Dragon Laffs #1854


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flowerbone

Good Morning Campers,

Another last minute issue, I’m afraid.  It’s late on Sunday and I’m trying to put this together for Monday.  I’ve worked hard all weekend and it’s been “one of those weekends” but I have things to say and want you guys to hear them … although I’m not sure I’ll get a chance to say them since it’s almost easier to just throw some cartoons, memes and such out there and let it go at that.  But, let see how it goes, shall we?

Lets Laugh

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To be sure to get to these, I’m going to start with some comments:

Dave

The clown at the beginning of today’s post, that will trade his left nut for a super bowl ticket, must have played too many games without a helmet. It clearly says he wants to complete the transaction after the game. My question is this . . . Why would anyone trade a nut for a used, canceled ticket.

Because, Dave … there are some people who are just, plain stupid.

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Larry S.

Here is a scenario that I haven’t read yet…..Biden becomes “incapacitated ” by whatever excuse they come up with. In that case, Harris becomes the first female president. Now, if something should happen to her ( and I could see this happening ) guess who becomes president? The Speaker of the House! (Aka: Pelosi) God forbid!!

Larry … you are an evil man … but I hope and pray not a prophet.

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Leah D

As I stole your jokes & toons, and commentary to post on Facebook, my mind kept assigning an odds number to them . . . as in, what are the odds FB will censor it?
You have been the provider of stress relief all these years, by way of laughter. Now it seems, by providing a safe haven where we can vent also. (this is where we all clink our glasses and raise them in tribute to you)

Thanks Leah.  I hope this is a place where all can vent, express their opinions and share.  That is what I do.  I’m not sure how much longer the thought police will allow us to print what we want to print, but until they shut us down, we will continue to allow open expression of thoughts and ideas … and laughter.

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Pete AKA JPH

It’s nice to see my memes and writings posted in your blog, thank you. I’m not sure where you got them but, the funny thing is I tried to send them to you but couldn’t figure out how to get them to you. I have more if you let me know how to send them.
Pete AKA JPH

Thanks Pete.  I’m not sure how I got them either if I didn’t get them from you.  I must’ve gotten them from someone who got them from someone who got them from you … or some combination thereof.  You can reach me directly by emailing me at impishdragon@gmail.com.  Would love to hear from you directly.

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Larry S.

Impish: Did you see where our new Commander in Chief ( sic.) Had the flags from all the services removed from his Oval Office?. IMHO, that is disgraceful and bodes ill for our service members for the next 4 years. Comments??

It’s especially disgraceful since he called in 20,000 National Guardsman to protect his candy-ass from “We The People” for his fraudulent swearing-in.  Now, I understand that everyone in the military is nothing but White-Supremacists and Terrorists.  I think it’s actually kind of funny that half the time they are talking about “Martial Law” and the other half of the time they are making the National Guard guys sleep in the garage and throwing the flags out of the Oval Office.  If they think the American People are going to put up with UN Troops (i.e. The Chinese) being brought in to enforce Martial Law, they have another think coming.

And after almost 30 years of military service … it also PISSES ME THE FUCK OFF!  Put my flags back in my Oval Office, you little prick!

Those are my comments … how about you guys?

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PAUL B

How are you doing ? I’m concerned.I’ve seen some comments about things at your place. Hope all is well

Thanks Paul.  Doing as well as can be expected I guess. Unless you are speaking of something specific I’ve eluded to, then, I’m afraid I won’t go into details about things that I can’t.  But, I will say it’s been rough both personally and professionally and your good wishes and prayers are both appreciated and helpful.

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Jeannie – aka Gracie

Hey Impish ! Great sends again!
My son is in the National Guard and has been in DC for a month already.
This was/is a Biden/leftist display of “power.”
They do NOT respect our Military and I’m so pissed about this!!
It’s disgusting. And the media just kisses the lefts asses.
I am disgusted.

Hey Jeannie/Gracie … long time dear!  Yes … it’s pure bullshit.  I teach class to my Air Force folks and at the end of every class I make sure I tell them thank you for their service and how much I appreciate what it is they do.  Well, the last two days I’ve given them an extra little talk from my “unique perspective”.  I’ve been around for a while and have seen some things.  I tell them that what they are doing is important, that it matters, that it means something.  That it’s not just one weekend a month, two weeks during the summer.  I told them that they were going to hear some shit over the next couple of months, but that what they needed to do was rely on each other, listen to and lean on the men and women who were in charge of them that they respected, but under no circumstances were they do buy into the crap that is being spewed from the mainstream media about the military.  Know that I and many others on the base were proud of what they were doing and were very thankful for what they have done.  And if they ever had any questions or concerns and had no other person to talk to or ask, they could ALWAYS come talk to me and I would be available 24/7 for any member of any branch.

