Dragon Laffs

Good Morning Campers,

Wicked assed storms last night.  Tornadoes in and around the area.  Roofs torn off homes in the towns where family lives, but all of my friends and family are accounted for and fine.  There are still many, many people in Indiana without power, so say a little prayer for the people suffering from the storms from last night.  I can understand how it happened.  It was almost 80 degrees around here yesterday and right now it hasn’t even hit 40.  That’s a pretty big drop in temperature and that’s a sure way to bring on the storms.  A nice big cold front moves in against a solid warm front and wham-o. 

In other news, our dear friend Bernie Sanders dropped out of the race…not sure if I mentioned that yesterday or not.  That pretty much leaves Little ole Pedophile Biden … um … I mean … Joe Biden to go up against President Trump.  I don’t like his chances.  I truly don’t.  You know, they’ll probably throw Hillary in as his running mate, just to give him a chance.

Today, I’m very busy for the Air Force, so I’m not sure how much of an issue I’ll actually get out.  By this time of the day I’ve usually gotten half an issue done up and I’ve only gotten started.  To give you an idea, I’m already into my third cup of coffee.  Yup, that’s why I sound so lucid right now.  It’s amazing, isn’t it.

I’m currently waiting for the Indiana Coronavirus numbers to update… it ought to be any second now.  It normally happens around this time, every day.  I keep track and graph them out, kind of part of my job, and I’m hoping that one of these days soon I’ll start to see the curve flatten out a bit, then I’ll know we’re at least making some progress.  So far, all it’s been is a sharp incline.

Anyway, while I wait, why don’t we laugh a little, shall we?

I’m not sure if I used this one yesterday or not, because it looks familiar to me, but then again, I’m old and a lot of this is beginning to look familiar to me, and I’m not sure this is really gonna work, but hey, it’s a plan, and it’s good to have a plan.

For this next one, Leah assures me that if you’re in Utah, these are all good gauges to use to measure good social distancing…

Medical update

The American Medical Association has weighed in on Trump’s Corona strategy: The Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve. Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception, while the Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted. Pathologists yelled, “Over my dead body!” while the Pediatricians said, “Oh, grow up!” The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it. Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and the Internists claimed it would indeed be a bitter pill to swallow. The Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would “put a whole new face on the matter.” The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea. Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and those lofty Cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no. In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in Washington.

Parents across the South are trying to homeschool their kids while in quarantine, and it’s a lot like herdin’ cats — except harder because there’s math involved.

Then there are the parents who are 100 percent winging it. Recess? Walk the dog. Literature? Read a sign while you’re walking the dog. History? Watch “Ice Road Truckers”. Math? Count out how many Little Debbies there are in a box, and then never go near that box again.

So, maybe a slight …. slight down turn in our numbers…I’ll guess we’ll see over the next couple of days.  Might be an anomaly or might just be wishful thinking on my part.  We’ll see.

Amen!  I say we get rid of each and every one of them and start over again.  Maybe we can get a couple of them that are more concerned with our wellbeing than putting money that they didn’t earn in their own pockets!

MINE, TOO!!!

My goodness, been running my little blue ass off today with work… not much else to say and no communications from you guys, so on with the laughter..

Aww, hell no!

I’m really beginning to hate that damn dog.

That’s a pretty good cat!

And still maintaining his social distancing.

I’ll bet there’s bunches of you out there who have no idea who this is!!!

My poor Baileigh is getting that way.  I’m afraid she’s not going to make it through this lock down and I don’t know what I’m going to do with her if she doesn’t.  Hell, I don’t know what I’m going to do with us if she doesn’t.  She’s an old girl.  About 14 now. 

We won’t ever be frightened enough to eat tofu…at least not in this household!

No kidding!  I looked at the extended forecast and they are calling for freezing precipitation!  Are you out of your ever-loving mind!!!!

Does not surprise me at all!

When you can see what you’ll look like in the future…

Yup, it’s another one of those references that the young ones aren’t gonna get.

Well played, wife!  Well played.

Yup I pretty much agree with that graph…except maybe the sweatpants.  I still like my jeans.

