Dragon Laffs #1714–Day 31


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Good Morning Campers,

And what a crazy morning it is!  A bunch a crazy shit going on here!  Suffice it to say, that the government squirrels are going bonkers in their bunkers and they are taking it out on this poor little dragon.  Blank dragon12a

We’re having some fun!

I’m gonna write a book…but not until all of this is over.  “How to Survive the Crazy” by Impish Dragon.  It would be a best seller.  On the New York Times Best Seller List for an amazing 100 weeks in a row.

Chapter One: Settle the Fuck Down, People

I was born a poor blue child….

Anyway, it’s time…time to laugh and sing the song of my people.  The song of deep belly laughs and little stomach chuckles.

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Me posting nonsense will continue during the lockdown because it is classified as an Essential Service

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Corona free man seeks corona free lady with toilet paper.  Send pictures of toilet paper!

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Wanna find out who your real friends are?

Ask them to borrow a roll of toilet paper.

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DO NOT call the police on suspicious people in your neighborhood!

Those are just your neighbors without make-up and hair extensions!

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Smoking pot and skipping school had me in trouble constantly.
Now weeds legal and schools closed … damn kids are livin’ the dream!

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On Monday we start Diarrhea Awareness Week.

Runs until Friday.

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A man with unwanted house guests hired a Polka Band to annoy them until they left.

It’s all going accordion to plan.

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Here is a really cool list of things sent by our good buddy Sasquatch!  And it’s called:

The Scale of Things


1.  This is a giant leather back sea turtle.  They grow up to 7 feet long and weigh up to 2,000 pounds
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2.  How many earths would be able to fit inside the sun?  1.3 million Earths!
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3.  Here’s an average sized giant African land snail:
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4.  Eagle talons are enormous:
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5.  The size of an average blue whale’s heart:
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6.  The Titanic in a comparison with a modern cruise liner:
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7.  Quetzalcoatlus Northropi – the largest flying animal to ever live:
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(Well, technically, dragons aren’t mere animals, we are intelligent creatures, so …. hurmmph!!)

8.  A pair of fully-inflated horse lungs:
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9.  This is how big a moose really is:
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10.  Nice to meet you
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11.  Some road signs really are that huge!
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12.  Saltwater crocodiles are huge compared to fresh water crocs
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13.  The view from Earth if our moon was replaced by Saturn:
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14.  The terrifying size of a gorilla’s hand
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15.  Standing beside a single wind turbine blade
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16.  Comparing a comet to the city of Los Angeles
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17.  Here’s a giant oceanic manta ray.
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18.  Here’s how big the United States is in comparison with the moon.
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Yeti, (can I call you Yeti) my mythological brother, thanks for sharing such cool pics with the rest of us.  Nice break from the laughter. 

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Day 1 of working from home: My wife has already filed an HR complaint.

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No need to worry…it’s just me and my friends…and we’re from the government…we’re here to help

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Escape

Ethics

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Evacaution Procedures

Even the Force

Ever Feel Like

Every Shower

every slice of bread

everybody

Everything was going great

Evolution

excellence

Excessive Hoarding

Excuses

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And this next one is liable to replace the ultimate one…you know, this one

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But this next one…..this one is almost as good…if not better

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Yeah, baby!  That’s what I’m talking about!

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Due to the Coronavirus, I will no longer allow hand shaking, fist bumping, or giving hugs.  You may bow to me or give me the finger.  Your choice.

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I have the same problem

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This last one is from brother Wheats!  He made it himself and I think it’s excellent!  Thanks brother Wheats, I hope you’re feeling better. 

And as to the rest of you, that’s it for me

Remember, you can reach me at impishdragon@gmail.com.  Please don’t forget me, the submissions have been falling off, as of late and I haven’t heard from you guys lately.

Be well, be safe, stay home.

Love you all.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

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1 Response to Dragon Laffs #1714–Day 31

  1. Sasquatch says:

    Another excellent posting. I’m not sure about Yeti, that’s a different branch of the family. Every time people hear yeti these days they think of coolers and want to put a case of beer in me. Ya know, as long as they don’t want it back I guess I don’t mind. Stay safe and keep laughing.

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