Dragon Laffs #1704–Day 21


Header1704

Tuesday

Good Morning Campers,

The start to another week,  It’s Monday for me, although you guys are getting this on Tuesday, I hope everyone had a great weekend.  We are having weather today…the wind is blowing like crazy out there.  We are expected to get gusts up to 50 mph.  The last time this happened the neighbor’s roof ended up in my back yard.  I hope something similar doesn’t end up happening again.  tornadoI’m not sure I can take it again.  By the way, 50 mph is above the level of an F0 tornado (40-72 mph)…so, we’re having fun here! 

And just as I typed that last bit, I got an email on the military side from northern Indiana weather saying that we are expecting high winds today and we are under a high wind warning for wind gusts in excess of 50 mph.  There those guys are, trying to protect us.  I’ll get those kinds of emails, with maps, and stuff that I can print out and post all day long.  They really go out of there way to try and protect us.  I’ve been up to their offices.  They do a really good job.Let's Laugh 2

So with that out of the way, I think it’s time to start a little laughter around here….what do you guys think?  Guys?
Guys?
Wow, everyone must still be asleep.  Okay, I’m gonna go get another cup of Coffee and start the movie and you can all catch up.
0aa953

Boy, at that the truth!

Just tried making hand sanitizer, but it came out as Jello Shots

400

That’s awfully cute!

Dear Casinos, it’s no fun losing money, is it??

401

404

402

This is what I’ve been using…it’s working so far.

So the cop pulled me over today
Sir I can smell alcohol on your breath.
Me: that’s because you’re not respecting social distancing

403

2020 is a unique Leap Year.  It has 29 days in February, 300 days in March and 5 years in April.

405

My wife blocked me on Facebook because I post too many bird puns.

Well, toucan play at that game.

406

With so many sporting events being canceled, they’re having to televise the World Origami Championship.

It’s on Paperview.

407

So, the highest wind gust I’ve seen so far this morning is 35 mph.  Now, mind you the warning is supposed to go on till about 8 pm tonight, so there’s still like 11 hours left to go.  But, it’s pretty nasty out there.

954

A vegan said to me people who sell meat are disgusting.

I said people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer

409

What a let down!!!

410

It was just too perfect not to include after the last one.

411

The fact that my entire body cracks like a glowstick when ever I move yet refuses to actually glow is very disappointing.

412

And here’s a fast message from Mom:

Diaman M

Dear son, Day 20…am I in heaven or what?? 20 days of laughs!! Fells like heaven & EVERYONE IS LAUGHING. Love you so much. Mom

Aww, thanks Mom.  Love you right back!

413

Especially now, when they’re out there wondering where the hell you are…now they are coming to look for you.  Now, when you’re laying in bed at night … think about that!  Those nocturnal little beasts, staring in your windows… Oh hell!  Now, I’ve given myself nightmares!

414

Rule #1 for video conference call – Always check your background.
Rule #2 – see rule #1!

Motivate

Democratic Vampires

demotivation

Demotivation2

Denial

denial2

depression for dummies

Depression

depression2

designated driver

despair

Desperation

Determination

Determination2

Devil Cat

Boy, that was a depressing bunch of motivational posters…but then again, we are in the D’s…

955

Quarantine Day 21: Today, I melted an ice cube with my mind just by staring at it.  It took a lot longer than I thought it would.

415

Grocery Store Bagger: “Would you like your milk in a bag?”

Me: “No thanks, I’d rather you leave it in the carton.”

3b

416

A COUPLE OF IMPRESSIVE LIBRARIES

HERE ARE TWO IMPRESSIVE LIBRARIES  ……..

.

LIBRARY NUMBER ONE …..

419

LIBRARY NUMBER TWO…..

420

And actually, library number two holds more books and is the way I prefer my library.  NOT counting what I have on my Amazon library, which they keep track of, on my digital library on my laptop I have over 15,000 books most of which are in multiple formats.  I just checked, there are 85,000 files which includes the books, covers, metadata, folders for the authors, etc and it takes up about 33 gigs of space on my laptop, which means it would all easily fit on a decent thumb drive.  I know there are a bunch of purists out there who think that they have to have a real book in their hands or it’s not the same thing, but with as much as I read, I would go broke, quick.  An no, I have not read all the books, but if someone is looking for a book, there’s a good chance I have it and can email it to them.

417

Is Coronavirus supposed to burn when you pee?  Asking for a friend.

418

I’m reading a horror story in braille… something bad is going to happen … I can feel it.

421

More mail…

3c

Larry S.

You mentioned the base commander and his wife wearing face masks. As of one day this past week, wearing a mask is MANDATORY while visiting the WPAFB Commissary. Thought that you might like to know. Keep up the good work!

Thanks Larry.  Yup, Wright Pat is a bit busier than we are.  Thanks for the nice words.

They changed the report here in Indiana from 10 am to noon and here it is about 1130 and I find myself waiting anxiously for today’s numbers.  Will today be the day that we begin to see a down-turn or will it be another huge surge upward?

422

423

And that does it for me…. my afternoon got busy …. oh!  The numbers look… promising.  They didn’t go up as much as I feared and they didn’t go down as much as I hoped.  So, we’ll see tomorrow, I guess.

Love to you all.  Take care, be well, stay home, stay safe.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

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3 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1704–Day 21

  1. Leah D says:

    HELP IMPISH!!!! have you been getting emails from me? For some reason now when I try to email you, my msn mailbox is giving me all kinds of hell. I’m not even sure I am getting through to you. Please email me and let me know.

  2. Leah D says:

    Thank you for my favorite entertainment, morning coffee with the latest Dragon Laffs!
    I think my new form of entertainment is going to be placing bets with my husband, on which of the grocery items I will order today, will be missing from our order when we pick the order up.
    Then we will move on to a challenge . . . what can you cook with what you got?
    I’m sure I’ll win that one because I have been practicing for years with the ‘what can you cook with what you can afford?’

  3. Stephanie Caldwell says:

    For some reason I am again allowed to respond to you (now dragon baby, keep it clean).
    Yes! Happy feet.
    Love you muchly.

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