika  [Use Taco, Chili seasoning, or Cayenne pepper for a bigger kick]

Directions:

Stir the soup, milk, garlic and onion in a large bowl. Stir in the potatoes.

SPRAY THE FOIL WITH ONE OF THOSE COOKING SPRAYS FOR HIGH TEMPERATURES OR FOR GRILLING!    Trust me I learned this the hard way when all mine were stuck to the foil! Alternative is to wipe the foil with a canola or peanut oiled paper towel.

Place the potato mixture on 4 (14-inch) squares of heavy-duty aluminum foil. Sprinkle with paprika. Fold the foil to make packets.

Heat the grill to medium. Grill the packets for 25 minutes or until the potatoes are tender.

Recipe Tips:

Tip: To bake in the oven: Place the packets on a baking sheet and bake at 350°F. for 25 minutes.

Nutrition Information

Nutritional Values per Serving

Using Campbell’s Cheddar Cheese Soup: : Calories 200, Total Fat 7g, Saturated Fat 3g, Cholesterol 4mg, Sodium 442mg, Total Carbohydrate 30g, Dietary Fiber 4g, Protein 4g, Vitamin A 7%DV, Vitamin C 12%DV, Calcium 4%DV, Iron 0%DV

Dessert? That’s on you guys! However I recommend a walk though your local Veteran’s Cemetery or a visit to your local veterans memorial to walk off some of that lunch before dessert!

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Armed Forces Medley: 2011 National Memorial Day Concert

 

The American Battle Monuments Commission strives to remember those who gave all overseas and never made it home.

Its website tells all about the cemeteries honoring our fighting men and women overseas, in places such as the Ardennes, Belgium, and Manila, Philippines. Those who were never recovered are commemorated on the Tablets of the Missing.

You can order an arrangement of flowers to be placed at one of those sites to honor a friend or loved one. You can also purchase a lithograph of the cemetery or memorial featuring your loved one through the Andrews Project.

It’s a great way to thank those brave members of the military for their service.

www.abmc.gov

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Memorial Day – Arlington

 

 

Washington’s Seldom Seen Memorials

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Special Tributes To Honor and Bravery

Working with the Smithsonian’s Office of Imaging, Printing and Photographic Services and the National Museum of American History’s Division of Armed Forces History, a team of volunteer Smithsonian Associates led by Smithsonian Photographer Jeff Tinsley assisted the Institution in the photographic documentation of Washington’s Military Memorials.

Over a Memorial Day weekend the team photographed monuments and statues large and small. Many were the well-known symbols of the Nation’s Capitol. But there were also others, usually smaller, lesser known and seldom seen in official guide books. A selection of these special memorials is presented here.

“The Hiker”, a memorial to those who served in the Spanish-American War. This statue depicts an American Soldier of the time, and was erected by veterans of the war. Smithsonian Photo by William McGehee.

The Seabees Memorial at Arlington Cemetery. Seabees is the nickname for the U.S. Navy Construction Battalions (CB’s). Formed during World War II, they were trained in both construction and combat, and built living quarters and naval facilities in the Pacific. Smithsonian Photo by William McGehee.

Military Nurses Statue in Arlington Cemetery dedicated in 1971, “to commemorate devoted service to country and humanity by Army, Navy and Air Force Nurses”. The small American Flag by the statue was placed there in honor of Memorial Day. Smithsonian Photo by Lindsay Downs.

The Battleship Maine Memorial in Arlington National Cemetery. The Maine was sunk in the harbor at Havana, Cuba, in February, 1898 and helped precipitate the start of the Spanish-American War. This monument of the ship’s mast is near the Amphitheater and Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. Smithsonian Photo by Lindsay Downs.

The memorial to the Second Division. Located on Constitution Avenue just off the Ellipse in Washington, this flaming gold sword is passed by thousands of tourists each year. In this photo Memorial Day wreaths honoring those who served have been placed in front of the sculpture. Smithsonian Photo by Dr. Bella J. May.

The Space Shuttle Challenger memorial in Arlington National Cemetery. Dedicated to the crew of The Challenger was destroyed in a fireball shortly after launch in January 1986. This memorial, near the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, depicts the faces of all seven crew. Smithsonian Photo by Dr. Bella J. May.

