Dragon Laffs #1778


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Good Morning Campers,

It’s Saturday.  The weekend, and I can’t believe how fast this week has gone by!  It’s friggin’ amazing!  Took the week off to be with my lovely wife, even if we didn’t really do anything and the time has just flew past.  Just being able to spend time with her is enough. 

What am I saying?  We didn’t do anything!  We bought a new Range and a new fridge, repaired a bunch of stuff around the house and just had a LOVELY 25th LOLwedding anniversary!  So, I suppose it’s all relevant. 

But, it has been fun.  Of course, it’s been fun.  We’ve actually had several of the people that have waited on us tell us what a “fun” couple weroflmao2 are.  Which is nice to hear.  If only they knew the real truth.  I need a meme or a gif for “evil laughter” or maybe “maniacal laughter”… there’s always this one from Princess Bride.Maniacal laugh  Truly a classic.  But, it just doesn’t fit right in with what I’m trying to put across.  I’ll have to keep looking.  Maybe the Brain from Pinky and the Brain.  Except he never laughs, he just wants to take over the world.  Best evil laugh ever though has to be Ted Danson  from 403The Good Place.  If you haven’t seen the show, it’s worth watching for his laughter alone.  Overall, it was a pretty good show.  I’d give it 4 out of 5 fireballs.

Anyway, I think it’s time to get on to more important things … like laughter and forgetting that the world is a strange and unusual place right now and that we have to wear a mask to go to the grocery store and that George fucking Soros is trying to take over the world. 

So onward t’ward the laughter then …

Laugh

‘Tis this way …

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Okay, so not a funny picture … but certainly an awesome one!

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Bozo criminal for today comes from Plantation, Florida where bozo Alfred Flemming walked into the World Savings Bank and demanded money. When the teller told him she had nothing to put the cash in, our bozo reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out an envelope and handed it to her. Unfortunately, in his haste, our bozo didn’t notice that when he pulled out the envelope, a business card and a blank check fell out also. He didn’t bother to pick them up but the cops did and were waiting for him when he arrived home.

Yup, you’re a right friggin’ idiot.

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Amen

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Okay, this next one is all me …

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The previous has been an Impish Dragon creation. LOL!

The ONLY thing I dig about wearing a mask is it covering my double chin … I can see why you men like beards …

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That is really gross!

Waiter:  “How do you like your steak, sir?”

Sir:  “Like winning an argument with my wife.”

Waiter:  “Rare it is!”

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More than 300 men and women have died in the line of duty in Philadelphia since 1828.

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I’ve opened a can of worms.

They just sit there, the worms.

Hardly the chaos that’s been advertised.

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I have a “WTF is wrong with people” moment at least four times a day.

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3c

Let’s do the mail …

Lona


Happy Anniversary …25 more HAPPY YEAR

Thanks Lona!  Much appreciated.

I got an email from Dave that’s really to Leah D.  It goes like this…

Leah D.

I wanted to send you a gift of silver to celebrate a quarter year of marriage . . .

 

Shouldn’t this be quarter century?  Do you really want to start over?

Dave

Ouch!  Although … starting over does have its advantages … especially if I have the knowledge that I have now … nah, I got these scars and wrinkles, I think I’ll keep them.  Thanks Dave!

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It’s a good point to make my reminder and my plea for funds.  I gotta pay the bills and I’m asking for your help.  This is coming a little early this year, (usually it’s in August) but you guys 0a2have asked for it early to help out with my Range and Fridge, which I appreciate, so this is me doing that.  The donation button looks like what I copied here on the left.  It is located on the top right column of the web page and goes through PayPal.  If you’d like to donate in some other manner, you can write to me at impishdragon@gmail.com and I will send you my snail mail address.  For obvious reasons I don’t wish to publish that here.  Every little bit helps. 

I would like to humbly thank the following for their very generous donations:

Mark M.     Donald G.     Michael C.     Joseph P.

Thank you9

Now … back to the show!

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This next one is by Grace Mary Fein … I don’t know Grace, but she wrote a great essay and I hope she doesn’t mind me reprinting it here.

