Dragon Laffs #2054


It’s Saturday, you guys are reading the last Dragon Laffs, number 2053, and it’s thunder and lightning here all day long.  Makes for quite the spooky atmosphere.  But the dogs…oh my dear granny dragon…the poor dogs.  They HATE the the thunder.  We have these hemp infused doggy treats especially for when it thunders out, they each get five of them, so long story short, I now have two very stoned little dragons in the cavern who couldn’t give a damn if a tank drove through.

And that’s been my whole morning so far, so I decided, I’m going to start the next dragon laffs so that I can laugh.  

My brother, the Owl has sent me some absolutely hilarious YouTube videos that I’m going to share with you guys.  Some of you will like them some of you may not.  We’ll see when we get there.  And in the spirit of getting there…

So, I gather that Monkeypox is beginning to be a thing now.  No matter how much we believe that it’s not a thing.  According to what Izzy dragon read to me today, there are 16,000 cases with 5 deaths, in 75 different countries.  The WHO says it could be a problem.  I don’t know.  With a 0.03% fatality rate, that’s like 100 times less than COVID was at it’s worst.  And the vaccine for it, which the WHO, in the first and only recommendation that they have ever made that I agree with, does not recommend that anyone take, is the exact same vaccine as the small pox vaccine.  So, if you’ve been vaccinated for small pox, which I would assume that most of us are, you’ve already had the monkeypox vaccine.  So, as far as THIS dragon is concerned, it’s just another instance of them trying to distract us with their left hand to do something else with their right.

Me:  [Looking at a barn full of feed] Who’s all that for? 

Farmer:  The cattle eat it. 

Me:  Wow, that’s one hungry cat.

Okay, first of the YouTube links. If you are or were into D&D you will find this hilarious.  If you want more, go to YouTube and search for a crap guide to dungeons and dragons, there’s like 20 more!  This one is by far the longest, but they are all funny.

“It’s a lonely life…here on the edge, watching…guarding…protecting the realm.  Just me and … oh good, the pizza is here!”

Medusa looked at me in the eyes…

Joke’s on her.  I was already stoned.

And here’s the second YouTube.  This one is also Dungeon and Dragons related, but it’s a movie trailer for a movie coming out next March, starring Chris Pine.  From Capt. Kirk to a … well, I won’t spoil it for you.  But THIS Dragon is definitely going to the theater to see this one!!

Pool Party at My House Tomorrow. 

Bring the pool please.

Yeah, the Whelpling was a lot like that … or worse.

“We are marshaling the troops, Lord, to go and slay the evil dragon.”
“And which evil dragon are we facing today, Master at Arms?”
“The Evil Impish Dragon, M’Lord!”
“Fuck that!  Let’s go home!”

I decided to kill off a few characters in the book I’m writing.  I feel it will really spice up my autobiography.

Okay, and the final YouTube from the Owl is Game of Thrones orientated.  I have to warn you though, don’t watch this if you haven’t seen Game of Thrones and are still planning on watching because there are spoilers in it, but if you have watched it, you HAVE TO WATCH THIS IT IS HILARIOUS!!!  So… here you go..

Okay, I just noticed that this says Vol 1.  So, if we’re going to do this, let’s do this!

And finally, this one!!!!

Okay, so some of you are thinking THAT WAS AWESOME!  While others are saying, Well, there’s 30 minutes of my life I’ll never get back, and yet a few more are saying, videos?  What videos?  Anyway, I hope that you enjoyed are short little movie madness today, so now back to the memes!

You know me, if I ever win the Lottery, rest assured nobody around me will be poor, and I mean that.

I will move to a rich neighborhood.

My great-grandma started giggling at a barbecue and when I asked her what’s so funny, she said, “everyone here is alive because I got laid.”

I was going to post a joke about time travel.

But you guys didn’t like it.

People who say “Go Big or Go Home” seriously underestimate my willingness to go home.  Like, it’s literally my only goal.

Sasquatch, buddy!  Have I got some news for you!

And why, oh, why hasn’t EVERYBODY realized it yet?

Because both of those requests fit THEIR agenda!!

I couldn’t have said it better myself.

A PESSIMIST sees a dark tunnel. 

An OPTIMIST sees light at the end of the tunnel. 

A REALIST sees a freight train.

The TRAIN DRIVER sees 3 idiots standing on the tracks.

How Social Media Works

Me:  I prefer mangoes to oranges…

Random Person:  So basically, what you’re saying is that you hate oranges? You also failed to mention pineapples, bananas and grapefruits. Educate yourself.

Not just Social Media, but the Main Stream Media, too.

Yeah, yeah, but that’s what a LOT of crappy arthritis in your feet feels like ALL THE FRIGGIN’ TIME!!!

I had a GREAT time horseback riding today!

But then I ran out of quarters.

In today’s Last Word, we’ve got a very special essay sent into us by … well, you’ll see ..

If you never again read anything I post…read this!

(Friggin’) Pete

America has always been a beacon of hope and inspiration for the last two and a half centuries and a light that always shone. Now it is in danger of extinction from within.

IS THE SUN SETTING?

ONLY GOD KNOWS….

Author unknown

“Men, like nations, think they’re eternal. What man in his 20s or 30s doesn’t believe, at least subconsciously, that he’ll live forever In the springtime of youth, an endless summer beckons. As you pass 70, it’s harder to hide from reality.

