Embarrassed by your own government.  It’s a terrible feeling to have.  But when your own president acts like and says things like a complete moron, what other kind of feeling are you supposed to have?

Biden goes on TV and says the Supreme Court acted Unconstitutionally in regards to Roe v Wade.  And then writes a presidential edict on abortion that IS unconstitutional.  You have to wonder if the man has even read the Constitution?

Then writes the Inflation Reduction Act, which in itself is a lie.  The burden will be felt mostly by those of us make less than $200,000 a year.  Gee, that’s like most of us!  And is touted as having no new taxes, which is an outright lie.  Sure, we can trust you.

China is harassing the CRAP out of Taiwan and our response is saying out loud how bad that is, patting Taiwan on the shoulder and saying, “there, there.” and sending some of our naval ships in their direction next week.  Oh, and we’re going to cancel our Minuteman test that was scheduled for this week, so there’s no misunderstanding.  And we want to be perfectly clear, that nothing has changed with our policy towards China and Taiwan.

Maybe what we need to do, is climb on the front lawn and crank this as loud as it will go!!!

Thanks Stephanie…now…

Warning Labels are stupid.
I bought some deodorant and it said on the can, “AVOID CONTACT WITH EYES”.  
Too late!  I’d already seen it.

I joined a Carpenter’s Class the other day.  We haven’t made anything yet…we’ve only just begun.

And if you’re thinking to yourself, “I don’t get it” then it’s because your too young.

Why does the need to pee intensify by a million when you are trying to unlock your front door?

I’m not sure, but it looks cool.

“Are you free tomorrow?”

“No, I’m expensive every day.”

“Did you call for an Uber?”

I recently got some great advice from my dear friend and fellow camper Joe in NJ

I am passing this to you because it definitely worked for me, following the simple advice I read in an article, I have finally found inner peace. 

The Article said: “The way to achieve inner peace, is to finish all the things you’ve started”. 

So, today I have finished a bottle of Vodka, a bottle of Red Wine, a bottle of Jack Daniels, a bottle of Perma Frost, my entire supply of  Prozac, a pint of Haagen-Dazs Ice Cream and a large box of Chocolates. 

Damn… if I don’t feel better already! 

If you know anyone who is in need of inner peace, you’d be helping them by passing this message along to them.

Thanks Joe…that helps an awful lot (hic!)

Not sure if my girlfriend’s going to leave me because she thinks I have a gambling problem or if she’s just bluffing.

Teach her to be good and let her know that is what you are proud of her for

You know you are in trouble when the little voices in your head start a chat group.

I’ll never regret someone that I had an amazing time and experience with.  Even if we fall off.  You made my life special at a certain time.  We grew together, even if we grew apart.  Thank you.

Time to get up and get going…
Today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves!

Republican lawmakers want to stop the agency from purchasing more

Okay, a couple of sides to this.  First of all, The IRS has about 5,000 weapons, and 5 million rounds of ammo.  They spent 3/4 of a million of our dollars in 2022 alone on ammunition.  If you look at it and break it down, that’s 100 weapons per state and 1,000 rounds of ammunition per weapon…on average.  Now, not knowing which part of the government is reading this ezine, I refuse to point fingers at anyone, but I know of individual dragons, who are friends of mine, who own more ammunition than that.  Heck, they probably have more ammo than that of each caliber of weapon that they own.  So, it’s really not that much when you break it down that way. 

The BIGGER question is WHY does the IRS need to be armed to begin with?  Shouldn’t the IRS need nothing more than a calculator to do its job?  I understand that there are times that in their collection of taxes that law enforcement becomes involved, but isn’t that what LAW ENFORCEMENT is for?  I repeat my earlier question…WHY IS THE GOVERNMENT ARMING THE IRS AND HIRING TWICE AS MANY AGENTS?!?!

And arming up other government agencies that you wouldn’t think otherwise would be armed?  They are trying to take our guns away from us, while quietly spreading the guns amongst themselves…does anyone else see a problem with this?

I don’t understand how she can stand up there every day and lie for that man.

A man tells a Rabbi, “I have a strong desire to live to eternity.  What am I supposed to do?”