And with that terrible hyperbole I’m going to call it a day. I’m sorry there wasn’t more today, but it’s been one of those days.  Let’s all hope for a better day tomorrow.  Love to you all, stay inside, stay safe, stay healthy, and we’ll all get through this together.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

Good Morning Campers,

Issue #1700!  Holy Cow!  1700 issues.  I can’t believe it.  That’s a lot of crap from me.  And today I’m taking a lot of crap from my tech.  It’s still early and I’ve been kicked off line 4 times already.  And it’s because more and more people are working from home.  Teleworking.  Right now my Air Force VPN says: “Waiting to connect…” isn’t that comforting.  And with a little troubleshooting, it turns out that it’s me that is off line.  Nice.

My frustration level is rising…

Need coffee!!

I liked this one, so I’ll use it again:

So, anyway….Wednesday morning…the middle of the week.  Things are humming along nicely.  So, let’s get in there and get some laughing started, shall we?

I’m not saying this will work, but …

I promised myself I’d do things differently today, so I’m sitting at the other end of the couch.

I imagine by now that a lot of husbands are ready to build that she shed.

Nope!

A teardrop tattoo means you killed someone in prison.  A toilet paper tattoo means you killed someone in Costco.

And I just read another article this morning with the headline to the effect Politicians Scramble To Get Their Desires Fulfilled In Next Relief Package
We need term limits in a BAD WAY!!!

THIS JUST IN:
King Felipe VI quarantined to his jet.  Madrid news reports the reign of Spain is staying mainly on the plane.

Amazing how there have been 0 mass shootings.  All the ammo and guns being bought and not a one.  Almost like guns are not the problem.

Stay at home.  Stay safe.  But, I gotta tell you.  There’s gonna be problems when people try to go into other people’s homes without permission.  There’s been a LOT of guns and ammo bought.  And why do you think that is?  It is kind of surprising to me that we haven’t heard of more shootings and robberies and such around the country.  I’m not talking about here in fly-over country.  But, it’s gotta be getting tough in New York City and places like that.  Any readers out there from the big city?

It seems as though James is making good on some of the good ideas we’ve published here in Dragon Laffs.  I got a great email from him this morning!

Goodday Sir Dragon,

I am sure you are aware of the awesome bargaining chips we have, in seemingly innocent items one may find around the house.

I ran an advert in the local newspaper that is causing a lot of response. If memory serves me correct, I saw this on one of your mailouts a while ago. “ a roll of 2 ply toilet paper, and a 1/2 full bottle of hand sanitizer, trade for a ’69 Camaro.”

The phone is ringing off the hook

Thanks for the idea.

Hope all is well at your end, and that we will see you back at your regular position very shortly.

Your eternally grateful neighbor to the north, James.

I’m glad that the idea is working out well for you James!  I’m trying to work the same scheme here for a 67 Plymouth Barracuda.  That was the first car I ever owned and I’d love to get another!  I’m even willing to throw in a 2nd roll of 2 ply!

I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: “Don’t go in there!  Don’t go in the church, you moron!”

She’s watching our wedding video again.

I noticed my wife and kids were wearing vests so I put one on just so I could say “vest day ever” like a million times.  Then I took it off just so I could mention that I wasn’t as invested as they were.

Dentist: Open up please

Me: Sometimes I get a little sad

The only person that calls and checks on me everyday is the guy from India who wants to discuss my car warranty.

Is he still calling?  My India guy stopped checking on me… I’m worried about him…

Me [getting a small paper cut]: well so much for going to the gym this week

Nah!  Nah!  You can’t hit me! HEY!  Watch that thing!  It’s pointy!

Now THAT’s a personalized mask!

Let’s go to some mail….

This one is from James C.

James Churchill

PS count me in on the secret mission to go in and check on Peter.

Alright, our first volunteer!  Here’s your kit, we’re still waiting on Santa, but I did hear from his head elf.  He said he’d pass the message along.  Mrs. Claus replied to my message and said there is no way in hell she’d let Santa go back to Deception Bay … so it sounds like the trip is a go! 

Leah D.

