Dragon Laffs

Good Morning Campers,

Crappy night…grumble ….grumble

Little sleep … grumble … grumble

Need coffee … grumble … grumble

Go away … grumble … grumble … until then … grumble … grumble

Go laugh … grumble… grumble

Okay, you have … grumble … to watch this … grumble … it his hilarious … grumble … there are three … grumble … parts in all … grumble … one right after … grumble … the other.  Thanks … grumble … to Lynn for … grumble … sharing.

https://youtu.be/My5mFtF5ynE

Still not quite there yet, but getting there… grumble … thanks for bearing with me this morning.  I’m really sorry my dragon side is coming out a little bit more than normal right now.

 

We are living in a Bizarre World:

• If a dude pretends to be a woman, you are required to pretend with him.

• Somehow it’s un-American for the census to count how many Americans are in America.

• Russians influencing our elections are bad, but illegal Mexicans voting in our elections are good.

• It was cool for Joe Biden to “blackmail” the President of Ukraine, but it’s an impeachable offense if Donald Trump inquires about it.

• Twenty is too young to drink a beer, but eighteen is old enough to vote.  (And Carry a gun for our country)

• Sexualizing children is bad, but 11-year-old drag queens are good.

• Illegals aren’t required to show ID, but citizens can’t buy cough medicine without it.

• Citizens are fined if they don’t buy their own health insurance, and then they are forced to buy it for illegals.

• People who have never owned slaves should pay slavery reparations to people who have never been slaves.

• Inflammatory rhetoric is outrageous, but harassing people in restaurants is virtuous.

• People who have never been to college should pay the debts of college students who took out huge loans for useless degrees.

• Immigrants with tuberculosis and polio are welcome, but you’d better be able to prove your dog is vaccinated.

• Irish doctors and German engineers who want to immigrate must go through a rigorous vetting process, but any illiterate Central-American gang-banger who jumps the southern fence is welcome.

• $5 billion for border security is too expensive, but $1.5 trillion for “free” health care for illegals is not.

• If you cheat to get into college you go to prison, but if you cheat to get into the country you go to college for free.

• Politicians who say that the President is not above the law put illegal immigrants and themselves above the law.

• People who say there is no such thing as gender are demanding a female President.

• Illegals don’t pay taxes, but they get tax refunds.

• We see other countries going Socialist and collapsing, and it seems like a great plan to us.

• Voter suppression is bad, but not allowing the President to be on the ballot is good.

• Fourth-of-July parades are bad, but parades of women dressed as vaginas are good.

• Some people are held responsible for things that happened before they were born, and other people are not held responsible for what they are doing right now.

• Criminals are catch-and-released to hurt more people, but stopping them is bad because it’s a violation of THEIR rights.

* And pointing out all this hypocrisy somehow makes us “racists.”

  Okay, I feel much better now.

I’ve spent two weeks hanging out with myself and I am so sorry to every person I have ever spent time with

I’m so over being part of a major

historical event right about now.

My husband and I decided we don’t want to have children.

We will be telling them tonight at dinner.

It’s like being 16 again.

Gas is cheap and I’m grounded.

Oh, the look on his face is priceless…

I’m trying to eliminate negativity from my life.  Therefore Mondays are now “Taco Tuesday Eve” until further notice.

The Bozo Criminals for this morning come from the International File. From Warsaw, Poland come three Bozos who were also good samaritans. The Bozos broke into an apartment where they found a pregnant woman ready to give birth. Wanting to to the right thing, the thieves took the woman to the hospital. That was the good samaritan part. Now the Bozo part: The thieves then returned to the woman’s apartment to complete the burglary. The woman told the hospital staff how she got to the hospital and a quick thinking nurse called the police, who went to the apartment and caught the Bozos in the act.

Good Morning Campers,

Well, I’m off to see the … not the wizard, but the base.  I’ve got a meeting first thing this morning, should be an interesting trip.  First in-person meeting I’ve actually had since this whole thing has started.  I’m actually a bit excited about the whole thing.  I’ve got my best T-shirt and jeans on.  Yes, that is my normal work clothes.  Don’t hate.  LOL!

Let’s do some laughter now and we’ll do some more talking later.

