Dragon Laffs #2020

Okay, so I’ve been starting this off lately with things that have been going wrong.  And I’d like to change that.  As you know, last week I spent Thursday evening in the Emergency Room.  That was one week ago today (as I’m writing this, not as you guys are reading this) and some significant things have taken place since then. 

First of all, I stopped taking the antidepressants cold turkey … You can’t do that Impish!  Well, I did.  My doctor said that I could try a different one and I said no. 

Secondly, I am forcing myself to eat regular, or at least semi-regular meals.  The problem is, that I really just don’t give a shit about eating.  I’m continuing to lose weight, probably too much weight too fast and it might be hurting me.  So, I’ve decided to try to eat better, if not well.   

Thirdly, I got a VERY special comment from Marsha that, before you go looking for it, was so special and so personal, I didn’t approve (did you guys know that I have to approve every comment?) and deleted and answered her in an email and rambled on quite a while, that really touched me quite deeply.

Fourthly, on Wednesday I had one of the best conversations with my counselor/therapist that I’ve had.  I left feeling better about things than I have felt since my dearest passed.  My heart was lifted, at least a little bit and consequently, Wednesday night, when I slept, I actually dreamed, for the first time since.  I dreamed and remembered that I dreamed, which means I attained REM sleep, which means I actually GOT REST!  A true accomplishment. 

Which means lastly, I am actually feeling better today, Thursday, then I have felt since … well … in a really long, long time.  I have no worries about Mrs. Dragon’s health and medical bills (more about that in a second) and well, my (somewhat) positive attitude is starting to return and I feel pretty good today.  More clear headed and stuff than I felt in a long time. 

Now, Izzy Dragon and I were at the hospital the other day getting her some routine lab work done and I stopped in at the financial office and asked about remaining bills for Mrs. Dragon since I haven’t received the spectacular medical bill for her ICU stay yet and I was told that there is still a $34,000 bill out there waiting at my insurance company to be paid.  And I know what the hold up is, the short story is they are idiots and there is no need to go into a longer explanation because you wouldn’t believe it other than the fact that they’re an insurance company so you WOULD believe it, so even if my part is just 10%, which you know will be MORE than that … well … let’s just say that me and the hospital are going to have to come to some sort of an understanding.  Plus my hip surgery is next month, so you know there will be co-pays with that … BUT, I’m going to stick by the same guns I always stuck by (and now I’m going to cry), God has ALWAYS made sure that WE had a way through, one way or another.  And even though I still don’t know WHY he took my Mary from me, I know that He only wants what’s best for me.  Like any Father would for His child.  Just like I KNOW He is not going to have a way forward for me now. 

So, much better times and spirits today, so why don’t we celebrate with some laughter and bring a little of that joy and splendor into other people’s lives?  And thanks, Marsha.

I’ve convinced the youngster at work the very same thing.

Let me tell you something…

People think that cloning is easy, but bringing back that furry, extinct elephant would be a mammoth project.

I ordered a hot fudge sundae one time at DQ and said I wanted extra hot fudge and the guy said it only came in one temperature.

I love when someone takes an every day product and does an outstandingly out-of-bounds review!  If you think this one was good, stay tuned for a few more that are coming up!

Oh, and you can thank Dearest Stephanie for sending these in!

A Sunday School teacher asked the children, “Who was upset that the younger brother had returned?” 

One of the children answered, “The fattened calf.”

When you and your bros all still have their work clothes on and stop at the bar on the way home from work.

If alcohol can cause damage to short term memory…

imagine the damage alcohol can do.

Please don’t ride with me if you’re going to grab the dash or scream every time we run off the road.  It makes me nervous.

Not that I had any doubt in MY mind…

…but the poster does make it easier to point out to other people.

And the girls still dressed in their work clothes at the bar…

And the ambulance only took 15 minutes to arrive.

I’m not sure I believe all this stuff about genetically modified food being bad for you. 

I just had a really tasty leg of salmon and I feel fine…

I’m not saying I don’t like you…

…I’m saying I would unplug your life support to make a pot of coffee

I came from a generation where “Keep Talking” meant you better shut up!

Yup, I know we just did one, but it was a different list.

What did E.T.’s mother say to him when he got home?

“Where on Earth have you been?!”

This one is from Jonathon and it’s called Understanding Father…

A young co-ed in her sophomore year of college was sitting in the library, recapping her sex life to her friends over text.

She wrote out a long text explaining her escapades–how she met this guy and went over to his place at 3 am, how they hooked up, etc. And then pressed send – only to look down and realize she had sent it to her mom instead of her friend, Monica (Mom and Monica are dangerously close together in her phone book, apparently).

She immediately sent her mother a text, telling her not to read it, but it was too late. She already had. She obviously went straight to her dad to tell him what I was up to at college and how horrified she was.

His answer: ‘She’s just young!’


And that my dear friends brings us to the close of another issue.  Too soon done.  Much love and happiness to you all until we meet again.

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4 Responses to Dragon Laffs #2020

  1. Marsha Mastrangelo says:

    I recently had a friend give me an Ancestry DNA test as a gift. My mother died when I was 10 and there is no one left to ask questions….but you just told me I’m part dragon! I fit all those you have listed!

  2. Hank says:

    Eye have the addiction….to Dragon stuff. Better than stuff doc gave me to undepress me.

  3. reijo says:

    Impish: Glad to hear you are doing better.

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