“Get married,” replies the Rabbi.

“It’s that simple?  Would that allow me to live forever?”

“No, but the desire will disappear.”

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be very liberal, and among other liberal ideals, was very much in favor of higher taxes to support more government programs, in other words, redistribution of wealth.

She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch conservative, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.

One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the need for more government programs.

The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school.

Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn’t even have time for a boyfriend and didn’t really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.

Her father listened and then asked, “How is your friend Audrey doing?”

She replied, “Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She’s always invited to all the parties and lots of times she doesn’t even show up for classes because she’s too hung over.”

Her wise father asked his daughter, “Why don’t you go to the Dean’s office and ask him to deduct 1..0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly, that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA”

The daughter, visibly shocked by her father’s suggestion, angrily fired back, “That’s a crazy idea, how would that be fair! I’ve worked really hard for my grades! I’ve invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!”

The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, “Welcome to the conservative side of the fence.”

And the truly wonderful thing about this one is that it caused a nice long conversation between Izzy Dragon and I about the whole “everyone deserves food” thing.  And she FINALLY came around to my way of seeing things.  And I also found out that she thought that I meant that NO ONE deserved food, even children and things like that, so we had a conversation about special circumstances and how it really only meant people that could work or contribute that DIDN’T work or contribute who still expected to be taken care of and … well, long story short, I ended our conversation by welcoming her to the “Conservative side of the fence” and she said, “NO!” and hit me in the arm.  LOL!

What the hell was their name to come up with THAT one?  Maybe the last name of Finger?

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

And really good east coast pizza!!

Okay, so the rocks are noticibly smaller and some of them are much shinier, but other than that … not much differently than last time.  We have one more week to go (and some of you are going “Thank Goodness!)  I think MY rock (the big black one to the upper left) is about half the size it started out as.  I guess we’ll tune in again next week or a few days later.  The final step says 7 to 10 days and I’ll let Izzy decide when she opens it back up. 

And that’s it for today my friends.  Until next time, may you all find love and happiness.

So, Nancy landed in Taiwan and, so far, nothing from China other than a big show of force.  Okay, I can live with that.  I’m not sure how we would react if one of China’s higher ups visited one of our Territories, but I don’t think we would threaten them with nuclear annihilation.  But, who am I to say.

Also, the PACT Act was passed last night with an overwhelming majority.  Depending on who you listen to, there are many different reasons why it passed this time and didn’t pass last week.  Regardless, it did pass this time and it’s a good thing.  Now, many, many vets will be helped that need the help.

I didn’t go out and play darts last night, Tuesday night, I should say.  I had a REALLY bad day.  Not sure why.  But, very tough day and I’m hoping and praying that  today is a better day.  I’m actually going into work today to teach a minor class for an hour or so today, with me going back to work full time in about ten day, I figured it would be okay to do that.

So, I’m sure you guys are tired of listening to me rambling, so…

I knew that Publix was expensive, but that’s just a little over the top…

That’s a heck of a rollback savings that’s more expensive than the original price.  Sounds like our government had a hand in that one.

H  O  L  Y    C  R  A  P  !  !  !  

GIVE BLOOD!

8 Billion Mosquitos Can’t Be Wrong.

Awwww…….!  That’s so sweet!  But……

I didn’t wear earrings for a long time and the holes closed.

Now I’m worried about my vagina.

The absolute definition of “Shit Happens”

So, I was in the shoe store the other day trying on a pair when I said to the salesman, “It’s too tight.”  He told me to try it with the tongue out and I said, “Ith thtill thoo thight.”

If  I’m not mistaken, it’s also taken in front of the same house.

There isn’t anything that I wouldn’t do for a Klondike Bar!

I just saw where Revlon is going to declare bankruptcy.  Things are going to get ugly.

If Queen Elizabeth accidentally farts during dinner, the other guests are supposed to pretend like nothing happened.

Noble gases should have no reaction.

Okay, it’s just a cool picture.  I can’t come up with anything.