“Sometimes, when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed.  Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I did not drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, it is better to drink this beer & let dreams come true, than be selfish & worry about my liver.”
Babe Ruth  

“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”  
Paul Horning  

“24 hours in a day and 24 beers in a case.     
Coincidence?  I think not!”  
H. L. Mencken  

“When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep.      
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. 
So, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven.”  
George Bernard Shaw  

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”  
Benjamin Franklin   I detect a theme running through all these comments, don’t you?

“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. 
Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, 
But the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”  
Dave Barry  
But then Pizza IS a wheel…And the really funny thing is, about all these comments….

“Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B.C.”  
W. C. Fields   They were all sent to me by the same, dear person …

“Remember ‘I’ before ‘E,’ except in Budweiser.” 
Professor Irwin Corey   My other Mom, Diaman!

“To some it is a six-pack. To me, it is a Support Group.  Salvation in a can.”  
Leo Durocher   Thanks, Mom!  Love ya!

 

One night at  Cheers,  a TV Sitcom, Cliff Clavin  said to his buddy, Norm Peterson: “Well, ya see, Normy, it’s like this . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo.  And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.  This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells.  But, naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.  In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers!”

That’s an excellent explanation to me!  Hey…I wonder if mom was trying to tell me something…

Act one: A fly in the crime scene.

Act two: Another fly collects DNA evidence.

Act three: The medical examiner fly performs an autopsy.

What’s the play called?

Forensic Flies.

Daughter got an “o” and an “e” mixed up

Now that stupid song is going to be stuck in my head for the rest of the day.

Okay, let’s look at the mail:

Hey! We got a letter from Dave at Accidental Fire!

Dave @ Accidental FIRE
accidentalfire.comx

Thanks for the highlight and no I’m not the suing type… I appreciate you using and citing my chart which did indeed go crazy-viral. I didn’t intend to create a popular meme, but turns out I did.

You have a funny site and humor is really important in life, especially now. Keep people laughing, it’s medicine!

Yes indeed it is Dave.  Thanks for the kind words and you have a great site yourself.  And for those of you who didn’t get a chance to go see it, go to https://accidentalfire.com/ and check it out!  It’s well worth the trip!

Larry S.

Keep the issues coming!. Went out to the base yesterday to get a wife a new ID card as hers expired.\. Couldn’t get it done as they have closed down. BUT, gate guard told us we can still use it for the Commissary, BX etc. and most importantly for us.. pick up all our meds. Wanted to let you know in case other military types on here can aware of this.

Hey Larry, thanks for the info.  Yup, I was aware of this, but it is worth mentioning to all the other vets out there.  Most of your FSS’s or CBPOs or whatever they are calling themselves these days are closed for redoing expired ID cards, but the bases are accepting the expired ID cards until all of this is over with.  But, just to be sure, you might check with whatever local installation you usually work out of, shop out of and they will have the best information.

Leah D

I suffer from a split personality every time I read about the oil prices. One side of me gets terribly excited about how much I will save with low gas prices. The other side dumps to depression, realizing I won’t get an oil royalties check.

But this time, I am very upset over the low oil prices (they did actually go into negative at one point yesterday). Quite a few members of my family work in oil related companies. They have been considered ‘Necessary’. Now they are worried about their hours being cut, perhaps lay-offs.

I always say there is good in everything, but my positive side is a bit tarnished, as now I have to say, “There is bad in everything too.”

Leah, why did I not even hesitate when I read that you suffer from a split personality.  It didn’t even make me pause for a second.  hmmm… I’m really sorry about you maybe not get an oil royalties check (gosh, did I sound sincere enough when I said that) seriously girl friend, you should have told us you were a rich oil tycoon type person!

Seriously, it is tough on the regular working-joe oil person right now.  Oil prices are sinking fast and liable to get worse before they get better.  With nobody going anywhere, it’s no wonder that demand has dropped way off.

Well, good news/bad news type thing.

Thanks to all of you who’ve written … remember, comments on the blog are great, but you can also write or send cartoons or jokes or just about anything to me at impishdragon@gmail.com I love hearing from you.  Feel free to just say hi.  Tell me where you are and I’ll even add you to the map!

Grandma and Great Aunt Judy are gonna sleep well tonight…after they make a run to the convenience store for some Doritos! 

