Dragon Laffs #1956 – Okay, so I really tried …


Good Morning Campers, 

I’ve tried to be good.  I really have.  But, I can’t keep my mouth shut over this one.  I could just cry I’m so frustrated.  The Biden administration is making plans to pay illegal immigrants that were separated from their families $450,000 per person.  Which means almost a million dollars at a minimum for a parent separated from a child. 

FOR BREAKING THE LAW! 

For Coming here illegally. 

If you do that in any other country the BEST you can hope for is to be put in jail, here you get to be a millionaire. 

And that’s my money and your money. 

That’s more money than the family of a military member who is killed in action gets.  That’s topped off at $400,000.  That’s more money then most of the 911 families received.  And yes, I know, that was caused by another country, but I’m just using that as a comparison. 

So, an illegal alien is more important to our current government administration than an American servicemember who gives his life for his country.  Someone who is willing to sneak into this country against the law, steal our stuff, break our laws, is worth more to our president, than an honorable American who makes the ultimate sacrifice and lay down his life to protect his friends, family and loved ones … and YOUR friends, family and loved ones back home. 

THAT IS WHAT OUR PRESIDENT THINKS OF YOU! 

Just another example of him putting America LAST … AGAIN! 

As a Veteran this turns my stomach.  As an American citizen this turns my stomach.  And as a taxpayer, this pisses me off!  You are using MY money to reward lawbreakers.  Why don’t you just pay car thieves to steal cars or arsonists to burn shit down?  It’s the same damn thing! 

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THEM!?!?  If this, alone, is not a clear enough sign for impeachment then I don’t know what is. 

Okay … 

I’m done … 

Ready to weep in my whiskey, but I’m done. 

So, let’s get this laughter going then, shall we?  Cause I think we need it.  Well, I do, anyway.  

A belly button is basically a scar from when you got into a knife fight with a guy in a mask after being evicted from your first place.

Remember:  When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants so it is illegal to dig it up. 

Follow me for more gardening tips.

I don’t understand why we spend so much on clothes to impress someone we want to be naked with. 

This is total nonsense.

I was born a male and I identify as a male, but according to Stouffer’s Lasagna, I’m a family of 4.

“What do you mean, you’ve been trying to reach me about my car’s warranty?”

Way to go, Frank!

My boyfriend hates it when I shorten his name to Dick. 

Especially since his name is Steve.

Last night my neighbors kept me up with the headboard banging.  I finally yelled, “The guy last night made her scream louder.”  That shut them up.

If she admits she’s wrong, apologizes, and agrees to change her ways, dump her immediately.  Because that might be a man.  Women don’t do that.

Okay, what the hell is that keeping you from doing?  All I can think of is opening canned food.  Is Popeye the only one who has to worry?  And is it worth the $500 to stop Brutus and protect Olive Oyl?

“Why?  What did YOU dress up for Halloween as?”

 

When I see ads on TV with smiling, happy housewives using a new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy is the medication they must be on.

I really don’t mind getting older, but my body is taking it badly.

Getting older is just one body part after another saying, “Ha, ha!  You think that’s bad?  Watch this!”

That would actually be funny, if it weren’t so damn true.

You call it OCD. 

I call it put the shit back where you found it.

Grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change. 

The courage to change direction when I see them coming. 

And the wisdom to not try to smack some sense into them when I can’t avoid them. 

Amen!

You can’t get mad at people who suck the life out of you if you keep giving them the straw.

Person:  I like your name.  

Me:  Thanks, I got it for my birthday.

I’ve been sent an awful lot of these the last couple of days but I won’t put them all in here right now because that would just overwhelm you guys.  But it’s amazing how they accumulate.

I just found a document that says all of our restrictions have been lifted, and we are all free…it’s pretty old though…dated 1776…

Some of the biggest cases of mistaken identity are among politicians. 

They have a lot of trouble remembering that they are not God!

And I’m going to finish today off with some last minute Halloween images that were seen last night…

That sounds truly disgusting!

Thanks Aussie Pete and thanks to all of you who contributed to this episode of Dragon Laffs and who have sent in all the stuff you have sent to me.  May your coming days be filled with love and happiness and may you not eat too much candy.

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1 Response to Dragon Laffs #1956 – Okay, so I really tried …

  1. Hank H says:

    I couldn’t agree more with your opening statement

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