If I don’t start fights and arguments with today’s issue, I’m not sure I ever will.  Today’s Last Word is extra-ordinarily controversial.  There will be more of an explanation as to where it came from and why I decided to use it with it at the bottom in the Last Word. This is going to generate some serious controversy and I agonized long and hard about actually using the article…but more of that later. 

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day.  And although both my mother and my mother-in-law have passed on, there are many other mothers in my life that I am thankful for.  First and foremost, of course is my own dear Mrs. Dragon, who has been mother to my children, then there are all you mother’s out there who, among the myriad of other jobs you have, raise children as well, and finally, the mothers of the world…..I have the deepest respect and admiration for the job that “most” of you do.  Thank you for your efforts and you will be blessed.

Now, without further ado…..

Okay, this is a GREAT prank!
http://www.dump.com/2011/02/25/mannequin-head-drop-prank-video/ 

From Zack…..short and … really, really bad:
I get distracted by all the meats in the deli section, must be
my short attention spam.

Worse than any horror movie I’ve ever seen.  This just scared the crap out of me and it’s only a little over 3 minutes long…
http://www.youtube.com/embed/VtVbUmcQSuk 

What is it?  Why, it’s the birth of music.  Of course!  What else would it be?

Boy, today’s issue is just chock full of interesting stuff.  Here’s another one:

Everybody knows what a PT Boat is, but very few people actually realize how hard service was on one of them in WWII.   In the South Pacific they island hopped right along with the Soldiers and Marines operating out of small coves with little support and repair facilities.   Though they were plywood they attacked Japanese destroyers, cruisers and battleships with exceptional bravery.    They were often jokingly referred to as the Mosquito Navy but their bite was vicious and deadly!

Thought you might enjoy watching this.

PT 658

More puns from Diaman
Gossips have a keen sense of rumor.
He told me he could eat a 32 ounce steak, but I found that hard to swallow.

Thanks to Steph for this one:

Collective Nouns For Doctors
A Spread of Gynecologists
A Buttload of Proctologists
A Supporting Cast of Orthopedists
A Hive of Allergists
A Press of Dental Hygienists
A Carvery of Surgeons
A Golf-cart of Private-physicians
A Growth of Oncologists
A Vision of Optometrists
An Insanity of Psychologists

Oh yeah….I meant to do that.

Looks like a bad day… a really bad day, I count the beginnings of at least 5 tornadoes.

 

Medical Marijuana, by Robert Klein.  Amazingly, he sings really well.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jQN6y5mW08&feature=email 

You know….it’s sexy when done by a woman, to a man, with her breasts….okay, well may not “sexy”.  But unlike this picture, at least it’s not GROSS.  This is just wrong.

This qualifies as a “Holy Crap” simply because of the “You’ve got to be kidding me” factor.

I have NO explanation for this picture.

A young Texan grew up wanting to be a law man. 
He grew up big, 6′ 2’ strong as a longhorn, and fast as a mustang. He could shoot a bottle cap tossed in the air at 40 paces. When he finally came of age, he applied to where he had only dreamed of working: the West Texas  Sheriff’s Department. After a big mess of tests and interviews, the Chief Deputy BOB finally called him into his office for the young man’s last interview.
The Chief Deputy said, “You’re a big strong kid and you can really shoot. So far your qualifications all look real good, but we have what you might call an ‘attitude suitability test’ that you must take before you can be accepted. We just don’t let anyone carry our badge son.” Then, sliding a service pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, the Chief said, “Take this pistol and go out and shoot: six illegal aliens, six lawyers, six meth dealers, six Muslim extremists, six sex offenders and a rabbit.”
“Why the rabbit?”
“Great attitude. You pass.” says the Chief Deputy.  “When can you start?”

My new outdoor Man cave.  All I need is a decent laptop with wifi and I won’t come back in the house until Winter. 

Here’s a Moldy Oldie, and I honestly can’t believe I’m using it, except that it’s SO bad, you just have to smile at the end.  And it comes from…. you guessed it….our own Zack.  Often imitated, but never duplicated.

When the driver of a huge trailer lost control of his rig, he plowed into an empty tollbooth and smashed it to pieces. He climbed down from the wreckage and within a matter of minutes; a truck pulled up and discharged a crew of workers. The men picked up each broken piece of the former tollbooth and spread some kind of creamy substance on it. Then they began fitting the pieces together. In less than a half hour, they had the entire tollbooth reconstructed and looking good as new.

“Astonishing!” the truck driver said to the crew chief.

“What was the white stuff you used to get all the pieces together?”

The crew chief said, “Oh, that was tollgate booth paste.”

I have tried to fact check this in as many different ways as I know how.  The article itself is published in MANY different locations on the web, in one form or another, but it seems the original came from a website called socyberty.com.  Now, this website itself doesn’t seem to have any kind of reputation, good or bad, that I could dig up.  Now, some of you may be much better at this sort of investigation than I am, and if so, I’d love to hear your take on all of this, but let me tell you how it all started.
I was going to ignore this send, simply because it was too controversial, but yesterday, Lethal got a response to one of his inputs that went something like this…if you didn’t see it in the comments section (and if you didn’t, why aren’t you reading the blog on line like you should so you can see all the comments and stuff?)

I viewed a video clip last night of Bush in 2003 stating that he had
given up on trying to capture Bin Laden, that Bin Laden was not
important, and that he (Bush) was going to concentrate on more important
matters. In 2005, the only Special Ops Unit targeting Bin Laden was
disbanded. Under
Rumsfeld DOD, CIA, were poorly coordinated in counter-terrorist
operations. Water boarding had produced poor results.
Obama did in 2 years what Bush could not do in seven and one half years.
It was done by proper coordinating our intelligence agencies, and
obtaining and using data effectively. The mission was brilliantly
conceived and conducted.
Just once I would be pleased to hear some positive statements from the
neo- conservative Right wingers about our President.
Don

Well, that just pissed me off and took the following article from the shelf, and put it back in the Last Word.  (Sorry, this is going to be really long, but well worth the read…) He thinks Obama did such a shit-hot job?  Here’s the opposite view.  Not sure which of the two is correct, but the second one seems to ring with too much detail to not at least be partially true.

