As you enter the conference room you see a section of the seating in t back has been screened off and is several CyberLethals in attendance armed with riot shields. Mean time a staff member armed with a clip board seems to be greeting an occasional Burka wearing individual at the door checking a ticket they have against the clipboard and directing them to the screened off area. Strangely while in fundamentalist Islamic countries the burka is worn by women judging by the foot wear and the style of luggage many are carrying you are of the belief these are men. This ongoing  action is evoking a great deal of unease among those gathered.  So much so that several shout out indignant questions when Lethal appears at the podium still looking some what worn and haggard from his recent prolonged illness.

“AS YOU WERE! QUIET IN THE RANKS!

That’s better! No we are not hosting any fundamentalist Islamic. Those are loyal readers, mostly men, but also 2 women, who reached out to Impish and I for protection, help and accommodations after royally screwing up for Valentine’s Day. For their won safety and so as to protect our methods and security arrangements they are traveling incognito using the easiest safest and simplest method we could devise on short notice.

As soon as the issue is over with they will be moved to a secure location for temporary accommodations, remedial proper Valentine’s Day comportment education and relationship mediation. Additionally I understand several will be receiving medical treatment as well. This will last until such time as their significant other indicates a willingness to take them back peaceably or until an amicable separation/divorce agreement can be hammered out (post assets hiding in a country with stiff banking privacy laws) by the staff of Dewy, Cheatem and Howe on their behalf.

Meanwhile we have a great issue for you with several comfort food recipes, another momentous (this time non blog related) announcement and loads of rollicking good fun. Shall we? Excuse me? No actually and notable Impish is not in Dutch with Mrs. Dragon over Valentine’s Day that I am aware of and his lack of presence should not be construed as his hiding. He’s actually out making pick ups of several of our more urgent and dangerous requests for extraction from domestic hot water at present. Some how several people got the idea that the whole Ghostbusters end of the world prediction might have been spot on. I gather this had something to do with the death of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia’s death at a West Texas ranch Saturday and the possibility of Obama appointing a Liberal Muslim Supreme Court Justice.

Now if there is nothing further? Good. Enjoy the issue.”

 

Enough with the drummed up holidays! Let’s get to the important ones!

It’s true: A new Harry Potter book is on the way !

With news of a new Harry Potter story coming to the stage in London, many fans from across the world were left disappointed as they wouldn’t be able to see Harry’s next chapter unfold.

Thankfully, all doubt of ever catching the live show in London was put to rest as everyone will be able to find out what happens in the official eighth Harry Potter story. The script is being published in print and as an eBook.

Both the print and eBook versions will be published in tandem on July 31, 2016, following the play’s world premiere on July 30th.

“Pottermore is proud to be a key part of the multi-platform effort that will allow the epic eighth Harry Potter story to be read and enjoyed by a wider, global audience,” Pottermore’s CEO, Susan L. Jurevics, was quoted in a press release. “With the script eBook of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child helping to lead the way, 2016 will be one of our most exciting years yet.”

Here’s the full synopsis for the story:

Harry Potter Cast: Where Are They Now?

 

If they did a modern portrait of Mona Lisa it would probably looks something like this:

Yeah laugh now Impish, what is it? About two years before Izzy starts driving and you start getting these calls?

So two weeks ago Impish was showing off his mechanical dragon construct. Well here is mine now, a mechanical Jaffa Warrior replete with armor and staff weapon. Oh! Almost forgot his pal the Alien from Predator movies:

Memory-a spoof by Pam Peterson

Award-winning cabaret singer Pam Peterson sings a funny parody about the challenges of an aging memory.

 

Now go back and read only the left face of the pillar. Then those of you with Liberal Arts Majors or Degrees repeat after me , “You want fries with that?”

No worries mate I’m pretty sure Impish, Ginny and I will still be here after the Rapture as well.

So I’m mostly better now but whenever I’m seriously sick I barely eat. Occasionally Molly actually has to force me to eat which knowing my love of food I think scares the poor woman more than anything else, her philosophy being if he’s getting up to eat he can’t be too sick.

Consequently when I come off being sick enough that my appetite returns, I start looking for stick to the ribs comfort foods, ones that don’t take a whole lot of time and effort because I usually don’t have that kind of stamina as yet.

Usually that means soups or pasta. This time around it meant gnocchi.

Cheesy Gnocchi Casserole with Ham and Peas

Ingredients

1 tablespoon unsalted butter
1 onion, chopped
One 8-ounce piece deli ham, diced
1/2 teaspoon chopped fresh thyme
1/2 cup low-sodium chicken broth
One 17.5-ounce package potato gnocchi
1 cup frozen peas, thawed
1/4 cup heavy cream
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 cup shredded Swiss or Gruyere cheese

Directions

Preheat the broiler to high heat.
Melt the butter in a large ovenproof skillet over medium heat. Add the onions and cook until softened, about 3 minutes. Add the ham and thyme and continue to cook until the ham is lightly browned.
Add the chicken broth and 3/4 cup water and bring to a simmer. Add the gnocchi, stir well, cover and cook until the gnocchi is slightly tender, about 5 minutes. Remove from the heat. Uncover and stir in the peas, cream, 1/4 teaspoon salt and 1/4 teaspoon pepper. Sprinkle the cheese over the top and broil until golden and bubbly, about 3 minutes. Serve.

If you don’t have the heavy Cream I’ve gotten by with 1/2 a can of cream of mushroom soup mixed with a heaping teaspoon of flour before introducing it to the pan. I also like adding mushrooms and garlic to this while the onions sauté.

Smithfield makes diced ham in a cryovac pouch now that’s 8 oz. and saves the whole chopping the ham step. Since I buy frozen diced onions as well this really speeds things along.

