Dragon Laffs #1777


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Good Morning Campers,2a1a

So many, many, many of you sent such wonderful Anniversary wishes I had to take a special moment to say thank you!  Thank you so very much.  Man, to feel the love from you guys was overwhelming!  Many of you have also expressed a desire … and have said that it is about that time of the year for donations to come around and that you would like to add a little bit extra for the Oven/Fridge fund which is kinda sorta true.  Donations usually start up in August and this is July so I guess that is kinda close and I suppose if you guys wanted to throw a little extra in to help with expenses it would go a long way to helping out.  The donation button though hasn’t moved and it still works.  It’s on the upper right hand corner of the page and all you have to do is click it and contribute what you like.  It goes through PayPal and they take their little percentage.  I have to pay the bills around here in September so whatever comes in above and beyond what it costs to keep this thing going will be deeply appreciated.

If you don’t wish to use PayPal and wish to send me something through snail mail, then send me an email at impishdragon@gmail.com and I can send you my regular old snail mail address.  For obvious reasons I can’t/won’t print it here.

But again, thank you so much for all the wonderful and loving Anniversary wishes.  I will share some of them with you throughout this issue…and for now, let’s share some laughter and some love.

ac17

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Wife: I am not talking to you.

Husband:  Ok

Wife:  Don’t you want to know the reason?

Husband:  No, I respect and trust your decision.

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Today was a bad day.

First, my ex got hit by a bus …

Then, I lost my job as a bus driver.

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[throwing pebbles at my therapist’s window at 3 am] WHAT DID YOU MEAN WHEN YOU SAID I LACK BOUNDARIES?

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I just saw a Bail Bondsman commercial that said “We’ll have you out before the soap hits the shower floor.”

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When I was a kid, my friend and I stole pets from around the neighborhood and returned them when the owners put up rewards.

And today you work for the mob?

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It helps if you imagine auto correct as a tiny little elf in your phone who’s trying so hard to be helpful but is in fact quite drunk.

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Coronacoaster:

 

Noun:  The ups and downs of pandemic.  One day you’re loving your bubble, doing workouts, baking banana bread

and going for long walks and the next you’re crying, drinking gin from the bottle for breakfast and missing people you don’t even like!

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I may not have lost all my marbles just yet.  But there is definitely a small in the bag somewhere.

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Fuck nudes.  Send me a picture of your medicine cabinet.  I need to know what kind of psycho I’m dealing with.

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I’d like to offer moral support but I have questionable morals.

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My lesbian neighbors asked me to help them conceive a child recently.  They said, they don’t mind if we did it the “old fashioned” way as they are pretty easy going.  For 3 months now, we have been trying but I just don’t have the heart to tell them I had a vasectomy last year.

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My curfew was lightning bugs and street lights coming on.  My parents didn’t call my cell phone, they yelled my name.  I played outside, not online.  If I didn’t eat what mom cooked, I didn’t eat.

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My Parents SPANKED Me As A Child

As a result, I now suffer from a psychological condition known as “Respect For Others”

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coollogo_com-31547210

Pink Shirt

pink

Pirates

plan a and plan b

PlanB

Planning

Planning2

Planning3

plastic surgery

Platonic

Play_Dumb

Playground Slide

playing dead

Playing with yourself

 

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3c

Okay, let’s do some of these

Dale


Happy 25th Anniversary!!!

Maggie

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to Impish and Mrs Dragon
I hope you both have a MARVELOUS DAY!!!!!
Maggie

Joe


HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!

Leah D.


I wanted to send you a gift of silver to celebrate a quarter year of marriage . . .
Silver is the material linked with the 25th year of marriage because it is a precious, durable metal, representing the precious and long lasting nature of the couple’s relationship. It is also beautiful, just like an enduring relationship. Silver is also said to represent harmony – something that a couple which have been married for so long but have cultivated!
But quarters aren’t made of silver anymore.

I thought of flowers . . .
25th Anniversary: Iris
Believed to embody the spirit, love, and aura of Paris, the iris wonderfully honors your quarter of a century together. Standing tall and vibrant, the iris represents the strength and futility of your relationship.
But my Iris have already gone through the bloom stage.

So guess I ‘ll just have to wish:
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY YOU TWO!