OVERVIEW:
There have been reports not shown in the media depicting serious divisions
existing between Mr. Obama and the majority of his National Security Team.
The below mentioned report brings into focus the events by and between the
Director of the CIA, the Secretary of Defense, State, two Senior Advisors to
the President, and Mr. Obama on the day the assault on Osama Bin Laden’s
compound was launched. The description of events, and more importantly,
the description of a Commander-in-Chief kept out of the loop is troubling on
many levels. It appears the military has lost respect for this President;
not
the Office of the President, but the person now occupying the office. If
this depiction is accurate, then we have crossed into very, very unstable
terrain.
Weak, conflicted, an ideologue without full and complete appreciation for
the American Heritage are all manners in which Mr. Obama has been previously
described over the months. These observations set a
collision course between Mr. Obama, his military leaders and advisors, other
senior advisors, and the country itself.
LYLE J. RAPACKI, Ph.D.
Protective Intelligence and Assessment Specialist
Consultant at Behavioral Analysis and Threat Assessment
Private-Sector Intelligence Analyst

I did some checking on Lyle Rapacki and depending on which website you read, he’s either a very intelligent, super smart security expert, or he’s a pawn of the devil and/or Satan’s spawn. (Depends on whether you believe, his website, the far religious, zelous, right, or anyone else.) I read some of his other articles that seem very insightful and factual, but again, I’m a neophyte and am not really the one to say what’s true and what’s not.  I just offer this article in response to Don and others, who seems to think that President Obama, single-handedly, drug Bin Laden from the bunker.
_______
White House Insider: Obama Hesitated –
Panetta Issued Order to Kill Osama Bin Laden
“What Valerie Jarrett, and the president, did not know is that Leon Panetta
had already initiated a program that reported to him -and only him,
involving a covert on the ground attack against the compound.”
Q: You stated that President Obama was “overruled” by military/intelligence
officials regarding the decision to send in military specialists into the
Osama Bin Laden compound. Was that accurate?
A: I was told – in these exact terms, “we overruled him.” (Obama) I have
since followed up and received further details on exactly what that meant,
as well as the specifics of how Leon Panetta worked around the president’s
“persistent hesitation to act.” There appears NOT to have been an outright
overruling of any specific position by President Obama, simply because there
was no specific position from the president to do so. President Obama was,
in this case, as in all others, working as an absentee president.
I was correct in stating there had been a push to invade the compound for
several weeks if not months, primarily led by Leon Panetta, Hillary Clinton,
Robert Gates, David Petraeus, and Jim Clapper. The primary opposition to
this plan originated from Valerie Jarrett, and it was her opposition that
was enough to create uncertainty within President Obama. Obama would meet
with various components of the pro-invasion faction, almost always with
Jarrett present, and then often fail to indicate his position. This
situation continued for some time, though the division between Jarrett/Obama
and the rest intensified more recently, most notably from Hillary Clinton.
She was livid over the president’s failure to act, and her office began a
campaign of anonymous leaks to the media indicating such. As for Jarrett,
her concern rested on two primary fronts. One, that the military action
could fail and harm the president’s already weakened standing with both the
American public and the world. Second, that the attack would be viewed as
an act of aggression against Muslims, and further destabilize conditions in
the Middle East.
Q: What changed the president’s position and enabled the attack against
Osama Bin Laden to proceed?
A: Nothing changed with the president’s opinion – he continued to avoid
having one. Every time military and intelligence officials appeared to make
progress in forming a position, Jarrett would intervene and the stalling
would begin again. Hillary started the ball really rolling as far as
pressuring Obama began, but it was Panetta and Petraeus who ultimately
pushed Obama to finally act – sort of. Panetta was receiving significant
reports from both his direct CIA sources, as well as Petraeus-originating
Intel. Petraeus was threatening to act on his own via a bombing attack.
Panetta reported back to the president that a bombing of the compound would
result in successful killing of Osama Bin Laden, and little risk to American
lives. Initially, as he had done before, the president indicated a
willingness to act. But once again, Jarrett intervened, convincing the
president that innocent Pakistani lives could be lost in such a bombing
attack, and Obama would be left attempting to explain Panetta’s failed
policy. Again Obama hesitated – this time openly delaying further meetings
to discuss the issue with Panetta. A brief meeting was held at this time
with other officials, including Secretary Gates and members of the Joint
Chiefs of Staff, but Gates, like Panetta, was unable to push the president
to act. It was at this time that Gates indicated to certain Pentagon
officials that he may resign earlier than originally indicated – he was that
frustrated. Both Panetta and Clinton convinced him to stay on and see the
operation through.
What happened from there is what was described by me as a “masterful
manipulation” by Leon Panetta. Panetta indicated to Obama that leaks
regarding knowledge of Osama Bin Laden’s location were certain to get out
sooner rather than later, and action must be taken by the administration or
the public backlash to the president’s inaction would be “.significant to
the point of political debilitation.” It was at that time that Obama stated
an on-ground campaign would be far more acceptable to him than a bombing
raid. This was intended as a stalling tactic, and it had originated from
Jarrett. Such a campaign would take both time, and present a far greater
risk of failure. The president had been instructed by Jarrett to inform
Mr., Panetta that he would have sole discretion to act against the Osama Bin
Laden compound. Jarrett believed this would further delay Panetta from
acting, as the responsibility for failure would then fall almost entirely on
him. What Valerie Jarrett, and the president, did not know is that Leon
Panetta had already initiated a program that reported to him -and only him,
involving a covert on the ground attack against the compound. Basically,
the whole damn operation was already ready to go – including the specific
team support Intel necessary to engage the enemy within hours of being given
notice. Panetta then made plans to proceed with an on-ground assault. This
information reached either Hillary Clinton or Robert Gates first (likely via
military contacts directly associated with the impending mission) who then
