Dragon Laffs #2021

So, it’s Friday, you haven’t even read Saturday’s issue yet and I’m starting on Monday’s.  Now, mind you, it’s LATE on Friday night, but Izzy and I have got plans for Sunday, so this issue must be done no later than Saturday or you guys don’t get an issue on Monday. 

See, Sunday is Mother’s Day and both Izzy Dragon and I DO NOT want to be overly burdened with reminders of that, therefore, we will be doing a … 

I have recently found out that my little dragon has never seen any of the Lord of the Ring movies nor read any of the books.  So, Sunday I am going to drown her in it.  It should be lots of fun.

Anyway, let’s get some laughter started and we’ll do some talking as we go along.

One minute you’re 21, staying up all night drinking beer, eating pizza and doing sketchy stuff just for fun. 

THEN… in a blink of an eye you’re 60, drinking water, eating kale, and you can’t do any sketchy stuff, because you pulled a muscle putting on your socks.

Onion rings are vegetable donuts.

If a cookie falls on the floor and you pick it up … that’s a squat, right?

Sometimes actions shots are the best.

You know you’re getting older when a recliner and a heating pad is your idea of a hot date.

My wife asked me why I spoke so softly in the house.  I said I was afraid Mark Zuckerberg was listening in!  
She laughed.
I laughed.
Alexa laughed.
Siri laughed.

John is having a bad day.

He tried to button his shirt and the button fell off. 

He picked up his briefcase and the handle fell off.

He went to open the door and the doorknob fell off.

Now he’s afraid to pee.

“I’m off to work.  See you this evening when I get home!”

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who is next.

I’m at that age where my mind still thinks I’m 29, my humor suggests I’m 12 while my body mostly keeps asking if I’m sure I’m not dead yet.

I got a call from a telemarketer and he said he couldn’t understand me.  I told him to press 1 for English.

I’m not much on seizing the day.  I just kinda poke it with a stick.

If you want someone to listen to you, start the conversation with, “I shouldn’t be telling you this…”

Okay, so not much to write about in between the humor, but I did get it done in time for Izzy Dragon and mine’s movie marathon.  May your weekend be as good as mine hopes to be.  Love and happiness to you and yours.

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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #2021

  1. Leah D says:

    Oh, did you see the headlines that covid ages the brain 10 years?

  2. Leah D. says:

    I have only seen one of Harry Potters movies, and None of the Twilight series. Too late for me to try a marathon . . . I’d just fall asleep.

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