I hate it when TV shows say they contain “Adult Situations” but then don’t show anyone going to work, paying their bills, cleaning up after their kids, doing household chores, or any other Adult things.

This next one REALLY cracked me up!!

So very, very true!

SERVICES PROVIDED:  If you ever get ghosted by a person you just slept with, give me their number, I’ll call to tell  them we’ve just found your body, that they are the last known person to see you alive and demand they come to the station to answer a few questions.

I have an amazing superpower — I can melt ice cubes by staring at them.

It takes me quite a long time, but it does work.

If we are ever in a “Don’t Laugh” situation… don’t look over at me!

Me:  Please bring me a screwdriver.

Wife:  Flathead, Phillips, or Vodka?

And that’s when I knew she was the one.

Legal gun owners have 300 million guns and probably a trillion rounds of ammo.  If we were the problem, you’d know it.

You’re kidding yourself if you think it won’t happen!

Due to personal reasons I will be saying “aye” and “arggg” instead of yes and no from now on.  Please respect my piracy during this difficult time.

Can’t believe we don’t have world peace after changing the name on pancake boxes and syrup bottles.

And that’s it for today my friends.  I hope you all have a GREAT day and that you have enjoyed this as much as I have.

Today, as I’m writing this, it’s Saturday.  Although you guys are reading this on Monday.  I’d like to start out with a really good comment from Jim, about the Last Word that we talked about on Saturday.  You remember that?  The Pact Act?  Yeah, you remember.

Now this makes much more sense why the Republican Senators would stop the bill.  And why the dems would throw something stupid in there to try to get it passed.  I’m so tired of hearing all  this green bullshit thrown around when it makes no sense. 

Let’s stop drilling in the United States to save our country, but then buy oil from overseas and ship it by boat, that burns so much more oil to get it here.  What friggin’ sense does THAT make for the green earth? 

Let’s get all these electric cars.  When our electric grid can’t handle the burden we have NOW and we’re going to increase it?  Where are all these cars going to get charged?  Where are all these lithium batteries going to get made?  Where is all the lithium?  Oh yeah…Afghanistan!

Friggin’ Morons!

Thank you Jim, for pointing this out.  No one on the news is pointing this out.  I’m glad to see that we are bringing you Breaking News here at Dragon Laffs.  And it’s all thanks to Jim.

Parts of Kentucky and Las Vegas and I-70 near St. Louis and several other places across the country are under water as we speak.  Izzy Dragon says it’s the Wrath of God (because the casinos were flooding in Vegas).  It’s always something. 

The news is not worth watching…although…with Pelosi’s planned trip to Taiwan and China threatening to respond violently if she does, that might become interesting.  I mean, let’s say, hypothetically, if The Wicked Witch of the West’s plane was to … oh, I don’t know. … be shot down, let’s say, hypothetically — there’s a couple of reactions we have to have:

**We’re pissed off because of all those innocent people on board (because you know she would have a plane full of people with her)
**We’re pissed off because “HOW FUCKING DARE China!
**We’re American, we can fly anywhere we want (if we’re invited).  
**Now we HAVE to respond appropriately,  not just go home with our tail between our legs, like Brandon will want to do.
**And I’m not going to put down, in writing, the obvious last point because, hey, this is a public forum and I’m not stupid.

Izzy says, but who would we get next?  It doesn’t matter.  NO ONE would be as bad as her for Speaker of the house.  I can’t imagine a worse geriatric, drunken, bully.

Anyway, that’s enough about that.  I’ve gotten my political ranting out of my system for now.  So, let’s get on to the good stuff.

No doubt!  I have GOT to do this to Izzy Dragon!  She is the Mac and Cheese Queen!

Sometimes, not saying anything is the best answer.  You see, silence can never be misquoted.

Apparently exercise helps you with decision making.  It’s true.  I went for a run this morning and decided I’m never going again.

I’m about 5 lbs. away from Google Maps mistaking me for a roundabout. 

If I was to have a tattoo, it would look a lot like this.

I envy people that grow old gracefully.  They age like a fine wine.

I’m aging like milk.  Getting sour and chunky.

If a Vampire bites a Zombie, does the Zombie become a Vampire, or does the Vampire become a Zombie?