And Jeannie/Gracie … you can pass those sentiments on to your son and his buddies in the NG from Impish Dragon and his buddies here, who are a bunch of old vets, who appreciate the hell out of what the young vets are doing.

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Dragon Pics

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“Who’s the little one?  He looks delicious.” 

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If you don’t pay taxes, you get sent to a place you don’t have to pay taxes.

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“This one is strange to me because it was so long ago that I’m convinced I have to be remembering things wrong.
I was a young kid and, at the grocery store, I saw this small toy helicopter that I really wanted for some reason. I, of course, didn’t buy it, but the memory of it was stuck in my head. A few nights later, I had a dream that I was playing with the helicopter, but I realized it was a dream. In the dream, stupid young me thought that, if I put it under my pillow, it would still be there when I woke up.
After that, I woke up and eagerly checked under the pillow. It was right where I left it in the dream. As a kid, I wasn’t surprised to find it there, but years later I still have no clue how the toy helicopter actually got underneath the pillow.”
 

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Fantasy

f2011040504

There’s a story here …

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And another one here.

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These are the top 10 dumping lies translated to their true meanings for all of you.
“I’m not ready for that type of commitment”
     Translation:
I don’t want to date you; however, you can take me out to dinner and a movie every once in a while. Just don’t hang around me so much that you scare away the people I really want to date.

“God doesn’t want me to date right now. ”
     Translation:
I don’t know why I said ‘yes’ in the first place. God doesn’t want me to date someone as ugly as you.

“I only date older men/women.”
     Translation:
I only date older men/women who have more money than you do.

“You’re just not my type.”
     Translation:
When I look at you, and think of kissing you, I get physically sick.

“You’re too good for me.”
     Translation:
I’m too good/much/cool for you.

“You’re too much like a brother/sister”
     Translation:
I like you, but you just don’t turn me on.

“You’ll always have a special place in my heart.”
     Translation:
My lawyer will contact you soon about the restraining order.

“I think we should date other people.”
     Translation:
Look, I’m late for my date, he/she’s probably waiting in the parking lot. I’ve got to go.

“I just don’t have the time to date anyone.”
     Translation:
You do realize that I’ve been avoiding you for months now.

“Maybe we can get together real soon.”
     Translation:
Perhaps if you were the last man/woman on Earth.

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“Let’s just walk up the hill to the terminal, rather than wait for the bus,” I suggested to my two young sons.  Much to their displeasure, we began our walk.
After a while, my seven-year-old son asked: “Mom, why do you always make the decisions?”
“Because I’m an adult,” I said.  “When you become an adult, you’ll make the decisions.”
He thought for a few seconds, then said, “No, I won’t.  Then I’ll have a wife.”

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Well … as you can tell, this didn’t go out on Monday like I had wanted, so I guess it is going to be Thursday’s issue…just too much going on.  My apologies my friends, but I will tell you, as time goes on and this administration becomes more of a pain in the ass to our military members, there’s going to be more and more for me to do, so me being delayed here might become more and more of a thing.  The world is going to hell in a hand basket.  You may have seen on the news of a family being slain in Indianapolis over the weekend.  Mother, Father, some kids, including a pregnant lady and her unborn child.  Just read that they arrested a 17 year old kid for the murders.  In little Indianapolis.  To hell in a hand basket.

We really need to laugh.

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Here’s another one of those things that I wish I had written cause the more I think about it the harder I laugh.

Most people are assholes.  Don’t believe me?  Next time you’re in a crowded room shout, “HEY ASSHOLE!” and see how many people turn around and look at you.

Now think about how well that would work…

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Motivate

50 Cent

99Problems

120DB Bass Music

1937 Monster Tank Rally

1970s

Yeah, it was like that…

1987

REAL vampires are NEVER sparkly bitches.

2002

2021 – Who the fuck are those people?

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Huh … mine, too.

