Dragon Laffs #1712–Day 29


Header1709

Wednesday3

Good Morning Campers,

Well, I’m off to see the … not the wizard, but the base.  I’ve got a meeting first thing this morning, should be an interesting trip.  First in-person meeting I’ve actually had since this whole thing has started.  I’m actually a bit excited about the whole thing.  I’ve got my best T-shirt and jeans on.  Yes, that is my normal work clothes.  Don’t hate.  LOL!

Let’s do some laughter now and we’ll do some more talking later.

994

“Sometimes, when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed.  Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I did not drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, it is better to drink this beer & let dreams come true, than be selfish & worry about my liver.”
Babe Ruth  

995

“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”  
Paul Horning  

996

“24 hours in a day and 24 beers in a case.     
Coincidence?  I think not!”
  
H. L. Mencken  

997

“When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep.      
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. 

So, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven.”  
George Bernard Shaw  

998

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”  
Benjamin Franklin   I detect a theme running through all these comments, don’t you?

999

“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. 
Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, 
But the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”  
Dave Barry
  
But then Pizza IS a wheel…And the really funny thing is, about all these comments….

1000

“Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B.C.”  
W. C. Fields   They were all sent to me by the same, dear person …

1001

“Remember ‘I’ before ‘E,’ except in Budweiser.” 
Professor Irwin Corey   My other Mom, Diaman!

1002

“To some it is a six-pack. To me, it is a Support Group.  Salvation in a can.”  
Leo Durocher   Thanks, Mom!  Love ya!


1003

 

One night at  Cheers,  a TV Sitcom, Cliff Clavin  said to his buddy, Norm Peterson: “Well, ya see, Normy, it’s like this . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo.  And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.  This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells.  But, naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.  In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers!”

That’s an excellent explanation to me!  Hey…I wonder if mom was trying to tell me something…

1004

Act one: A fly in the crime scene.

Act two: Another fly collects DNA evidence.

Act three: The medical examiner fly performs an autopsy.

What’s the play called?

Forensic Flies.

400

Daughter got an “o” and an “e” mixed up
401

Motivational2

Embaressment

Emo Bunny

Emo Cows

Emotional_Turmoil

Encouragement

End_of_Days

endings

Energy Drink (2)

Engine Servicing

English

Enthusiasm

Entitlement

envy

402

403

Now that stupid song is going to be stuck in my head for the rest of the day.

Okay, let’s look at the mail:

3c

Hey! We got a letter from Dave at Accidental Fire!

Dave @ Accidental FIRE
accidentalfire.comx

Thanks for the highlight and no I’m not the suing type… I appreciate you using and citing my chart which did indeed go crazy-viral. I didn’t intend to create a popular meme, but turns out I did.

You have a funny site and humor is really important in life, especially now. Keep people laughing, it’s medicine!

Yes indeed it is Dave.  Thanks for the kind words and you have a great site yourself.  And for those of you who didn’t get a chance to go see it, go to https://accidentalfire.com/ and check it out!  It’s well worth the trip!

Larry S.

Keep the issues coming!. Went out to the base yesterday to get a wife a new ID card as hers expired.\. Couldn’t get it done as they have closed down. BUT, gate guard told us we can still use it for the Commissary, BX etc. and most importantly for us.. pick up all our meds. Wanted to let you know in case other military types on here can aware of this.

Hey Larry, thanks for the info.  Yup, I was aware of this, but it is worth mentioning to all the other vets out there.  Most of your FSS’s or CBPOs or whatever they are calling themselves these days are closed for redoing expired ID cards, but the bases are accepting the expired ID cards until all of this is over with.  But, just to be sure, you might check with whatever local installation you usually work out of, shop out of and they will have the best information.

Leah D

I suffer from a split personality every time I read about the oil prices. One side of me gets terribly excited about how much I will save with low gas prices. The other side dumps to depression, realizing I won’t get an oil royalties check.

But this time, I am very upset over the low oil prices (they did actually go into negative at one point yesterday). Quite a few members of my family work in oil related companies. They have been considered ‘Necessary’. Now they are worried about their hours being cut, perhaps lay-offs.

I always say there is good in everything, but my positive side is a bit tarnished, as now I have to say, “There is bad in everything too.”

Leah, why did I not even hesitate when I read that you suffer from a split personality.  It didn’t even make me pause for a second.  hmmm… I’m really sorry about you maybe not get an oil royalties check (gosh, did I sound sincere enough when I said that) seriously girl friend, you should have told us you were a rich oil tycoon type person!

Seriously, it is tough on the regular working-joe oil person right now.  Oil prices are sinking fast and liable to get worse before they get better.  With nobody going anywhere, it’s no wonder that demand has dropped way off.

Well, good news/bad news type thing.

Thanks to all of you who’ve written … remember, comments on the blog are great, but you can also write or send cartoons or jokes or just about anything to me at impishdragon@gmail.com I love hearing from you.  Feel free to just say hi.  Tell me where you are and I’ll even add you to the map!

1005

1006

Grandma and Great Aunt Judy are gonna sleep well tonight…after they make a run to the convenience store for some Doritos! 

1007

That dog’s gonna get just a little bit bigger and become an outdoor dog, and then come next fall, we’re gonna be havin’ us some steaks.

1008

I work with a guy and asked him for three of his…just exactly for that reason.  Heck, I’ll offer them to someone else if I see them in a fender-bender in the parking lot.

1009

Now that’s a millennial if I ever saw one.

1010

Hurmph!

1011

Nice!

And that will do it again for me for today.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

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