That dog’s gonna get just a little bit bigger and become an outdoor dog, and then come next fall, we’re gonna be havin’ us some steaks.

I work with a guy and asked him for three of his…just exactly for that reason.  Heck, I’ll offer them to someone else if I see them in a fender-bender in the parking lot.

Now that’s a millennial if I ever saw one.

Hurmph!

Nice!

And that will do it again for me for today.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

Good Morning Campers,

So, it’s Monday for me, Tuesday for you and it’s the only bit of Time Travel that I’ll ever get to engage in.  So, while you guys are reading this, I’ll actually be out on the base, engaged in a real life, face to face meeting for the first time in a month.  Precautions and masks in place we will be discussing, amongst other things I’m sure, getting things back on track…just like the President … trying to open the country back up again.

There are many of us who believe it is too soon.  That we haven’t peaked yet, but … we shall see.  I’m not overly concerned for myself, I have an office I can go to, where I can be safe and secure, not significantly different than working here, except that I won’t be able to communicate with you guys daily, like I do now.  But, maybe you guys are ready to be free … or a little freer.  Maybe you are sick and tired of listening to me every day.

Nah, I didn’t think so, either.

Anyway, before we get started, I wanted to tell you a story of a guy who “gets” it.  I got a comment on the blog…

Dave @ Accidental FIRE
accidentalfire.comx

credit for the “relative important in 2020, so far” graph is on my blog

Okay, remember this little cartoon

We posted it several issues back, I don’t remember who even forwarded it to me, but apparently it’s Dave’s work and apparently it has gone CRAZY!  Like around the world CRAZY.  You guys all know that I don’t take any credit for the stuff that I post and that I try to give credit where credit is due and that I’ve pissed off a person or three and have had to go back into past issues and pull stuff down because I thought I was helping to pass stuff along and other people didn’t like that, even though I posted the links and all kinds of stuff and (gasp! Breath Impish!) and anyway I don’t THINK I’ve pissed Dave off, he hasn’t threatened to sue me.  He has a pretty cool website called Accidental Fire (https://accidentalfire.com/) with the subtitle of Financial Independence, Early Retirement, Outdoor Adventure, and Satire.

It’s the Satire Part we’re concerned with right now. 

I connected up with an article he wrote that is right here called “It’s Okay To Laugh” (https://accidentalfire.com/2020/04/14/its-okay-to-laugh/) and I thought, here’s a brother!  At least in this area, we are thinking in the same track.

So, I’m not going to spoil it for you, but we’re not going any further until you go read it.  Go on!  I’ll wait.  I’ve got plenty of coffee. 

……….
……….
……….
……….
………

   (Okay, so you add cream to your coffee, and I’ll add what I want!)

Wasn’t that a great article!   We are really happy for your success, Dave! And to another traveler on the road to humor (satire) as a healing tool and coping mechanism, cheers!

Now, moving on to other things….

Okay, I actually missed the date on this one, but it is still really funny…

Police department reminds residents to wear pants while checking mailbox

Come on people…at least pants are required to check your mail!  We haven’t fallen that far, have we?

Another good throat spray idea.  I personally haven’t tried this one, but plan on purchasing it and trying it out.  I will let you know.

She really has to go….

I got a quick note in email from Aussie Peter….

If you think Deception Bay is a cool name,

you are going to love this   !

The next suburb just north of Deception Bay is

BURPENGARY.      [  TRUE  !!!!!  ]

I’ve included another Aussie gag for you.

Keep smiling,   Peter.

Thanks Peter…. you cracked me up!

Okay, have you guys seen this?  People are saying that 5G is causing the Coronavirus?!  Or at least exacerbating it!  Or that 5G is killing people on it’s own?!  Seriously?  Can you believe this stupid shit?

And who is propagating it more than anyone else?  The Hollywood morons!  Why do people trust actors for anything other than entertainment?  Why do we trust sports figures on anything other than how to catch or hit a ball? 

Kim Komando wrote a really good article on it here: https://www.komando.com/kims-column/5g-coronavirus-conspiracy/735434/?utm_medium=nl&utm_source=column&utm_content=2020-04-19  called : The great 5G coronavirus conspiracy.  Check it out!

Oh crap!

