Dragon Laffs #2016


Well, I spent the day teaching today … and … I ended up doing something to my damn hip.  Screwed it up bad.  To the point that I can barely walk.  The problem is that I’m not sure how the hell I did it.  No twisting, no falling, no hurting…it just sort of started.  And it got worse and worse until I could barely walk.  Now, it is hurting the heck out of me…and it sucks! 

So, naturally, what we need to do is laugh. 

As hard and as long as we can. 

We laugh so we don’t have to cry.

Girls should stop saying “All men are the same”.  No one asked you to try them all.

Today I tried non-alcoholic beer…

it was like watching porn on the radio.

The next person who walks out of my life, I’m going with them. 

I’m sick of my shit, too.

Makes perfect sense…

Even best friends don’t see eye-to-eye all the time.

We need to see THAT sign in the window of more stores.

LUV THE IRISH 🍀

A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by an Elderly Irish cop.

He thinks that he is smarter than the old cop because he is a lawyer from LONDON and is certain that he has a better education than any Irish cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Irish cop’s expense!

The old Irish cop says, “License and registration, please.”

London Lawyer says, “What for?”

Irish cop says, “Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign.”

London Lawyer says, “I slowed down, and no one was coming.”

The old Irish cop says, “Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. License and registration, please”

London Lawyer says, “What’s the difference?”

Irish cop says, “The difference is, ye huvte come to complete stop, that’s the law. License and registration, please!”

London Lawyer says, “If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I’ll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don’t give me the ticket.”

The old cop says, “Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir.”

The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.

The od cop takes out his baton and starts beating the living shit out of the lawyer and says, “Daeye want me to stop or just slow down?”

It is a beautiful frame.

Let’s do some of this…

kris72663

6 days ago

Dragon Laffs #2013

I’m a big proponent of antidepressants. There’s nothing wrong with admitting you need help. Nobody is saying you have to stay on them forever. There are newer meds out there – much better than Prozac. The meds will help you get over the hump. Think about it.

Thanks Kris, as I think I mentioned, as of your reading of this I’ve been on the new meds for almost a week now.  I haven’t noticed any improvement, but I guess I’m not supposed to for a couple more weeks yet.  So … good fun.  I’ll let you guys know how it’s going.

Hippogal

3 days ago

Dragon Laffs #2014

Hang in there, Dragon.
Love and respect from Australia. ❤

Thanks Hippogal.  Another Aussie heard from!  I truly appreciate the encouraging words.  Cheers!

Leah D.

3 days ago

Dragon Laffs #2014

DIY WARNING!
Had to buy a new water heater, which my husband has done many times over the years, hauled it home and installed it.
I told him he is too old, so this time, have them deliver and put in. They said $900 for heater, $700 for install.
$3,099.00 later, we learned the codes had changed over the years he did it himself, now we had to put in bigger vent pipes, more earthquake straps, and other things I couldn’t understand.
I’m back in hot water . . . with the bank this time!

Oh Dear Leah, it’s always something exciting with you!  I’m sorry it went such an expensive route and I really can’t think of a silver lining except that now it’s done.  Be well dear friend.

Boy, that’s true, enough!

John S. sent me this really humorous article that he found on MSN titled: 

Massachusetts Man Convicted For Backyard Helicopter Operation

With traffic congestion a real problem, people can get pretty creative so they don’t have to sit on crowded roadways. Lest you think buying a helicopter and flying it out of your backyard is a good solution, learn from the mistakes of a man in East Brookfield, Massachusetts who got caught doing just that. Now he’s paying the price for not following federal aviation rules.  

Read the rest of the article here: https://www.msn.com/en-us/travel/news/massachusetts-man-convicted-for-backyard-helicopter-operation/ar-AAW6Jxj?ocid=msedgdhp&pc=U531&cvid=836cc6e4ee4a418a969fd0be990b9d45

Now THAT is a friggin’ KITE!!

Charlie’s Angels ain’t got shit on Impish’s Dragonettes!

Someone said, “30 years ago”, and my mind went “Ah yes!  The 1970’s”, but they meant 1992, and now I need to lie down.

I want to thank my parents for not letting me pick my gender while I was still eating Crayons, Glue, and Dog Food.

Police have confirmed that the man who tragically fell from the roof of an 18th floor Nightclub was not a bouncer.

Yup, that’s me!

Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar…

You can’t tell me that’s a coincidence!

Ladies, don’t embarrass a guy by telling him his fly is open.  Be a strong, confident woman, walk over and zip it up for him.

Guaranteed you are going to get some unusual looks…at a minimum!

Not a fucking chance in hell…

Coke Zero is fine, but I’d really like to see Double Chocolate Milkshake with Extra Whipped Cream and Rainbow Sprinkles Zero.

That’s it for today.  God Bless you all.  Love and Happiness your way.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s