Good Morning Campers,

It just occurred to me, that I was supposed to go back and write a beginning to last issue’s start … and didn’t.  So, there’s one sentence to start it, lol.  Let’s see if we can’t do a bit of a better job with this one.

So, I’ve gotten a couple of messages from fellow campers over the last couple of days that we can share.  Here’s one of them:

Stephanie says: 

Thank you for the birthday wishes my dear friend. I made it to 65!!!!!!!!!
I could draw social security, if I wasn’t already, but just a couple years younger than myself are asked to wait till 70 to draw. With the average life span being 78 and you paying taxes since age 18, that gives the thieves, sorry, congressional slugs 52 years of your taxes to squander for votes.

You are quite welcome dear lady and yeah, I could retire but I’m waiting for Social Security and Medicare … a couple of more years.  I can’t wait.  Yeah, we work our asses off for 50 years so we can get our own money back for ten or maybe twenty, if we are lucky.

But, now … it’s time to laugh.

I’m not particularly interested, but it might be for some people…

Yeah … that’s about right.

The best murder weapon would be a Tupperware lid, because nobody would ever be able to find it.

Did you know that if you put your ear up to a stranger’s leg you can hear them say:

What the fuck are you doing?

We don’t know what the rest of this text is about, and it doesn’t matter because this student automatically deserves an A+.

This student somehow managed to include the lyrics to “Never Gonna Give You Up” in his paper in the most genius way. We hope their teacher noticed when they were grading it. 

This paper could have completely false information, and we wouldn’t even care because it is genius in other ways. Once you see the lyrics, it’s hard to focus on anything else in the essay.

It’s a marvelous night for a moon dance

There was a young fellow from Perth.

Who was born on the day of his birth.

He was married they say,

On his wife’s wedding day,

And he died on his last day on earth.

A giraffe’s coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat.  Ever think about that?  No.  You only think about yourself.

“You can’t hold me, lawman!”

Always make sure SOMEONE in the relationship has good credit.  That’s why it’s called SIGNIFICANT other.

Sign/if/I/can’t.

Follow me for more marriage tips.

You can walk around Walmart eating grapes and nobody will bother you.

But as soon as you pop open a beer … here comes security.

This is what the turquoise ice formations on Lake Baikal, Russia look like.

50 Percent Of Canadians Live South Of The Red Line

I LOVE THAT MUG!

Our dear friend and fellow camper Pete has this to say about wearing MOPP gear.

I’d pretty much be willing to drive up there if you have a suit to fit me…..

Brother Pete, I have suits to fit, every body!

Trish G has a submission in our Florida Man contest:

Florida man:
Half-Nude Florida Man Wearing Underwear Marked “Breathalyzer, Blow Here” Arrested for DUI
He also had condoms strewn throughout the vehicle…and binoculars on the passenger’s seat.

Okay, and we have a contender!  At least for a good laugh!  Thanks Trish.

And Donnie send this one in:

A Florida man has been charged with arson after police say he screamed about vampires before intentionally setting his own house on fire while a woman was inside.

Not anywhere near your league, Imp, but humorous nevertheless.

Thanks Donnie, another good one.  Vampires can be a real pain in the neck.  I know a few nice ones, but mostly they are a bit stuck up.

And that’s it my friends.  Love and happiness to you all.  Be well, and laugh!

Cheers!

Impish Dragon