Dragon Laffs #2056

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night!

Okay, so more than likely, if you’re reading this when it comes out, SATURDAY Morning … early.  But still, the sentiment is there.  It’s Saturday!  The weekend!  Time to party! 

Or time to sleep in and relax. 

Or time to get the lawn mowed and the chores done. 

Or time to get the shopping done and the kids to practice or whatever.

Do you know that some kids have gone back to school already!!!

It is still July, right?  Man, I remember when we were kids, we didn’t go back to school until like the first week of September!  It ain’t right, I tell ya!  It ain’t right!  And I know, some of you will tell me that nowadays they get a longer fall-break, winter-break, and spring-break.  I don’t know.  It seems to me that we got a pretty long break for each of those too.  But, maybe I’m looking back with rose-colored glasses and it wasn’t as nice “back-in-the-day” as I seem to remember it being…but I think it was.

Is it my imagination, or is car maintenance costing more now than it used to?  I turned my car in to the shop early this morning for a tune-up and a brake-job.  They are going to have the car all day, maybe even into tomorrow and quoted me a price that was pretty high.  Like almost $1,400.  That seems high to me.  But, when I called around, in our area, that was pretty comparable.  So, here I am, vehicleless for the day.  Not that I need to go anywhere, but it’s a bit of a strange feeling.  I’m not normally without transportation.  I know that if I needed something there’s only like ten people or so I could call and get someone out here within anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour depending on who I called, but still… not being able to rely on myself is kind of … I don’t know … weird.

Anyway, enough about me, let’s talk about you for a while.  So, how you doin’?

He thinks he invented that?  Us Jersey Dragons been doin’ that shit for years! 

Okay, Okay, so let’s laugh already!

Because we have to protect ourselves from cartoon characters.

Husband advise:  You should ask her if she’s gained weight, that way she knows you’re paying attention to her.

The problem is, there is some bank somewhere that will probably cash that nowadays.  It used to be that if the words weren’t spelled right they’d kick it back.

I read somewhere that being sarcastic on a regular basis can up to three years to your  life.  If that’s the case, I know that me and bunch of other people I know are gonna live forever!!

Heck, I think that’s about everywhere right now.  Did you guys here that it was like 103 in England?  With their humidity, that’s gonna be a steam bath!

Yurp!  And yur sign proofs it!

Oh my God, this is SO TRUE…

You think you can hurt my feelings?  I used to hold the flashlight for my dad!

Go ahead, think about it…now, don’t you feel a little bit of PTSD?

Now THAT, is dedication to a task!

And that’s another one loaded with truthfulness.

Little kids were asked to draw their favorite pictures of Impish Dragon in school awhile back.  This one is one of my favorites.

I don’t think it will help, but anything is worth a try.  This morning when I dropped the car off to be worked on, one of their employees drove me back home.  While we were driving, he said, “Oh look.  Gas is below $4 a gallon.” It was right at $3.999, so not MUCH below $4, but I gave it to him.  But I replied, “Yeah, but just think, two years ago we were say, ‘Oh look, gas is below $2 a gallon.”  He sighed and thought for a minute and said, “yeah.  Probably won’t see that ever again.” I said, “It all depends on who we put in the Whitehouse in two years and whether they open up and drill in OUR country…you know…where all the cheap oil is.”  He agreed with me.

I’m really, really tired of people complaining about the price of everything… 

“$2.00 for a cup of coffee”
“$3.00 for coat check”
“$4.00 an hour for parking” 

I’m just going to stop inviting those people over to my house.

I’ve had that same problem with many a car I’ve owned.

Every time a bird craps on my car, I eat a plate of wings on my front porch to show them what I am capable of.

I’m not sure if that’s funny or disgusting.

She was just ordering dinner and the Uber driver had SUCH an attitude…

This is just wrong in SO MANY WAYS!!!!

People with a dog:  He’s half British Spaniel, 1/4 French Basset Hound, 1/8 Tibetan Magic Flower, and his ancestors won World War II. 

People with a cat:  This is Nacho and he’s an asshole.

Sometimes the best way to solve a problem, is to stop participating in the problem.

