Dragon Laffs #1893


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Good Morning Campers,

I hope every one of you mothers out there, had a great Mother’s Day yesterday.  I can’t tell you what kind of Mother’s Day Mrs. Dragon had because it actually hasn’t happened yet.  I’m writing this on Saturday morning, to hopefully have it completed for you by Monday.  That’s the plan, anyway.  What I have planned for Mother’s Day is steaks on the grill and a relaxing day for Mrs. Dragon.  Izzy Dragon has something planned … as she should … but I don’t know what it is. 

Anyway, let’s see where this weekend takes us.  I’m going to take Mrs. Dragon out shopping here in a little while, so that ought to be fun.  But, in the mean time, let’s get some laughing in, cause I think I’m going to need it.

Let's Laugh

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Now I lay me down to sleep

Beside my bed a gun I keep

And if I wake and you’re inside

The Coroners van will be your last ride.

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Thanks to Lynn for sending us this artistic essay of what it looks like when Dad or Grandpa takes care of the baby …

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Okay, I’ve fallen asleep with a baby on my chest … but that’s about it. 

Bozo criminal for today comes from Hackensack, New Jersey where bozo Richard Zoller went to visit a friend in jail. The Bozo’s first mistake was when he parked in a space reserved for the warden. When the warden arrived for work and found someone in his space, he ran a quick check on the license tag and found our bozo had an outstanding traffic warrant. So, the bozo was called into the warden’s office. As the warden was explaining the trouble he was in, our bozo fell asleep. Right there in the chair in front of the warden. This made the cops a little suspicious and a quick check of the bozo’s car found four bags of heroin, in plain sight in the front seat. The bozo was arrested and the car towed out of the warden’s spot.

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And that’s what happens when you force the future.

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I got so drunk last night, I walked across the dance floor to get another drink and won the dance contest.

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Here’s another great website from our dear friend Stephanie … it’s called: One Hilarious Pic To Sum Up Each American State: https://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/states-summed-up-in-one-picture/85216290/

And Mrs. Dragon and I laughed our silly little asses off while looking at them.  Some of them are dead on perfect.

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Bozo criminal for today comes from Columbus, Ohio where bozo Clint Grissom walked into a local bank and got in line at one of the teller’s windows. When it was finally his turn, the bozo handed the teller a brown paper bag and told her to fill it with cash, which she did. It was only when he turned to leave that he noticed who was standing behind him…Officer James Marsh of the Columbus police department who arrested him on the spot.

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This does not surprise me.

Survival Tip:  If your girlfriend catches you looking at another woman, turn to her and say, “I’m glad you don’t dress like that.”

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Dragon Pix

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The often seen and seldom recognized tree dragon …

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Yes, I support renewable energy …

It’s called coffee.

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My therapist set half a glass of water in front of me.  He asked me if I was an optimist or a pessimist.  So, I drank the water and told him I was a problem solver. ~ Unknown

(Make mine a Jameson’s ~ Impish Dragon)

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Fantasy

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“Nag, nag, nag!  Get off my back, bitch!”

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Here’s another nice essay sent in by Lynn…

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On June 16, 1903, the Ford Motor Company was established. Henry Ford was the founder. This was not his first rodeo, as he had previously operated the Henry Ford Company. He left that company and took his name with him. What became of the Henry Ford Company? They became known as the Cadillac Motor Company.

What does any of this have to do with the photo of a BBQ grill? Hang on.

455Ford’s Model T, which would number in the millions sold, required 100 board feet of wood to build. Ford despised waste. His motto was, “Reduce, reuse, and recycle.” He was also a nature-lover, an environmentalist of his time. His escape from the stress of life was camping in the great outdoors. 

Frustrated by the mountains of sawdust his lumber mills created, he and his partners sought a way to utilize the scrap wood and sawdust into a useful (and profitable) product. 

An idea came to him one day as he was camped with some friends in the wilds of Michigan . After his party spent a long time collecting sufficient wood for a campfire, an idea sprang in Ford’s mind. Upon returning back to the lumber mill, he shared the idea with some of his partners and set to work on it.

The idea? Lumping a fistful of sawdust and cornstarch with a bit of tar to form a briquette. After charring it, it performed exactly what Ford imagined it would. He then built a charcoal briquette factory adjacent to his lumber mill where the waste from one became the fuel for the other. 

Bar B QueA new Model T was now frequently sold with a bonus bag of Ford Charcoal Briquettes, so you could drive into the woods to camp and not worry about finding campfire wood. 

So now you know. Ford not only created the modern automobile industry which takes millions to work and back each workday, but he also created the weekend grilling and camping industries. 

In 1951, the Ford Charcoal Briquette Company was sold. The new company was454 named after Ford’s real estate partner who helped him find the land to supply wood for building the early Ford automobiles- E.J. Kingsford. 

Kingsford Charcoal is the largest producer of charcoal briquettes in the world. 

Thanks Lynn.  Quite an interesting story!

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Weird Fact

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There’s an island full of wild monkeys off the coast of South Carolina called Morgan Island, and it’s not open to humans.

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Motivational

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Common Sense

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Compassion

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Compromise

Computer Illiterate

Concentration

Condoms

confidence

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Confidence3

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Okay, let’s get into this today.  You guys have sent in quite a few of these, so let’s do this …

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And it’s because they know that illegals are 100 times more likely to vote democrat than the children of veterans are!  It has nothing to do with right or wrong, just with what is going to give them votes, and THAT’S what wrong with this country!

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Democrats today are saying that no one, even the President, is above the law.  So, my question is, how come illegals are?

I’ll wait …

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There is no “might” about it.  You ARE a dumbass!

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And that goes for everyone of you stupid motherfuckers kneeling for the National Anthem!!!  If you haven’t been there, you don’t have that right!

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A Mexican cannot vote in Mexico without a valid ID.  He must come to AMERICA to do that. 

Let that sink in …

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Only a fool would give up a weapon in order for the government to protect them.  The government cannot even stop a telemarketer.

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So, if pipeliners can just go “find another job” then welfare recipients can too, right?

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As nice as that would be, 99.9% of the police and first responders really couldn’t care less how you personally feel.  They are going to protect and defend to the very best of their ability regardless of your personal or political feelings and beliefs.  But, oh, wouldn’t it be nice if you could track the snowflakes and when the bad guys do come a-knocking, let them know that their counselor will be there when they get to them …

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And that’s it for today my friends.  I hope you enjoyed the fun.  Love and happiness to you all.  Until we meet again.

cheers

Impish Dragon

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