There is no better feeling than someone playing with your hair or running their fingers down your back…

Unless you thought you were alone.

Impish Dragon’s Angels … yes, I  know we’ve done it before, but it’s so much fun with a new picture, I just had to do it again.

Yes, it truly is.

A mosquito just landed on my husband’s face…

Easiest decision of my life.

There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.

Only a fraction of people will find this funny.

A man and a woman were traveling in a train. 

Woman:  Every time you smile, I feel like inviting you to my place. 

Man:  Awwww…….!  Are you single? 

Woman:  No.  I’m a Dentist.

My wife asked me if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked dinner…

So I took the battery out of the smoke alarm.

Well, that correction changes things just a little bit.

That’s one hell of an optical illusion.  

Yeah, I know you’ve probably seen it in a dozen different formats before, but it’s still funny.

“Wanna play ‘Go Fish’?”

What do you call two guys above a window? 

Kurt and Rod

Does he really not understand how friggin’ stupid he looks?

A nice, western wedding…until you see the guy with the blow up dinosaur…

House key?  Liquor cabinet?  Gun cabinet?  Chasidy belt?  I’m really stumped here.  The key to the lock of the box that the key is locked up in?

Or if you’re hungry go buy food.

What an absolutely stunning picture!

I don’t know why the Invisible Man was so misunderstood…

I thought he made himself clear.

And apparently polls, as well.

Go ahead and ask the democrats…they’ll say, “Inflation?  What inflation?”

Stopped by a roadside stand that said Lobster Tails $2.  So, I paid my $2 and the man behind the counter turns to me and says, “Once upon a time there was this lobster…”

Think about it for a minute, it will come to you.

Apparently, they grow cloves of garlic significantly different sizes in different places.

Scientifically Proven Fact: 

(From our dear friend Joe in New Jersey)

Bath Towels Are The Leading Cause Of Dry Skin!

THAT’S rough!

Nope, no inflation here…

And that, my friends and dear family, is that for this episode of your favorite ezine on the interwebz!  Tune-in again on Thursday when you should be able to find us again to laugh with.  Until then, be happy, be loved, and be well.

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night!

Okay, so more than likely, if you’re reading this when it comes out, SATURDAY Morning … early.  But still, the sentiment is there.  It’s Saturday!  The weekend!  Time to party! 

Or time to sleep in and relax. 

Or time to get the lawn mowed and the chores done. 

Or time to get the shopping done and the kids to practice or whatever.

Do you know that some kids have gone back to school already!!!

It is still July, right?  Man, I remember when we were kids, we didn’t go back to school until like the first week of September!  It ain’t right, I tell ya!  It ain’t right!  And I know, some of you will tell me that nowadays they get a longer fall-break, winter-break, and spring-break.  I don’t know.  It seems to me that we got a pretty long break for each of those too.  But, maybe I’m looking back with rose-colored glasses and it wasn’t as nice “back-in-the-day” as I seem to remember it being…but I think it was.

Is it my imagination, or is car maintenance costing more now than it used to?  I turned my car in to the shop early this morning for a tune-up and a brake-job.  They are going to have the car all day, maybe even into tomorrow and quoted me a price that was pretty high.  Like almost $1,400.  That seems high to me.  But, when I called around, in our area, that was pretty comparable.  So, here I am, vehicleless for the day.  Not that I need to go anywhere, but it’s a bit of a strange feeling.  I’m not normally without transportation.  I know that if I needed something there’s only like ten people or so I could call and get someone out here within anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour depending on who I called, but still… not being able to rely on myself is kind of … I don’t know … weird.

Anyway, enough about me, let’s talk about you for a while.  So, how you doin’?

He thinks he invented that?  Us Jersey Dragons been doin’ that shit for years! 

Okay, Okay, so let’s laugh already!

Because we have to protect ourselves from cartoon characters.

Husband advise:  You should ask her if she’s gained weight, that way she knows you’re paying attention to her.

The problem is, there is some bank somewhere that will probably cash that nowadays.  It used to be that if the words weren’t spelled right they’d kick it back.

I read somewhere that being sarcastic on a regular basis can up to three years to your  life.  If that’s the case, I know that me and bunch of other people I know are gonna live forever!!

Heck, I think that’s about everywhere right now.  Did you guys here that it was like 103 in England?  With their humidity, that’s gonna be a steam bath!

Yurp!  And yur sign proofs it!

Oh my God, this is SO TRUE…

You think you can hurt my feelings?  I used to hold the flashlight for my dad!

Go ahead, think about it…now, don’t you feel a little bit of PTSD?

Now THAT, is dedication to a task!

And that’s another one loaded with truthfulness.

Little kids were asked to draw their favorite pictures of Impish Dragon in school awhile back.  This one is one of my favorites.

I don’t think it will help, but anything is worth a try.  This morning when I dropped the car off to be worked on, one of their employees drove me back home.  While we were driving, he said, “Oh look.  Gas is below $4 a gallon.” It was right at $3.999, so not MUCH below $4, but I gave it to him.  But I replied, “Yeah, but just think, two years ago we were say, ‘Oh look, gas is below $2 a gallon.”  He sighed and thought for a minute and said, “yeah.  Probably won’t see that ever again.” I said, “It all depends on who we put in the Whitehouse in two years and whether they open up and drill in OUR country…you know…where all the cheap oil is.”  He agreed with me.

I’m really, really tired of people complaining about the price of everything… 

“$2.00 for a cup of coffee”
“$3.00 for coat check”
“$4.00 an hour for parking” 

I’m just going to stop inviting those people over to my house.

I’ve had that same problem with many a car I’ve owned.

Every time a bird craps on my car, I eat a plate of wings on my front porch to show them what I am capable of.

I’m not sure if that’s funny or disgusting.

She was just ordering dinner and the Uber driver had SUCH an attitude…

This is just wrong in SO MANY WAYS!!!!

People with a dog:  He’s half British Spaniel, 1/4 French Basset Hound, 1/8 Tibetan Magic Flower, and his ancestors won World War II. 

People with a cat:  This is Nacho and he’s an asshole.

Sometimes the best way to solve a problem, is to stop participating in the problem.

When a man says he’d do anything for a woman, he means he’d stop bullets and slay dragons, not clean the basement and wash dishes.

Yeah, right!  Slay a dragon!

The glasses were a nice touch.

No one is more full of shit than a parent that just said, “Maybe”.

Yes!  Yes, it does!

And is more beautiful because of it.

For years I believed it stood for Liquor, Guns, Bacon, Tacos and Queso. Well, now I am woke…

It’s all fun and games till your jeans don’t fit anymore…

I LOVE old science fiction.  They have stories that begin, “It’s the distant year 2003 and humans are exploring the deep corners of the universe.”  God bless you old sci-fi.  You had such high hopes for us.

If misery loves company, I should have a lot more friends.

I think that is an absolutely excellent idea!

Yup, that will work just fine.

Oh, one thing before we get to the Last Word, remember our rock project…not our, but Izzy Dragon and mine?  Well, we finished step 2 and started step 3.  Here’s what they looked like after step 2:

And here’s a closeup of MY contribution to the project:

It’s actually really smooth and shiny.  Stay tuned to this time next week for the results for week 3.

Okay, I know that there are an awful lot of Vets out there, and some of you may even be suffering some of the maladies that are being discussed  in the PACT Act.  I know I have friends, and even my brother the Owl has some problems because of the damn burn pits.  This is important and I can’t believe it wasn’t passed. 

First of all, this is the email that I received from the American Legion, of which I have been a member for many, many years.

Dear American Legion members and friends,
 
Despite initial bipartisan agreement, the Honoring Our PACT Act is now in jeopardy. This transformative bill providing health care to veterans exposed to burn pits and toxic hazards initially passed both the House and Senate with bipartisan support in June, and again in the House of Representatives just two weeks ago in a 342-88 vote.

You heard that right: this same bill has already passed the House twice and the Senate once, and required a final confirmation in the Senate to be sent to the President’s desk and on July 27th the vote fell short 55-42.

As Senate Veterans Affairs Committee Chairman Jon Tester said,  “This is a sad day in the U.S. Senate. The American people are sick and tired of the games that go on in this body.”

You have a right to be outraged at what has transpired – and to let your senators know about it. We urge you to contact your senators and demand that that they stay in Washington until they pass this much-needed legislation.”

Take Action Now

I contacted my two state senators and let them know how I feel.  It’s not bad enough that we’re giving our money away to illegal aliens and other countries, and that we have veterans who are homeless and suffering who have proudly served our country, but now we won’t even give them the health care THEY WERE PROMISED when they promised to give up EVERYTHING UP TO AND INCLUDING THEIR VERY LIVES.  Seems like kind of a one-sided trade to me, and these damn politicians are even willing to hold up their pussy-assed side of it.  These politicians that get full benefits for life for serving a lousy 4 year term, where our military members, who put their lives on the line for NOWHERE NEAR THE SAME PAY get half pay, if and ONLY if they put in 20 years or more. 

So tell me again, how much you care about the military.

But, no one said it better than John Stewart…and I have that YouTube for you right here. 

I urge you all to contact your state senators and tell them that this is completely and totally unacceptable.  They need to get off their collective asses and get this bill passed.  Every single day that goes by another hero goes without the treatment they need, comes closer to taking their own life and it’s more than just them that suffers. 

Until next time my friends.

We’ve made it all the way round to Thursday again.  Been a VERY busy week.  Monday was Grief Group, Tuesday was my follow up appointment with the surgeon, Physical Therapy, and darts, Wednesday was going to church for either a different Grief Group or Bible study.  As of the writing of this, I haven’t decided yet.

So, talking to the doctor, he is EXTREMELY happy with my progress and we decided I don’t have to wait until September 8 to go back to work.  We talked about it and decided  that 15 August was the correct date.  So, that’s what I’m going with.

Tuesday was much better at darts than last time.  I didn’t win any more matches, but I played better and faster and am getting back into the swing of things.  So, all of that helps. 

So, I know that you don’t want to listen to me ramble on about me and do want to laugh, so…

Officer:  Do you know why I pulled you over? 

Me:  The warrant probably 

Officer:  You have a broken…What?! 

Me:  What?!

I talk an awful lot of smack for someone who tips over when putting on their underwear.

Some friends are much more comfortable to sleep on then others.

My young coworkers asked me to show them pictures of me in high school.  I said I’d go home and dig some out.  They said, “Can’t you just look on your phone?”

And I laughed and laughed and laughed and then I cried.

This damn phone book gets bigger every year!

No matter how hard I try, I never seem to run out of bad ideas.

If I’m a sarcastic asshole when I talk to you, it’s either because I really like you and feel comfortable teasing you…

Or I really hate you and don’t care if you know it…

Good luck figuring out which one.

I got so drunk last night, I walked across the dance floor to get another drink and won the dance contest.

Izzy Dragon saw this picture and said she didn’t like it because it was a bad mix of DC and Marvel.

A husband buys a dozen pairs of panties of the same color for his wife.  His wife protests, “Why the same color?  People will think I don’t change my panties!” 

The husband asks, “Which people?”

“Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it.”

– Golda Meir

Then suddenly, out of nowhere, when Roe vs. Wade popped back in the news… all the Liberals knew what a woman was again.

“I‘m so old that my blood type is discontinued.”

– Bill Dane

“The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.

– Mark Twain

“Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself.”

– Tom Wilson

“I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do.”

– Phyllis Diller

“Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.”

– George Burns

“Don’t let aging get you down. It’s too hard to get back up.”

– John Wagner

“Old people shouldn’t eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.”

– Robert Orben

“At age 20, we worry about what others think of us,  at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us,  at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.”

– Ann Landers

“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.”

– Andy Rooney

“I’ve never known a person who lives to be 110 who is remarkable for anything else.”

– Josh Billings

“The idea is to die young as late as possible.”

– Ashley Montagu

And back then, this stuff worked for ANYTHING!!!

I’m not drinking ANYTHING that has “penis” in its name!

And that’s it for today my friends.