NOTE: The Photograph at the top of this is of the Custis-Lee House in Arlington Cemetery as seen at dawn from across Memorial Bridge in Washington. This is the main entrance to Arlington Cemetery. Established in 1864, this 200-acre site contains the remains of those who died serving the United States. Smithsonian Photo by Sallie Sprague.

“It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God that such men lived.” General George S. Patton Jr.

If You’re Reading This

 

[Each one of those triangles with 3 stars represents a folded burial flag of a fallen soldier]

Memorial Day Scams Target Military, Families, Supporters

Now pardon my ‘sarcastic & bitter’ attitude and the salty language about this, but shit like this just plain takes a fecking FLAMETHROWER to my relatively short burning fuse!

Memorial Day is a time to honor those who serve and remember those who have died in war. But sadly, it has also become a key opportunity for scammers to target those who are serving or have served their nation, especially elderly veterans. BBB is urging consumers and donors to be on the lookout for deals that seem too good to be true, and for disreputable charities.

“The unique lifestyle of our service members makes them prime targets for scammers,” notes Brenda Linnington, Director of BBB Military Line. “It’s imperative that we educate our service members and ensure that the support we give to them equals the effort they make every day on behalf of us.” Linnington said scams can include those that target service personnel and their families directly, but also those that appear to be helping military members via charities.

“Donors need to watch out for questionable charities that raise funds on behalf of military organizations,” adds Art Taylor, President and CEO of the BBB Wise Giving Alliance. “When you make a donation, always check http://www.give.org to see that the group meets BBB charity standards, especially around Memorial Day. Too many solicitors that fail to meet BBB standards call and say they help veterans, service members or their families, and little of the money donated will serve that purpose.”

Among the scams to watch out for:

· Posing as the Veterans Administration and contacting veterans to say they need to update their credit card, bank or other financial records with the VA;

· Charging service members for services they could get for free or less expensively elsewhere, such as military records;

· Fraudulent investment schemes that convince veterans to transfer their assets into an irrevocable trust;

· Offering “instant approval” military loans (“no credit check,” “all ranks approved”) that can have high interest rates and hidden fees;

· Advertising housing online with military discounts and incentives, and then bilking service personnel out of the security deposit;

· Trying to sell things like security systems to spouses of deployed military personnel by saying the service member ordered it to protect his or her family;

· Selling stolen vehicles at low prices by claiming to be soldiers who need to sell fast because they’ve been deployed;

· Posing as government contractors recruiting veterans and then asking for a copy of the job applicants’ passport (which contains a lot of personal information);

· Posing on online dating services as a lonely service member in a remote part of Iraq or Afghanistan, and then asking for money to be wired to a third party for some emergency.

BBB advises service members, veterans and all consumers never to give personal identification information (Social Security, bank account, military identification or credit card numbers, etc.) to anyone who contacts you by phone or e-mail, and to be wary of any solicitations that involve purchasing something or transferring money. Consumers can check out businesses and charities for free at www.bbb.org.

For more information, visit www.bbb.org/us/military-line.

See what I mean? We made war on the Veterans Administration last year over getting all Commie Liberal PC at Veterans Cemeteries interfering with and/or prohibiting religious observances during burials and we won. This year we need to take these scamming parasitic leeches on and do such a job on them that they would serious consider conning a drug cartel or the mob before ever trying us again!

IF you get one of these called note the number and as much info as you can. Then report it to every law enforcement agency who will give you 5 minutes of ear time. Report them to the BBB. Call your Attorney General’s office your local radio stations, television stations and newspapers and tell them. If one of them isn’t interested make sure to mention how you’ll include their indifference to the plight of Veterans when you tell your other local medias about the story. Lastly write to us and tell us we’ll see it gets posted her and passed to several other bloggers we know.

Lets drag these cockroaches into the bright light, stomp them and do the twist on their dead bodies!

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Rolling Thunder in HD – Memorial Day Parade, Marines Vigil in Washington D.C.

 

John Philip Sousa’s March, “The Stars and Stripes Forever”

 

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Keep Me in Your Heart, Warren Zevon

That’s all any of them ever asked, to be remembered

 

Dining in

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Dining in is a formal military ceremony for members of a company or other unit, which includes a dinner, drinking, and other events to foster camaraderie and esprit de corps.

The United States Army, the United States Navy the United States Coast Guard and the United States Air Force refer to this event as a dining in or dining-in. The United States Marine Corps refers to it as mess night. Other names include regimental dinner, guest night, formal mess dinner, and band night.