informed the other. Those two then met with Panetta, who informed each of
them he had been given the authority by the president to proceed with a
mission if the opportunity presented itself. Both Gates and Clinton warned
Panetta of the implications of that authority – namely he was possibly being
made into a scapegoat. Panetta admitted that possibility, but felt the
opportunity to get Bin Laden outweighed that risk. During that meeting,
Hillary Clinton was first to pledge her full support for Panetta, indicating
she would defend him if necessary. Similar support was then followed by
Gates. The following day, and with Panetta’s permission, Clinton met in
private with Bill Daley and urged him to get the president’s full and open
approval of the Panetta plan. Daley agreed such approval would be of great
benefit to the action, and instructed Clinton to delay proceeding until he
had secured that approval. Daley contacted Clinton within hours of their
meeting indicating Jarrett refused to allow the president to give that
approval. Daley then informed Clinton that he too would fully support
Panetta in his actions, even if it meant disclosing the president’s
indecision to the American public should that action fail to produce a
successful conclusion. Clinton took that message back to Panetta and the
CIA director initiated the 48 hour engagement order. At this point, the
President of the United States was not informed of the engagement order – it
did not originate from him, and for several hours after the order had been
given and the special ops forces were preparing for action into Pakistan
from their position in Afghanistan, Daley successfully kept Obama and
Jarrett insulated from that order.
This insulation ended at some point with an abort order that I believe
originated from Valerie Jarrett’s office, and was then followed up by
President Obama. This abort order was later explained as a delay due to
weather conditions, but the actual conditions at that time would have been
acceptable for the mission. A storm system had been in the area earlier,
but was no longer an issue. Check the data yourself to confirm. Jarrett,
having been caught off guard, was now scrambling to determine who had
initiated the plan. She was furious, repeating the acronym “CoC” and saying
it was not being followed. This is where Bill Daley intervened directly.
The particulars of that intervention are not clear to me beyond knowing he
did meet with Jarrett in his office and following that meeting, Valerie
Jarrett was not seen in the West Wing for some time, and apparently no
longer offered up any resistance to the Osama Bin Laden mission. What did
follow from there was one or more brief meetings between Bill Daley, Hillary
Clinton, a representative from Robert Gates’ office, a representative from
Leon Panetta’s office, and a representative from Jim Clapper’s office. I
have to assume that these meetings were in essence, detailing the move to
proceed with the operation against the Osama Bin Laden compound. I have
been told by more than one source that Leon Panetta was directing the
operation with both his own CIA operatives, as well as direct contacts with
military – both entities were reporting to Panetta only at this point, and
not the President of the United States. There was not going to be another
delay as had happened 24 hour earlier. The operation was at this time
effectively unknown to President Barack Obama or Valerie Jarrett and it
remained that way until AFTER it had already been initiated. President
Obama was literally pulled from a golf outing and escorted back to the White
House to be informed of the mission. Upon his arrival there was a briefing
held which included Bill Daley, John Brennan, and a high ranking member of
the military. When Obama emerged from the briefing, he was described as
looking “very confused and uncertain.” The president was then placed in the
situation room where several of the players in this event had already been
watching the operation unfold. Another interesting tidbit regarding this is
that the Vice President was already “up to speed” on the operation. A
source indicated they believe Hillary Clinton had personally made certain
the Vice President was made aware of that day’s events before the president
was. The now famous photo released shows the particulars of that of that
room and its occupants. What that photo does not communicate directly is
that the military personnel present in that room during the operation
unfolding, deferred to either Hillary Clinton or Robert Gates. The
president’s role was minimal, including their acknowledging of his presence
in the room.
At the conclusion of the mission, after it had been repeatedly confirmed a
success, President Obama was once again briefed behind closed doors. The
only ones who went in that room besides the president were Bill Daley. John
Brennan, and a third individual whose identity remains unknown to me. When
leaving this briefing, the president came out of it “.much more confident.
Much more certain of himself.” He was also carrying papers in his hand that
quite possibly was the address to the nation given later that evening on the
Bin Laden mission. The president did not have those papers with him prior
to that briefing. The president then returned to the war room, where by this
time, Leon Panetta had personally arrived and was receiving congratulations
from all who were present.
In my initial communication to you of these events I described what unfolded
as a temporary Coup initiated by high ranking intelligence and military
officials. I stand by that term. These figures worked around the
uncertainty of President Obama and the repeated resistance of Valerie
Jarrett. If they had not been willing to do so, I am certain Osama Bin
Laden would still be alive today. There will be no punishment to those who
acted outside the authority of the president’s office. The president cannot
afford to admit such a fact. What will be most interesting from here is to
now see what becomes of Valerie Jarrett. One source indicated she is
threatening resignation. I find that unlikely given my strong belief she
needs the protection afforded her by the Oval Office and its immense powers
to delay and eventually terminate investigations back in Chicago, but we
shall see. http://socyberty.com/issues/white-house-insider-obama-hesitated-panetta-issued-order-to-kill-osama-bin-laden/4/ 

So, there it is.  I know that a lot of it seems to be conjecture, but it is purportedly from a Whitehouse insider.  Can it be any more or less reliable than any statement that the Whitehouse puts out?  This administration has already lied about SO MANY things already, how can we hold what they call a statement of facts with any more seriousness or credibility than any other news article or media piece?  We can’t.  Once you are shown to be a liar, EVERYTHING else you say is suspect.

So, my point? 

Nothing is as it seems.  Do not accept anything at face value.  Which of the two stories do you believe?  Well, the truth, if you can actually wrap your head around that concept, is probably somewhere in between.