I just want to say, Hello Everybody! Except for Climate Change, there hasn’t been anything everyone in our world has shared before COVID 19. It gives me such a family feeling when we are all united by the issues of Dragon Laffs.

Oh, Leah, don’t get me started on Climate Change.  I really don’t need to drag that soap box out right now.  But I’m glad to hear that you feel we are all being united by Dragon Laffs.  It makes my heart swell with pride.  Truly.  Thanks, luv.

Cheers!

The next time you hear anyone making a snide remark about truckers, just remember that right now the truckers of this nation are basically the cavalry bring meds and supplies to those who need it.  This world runs on more than college degrees.

My son is a truck driver and he is currently working long hours and is lucky to get one day off a week.  I’m scared to death for him and his wife and my three grandkids.  He goes out every day and I know that he knows how to take care of himself and stay away from other people, but the stories he tells me about how stupid other people are and how he has to deal with them sends a shiver down my spine.  When you hit your knees and drop a prayer, when you get done with the first responders and doctors and nurses and such, throw a couple out there for those cavalry drivers bringing all that stuff from place to place that we need.

If the schools are closed much longer, parents will find a vaccine before the scientists

I wonder if you throw a roll of toilet paper out in the middle of a Wal-Mart parking lot if people would fight over it like seagulls fighting over French fries.

Famous last words

Something the “fashion” industry doesn’t seem to understand

And I wonder how many of you actually get that joke….

Sounds like my house, except substitute all those shows with those murdery ones on the ID channel

Nice logos… and I know that McDonalds actually spent money to move some of their golden arches apart at some of their locations … I wonder though, how much money they’ve spent actually taken care of their employees that they’ve had to layoff.

And that, dear friends, is it for me for today!  I hope you got a smile out of my offerings for the day!  And until we meet again tomorrow, be well, be safe, stay home, wash your hands!

Love to you all!

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

Good Morning Campers,

Do I have to get up?  I don’t want to get up!  I’m still tired!  I want to stay in bed!  Can’t I sleep just a little longer?  Please…. PLEASE!!!!

Dammit!  Alright!  But, I’m not happy (or any of those other dwarves or goblins or orcs or even hobgoblins) and you’re NOT going to … oh look, coffee…

So again…Tuesday…

I’ve been out on the base most of the day today and I’ve ignored you guys…. I feel so… bad.  Okay, not that bad.  It is my job, after all.  So let’s spend a little time here and put some laughter out there and then I’ll get back to what I’m supposed to be doing for my real job…

I know, I can hear some of you out there.. THIS IS your real job!  Keeping us entertained!  But, it’s not really, it may be my FAVORITE job, but it’s not the one that pays the bills.  Sorry, guys.

Okay, before I go ANY further, I want to offer an apology, but I have to put this email in here first:

Hello impish I am going stir crazy. I am in southern Louisiana and the doctors keep saying that we have no virus’s here. I am also the Commander of our American Legion post and it is hard to have meetings.so far for the month of April we have had to cancel three different meetings. But I guess that’s life. Hang in there it will get better. LOVE YOUR POSTS

Hey Tommy V!  Here’s my apology!  Your email went to my junk folder for some reason (I’ve now rectified that so it shouldn’t happen again).  I usually check my junk folder daily, but for some reason it’s been sitting there for 4 days and I missed it!  I’m really sorry that you’re going stir crazy there in southern Louisiana, but keep your chin up brother!  As the Commander of your American Legion Post, I don’t need to tell you what an awesome responsibility you have to your members to set the example.  I’m glad you like the posts I’ve been sending out.  Turn your other Post members on to Dragon Laffs and share the wealth!  Thanks for writhing and you’ve been added to the map brother!

Cheers!  Impish Dragon!

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!  Things are going poorly for our good friend Peter in Deception Bay (SUCH a cool name)… it sounds like he’s starting to come a bit unglued.  We might have to send a rescue team down under.

Just be careful because people are going crazy from being in lock down! 

Actually I’ve just been talking about this with the microwave and toaster while drinking coffee and all of us agreed that things are getting bad. 

I didn’t mention anything to the washing machine as she puts a different spin on everything.