The dining in is a formal event for all unit members, male and female; though some specialized mess nights can be officer- or enlisted-only. The unit chaplain is usually also invited, if an invocation is needed. A unit’s dining-in consists of only the members of the unit, with the possible exception of the guest(s) of honor. An optional formal dinner, known as the dining-out may include spouses and other guests. The dining-out follows the same basic rules of the dining-in, but is often tailored to minimize some of the military traditions and be more interesting to civilian guests.

“Except for the annual celebration of the Marine Corps Birthday, no social function associated with the smaller of America’s naval services is more enjoyed, admired and imitated than the mess night.”

Formal toasts

Formal toasts are the heart of the formal dining in. A junior officer, known as “Mr Vice”, proposes a toast to the guests, at which the guests remain seated. After this, various parties will offer toasts to the Commander in Chief, to the heads of state of a visiting or host nations, to their branch of service, to the units, and to the fallen members of the military.

The final and most solemn toast is always to fallen comrades. Often this tribute is marked with a display, including an empty table with a white tablecloth, inverted glass, lit candle, blank dog tags, and a symbol representing tears (salt or lemon)

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The Table and Place Setting:

  • A small table,
  • White tablecloth,
  • Single place setting, preferably all white,
  • Wine glass, inverted,
  • Salt shaker,
  • Slice of lemon on bread plate with a pile of spilled salt,
  • Small bud vase with a single stem red rose,
  • RED ribbon tied around the vase,
  • Candle – lit, 
  • Empty chair.
  • Bible or other appropriate Book of Faith
  • Blank dog tags

“You may have noticed the small table set for one that is off on its own – it is reserved to honor our fallen comrades in arms. This symbolizes that they are with us, here in spirit. We should never forget the brave men and women who answered our nation’s call [to serve] and served the cause of freedom in a special way. We are ever mindful that the sweetness of enduring peace has always been tainted by the bitterness of personal sacrifice. We are compelled to never forget that while we enjoy our daily pleasures, there are others who have endured the agonies of pain, deprivation and death.

I would like to explain the meaning of the items on this special table.

  • The table is round – to show our everlasting concern for our fallen comrades.
  • The tablecloth is white – symbolizing the purity of their motives when answering the call to duty.
  • The single red rose, displayed in a vase, reminds us of the life of each of our fallen comrades, and the loved ones and friends of these comrades who keep the faith.
  • The vase is tied with a red ribbon, symbol of our continued determination to remember our fallen comrades.
  • A slice of lemon on the bread plate is to remind us of the bitter fate of those who will never return.
  • A pinch of salt symbolizes the tears endured by the families of those who have sacrificed all.
  • The Holy Book represents the strength gained through faith to sustain those lost from our country.
  • The glass is inverted, they cannot toast with us at this time.
  • The chair is empty because they are no longer with us.

Toast to Fallen Comrades:

“Let us give thanks for the many blessings we have received. Let us give thanks for the security of our Country and for the freedoms we enjoy and experience every day. However, let us also remember the great price that has been paid for that freedom too many times.

We knew them. They lived, they felt, they were as vibrant, as energetic, as immortal as you and I. They were brave. They fell for peace and for freedom in the service of their country. Many may argue about the futility of death and of war, but one should never forget that they died, not in vain, but in honor.

Many times down through the years our country has called, and many men and women have answered the call. Let us not forget our fallen comrades, but remember them always, for they have earned our respect and admiration with their lives.

We knew them, we’ll remember them, and they will not be forgotten.

Let us remember – and never forget their sacrifice.

May they and their families ever be watched over and protected.

To our fallen comrades!”

This toast we never drink.

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Time to see Memorial Day from an entirely different perspective now.

Who ever titled this and made the comment ‘these Marines were being awesome’ is dead wrong. They were just being Marines. Showing their respect for and paying their tribute to a fallen brother.

 

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Impish will now favor us with a few final thoughts on the subject of the true Memorial Day.

