Leprechaun Laffs # 91 for Monday 07/18


Lep Laff Evil leprechaun Banner

monday29

Yeah ok like that Monday graphic isn’t going to get old and annoying really fast. I better keep this moving right along. I’d change the banner but I have a colossal case of the ‘Idontwannas’ which I suffered from most of the weekend now coupled with a giant dose of the ‘UnmotivatedMondayManicMania’. Finally as if that’s not bad enough, I apparently have something wrong with my vision today. Not only are my optic and rectal nerves crossed giving me a shitty outlook, I can’t I see myself doing shit today either. Could I be approaching a serene state of total ambivalence?

Fortunately we have a guest reader wit out Last Word today, so that’s one less thing I have to do to get this issue off to press.

I guess we better get this show on the road before my condition deteriorates anymore and I decide to cancel today due to complete lack of interest! You guys go on without me I’m taking my coffee to couch for a couple hours and see if I can’t improve my mood.

So Make With The Laughing Already!

!cid_ii_131003a7a097fd4b

That’s just about my attitude this morning too!

 

image_thumb59

This transcript of official Court testimony reportedly occurred in County Cork court, deep in Munster, Ireland:
Said the court Solicitor, “Now, if you please, Mr. O’Flaherty, at the scene of the accident, did you tell the Garda officer that you had never felt better in your life?”
O’Flaherty, a farmer, replied, “That’s correct, sir. Yes, I did.”
The Solicitor then asked, “Well, Mr. O’Flaherty, would you please tell the court how can it be that you are now claiming to be seriously injured when my client’s car hit your cart?”
O’Flaherty replied, “When the Garda arrived, he walked over to my horse, who had a broken leg, and shot him without even a how do you do.”
“Then he walked over to Darcy, my dear dog, my lifelong companion, who was also quite badly hurt, and shot him.”
“So, when the Garda asked me how I felt, under the circumstances, I thought that it was a wise choice of words to say I’d never felt better in me life.”

DL-Introspection-Header_thumb2_thumb

24 Irish Maxims for Life

1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day.
Tomorrow is not looking good either.
2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make
As they go flying by.
3. Tell me what you need, and I’ll tell you how to get along without
it.
4. Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
5. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If s/he isn’t there
The first time, chances are you won’t be needing her/him again.
6. I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
7. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I
Thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
8. My reality check bounced.
9. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
10. I don’t suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
11. You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut
Butter.
12. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy
And taste good with ketchup.
13. Everybody is somebody else’s weirdo.
14. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level,
Then beat you with experience.
15. A pat on the back is only a few centimetres from a kick in the
Butt.
16. Don’t be irreplaceable – if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be
Promoted.
17. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of
The month than you did before.
18. The more rubbish you put up with, the more rubbish you are going
To get.
19. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a
Clipboard.
20. Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing
Worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
21. If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.
22. When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
23. Following the rules will not get the job done.
24. When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more
easily by reducing it to the question, “How would the SEAL Team 6
handle this?”

 

image_thumb71

 

image_thumb74

image

My last Wednesday’s Last Word dealing with the execution here in Texas of a Mexican National for Rape and Murder as well as my follow on thoughts and comments are still hitting home with some folks. If you are not reading these Dragon & Leprechaun Laffs on the blog site (http://dragonlaffs.com) as we intend for them to be you are really missing out on the full effect as well as the comments and the opportunity to make your own comments.

Dan- NYC says: July 16, 2011 at 13:07

Definitely secure the border as stated above and cages the animals south of it. Then let’s see what’s left to do.

It’s probably worth remembering that China is in the wings and would gladly take over the role of patron or in the case of Mexico, the John.

eric says: July 15, 2011 at 01:54 [sic]

close the borders, remove all illeagles, cut all aid, bring our boys home, let them kill themselves, protect our soil, cut all aid to everyone who is not a legal resident, send mexico or whatever country the bill, freeze all raises for our public servants and force them to follow all the laws they passed, let the people of this country have a say in all the decisions for this great country, right or wrong, if you represent me in washington, i want my voice heard!! back to basics, if not this great experiment of democracy will fail… then where do we go???

paul says: July 15, 2011 at 15:41 [sic]

Eric:
don’t forget term limits – we desperaly need those – politics was never intended to be a career, but a service to your country

Ok back to me now.

Dan~ China seems to be largely staying away from the ‘client state business’. The only one that I am aware of them having is North Korea and I get the impression that they really had little choice in that matter given the common border and the threat of having a client state of the U.S. bordering them otherwise.

One thing for sure though. If Mexico did become a client state of China’s for some reason you’d see and end to NAFTA and that border wall go up in rapid succession short order.

