Today is Sunday and what a 24 hours it’s been! Took Holly to a wedding of a dear friend 24 hours ago, Saturday night and the sky opened up like God was trying to refloat Noah’s Ark! Oh…and of course, it was an outdoor wedding. Then the thunder and lightning and I had to remind everyone that if you were going to hold onto the tents, don’t hold onto the big metal poles that are stuck into the ground and pointing way up in the air. Luckily no one got electrocuted and God stopped the rain before we needed and boat and the wedding went off without a hitch.

Then this morning, Holly went with me to church for the first time. I went to her church a couple of weeks ago. She really like our church. I like her church. So I can see us doing the back and forth thing a little bit. I can’t go to her church when she is doing communion … for some reason. I’ll have to ask her about that and she can’t go to mine when I’m on security because I don’t actually sit in the congregation and she can’t be with me and would be uncomfortable sitting by herself in a church that isn’t hers.

And now it’s Tuesday. It’s been a wild couple of days and I really need to get a move on if there’s going to be an issue ready for Thursday. Took my Angelology test last night. I think I did well. Won’t find out the grade for a little while. Test has to be mailed in and graded and then I’ll be notified of the grade.

I need you all to do me a favor. I need everyone to pray for someone. A buddy of mine, someone I work with, play darts with, whom I’ve known for a LONG time. Friend who’s been to my house to help me fix things, a great guy. Let’s call him Ehi … his nickname … or Mike. Ehi was on his way to work on his motorcycle, just down the street from his home, when he either tried to avoid a deer or hit a deer and wrecked … bad. And before you ask, yes, he was wearing his helmet. I listened to it on the scanner at work, although at the time I didn’t know it was him and it sounded like a horrible wreck. First responders didn’t know if the guy was alive or dead at first. It wasn’t until later that I found out that what I was listening to was my dear friend.

We found out at work that he was in the wreck and that he was air lifted to Ft. Wayne hospital, 70 miles away and that’s all we knew. I happened to be at a meeting for the Air Show today with some State Trooper buddies of mine and asked if any troopers were on the crash site and he sent out a message and found one who was there and he said he thought that Ehi suffered from a broken back and broke leg. Turns out he was wrong.

Been playing phone tag with dart buddies and friends trying to keep everyone informed. Well, Ehi’s wife got back ahold of Scott, Ehi’s boss and told him what was actually going on and Scott called me and I talked to everyone else (see what I mean about phone tag). This was not that long ago. Ehi busted just about every one of his ribs and punctured one of his lungs to the point that they had to re-inflate it at the hospital. He broke his scapula. He chipped or possibly cracked vertebrae. He did not brake his back or his leg. The GOOD news is that there was no brain damage or internal organ damage. He is going to be in ICU for at least a week and (in my official medical opinion) in a crap load of pain for quite some time. Busted ribs HURT!

So please, pray for this guy … lots!

And in the mean time …

Let’s start with 2 pictures created by Don especially for us here…

Some more AI “art” that I did. One is a picture inspired by your “slothful dragon” remark. The other I envisioned as a cousin of yours from Asia. Hope you like them.

Peace,

Don

That is crazy scary!

Pretty much does it for me…

I sent this one to Izzy … she didn’t laugh.

Yeah … and?

Hey! Me, too!

LOL! My house in 1977!

Sweating under the blazing summer sun, she was on her hands and knees in the garden, aggressively ripping up weeds. Meanwhile, her husband strolled out of the air-conditioned house, cool as a cucumber, and asked, “Hey, what’s for dinner?”

Wiping the sweat from her brow, she snapped. “Are you kidding me? I’m out here breaking my back while you’re lounging inside, and you’re asking me about supper? Just pretend I’m out of town and figure it out yourself!”

“Fair enough,” he said, and wandered back inside.

Taking her advice to heart, he fired up the grill and fixed a massive, juicy ribeye steak, a loaded baked potato, a crisp Caesar salad, and cracked open a frosty beer. He sat down and thoroughly enjoyed every single bite.

Just as he was wiping the last of the steak juice from his plate, the back door slammed. His exhausted, mud-streaked wife walked into the kitchen, looked at the empty plate, and demanded, “Where’s my dinner?”

He blinked in surprise. “Huh? I thought you were out of town!”

The old ones are still the best ones!

No! If that’s how you feel, you ain’t doin’ it right!

This next one is great, also. Very short!

John and Greg driving along the highway looking for a place to stop and picnic. 

John says, “Let’s stop here, and have our picnic under that tree.” 

Greg says, “No! Let’s have it right here in the middle of the road.” 

They fought for a bit, but finally agreed to have it in the middle of the road. 

All of a sudden, a car comes speeding towards them and has to swerve into the tree to keep from hitting them. 