 

Italian Eggplant Gnocchi Bake

Ingredients

12 ounces frozen or fresh plain gnocchi
1 1/2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
1 medium white onion, diced
Kosher salt
2 small Italian eggplant (about 1 pound), diced
1 1/4 cups store-bought roasted garlic marinara sauce
1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
1 1/2 ounces shredded provolone
Sprigs fresh basil or oregano, for garnish, optional

Directions

Preheat the oven to 475 degrees F. Bring a large pot of water to a boil.
Add the gnocchi to the boiling water and cook according to the package directions; drain, reserving 1/2 cup of the cooking liquid.
Meanwhile, heat the oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add the onions and 1/8 teaspoon salt and cook, stirring occasionally, until soft, about 5 minutes. Add the eggplant and cook, stirring occasionally, until the eggplant is very soft and the onions are golden brown, 10 to 12 minutes. Remove from the heat.
Add the gnocchi, reserved cooking liquid, marinara sauce and red pepper flakes to the skillet with the eggplant mixture and stir to combine.
Transfer the eggplant-gnocchi mixture to a 9-inch oval or square baking dish. Sprinkle with the provolone. Bake on the top oven rack until hot and bubbling and the cheese turns golden, about 15 minutes. Remove from the oven and let sit for 5 minutes.
Garnish with the fresh basil sprigs if using and serve.

Two simple tips for best results when using eggplant:

1.) Peel the eggplant. The skin is somewhat tough to eat even when cooked.

2.) Try to buy and use only male eggplants. Male eggplants have fewer and smaller seeds. Not only are seeds bitter, the more seeds the more liquid you’ll have coming out of them. How do you tell a male eggplant from a female? Glad you asked! Its really simple and takes all of about a second to do:

See the one on the left? See how the bellybutton looks like a slit? While the one on the right has a definite round-shaped mark? Okay, the one on the left is the girl, the other one is a boy. Simple, right?

If you want to turn this from a side dish or a meatless main dish into a complete casserole, just do what I do. I par boil some Italian sausage links the the gnocchi water before the gnocchi go in. You won’t hurt the gnocchi and any grease will be on the surface so it pours off right away when draining the gnocchi. Speaking of draining the gnocchi the water you reserve should be from the bottom of the pan the potato starch is heavy and goes to the bottom of the pan buy using this cloudy looking water you’ll actually help thicken and tighten up the sauce.

Back to the Italian sausage, I then brown them while the onions cook right in the same pan. Once they are brown I remove them and let them cook enough to handle easily.

Once you have the eggplant in the pan I use that 10 to 12 minute window to cut the sausages in half the long way and then into slices. I then add it back in when the gnocchi and sauce go into the pan or if I’m tight on pan room, I’ll put half the mixture into the baking pan, layer the sausage and then the rest of the mixture. You might want to use a slightly larger pan if adding in the sausages.

You can probably serve 6 with the addition of the sausages to this plus a side salad and some crusty bread. Need to serve 8? Add some sliced mushrooms and a chopped green pepper while cooking the onions.

Houston man accused of having sex with woman on Las Vegas Ferris wheel

LAS VEGAS – A Houston man and a New York woman are facing felony charges after authorities say they were recorded having sex in public during a 30-minute ride in a glass-enclosed cabin on a Ferris wheel 550 feet above the Las Vegas Strip.

A Las Vegas judge on Tuesday set a March 9 date to see if the charges against Phillip Frank Panzica III and Chloe Scordianos can be resolved without trial.

The two were arrested Feb. 5 after riding alone together in one cabin on the High Roller.

Police say surveillance cameras captured the act, security warned the couple to stop, and people in another car shot cellphone video.

Images haven’t been made public.

Panzica’s attorney, Bennair Bateman, declined comment.

Scordianos’ lawyer, Chris Rasmussen, says his client believed the couple had an expectation of privacy.

Which is to say nothing of their expectation that what happens in Vegas would stay in Vegas!

Snowball (TM) – Another One Bites The Dust

 

Good Morning Campers!

Welcome to the first edition of Dragon Laffs produced from my new laptop!  I must say I was really looking forward to setting up this new laptop.  I was EXCITED!  I could set it up anyway I wanted.  I could learn from all the mistakes I’d made in the past and make this the perfect laptop.

What a pain in the ass it’s been!

Making your laptop perfect is hard work.  I may get it right in time for this one to wear out and for the next one to be bought.

So, anyway, tomorrow is Valentine’s Day.  A day that some people claim was made up by the greeting card companies to sell more cards.  Well, here’s the true low-down on this romantic holiday.

The following videos were found by the History Channel to explain this holiday.

Nothing says “I Love You” like Slapping your honey with strips of animal skin!

Average American spends $130 on Valentine’s Day?  Man, I got a long way to go!  So much for my little box of chocolates.

Well, let’s get on with today’s issue and I’ll be sure to intersperse more fun Valentine’s Day stuff in between the regular good fun!

But not to cast too much fun on this holiday, this could be a really crappy Valentine’s Day…at least according to Ghost Busters II

 

 

And since it’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow, let me present to you the Impish Dragon Top 10 Valentine poems.  These are all quick verses, suitable for putting into cards or on a cake and that I have found over the years, exactly express my feelings.

So, here they are, starting with number 10…

10.  I admire your strength, I admire your spunk
But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.
9.   Our love will never become cold and hollow
Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.
8.  I bought this Valentine’s card at the sto.
In hopes that later, you’d be my ho.
7.  This feels so good, it feels so right
I just wish it wasn’t $250 a night.
6.  You’re a woman of style, you’re a woman of class
Especially when I’m spanking, your big-round-fat ass.
5.  Before I met you, my heart was so famished
But now I’m fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!
4. Through all the things that came to pass
Our love has grown. . . but so has your ass.
3.  You’re a honey. . . and you’re a cutie
I just wished you had J-Lo’s “booty”.
2.  I don’t wanna be sappy or silly or corny
So, right to the point, let’s do it, I’m horny!
1.   If you think that hickey looks like a blister
You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!

Granted, that last one got me slapped, really hard, by both the girl AND her sister!

 

Mrs Dragon informed me that if I ever answered her with any of those 11 responses she’d hit me.  She didn’t say with what, just that she’d hit me.

When Football was really a game.  Johnny Carson interviewing Art Donovan

 

We recently had a conversation with Ginny about just that subject.  As a gentleman dragon I can’t comment on exactly WHAT was said, but I will say that Paul is one lucky S.O.B.!

 

 

 

Okay, so the Valentine’s Day wishes aren’t getting any better.

 

 

For all of you who may not realize or know, this is the definition of
A POSITIVE ATTITUDE

Amen Marvin!  I’m with you 100%.  Let them just try to take my Illudium P-36 Explosive Space Modulator!  Go ahead.  I dare you!!