Enjoy your weekend my friends.

My apology readers for the third day in a row of double posts and even bigger one for being responsible for 2 out of the three but this time the call has gone out “Wordpress, we have a problem!”

A very large and well know computer help e-zine migrated its blog and e-mail subscriptions over to WordPress, who is also our host, over the course of the last week and Impish and I have been noticing several different issues with WordPress ever since this started. today’s however is by far the worst and most annoying.

Today’s Last Word is incomplete…radically so. The problem is it shows the entire issue correctly in the program we use to compile the issues, show up correctly in the Preview pane on the blog itself and well as in the edit blog window there and even in the e-mailed version, all as I had intended ti to look and including the missing link Gracie pointed out. It just refuses to show the link and full article for some reason in the working post you people get to see. Weird bizarre and strange in the extreme to say the least. I feel like I am trapped in one of the dragons marshmallow, Gummi bear, Anchovy, Chocolate Chip & Garlic pizza fueled bizarro world nightmares!

I am attempting to repost the Last Word in its entirety using a copy which I stripped all the HTML coding from down to virgin text and reformatted myself in hopes it will show up this time. I ask tolerance and understanding from those on e-mail subscription as they have already seen this but the blog readers have not.

Todays Last Word is courtesy of Graciemj though not by her. It sort of carries on with a point I made in Wednesday’s issue. about the perception of nailing Osama and the credit for it.

Had Bush Been President When Osama Was Killed

By Doug Gamble http://politicalmavens.com/index.php/author/douggamble/

(Doug Gamble is a former Reagan speech writer)

Added to the certainty of death and taxes is the certainty that the mainstream media will give virtually all the credit for the death of Osama bin Laden to President Barack Obama. As it’s shilling for Obama continues right up to the 2012 presidential election, one would eventually be led to believe it was Obama himself who burst into bin Laden’s compound and shot him. But how differently the MSM would have played it if what happened Sunday had happened during the presidency of George W. Bush. The coverage might look something like this:

WASHINGTON—Continuing his crusade against the peaceful religion of Islam, President George W. Bush Sunday ordered a cowardly sneak attack on a Pakistan compound containing al Qaida leader Osama bin Laden.

Consistent with the Bush-Cheney tactic of targeting non-combatants, the raid resulted in the murder of an innocent woman and three men in addition to bin Laden, who understandably had armed himself in an attempt to save his life against overwhelming odds. Reminiscent of Davy Crockett at the Alamo, the al Qaida head courageously went down fighting despite knowing he had no chance to prevail against unfair firepower.

Navy SEALs who burst into the compound opened fire without reading Osama his Miranda rights, a breach typical of Bush’s contempt for the rule of law. In a blunder highlighting the incompetence of the U.S. military, of which Bush is commander-in-chief, a helicopter was destroyed in the raid resulting in a loss of millions of dollars to taxpayers.

Intelligence leading to the raid came from the heinous illegal torture of al Qaida victims held at Guantanamo. The raid itself was an illegal intrusion into a sovereign country, tecnically an act of war against Pakistan.

The thunderous noise of the U.S. helicopters caused great consternation to neighbors of the compound who had been trying to enjoy a good night’s sleep, particularly terrifying women and children.

The million-dollar compound where the murders took place is similar to the mansions where Bush’s rich friends live, having benefited financially from no-bid contracts awarded them by the administration, as well as gleaning riches from various other Bush and Cheney-related shady deals.

As word of bin Laden’s murder spread, the “Ugly American” the world so hates showed its face in the form of disgusting celebrations in front of the White House, in New York’s Times Square and at Ground Zero. The bloodthirsty mobs grew throughout the night, reveling in the death of a fellow human being.

With bin Laden’s skin color being darker than Bush’s, the long-held belief that the president is racist is now confirmed. In an ironic twist, bin Laden’s death occurred on May 1, the same date as the death of Adolph Hitler, a tyrant to whom Bush has often been compared.

Well that’s all I wrote for today folks (can’t very well say “she wrote” because I gave my assistant Friday this Friday off.) By the way look for a picture of my assistant Friday to appear in Monday’s issue. Mean time enjoy your weekend!

Wahoo! The second best time of the week is here? What’s the first best? You’re kidding right? The weekend of course! Forty Eight glorious hours for free time out of which your spouse will attempt to garnish Twenty Four for indentured slavery at the Honey-do Ranch.

And the “Crazy Lady of the Day” Award Goes To… Graciemj!

Oh! WAIT! Damn Impish and the illegible crayon scribble he alleges is handwriting! The CREDIT for this “Crazy Lady of the Day send GOES TO Graciemj! You will NOT believe how insane this woman in the video is! My only plausible explanation so far centers around her being French.

http://www.wimp.com/wildcheetahs/

Seems an awful lot of serious and weighty subjects have been creeping into Last Words, PSAs and Leprechaun’s Tech Talks as of late. As we said with our Wednesday Extra we feel a certain responsibility to bring these important things to your attention. Hopefully the laughs and humor will continue to outweigh them until we no long find the need to have to warn you of undisclosed privacy issue dangers lurking  behind every corporate logo and a virus in every e-mail or URL..

AP: Pa. lawsuit: Rental firm spies on users

By JOE MANDAK Associated Press © 2011 The Associated Press May 3, 2011, 2:01PM

PITTSBURGH — A major furniture rental chain has software on its computers that lets it track the keystrokes, screenshots and even webcam images of customers while they use the devices at home, according to a lawsuit filed Tuesday.

The lawsuit was filed on behalf of a Wyoming couple who said they learned about the PC Rental Agent “device and/or software” inside the computer they rented last year when an Aaron’s Inc. store manager in Casper came to their home on Dec. 22.

PC Rental Agent includes components soldered into the computer’s motherboard or otherwise physically attached to the PC’s electronics, the lawsuit said. It therefore cannot be uninstalled and can only be deactivated using a wand, the suit said.

