Dragon Laffs #1957 – They are really beginning to chap my hind quarters!


Good Morning Campers, 

Tuesday night, during the minor elections … well, I shouldn’t say minor, because they were quite important to the states that were running them … the leftist pundits on the MSNBC were practically in tears with the Republican wins that were going on.  They were making ALL kinds of excuses, from what I understand, I say from what I understand because I was quite busy throwing darts at the time and picked up what I saw next from video taped copies just a little while ago. 

Anyway, the clip that I saw showed Joy Reid from MSNBC who was blaming one of the loses on and I’m quoting here because I had to replay the video several times to get the wording exactly right: “It was ‘education’ (and she used air quotes around the word education) … let me start again, so you get the full impact of her bullshit … “It was ‘education’, which is code for white parents don’t like the idea of teaching about race.”  No, “Ms. Reid”, which is code for intelligent people who think you are a blathering idiot, it has nothing to do with teaching about race and everything to do with teaching our children reading, writing, and arithmetic and NOT teaching them that they are inherently evil because they were born a certain color.  Isn’t that the same racism that you are so adamantly against?  Yup.  You insufferable, disgusting racist.  Telling parents that they do not have the right to tell school boards what they should be teaching their children is WRONG!  And parents, School boards are elected positions, you don’t like who’s on the school boards, get rid of their asses and elect someone else! 

“Education” is code for white parents don’t like the idea of teaching about race!  Have you ever heard anything so asinine in your entire life!  I don’t watch MSNBC or CNN because I think it’s a load of horse crap served up by people who should be ashamed of themselves for spewing such lies and self-serving non-sense, but we used to have laws put in place by the FCC.  Shouldn’t they put stations like that off the air for hazardous communication or fouling the airwaves or indecency or something?  Come on! 

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got for this morning that’s stuck in my craw.  I think we ought to get on with the laughs at this point.    

I see a lot of really good and scary stuff on China that I can’t share with you, so when someone sends me something that’s open source (that means out in the public) that’s good and worth reading, I have to pass it on.  This is well worth reading and you guys should really take heed.  I don’t know that there’s anything that can be done about it … but it’s still worth reading.  Especially since we all know who’s in bed with China.  Thanks to Sasquatch for passing this along. 

A very sobering message, especially to politicians. Real Time” host Bill Maher closed his show Friday night by sounding the alarm on China’s growing dominance over the United States.
 
“You’re not going to win the battle for the 21st century if you are a silly people. And Americans are a silly people,” Maher began the monologue, alluding to a “Lawrence of Arabia” quote.
 
Do you know who doesn’t care that there’s a stereotype of a Chinese man in a Dr. Seuss book? China,” he said. “All 1.4 billion of them couldn’t give a crouching tiger flying f— because they’re not a silly people. If anything, they are as serious as a prison fight.”
 
Maher acknowledged that China does “bad stuff” from the concentration camps of Uyghur Muslims to its treatment of Hong Kong. But he stressed, “There’s got to be something between an Authoritarian Government that tells everyone what to do and a representative Government that can’t do anything at all.”
 
“In two generations, China has built 500 entire cities from scratch, moved the majority of their huge population from poverty to the middle class, and mostly cornered the market in 5G and pharmaceuticals. Oh, and they bought Africa,” Maher said, pointing to China’s global Silk Road infrastructure initiative. He continued: “In China alone, they have 40,000 kilometers of high-speed rail. America has none. … We’ve been having Infrastructure Week every week since 2009 but we never do anything. Half the country is having a never-ending woke competition deciding whether Mr. Potato Head has a d— and the other half believes we have to stop the lizard people because they’re eating babies. We are a silly people.
 
“Nothing ever moves in this impacted colon of a country. We see a problem and we ignore it, lie about it, fight about it, endlessly litigate it, Sunset Clause it, kick it down the road, and then write a Bill where a half-assed solution doesn’t kick in for 10 years,” Maher explained.
 
“China sees a problem and they fix it. They build a dam. We debate what to rename it.”
 
Then he cited how it took “ten years” for a bus line in San Francisco to pass its environmental review and how it took “16 years” to build the Big Dig tunnel in Boston, comparing that to a 57-story skyscraper that China built in “19 days” and Beijing’s Sanyuan Bridge, which was demolished and rebuilt in “43 hours.”
 
“We binge-watch, they binge-build. When COVID hit Wuhan, the city built a quarantine center with 4,000 rooms in 10 days and they barely had to use it because they quickly arrested the rest of the disease,” Maher said. “They were back to throwing raves in swimming pools while we were stuck at home surfing the dark web for black market Charmin.
 
