Good Morning Campers,
Welcome to Monday. What a great weekend it was! Well, I’m predicting since it’s currently Saturday morning, but I’ve already gone to Men’s Breakfast, which was awesome this month! Had a great phone call with the Whelpling last night that really touched my heart. And have gotten some really good messages and comments from you guys that we’ll share some with throughout this issue.
Now, on the bad news front, Papa Dragon Most Senior, my Dad, and his dear wife, are both very, very sick. They both have a viral infection. Dad is much sicker and not doing well. I’m quite worried and am asking all you guys to add them both to your prayers please. Thank you in advance for that.
So, with that, what do you say we get this thing started and we’ll play more as we go along?
So, are you wondering what that is a picture of? Well, it is a picture of five (5) megabytes of memory on punch cards. That’s five … mega … bytes. That’s like a handful of typewritten pages.
So, let’s move on to our first message
Just ban trains along with my guns and gas stove. There’s an easy answer to everything.
Cornelious, I can’t help but sense a bit of sarcasm in your missive. I just don’t think you really want anyone to ban your gas stove … or your trains for that matter. I don’t know what it is … call it a weird feeling, or a strong vibe, but I just don’t think your serious. But, I do thank you for writing.
Seriously, Cornelious, don’t give them any ideas. That will be the stupid democrats next brilliant idea, to ban trains.
Cheers, Impish Dragon
Wow! That is one brave lady! Good for her!
And next, we have another message. This one from …
I read and look forward to ALL your comments. Maybe you could include an intentional mistake or typo, just to see how many react.
Hey Mike, how you doin’? First, I’m not sure that anyone could tell with my…um…unusual writing style. And B, I’m not sure I could make missed steaks on porpoise. It’s really not my stile. I suppose I could do the obvious and screw up your and you’re or there, their, and they’re, to, too, two, or or and oar. Although I’m not sure anyone screws up that last one.
Okay, I’ve really picked that one about as clean as I’m going to get it. That was fun. Thanks Michael.
I really like that shirt!
And now another comment, which I also like!
1) You just KNOW I had to look up the Atomic Mass of Uranium!
2) We will, we will ROCK YOU!
3) I just HAD to borrow your percentage information and resend it.
So, Steve, I can see we think alike. Yup, the Atomic Mass of Uranium was wrong.
For those of you who didn’t get that one…and yeah, for number 3, I sent those percentages off to a bunch of people who REALLY needed to see them. I don’t think it will quiet any of them down but they still needed to see them!! Thanks for writing Steve!
“That silly Impish Dragon is following me, I know he is…”
Now this one…
Hey Dragon. Regarding the “Subway Mom” — it’s not about her son….it’s about EASY MONEY!!
Yup. I got that one, too, SLC. But, I was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt that she was JUST a crappy mother. Not a conniving uncaring troll AND a crappy mother.
Really like the one about burglars carrying id.
That is how we operate around here.
Makes me wonder where, “around here” is. Would be really convenient. I’ll bet you enjoyed the story of the rapist who had his name in his pants.
And I quite enjoyed this one from John as well…
He pissed in his bed to avoid being in the military.
Or as Paul Harvey used to call them “chicken hawks”.
Want to go to war, but not serve themselves or have their family serve.
Candidate Bone Spurs.
Beau Biden, according to people who were he was, probably got what his cancer while on active duty.
I didn’t know that about Nugent. And I agree with you about the rest. There are far too many who are happy to send us to war, watch us fight and die, but are unwilling or unable to do so themselves. I don’t mind the unable THAT much if they TRULY are unable, but if they are just afraid, and can’t get over it like the rest of us did, then there should be something else they can do to serve their country that is just as hard or harder. I tend to agree with Robert Heinlein in Starship Troopers when he postulated that only through government service could you attain citizenship and therefore stuff like voting. Somehow I think we might have a much better result in office if it was only veterans who could vote.
Wow! I just had a picture of Heaven flash through my mind at the thought…okay, moving on…
This is another issue I did not get. Please tell me why I am not getting DragonLaffs in my comcast mailbox? I came to the website to find two more issues I have missed.
Leah and everyone else. For some reason, those of you who have been reading Dragon Laffs in your email instead of going to the website at dragonlaffs.com, have been occasionally NOT been receiving your issues of Dragon Laffs in your inbox as expected. I have no idea why this is happening. It is nothing that you or I have done. It is nothing that word press has done. It is nothing that your email provider has done because it is happening to different providers. There is nothing we can do that we’ve found to fix the issue, it tends to go away on its own. The best I can tell you is this. Other than the rare occasion when I screw up and send the issue out early or something incredibly drastic happens and I don’t warn you ahead of time, the issues go out at 0200 hrs on Monday, Thursday, and Saturday every week. So, if you wake up on one of those days and don’t have an issue, go to http://dragonlaffs.com and check for an issue there. If there isn’t an issue there, then you can worry if I’m alright. If there IS an issue there, then wait for your email to fix itself. That’s all the information I have for you. Sorry.
