Dragon Laffs #1705–Day 22


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Wednesday 2

Good Morning Campers,

It is hump day!  Half way through the week!  It’s almost the weekend!  It’s … okay, so I’m reaching here!  Work with me a little bit! 

I have to go out to the base this morning for a super secret message!  I know, there’s some of you out there who think the FEMA Death Camps are coming and it’s Martial Law!  Yeah, whatever!  I’m taking Izzy with me, to get her out of the house.  She’ll have to wait in the car for the 20 minutes it will take me to run in and read the message, but then we are going to go to the grocery and pick up a few things.  Or, actually, we’ll probably do that first and get the message last.

Before we get started today, I’d like to read you part of a message that our Vice Wing Commander sent out recently ….just some bits and pieces of it.  Most of it won’t apply so I’m going to take snippets out of it.

With most states being under strict social distancing guidelines and our economy dealing with the loss of business it is important for us to pause and appreciate what we do have.

We need to find the best approach to live under the pressures w are all under.

I wanted to take a moment to address fear.  What we are going through is hard.

If you think about it, until recently, more time was spent with work family then with your own.  That has changed.

Many are trying to manage kids’ schooling, telework, dealing with technology challenges, or may have even endured the loss of a job.

Everyone is stressed.  You may have been the recipient of someone “snapping” at you or maybe you “snapped” at a loved one or coworker.

Don’t take it personal.  Now is the time to have grace, apologize and encourage one another.  A time to give people a little bit of latitude.

Because all of our lives have drastically changed, think about what kids, friends or loved ones will say  years from now.

Will your children remember the e-learning class that just didn’t work out?

No, they will remember the time spent with one another.

The memories you make by going for walks, playing games, and those activities that kept you busy during this troubling time.

Focus on your family and friends.  Connect!

Check on those you care about or have concerns for.  It is so important to connect with one another right now.

Don’t focus on the negative.  We are strong!

Stay strong even when it seems like everything is falling apart around you, it is one step at a time.

I want to leave you with one word – hope.

Never give up, don’t lose the faith, and have hope.

I look forward to seeing you all again very soon.  What a joyful time that will be!

Take care of yourselves, and each other.

And each and everyone of you can take that message  into your own lives, I think and find a little something to take from it.  Now, let’s find something to laugh about shall we?

0a1

400

Now them there’s some masks, Granny!

Posted on Facebook, this is far too true to be funny:  “Essential Workers” sounds so lame…So, from this day forward, we shall be known as the “Suicide Squad”

401

Sweetheart, that is just SO wrong!

Mother Nature apologizes for the late arrival of spring.

Father Time was driving and refused to stop and ask for directions!

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I never thought I’d be saying this, but I think that cup size is a little too big for what you are trying to cover.

I saw two men arguing in a store and the one called the other an “ass wipe”

300 shoppers came out of nowhere!  Choose your words wisely!

404

Um…. no

Gas is almost under $1, restaurants are all drive-in style, and everyone has shaggy hair.  Welcome to the 1970s!

405

He looks like some sort of strange superhero, panty-faced man!

406

He just looks horrified!

407

And she just looks terribly wrong!

I sent my son next door with luggage, they called and asked why, I said, Foreign Exchange Student.  #homeschool Level Pro.

408

Did you know there isn’t a single person alive today who is married?

409

How messed up is it that Cinco de Mayo finally falls on Taco Tuesday and will get messed up by a virus with the same name as a Mexican beer?

410

If a dentist makes money off people with bad teeth, why would I buy toothpaste that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?

411

Mail Call 1

Let’s go check the mail box, shall we?

Leah D

Thank you for my favorite entertainment, morning coffee with the latest Dragon Laffs!
I think my new form of entertainment is going to be placing bets with my husband, on which of the grocery items I will order today, will be missing from our order when we pick the order up.
Then we will move on to a challenge . . . what can you cook with what you got?
I’m sure I’ll win that one because I have been practicing for years with the ‘what can you cook with what you can afford?’

Yup, played that last one a lot when I was a young airman in the Air Force.  Look in the cabinet and decide … what can you make with pasta tonight that you didn’t make with pasta in the last couple of days. 
Hotdogs were always a favorite.  Hamburger meat was a splurge  and if we REALLY wanted to go all out, we’d have cube steak, but only if we could get it on sale at the Commissary.  Usually when it only had like a day or so left before it expired.

Ah… the good old days

Stephanie C

For some reason I am again allowed to respond to you (now dragon baby, keep it clean).
Yes! Happy feet.
Love you muchly.

Aww, now what fun is keeping it clean!

412

This one comes from buddy waymore…

The Bozo Criminal for today is not a criminal in the strictest sense, but he did violate the law. From Tampa, Florida comes Bozo McCormick Jones who wanted to make sure his brother could find his house when he came to visit last Saturday. The Bozo decided to put something out front to make his house immediately identifiable. His brilliant idea–put a fake bomb on the mailbox! Looked pretty good, too, orange tubes, flashing lights, a buzzer and the words “Acme TNT” on the side. Looked so real, the neighbors called the cops who notified the bomb squad. Before the Bozo knew what was going on, he was arrested for planting a hoax bomb device, which is a felony.

Can we all say it together…

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413

slap1

1

Diamonds

diarrhea

Dichotomy

didheseeme

Differences

Dignity Check

Dignity

Dildo tester

dilemma

Dill Dough

Dinner for two

Nope, I’m tired of pointing it out.

diplomacy

diplomacy2

Diplomacy3

414

A weasel walks into a bar.
The bartender looks up and says, “Wow!  In all my years tending bar, I’ve never had a weasel stop by.  What can I get you?”
”Pop,” goes the weasel.

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415

3a

416

Oh HELL no!

417

And yet, again… one more reference the kidlets won’t get.

418

419

420

421

422

Sorry, short issue today folks, spent too much time out on the base.  Hopefully it will be better tomorrow.

Be well, take care.  Stay home, stay safe.  Love you all.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

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1 Response to Dragon Laffs #1705–Day 22

  1. Leah D. says:

    I actually like this ‘order and wait’ grocery shopping. Then thought of items I should have ordered. This morning I found I can keep adding to my order up to the night before I pick it up on Tuesday, April 21.
    Wish I could correct my husbands To Do list as easily.

    So, around 9 pm last night, we had a 4.2 hit us. Seems it is an aftershock, not of the 5.7 that hit us, but of a “mini” quake we had a few days ago. That makes me nervous when the aftershocks are bigger than the original “mini quake” located by Saltair, on the edge of the Great Salt Lake.
    It’s good to have a bigger worry than the virus.

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