Dragon Laffs #1828


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Good Morning Campers,

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It’s Monday … already … and it’s time to get ready for another work week.  A short work week, but another work week just the same.  This week has a very special holiday in it.  Thanksgiving.  Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays.  Not just because turkey with stuffing happens to be like one of my favorite meals of all times (and Mrs. Dragon makes like THE BEST turkey EVER!!!) but because it makes us take a day out of our busy year special to stop and think about all the things that we are thankful for.  That’s not going to be easy to dobanging head this year, but here at the Dragon household, we are going to give it a try and here at Dragon Laffs, we’re going to give it a try, also.

red xBut, that’s for another issue.  For this issue, we’ve got all kinds of fun stuff planned for you today.  I’ve actually got a weekend off to work on this issue and maybe … MAYBE … we can do a bit more than just throw some jokes and cartoons at you.  Now wouldn’t that be a fun thing to do?  Yes, I know it’s been a while since you guys have gotten a real issue and I apologize for that, but we all do what we can do.   And sadly, ImpishArmy men has got responsibilities beyond taking care of you guys.  I know that’s hard to believe, but it’s the truth.  Maybe someday, you guys will be all I have to worry about because I will have hit the lottery and brick-wall-101will be independently wealthy!  Oh … wait … I guess you actually have to PLAY the lottery in order to WIN the lottery.  Well shit!  That let’s that idea out.  Hmmm.  How about … a rich relative dies and leaves me hissword fight vast fortunes!  No … that won’t work.  I don’t have any rich relatives.  Well, that just leaves you guys.  We have 454 followers, in order to supplement my income … with retirement … and Social Security … you guys are gonna have to come up with … dollar-signlet’s see … carry the one … um … never mind. There’s no way you guys are gonna pay that a year, much less every month.  Sigh.  I guess we’ll just have to keep going the way we’re going.  Keep fighting the good fight and knowing that we’re making a difference in a few lives out there somewhere.  And that, my dear campers, is what really matters.  So long as I keep getting the occasional email or comment that says, hey Impish.  I really look forward to seeing your issue, or something you said really mattered to me, or you made me laugh today, then that’s what really counts.  When that stops happening, then I guess that’s when I’ll think about hanging all this up.

And that ain’t today.

So, let’s get this party started!

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“Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.” ~ Robert Heinlein.  They are out there and they vote.

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In regards to the whole drugs in Oregon conversation we’ve been having, Sasquatch writes:

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So if I understand correctly, in Oregon cocaine is legal but straws aren’t?

Yeah, that’s what it seems like.  I’m not saying it makes sense, nor that I agree with it by any stretch of the imagination … but that is what it seems like.

And the left now want to decriminalize everything, as well as get rid of prison…so we have THAT to look forward to.

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A Little Known Fact … Before the crowbar was invented, most crows drank at home.

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I got on YouTube just to watch a music video and 5 hours later, there I am watching a tutorial on how to talk to a giraffe.

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The Impish Dragon Residence this Thursday, but only because Impish REALLY likes Turkey.

And Stephanie sent us this picture of the “Get Off My Lawn 3000”

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Perched high above the mountain top, Impish Dragon surveys his surrounding kingdom, majestic in his … oh, who are we kidding, he’s stoned again.

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If a man says you’re ugly, he’s being mean.

If a woman says you’re ugly, she’s envious.

If a little kid says you’re ugly, you’re ugly.

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Stupid people are like glow sticks:

I want to snap them and shake them until the light comes on!

 

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It is scientifically proven that women can be satisfied with only 3 1/2 inches … and it doesn’t matter if it’s a Visa or a MasterCard.

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So, we all know that Stephanie is rumored to be a tough chick…and I’m not saying that this is a portrait of her … mostly cause I don’t want to get my ass shot, so I’ll leave up to the reader to connect the dots.

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The body of the average military veteran is 28% Ibuprofen.

 

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If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize.  I honestly didn’t think you could read. 

Damn!

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From Des Moines, Iowa comes the story of bozo Stephen Harrigan who held up a convenience store, getting away with a small amount of cash. Unfortunately in the confusion our bozo left his wallet behind at the scene of the crime, an oversight he discovered a few minutes later. And since he was still in the neighborhood, he decided to try to retrieve it. As he walked back into the store, he overheard the clerk on the phone to the police, describing him as five foot ten and 38 years old. “I’m six two,” our bozo shouted, “And I’m 34 years old.” The bozo was still trying to get the facts straight when the cops showed up and arrested him.

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My son, Luke, loves that we named our children after Star Wars characters.

My daughter, Chewbacca, not so much.

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In other news … the Seven Dwarfs have been advised that as of today, they can only meet in groups of six.  One of them isn’t Happy.

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This is Funny

United

up against the wall

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Yes!  Yes you should!

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Used

USMC

Usual Suspects

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Vacations

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I don’t know how to us TikTok, but I can write in cursive, do long division, and tell time on clocks with hands … so there’s that.

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Be sure to bring up politics at Thanksgiving dinner.  It’s going to save you money on Christmas gifts.  Follow me for more cost saving holiday tips.

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Yes, I’m politically Incorrect.  And there is a damn good reason for that.  I think that this STUPID BITCH is not only a fucking moron, I think she is a dangerous fucking moron because she is gathering a group of other fucking morons around her who are as stupid as she is!  It is mind blowingly unbelievable to me that anyone with a half an ounce of brains voted for her and even more unbelievable to me that she has managed to keep herself alive past the age of a parent feeding her because I don’t believe she’s bright enough to successfully use a knife a fork.  But, maybe Pelosi spends the time she’s not in a beauty salon feeding her … who knows. 

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I don’t doubt it.

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I don’t doubt that either …

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YES, WE KNOW!!!!

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An Irish couple took in an 18-year-old girl as a lodger. 
She asked if she could have a bath, but the woman of the house told her they didn’t have a bath, although if she wanted to, she could use a tin bath in front of the fire. 
” Monday ‘s the best night, when my husband goes out to darts,” she said. The girl agreed to have a bath the following Monday . After her husband had gone to the pub for his darts match, the woman filled the bath and watched the girl get undressed.
She was surprised to see that the lass didn’t have any pubic hair. She mentioned this to her husband when he came home. 
He didn’t believe her, so she said: ” Next Monday ,when you go to darts, leave a little early and wait in the back garden. I’ll leave a gap in the curtains so you can see for yourself.”
So, the following Monday , while the girl again got undressed, the wife asked,
“Do you shave?”
“No,” replied the girl. “I’ve just never grown any hair down there. Do you have hair?”
“Oh, yes,” said the woman, and she pulled up her nightdress and showed the girl that she was really generously endowed in the hair department. The girl finished her bath and went to bed.
Later that night, when the husband came in, the wife asked him, “Did you see it?”
“Yes,” he said, “but why the hell did you have to show her yours.”
“Why ever are you worried about that?” she said. “You’ve seen it often enough before.”
“I know,” he said, “but the darts team hadn’t!”

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Do midgets only have to stand 3 feet apart?  Asking for a friend.

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I have to admit, I laughed so hard at this.

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And I’m afraid that has to be it for today my friends.  I’ve run out of time.  I’ve got to get things done and ready for Thursday and for work tomorrow and … and … and … there’s always something else to do or something else going on.

But that’s life and that’s what we have to work with.  Love and happiness to you all until we meet again.

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