The SR-71 still holds the air speed record.
Teaching Math in Public Schools
1. TEACHING MATH IN 1950
A logger sells a truckload of timber for $100 His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? $____
2. Teaching Math In 1970…
A logger sells a truckload of timber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit? $___
3. Teaching Math In 1990…
A logger sells a truckload of timber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit? __Yes or __No
4. Teaching Math In 2000…
A logger sells a truckload of timber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20
5. Teaching Math In 2015…
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living?
Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes.
6. Teaching Math in 2022…
Math is Racist. It was only invented to prove the superiority of whites. Students no longer need any math skills to go to Graduate school. 2 + 2 = 4, or 22, or whatever you feel is correct. There are no wrong answers, feel free to express your feelings e.g., anger, anxiety, inadequacy, helplessness etc. Should you require debriefing at the conclusion of the exam there are counselors available to assist you to adjust back into the real world
So, this next bunch is from Joe in NJ. I found them quite interesting…this is what Joe had to say:
Impish, No idea if these are true but they’re interesting. …Joe in NJ
_______________ Day Brightener – A Bit Of Historical Knowledge For You Related To Old Sayings
Early aircraft throttles had a ball on the end of it, in order to go full throttle the pilot had to push the throttle all the way forward into the wall of the instrument panel. Hence “balls to the wall” for going very fast. And now you know the rest of the story.
Did you know the saying “God willing and the creek don’t rise” was in reference to the Creek Indians and not a body of water? It was written by Benjamin Hawkins in the late 18th century. He was a politician and Indian diplomat. While in the south, Hawkins was requested by the President of the U.S. to return to Washington In his response, he was said to write, “God willing and the Creek don’t rise.” Because he capitalized the word “Creek”, he was referring to the Creek Indian tribe and not a body of water.
In George Washington’s days, there were no cameras. One’s image was either sculpted or painted. Some paintings of George Washington showed him standing behind a desk with one arm behind his back while others showed both legs and both arms. Prices charged by painters were not based on how many people were to be painted, but by how many limbs were to be painted. Arms and legs are ‘limbs,’ therefore painting them would cost the buyer more. Hence the expression, ‘Okay, but it’ll cost you an arm and a leg.’ (Artists know hands and arms are more difficult to paint.)
As incredible as it sounds, men and women took baths only twice a year (May and October). Women kept their hair covered, while men shaved their heads (because of lice and bugs) and wore wigs. Wealthy men could afford good wigs made from wool. They couldn’t wash the wigs, so to clean them they would carve out a loaf of bread, put the wig in the shell, and bake it for 30 minutes. The heat would make the wig big and fluffy, hence the term ‘big wig’. Today we often use the term ‘here comes the Big Wig’ because someone appears to be or is powerful and wealthy.
In the late 1700’s, many houses consisted of a large room with only one chair. Commonly, a long wide board folded down from the wall, and was used for dining. The ‘head of the household’ always sat in the chair while everyone else ate sitting on the floor. Occasionally a guest, who was usually a man, would be invited to sit in this chair during a meal. To sit in the chair meant you were important and in charge. They called the one sitting in the chair the ‘chair man.’ Today in business, we use the expression or title ‘Chairman’ or ‘Chairman of the Board.’
Personal hygiene left much room for improvement. As a result, many women and men had developed acne scars by adulthood. The women would spread bee’s wax over their facial skin to smooth out their complexions. When they were speaking to each other, if a woman began to stare at another woman’s face she was told, ‘mind your own bee’s wax.’ Should the woman smile, the wax would crack, hence the term ‘crack a smile’. In addition, when they sat too close to the fire, the wax would melt. Therefore, the expression ‘losing face.’
Ladies wore corsets, which would lace up in the front. A proper and dignified woman, as in ‘straight laced’ wore a tightly tied lace.
Common entertainment included playing cards. However, there was a tax levied when purchasing playing cards but only applicable to the ‘Ace of Spades.’ To avoid paying the tax, people would purchase 51 cards instead. Yet, since most games require 52 cards, these people were thought to be stupid or dumb because they weren’t ‘playing with a full deck.’