Because it’s cool.  I don’t know why else I would’ve put this one in.  I can’t think of any good stories to go along with it or anything like that…although it does kinda look like one of my kidney stones.  And the fire is a great representation of what the pain feels like.  So, there you go.  It’s the artist’s rendition of a kidney stone.

A man was walking in the city, when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking bum who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The man took out his wallet, extracted two dollars and asked, “If I gave you this money, will you take it and buy whiskey?”

“No, I stopped drinking years ago,” the bum said.

“Will you use it to gamble?”

“I don’t gamble. I need everything I can get just to stay alive.”

“Will you spend the money on greens fees at a golf course?”

“Are you NUTS!? I haven’t played golf in 20 years!”

The man said, “Well, I’m not going to give you two dollars. Instead, I’m going to take you to my home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.”

The bum was astounded. “Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad.”

The man replied: “That’s OK. I just want her to see what a man who’s given up drinking, gambling and golf looks like.”

There is always a plus in life.  All you have to do is just watch for it.

It’s so much fun having a new computer and having it actually type the letters I want it to type without having to push down hard on the letter r or watch and keep clicking the ‘ to see when it eventually appears on the screen. 

Just thought I’d throw that in there.

 

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Ireland.

Eventually he shot down a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over it, the little, green farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, “I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”

Lethal Leprechaun, who was at this time in his life, a farmer replied, “This is my property, and you are not coming over here.”

The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial attorneys in Ireland and if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything you own.”

The Leprechaun smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we settle disputes in Northern Ireland. We settle small disagreements like this with the ‘Three Kick Rule.'”

The lawyer asked, “What is the ‘Three Kick Rule’?”

Lethal replied, “Well, because the dispute occurred on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times, and then you kick me three times and so on, back and forth until someone gives up.” The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the little leprechaun. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

Our little green hero slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney.

His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees!

His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer’s last meal gushing from his mouth.

The lawyer was on all fours when the leprechaun’s third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and remaining strength and very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, “Okay, you little, green fart. Now it’s my turn.”

Lethal Leprechaun smiled and said, “You know what? Take the duck.”

Never, ever mess with the Leprechaun!

In case you can’t hear the little smiley, he’s doing a rimshot.

Excessive Celebrations…..

 

 

 

This is just too much.  I don’t know if this lady just doesn’t get it or if she’s yanking his chain.  Hilarious.

How he stayed as upbeat as he did is beyond me.

 

 

Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders debated in New Hampshire Thursday and argued over the definition of socialism. A good example popped up the next day. A Vermont tattoo artist on Friday offered to tattoo a likeness of Bernie Sanders to any registered voter for free, forty dollars after taxes.

 

 

Are you stressed out? Tired? Irritable?  Here’s the cure!

A man wanted to become a monk so he went to the monastery and talked to the abbot (the head monk). The abbot said, “You must take a vow of silence and can only say two words every three years.” The man agreed.

After the first 3 years, the abbot came to him and said, “What are your two words?”
“Food cold!” the man replied. The abbot made sure the meals are not cold.

Three more years went by and the abbot came to him and said, “What are your two words?”.
“Robe dirty!” the man exclaimed. The abbot ordered his robe be washed.

Three more years went by and the abbot came to him and said, “What are your two words?”

– “Bed hard!“. The abbot made sure the mattress got re-stuffed.

Three more years went by and the abbot came to him and said, “What are your two words?”

– “I quit!” said the man.

“Well,” the abbot replied, “I’m not surprised, you’ve done nothing but complain since you got here!“

And here we go again!!

 

This is a TRUE Buddy!

 

Yes, we had lots of fun with Valentine’s Day and motivationals today, but the last one speaks volumes as to the true nature of love.  And what does Valentine’s Day mean to me?  Well, it’s a lot like this next picture that Lethal sent to me.  This is the kind of love that I want.  And the kind that I know I have:

You can forget everything in life, but your one true love.

Friends,  may your Valentine’s Day tomorrow be special and sweet and may the love you feel last forever.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

Blah-humbug.

Feeling and getting better, but not particularly talkative.

Besides, the issue is huge and is going to take a lot of time to get through.

Now if you excuse me I have to go represent Waldo at his custody hearing.  Apparently according the the Government being ‘off the grid’ makes you a  potential terrorist.

[At least to us.]

Impish was suppose to announce this Saturday as was only fitting since he founded this blog long before there ever was such a thing as blogs. However Impish rarely reads my memos in a timely fashion and didn’t get this one until after his issue when to publication (as normal 2 minutes before its deadline). So it falls to me to make this momentous announcement. As you know I have mentioned several times we were approaching the 300,000 views mark. I have been tracking it on about an every other day basis though being sick did sort of interfere with that somewhat.

I checked the total page his on Feb 5, 2016, at 13:07 ( that’s last Friday just after 1 in the afternoon to you civilians) and found that we had-

PASSED the 300,000 views mark!

As I have said before given we’ve only been in the blog now for something like 6 years and only have around 475 members give or take at any one time this to us is HUGE.

Impish and I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your continued readership and support without which this would never had been possible.

Which reminds me…

Just a friendly reminder that Valentine’s Day is just around the corner!

(Pauses to savor the screams &/or moans of despair from the men in the audience)

Here are a few addressable gift cards for your presents.

One time of the year where being a socially awkward Geek has its advantages!

And here are a few V Day cards for you Nerds out there:

Finally since I’m feeling a bit terse with the raw throat I’ve still got left. I decided I might as well translate that over to Molly’s Valentine’s Day card as well-

Or you can celebrate V-Day with good a ol’ fashioned board game that has a very adult twist. Diamen? Ginny? Impish and I are waiting to play!

 

 

Sorry but after that I feel compelled to show this video:

 

After all if it’s not music it must be noise right?

 

 

Brain-eating Zombies abandon attack on Washington

BREAKING NEWS: The attack of the brain-eating zombies on Washington has failed.

Zombie leaders have just announced they are withdrawing from the nations capital confirming what many zombie leaders had earlier said. “this attack was a fruitless effort in that the supply of brains in Washington was limited to only a very small percentage of the population”.

Recent estimates that only about 1% of Washington residents possess enough “grey matter” for a decent meal have been confirmed as many of the zombie army are dying from starvation on the battle fields in and around the White House and Capital.