Personally I see them becoming a client of Venezuela and buddy buddy with the likes of Hugo Chavez and the Castros before China.

Eric~ Actually from my research into that e~mail I think you are alluding to about public servants following the laws they create the fact they do not is pretty much urban legend and hype. As OI have stated many times previous, I’d like to see their raises voted on by the American people, every two years at election time right on the ballot. Seriously how many other employers do you know of where the employees tell their employers they have decided to give themselves raises and the employer has no say in it? As to ‘the small folk’ having a say, you are touching on something I have been kicking around for a while now and will eventually when I figure enough of it out suggest in a  Last Word, that our Congressional Representatives need to be subject to our direct input and vote the will of the people they represent. This goes back to the raise issue as well. If you vote raises for specific individuals by district based on how they preformed and how they represented the interests and will of the people in their respective districts, if their record of votes versus the input of their constituents is readily available to their constituents then you’ll start seeing far more accountability out of our politicians.

Paul~ You are one hundred percent correct however I don’t think that should be limited to just politicians. there are too many people in government making a career out of it for the free ride. It seems once you get a position in government even if you are grossly incompetent unless you attract the attention of the national media you have a job for life. I see very few positions that should be careers and I think that proficiency exams, continuing education and performance reviews should be mandatory for keeping a federal position.

Lastly I came across this news item which touches on the issue of Texas executing a Mexican national sort of:

Alleged teen assassin heads to Mexico trial

15-year-old American who began life of crime at 11 only faces 3 years if convicted in the deaths of four men

By DUDLEY ALTHAUS HOUSTON CHRONICLE July 16, 2011, 6:58AM
CUERNAVACA, Mexico — The accused adolescent assassin universally known by his nickname “El Ponchis” goes to trial Monday, now a famous face among the growing phalanx of teens filling the ranks of killers and victims in Mexico’s gangster wars.

Edgar Jimenez, born in San Diego but raised in a tattered industrial suburb of central Mexico, publicly confessed when arrested by soldiers in December to killing four men in a criminal career that began when he was 11. He turned 15 in May.

The Mexican federal charges against him range from murder and kidnapping to drug dealing and weapons possession. If convicted, Jimenez faces only three years in prison because of his status as a minor. And as an American citizen, he is entitled to move north of the border after prison.

Jimenez will have an oral trial, akin to those in the United States, and his fate will be decided by a juvenile judge in Cuernavaca, capital of violence-plagued Morelos state south of Mexico City.

Jimenez — whose father said he earned the El Ponchis nickname because he was a stoutly built toddler — and two older sisters were arrested moments before boarding a plane to Tijuana en route to their mother’s home in San Diego. Paraded before television cameras and standing shoulder high to the soldiers flanking him, the boy said he had slit the throats of men at the behest of one of Mexico’s largest narcotics gangs.

That confession will be inadmissible in the trial because of judicial reforms enacted to end the widespread practice of torture-induced confessions. Whether Jimenez actually committed murders, or how many, presumably will be determined in the trial.

Morelos is one of just a handful of Mexican states that have replaced traditional closed-door justice — in which defendants are presumed guilty — with oral trials in which prosecutors bear the burden of proof. All Mexican states will be required to hold oral trials within the next four years.

Under Morelos’ recent judicial reforms, the focus is to rehabilitate juvenile offenders and return them to society. Defendants aged 14 to 16 face a maximum three years in prison, regardless of their offenses. Older minors can be jailed no more than five years, while those under 12 face no prison time at all.

[excerpted for brevity and certain passages highlighted  by LethalLeprechaun]

Holy shit! An American national in Mexican court? Has he had his right to see his Embassy consul explained to him in his native language?

are we sending a legal team to defend him with tales of a broken home and a loss of identity? how he fell in with a bad crowd at an young and impressionable age? How he felt he had no choice if he wanted to live?

O wait, this is an AMERICAN we are talking about! Shit the kid is screwed! Obama is probably already working on a national apology speech for they day they convict the kid.

Regarding the yellow highlighted portion of the news article above, that’s the Mexican judicial system and what passes for justice in Mexico and they presume to come here and lecture us on the finer points of justice and capitol punishment?! SERIOUSLY?! 

Regarding the orange highlighted portion of the news article, gee is it any wonder they are ass deep in criminals drug cartels and a corrupt military, police force and government? Why not just give him a stern talking to and a time out? It ought to be about as effective!

OK Moving On! Want Your Comments And View Point Heard?

You can only do it from the blog!

image_thumb87

Sadly, the whereabouts of Lethal’s wife Molly’s remains are still a mystery. Lethal was indicted for Murder despite the lack of a body but acquitted my an all male jury after 5 minutes deliberation on the first ballot.