John says, “You were right! If we were under that tree, we’d be dead now!” 

But you finished!!!

Yeah, it’s a play on an old joke …

The rain was absolutely torrential, turning the street outside the local pub into a miserable, grey river.

Standing right in the middle of it all was an old Irishman. He was utterly soaked to the bone, staring intently into a massive puddle while holding a wooden stick with a piece of string dangling in the muddy water.

A well-dressed gentleman, rushing past to escape the downpour, froze at the sight. Moved by sheer pity for the poor soul, he stopped and asked, “What on earth are you doing there, my friend?”

“Fishing,” the old man replied miserably, without looking up.

The gentleman’s heart sank. The poor old geezer has completely lost his marbles, he thought. Wanting to get the man out of the freezing deluge, he tapped him on the shoulder. “Look, come inside out of the cold. Let me buy you a proper drink.”

A few minutes later, they were huddled by the roaring pub fire, comfortably sipping two neat Irish whiskeys. As the warmth washed over them, the gentleman couldn’t help but smile at the bizarre situation. Leaning in, he asked playfully, “So, tell me… how many have you caught today?”

The old man took a slow, satisfying sip of his whiskey, looked him dead in the eye, and smiled.

“You’re the eighth.”

The following letters are taken from an actual incident between a London hotel and one of its guests. 

The Hotel ended up submitting the letters to the London Sunday Times!



Dear Maid,


Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. 

Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. 

They are in my way.


Thank you,
S. Berman


Dear Room 635,


I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. 

I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. 

The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. 

This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the management is to leave 3 soaps daily. 

I hope this is satisfactory. 


Kathy, Relief Maid


Dear Maid – I hope you are my regular maid.


Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap. 

When I got back to my room this evening I found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. 

I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own bath-size Dial so I won’t need those 6 little Camays which are on the shelf. 

They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc. 

Please remove them.


S. Berman


Dear Mr. Berman,


My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps which we are instructed by the management. 

I took the 6 soaps which were in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. 

I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn’t remove the 3 complimentary soaps which are always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and which you did not object to when you checked in last Monday. 

Please let me know if I can of further assistance.


Your regular maid,
Dotty


Dear Mr. Berman,


The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this morning that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service. 

I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience.

 If you have any future complaints please contact me so I can give it my personal attention.

Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you.


Elaine Carmen Housekeeper


Dear Miss Carmen,


It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business at 7:45 AMand don’t get back before 5:30 or 6PM. 

That’s the reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. 

You were already off duty. I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little bars of soap. 

The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bath-room shelf. 

In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap. 

Why are you doing this to me?


S. Berman




Dear Mr. Berman,


Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your 
room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance,
please call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.


Thank you,


Elaine Carmen,
Housekeeper



Dear Mr. Kensedder,


My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room including my own bath-size Dial. 

I came in late last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.


S. Berman




Dear Mr. Berman,


I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem. 

I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room. 

The situation will be rectified immediately. 

Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.


Martin L. Kensedder
Assistant Manager


Dear Mrs. Carmen,


Who @@@@ing left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? 

I came in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don’t want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my one @@@@ing bar of bath-size Dial.

Do you realize I have 54 bars of soap in here. All I want is my bath size Dial. Please give me back my bath-size Dial.


S. Berman


Dear Mr. Berman,


You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them removed.

Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so I personally returned them. 

The 24 Camays which had been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily. 

I don’t know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. 

Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. 

I don’t know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size Dial. 

I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I left in your room.


Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper




Dear Mrs. Carmen,

Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory. 

As of today I possess:
On the shelf under medicine cabinet – 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2..
On the Kleenex dispenser – 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3. 
On the bedroom dresser – 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1 stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.
Inside the medicine cabinet – 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
In the shower soap dish – 6 Camay, very moist.
On the northeast corner of tub – 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.
On the northwest corner of tub – 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.

Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted. 

Also, please advise her that stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. 

May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries.

One more item, I have purchased another bar of bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.


S. Berman

Two fellows were fishing from a dock when an alligator nipped one of them on the foot.

The fisherman screamed, ‘An alligator just bit off one of my toes.’ 

‘Which one?’ his buddy asked.

‘How do I know!’ the wounded angler friend said in disgust.

‘All alligators look alike to me!’

A young bride and groom to be had just selected the wedding ring. 

As the girl admired the plain platinum and diamond band, she suddenly looked concerned. “Tell me,” she asked the elderly salesman, “is there anything special I’ll have to do to take care of this ring?” 

With a fatherly smile, the salesman said, “One of the best ways to protect a wedding ring is to dip it in dishwater three times a day.” 

And that’s it for today my friends. Got this done just in time. Gotta fly. Love to you all!