Certainly not to the fridge as he is acting cold and distant. In the end the iron calmed me down as she said everything will be fine, no situation is too pressing. 

The vacuum was very unsympathetic… told me to just suck it up, but the fan was more optimistic and hoped it would all soon blow over!

The toilet looked a bit flushed when I asked its opinion and didn’t say anything but the door knob told me to get a grip.

The front door said I was unhinged and so the curtains told me to ……..yes, you guessed it …..pull myself together. 

Okay, I’m looking for volunteers to join me in an expedition to travel to check on Peter.  I think I can talk Santa into giving us a lift, if he’s still not pissed off at me… any takers?

I’ve started investing in stocks.  Beef, chicken, and vegetable.
One day I hope to be a bouillonaire.

So, I figure today, you’ll just get the mail, as I read the mail, so here’s an update from our buddy Tom in Oregon:

Hi Mr. Dragon, Sill alive and well here in Oregon. We are the only state other than New Jersey where self service gas is against the law. The governor has lifted the ban on self service because of the virus and now we can pump our own gas. Now, instead of just one attendant handling the pump handles, there will be hundreds of people touching them. What a great way to spread a virus!

There are two large parks in our capital where a lot of homeless people stay. Both parks had hot and cold water, flush toilets, showers and drinking water. Now, the geniuses in government have locked the restrooms and turned off all the water to protect the homeless from the virus. They have placed portable outhouses and drinking water in reusable barrels for them. Ain’t that nice?

I guess what bothers me most is hearing people complain all the time about idiot politicians in this state. Then the ones who complain the most, go right back and elect those same idiots year after year.

Okay, enough ranting. Here are a couple of fun pictures for you.

Tom

Robert Heinlein once said, “Never underestimate the power of human stupidity” and to me, that is never demonstrated more succinctly than in human politics.  Yeah, I know, what you are seeing makes no real sense and as an Emergency Manager I have no logical explanation for what they are trying to do.  But, please, feel free to send my your rants any time!

And remember all of you, I can be reached at impishdragon@gmail.com or by leaving a comment on the blog.

Remember wishing the weekend would last forever?

Happy now?!?!

I’m so bored, I went outside to knock on my own door then came back in and said, “Who is it?”

I am definitely getting one of these!

If they had just called it “The Stay At Home Challenge” and posted it on Facebook, the virus would be gone by now.

Gonna ask my momma if that offer to slap me into next year is still on the table.

Yeah, like they haven’t seen that before!

Anyone else starting to get a tan from the light in your refrigerator?

Being married is just saying, “What do you want for dinner?” back and forth until one of you is dead.

Boy, ain’t that the truth.

From Papa Dragon Most Senior

An Irishman’s first drink with his  son While reading an article  last night about fathers and sons, memories came flooding back to the time I  took me son out for his first pint. Off we went to our local  pub only two blocks from the cottage. I got him a  Guinness.  He didn’t like it, so I drank  it. Then I got him a  Kilkenny’s, he didn’t like that either, so I drank it. Finally, I thought he  might like some Harp Lager? He didn’t.  I drank  it. I thought maybe he’d  like whisky better than beer so we tried a Jameson’s; nope!   In desperation, I had  him try that rare Redbreast, Ireland’s finest  whisky. He wouldn’t even smell  it. What could I do but  drink it! By the time I realized  he just didn’t like to drink, I was so shit-faced I could hardly push his  stroller back home!!!

Another old joke that if you didn’t see the Saturday Night Live episode you probably don’t get it, but if you Google it, you can probably still find it on YouTube…you youngster you!

Counts as boobs

Need I say it?

And another from Papa Dragon Most Senior

Irish  Confession I went into the  confessional box after many years of being away from the Catholic Church.  Inside  I found a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap.  On one wall, there was  a row of decanters with fine Irish whiskey and Waterford crystal  glasses. On the other wall was a  dazzling array of the finest cigars and  chocolates. When the priest came  in, I said to him, “Father, forgive me, for it’s been a very long time since  I’ve been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is  much more inviting than it used to be.” He replied, “You  moron, you’re on my side.”