Celtic Cupboard

Here is a quick and dirty version and then a healthier version for you finicky folk. It’s good hot or room temp and about all you really need to go with it is a simple tossed salad

LAYERED ENCHILADA CASSEROLE

2 lbs. ground beef
1 can (16 oz.) refried beans
1 pkg. (1 3/4 oz.) taco seasoning mix
1 pkg. (10 oz.) corn tortillas
1 can (15 oz.) tomato sauce
1 can enchilada sauce
16 oz. shredded cheddar cheese (sharp)

Brown ground beef, drain, stir in beans, seasoning mix and 1 cup water. Simmer for 10 minutes. Pour enchilada sauce on pie plate. Dip both sides of tortillas in sauce. Layer beef mixture, cheese and tortillas in 13 x 9 x 2 inch pan. Top with cheese. Cover with foil. Bake at 375 degrees for 45 minutes.

In place of the enchilada sauce I use roughly 8 oz of chunky salsa drained and run through a blender. Then I add back in a little of the drained juices and a pinch of chili powder to correct for flavor and consistency. This does need a few minutes in a sauce pan but I always have salsa on hand as opposed to enchilada sauce which Molly doesn’t like. If you were less worried about authenticity I suppose you could use a less sweet Sloppy Joe sauce or a spicy non sweet  BBQ sauce in a pinch.

ENCHILADA CASSEROLE

Prep: 25 min.
Bake: 25 min.

Ingredients
1 pound ground turkey
1-1/2 cups chopped onions
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 tablespoon plus 1/3 cup vegetable oil, divided
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
2 tablespoons chili powder
3/4 teaspoon seasoned salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper
4 cups water
12 corn tortillas (6 inches)
1-1/2 cups (6 ounces) shredded cheddar cheese
1-1/2 cups salsa

Directions
In a large skillet over medium heat, cook the turkey, onions and garlic in 1 tablespoon oil until no longer pink; drain. Sprinkle with the flour, chili powder, seasoned salt and pepper. Add water; bring to a boil. Reduce heat; simmer, uncovered, for 8-10 minutes or until reduced.
In another skillet, fry tortillas in remaining oil for about 15 seconds, turning once. Drain well. Cut nine tortillas in half. Place cut edge of one tortilla against each short side of a greased 11-in. X 7-in. Baking dish. Place cut edge of two tortillas against long sides of dish, overlapping to fit. Place a whole tortilla in center.
Spoon 2 cups of meat mixture over tortillas; sprinkle with 1/2 cup cheese. Repeat layers. Top with remaining tortillas and meat sauce.
Bake, uncovered, at 375° for 20 minutes. Sprinkle with remaining cheese. Bake 5-10 minutes longer or until cheese is melted. Serve with salsa.
Yield: 8 servings.

Save yourself a pile of time and grief, spray the tortillas lightly with PAM, stack them and wrap in a lightly dampened paper towel. then microwave for about 20 seconds. you’ll achieve the same results as frying them which is really just to soften them and make them pliable so they do not break while you line the pan.

Nutrition Facts: 1 serving (1 cup) equals 430 calories, 27 g fat (9 g saturated fat), 63 mg cholesterol, 634 mg sodium, 29 g carbohydrate, 5 g fiber, 17 g protein.

image_thumb65

For their anniversary, a couple went out for a romantic dinner. Their teenage daughters said they would fix a dessert and leave it waiting.

When they got home, they saw that the dining room table was beautifully set with china, crystal and candles. There was a note that read, “Your dessert is in the refrigerator. We are staying with friends, so go ahead and do something we wouldn’t do!”

“I suppose,” the husband responded, “we could clean the house…”

image_thumb81

A woman is at home when she hears someone knock at the door. She goes to the door and opens the door to see a man standing there. He asks the lady “Do you have a vagina?”She slams the door in disgust…

The next morning she hears a knock at the door, it is the same man, and he asks the same question of the woman, “Do you have a vagina?” She slams the door again.

Later that night when her husband gets home she tells him what has happened for the last two days. The husband tells the wife in a loving and concerned voice, “Honey I am taking tomorrow off to be home just in case this guy shows up again.”

The next morning they hear a knock at the door and both run for the door.The husband says to the wife in a whispered voice “Honey, I’m going to hide behind the door and listen, and if it is the same guy, I want you to answer yes to the question because I want to see where he is going with it.” She nods yes to her husband and opens the door.

Sure enough the same fellow is standing there and asks the same question. “Do you have vagina?””
Yes!” she says……
The man replies, Good! Would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife’s alone and start using yours!!