In additional news from across the nation, the attacks on the major universities have also ceased for the same reason. The zombies are now concentrating their attacks on the many survivalist camps around the country, but are being met by fierce resistance from the well-armed occupants of these isolated outpost.

Meanwhile the mindless madness continues in the Capital and on campuses across America

A husband gets more than he expected after asking his wife what’s on her mind

Recently, a guy asked his wife to draw out what she was thinking.  I doubt he wasn’t expecting such an elaborate map.

Although at first glance it comes off a bit overwhelming, it shows just how much actually is on her mind and how good mothers and wives can be at working through the madness.

Thoughts on kids? That’s gonna take several diagrams.

Luckily for the husband, (as long as his name is Stephen) she thinks of him fondly.

….Very fondly.

I have to admit I have my doubts about that drawing being done by a female. Did you see shopping, shoes, gossip, chocolate or wine?

“IMPISH! GET YOUR BLOODY SNOUT OUT O’ ME GLASS!- Lethal Leprechaun

Stupid Shit Cops Say to Keep You From Recording

Avi S. Adelman December 2, 2015

As I dive deeper and deeper into the legal complexities of the right to photograph and record in public (I can quote Glik v Cuniffe so fast I will make your head spin), I have noticed a disturbing trend:

The reasons and excuses offered by police officers, firefighters, security officers, even teachers and principals, to keep you from taking a photograph are just plain pathetic.

There’s not a shred of originality – let alone truth – to any of them. It’s as if they communicate on their own private radio frequency. What really fascinates me is how people who are usually intelligent and hard-working individuals can say many of these things without thinking, That is so stupid and inane, even I wouldn’t believe it if I heard it.

Of course, many of these statements are illegal, threatening, violations of any number of your Constitutionally-mandated rights (if not all of them), or just plain – how can we say this in a diplomatic way? – frigging stupid.

This list is posted for your protection and education. The next time you hear someone in authority – or someone who thinks they are in a position of authority – saying anything on this list, your Bullshit Meter should set off an alarm and you can just ignore the blubbering fool.

If you have any more words of wisdom to add to this list, please put them in the comments.

1. The camera could be a gun.
2. 9/11. That’s all I need to say.
3. Are you a terrorist?
4. You must be a terrorist.
5. National security. That’s all I need to say.
6. If this building were to suddenly blow up, we would want to know who to call with some questions.
7. You don’t have my permission to take my photograph here on the street.
8. You need permission to take photographs of people in the accident.
9. You need to respect people’s privacy.
10. You’re real close to going to jail…real close!
11. Put that camera down and stop taking photos. Now!
12. Do you not have anything better to do with your life?
13. Let me see your credentials/identification/press pass/etc.
14. You need a press pass to be here.
15. The crime scene is as big as I want it to be.
16. Just back away and shoot with a long lens.
17. I’m taking your picture because you took mine.
18. The yellow tape is for anyone not holding a camera. YOU need to go back another block or more.
19. Why are you pointing a camera at me while I am trying to do my job?
20. Give me the photo disk. Now!
21. If you keep recording, we will take your camera as evidence!
22. Give me your camera. Now!
23. Let me see your photographs.
24. I don’t need a warrant to see your photographs.
25. I don’t need a warrant to take your camera.
26. Stop resisting arrest while I try to take your camera!
27. You have taken enough photos, now go away.
28. You cannot have my name and badge number.
29. My name is Your Worse Nightmare and my badge number is 666.
30. This is a government building, no photographs are allowed.
31. You can’t take photographs of that government building.
32. You can’t take photographs of that office building.
33. You don’t have my permission to record this conversation on the street.
34. Because I said so!

I have prepared a two-page reprint of this story so you can carry it in your camera bag (anyone for Stupid Shit Cops Say Bingo??). Click here to download the PDF file.

About Avi S. Adelman

Avi S. Adelman is a sort-of professional photographer in Dallas, Texas, shooting mostly for fun and not much profit. He is also a freelance graphic designer. Avi is a member of the National Press Photographers Association (NPPA) and organized the first “Right to Photograph & Record in Public” event presented by NPPA in October 2014 to more than 200 law enforcement officers in North Texas.

John Cleese: Political Correctness Can Lead to an Orwellian Nightmare

 

 

 

You have to be really careful what you say around Mrs. Dragon. She’s very sensitive and has an Irish temper besides!

Sampler Platter from a new BBQ joint Molly and I tried last weekend. Good thing we weren’t hungry and decided to share it when we ordered! Slaw is pink because it has pickled ginger in it and a mayonnaise-less Asian style dressing.

Ok so these might be too late for the Super Bowl but March Madness is right around the corner and then all those baby and bridal showers. You can never have too many good ‘go to’ munchies recipes in your panty.

Pizza Roll-Ups

 

 

 

Flaky, buttery crescent rolls surround sausage, pepperoni, and melting cheese. Serve with marinara sauce for dipping.

 

 

 

 

Ingredients:

• 2 tubes of refrigerated crescent rolls

• 1 (5 oz.) package of mini pepperoni

• 1 (12 oz.) package of mozzarella string cheese

• ½ lb. ground Italian sausage

• Private Selection™ Pizza Seasoning

• 2 Tbsp. melted butter

• Garlic powder

• 1 cup marinara sauce

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 375°F. In medium skillet, cook Italian sausage over medium heat until no longer pink, breaking up with a spoon until crumbly.
2. Separate crescent dough into triangles and sprinkle pizza seasoning on top. Cut one string cheese in half and place at top of dough. Add mini pepperoni and Italian sausage.
3. Roll up and place on baking sheet. Bake for 12-15 minutes or until golden brown. Brush with melted butter and sprinkle garlic salt over top. Serve with marinara sauce for dipping

Pizza Balls

Another version of the above idea which might be equally at home on the dinner table with a salad

Cheeseburger Dip

Cheeseburger dip – a hybrid of a simple cheeseburger with all the classic toppings and a creamy cheese dip.