Some Light Dublin  Traffic Humor A car full of Irish  nuns are sitting at a traffic light in downtown Dublin when a bunch of rowdy  drunks pull up alongside of them. “Hey, show us yer  teets, ya bloody penguins.” shouts one of the  drunks. Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculata and says,  “I don’t think they know who we are; show them your  cross.” Sister Mary Immaculata  rolls down her window and shouts, “Piss off, ya fookin’ little wankers,  before I come over there and rip yer balls off.”  She then rolls up her  window, looks back at Mother Superior quite innocently, and asks, “Did that  sound cross enough?”

Mick says to Paddy:  “Close your curtains the next time you’re shagging your wife. The whole  street was watching and laughing at you  yesterday.”

Paddy says: “Well  the joke’s on them stupid bastards, because I wasn’t even home  yesterday.”

Paddy’s  in jail. The Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his  feet. “What the hell you  doing?” he  asks. “Hanging  myself”, Paddy  replies. “It should be around  your neck”, says the  Guard.

“I  know”, says Paddy, “but I  couldn’t breathe.”

Dating apps?  No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog…. we laughed a lot.

Quarantine Day 15: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.

Okay, now on to the comments from today…

nogardcimsioc

G’Day, Impish :-). Yup, that was the site I was referring to west of Kokomo. Just needed to drag the image a tad more south to see what looked to me like the skull’s teeth (from 10000ft). I also noticed that I spelled CosmicDragon backwards wrongly. Sorry about that.

You Da Man.

Donnie

Thanks Donnie, and Yeah, I noticed I didn’t cut enough of that picture when I posted it…but we’re both trackin’ on the same page.

And I was wondering what the hell nogardcimsioc was!  LOL!

Cheers brother!

Bill

We live in a rural area 75 miles north of Toronto, Ontario, Canada. The owner of a local driving school had to close operations because of the pandemic. He now shops and delivers food for seniors in the area at no charge. This man is a lifesaver for us. There should be more people like Rick Elliot in this world.

And you Bill, just gave Rick Elliot a mention here on Dragon Laffs!!! I’m not sure what a big deal that really is, but to all of us, that’s a big deal!!  So, here’s to you Rick Elliot!  Nice job brother!  And Bill, we’ll be adding you to our map!  Thanks for the nice words.

And how about some of you from other parts of the world?  We’ve got North America knocked out right now…and one dot in Australia…..let’s hear from some of the rest of you!

And we’ll finish out with our daily message from Leah

Leah D

I have old friends who don’t have internet, or charge cards, some don’t even have debit cards.
They also are helper deficit, whereas I have my kids and grandkids.
It means I have to do a lot of things for them. We are on the phone, I am on the internet, I ask questions, fill in the blanks; or I revue the products available, so they can choose which items to order.
I keep them updated on news they won’t see on TV.
Is there someone you know like these friends of mine? You most likely will have to offer your services, they won’t ask.

Good advice Leah.  We should all be keeping an eye on our neighbors and friends.

Yeah, let’s find something else we can blame on the man.

Yeah, that’s the scary part.  How the hell are we going to pay for all of this?

And with that cheerful thought, I’ll close for the day.  I hope you all have enjoyed today’s issue.  May you bring a smile with you as you go through the day and spread the good word.  Turn your friends on to Dragon Laffs.  Have a wonderful day and until we meet again. 

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

Good Morning Campers,

It’s the beginning of Week 3 in our Imperial Exile.  We are unfit for human society, we are the unwelcome!  The Unruly!  The Banished!  The Unholy!  We are:

Man!  That sounds so gnarly!  Dammed mythological creatures of the dark, riding through the night to battle the world’s bullshit with truth and laughter! 