Leprechaun-Tech-Talk_thumb3

This is extremely cool!

OK so last week Impish stole my thunder once again by beating me to this first clip about 3 dimension printers making solid structurally strong objects that even have moving parts. Usually its me doing it to him so I guess I cannot grumble too much about it. However as usual he only told half of a really cool story and shockingly left the best part out. What better than printing a wrench when you need one? How about 3 dimensionally printing something edible out of chocolate?

3D PRINTER

Enter video caption here

Thanks to Sammemom for showing us this, but I think this next printer is going to prove even more popular!

The World’s First 3D Chocolate Printer

Enter video caption here

Read more about it here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/07/08/3d-chocolate-printer_n_893381.html

image_thumb56

Years ago when Northern Ireland endured so much violence in Belfast and the anti English sentiment stirred such passion among the Catholics, Father Sheehan was an avowed anti British pastor, who would denounce the Brits every Sunday from his pulpit. His sermons became so notorious that Father Sheehan was summoned before Bishop Flanagan for a dressing down.
“Father,” began Bishop Flanagan, “You know that the Church seeks peace between Northern Ireland and the British, but your sermons are having the opposite effect and are stirring up violence instead. I want you to promise me and to swear by all that is holy that you will never mention the British in your sermons or in public again.”
“But Bishop, I cannot…” stammered Father Sheehan.
“No buts,” demanded the Bishop. “You can and you will. Now Swear to me at this very moment or you will feel my wrath!”
“Alright, Bishop Flanagan,” Father Sheehan replied grudgingly. “Alright. I swear by all that is holy.”
The following Sunday found Father Sheehan back in his pulpit in Belfast, preaching.
The sermon concerned the Last Supper when Jesus was telling his disciples, “And one of you shall betray Me.”
Father Sheehan remarked: “First one disciple says to Jesus, ‘Is it I Lord?’ and Jesus replies, ‘No, it’s not you.’”
Next Father Sheehan said that “a second disciple rises and cries, ‘Is it I Lord?’ And Christ says, ‘No, it’s not you.’”
Finally Father Sheehan described Judas Iscariot’s actions, “Then the conniving, lowly Judas Iscariot rises to his feet. The dog looks the Lord in the eyes, while saying, ‘Blimey, Mate. Ya think it’s me?’”

image_thumb84

At the banquet of their 25th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. “Tell us, Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?”

Tom responds, “Well, I’ve learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness and a great many other qualities you wouldn’t have needed if you’d stayed single.”

image_thumb78

coollogo_com-10333644

Well this is not the guest reader’s comments I thought I had. I apparently mislaid them someplace or am just too blind to see them amidst the hundreds of e~mails in my Inbox. So instead of one guest Last Word author we’re having two since both of their remarks are on the same subject, namely the game in Impish’s Last Word on Friday for balancing the budget.

First up on the soapbox we have Tom who wrote us at the owner’s e~mail. Take it away Tom:

Hi Dragon & Lethal too!

I tried the budget game and did fairly well, but it’s incomplete and no way to be accurate. That’s why it’s a game.

Did you know that the government owns 650 million acres of unused land? That’s about 1/3 of the country. If just 3.3 million of those acres were sold to private people it would produce tax free revenue and jobs. We spend 25 billion per year to maintain vacant property. Why?

Gas and oil leases would increase revenue without raising taxes and produce jobs at the same time.

I don’t believe the debt ceiling thing is what the debate is about at all. It’s about raising taxes so the libs can spend more of our money. Tell Obama that we can’t raise the debt ceiling, but we’ll raise tax and he’ll jump at it in a second.

The problems cannot and will not be solved with Obama and his crew in the White House. If republicans give an inch, it will be end and we will have lost.

Thanks for listening;

Tom

And now up on the soapbox for his five minutes of fame and to express his view we have our regular commenter Dan from NYC. Youse is up dere Dan:

The options are limited and skewed left of center but still a somewhat thought provoking exercise.

For example, Social Security only has two options – raising the retirement age and slowing increases. Other options such as raising or eliminating the contribution ceiling above the current $108,000 level is absent. Also the military and tax options were overly simplistic. Still managed to put off the grim reaper until 2042 by reducing the debt from 75.5% in 2012 to 33.8% and and shrank government from 25.9% to 19.8% in 2021. Taxes include doing away with oil (Big Oil in their terms) and extractive industries tax breaks and well as the mortgage interest deduction.

I got the Efficient Government badge but not the National Security or Energy Independence.

OK I feel my self sliding further into total ambivalence and I have a pile of shows to catch up on on the DVR that Molly doesn’t watch so that’s all for today folks, see you on Wednesday.

Untill we meet again closing

About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s