Ingredients:

• 1 lb. lean ground beef

• ½ cup onion

• 2 tsp. Worcestershire sauce

• 2 Tbsp. water

• ½ cup dill pickles, chopped

• 4 oz. cream cheese

• 1½ cups shredded sharp cheddar cheese, divided

• 2 cups romaine lettuce, chopped

• 1 cup tomatoes, chopped

• 2 green onions, sliced

• Salt and pepper, to taste

• Tortilla chips for serving

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 350° F. Lightly grease a 1-quart casserole dish.
2. Cook the ground beef and onion over medium heat in a medium nonstick skillet until the beef is browned and cooked through. Add the Worcestershire sauce, water, pickles and cream cheese. Stir until combined. Remove from the heat and add one cup of cheddar cheese. Stir again until combined. Season with salt and pepper to taste.
3. Transfer the dip to the baking dish and cover it with the remaining cheese. Bake for 5-7 minutes or until the cheese is melted. Top with the chopped lettuce, tomatoes and green onions. Serve with chips.

Big Game Chocolate Hazelnut Cheesecake Dip

 

This Chocolate Hazelnut Cheesecake Dip has layers of cheesecake filling and crunchy hazelnut spread, and it’s topped with a smooth whipped hazelnut mousse. It’s great for dipping strawberries, graham crackers and any other favorite fruit 

 

 

Cheesecake Filling:

• 1 package (8 oz.) Cream Cheese, softened

• ¼ cup Condensed Milk

• Pinch of salt

Hazelnut Mousse:

• 1 pint Heavy Whipping Cream

• 3 Tbsp. Condensed Milk

• 1 jar (13 oz.)  Hazelnut Spread

• Pinch of salt

Other Ingredients:

• Graham crackers

• Strawberries

• Other fruits

Directions:

1. Beat the softened cream cheese and a pinch of salt in a mixer with 3 Tbsp. condensed milk until fluffy and combined. Add the vanilla and mix until well incorporated.
2. Spread the cheesecake filling into the bottom of your serving bowl.
3. Whip the heavy whipping cream until it reaches a medium peak.
4. Add ¼ cup of hazelnut spread to the whipped cream, another pinch of salt and whip until stiff peaks form and the mixture is well combined. Don’t whip too much or the mixture will curdle. Set aside in the refrigerator to keep it chilled.
5. Add the rest of the jar of hazelnut spread to the top of your cheesecake filling in the serving bowl and spread.
6. Layer the chocolate hazelnut mousse on top of the chocolate hazelnut spread.  
7. Garnish with strawberries, graham crackers and other fruits on the side and serve. Enjoy, and may the best team win!

‘Confucius Did Not Say:

MAN WHO WANTS PRETTY NURSE MUST BE PATIENT.

PASSIONATE KISS, LIKE SPIDER WEB, LEADS TO UNDOING FLY.

LADY WHO GOES CAMPING WITH MAN MUST BEWARE OF EVIL INTENT.

SQUIRREL WHO RUNS UP WOMAN’S LEG WILL NOT FIND NUTS.

MAN WHO RUNS IN FRONT OF CAR GETS TIRED, BUT MAN WHO RUNS BEHIND CAR GETS EXHAUSTED.

MAN WHO EATS MANY PRUNES GET GOOD RUN FOR MONEY.

WAR DOES NOT DETERMINE WHO IS RIGHT; IT DETERMINES WHO IS LEFT.

MAN WHO FIGHTS WITH WIFE ALL DAY GET NO PIECE AT NIGHT.

IT TAKES MANY NAILS TO BUILD A CRIB, BUT ONLY ONE SCREW TO FILL IT.

MAN WHO DRIVES LIKE HELL IS BOUND TO GET THERE.

WISE MAN DOES NOT KEEP SLEDGE HAMMER AND SLOW COMPUTER IN SAME ROOM.

MAN WHO LIVES IN GLASS HOUSE SHOULD CHANGE CLOTHES IN BASEMENT.

And, Confucius  Certainly Did Ever Not Say. . .”A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood!”

George Carlin – Political Correctness is fascism pretending to be Manners…..

 

Politically Incorrect

We’re All Going to Jail: When a masked man was spotted outside Brickett Elementary School in Lynn, Mass., with a gun, the principal didn’t take any chances: she put the school on lockdown and called 911, even though she “thought the gun might be plastic.” It was, and so was the mask: the man was dressed as a “Star Wars” stormtrooper. “The way things are today, you can’t have that,” said Lynn Police spokesman Lt. Rick Donnelly. George Cross, 40, was arrested and charged with “disturbing a school” and loitering within 1,000 feet of a school, even though, Donnelly admits, “Our feelings are that he was not there to cause harm to the kids.” Cross “used bad judgment,” Donnelly says, which “did cause a disturbance and we can’t tolerate that.” (RC/Salem News) …Bad judgment: now a criminal offense.

Killing the Enemy: Holland is part of an international coalition against ISIS. “By killing a member of [ISIS] I have probably saved dozens of lives,” said Jitse Akse. And yet Dutch authorities have arrested a man reporters identified as Akse, 47, who allegedly joined Kurdish fighters to battle ISIS. “Dutch law — apart from in exceptional circumstances like self-defense — does not give citizens the right to use force and particularly not deadly force,” prosecutors said. The man was released, but his passport was taken and he could be charged with murder. (AC/AFP) …Because the difference between war and murder is whether your government told you to do it.

A Big Hairy Adventure: Donald Trump has been making the U.S. Presidential race into quite a show, and now he’s topping the charts in the world of erotic literature. Comedian Elijah Daniel, 22, wrote the book in four hours while drunk, and now Trump Temptations: The Billionaire & The Bellboy is ranked number 1 in Amazon’s “humorous erotica” and “gay erotica” categories. “With his oily orange skin glistening in the sunlight as if he were a soggy Cheetos,” one passage reads. Most of the book’s reviews on Amazon give it five stars. “This has to be the single most impressive piece of writing in modern American literary history,” wrote one reviewer. “When I am on my death bed I will be reading this book and my family will say ‘Again?’ and I will say ‘Yes, now and forever’.” Senator Ted Cruz has also has an erotic book written about him: Lacey Noonan’s A Cruzmas Carol: Ted Cruz Takes a Dickens of a Constitutional. (MS/Los Angeles Times) …This could be a whole new, fun way to elect a President.

http://www.thisistrue.com.

6 January 2016

Good Morning Campers!

It’s happened!!!

Woo Hoo!

My new (to me) laptop got here yesterday! 

