Dragon Laffs #1894


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zipper

Good Morning Campers,

Okay, here’s the deal.  This is probably going to be a short issue.  Thursday have become problematic for me.  I’m not sure why.  Might be because I’m now playing darts on Monday AND Tuesday nights … at least for the next couple of weeks.  Might be because work has taken a turn for the worse.  Might be because Mrs. Dragon has taken a turn for the worse.  (Not that she is in any danger or anything, just that her blood pressure is acting up and it’s driving us both crazy).  But, here it is again Wednesday, it’s already late and I’m just now getting this issue started.  So, I’ll throw you guys some jokes, some cartoons, apologize profusely, we’ll call it an issue and hope for better over the weekend…except I’m working again this weekend  and oh my great aunt bugbear, will it ever end!!!

I need a clone.

Or I need Izzy Dragon to start doing one or two of these a week.

You guys couldn’t handle that left wing, anti-social teenager and her memes and opinions.  I might just throw her at you just to see how many of you run screaming from the campground never to be seen again.

Or …

Maybe even better …

See how long it takes you to band together —- maybe even with pitchforks and torches —- and chase her into a windmill and burn it to the ground.  Wouldn’t that be something.

Hmmmmm food for dragon thought.

Whilst I consider me options, let’s get this party started.

Let's Laugh

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I read the above to Izzy Dragon and she laughed maniacally and said, “Challenge Accepted…but you have to pay me to do it.” So, I’m not really sure how this will work out.

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Thanks to Dan T for this great book cover …

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Some days it’s not even worth chewing through the restraints.

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Oh my Gawd, NO!!!!!

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I really think it’s time to take the warning labels off of everything and let stupidity work itself out of the gene pool.

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Dragon Pic

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“Kiss me, you fool!”

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We just got a special emergency warning coming in …. stand by …. stand by …

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Shit we’re screwed.

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Help Desk:  Trying to explain to a customer that there’s no such thing as an upper case number in her password.

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Fantasy

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“How many times do I have to tell you to clean this damn place up?!” — abusive husband — needs his ass kicked.

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Aaaannnddd another dumbass who needs her ass kicked.

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Headline:  Jars of human tongues discovered under Florida man’s home

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Motivational

conformity

Congratulations

congress

Consequences

Consideration

Consistancy

Conspiracy Theories

Conspiracy

constitution

Consulting

Cookie Monster Killer

Cookies

Cool Dog

Cool friends

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If I offered you $100,000 to jump out of a plane with no parachute, would you do it? — I bet you said No, didn’t you? — But what if I told you the plane was on the ground?  Moral of the story?  Know all the facts before you open your mouth.

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And I’ll bet dollars to donuts that these guys are weapons troops.

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I got a great lawn mowing story from Pete …

Tried to mow the lawn today, but the lawn mower was having none of it. I put the battery on a charger in the morning, but it wasn’t charging. So I put a tester on it. Dead.

I drove over to the garage in the afternoon to get a new battery, then went to install it. But when I tried, one of the terminals was really corroded and broke off. And despite having a big box of terminal parts, none of ’em fit.

So I decided the correct response was “beer.”

It’s not like the grass is going anywhere….

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And that’s it for today.  Sorry if it’s a bit short.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

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3 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1894

  1. Stephanie says:

    Take care of the cave first, then us. We will share the bottle, cheese and crackers until you make it back.
    Give the Mrs and Izzy my love. Praying for all of you.

  2. Marsha Mastrangelo says:

    Just a thought…as a nurse with high bp past 40 years…doc says some of it is just how I handle things…my bp goes up and people get to live… also some people have kidney issues which can raise bp…also the med atenolol does not contain a diuretic…works on bp without making you pee yourself day and night. Goes back to the kidney thing.I actually feel bad if my bp gets into normal range. 42 years of it. Also a clove of garlic every day will lower it too…Good luck…

  3. Leah D says:

    Was being monitored yesterday. The nurse got mad because every time I laughed, the machine thought I was having a problem with my heart. That has bugged me ever since . . . laughter is not normal?

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