A nation that has lost its collective mind!

 

Let’s see if I got this right.

 

If a dude pretends to be a woman, you are required to pretend with him.

 

Somehow it’s Un-American for the census to count how many Americans are in America.

 

Russians influencing our elections are bad, but illegal Mexicans voting in our elections are good.

 

It was cool for Joe Biden to “blackmail” the President of Ukraine, but it’s an impeachable offense if the President inquires about it.

 

Twenty is too young to drink a beer, but eighteen is old enough to vote.

 

People who have never owned slaves should pay slavery reparations to people who have never been slaves. This after 250,000 white union soldiers died to free the slaves and the subsequent freed slaves had already been given 40 acres and a mule to stimulate their life of freedom.

 

Inflammatory rhetoric is outrageous, but harassing conservative people in restaurants is virtuous.

 

People who have never been to college should pay the debts of college students who took out huge loans for useless degrees.

 

Immigrants with tuberculosis and polio are welcome, but you’d better be able to prove your dog is vaccinated.

 

Irish doctors and German engineers who want to immigrate must go through a rigorous vetting process, but any illiterate Central-American gang-banger who jumps the southern fence is welcome.

 

$5 billion for border security is too expensive, but $1.5 trillion for ‘free’ health care is not.

 

If you cheat to get into college you go to prison, but if you cheat to get into the country you go to college for free.

 

People who say there is no such thing as gender are demanding a female President.

 

We see other countries going Socialist and collapsing, and it seems like a great plan to us.

 

Some people are held responsible for things that happened before they were born, and other people are not held responsible for what they are doing right now.

 

Criminals are catch-and-released to hurt more people, but stopping them is bad because it’s a violation of THEIR rights.

 

Prisoners in prison should be released into the community to avoid Coronavirus, but citizens who want to go to work or patronize a business in the community should be jailed.

 

And pointing out all this hypocrisy somehow makes us “racists”?!

 

Think that about covers it!!!

 

Grace Mary Fein

 

And we are expected to accept that all of this makes perfect sense.  As a dragon I’ve got a big mouth and gullet, but even I can’t swallow this load of bullshit.

 

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Four out of five voices in my head think you’re an idiot.  The other one is deciding where to bury you.

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Yes this pisses me off!

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Deleting your Facebook is like running away from home.

You’re just doing it for attention and you’ll be back in an hour.

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Sorry kids!  Times are hard!  For Halloween, I’m giving out ketchup and taco sauce packets!  Would you like hot or mild?

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I went out to this restaurant not long ago and met the waitress of my dreams.
About halfway through dinner I called the waitress over and said, “Ma’am, this potato is bad.”
She nodded, picked up the potato, and smacked it. Then she put it back on my plate and said, “Sir, if that potato causes any more trouble, you just let me know.”

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In America

Please follow all directions

Please Help

Pleasing Your Man

plumbers crack

PMS

PMS1

PMS2

PMS28

Police Geeks

Police Medic

Political Parties

Politicians

politics

Politics2

Politics3

Polka

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My shrink just killed himself and blamed me in the note.

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When a cop asks you, “Do you know why I pulled you over?”  It is never a good idea to respond, “Because my tires look like donuts?”

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I don’t let my age define me, but the side effects are getting harder to ignore.

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I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices.

He told me that I don’t have a psychiatrist.

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Let us end today’s ezine with a non-quote from Thomas Jefferson, “Beer, if drunk in moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit, and promotes health.”  This has often been quoted as Thomas Jefferson and occasionally Benjamin Franklin.  Actually, neither gentleman can be found to have actually said those words.  Kinda like Captain Kirk never actually said, “Beam me up, Scotty.”  But it’s a nice attribution and a great thought.  And a wonderful adage to end today’s issue with.

Thank you all for your wonderful comments and your donations.  May they both continue aplenty to pay the bills and stroke my enormous ego.

Love to you all.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1778

  1. Stephanie says:

    Grace got it right.

  2. Leah D. says:

    Kudos Dave! Last night I was texting my sister directions to a lake in the high Uintas, Then I called her, to make sure she understood my texts.

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