So it’s Monday….early Monday… still working on the first cup of go-juice.  Those of you who tuned in yesterday know I had a crappy night’s sleep the night before so, as you’d of figured, I went to bed at a reasonable time last night, got a good night’s sleep and woke up refreshed and awake this morning…
…you’d figure that, anyway. 
Funny how life rarely works out like you figure.
I really need more coffee.
Or stronger coffee maybe.
Maybe that’s my problem…maybe my coffee isn’t strong enough.  Maybe I need to add like some nitroglycerin or something to it.  (Hey!  I spelled nitroglycerin correctly the first time and spell check didn’t light up!)  Anyway, I want to start you guys out with an article that Leah D sent me.  It’s really good, about how a bar and restaurant in a resort town in Park City, Utah were hit hard by the virus.  And if you think about it, the virus is transmitted from person to person and it likes the cold.  A ski resort is the perfect place for it to sink it’s teeth in… so, here’s Leah D…

IF YOU EVER GET A CHANCE TO READ THIS

It is such a prime example of reasons for the spread. 

Park City is in Summit County, second only to Salt Lake County in number of cases. 

https://www.sltrib.com/news/2020/04/05/how-travel-brought/?fbclid=IwAR3BjSSOCBsi40ylNS7lNOoXeiUBLQeukL7Ltg4tLV8buXIs8TW6aZO2TyQ

Thanks Leah for sharing that with us… now, after that, I think it’s time we did a little laughing…. what do you say? 

Another Texas bozo for you today. From Athens, Texas comes the story of bozo Ray Morgan who just didn’t know when to leave well enough alone. Our bozo had just been sentenced to eight years for aggravated assault by judge Jim Parsons when he shouted, “Hey, Judge, look at this!” He then proceeded to drop his pants and moon the judge and the whole courtroom. Bad idea. The judge tacked an additional six months onto his sentence.

Dear Mr. Knight, if you want to come to my cave and play, we can play.  We just have to maintain our social distancing.  My flames will reach a minimum of 6 feet.  Your sword, sadly, will not. Hee, Hee, Hee!  But, you look so sad, it would be such a shame to disappoint you.

It looks like it’s getting bad out there!

I just glanced at a bunch of headlines on the news and can I just say one thing to ALL the politicians?
Stop bitching at each other about what you are or are not doing about the Coronavirus or about what you think the other guy should or should not be doing and start thinking about and doing what you should be for the people you represent.  That’s all.  Just do the best you can for your people or get the hell out of office and let somebody else do it.

I am so sick and tired of the bickering.  It’s like my kids when they were 5 years old.

Let’s do some mail…

paul

Great issue as always — fyi we just put up our christmas lights yesterday —

Too funny Paul!  I hope it works out for you!  Have a great holiday season my friend!

Diaman M

You are outstanding!!! Another way to start my perfect day. Love you.

Mom

Awww!  Gosh!  Thanks Mom!  I love you, too! 

mike

Dear Drag
I’m a bit more than dismayed due to the lack of participation by my former idols in this crisis we are experiencing.
I read that a few, make that two, movie stars are stepping up and donating money and or effort toward this situation. Haven’t heard of a sports star, taking any part in the solution. I keep thinking about the enormous amounts of money they have made from us, over the years and not participating in this

In my small hometown, Reading,Oh, every policeman, every firefighter has yet to get a day off or stay at home. And while teachers are not in their classrooms, they are working diligently, on line, to keep lessons so their students stay up-to-date with their studies. The fella that runs the local gas station is there, long hours and making a ton less with the price of gas lately, yet he’s still there. My niece is a nurse and she has never gave a second thought about not going to work.
So, today, I came to the realization that my heroes have changed.
Threw out all my hats, shirts and any thing else that promotes false heroes and started to look toward the real heroes in my life that deserve our adulation, respect and support.
Police. Fire Fighters, teachers and a myriad of people that go to their jobs for the rest of us.
Today, I’m making a casserole to take to the fire station. it’s what I can do right now.

Mike,

I read your comment last night to Mrs. Dragon and she did a search on line about who had donated and the list is a bit sad.  There has been a few “celebs” who have donated some money and such.  There are some CEOs who are making sure their people are being taken care of during times of layoffs and such, but not like you would think is going on.  Read on article about BP – the oil giant who is doing really good things, helping out doctors, nurses, first responders, around the world, there are others out there.  I’m sure there are others who are remaining quiet, but overall, there aren’t as many as we would hope.  I think we had more people donating to fight the fires in Australia and the rain forests and stuff like that then there are for this thing.