The Byrds want the court to declare their case a class-action, and are seeking unspecified damages and attorneys’ fees under the Electronic Communications Privacy Act and the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act. The privacy act allows for a penalty of $10,000 or $100 per day per violation, plus punitive damages and other costs, the lawsuit said.

(edited to reflect key points for brevity by me read full story here: http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/ap/top/all/7548420.html)

This is the second or third time a story such as this has made national news. The last one as I recall involved school issued lap tops and was software only. Prior to that several years ago there was a virus going about that would allow remote activation of the camera as well as possibly some other functions.

I have three points to make;

• If you have a computer either Desk Top or Lap top which you have rented or purchased or are currently renting via Aarons, you need to take it to a computer shop with a copy of the article and ask them to confirm your suspicions with regard to the PC Rental Agent device. If one is found you need to contact a lawyer immediately and show him the article as well.
• Obtain and use both Anti-Virus and Anti Malware software, preferably ones that provide real time protection and more importantly USE THEM RELIGIOUSLY.
• If you do not regularly use your camera on your lap top (most of us do not) the safest thing you can do is cover it over. This can be accomplished as simple as putting two of those colored dots about the size of a nickel one on top of the other and then over the camera. If you use it occasionally you may want to make a blinder out of scotch tape and a bit of opaque paper that you can easily remove. Alternately you may wish to use black electrical tape so as to match the color of your case. If you use a desk top with a stand alone camera place something in front of it, turn it towards the wall or cover it completely with something. If you have easy access to the USB ports unplug it totally.

Disregard this advice at your own peril but if an embarrassing photo of you somehow winds up on the web, we find it and decide to use it, don’t whine at us!

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said, “Nevada needs to be known as the first place for innovation and investment, not as the last place where prostitution is still legal.”

The definition of irony is a politician telling a prostitute to stop being such a whore. (Reeder & Ainsworth)

Last Friday we answered a couple of readers question regarding how to tell Impish and I apart (the really sad thing is I caught Impish taking notes from my explanation!).

This weeks questions center around our offices. Now obviously DragonLaffs World Wide Headquarters is a figment of our shared psychotic disorder, turbo charged by dual over active imaginations and fueled by excessive amounts of caffeine. But the questions were regarding our real personal office space from which we access said shared delusion while actually managing to publish Dragon or Leprechaun Laffs daily.

Did those offices bear any resemblance to our delusional.…I MEAN VIRTUAL ones? Did they reflect our on-line personas? For instance was mine insanely high tech and Impish extremely opulent?

I suppose a tour of our respective offices is in order.

       

Here’s Impish’s at home and at work ( note the behind seat storage)

   

His at home private bath and his at work one (explains them $600 toilet seats!)

Now for mine….this is my at home office:

and now my version of the executive wash room (note the dual his and hers work stations as I have to share this with Molly):

So as you can clearly see our real offices do reflect out on screen personas! Well at least in Impish’s case in some respects

If I get anymore Ask the  Dragon or Ask the Leprechaun questions, I’ll make this a regular Friday feature. (Hint! Hint!)

We could never hope to make this kind of stupidity up in a million years. See imagination has its limits while stupidity doesn’t!

News Headlines

Bin Laden Feared Lost at Sea

Playboy Airbrushing Department Offers to Make Bin Laden Death Photos Presentable

CIA Warns Americans That Bin Laden’s Death May Lead to New
Jeff Dunham Material

Report: Bin Laden Body Dumped in Same Spot Where Clinton Dumped Vince Foster Body

Loyal Reader Lynn is back from vacation and offers us up this humorous spoof.

Bitches ’til the End !

Man, I’ll tell ya, women can be cold until the end!

The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, ‘I’ve got some bad news.. You have cancer, and you’d best put your affairs in order.’

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.

‘Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don’t go so well. In this case, things aren’t well. I have cancer. So, let’s head to the club and have a martini.’

After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more martinis.

They were eventually approached by some of the woman’s old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating. The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end, ‘I’ve been diagnosed with AIDS.’

The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty retreat.

After the friends left, the woman’s daughter leaned over and whispered, ‘Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that?’

‘Because I don’t want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I’m gone.’

And THAT, my friends, is what is called, ‘Putting Your Affairs In Order.’

Todays Last Word is courtesy of Graciemj though not by her. It sort of carries on with a point I made in Wednesday’s issue. about the perception of nailing Osama and the credit for it.

Had Bush Been President When Osama Was Killed

By Doug Gamble http://politicalmavens.com/index.php/author/douggamble/

(Doug Gamble is a former Reagan speech writer)

Added to the certainty of death and taxes is the certainty that the mainstream media will give virtually all the credit for the death of Osama bin Laden to President Barack Obama. As it’s shilling for Obama continues right up to the 2012 presidential election, one would eventually be led to believe it was Obama himself who burst into bin Laden’s compound and shot him. But how differently the MSM would have played it if what happened Sunday had happened during the presidency of George W. Bush. The coverage might look something like this:

WASHINGTON—Continuing his crusade against the peaceful religion of Islam, President George W. Bush Sunday ordered a cowardly sneak attack on a Pakistan compound containing al Qaida leader Osama bin Laden.

Consistent with the Bush-Cheney tactic of targeting non-combatants, the raid resulted in the murder of an innocent woman and three men in addition to bin Laden, who understandably had armed himself in an attempt to save his life against overwhelming odds. Reminiscent of Davy Crockett at the Alamo, the al Qaida head courageously went down fighting despite knowing he had no chance to prevail against unfair firepower.

Navy SEALs who burst into the compound opened fire without reading Osama his Miranda rights, a breach typical of Bush’s contempt for the rule of law. In a blunder highlighting the incompetence of the U.S. military, of which Bush is commander-in-chief, a helicopter was destroyed in the raid resulting in a loss of millions of dollars to taxpayers.