Nations also have seasons: Imagine a Roman of the 2nd century contemplating an empire that stretched from Britain to the Near East, thinking: This will endure forever.. Forever was about 500 years, give or take.

France was pivotal in the 17th and 18th centuries; now the land of Charles Martel is on its way to becoming part of the Muslim ummah.

In the 19th and early 20th centuries, the sun never set on the British empire; now Albion exists in a perpetual twilight. Its 95-year-old sovereign is a fitting symbol for a nation in terminal decline.

In the 1980s, Japan seemed poised to buy the world. Business schools taught Japanese management techniques. Today, its birth rate is so low and its population aging so rapidly that an industry has sprung up to remove the remains of elderly Japanese who die alone.

I was born in 1942, almost at the midpoint of the 20th century – the American century. America’s prestige and influence were never greater. Thanks to the ‘Greatest Generation,’ we won a World War fought throughout most of Europe, Asia and the Pacific. We reduced Germany to rubble and put the rising sun to bed. It set the stage for almost half a century of unprecedented prosperity.

We stopped the spread of communism in Europe and Asia, and fought international terrorism. We rebuilt our enemies and lavished foreign aid on much of the world. We built skyscrapers and rockets to the moon. We conquered Polio and now COVID. We explored the mysteries of the Universe and the wonders of DNA.. the blueprint of life.

But where is the glory that once was Rome? America has moved from a relatively free economy to socialism – which has worked so well NOWHERE in the world.

We’ve gone from a republican government guided by a constitution to a regime of revolving elites. We have less freedom with each passing year, becoming more and more dependent upon a gov’t which can never provide for us. Like a signpost to the coming reign of terror, the cancel culture is everywhere. We’ve traded the American Revolution for the Cultural Revolution.

The pathetic creature in the White House is an empty vessel filled by his handlers. At the G-7 Summit, ‘Dr. Jill’ had to lead him like a child. In 1961, when we were young and vigorous, our leader was too. Now a feeble nation is technically led by the oldest man to ever serve in the presidency.

We can’t defend our borders, our history (including monuments to past greatness) or our streets. Our cities have become anarchist playgrounds. We are a nation of dependents, mendicants, and misplaced charity. Homeless veterans camp in the streets while illegal aliens are put up in hotels.

The president of the United States can’t even quote the beginning of the Declaration of Independence (‘You know – The Thing’) correctly. Ivy League graduates routinely fail history tests that 5th graders could pass a generation ago. Crime rates soar and we blame the 2nd. Amendment and slash police budgets.

Our culture is certifiably insane. Men who think they’re women. People who fight racism by seeking to convince members of one race that they’re inherently evil, and others that they are perpetual victims. A psychiatrist lecturing at Yale said she fantasizes about ‘unloading a revolver into the head of any white person.’

We slaughter the unborn in the name of freedom, while our birth rate dips lower year by year. Our national debt is so high that we can no longer even pretend that we will repay it one day. It’s a $28-trillion monument to our improvidence and refusal to confront reality. Our ‘entertainment’ is sadistic, nihilistic and as enduring as a candy bar wrapper thrown in the trash. Our music is noise that spans the spectrum from annoying to repulsive.

Patriotism is called insurrection, treason celebrated, and perversion sanctified. A man in blue gets less respect than a man in a dress. We’re asking soldiers to fight for a nation our leaders no longer believe in.

How meekly most of us submitted to Fauci-ism (the regime of face masks, lockdowns and hand sanitizers) shows the impending death of the American spirit.

How do nations slip from greatness to obscurity?

Fighting endless wars they can’t or won’t win • Accumulating massive debt far beyond their ability to repay • Refusing to guard their borders, allowing the nation to be inundated by an alien horde. Surrendering control of their cities to mob rule Allowing indoctrination of the young. Moving from a republican form of government to an oligarchy. Losing national identity. Indulging indolence. Abandoning faith and family – the bulwarks of social order.

In America, every one of these symptoms is pronounced, indicating an advanced stage of the disease.

Even if the cause seems hopeless, do we not have an obligation to those who sacrificed so much to give us what we had? I’m surrounded by ghosts urging me on: the Union soldiers who held Cemetery Ridge at Gettysburg, the battered bastards of Bastogne, those who served in the cold hell of Korea, the guys who went to the jungles of Southeast Asia and came home to be reviled or neglected.

This is the nation that took in my immigrant grandparents, whose uniform my father and most of my uncles wore in the Second World War. I don’t want to imagine a world without America, even though it becomes increasingly likely.

During Britain’s darkest hour, when its professional army was trapped at Dunkirk and a German invasion seemed imminent, Churchill reminded his countrymen, ‘Nations that go down fighting rise again, and those that surrender tamely are finished.’

The same might be said of causes. If we let America slip through our fingers, if we lose without a fight, what will posterity say of us?

While the prognosis is far from good, only God knows if America’s day in the sun is over.”

You will have to admit, that  every single thing that the author wrote is absolutely true. 

And that is it for today my friends.  If I want to get this out in time, I have to finish it now.  May your days be filled with love and happiness. Until we meet again.

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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #2054

  1. Leah D says:

    But wait! We began living here in 1492 . . . That’s 510 years. Puts us in Rome’s league.

  2. Leah D says:

    I am not a numbers person, but I do believe I remember “300” as being the number of years a teacher told me, (back when I was about 14 years old) that “is all any nation has ever survived”. I am 74 now, and our Country is 246 years old, right?
    Considering each year we move faster and faster, will we even make it to 300?

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