Two men were out hunting in the woods.
One of them was a fanatical huntsman and he went hunting as often as he
could.
The other was his friend who is a peaceful nature loving fellow, who didn’t really want to hurt anything.
They had been out in the woods for some time, when they picked up the tracks of a deer.
They soon caught up with it, and when they saw it, it was obvious why it had been so easy to catch up to – it had a terrible infection over it’s left eye, which it couldn’t even see out of.
The hunter started to take aim with his shotgun, but his friend begged him to stop.
Hey! he said, “Can’t you see that’s a bad eye deer?”

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Sex with human, ok.

Sex with cow, not ok.

Grabbing cow titty, ok.

Grabbing Karen in accounting’s titty, not ok.

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politics

There’s been a lot of shit lately that has pissed me off … this helps … a little:

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And you don’t think that’s coming?  Then you’re foolish.

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AMEN, BROTHER!!!!  I WANT THIS SHIRT!!!!  Mrs. Dragon says she can probably find it.

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And not worried NEAR enough about our own American people!!!!!

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My neighbors complained about me groaning too loud having sex in the morning … if they only knew I’m just trying to put my socks on …

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Well, it’s been a week my friends.  And there have been a lot of things that have really chapped my ass this week, but this that I read today really topped my list.  So, I decided to make it my …

Last Word

The apparent stupidity of people knows no bounds.

From an article written by Brie Stimson of Fox News, it seems that San Francisco’s public school system now finds George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Thomas Jefferson intolerable historic figures and have voted to have their names stricken from schools bearing their names…to the tune of hundreds of thousands of dollars.  Why oh why are the Father of our Country, the Freer of Slaves and the author of the Declaration of Independence unworthy of having a school named after them in the San Francisco Public School System?  Because Washington and Jefferson both owned slaves, and Lincoln, who ended slavery, “became controversial because critics claim he oppressed indigenous people.”

ARE

YOU

FUCKING

KIDDING

ME!?!?

Oh, and these aren’t the only people who are unworthy of having schools named after them:

Francis Scott Key, who wrote the words to the national anthem

Former Presidents William McKinley, James Garfield, James Monroe, and Herbert Hoover

Revolutionary War hero Paul Revere

And Author Robert Louis Stevenson.

Oh, and the best … “Replacing signage at the 44 schools will cost more than $400,000, according to the Courthouse News.  The price tag could also go up to around $1 million for schools to get new activity uniforms, repaint gymnasium floors, etc., according to the Chronicle.  The district is facing a budget deficit.” So … they have no money, they OWE money, and they want to spend more of YOUR money because their panties are in a bunch of a perceived hurt from the name of the school!  From what would otherwise be considered a national hero!  Let me say it one more time:

ARE

YOU

FUCKING

KIDDING

ME!?!?

What I want to know is who put these FUCKING IDIOTS in charge?  These are the people who are responsible for teaching our children and helping them to grow up to be responsible adults?  Seems to me that all they are going to teach them to be is whinny ass little pussies like they are.  There are so many important things to be upset about in this world.  Why don’t you put some effort into the homeless military veteran problem in your area?  Or the number of American Children that are going hungry?  No.  You’d rather spend our hard earned money on your poor little feelings being hurt.

YOU ARE A BUNCH OF DUMB ASSES!!!

And that’s it for me today my friends.  I hope to put together a much better issue in the near future.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon.

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4 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1854

  1. Stephanie says:

    You know, my Dear Imp, there have always been idiots in our country. I wish news and legal channels had the cojones to call an idiot an idiot and don’t give them a second thought. I’m so sick of media manipulation. Once you could trust what was broadcast, might not like it, but you knew it was the truth. Now, just follow the money and selectively offend.
    Love you

  2. Leah D says:

    Love the rhino artist . . . reminds me of the RINOs (Republican in name only) like Sens. Susan Collins of Maine, Lisa Murkowski of Alaska, Mitt Romney of Utah, Ben Sasse of Nebraska and Pat Toomey of Pennsylvania . . . who can’t see past their own noses which are stuck up their ass!

    Was it good for you? Well, I feel SO MUCH BETTER!

  3. Leah D says:

    Yah, that 17 year old who killed all those . . . turns out it was his family, did it because he got in trouble for leaving the house without permission.
    Call me stupid all you want, I strongly believe video games share a great part of responsibility for teaching violence as the answer to all issues.

  4. Cynical John says:

    I’m with you, Impish. It’s getting damn hard to write political satire any more, because the reality is so much worse. But here’s one. Colin Kaepernick should change his first name to Colon, because of what he’s full of.

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