When a man says he’d do anything for a woman, he means he’d stop bullets and slay dragons, not clean the basement and wash dishes.

Yeah, right!  Slay a dragon!

The glasses were a nice touch.

No one is more full of shit than a parent that just said, “Maybe”.

Yes!  Yes, it does!

And is more beautiful because of it.

For years I believed it stood for Liquor, Guns, Bacon, Tacos and Queso. Well, now I am woke…

It’s all fun and games till your jeans don’t fit anymore…

I LOVE old science fiction.  They have stories that begin, “It’s the distant year 2003 and humans are exploring the deep corners of the universe.”  God bless you old sci-fi.  You had such high hopes for us.

If misery loves company, I should have a lot more friends.

I think that is an absolutely excellent idea!

Yup, that will work just fine.

Oh, one thing before we get to the Last Word, remember our rock project…not our, but Izzy Dragon and mine?  Well, we finished step 2 and started step 3.  Here’s what they looked like after step 2:

And here’s a closeup of MY contribution to the project:

It’s actually really smooth and shiny.  Stay tuned to this time next week for the results for week 3.

Okay, I know that there are an awful lot of Vets out there, and some of you may even be suffering some of the maladies that are being discussed  in the PACT Act.  I know I have friends, and even my brother the Owl has some problems because of the damn burn pits.  This is important and I can’t believe it wasn’t passed. 

First of all, this is the email that I received from the American Legion, of which I have been a member for many, many years.

Dear American Legion members and friends,
Despite initial bipartisan agreement, the Honoring Our PACT Act is now in jeopardy. This transformative bill providing health care to veterans exposed to burn pits and toxic hazards initially passed both the House and Senate with bipartisan support in June, and again in the House of Representatives just two weeks ago in a 342-88 vote.

You heard that right: this same bill has already passed the House twice and the Senate once, and required a final confirmation in the Senate to be sent to the President’s desk and on July 27th the vote fell short 55-42.

As Senate Veterans Affairs Committee Chairman Jon Tester said,  “This is a sad day in the U.S. Senate. The American people are sick and tired of the games that go on in this body.”

You have a right to be outraged at what has transpired – and to let your senators know about it. We urge you to contact your senators and demand that that they stay in Washington until they pass this much-needed legislation.”

Take Action Now

I contacted my two state senators and let them know how I feel.  It’s not bad enough that we’re giving our money away to illegal aliens and other countries, and that we have veterans who are homeless and suffering who have proudly served our country, but now we won’t even give them the health care THEY WERE PROMISED when they promised to give up EVERYTHING UP TO AND INCLUDING THEIR VERY LIVES.  Seems like kind of a one-sided trade to me, and these damn politicians are even willing to hold up their pussy-assed side of it.  These politicians that get full benefits for life for serving a lousy 4 year term, where our military members, who put their lives on the line for NOWHERE NEAR THE SAME PAY get half pay, if and ONLY if they put in 20 years or more. 

So tell me again, how much you care about the military.

But, no one said it better than John Stewart…and I have that YouTube for you right here. 

I urge you all to contact your state senators and tell them that this is completely and totally unacceptable.  They need to get off their collective asses and get this bill passed.  Every single day that goes by another hero goes without the treatment they need, comes closer to taking their own life and it’s more than just them that suffers. 

Until next time my friends.

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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #2056

  1. Leah D says:

    I love rocks, and passed that on to my kids, and grandkids. I had many baskets and bowls of rocks in my living room when we had t move everything out in order to put new carpet in. I knew I needed to get rid of the rocks. I couldn’t do it, so told my husband to take them out, dump them on my rock garden/flower hill. He did. I have retrieved some of the turquoise and the rose quartz rocks, and the petrified bone and trees, but left the rest. No worry. Now my great grandchildren are so excited when they find “a pretty rock” and run to show me! I put them in a bowl, in the living room.

  2. Jim says:

    I agree with Steward of taking care of our veterans. But he didn’t know that the fat head of the senate attached a lie in that bill to add 400 billion for their green new wants and desires that increased the bill to over 700 billion. The conservatives said no, only for the vets with nothing else, and the dems caved in. The original bill is to be intro to the senate for approval next week.

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