17.3 inch Screen
1 TB of storage
Touch Screen

And a fantastic price because it’s refurbished.  It may not last more than a couple of years, but the one that I’ve had for many, many years is about done.  I’ve done all the updates and put a lot of the storage on a portable hard drive and I’ve worked around the keys that don’t quite work anymore, that long time that it takes to start up and the strange noises it makes as it operates.

I spoke to it a few weeks ago and it told me that it would try to hold on till the new one got here, but it’s getting hard to keep up and I’m tired.  It’s time for me to pass.

So, this is the last issue from my old standby.

Next week’s issue will be from the new guy…if I can get it spun up and working the way that I want.  And if I can get all the applications installed the way that I want…and….we’ll see.

But right now, I have to work all weekend so let’s get this party started:

Being a Dad is not easy.  In fact, it’s probably the hardest job in the world, second only to being a Mom.  One of the things I learned early on is that you gotta blend some humor in with the raising and disciplining stuff if you want your child to grow up to be a well-rounded child.  So, this Dad gets it. 

This Zika virus is pretty scary stuff.  And that’s coming from a guy who works with scary stuff for a living.  The virus is spread to people through mosquito bites.  But, that may not be true any longer.  I just read a report that supposes that the virus was transmitted from one person to another through sexual contact. http://www.cnn.com/2016/02/02/health/zika-virus-sexual-contact-texas/index.html

It is the first known case of an American getting Zika locally.  In other words, all cases up to this point have been from someone who has been to South America and been bitten by an infected mosquito.

The symptoms include fever, rash, joint pain, and conjunctivitis or red eyes.  It’s usually mild with symptoms lasting from several days to a week.  Severe cases requiring hospitalization are rare.

So, why are we worried about it, if it’s just mild symptoms?

From my viewpoint as a CBRNE (Chemical, Biological, Radiological, Nuclear and high-yield Explosive) Survival Instructor, any disease or virus that is transmitted by mosquito has the potential to mutate into something worse.  It’s already mutated by being able to have human to human contact.  Trust me when I tell you that it doesn’t bode well.

The particular mosquitoes that transmit this disease do not travel more than like 50 feet or so from their birth place, so the odds of them making their way up to the US are pretty slim…unless it mutates…which it already has.

So, you see why someone who plays with nerve agents and anthrax for a living is a little concerned about this stuff?

Yes.  Yes, we did.

 

Hey Hillary.  Pay attention, this next one is for you…

Good ole Maggie…we need a few more like her around!

 

People are always making monuments to me.

 

Jeannie who is Gracie and I have been talking about this back and forth for several days and both of us have said how often this has happened to us.  And I know for a fact, cause I share books with some of them, that quite a few people who read this ezine are sitting at their desks right now nodding their heads thinking of times that this has happened to them.

 

If you think about it, it makes a lot of sense.

 

Okay, do you guys remember this from Wednesday in Leprechaun Laffs?

Cream Cheese Swirled Banana Zucchini Bread

If there is anything you should know about Impish and my culinary predilections (aside from the fact we both like to cook and eat) its that we’re both gaga over Banana Bread. When I found this recipe I immediately shared it with Impish who in turn immediately volunteered to test drive it. Look for his comments on the recipe Saturday.

Well, here it is!  What a great and simple recipe this was.  Here’s my report:

I’ll take this one step at a time.  The first thing I did was set the oven to:

This was pretty much my first mistake with this recipe since I was taking notes and pictures through out the entire thing, I really didn’t need the oven for at least 30 minutes so I wasted some heat, but that’s okay, since you won’t have that problem.
Then I had to grease and flour a 9×5 inch loaf pan.  I was taught a LONG time ago how to do this the RIGHT way, so as you can see, my pan looks pretty good:

After that, I did something that I don’t usually do when I’m cooking at home for myself or my family, but something I used to do all the time when I was training new cooks, chefs, bakers, etc.  I took out and premeasured all the ingredients so that we could concentrate on the actual cooking and what the recipe is really trying to make.  So, I did it hear, photographed it and labeled it all.  Well, I labeled it all for the picture, I didn’t label it in real life.

Next we added the flour, sugar, cinnamon, baking powder, baking soda and salt to a large bowl.  And this is what that looked like:

 

 

Many people don’t realize that it’s important to mix dry ingredients as well as wet ingredients.  So, what I always do is grab a whisk and stir up the powdered ingredients so that it looks like this:

 

Next we do the same thing with the wet ingredients.  We add the egg, bananas, oil and vanilla extract to a smaller bowl.  The problem is, that this REALLY doesn’t look as good as the dry ingredients:

I won’t say what it looks like to me.  I’m sure you can figure that out for yourself.  I used VERY ripe bananas that we had frozen some months back and froze.  Thawed them out and put them in the mix.  Yes, we actually have bananas frozen for just this type of occasion.  Like Lethal said in his Wednesday issue, we both LOVE our banana bread.

 

Now, we’re going to mix that and as you can see, it looks better, but not by much:

 

 

Now we start adding the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients.  I used the electric mixer for this because #1 I’m lazy, #2 my arthritis won’t let me mix by hand too much anymore and #3 I’m lazy.  Next you fold in the zucchini.  Now, folding the zucchini was really tough.  It didn’t fold at all.  So, instead, I shredded it and added it to the mix.
Okay, reality check here.  Folding means adding it in to the mix and stirring it downward in a folding motion.  I didn’t do that.  I added it in and beat the hell out of it with the mixer because I like the zucchini mixed in well.

 

You now pour half the mixture into your greased and floured 9×5 loaf pan.  That was probably the easiest part of the whole recipe.

 

Now, the next part is where it starts getting difficult.  It doesn’t work out as well as the recipe says it will and had I to do it again, I would’ve done it differently.

You put the softened cream cheese, sugar and the other egg in a small bowl and whip it till it’s creamy.  Make sure the cream cheese is REALLY soft.  And I still don’t think that’s enough to get it as creamy as it should be.  Beat those ingredients into submission. 

What I would’ve done different is to add a little milk or another egg or some melted butter or something to make it a bit softer.

The recipe says to then pour this over the the batter in the pan, but you weren’t pouring this stuff anywhere.  It was too stiff.  So, I used an old lasagna trick to put the ricotta cheese on the lasagna by spooning the mixture into a zip lock bag, cutting a tiny piece off the corner and making a home-made pastry bag.  I’ve done this with icing on a cake and all kinds of different things.