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image_thumbMemorial Day, originally called Decoration Day, is a day of remembrance for those who have died in our nation’s service. There are many stories as to its actual beginnings, with over two dozen cities and towns laying claim to being the birthplace of Memorial Day. There is also evidence that organized women’s groups in the South were decorating graves before the end of the Civil War: a hymn published in 1867, “Kneel Where Our Loves are Sleeping” by Nella L. Sweet carried the dedication “To The Ladies of the South who are Decorating the Graves of the Confederate Dead” (Source: Duke University’s Historic American Sheet Music, 1850-1920). (Hence the Decoration Day moniker.) While Waterloo N.Y. was officially declared the birthplace of Memorial Day by President Lyndon Johnson in May 1966, it’s difficult to prove conclusively the origins of the day. It is more likely that it had many separate beginnings; each of those towns and every planned or spontaneous gathering of people to honor the war dead in the 1860’s tapped into the general human need to honor our dead, each contributed honorably to image_thumb5the growing movement that culminated in Gen Logan giving his official proclamation in 1868. It is not important who was the very first, what is important is that Memorial Day was established. Memorial Day is not about division. It is about reconciliation; it is about coming together to honor those who gave their all. (It’s not an excuse for a damn party!)(Unless, of course, it is a party in the tradition of the New Orleans Jazz funerals where you would throw a party and celebrate when a friend has moved on to a “better place”. Quite often the tradition of lifting a toast for absent friends or brothers in arms who’ve passed on before us has an extensive history in the military forces. I know for a fact in the corporate offices of Dragon and Leprechaun Laffs Electronic Media there will be more than one glass lifted in memory of fallen friends.)

Memorial Day was officially proclaimed on 5 May 1868 by General John Logan, national commander of the Grand Army of the Republic, in his General Order No. 11, and was first observed on 30 May 1868, when flowers were placed on the graves of Union and Confederate soldiers at Arlington National Cemetery. The first state to officially recognize the holiday was New York in 1873. By 1890 it was recognized by all of the northern states. The South refused to acknowledge the day, honoring their dead on separate days until after World War I (when the holiday changed from honoring just those who died fighting in the Civil War to honoring Americans who died fighting in any war). It is now celebrated in almost every State on the last Monday in May (passed by Congress with the National Holiday Act of 1971 (P.L. 90 – 363) to ensure a three day weekend for Federal holidays), (because that three day weekend is so much more important than what the holiday is REALLY for!) though several southern states have an additional separate day for honoring the Confederate war dead: January 19 in Texas, April 26 in Alabama, Florida, Georgia, and Mississippi; May 10 in South Carolina; and June 3 (Jefferson Davis’ birthday) in Louisiana and Tennessee. image_thumb6

In 1915, inspired by the poem “In Flanders Fields,” Moina Michael replied with her own poem:

We cherish too, the Poppy red
That grows on fields where valor led,
It seems to signal to the skies
That blood of heroes never dies.

She then conceived of an idea to wear red poppies on Memorial Day in honor of those who died serving the nation during war. She was the first to wear one, and sold poppies to her friends and co-workers with the money going to benefit servicemen in need. Later a Madam Guerin from France was visiting the United States and learned of this new custom started by Ms. Michael and when she returned to France, made artificial red poppies to raise money

image_thumb8 for war orphaned children and widowed women. This tradition spread to other countries. In 1921, the Franco-American Children’s League sold poppies nationally to benefit war orphans of France and Belgium. The League disbanded a year later and Madam Guerin approached the VFW for help. Shortly before Memorial Day in 1922 the VFW became the first veterans’ organization to nationally sell poppies. Two years later their “Buddy” Poppy program was selling artificial poppies made by disabled veterans. In 1948 the US Post Office honored

image_thumb9 Ms. Michael for her role in founding the National Poppy movement by issuing a red 3 cent postage stamp with her likeness on it.

Traditional observance of Memorial Day has diminished over the years. Many Americans nowadays have forgotten the meaning and traditions of Memorial Day. At many cemeteries, the graves of the fallen are increasingly ignored, neglected. Most people no longer remember the proper flag etiquette for the day. While there are towns and cities that still hold Memorial Day parades, many have not held a parade in decades. Some people think the day is for honoring any and all dead, and not just those fallen in service to our country.

image_thumb10There are a few notable exceptions. Since the late 50’s on the Thursday before Memorial Day, the 1,200 soldiers of the 3d U.S. Infantry place small American flags at each of the more than 260,000 gravestones at Arlington National Cemetery. They then patrol 24 hours a day during the weekend to ensure that each flag remains standing. In 1951, the Boy Scouts and Cub Scouts of St. Louis began placing flags on the 150,000 graves at Jefferson Barracks National Cemetery as an annual Good Turn, a practice that continues to this day. More recently, beginning in 1998, on the Saturday before the observed day for Memorial Day, the Boys Scouts and Girl Scouts place a candle at each of approximately 15,300 grave sites of soldiers buried at Fredericksburg and Spotsylvania

e8f49d69814f80e175ff7d512b7e5a45_thu National Military Park on Marye’s Heights (the Luminaria Program). And in 2004, Washington D.C. held its first Memorial Day parade in over 60 years.