There are companies like GM and Chrysler in our area who have stopped making cars and car parts and have started making ventilators and that’s a good thing and there’s a TON of regular people who are doing absolutely marvelous things, like you, Mike making a casserole for your local fire station, like a friend of Mrs. Dragon who is making face coverings for as many people as want them, free of charge, like another lady I read about who is watching her neighbor by putting up colored paper… if she puts up a green paper, all is well, if she puts up a yellow paper, she needs something from the grocery or some other help, if she puts up a red paper, she needs immediate assistance…and that way they keep a watch on each other (I have no idea why they don’t use a cell phone, but there you go).

But I do agree…I haven’t heard much, if anything at all, about our sports stars doing anything.  Mrs. Dragon said that Drew Brees gave $5 million to help Louisiana … so that ain’t nuthin’.  Doing a search on line shows some others, so some of them are stepping up, but I sure would like to see more.  I’d like to see lots of others step up.  Bill Gates donated like $105 million, now you and I know that’s a drop in the bucket to him, but there’s more like him out there that haven’t done a thing.

And I still say, I worry about the poor waitresses out there, who have been surviving on their tips, and now they don’t have a job and their unemployment, if they even get any, will suck. 

Help your neighbors where you can, help your friends, and help your families.  Stay inside, stay home, stay safe, and help everyone get through this.

Hello from SW Ohio. All is about par here.  There are 4048 reported cases in the sate with 1104 in the hospital.  Of those, 119 are in ICU and 415 deaths state wide.

As for me. I had been driving a Transportation van  (primarily medical runs to doctors, hospitals, etc).  But since I am in the age where I am considered high risk, I chose to take some time off and take care of all the Honey Do jobs around the house.  So far everybody around here seem to be complying with the Stay at Home directives but of course there are always the others. As a retired AF man I have a sense of what your job involves.  It just goes to show that you never know when your information will come in handy!

Stay safe and keep up your good work.. Both at work and on this page.  I look forward to reading it every day.

Larry S.

Thanks for the update Larry!  Always happy to hear from another Air Force guy!  Sounds like Ohio is doing a bit worse than Indiana is.  Stay safe and stay home brother!

Geez!  If that’s only after 5 days ….

Yeah!  That’ll work well!

As anyone who has been on the receiving end of such counseling knows.

Amen, brother!

Or at least turn over.

I blame these next couple of pictures on WAY TOO MUCH TIME on someone’s hands and on Stephanie… definitely on Stephanie:

They’re called Disney Princess Dogs and someone should be very ashamed!

Another poor dog to be ashamed of?

That is an awesome idea!

Okay, by a show of hands, how many of you under the age of 30 got that one?

That’s wrong in so many ways!

Well, we’ve come to the end of another shockingly uneventful day.  I’ll warn you now that I may have to spend part of the day at the base tomorrow, which means the day after might have a slightly truncated or missing issue…but I’ll try to let you know.  Anyway, may your days be blessed, your nights be restful, and all of you stay safe and healthy.

Love to you all,

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

Good Morning Campers,

It’s Sunday and it’s a day off and I’m relaxing and sitting on my couch.  Sadly, I had a really crappy night’s sleep, and I’ve been up since about 0400.  I watched the last final episode of The Magicians.  A show on the SyFy channel.  Five seasons and they brought the whole thing to a conclusion.  It really made me sad. 

Then I watched the second episode of a new SyFy program called Vagrant Queen … meh, not bad, I’ll give it a few more episodes.  Then the latest episode of FBI, and now I’m catching up on God Friended Me…yeah, I know, but I’m running out of things I’ve recorded and there ain’t shit to watch on Sunday morning.

I’m throwing stuff together here for you guys so you’ll have some fun stuff to read tomorrow while I’m dozing in front of the TV with a laptop on my lap…what a friggin’ cliché I am this morning!  LOL!

By all the god’s of thunder and lightning ——– Let’s Laugh!!!!!!!

Could’ve been worse.  Potentially there are garbage disposals and all kinds of things in the kitchen.

Well I finally lost it!

Was just in the store and saw this dude whose cart was FULL to the brim with hand sanitizers, baby wipes, soaps, everything that people need!!