Dr. Oz says rubbing coffee grounds on your naked body prevents cellulite.  APPARENTLY you can’t do it in Starbucks.
And now the cops are here…

Uh oh…. apparently I’ve been called out on my greed…

charcoal1951

Cute, as usual. But, if you were all over trying to find Cream of Chicken Soup and only needed two, but you took the last three, that wasn’t very nice, was it?

Dear Charcoal, nope … it wasn’t very nice.  And I feel bad.  And now I feel worse that you’ve called me out on it.  I’m ashamed of myself.  It was greedy and wrong.  Especially since I’ve chastised so many people right here for doing the exact same thing.  All I can say is …. I’ll try to do better.

Guess I’m only … human … or um … dragon….wait!  Dragon’s are supposed to be greedy!  Nah!  It was still wrong!

I thought I’d be trendy and try one of those “alternative milks”.  I don’t know what a magnesia is, but it made my cornflakes taste horrible!

We all know where the Big Apple is but does anyone know where the …

Minneapolis?

I joined a Group with Erectile Dysfunction.

It was a flop and nobody came.

Yup, deserved that one!

How about some more letters…

Leah D.

Even Utah people who are not of the faith, have become influenced by the ‘Mormon’ admonition to have a two year’s supply of food. I believe many of that church had failed to collect that much food. So when the hype hit, and the rush began they thought, “here it is, the reason we need a two year’s supply”. They weren’t buying for the week, or even the month, they were buying for two years worth!

A lot of people have shelves loaded with cans of dehydrated foods. I’m wondering if any of them have used any of that hoard? If nothing else, this food supply shortage has made it very clear, unless you are actually starving, no one eats different than they always do.

I agree, I don’t believe anyone is actually eating anything different than they have in the past, unless they are among the poor sods who are unemployed who are eating worse than they were before because they were working a job that doesn’t allow the “luxury” of unemployment money coming in now.  They are eating different now, they are eating worse.  Beans and rice and lots of pasta.  Those are the ones I feel sorry for.

I’ve seen many friends of Mrs. Dragon on social media who have put it out there that if anyone is hungry, to let someone know.  There is always room at the table for one more.  You don’t have to say so here, call me, text me … stuff like that.  And that is a true friend.  And I have always felt that way as well and I would think that any of my friends that live close enough to me would know that they could always reach out if they needed to.  I know several of you have mentioned to me that you have made food to bring to the local Fire Department and such and I wouldn’t expected anything less from my loyal campers and sadly, I’m afraid that most of us on here aren’t the ones who are hurting…or we probably wouldn’t be on here, now would we?

My household doesn’t have a lot…but we have enough…and that, praise God…is enough.

Helen

We live in a small town, so I call it grocery hunting, since most of the shelves are bare,oohoh

Yup, I understand completely Helen.  Northern Indiana is populated with nothing but small towns.  The little town where I live has a population of only 11,000 people.  That actually surprised me when I looked it up.  I didn’t think it was that many.  I’m sure many of you come from much smaller towns.    The next closest town is 850 people.  And our town is the county seat after all.  LOL.

“Hi Colonel… yeah…um…I’m gonna be late this morning.  No, I’m not sick.  But, um… there’s a minion blocking the road.  Yes, sir.  I said a minion.  Yes, sir, like on the kids movie.  Yes, sir.  I will report to the clinic for a urinalysis when I get to the base, first thing.  Yes sir.”

Yup, that’s EXACTLY how that conversation would go.

Free-Falling: U.S. Oil Drops Below $5 Per Barrel As Demand Disappears

OUCH!  Yeah, at the beginning of 2020 U.S. oil was selling for around $60 a barrel.  That’s a kick in the ass.  Not like they won’t recover.  But, WOW!

I think I had them as divorce lawyers.

I don’t think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks earlier this month we’d go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone.

What a year this week has been

People who ask me what I’m doing tomorrow probably assume that I even know what day of the week it is.

Whoever owes you money, go to there house now, they should be home.

Traffic is so much better without all you non-essentials on the road.

