Dragon Laffs #2017

And it’s Thursday, the Gateway to the weekend.  One more day of work and then the weekend is here!  I’d say I can hardly wait, but … I really can.  Wait that is.  I have no plans and I think I need some.  Sometimes the weekends are the hardest.  But, for now, I guess it’s just you and me.  So, let’s put some laughter down, shall we?

Just a gentle reminder that not every day “has to count”.  Some days are about just making it to the next one.  That counts, too.

The fitness trainer asked me, “What kind of squat are you accustomed to doing?” 

I said, “Diddly.”

We live in a world where your kid cannot pretend to be an Indian.  But a grown man can pretend to be a woman.

Best friends forever.

I just got a full tank of gas for $22.  Granted, it was for my lawn mower, but I am trying to stay positive here.

I’ve always wondered if songbirds get mad at hummingbirds for not knowing the words.

Please do not wear flip flops if your feet look like you could swoop out of the sky and snatch your dinner from a lake.

Pest Extermination is one of the more difficult professions at Dragon Laffs, Inc.

I’ve never related more to a news story than the lost hiker who didn’t pick up for rescuers because it was an unknown number.

I completely empathize with this pooch!

I can’t believe it either.

They say, “Don’t try this at home” so I’m coming over to your house to try it.

The number of people who confuse “to” and “too” is amazing two me.

The truth behind the sinking of the Titanic.

Musicians are just therapists that you can party with.

Me:  Can I drink alcohol on this medication? 

Doctor:  Well, one drink is gonna feel like you’ve had 4 … 

Me:  Oh, so I’m saving money!!

One who points out your flaws is not necessarily your enemy; the one who always compliments you is not necessarily your friend.

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actress…

Two little boys were at a wedding when one leaned over to the other and asked, “How many wives can a man have?” 

His friend answered, “Sixteen…four better, four worse, four richer, and four poorer.”

Mom:  If a stranger came up to you and said, “I’m your mom’s friend, she told me to pick you up.” What would you say? 

Kid:  I’d say, “You’re lying.  My mom has no friends.” 

Mom:  Not where I was going, but OK.

Helen Waite is in charge of our complaint department.  If you have a complaint you can go to Helen Waite!

And that’s it for today my friends.  Love and happiness to you all.

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3 Responses to Dragon Laffs #2017

  1. Leah D says:

    C’mon all you Dragon Laffs guys! Do those horribly huge and ugly boobs turn you on?

  2. Cynical John says:

    I agree. Impish, lots of times, you make my day!

  3. jhjoseph says:

    Terrific compilation of funny material. Thanks.

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