Dragon Laffs #1942


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Good Morning Campers,

So, a couple of things this morning.  First of all, the mini dragon training is going well.  Willow is learning things.  We took our first road trip yesterday.  Pepper (our other little friend) had a Vet appointment, so we decided to take Willow with us.  Willow pretty much couldn’t have cared less, she curled up on the back seat and fell asleep and slept pretty much the whole time.  Actually, that’s a good thing that she is so comfortable in the car.  So, I’m going to take her on more road trips so she stays comfortable.

We have also gone now three days (I think) with no accidents in the house and we are beginning to pick up on her cues of when she has to go.

So, that’s the Willow update.

Now, the Aussie Pete update.  Pete replied right away to my request for a status check:


Aussie Pete

Hi, Aussie Pete is doing O.K. I live in Queensland which has been fairly free of covid, earthquakes and idiot protesters, because our Premier has closed our southern border and won’t let any of these into our beautiful state. I’ve had my two jabs of Astra so I guess my chances of getting the virus is reduced, and if I did cop it hopefully not as severely as needing hospital care. So, all in all mate, I’m living the dream. Give Willow a pat for me. Keep smiling. A.P.

Thanks Pete!  Glad you are happy and healthy.

And I hope that all the rest of you are doing just as well, now let’s get started on the laughter and we’ll hit more mail in a little bit.

Lets Laugh

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Okay, since we’re already here, let’s intersperse some mail for now.  Marsha writes…


Dear Dragon,

If I survived covid , been tested and have high antibodies, can I now identify as vaccinated? Asking for health care worker that doesn’t want shot, and can’t afford to not work.

Marsha

Dear Marsh,

Males are identifying as females; females as males; Given half a chance, I’m pretty sure that Izzy Dragon would identify as a bowl of mac and cheese as much of it as she eats.  Biden identifies as a President … and Pelosi has been identifying as a human being for years.  So, yeah, I don’t see a problem with your friend identifying as vaccinated.  But sadly, it’s not up to me and I’m afraid they are going to run into some problems with their employers.

Cheers,

Impish Dragon

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Geez!  That’s pretty generous.  20 children is a bit much even for me.

And this next one is from our own dear Stephanie in reply to John S’s comment from a couple of issues ago. 

Apparently John S. has never been to New Orleans.
The French Quarter is on high ground and it, along with the Garden District, did not flood during hurricane Katrina. There is no other place like it. Historical, haunted, festive, Creole food, a melting pot of French, Italian, English, African, Haitian, many different tribes of Indian, Swamps, bayous, rivers, creeks. Horse drawn carriages, street performers, magicians, jazz bands, riverboats, St. Louis Cathedral, the French market.
Come spend a weekend and see if you can see why it has value.

Okay, but don’t just pick on John S.  I also said that I didn’t understand why people would build a city that far below sea level.  And can’t you have all those things on higher ground?  I understand it’s a wonderful place … but it floods every couple of years.  It reminds me of people who live in the desert.  Why?  Move somewhere else.  You can still have the same things you have where you are, just someplace better.  Love you Steph, but it never makes sense to me for people to live someplace where it floods all the time.

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Active policy statement?  The name of the town?  I’m not sure, but there is definitely a story here.

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Is there any of the old free coffee left?

Leah D Writes:453

Wondering . . . you speak of HazMat outfits, I read this morning that one ICU nurse ended up with serious bladder problems because it was too much trouble and took too much time to get out and back into the HazMat outfits they have to wear on the covid floors. Knowing how easy it is for a male, compared to a female, did they make any special changes in female versions of the HazMat you wear?
What do you mean there isn’t any specific male/female outfits?

Here is an individual in a correct MOPP 4 ensemble.  There is no difference between the male and female outfits.  No, it’s not easy to relieve yourself while “MOPPed out” but not THAT hard.  I know your ICU nurse was not wearing anything as difficult as our MOPP gear so I suspect that her main problem wasn’t that it was too much trouble or took too much time, but either laziness on her part or poor 454management on the facilities part.

No, it’s not easy.  Even if she is in level A protection (Which I also have to wear at times and looks like this to the left) you can take the time to get out of it and take care of yourself.  You HAVE to take the time to get out of it and take care of yourself.

So, in MY opinion … and it is my opinion … there is a disconnect somewhere.  And with the fact that there is a huge problem right now with staffing, it could be that there is just not enough people to give the people who are working a break to take care of themselves.  And if that is the problem, then that is a HUGE problem and needs to be addressed.

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Dragon Pics

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“Hmm, he said he was going to be home … I wonder where he could be …”

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Stealing someone’s coffee is called mugging.

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Breathtaking

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This is what an Icelandic ice cave lit up by a burning flare looks like.

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Biden was in three states today:

Unconscious, Semi-conscious, and disoriented.

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This could easily be Willow.

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And why not?  You were young once, too, right?

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Sept 11
Saw a pretty amazing thing tonight at the gym. This firefighter was on the stair climber in full equipment, including his mask and oxygen tank. After about a half hour, I saw him finishing and taking his gear off so I went over to tell him how much I respected what he was doing. I figured he was training for a firefighter exam, but when I commented on it, he exclaimed, “110 floors! Took me 30 minutes, 10 seconds.” 110 floors… OMG. It’s September 11 and he had just climbed the equivalent of 110 floors like the firefighters did in the World Trade Center. Apparently, this is a tradition that many firefighters do to honor the 343 firefighters who lost their lives in the line of duty that day. It’s a helluva tribute!

Thanks Leah!  Yes, that’s a helluva tribute indeed!

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Fantasy

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“Oh … so you say you’re planning a picnic today?”

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Irony:  Getting hit by an ambulance.

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This is ridiculous!

My daughter’s pediatrician asked her if I had any guns in the house.  She didn’t understand this was an invasion of privacy, so she told him yes.

Now he’s always asking me where to find ammo.

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Motivate

Ha, Ha, Ha

haircuts

Haircuts2

half

halflings

Hallucinogens

Hammertime

Hangman

hangover

Hangovers

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I got this next one from Leah and laughed my ass off!!

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I have two granddaughters and their husbands who failed to follow protocol!

Whitey was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers called pullets and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs. Whitey kept records and any rooster that didn’t perform went into the soup pot and was replaced.

That took an awful lot of Whitey’s time so Whitey got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so Whitey could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells. Whitey’s favorite rooster was old Brewster, a very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning, Whitey noticed old Brewster’s bell hadn’t rung at all!

Whitey went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. BUT, to Whitey’s amazement, Brewster had his bell in his beak, so it couldn’t ring. He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

Whitey was so proud of Brewster, he entered him in the county fair… and Brewster became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result… The judges not only awarded Brewster the “No Bell Piece Prize”, but they also awarded him the “Pulletsurprise” as well. 

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She said she missed me.

Normally that would be good, but she’s reloading.

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I found that I have been happier since I changed from coffee in the morning to orange juice.  My doctor explained that it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I really think it’s the Vodka.

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politics

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I accidently punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life I don’t know what does.

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And that’s it for today my friends.  I hope you had as much fun as I did.

Cheers,

Impish Dragon

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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1942

  1. Stephanie says:

    In response to New Orleans. No you can’t have all those things elsewhere just like you can’t have Vienna everywhere. Places are where they are due to their history. It floods every few years, ok. You have snow storms every year that trap people in their homes, sometimes without heat. Every place is unique and worth it to the people who live there or they would leave.

  2. Leah D says:

    Haven’t heard anything lately about how Mrs Dragon is doing?

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