And that, dear friends, is it for today.  Remember, you can always reach me at impishdragon@gmail.com or by leaving a comment on the blog.  I love hearing from you and I don’t know if the quality of the issues have fallen off or if you guys have just gotten tired of talking to me, but the comments have fallen off lately.  But, be that as it may, you can’t get rid of me that easily, I’ll be around for a little while longer, so take care, until we meet again.  Love to you all.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

Good Morning Campers,

So, the days are beginning to blend into one another.  I took Izzy out this morning (Sunday) on a bit of a shopping spree… no, spree is not the right word.  Shopping “spree” insinuates fun…this was nothing like that.  We hit 5 stores in two hours, EARLY.  Got there right after the first one opened and timed them to hit them as they opened if possible.  Got in, got what we needed, no lolly-gagging, got out.  The shelves were full (for the most part) found everything on our list (eventually) and it was a highly successful mission.  My theory was that Sunday morning would be the best because even though Church goers wouldn’t be going to church, they would still be at home watching on line.  And the other people wouldn’t bother getting up that early.  And I was mostly correct.  We had most of the stores to ourselves.  It was a highly successful raid.

The one item we had the most trouble acquiring?  You are never going to believe this.  Didn’t get it till our third stop and then we got the last three on the shelf.  I only had two on the list, but when you see a shortage and you know you going to need it in the future, you take advantage of what’s in front of you…

I know, right?  Now, I’m not a grandma, but isn’t it the Cream of Mushroom that is used in all the casseroles?  And you know what?  There was a crap load of that!  You could have built a house of cans out of the cans of Cream of Mushroom Soup!  But, Cream of Chicken?  Nope, I got the last 3.  And I was just following orders.  Mrs. Dragon says bring home 2 cans of Cream of Chicken Soup, I bring home 2 cans of Cream of Chicken Soup.  She makes out VERY specific lists.  I can add to… but never, EVER subtract from…
And if I understand things correctly, it’s for a NEW recipe…you think I’m gonna be responsible for screwing THAT up.  Ain’t no way!

Well, enough about my adventures this morning.  What do you say we get some laughter in, huh?

The most gullible chemical element is easily lead.

So is macaroni and cheese “mac” because it’s short for macaroni … or is it because “mac” is an acronym for macaroni and cheese?

A new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.  I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

Bill was a bit embarrassed and told the doctor he had trouble getting an erection with his wife and she was getting frustrated.

The doc checked the man’s blood pressure and other vitals. Then after a thorough examination the doctor said he wanted to check with Bill’s wife.

He took her to another cubicle and asked her to disrobe. Then he told her to turn all the way around slowly.

She did as instructed. He then told her to raise her arms above her head, then bend over, touch her toes and cough. Finally he said, “Ok, good. You can get dressed now, and I will go talk to your husband”

The doctor went back to the other cubicle and said to the husband, “Well Bill, you can relax, there is nothing wrong with you.  I couldn’t get an erection either.

Stephanie got stuck in the International Foods Aisle … or website … or something… and she has a really sick sense of humor!

Stephanie, you are one sick pussy cat!

Thanks to John S for…

The Bozo Criminal for today comes from Lincoln, Nebraska where Bozo Clint Mangess tried to shoplift some shoes from an athletic shoe store. He grabbed the shoes and ran. When the clerk and the assistant manager took off after him, it soon became obvious that Clint had picked the wrong store to rob. He didn’t have a chance of escaping with these guys after him: the assistant manager is the captain of the University of Nebraska’s track team and the clerk is an Olympic class marathoner.

Yeah, probably not the best store to rob you moron

Awesome reference for you older hipsters……

If you’re down by the school yard, steer clear of Rosie.  She’s the queen of Corona!

And I can almost FEEL the blank stares!!!

Most useless purchase of 2019: A 2020 planner.

That is pretty fucking confident!

I want to share this with you in all seriousness.  This goes along with something my lovely wife has been saying, lately.  We’ve been watching TV at night and keeping seeing all these TV stars and the local Indiana News Anchors and weather people and sports figures and such saying things like, “We’re all in this together” and “We’ll all make it together” and stuff like that.  And she keeps saying, “No we’re not! She and I both have so many friends and family members who are struggling through this.  And we’re not doing badly, but these idiots on TV saying “We’re all in this together” and then go home to their milti-million dollar homes being waited on hand and foot, not missing out on anything or worried about anything, how the fuck are they in this together with any of us?  And then I got this from Leah, and it goes a long way to explaining what I’m trying to say:

WE ARE NOT IN THE SAME BOAT …
I heard that we are all in the same boat, but it’s not like that. We are in the same storm, but not in the same boat. Your ship could be shipwrecked and mine might not be. Or vice versa.