Early politicians required feedback from the public to determine what the people considered important. Since there were no telephones, TV’s or radios, the politicians sent their assistants to local taverns, pubs, and bars. They were told to ‘go sip some Ale and listen to people’s conversations and political concerns. Many assistants were dispatched at different times. ‘You go sip here’ and ‘You go sip there.’ The two words ‘go sip’ were eventually combined when referring to the local opinion and, thus we have the term ‘gossip.’
At local taverns, pubs, and bars, people drank from pint and quart-sized containers. A bar maid’s job was to keep an eye on the customers and keep the drinks coming. She had to pay close attention and remember who was drinking in ‘pints’ and who was drinking in ‘quarts,’ hence the phrase ‘minding your ‘P’s and Q’s’.
One more: bet you didn’t know this! In the heyday of sailing ships, all war ships and many freighters carried iron cannons. Those cannons fired round iron cannon balls. It was necessary to keep a good supply near the cannon. However, how to prevent them from rolling about the deck? The best storage method devised was a square-based pyramid with one ball on top, resting on four resting on nine, which rested on sixteen. Thus, a supply of 30 cannon balls could be stacked in a small area right next to the cannon. There was only one problem…. how to prevent the bottom layer from sliding or rolling from under the others. The solution was a metal plate called a ‘Monkey’ with 16 round indentations. However, if this plate were made of iron, the iron balls would quickly rust to it. The solution to the rusting problem was to make ‘Brass Monkeys.’ Few landlubbers realize that brass contracts greater and much faster than iron when it’s chilled. Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far, the brass indentations would shrink so much that the iron cannonballs would roll right off the monkey; Thus, it was quite literally, ‘Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.’
And that is it for today my friends. May God Bless you with Love and Happiness until we meet again.
I had to look up the percentages also . . .
Ever watched TV news or a talk show and been concerned with how much the country has changed? A recent poll conducted by a national polling firm, “YouGov” questioned typical people on the street. The averaged answers are listed below.
What percentage of the country is black? Answers 41%… Actual 12%. If you watch commercials, you will think it is 90%.
What percentage of marriages are mixed race? Answer 50%…Actual 1%. If you watch commercials, you will think it is 90%.
What percentage is “Latino”? Answers 39%… Actual numbers 17%.
How many families make over $500,000 a year? Answers 26%… Actual figure 1%. We think a quarter of the country is rich.
What percent of Americans are vegetarians? Response? 30%… Actual 5%.
What percent of Americans live in NY city? Answers? 30%… Actual 3%.
What percentage of Americans are ‘transgender? 22%… Actual number 1%
What percentage of your fellow citizens are Gay? Result? 30%… Actual 3%.
1.5% of American adults identify as gay, 1% identify as lesbian
So why do people have such inaccurate thoughts on these counts? THE MEDIA! The media run race, gender, and wealth stories constantly. Result? We are being brainwashed by the media. Hitler’s propaganda minister Joseph Goebbels would be proud if he had half this success.
Disney just went full-on “gender” . They will no longer welcome guests with the traditional “Welcome ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls” Why? Because 1% of the population dictates to the other 99% (that would be the vast majority) and corporate America falls for it.
Regardless of what you think, less than 20%
of Americans use “Twitter” yet Twitter controls 80% of public opinion. Why? The media.
Next time you are thinking Americans have changed and not in a good way, remember, it’s fake. Most people think just like you do, but the media has brainwashed Americans with their constantly misleading WOKE broadcasts.
Boy that really set the hair on me. When butchering a hog, it was killed, then hung and dipped into a barrel of boiling water. Scalding it made the hair pull out very easily. However, scalding too hot or too long would “set” the hair making it nearly impossible to pull out. Think old timers on a farm a la Little House on the Prairie. I been there. We raised and butchered hogs ourselves.
I like the lady who “handled” the burglar/would be rapist.
I am in Southern Missouri.
Where many of the No Trespassing signs say:
Trespassers will be shot.
Survivors will be shot again.
And it is serious.
Another Favorite is:
Due to the high cost of ammunition, there will be no warning shot.
Thanks for your posts.
I don’t agree with some of what you say, but at least you have reasons for your position.
Too many jerks, on both sides, take a position and have no clue why. Some just have no clue. About anything.
Re: not getting DragonLaffs: Personally I think one of two things are happening. First, with the millions (billions?) of emails going through the vast internet, some simply take the wrong turn and get lost…..second, sometimes the receiver’s mail box is too full and it gets rejected. (The writer of this information is in no way an expert, nor can he be held accountable for the information should someone want to prove him wrong.) You will get no money from suing me! Mwhahaaaha.