Then you squeeze it out on top of the mixture and it looks like this:

It works.

It’s not pretty.

But, it works.

 

Then you add the rest of the batter on top.  And throw it in the oven for 50-60 minutes.

…

except

For me, it took about 90 minutes before it was done all the way.  I’m not sure if my pan was too deep (a 9×5 pan is a 9×5 pan.  That shouldn’t have mattered)  or whether it was something else.  I almost think that using a 9×9 inch pan would’ve been better.  But, when it was done, it came out of the oven and looked and smelled SO GOOD!!!

And once we cut it and ate it…. oh my gawd!  … it was great!  Thanks Lethal for pushing this one and letting me in on it a little early so I could try it out.  And thanks to all of you for hanging with me through this explanation.

 

 

 

 

This is the view from outside the vacation mountain.  And yes, it’s real and no, I won’t tell you how.

 

But she will still not hesitate to tell you how poor she is.

 

 

 

Have you ever found yourself out numbered in a snowball fight?  Get plastered with snowballs and buried in the snow?  Well, no more my friend.  Watch:

 

But she’s broke.  Just ask her.  She’ll tell you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t you wish that this is how it really was?  People would wake up real fast!!

The Canadians know how to handle complaints. Here is an example.

A Canadian female liberal wrote a lot of letters to the Canadian government, complaining about the treatment of captive insurgents (terrorists) being held in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities. She demanded a response to her letter. She received back the following reply:

National Defense Headquarters
M Gen George R. Pearkes Bldg., 15 NT
101 Colonel By Drive
Ottawa , ON K1A 0K2
Canada

Dear Concerned Citizen

Thank you for your recent letter expressing your profound concern of treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda terrorists captured by Canadian Forces, who were subsequently transferred to the Afghanistan Government and are currently being held by Afghan officials in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities.

Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinions were heard loud and clear here in Ottawa. You will be pleased to learn, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself, we are creating a new department here at the Department of National Defense, to be called ‘Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers’ program, or L.A.R.K. for short.

In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided, on a trial basis, to divert several terrorists and place them in homes of concerned citizens such as yourself, around the country, under those citizens personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and is scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence in Toronto next Monday.

Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud is your detainee, and is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint. You will be pleased to know that we will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with your recommendations.

Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his ‘attitudinal problem’ will help him overcome those character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling, however, we strongly recommend that you hire some assistant caretakers.

Please advise any Jewish friends, neighbors or relatives about your house guest, as he might get agitated or even violent, but we are sure you can reason with him. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless in your opinion, this might offend him.

Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills either in your home or wherever you choose to take him while helping him adjust to life in our country.

Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters except sexually, since he views females as a form of property, thereby having no rights, including refusal of his sexual demands. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him.

You also should know that he has shown violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the dress code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire. I’m sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka over time. Just remember that it is all part of ‘respecting his culture and religious beliefs’, as described in your letter.

You take good care of Ahmed and remember that we will try to have a counselor available to help you over any difficulties you encounter while Ahmed is adjusting to Canadian culture.

Thanks again for your concern. We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job and care for our fellow man. Good luck and God bless you.

Cordially

Gordon O’Connor
Minister of National Defense

 

This one was sent in by the Whelpling and it just cracked me up!

Now, that’s a perfectly good explanation to me.

 

And this one is from buddy Wheats.  Who titles this, a Socialist is a Socialist

If you can’t read the sign, it says Bernie.

 

 

 

We’ll wrap up today’s issue with a fairy tale.  But, aye, not just any fairy tale.  ‘Tis the tale of the three little pigs, but mayhaps performed as M’Lord Shakespeare may have intoned. 

The big screen is still down this week when you enter the Conference Room.

On the screen is pretty much the same view as the last time though a few things have changed. There are now two cats nursing Lethal, one from the back of his chair, the other monitoring him from the arm of the chair barely discernable from under a portion of the blankets which cover what presumable must be Lethal given the Notre Dame cap on the head and the green leather and fleece slipper on the foot sneaking out from under the blankets.

The other difference is the message scrolling across the bottom of the screen…

“I’m slowly getting better but currently still too sick and its too cold here to travel. Antibiotics are helping, the swelling and inflammation are slowly going down, but they make me want to sleep and run a fever all the time. Plus Doctor wants my leg up 20 out of 24 hours a day.

Start the issue yourselves when you’re ready. Daimen or Ginny know how to do it. Catch you more hopefully next week. Don’t worry if I don’t respond to comments or emails right away, I’ve been spending minimal time online, about an hour or so every other day.”

Molly does, that is part of the reason I love her so. We have an arrangement, she brings me coffee and I bring here serious chocolate.

 

Imbloc (Candlemass, Imblog, Imbole) – February 2nd

 

Pronounced: EE-Molc

Incense: Rosemary, Frankincense, Myrrh, Cinnamon
Decorations: Corn Dolly, Besom, Spring Flowers
Colours: White, Orange, Red

 

 

This holiday is also known as Candlemas, or Brigid’s (pronounced BREED) Day. One of the 4 Celtic “Fire Festivals. Commemorates the changing of the Goddess from the Crone to the Maiden. Celebrates the first signs of Spring. Also called “Imbolc” (the old Celtic name).

This is the seasonal change where the first signs of spring and the return of the sun are noted, i.e. the first sprouting of leaves, the sprouting of the Crocus flowers etc. In other words, it is the festival commemorating the successful passing of winter and the beginning of the agricultural year. This Festival also marks the transition point of the threefold Goddess energies from those of Crone to Maiden.

It is the day that we celebrate the passing of Winter and make way for Spring. It is the day we honour the rebirth of the Sun and we may visualize the baby sun nursing from the Goddess’s breast. It is also a day of celebrating the Celtic Goddess Brigid. Brigid is the Goddess of Poetry, Healing, Smithcraft, and Midwifery. If you can make it with your hands, Brigid rules it. She is a triple Goddess, so we honour her in all her aspects. This is a time for communing with her, and tending the lighting of her sacred flame. At this time of year, Wiccans will light multiple candles, white for Brigid, for the god usually yellow or red, to remind us of the passing of winter and the entrance into spring, the time of the Sun. This is a good time for initiations, be they into covens or self-initiations.