Sasquatch


Congratulations on finding such an understanding woman. 25 years? Wow. Anywho, I was looking around the woods for an appropriate gift when it struck me that it’s almost donation time of year. 25th anniversary is supposed to be silver but stainless steel will have to do. If you put the information out, I’d like to contribute to another year/ new appliances.  Thanks Sasquatch … like I said at the beginning, the donation button is at the top right section of the blog.  It says, “Donate to keep us free”.  You should be able to find it.

Larry S

Happy Anniversary.! Keep it up. Your almost half way to our 52nd.  Wow!  52 years!  Now that’s something to be proud of!  Congratulations.   Did you guys get married in kindergarten?

Stephanie


So sad that you were not able to make it to Ireland. That is our dream trip. Planning, loosely, on a family trip in about 3 years. We have to go to castle Caldwell in northern Ireland. It’s about 3 km from Belek where the clay for fine porcelain comes from. I’d love to go back a few years and visit in days gone by. Tis a marvelous dream.
Happy Anniversary. Don’t overheat the cave tonight.  We will get there.  No worries.  And as far as overheating goes… that’s what central air is for. [wink!]

boopluver


Happy anniversary

Pat C

Congrats may you have many more healthy and happy ones.

Thank you all for your wonderful wishes.  You have no idea how much it means.  Truly. 

But, I do have to tell a story on myself.  Mrs. Dragon posted something on her Facebook page about it being our anniversary and I responded and said how happy I was and that “You are my best friend.”  Well, at least that’s what I thought I said.  What actually came out was that “You ate my best friend.”  Needless to say that got a lot of laughs from her friends…none of which know of her secret life of being married to a dragon.  So, it was even more of a funny private joke between us.

Great fun!

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According to Aussie Peter … this is the next Uniquely Australian Problem …
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I don’t know how true it is, but regardless, all I can say is …

Better them than us!

Okay, this next one says “Author Unknown” but I’m going to bet that it could have been written by an awful lot of us and it expresses a lot of our feelings and opinions:

I never cared if you were “gay” or whatever acronym you chose to call yourself, until you started shoving it down my throat.

I never cared what color you were, if you were a good human, until you started blaming me for your problems.

I never cared about your political affiliation until you started to condemn me for mine.

I never cared where you were from in this great Republic until you began condemning people based on where they were born and the history that makes them who they are.

I have never cared if you were well off or poor because I’ve been both.  Until you started calling me names for working hard and bettering myself.

I’ve never cared if your beliefs are different than mine.  Until you said my beliefs are wrong.

Now.  I care.  I’ve given all the tolerance I have to give.  This is no longer my problem.  It’s your problem.  You can still fix it.  It’s not too late.  But it will be.  Soon.

I’m a very patient person at times.  But I’m about out of patience.  There are literally Millions of people just like me.

We have had enough.

Well said, Author Unknown, well said. 

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Random Lady at Store:  “You’re supposed to be wearing a mask.”

Me:  “I’m supposed to be wearing underwear too, yet here we are.”

Speaking of wearing masks, as of yesterday evening, it was announced that Walmart nationwide, Sam’s Club, and now Kroger (not sure if all of you guys have Kroger) will all require the wearing of masks to enter their stores.  (Good Luck with getting Walmart people wearing masks, you can’t even get them all to wear pants!) Whether the county or state requires it or not, the stores can still require it because the stores are private property.  The only alternative you have is to not patronize their stores.

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My wife said she wants to … you know … experiment more in the bedroom … but it looks like I’m in the control group.

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On Sunday I stuck my hand into a feather pillow and had a rummage around.  I did the same on Monday and Tuesday.

This morning I went to psychotherapist and told him I’ve been feeling down for a few days.

3a2a

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I know several jokes in sign language.  I guarantee nobody has ever heard them.

3a2b

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We shut the flame off and blow.  How do you blow out candles?

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

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And that’s for today, dear friends.  Remember, you can reach me at impishdragon@gmail.com or by leaving a comment on the blog.  You know I love to hear from you.  Until tomorrow…or the next time I can get one of these put together.  LOL!

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1 Response to Dragon Laffs #1777

  1. Leah D. says:

    The biggest laugh I have had in several days, was your story of are/ate!
    Thanks!

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