For some, quarantine is optimal. A moment of reflection, of re-connection, easy in flip flops, with a cocktail or coffee. For others, this is a desperate financial & family crisis.

For some that live alone they’re facing endless loneliness. While for others it is peace, rest & time with their mother, father, sons & daughters.

With the $600 weekly increase in unemployment some are bringing in more money to their households than they were when they were working. Others are working more hours for less money due to pay cuts or loss in sales.

Some families of 4 just received $3400 from the stimulus while other families of 4 saw $0.

Some were concerned about getting a certain candy for Easter while others were concerned if there would be enough bread, milk and eggs for the weekend.

Some want to go back to work because they don’t qualify for unemployment and are running out of money. Others want to kill those who break the quarantine.

Some are home spending 2-3 hours/day helping their child with online schooling while others are spending 2-3 hours/day to educate their children on top of a 10-12 hour workday.

Some have experienced the near death of the virus, some have already lost someone from it and some are not sure if their loved ones are going to make it. Others don’t believe this is a big deal.

Some have faith in God and expect miracles during this 2020. Others say the worst is yet to come.

So, friends, we are not in the same boat. We are going through a time when our perceptions and needs are completely different.

Each of us will emerge, in our own way, from this storm. It is very important to see beyond what is seen at first glance. Not just looking, actually seeing.

We are all on different ships during this storm experiencing a very different journey.

~ Unknown author

Some of us have harder paths to follow, harder storms to sail through , than others.  Don’t assume you have the worst of it.  (And don’t condescend to me from your mansion, either all you fucking politicians, Hollywood bullshit nobodies, and Oprah!)  Okay, I’m done.

The dung beetle walked into the bar and asked, “Is this stool taken?”.

That is fucking evil looking!!!!

And that’s it for today.  I need to get some chores done and can’t do that if I’m sitting behind this laptop.  So, until tomorrow.  You guys be well and enjoy yourselves.  Love to you all!

Cheers!

Impish Dragon!

Good Morning Campers,

It’s a lazy Sunday morning…relaxing…TV watching … nothing to do.  I know, I’m actually writing this on Saturday, but I’m trying to get in the mood here.  LOL!  Got a message down of Friday, which was last night for me, that said that our government laptops had to be put on the government LAN lines every couple of weeks in order to get the updates needed, plus if the computers aren’t put on the LAN lines every 60 days, they will be disconnected and won’t work at all.  So, they have to be connected and left overnight when the updates are installed, so I figured, taking it in on Friday and leaving it go until Saturday or even (gasp!) Sunday would be the easiest thing to do.  But, right now it’s 9:45 Saturday morning and I’m getting e-mail messages on my government cell phone, that are “difficult” to read on a tiny cell phone screen, so the desire to run out to the base … on my day off, mind you … and pick up my laptop and get back to work are almost overwhelming.

It’s like yesterday.  I took 8 hours of vacation time that I was going to use if I didn’t use … and probably worked 4 hours anyway.  I’m too ate up, as we used to say.  LOL!

Nah!

I like my job.  And it’s not like I’m busting my ass right now, it’s like I told someone the other day, it’s like hours of boredom, punctuated with moments of pure insanity.  Most weekends I put in a couple of hours…and I usually take credit for those hours. 

I work what’s called a maxi-flex schedule, which basically means as long as I put in 80 hours in 2 weeks, I’m covered.  I can work around doctor’s appointments and not have to take vacation or sick time, but at the same time, when I have to work the weekends for the Reservists, I don’t get to claim overtime until the very end of the pay period and then ONLY if I can’t get the time off … which should be never.

So, overall, I’m comfortable thinking that I give more to the government and I don’t take advantage and if I need to run out to the store in the middle of the day, I can.  So, it works out really nice.  So yeah, I’ll probably take a break from sitting here with you guys and watching TV, to run out to the base today, on my day off, grab my laptop and put in a couple of free hours for Uncle Sam doing my job…but like I said…I happen to be one of the few who actually LIKE my job.

So, now that I’ve sat here and rambled about nothing for far too long…why don’t we do something else for a little while like … oh … I don’t know …

 

The first rule of teleconferencing goes for selfies… know your background!