We’re not losing to China, we lost. The returns just haven’t all come in yet. They’ve made robots that check a kid’s temperature and got their asses back in school. Most of our kids are still pretending to take Zoom classes while they watch TikTok and their brain cells fully commit ritual suicide.”
 
Maher then blasted Democratic New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio, accusing him of degrading school standards by eliminating merit and substituting a lottery system for admittance to schools for advanced learners.
 
“Do you think China’s doing that, letting political correctness get in the way of nurturing their best and brightest?” Maher continued. “Do you think Chinese colleges are offering courses in ‘The Philosophy of Star Trek, ‘The Sociology of Seinfeld,’ and ‘Surviving the Coming Zombie Apocalypse’? Those are real and so is China. And they are eating our lunch. And believe me, in an hour, they’ll be hungry again.”

 

Who left the bag of idiots open?

Police have reported a man going into local craft stores dipping his testicles in glitter. 

It’s pretty nuts.

Never heard a female say, “I had a good man, but I fucked up …”  Y’all never do nothing wrong, huh?

“Daddy, I found him and I fed him, can I now keep him?”

Let’s do a little mail while we have the time, shall we? 

Pete

If I am “one of your more saner voices of reason” you are indeed in trouble!

And just so the rest of you know, that was “Friggin’ Pete who sent that last one, and yeah Pete … scary as that is, you really are.  He also writes: 

You are welcome, Impish, thank you for your words. I have been on the net since 1996, had my own e-zine, ran a couple of groups, was a mod in a couple and have seen a lot of things I wish I would have keep. As I get older, a lot of them would have meant more to me now but, once in a while I find stuff hidden that I have kept and will send them to you when I find them. I love that you use so much that I send and that you like my writings. Thank you!
Friggin Pete  

Yup, that’s the way this whole thing works, my friend.  I share with you, you share with me, we all share with each other and all our lives are richer for it. 

dowchuckil

another really good ‘un ! thanx dragon man.  

Thank you, dear friend!

Hank H

I couldn’t agree more with your opening statement  

Thanks Hank!  I got more messages and I actually got a message from WordPress saying that that particular issue was either the highest viewed or one of the highest viewed of all times, and I think it must have been because of my opening.  I think I hit an awful lot of people’s hot button with that one and it either got passed around … a lot or replayed somewhere.  Who knows.  I do it for you guys.  That’s all that matters.

 

 

If war breaks out between India and Pakistan, who will answer the phone at the call center?

I Googled, “Who Gives a Shit?” 

My name wasn’t in the search results. 

I cannot verify the truth of this next statement, but it is CERTAINLY worth thinking about!

Do not fuck with a woman who can do shots of tequila without cringing.  She’s the type who will fight you with one titty out in front of the police.

Brothers-In-Arms

You can’t leave those who created the problem in charge of the solution.

This one goes out to my Essential Oil Friends …

Which oil calms household family members down? 

Chloroform? 

It is Chloroform, isn’t it?

I USED TO DRINK

… but that was hours ago.

I hate when Walmart doesn’t have what I need and I have to go home, change out of my pajamas and take a shower so I can go to Target.

You guys have overwhelmed me with political stuff!  I’m gonna throw a few extras in today to make some room, but … keep them coming!!!!

President Biden visits a remote Native American reservation.  With news crews following him around as they tour the place, the President asks the chief if there was anything they need. 

“Well,” says the chief, “We have three very important needs. First, we have a medical clinic, but no doctor to man it.”  Biden whips out his cellphone, dials a number, talks to somebody for two minutes, and then hangs up. “I’ve pulled some strings. Your doctor will arrive in a few days.”

“Now what was the second problem?”

“We have no way to get clean water. The local mining operation has poisoned the water our people have been drinking for thousands of years.  We’ve been flying bottled water in, and it’s terribly expensive.” 

Once again, Biden dials a number, yells into the phone for a few minutes, and then hangs up. “The mine has been shut down, and the owner is being billed for setting up a purification plant for your people.”

 “Now what was that third problem?”  The chief looks at him and says, “We have no cellphone reception up here!”

I don’t get nearly enough credit in life for the things I manage not to say. 

~ Meg Rosoff

If things get real bad and you have to resort to cannibalism remember: Vegans First.  They’re the closest thing to grass fed.

The jobs we have to do sometimes…

And that’s it… May your day be filled with love and happiness.

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3 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1957 – They are really beginning to chap my hind quarters!

  1. dowchuckil says:

    my buddies and buddesses wonder where i get this schtuff that i forward to them.

  2. Friggin Pete says:

    “Yup, that’s the way this whole thing works, my friend. I share with you, you share with me, we all share with each other and all our lives are richer for it.”

    Yup and that is why you get so much back that you already posted, I steal from you too then send them out in emails.. LOL

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