Dragon Laffs #2058

So, Nancy landed in Taiwan and, so far, nothing from China other than a big show of force.  Okay, I can live with that.  I’m not sure how we would react if one of China’s higher ups visited one of our Territories, but I don’t think we would threaten them with nuclear annihilation.  But, who am I to say.

Also, the PACT Act was passed last night with an overwhelming majority.  Depending on who you listen to, there are many different reasons why it passed this time and didn’t pass last week.  Regardless, it did pass this time and it’s a good thing.  Now, many, many vets will be helped that need the help.

I didn’t go out and play darts last night, Tuesday night, I should say.  I had a REALLY bad day.  Not sure why.  But, very tough day and I’m hoping and praying that  today is a better day.  I’m actually going into work today to teach a minor class for an hour or so today, with me going back to work full time in about ten day, I figured it would be okay to do that.

So, I’m sure you guys are tired of listening to me rambling, so…

I knew that Publix was expensive, but that’s just a little over the top…

That’s a heck of a rollback savings that’s more expensive than the original price.  Sounds like our government had a hand in that one.

H  O  L  Y    C  R  A  P  !  !  !  


8 Billion Mosquitos Can’t Be Wrong.

Awwww…….!  That’s so sweet!  But……

I didn’t wear earrings for a long time and the holes closed.

Now I’m worried about my vagina.

The absolute definition of “Shit Happens”

So, I was in the shoe store the other day trying on a pair when I said to the salesman, “It’s too tight.”  He told me to try it with the tongue out and I said, “Ith thtill thoo thight.”

If  I’m not mistaken, it’s also taken in front of the same house.

There isn’t anything that I wouldn’t do for a Klondike Bar!

I just saw where Revlon is going to declare bankruptcy.  Things are going to get ugly.

If Queen Elizabeth accidentally farts during dinner, the other guests are supposed to pretend like nothing happened.

Noble gases should have no reaction.

Okay, it’s just a cool picture.  I can’t come up with anything.

I hate it when TV shows say they contain “Adult Situations” but then don’t show anyone going to work, paying their bills, cleaning up after their kids, doing household chores, or any other Adult things.

This next one REALLY cracked me up!!

So very, very true!

SERVICES PROVIDED:  If you ever get ghosted by a person you just slept with, give me their number, I’ll call to tell  them we’ve just found your body, that they are the last known person to see you alive and demand they come to the station to answer a few questions.

I have an amazing superpower — I can melt ice cubes by staring at them.

It takes me quite a long time, but it does work.

If we are ever in a “Don’t Laugh” situation… don’t look over at me!

Me:  Please bring me a screwdriver.

Wife:  Flathead, Phillips, or Vodka?

And that’s when I knew she was the one.

Legal gun owners have 300 million guns and probably a trillion rounds of ammo.  If we were the problem, you’d know it.

You’re kidding yourself if you think it won’t happen!

Due to personal reasons I will be saying “aye” and “arggg” instead of yes and no from now on.  Please respect my piracy during this difficult time.

Can’t believe we don’t have world peace after changing the name on pancake boxes and syrup bottles.

And that’s it for today my friends.  I hope you all have a GREAT day and that you have enjoyed this as much as I have.

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1 Response to Dragon Laffs #2058

  1. Leah D says:

    Actually, China said if Pelosi visited, accompanied by (sorry, I didn’t keep that news story) a bunch of military type guys, then they would bomb. She didn’t.

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