Intelligence leading to the raid came from the heinous illegal torture of al Qaida victims held at Guantanamo. The raid itself was an illegal intrusion into a sovereign country, tecnically an act of war against Pakistan.

The thunderous noise of the U.S. helicopters caused great consternation to neighbors of the compound who had been trying to enjoy a good night’s sleep, particularly terrifying women and children.

The million-dollar compound where the murders took place is similar to the mansions where Bush’s rich friends live, having benefited financially from no-bid contracts awarded them by the administration, as well as gleaning riches from various other Bush and Cheney-related shady deals.

As word of bin Laden’s murder spread, the “Ugly American” the world so hates showed its face in the form of disgusting celebrations in front of the White House, in New York’s Times Square and at Ground Zero. The bloodthirsty mobs grew throughout the night, reveling in the death of a fellow human being.

With bin Laden’s skin color being darker than Bush’s, the long-held belief that the president is racist is now confirmed. In an ironic twist, bin Laden’s death occurred on May 1, the same date as the death of Adolph Hitler, a tyrant to whom Bush has often been compared.

Well that’s all I wrote for today folks (can’t very well say “she wrote” because I gave my assistant Friday this Friday off.) By the way look for a picture of my assistant Friday to appear in Monday’s issue. Mean time enjoy your weekend!

Just need to take care of a little bit of business.  Dragons don’t get their feelings hurt, what happens is, they get really pissed off.  Got this comment to my posting this morning:

Impish
Come on ID you tell us how important breast cancer is and we can help and then you omit the link. WTF. George

George,
How dare you insinuate that breast cancer is NOT important to me!  It is important enough, that I put a permanent link up on the blog because YOU said that it was only in every other issue!  Are you not paying attention to the response to your own question?  Is it too much effort to go to the website to click on the link?
I click everyday from home and then click every day from work and from my cell phone.  I wear a pink ribbon on my work hat and am MORE than happy to defend the snickers I get when someone questions me on it.
Yeah George, Breast Cancer Awareness IS important to me.

Folks, if you aren’t reading the ezine on the website and are just reading it in your email, you are missing out on a good part of the experience.  Not ALL the links show up in the email version.  Not all the videos, the gifs or even all the cartoons.  The email message is just to let you know that something posted or for you to get a quick message, as in Lethal’s Public Service Announcement yesterday or this message today.

Suit yourself, but if you are a real fan, you’ll read the blog on line.

Cheers!

Impish

 

Good Morning Campers!
Per usual, I’m right up against the last minute here, finishing up today’s issue of, the Greatest E-zine on the internet.  I had a Last Word all prepared about how the media is reporting the B.S. of the upcoming election and debates and what not, and NOT reporting any real information.  But then, I read this article about the administration not releasing a picture of Bin Laden’s dead body.  It really started me thinking about what is the right or wrong answer to that question and hopefully, I explored both sides of that question a little bit in today’s Last Word.
Thank you to all the junior alchemists out there who sent me in curative potions for the Dragon’s Bane poison that I suffered over the last couple of days due to Lethal being pissy about sharing his coffee.  I have since made a determination that NO employee will be allowed to come to the executive suite to get coffee.  I know that’s sad, and it makes it less of a “family” atmosphere, but I can’t afford to have any more poisons introduced into my system, so we’ll have to do things the way our co-partner has demanded.
To make up for this, at the company’s expense, I have built and opened a coffee lounge on the 32nd level.  It has many amenities that I think all the employees will find quite satisfying.  I especially like it because, if you remember, level 32, on the east side, opens out onto that really cool ledge over dragon’s teeth gorge, I’ve made that into a coffee/cigar lounge (so the second hand smoke won’t bother any of the non-cigar people).  Anyway, be sure to go down to that level, look around and enjoy.  The coffee is on me.

Now….

I know this sets a bad precedent, but let’s start with a handful of groaners from our pal Zack….

“I heard about a college girl who went to a fraternity beer party, got drunk, spent the night with one of the frat boys and soon discovered she was pregnant.

“After her baby was born, she decided to write a book about her experience.

She chose to call: “From Beer to Maternity”

————————————————————

There was a family, Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their baby. Who was the biggest?

The baby. He was a little Bigger.

————————————————————

Q: What do you call a penguin in the Sahara Desert?

A: Lost.

Q: What did the 0 say to the 8?

A: Nice belt

A wife asks her husband, a software engineer; “Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6!”
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.
The wife asks him, “Why the hell did you buy 6 cartons of milk?”
He replied, “They had eggs.“

Short, funny essay…

The expert just left the office after telling me to check in the morning to see if they were still there or gone with the hope being they’d vanish just like plans for a sensible economic recovery.

He couldn’t find ‘em but said it’s quite possible they were hanging around in some dark corner he couldn’t see into. The “they” I refer to is not a collection of lawyers and politicians hiding in the dark waiting to swoop out on unsuspecting citizens while screaming “TAX HIKES!” and “FOUR MORE YEARS!”

Great. Now I have scared myself so badly I won’t sleep at all tonight. Sorry if I scared you, I’m just trying to set the stage here for the real problem.

Anyway, we had bats in the building and not the kind the Atlanta Braves use to lose critical games against every other team in the league. I mean the kind of bats with wings and not the kind chased by a guy with a bad makeup job (the Joker) although I suppose you could get a bad makeup job and chase bats. Far be it from me to judge how you spend your leisure time as long as you leave my spandex neon lederhosen alone.

For a while we have suspected the building had bats. Why did we suspect this, you ask? Finding a dead bat every so often inside the building either meant we had bats in the building or … well there is no or. We had bats in the building. Dead bats, but bats. As dead bats generally don’t move around on their own, I assumed the bat was alive at some point and died in the office. Unless they were zombie bats which is even more scary than Sarah Palin becoming a liberal.