Imbolc (February 2) marks the recovery of the Goddess after giving birth to the God. The lengthening periods of light awaken Her. The God is a young, lusty boy, but His power is felt in the longer days. The warmth fertilizes the Earth (the Goddess), and causes seeds to germinate and sprout. And so the earliest beginnings of Spring occur.

This is a Sabbat of purification after the shut-in life of Winter, through the renewing power of the Sun. It is also a festival of light and of fertility, once marked in Europe with huge blazes, torches and fire in every form. Fire here represents our own illumination and inspiration as much as light and warmth. Imbolc is also known as Feast of Torches, Oimelc, Lupercalia, Feast of Pan, Snowdrop Festival, Feast of the Waxing Light, Brighid’s Day, and probably by many other names. Some female Witches follow the old Scandinavian custom of wearing crowns of lit candles, but many more carry tapers during their invocations.

 

A mom texted her late son. You won’t believe who answered

Unless you’ve lost a child in the line of duty, you can’t imagine what this mom is going through. Her son was a state trooper who lost his life protecting the innocent. So when she texted his phone after he died, she never expected to get a reply, much less from someone who might actually understand.

 

 

Cream Cheese Swirled Banana Zucchini Bread

If there is anything you should know about Impish and my culinary predilections (aside from the fact we both like to cook and eat) its that we’re both gaga over Banana Bread. When I found this recipe I immediately shared it with Impish who in turn immediately volunteered to test drive it. Look for his comments on the recipe Saturday.

 

Prep time: 15 mins

Cook time: 50 mins

Total time: 1 hour 5 mins

 

 

 

Ingredients

• 1-1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• ½ teaspoon baking powder
• ½ teaspoon baking soda
• ½ teaspoon salt
• 1 egg
• 1 cup mashed ripe bananas
• ½ cup canola oil
• ½ teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 cup shredded zucchini
• Cream Cheese Swirl:
• 8 ounces cream cheese, softened
• ¼ cup sugar
• 1 egg
• ¼ cup flour

Instructions

1. Preheat over to 325 degrees. Grease and flour a 9×5 inch loaf pan. Set aside.
2. In a large mixing bowl, combine flour, sugar, cinnamon, baking powder, baking soda and salt. In another small bowl beat the egg, bananas, oil and vanilla extract. Stir into the dry ingredients until just moistened. Fold in zucchini. Pour half of the mixture into your 9×5 inch pan.
3. To make the cream cheese swirl: Beat together the cream cheese, sugar, egg and flour until smooth. Pour evenly over the bread. Top with remaining batter.
4. Bake for 50-60 minutes or until the top is golden brown. If the top starts to brown too fast, tent with foil at about 30 minutes. Allow bread to cool for about 15 minutes before cutting.

 

Slow Cooker Beef on Rice

Slow Cooker Beef on Rice – Savory beef and gravy slow cooked to tender perfection and served over rice!

 

Prep time: 5 mins

Cook time: 8 hours

Total time: 8 hours 5 mins

 

 

 

Ingredients

• 2 pounds beef chunks (aka: stew meat )
• 4 cups beef broth
• 1 onion, chopped
• 1 teaspoon Italian seasoning
• 2-3 teaspoons salt (or to taste)
• 1 teaspoon black pepper ( or to taste)
• ¼ cup cold water
• 3 tablespoons corn starch
• 4-6 cups cooked white or brown rice

Instructions

1. Add beef, broth, and chopped onions to slow cooker. Sprinkle with salt, pepper, and Italian seasoning.
2. Cover and cook on low for 8 hours or on high for 4 hours.
3. About 10-15 minutes before serving, Transfer slow cooker contents to a large stock pot and bring to a boil. Whisk together cold water and corn starch, add to pot, and stir until thickened. Serve over rice and sprinkle with chopped parsley if desired. Enjoy!

I add mushrooms to mine. Sometimes just white button or Crimini mushrooms. Other times I can get a package of mixed mushrooms from my produce guy.

Also I add a few splashes of Lea & Perrins Original Worcestershire Sauce or aged Balsamic Vinegar but never both at the same time.

Other liquids can be substituted for a portion of the broth (Beer, Guinness, or Red wine) though I would recommend making such substitution 1/2 cup at a time until you learn how it will effect the outcome’s overall taste.

This also goes well over (garlic) Mashed Potatoes, Polenta, Gnocchi or Biscuits

Parsley or snipped Chives should be used for garnish to brighten it up.

 

Huh, maybe the ‘chemical contrail’ conspiracy theorist have something after all! No, wait. My bad that’s just Shamrock One under full magical thrust!

Actually in reality its somewhere in between the first and the last panels. Though my clients DO seem to think I sit amid several million dollars of cutting edge computer gear just waiting for them to do something dumb.

Speaking of work….

Work happened for me today. I’m still chuckling over this one.

So I got a call from a Client complaining he can’t get to a website after I updated their security over the weekend. Well all that I updates as their antivirus definitions and the DNS host file used to block sites like Facebook, Porn sites and job hunting sites.

I show up at 8 AM and I’m conducted to one of the bigwigs offices (no name on the door) where I proceed to cool my heels for 20 minutes waiting for him to arrive. Hey no worries- I get paid by the half hour from the time I leave my house. He arrives all grumpy at me and brings me in side his office.

I ask him to demonstrate the problem to me while I watch. He types in a Celebrity’s name with the word ‘nude’ after it into the search bar and while I’m watching I see all these porn sites courtesy of his Google Auto-predict function. He clicks to go to the site and of course the DNS host file is blocking it because its porn. Nudecelebs .com.

I tell him its’ blocked because its’ Porn and that looking at Porn while at work is prohibited by the company and could get him fired. I also tell him that this is going to come to light when I have to turn my bill in. This guy looks blankly at me and says ‘but I’m the owner!’

I was damned near struck dumb. The best I could croak out was “Oh your the XXXXX behind XXXX Company. Nice to meet you. I can certainly remove that from your computer  for you then.”

He says ” Thanks. I really need something to keep me going through out the day…..”

I always thought stories like these we urban legends of the trade.

I’m also never shaking his hand again.

Freddy Fangs, one of the Ninja Kitties all dressed up and hard at work manning (catting?) the reception area in the lobby along with Tuesday.

Hmm…I wonder if Impish hears something along the lines of “Remember Dragon thou arte leaf and to leaf they shall return” on Ash Wednesday?