Dragon Laffs #1943


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Good Morning Campers,

Just another lazy Sunday morning here at Casa de Dragon.  And boy do I need one.  It feels like it’s been forever since I’ve had a day to just sit around and do nothing at all.  And that’s exactly what I plan to do today.  Nothing but sit here, write to you guys, laugh a little, maybe watch some TV.  Take Willow out a dozen times or so.  Boy, is she a pill.  I’m not really sure what bug has gotten up here ass, but Izzy Dragon left her backpack that she uses for work on one of the chairs in the living room last night when she went up for bed and Willow has determined that it is some sort of intruder and has stopped throughout the morning to bark at it…over and over and over again.  Then she’ll go back to playing or sleeping or whatever it was she was doing and then later she’ll spot it again and go back to barking at it again.  It is absolutely hilarious. 

Oh, and she loves to eat crickets.  I had to look up on line to make sure that they weren’t going to make her sick or anything because that has become her favorite outdoor activity.  Hunting and eating crickets.  And Lord knows there’s enough of them in the back yard for her to hunt down.  That and chasing the little white butterflies.  Those, she has a little more trouble catching.  Her favorite indoor activity?  Helping me with Dragon Laffs.  Which means it takes me roughly twice as long to put out an issue now as it used to.  LOL!  Now … if I only had twice as much time, that would be great.

So, what do you say we get to the good stuff, shall we?

Lets laugh

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Oh … by the way … those of you who were sending an email to impishdragon@gmail.com and getting a message about the mailbox being full … that problem has been fixed.  I had a clog in the delete drain that has been fixed.  Thanks to Leah for pointing it out to me.

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1822

Posted a photo of my clean house and it was flagged and removed as “Fake News”

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1824

Yeah … it’s on the Christmas wish list

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Dragons

103

Sometimes those midnight snacks are the best.

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Fantasy

18

“Wanna go swimming?”

Yeah, I know it’s lame, but I couldn’t think of anything else.

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1832

That’s wrong in SO MANY ways.

Was in the pub a few months ago with my mate and these four huge bastards started mouthing off at us.  “Pretend we’re the police,” my mate said.

I only got half way through the first verse of Roxanne before they kicked the shit out of us.

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Motivational

Happiness 15

Happiness is not

Have you ever been so angry

Have you ever been so drunk

Have you ever been so mad

Have you ever been so mad2

have-you-ever-been-so-angry-thumb

He died fighting

He is not

1838

1839

Why should the number 288 never be mentioned in company?

Because it is two gross.

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What has four letters,

sometimes has nine letters,

but never has five.

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Interesting Trivia

Owls’ ears are placed asymmetrically –

at different heights on the sides of their faces –

so sound reaches each ear at different times.

This is essential to identify the exact direction of their prey.

1844

1845

Success is relative – The more success, the more relatives!

1846

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A mate and I were walking past a poster on the local library wall.

It featured a photo of Einstein with the words

“Even Einstein reads books.”
My friend was amazed, he said …..

“I didn’t know Einstein’s first name was Even.”

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I went to see a psychic who was in a bad mood …

Then I saw a clairvoyant who was really grumpy.

I’m just trying to find a happy medium.

1850

I have some significant questions …

1851

I’m writing a book in the fifth person … So, every sentence starts out with: “I heard from this guy’s cousin who told somebody’s girlfriend …”

1852

So … you think the Army isn’t ready?

1853

The dog lied … and is now laughing his ass off.

Some people say, “Ignorance is bliss.”  I wouldn’t know about that.

1854

And if you don’t get this one, you are way too young.

1855

As soon as someone invents a time machine, I’m going back to when being fat and pale was a sign of nobility.

 

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A little boy has diarrhea and says to his mom, “I need some Viagra.”

Mom says, “Why?”

Little boy says, “Isn’t that what you give dad when his shit won’t get hard?”

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Politics

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I remember a man who said, “We need to close our borders.”
I remember a man who said, “We need to bring our businesses home.”
I remember a man who said, “We need to become less dependent on other countries to survive.”
I remember a man who said, “We need to take care of America first!!!”

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If you vote democrat after all this is over then you really are just an idiot!

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A dog had his chain reduced one link at a time, every few days, until his chain was so short he could barely move.  He never resisted because he was conditioned to the loss of his freedom slowly, over time.  It’s happening to Americans right now.

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And that’s it for today my friends.  Love and happiness to you all, enjoy your week until we meet again.  Cheers

Impish Dragon

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1 Response to Dragon Laffs #1943

  1. Leah D says:

    Purple Haze . . . that’s what I have left over from Covid.

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