Then, we absolutely verified bats in the building. We did this by allowing a large brown bat to fly around the front office, land on Robin’s head (no, I am not kidding and I do not know if she wears colored tights and jumps from building to building in her off time), swoop around menacingly and hover in a doorway eyeing me like a T-rex watching a truckload of sirloin steaks. Obviously the bat was more than insane because I outweighed the bat several hundred to one and if it attacked me there is no doubt about the outcome. I’d scream like a girl,
panic and run into a wall, knock myself out, fall on the bat, killing it, be arrested for killing a federal protected species and then get sued for harassment by some organization claiming to represent the civil rights of office walls.

So we called a bat removal expert . The expert did not wear a cape or a hat with pointy ears, at least when I was watching. Maybe he put that on later. He verified the presence of bats through a complex scientific
process involving immense amounts of detective work, a detailed examination of the building and pointing to a pile of bat poop on the floor.

At this point everyone in the office was extremely relieved. Bat poop is considered a toxic substance, which meant everyone is permanently excused from sweeping the floor at least until it has been decontaminated, torn up and replaced with a non bat poop-contaminated surface and we relocate to another building on the bat-free side of town.

The removal expert told us how he’d get rid of the bats. It is very simple. He’d simply fill holes in the building and put screens over larger openings after dark. Since the bats could not get back in come morning, they’d find somewhere else to live.

STOP THE PRESSES!  I know how to solve Washington DC. We just get a giant can of spray foam, plug the holes and stretch fence across the larger holes and SUCCESS! If the politicians can’t get back in, they’ll
find somewhere else to live. I understand Japan has some prime real estate available right now.

What I want to know is, how many do you have to have right to qualify…

You are a Nerd If…

– If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires
– If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal
– If you have more toys than your kids
– If you need a checklist to turn on the TV
– If you have introduced your kids by the wrong name
– If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work
– If your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight
– If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don’t work and you rush up to the front to fix it
– If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary
– If you have memorized the program scheduled for the Discovery channel and have seen most of the shows already

 

 

I was sure this was Lethal until I read it all the way through..

A woman in Texas who couldn’t afford new curtains, decided to dye her old ones blue.  She got out a vat, mixed some brilliant blue dye, and set to work. 
       While the woman was hanging her curtains on the line, her little white lamb fell into the vat.  He was fished out, unhurt, and went scurrying off to dry in the sun.  A passing motorist observed the bright blue lamb, thought he’d discovered a new species, and came up offering twice the market price.  The woman decided she had a pretty good thing.
       Next day she dyed a second lamb.  It, too, sold almost immediately at a fancy price.  From this start she developed quite a business — buying, dyeing and selling lambs.  She turned out to be the biggest lamb dyer in Texas.

Who do you give a gift like this to?  Your female boss?  Your MALE boss?  I can’t imagine a single person I could give this to and have it work out.  It sure is funny though.

I found these really neat coupons that are good for one gallon of gas at ANY gas station.  Yup.  Can you believe it, any gas station.  Now, to be honest, I’ve seen these around before, but never thought to take advantage of them, I suppose I never realized their actual worth.
You probably have one or two of these coupons lying around somewhere and don’t even know it!  I’d hate to see you lose the opportunity to use them, so before it becomes too late, find and redeem these special coupons good for one gallon of gas at practically ANY gas station in the country.  But hurry.  They are being devalued every day:

 

 

You know the honeymoon is over
when the comedians start. 

The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree…and think 25 to life would be appropriate.
–Jay Leno

America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
–Jay Leno

Q: Have you heard about McDonald’s’ new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
–Conan O’Brien

Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser. 
–Jay Leno

Q: What’s the difference between Obama’s cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers, and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners.
–David Letterman

Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America! 
–Jimmy Fallon

Q: What was the most positive result of the “Cash for Clunkers” program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road. 

–David Letterman

One of my favorite lists of all time.  We here a Dragon Laffs aspire to be this good, but it is doubtful we ever will be.  These guys are The BEST!

When Insults Had Class…….
And don’t you wish you had thought of some of these at the right moment.

The exchange between Churchill and Lady Astor: She said, “If you were my husband, I’d give you poison,” and he said, “If you were my wife,  I’d take it.”

Gladstone, a member of Parliament, to Benjamin Disraeli: “Sir, you  will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.” “That  depends, sir,” said Disraeli, “On whether I embrace your policies or  your mistress.”

“He had delusions of adequacy.” – Walter Kerr

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” –  Winston Churchill

“A modest little person, with much to be modest about.” – Winston  Churchill

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” – Clarence Darrow

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to  the dictionary.” – William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?” – Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” – Moses Hadas

“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I  know.” – Abraham Lincoln

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”  -Mark Twain

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” – Oscar Wilde

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring  a friend…. if you have one.” – George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.” -Winston Churchill, in response.

“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” – Stephen Bishop

He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” – John Bright

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing  trivial.” – Irvin S. Cobb

“He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.”  – Samuel Johnson

“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” – Paul Keating

“There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.” -Jack E. Leonard

“He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.” – Robert Redford

“They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.” – Thomas Brackett Reed

“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.”  – Charles, Count Talleyrand

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” – Forrest Tucker

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” – Mark Twain

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. – Mae West

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” -Oscar Wilde

“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support  rather than illumination.” – Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” – Billy Wilder

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” –  Groucho Marx

I had no idea this was going on.  Thanks to Jeannie for sending me the video and with a little bit of effort (truly a tiny bit of effort) I found out that, although the video is from New South Wales, the product is currently used here in the United States.  Now, if the European Union is trying to ban this, you know, the guys that allow new drugs to hit the market only after an extensive 48 hour testing period, if they are trying to ban it, that scares the hell out of me for what the heck are we eating here?  Watch and Learn:

Meat Glue

The industry-wide secret butchers don’t want you to know about: The special product called Meat Glue sticking your steak together.

http://au.todaytonight.yahoo.com/article/8989315/consumer/meat-glue

So, when you are done with the video, if you still want a bit more info, here’s a nice link to follow: http://www.gobeyondorganic.com/Weekly-News-Tips/meat-glue.html 

Okay, our dear camper Jeannie sent us this quiz as well.  She says that she bees smart cause she got 28 out of 30.  I bees not as smart, but still passed at 25 out of 30.  How’d you do?