 

Okay, let’s talk about something important, real quick…cause I’ve already gotten something very similar to this one personally…

Police department warns public to not click links in scam COVID-19 text messages

April 16, 2020 at 12:24 PM EDT – Updated April 17 at 5:50 PM

THOMASTON, Maine (Gray News) – A police department in Maine is alerting cell phone users of a text message scam involving COVID-19.

The Thomaston Police Department posted on its Facebook page a photo of a text message sent from an Indiana area code telling someone they need to self-isolate because they came in contact with someone with the virus.

Officers are asking the public to not click on the link if they get this text message, as it is not a message from an official agency.

Police warn this could be a phishing scam that attempts to get personal information from unsuspecting victims.

“The virus is not the only invisible enemy,” the department wrote in the Facebook post. “Be vigilant against all threats!”

The Better Business Bureau is also alerting people about text messages that claim to be from a governmental agency trying to get you to click a link to take an “online coronavirus test.” Consumer advocates say this is a way to get malware downloaded on your electronic devices.

No one official is going to send you a bloody text message, with a link in it, to tell you that you’ve been exposed to COVID-19.  Let’s go even further and say that no government agency is EVER going to send you a text message with a link in it.  EVER.  It’s a scare tactic.  You’ve got the virus!  I don’t think I do, but maybe I better click on this to be sure.  People are assholes.  They take advantage of situations like this to steal your money.  Ultimately that’s what it comes down to.  They get the information off your phone, get your passwords, take control, but ultimately, they want your money.  Because in the very broad sense, people are assholes.  It’s only in the very individual sense, like you guys, that people are any good.  People as individuals are good, people as a group, suck.

The longer this goes on, the harder it will be to return to a society where pants and bras are required.

Boy, ain’t that the friggin’ truth.

How many boxes of these Thin Mints do I have to eat before I start seeing results?

Person: What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done?

Me: Awfully bold of you to assume I’ve peaked.

Don’t let anyone tell you you’re worthless.

Your organs are expensive on the black market.

With South Africa in lockdown, the lions are taking it very easy

(CNN) — Whether it’s goats in Wales or wild boar in Italy, animals around the world appear to be adjusting well to life without humans during the coronavirus outbreak.

Even lions are enjoying the peace and quiet, a set of new photos from South Africa‘s Kruger National Park shows.

The images show a pride of lions lounging on a road, seemingly unperturbed by the presence of the photographer, park ranger Richard Sowry.

Read more here:    https://www.cnn.com/travel/article/lions-kruger-lockdown-scli-intl/index.html

A note from Mom:

Diaman M

Dear Dragon.

Day 25…I love it…just like the old days…

Dragon Laughs every day…how wonderful!!!

Diaman

Yup, it used to be that way….back in the olden days….don’t know how I found the time.  Not sure how I’m finding the time, now.  LOL!  But, it’s a labor of love.

They are talking about plans for opening the country back up again…leaving it up to the Governors of each state.  For the economy.  Talking about putting kids back in school and that we could expect about a 2 to 3% mortality rate and how that is “acceptable”.  (It’s acceptable to kill 2-3% of our kids?)  Okay, so there are 727 kids enrolled in our local High School.  And let’s take an average of 2 1/2% … so who gets to pick out which 18 kids get to die?
How is this acceptable?
To help our economy?
Our we really ready to start sacrificing our citizens to the almighty dollar?
And maybe I’m speaking from a position of power because I have a job and food and a safe place to live and all that and I know there are a bunch of people out there who don’t have that, but seriously?

You can count me in on that group

Okay, almost every woman I’ve spoken to about this calls bullshit!  That they would not get rid of this guy.

I’m not sure you’re getting the concept correct.

Talk about a litigious society!!!

She is the first one who needs to go.

You have no idea how many different pictures I’ve gotten of these bacon masks…and yeah…I’d use them.

That should really make you think.  Especially those of you who keep voting for those liars and thieves like Pelosi!!

And that should tell you everything you need to know about CNN.

And that’s all I have for today.  I never did go out to the base.  Guess I’m going out tomorrow.  I HAVE to go out tomorrow, cause I’ll need my computer for Monday.  Hope you have a wonderful day.

Love you all.

Until we meet again.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon