Dragon Laffs #2059

Embarrassed by your own government.  It’s a terrible feeling to have.  But when your own president acts like and says things like a complete moron, what other kind of feeling are you supposed to have?

Biden goes on TV and says the Supreme Court acted Unconstitutionally in regards to Roe v Wade.  And then writes a presidential edict on abortion that IS unconstitutional.  You have to wonder if the man has even read the Constitution?

Then writes the Inflation Reduction Act, which in itself is a lie.  The burden will be felt mostly by those of us make less than $200,000 a year.  Gee, that’s like most of us!  And is touted as having no new taxes, which is an outright lie.  Sure, we can trust you.

China is harassing the CRAP out of Taiwan and our response is saying out loud how bad that is, patting Taiwan on the shoulder and saying, “there, there.” and sending some of our naval ships in their direction next week.  Oh, and we’re going to cancel our Minuteman test that was scheduled for this week, so there’s no misunderstanding.  And we want to be perfectly clear, that nothing has changed with our policy towards China and Taiwan.

Maybe what we need to do, is climb on the front lawn and crank this as loud as it will go!!!

Thanks Stephanie…now…

Warning Labels are stupid.
I bought some deodorant and it said on the can, “AVOID CONTACT WITH EYES”.  
Too late!  I’d already seen it.

I joined a Carpenter’s Class the other day.  We haven’t made anything yet…we’ve only just begun.

And if you’re thinking to yourself, “I don’t get it” then it’s because your too young.

Why does the need to pee intensify by a million when you are trying to unlock your front door?

I’m not sure, but it looks cool.

“Are you free tomorrow?”

“No, I’m expensive every day.”

“Did you call for an Uber?”

I recently got some great advice from my dear friend and fellow camper Joe in NJ

I am passing this to you because it definitely worked for me, following the simple advice I read in an article, I have finally found inner peace. 

The Article said: “The way to achieve inner peace, is to finish all the things you’ve started”. 

So, today I have finished a bottle of Vodka, a bottle of Red Wine, a bottle of Jack Daniels, a bottle of Perma Frost, my entire supply of  Prozac, a pint of Haagen-Dazs Ice Cream and a large box of Chocolates. 

Damn… if I don’t feel better already! 

If you know anyone who is in need of inner peace, you’d be helping them by passing this message along to them.

Thanks Joe…that helps an awful lot (hic!)

Not sure if my girlfriend’s going to leave me because she thinks I have a gambling problem or if she’s just bluffing.

Teach her to be good and let her know that is what you are proud of her for

You know you are in trouble when the little voices in your head start a chat group.

I’ll never regret someone that I had an amazing time and experience with.  Even if we fall off.  You made my life special at a certain time.  We grew together, even if we grew apart.  Thank you.

Time to get up and get going…
Today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves!

We’re going to start today’s Politically Incorrect Zone with one Dragon’s Opinion. If you don’t like it, then skip it and move on, but you ought to just think about it a little bit…

IRS Stockpiles More Than 5 Million Rounds of Ammunition

Republican lawmakers want to stop the agency from purchasing more

Okay, a couple of sides to this.  First of all, The IRS has about 5,000 weapons, and 5 million rounds of ammo.  They spent 3/4 of a million of our dollars in 2022 alone on ammunition.  If you look at it and break it down, that’s 100 weapons per state and 1,000 rounds of ammunition per weapon…on average.  Now, not knowing which part of the government is reading this ezine, I refuse to point fingers at anyone, but I know of individual dragons, who are friends of mine, who own more ammunition than that.  Heck, they probably have more ammo than that of each caliber of weapon that they own.  So, it’s really not that much when you break it down that way. 

The BIGGER question is WHY does the IRS need to be armed to begin with?  Shouldn’t the IRS need nothing more than a calculator to do its job?  I understand that there are times that in their collection of taxes that law enforcement becomes involved, but isn’t that what LAW ENFORCEMENT is for?  I repeat my earlier question…WHY IS THE GOVERNMENT ARMING THE IRS AND HIRING TWICE AS MANY AGENTS?!?!

And arming up other government agencies that you wouldn’t think otherwise would be armed?  They are trying to take our guns away from us, while quietly spreading the guns amongst themselves…does anyone else see a problem with this?

I don’t understand how she can stand up there every day and lie for that man.

A man tells a Rabbi, “I have a strong desire to live to eternity.  What am I supposed to do?”

“Get married,” replies the Rabbi.

“It’s that simple?  Would that allow me to live forever?”

“No, but the desire will disappear.”

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be very liberal, and among other liberal ideals, was very much in favor of higher taxes to support more government programs, in other words, redistribution of wealth.

She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch conservative, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.

One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the need for more government programs.

The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school.

Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn’t even have time for a boyfriend and didn’t really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.

Her father listened and then asked, “How is your friend Audrey doing?”

She replied, “Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She’s always invited to all the parties and lots of times she doesn’t even show up for classes because she’s too hung over.”

Her wise father asked his daughter, “Why don’t you go to the Dean’s office and ask him to deduct 1..0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly, that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA”

The daughter, visibly shocked by her father’s suggestion, angrily fired back, “That’s a crazy idea, how would that be fair! I’ve worked really hard for my grades! I’ve invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!”

The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, “Welcome to the conservative side of the fence.”

And the truly wonderful thing about this one is that it caused a nice long conversation between Izzy Dragon and I about the whole “everyone deserves food” thing.  And she FINALLY came around to my way of seeing things.  And I also found out that she thought that I meant that NO ONE deserved food, even children and things like that, so we had a conversation about special circumstances and how it really only meant people that could work or contribute that DIDN’T work or contribute who still expected to be taken care of and … well, long story short, I ended our conversation by welcoming her to the “Conservative side of the fence” and she said, “NO!” and hit me in the arm.  LOL!

What the hell was their name to come up with THAT one?  Maybe the last name of Finger?

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

And really good east coast pizza!!

Okay, so the rocks are noticibly smaller and some of them are much shinier, but other than that … not much differently than last time.  We have one more week to go (and some of you are going “Thank Goodness!)  I think MY rock (the big black one to the upper left) is about half the size it started out as.  I guess we’ll tune in again next week or a few days later.  The final step says 7 to 10 days and I’ll let Izzy decide when she opens it back up. 

And that’s it for today my friends.  Until next time, may you all find love and happiness.

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6 Responses to Dragon Laffs #2059

  1. Buster Hymen says:

    The biden covid thing is so they can scream about vax mandates and how the vax kept him from getting seriously ill or dying. I’ve had none, taken NO precautions whatsoever, had it(so they said), been exposed numerous times, and I’m still here doing fine. Amazing, huh?

  2. Marsha Mastrangelo says:

    I see a necklace with matching earrings from the leopard looking stones. Yep now to make jewelry, sell on line, new side hussel. Only have to leave house to find stones. You could get neighbor kids to bring them to you…. OMG where is that rock tumbler the kids used to have??

  3. Leah D says:

    What’s important in the fact that Bill Gates is buying all the FARMLAND, is not that he intends to grow food on it. It is because all FARMLAND has WATER RIGHTS. It takes a famer’s daughter to tell you this?

  4. Leah D says:

    Did it occur to you that Biden may have a constant battle with covid case after covid case? That way they have a perfect excuse for keeping him locked up in the basement . . . for at least until they can get the teleprompter fixed?

  5. Leah D says:

    Hey! Is that a piece of Rose Quartz I see? And is that Wyoming Jade? And where is the jewelry making kit?

  6. jhjoseph says:

    Some great material this week. Thanks for the laughs.

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