To help re-educate and remind Americans of the true meaning of Memorial Day, the National Moment of Remembrance” resolution was passed on Dec 2000 which asks that at 3 p.m. local time, for all Americans “To voluntarily and informally observe in their own way a Moment of remembrance and respect, pausing from whatever they are doing for a moment of silence or listening to Taps.”

The Moment of Remembrance is a step in the right direction to returning the meaning back to the day. What is needed is a full return to the original day of observance. Set aside one day out of the year for the nation to get together to remember, reflect and honor those who have given their all in service to their country.

But what may be needed to return the solemn, and even sacred, spirit back to Memorial Day is for a return to its traditional day of observance. Many feel that when Congress made the day into a three-day weekend in with the National Holiday Act of 1971, it made it all the easier for people to be distracted from the spirit and meaning of the day. As the VFW stated in its 2002 Memorial Day address: “Changing the date merely to create three-day weekends has undermined the very meaning of the day. No doubt, this has contributed greatly to the general public’s nonchalant observance of Memorial Day.”

On January 19, 1999 Senator Inouye introduced bill S 189 to the Senate which proposes to restore the traditional day of observance of Memorial Day back to May 30th instead of “the last Monday in May”. On April 19, 1999 Representative Gibbons introduced the bill to the House (H.R. 1474). The bills were referred the Committee on the Judiciary and the Committee on Government Reform.

To date, there have been no further developments on the bill. Please write your Representative and your Senators, urging them to support these bills.

Memorial Day is a day to remember our fallen in arms.

Isn’t it?

Isn’t that what it said above? I could’ve sworn…let me go back…yup, that’s exactly right. “…a day of remembrance for those who have died in our nation’s service.”

But, if you do a simple Google search for Memorial Day weekend you find a ton of sites like the Best of The Best Concert in Miami, 15 Ways To Celebrate Memorial Day Chicago Style, the opening of pools, beaches and the official start of the summer holiday season, and “The Greatest Spectacle in Racing” the “Largest Outdoor Sporting Event”, yes, ladies and gentleman, I’m talking about the Indianapolis 500 car race! Such an important Memorial Day Event mustn’t be forgotten … because it’s … because it’s so … um… it’s so Memorial.

Yeah, right. If you believe that, I’ve got a bridge to sell you. Low mileage, hardly used.

Memorial Day is a time to remember those stalwart souls who not only wrote the check, but had it cashed, as well.

“What check?” you ask.

“Really?” says I. You’ve never heard the most favorite of quotes: A veteran is someone who, at one point in his/her life, wrote a blank check made payable to “The United States of America,” for an amount of “up to and including my life.”

The check was cashed, many, many times and it’s our responsibility, our DUTY to pay the interest on those checks. And one way we can do so is to take the one day of the year set aside for the purpose of remembering our fallen comrades and treating the day with the solemnity it deserves.

So, on 28 May 2012, at 1500 hrs local time (that’s 3 p.m. for you civilian types) I would like, and I request that each and every camper out there bow their heads for a moment of silence. Shut off the damn televisions, the radios, the stereos and the gab box affixed to the front of most of our heads. If you have the capabilities of playing taps then that would be mighty nice.  [Taps is thoughtfully supplied for you by Lethal as provided by the Marine Corps band at the conclusion of Impish’s remarks]

And then, just to be special amongst ourselves, let’s do the same thing again on 30 May because that’s the day that it is supposed to be on. Maybe enough people following suit on the 30th might get it into the heads of the powers that be to change the day back to where it belongs.

The only way to make sure this day is brought back to what it was intended is for it to start somewhere. And if it’s going to start somewhere why not with us?

Why shouldn’t we be the ones to remember the day for what it is meant to be? Why shouldn’t we be the ones to shout it from the roof tops?

Tune in next week for a report on what we did for Memorial Day and please, write to us and tell us what you did to remember our fallen heroes.

Cheers my friends!

 

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