Heard from Impish. If you look hard enough in the comments (as he was unable to give his comment his full attention distracted by thoughts of pie as he was, so it wound up under our Memorial Day Issue instead of Today’s Issue) you’ll find a only portion of this communication to me from him.
This sort of thing is exactly why we do not allow him out on his own.
First I got this, some time late last night after I was abed and asleep after having counted the ways I was going to torture and punish Impish for yet another unauthorized excision of Dragon insanity and debauchery to get finally to sleep.
I suspect the misspelling of the word “heard” as “head”was caused by his rush to get back to his pie being precariously balanced against his need to attempt to assure me I didn’t have to go all “The Fugitive” on him that he would be returning shortly and (more or less) voluntarily. [Likely with an enraged pie hungry mob hot on his heels]
Then this morning there was this additional message from him no doubt written post initial pie devouring session while he was temporarily sated and awaited impatiently for the bakers to catch up to his eating speed.
Woo Hoo! Pie!!! Dude, I’ll be home in time for my issue on Saturday!
OK well THAT doesn’t seem so bad, aside from the whole jail break thing, the fines from the EPA for excessive methane production & release and the employee out on Workman’s Comp. who is hospitalized and threatening to sue. Pretty much your average week with Impish but THEN things took a turn and not for the better…
There was a bit of confusion at the store this morning and its possible I might need your lawyerly services over it. When I was ready to pay for my order, the cashier said,
“Strip down facing me.”
Making a mental note to complain to my congressman about Homeland Security running amok, I did just as she had instructed.
When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to my credit card.
I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future and charges of “terroristic obscenity”.
They need to make their instructions to us thoughts of pie distracted customers a little clearer!
Good issue this morning and I echo your sentiment to the principal at the school. What a moron!
Hey Greta! Kiss my BIG BLUE (pie filled and growing) DRAGON ASS!!!!!
Okay, time’s up, gotta get back to the pie!!!
SIGH! If you live in or near Cleveland Ohio I would not expect to obtain any pie there for several days and you might want to ration (and hide) your coffee supply too. If you have a weak heart or stomach I would avoid places where you can buy pie/pastry/donuts and/or coffee for several days as I fear there could possibly be a repeat occurrence of this sort of episode.
further reports of Dragon induced disasters DEVELOPMENTS if/when/as I am notified.