I called him selfish and gave him the low down about the elderly, moms, and people who need these types of things. Told him he should be ashamed of himself!

He said: “Are you done? Cause I really need to get back to restocking the shelves now!!

Leah writes and says:

I have a nephew, and a great niece In west central Colorado. My nephew has to go through two counties to reach the oil rigs. They have county line stop/checks. They have to carry/show papers stating their job is essential.

My friend tells me, in Clark County, Nevada, (Las Vegas is in the middle of it) any worker has to carry papers identifying them as an essential worker.

Not trying to stir the pot here….but how is it fair the people who are on unemployment get an extra $600 a week on their unemployment and food stamps doubled but yet people who are essential workers still have to work, don’t get paid extra, still have to pay their bills and have more risk to get exposed. It’s like saying “thanks for being essential, hope you don’t get sick.

Yup, I understand completely Leah.  Sometimes it sucks being an essential employee and sometimes it works out because you are still working.  I don’t understand why people are getting an extra $600 a week and double food stamps, that doesn’t make any sense.  If they are unemployed anyway, why would they get more?  But, maybe I just don’t understand…I’ve only been on unemployment once for one week many, many years ago.

Brenda C

Sorry, we can blame spell checker, those were good Google guesses .but maybe you should have asked alexa…anyway to set the story straight . Riley and I are in the Buckeye state..home to Ohio State Buckeyes,Rickenbacker,Wright Patterson AFB, home state of John Glenn and Neil Armstrong and many presidents…I checked spell checker and things look right..so keep up the good work. .sure brings smiles to our mundane world…bye for now Riley and me (Brenda)

OHIO!  Man, I was WAY off!  Thanks for setting me straight Brenda, and now YOU are added to the map!  Very military state.

nogardcimsioc

Good Sunday Morning, Impish.

Still loving seeing these every day instead of every week. I really appreciate what you’re doing.

Just noticed a weirdness just to the west of Kokomo, IN. Not sure exactly what it is, but here’s a screen shot from Google Earth:

Kind of looks like a skull, don’t you think?

Aaaaand…I thought George was supposedly the Dragon Slayer…some irony there?

As they say on another humor site: Keep Calm and Chive On.

Donnie

I do like the Chive.  Sadly Donnie, I didn’t get a Screen Shot, so I’m not sure what you’re talking about, but looking at an overhead view of Kokomo, a weird little city on its own, I think that maybe this is what you may have been looking at:

I think it’s part of Martin Marietta-Kokomo Stone.  And if that’s not what you were talking about …. well …. then I’m lost.

This VIRUS has done what no woman had been able to do … cancel all sports, shutdown all bars, and keep men at home!!

“I wish I could have some of that, but I’m trying to live a clean life.”

“It’s banana bread Susan, not heroin.”

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

Don’t be worried about your smartphone and TV spying on you.  Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.

Leah D

I am shocked, Impish. The picture of the kids and paint . . . of course a picture was taken immediately. It is very clear it will be needed as EVIDENCE in COURT. That baby OBVIOUSLY TOUCHED HIS FACE!

I don’t know about the touching his face part, but the evidence in court, I agree with.  It will be needed as mitigating circumstances when the parents beat the CRAP out of the kids!

Will it be today?!?!

1/3

Well, technically, it’s not boobs … so …

2/3 (on a technicality)

Holy Crap!  We did it!  One whole episode with no boobage!  I didn’t think it was possible!

But somehow… I feel … disappointed and let down.

Now there’s an award winning school project!

We need to change who is in charge of this crisis. 

Three phone calls, Radar could’ve had masks, gloves, ventilators, PPE, 12yr old Scotch, Rocky Road ice cream and grape flavored Nehi soda

People are mad about not being able to go places.
Please!
I was grounded about 90% of the time between 7th and 12th grade.  I trained for this!

The first person who heard a parrot speak was probably not ok for several days.

Oh, that was bloody awful!!!

And that is for today…. it was all cartoons again, but it was just a  nice restful day.  And we needed it.  So, until tomorrow, cheers my dear friends.

Impish Dragon!