Independence Day Quiz

The 4th of July is the time when we celebrate our nation– a time to reflect on the freedoms which we believe are not granted by our government, but are self-evident rights for all humankind.  Time for the Independence Day Quiz which asks,  “How much do you really know?”  Every day thousands leave their homelands to settle here in the land of the free.  Before they become citizens they are required to take a citizenship test and score 80%.  Could you pass this test if you took it today?   Our quiz is made up of 20 questions which were once used on the actual citizenship test.  We’ve added a few curveballs– The last ten questions may be a bit harder, but a score of around 24 out of 30 is considered a passing grade.  http://games.toast.net/independence/

 

 

GOD BLESS OUR TROOPS – GOD BLESS EVERY SOLDIER.

 

 

Combat Coffee

A how to instructional video on how Canadian troops make coffee in Afghanistan under combat conditions.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRIriU1ApVc&feature=player_embedded#at=174

Now I have to poke my eyes out with hot skewers!  Dang!  Washing my eyes out with bleach just won’t work.

This is amazing!

After Pei Wei Illegals Raided by Arpaio, Americans Line Up For Jobs 

http://www.diggersrealm.com:80/mt/archives/003513.html

Now I want the politicians to tell me, again, how Americans won’t do the jobs illegals do…!

 

What Those Acronyms Really Mean

ISDN = It Still Does Nothing

APPLE = Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity

IBM = I Blame Microsoft

DEC = Do Expect Cuts

CA = Constant Acquisitions

CD-ROM = Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months

OS/2 = Obsolete Soon, Too.

SCSI = System Can’t See It

DOS = Defunct Operating System

BASIC = Bill’s Attempt to Seize Industry Control

WWW = World Wide Wait

MACINTOSH = Most Applications Crash; If Not, The OS Hangs

WARNING: The following rant is not politically correct, not socially gracious nor is it humanitarianly harmonious and designed to fit nicely in ANYONE’s pocket.  Continue at your own risk. 

I demand the release of pictures of the death of Osama Bin Laden.
No, I’m not a conspiracy theorist.
Neither do I disbelieve that the animal is dead.
I demand to see the pictures of the bastard’s demise for a simple reason.
Closure.
If we had to endure pictures of people jumping to their deaths from a burning and collapsing World Trade Center; people forced to take their own lives rather than burn to death; then I want to see that piece of slime’s shattered face splashed all over the news, TV, computer screens, newspapers and wherever else we can find to post it. 
The Administration says no. 
White House Press Secretary Jay Carney said Wednesday that the president consulted his national security team and ultimately decided it would be too risky to release any images of the body. Obama also determined the administration already had proved bin Laden is dead, he said.
So, what are we? Still letting this S.O.B. control and scare us?  What are we afraid of?
Rep. Mike Rogers, R-Mich., chairman of the intelligence committee, earlier put out a statement opposing the release. He told Fox News he’s using a simple test — if the release of the photo would make a village elder in Afghanistan less cooperative and less likely to snitch to U.S. troops about potential attacks, then he’s against it.
Yeah……….okay……..so that’s a valid point.  BUT STILL…..
But Sen. Lindsey Graham, R-S.C., said in a statement Wednesday afternoon that not releasing any images is a “mistake.”
“I know bin Laden is dead. But the best way to protect and defend our interests overseas is to prove that fact to the rest of the world,” he said. “I’m afraid the decision made today by President Obama will unnecessarily prolong this debate.”
I agree.  I believe the sooner we get this out, over and decided, the sooner we can get closure and move on to other things… 
Sen. Kelly Ayotte, R-N.H., who has seen a photo of a dead bin Laden, disputed the notion the image is too gruesome for the public to see.
“Nobody wants to see a disturbing photograph, but for closure purposes, it should be released,” she told Fox News. “We don’t want to see conspiracy theories develop, particularly among the terrorists.”
I say bullshit to the too gruesome.  Pictures of everybody else’s dead body have already been leaked, along with pieces of the crashed helicopter, lots of blood, dead bodies and really, come on, can it be any worse than the crap that is being put out by Hollywood and called “art”?
Ayotte has since said she is not sure the photo was authentic but still believes it should be released..
Oh, now THAT was the perfect friggin’ thing to say!  “We’re worried about conspiracy theories” so let’s just start it off by saying SENATOR OF THE UNITED STATES BELIEVES PHOTO OF BIN LADEN’S DEATH A FAKE! Is she grabbing for headlines?  Trying to start trouble? or just an ordinary idiot?  You can’t possibly make me believe that Americans elected somebody so obviously stupid!  These people are supposed to be representative of OUR COUNTRY.  I don’t give a rat’s-ass WHAT you believe you have to understand that everything you say is going to be used as a sound bite….or maybe … that was the idea.  Nice way to get your name in the paper?  Jack-wad!
Sen. Saxby Chambliss, R-Ga., told Fox News that regardless of whether somebody in the administration makes an official decision to release an image, the image will likely get out at some point, potentially by leak.
“It’s likely to happen at some point in time anyway,” he told Fox News.
(Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2011/05/04/concerns-mount-potential-backlash-ubl-photo-release/#ixzz1LTWGd1g7)

Gee, if it’s going to happen sometime….what are the odds it’s released at the right time for the administration?  Right around the election?  Accidently, of course….
Nah!  They wouldn’t do that on purpose.
Would they?

 

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