Your full of Patriotic Pride Leprechaun here once again folks!

While I was waiting for the smoker to do its magic on a couple racks of ribs and staving off excessive drooling due to the anticipation of placing them alongside of heaping helpings of potato salad and Coles slaw with a glass of sweet tea I thought I would do a quick Extra Edition since we haven’t done one in a long time.

In trying to keep our Independence Day issue down of a single day’s blog I had to leave out some things I wanted to include in the interest of space. Also predictably some very good things arrived in my Inbox or were called to my attention about five minutes after I posted the issue. Here is a collection of them for you. Mean time I’m starving anyone got a spare brat or burger? These ribs are driving half my building nuts with there smell!

 

EDITORIAL: Celebrating Independence Day

Fireworks, barbeques, family reunions, vacations, parades, concerts, baseball games and political speeches all have become part of the Independence Day landscape.
Some would argue that our celebrations dilute the original meaning of the day.
We would argue quite the contrary.
The celebrations actually serve as tangible reminders of the intestinal fortitude our forefathers had to grab their freedom from the clutches of the Kingdom of Great Britain. That independence came through bloodshed, tears, and the determination to no longer be handcuffed by rulers in a country thousands of miles away.
Interestingly enough, July 4th – the day we celebrate Independence Day – isn’t the true day the original 13 colonies broke the hold of Great Britain. That actually came on July 2nd with a resolution of independence approved by the Second Continental Congress and marked the day of legal separation of the new country from the mother land.
Following the resolution, Thomas Jefferson and four others turned to completing the draft of the Declaration of Independence.
Unlike today’s congressional debates that last for days for no clear reason other than for politicians to hear themselves pontificate, the debate over the Declaration of Independence stayed on point and brief. Just two days after the resolution passed, the declaration itself was approved.
On July 3rd, John Adams penned this to his wife, Abigail: “The second day of July, 1776, will be the most memorable epoch in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forever more.”
Adams saw the significance of July 2, 1776, for the history-changing day that it was. For without the resolution, there would have been no declaration.
But Adams would likely give Americans a break as long as we remember and celebrate not only our independence, but also remember the sacrifices of those who got this country to a point of independence – and those who keep us free and independent today.

National Anthem 2.0 Patriotic Song F/ Guests from Trans-Siberian Orchestra

July 4th trivia – How much do you know?

Here’s a little test of your independence-related knowledge. Enjoy! (Answers at end.)
1. Which three presidents died on July 4?
2. Which president laid the cornerstone for the Washington Monument on July 4, 1850?
3. What was the title of the 1969 Broadway musical, written by Sherman Edwards and Peter Stone, that told the story of the founding of the United States?
4. What city in the American South fell to Ulysses S. Grant and Union forces on July 4, 1863, after a short siege?
5. What twin advice columnists were born on July 4, 1918?
6. In one of the wildest baseball games of all time, the New York Mets beat the Atlanta Braves, 16-13, in how many innings on July 4 (and 5), 1985?
7. When was the Stars and Stripes authorized by Congress as the national flag?
8. The flag has 13 stripes. How many of them are red?
9. Francis Scott Key wrote the words to the Star-Spangled Banner after witnessing what?
10. Where and when was the first 50-star flag flown?
11. On the first U.S. flag, why were the stars displayed in a circle?
12. True or false: When the Pledge of Allegiance was published in 1892, the words “Under God” were not included.
13. Which president served the shortest term?
14. Which president, to show his disdain for ceremony, would greet ambassadors in his pajamas?
15. Which president was the first to throw out the season-opening pitch for professional baseball?

Answers below.

 

 

Answers

1. Thomas Jefferson and John Adams (1826) and James Monroe (1831)
2. Zachary Taylor. He became ill with cholera that night and died five days later.
3. 1776
4. Vicksburg, Miss. It came a day after the Union victory at Gettysburg, marking a turning point in the Civil War
5. Ann Landers and Abigail Van Buren (real names: Esther “Eppie” Lederer and Pauline Phillips)
6. 19 innings. The game ended at 3:55 a.m., and the Braves then fired off their Independence Day fireworks, leading many local residents to believe the city was under attack.
7. June 14, 1777. This date is observed as Flag Day.
8. Seven.
9. The bombardment of Fort McHenry
10. Philadelphia, 1960
11. So no one state would be above another.
12. True. The phrase was added in 1954.
13. William Henry Harrison, who died of pneumonia shortly after his inauguration. He served only 32 days, from March 4 to April 4, 1841.
14. Thomas Jefferson
15. William Howard Taft, on April 14, 1910, at Griffith Stadium in Washington, D.C.

Troops marked Independence Day at Camp Leatherneck in Afghanistan with a traditional “Morning Colors” ceremony. (July 4, 2011)

 

What happened to the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence?

 

Have you ever wondered what happened to the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence? Here from the annals of Snopes is the TRUE account of the cost personal costs paid by some of those signers of the Declaration of Independence:

In the waning years of their lengthy lives, former presidents (and Founding Fathers) John Adams and Thomas Jefferson reconciled the political differences that had separated them for many years and carried on a voluminous correspondence. One of the purposes behind their exchange of letters was to set the record straight regarding the events of the American Revolution, for as author Joseph J. Ellis noted, they (particularly Adams, whom history would not treat nearly as kindly as Jefferson) were keenly aware of the “distinction between history as experienced and history as remembered”:

Adams realized that the act of transforming the American Revolution into history placed a premium on selecting events and heroes that fit neatly into a dramatic formula, thereby distorting the more tangled and incoherent experience that participants actually making the history felt at the time. Jefferson’s drafting of the Declaration of Independence was a perfect example of such dramatic distortions. The Revolution in this romantic rendering became one magical moment of inspiration, leading inexorably to the foregone conclusion of American independence.

Evidently Adams was right: So great is our need for simplified, dramatic events and heroes that even the real-life biographies of the fifty-six men who risked their lives to publicly declare American independence are no longer compelling enough. Through multiple versions of pieces like the one quoted above, their lives have been repeatedly embellished with layers of fanciful fiction to make for a better story. As we often do, we’ll try here to strip away those accumulated layers of fiction and get down to whatever kernel of truth may lie underneath:

Five signers were captured by the British as traitors and tortured before they died.

It is true that five signers of the Declaration of Independence were captured by the British during the course of the Revolutionary War. However, none of them died while a prisoner, and four of them were taken into custody not because they were considered “traitors” due to their status as signatories to that document, but because they were captured as prisoners of war while actively engaged in military operations against the British: George Walton was captured after being wounded while commanding militia at the Battle of Savannah in December 1778, and Thomas Heyward, Jr., Arthur Middleton, and Edward Rutledge (three of the four Declaration of Independence signers from South Carolina) were taken prisoner at the Siege of Charleston in May in 1780. Although they endured the ill treatment typically afforded to prisoners of war during their captivity (prison conditions were quite deplorable at the time), they were not tortured, nor is there evidence that they were treated more harshly than other wartime prisoners who were not also signatories to the Declaration. Moreover, all four men were

Richard Stockton of New Jersey was the only signer taken prisoner specifically because of his status as a signatory to the Declaration, “dragged from his bed by night” by local Tories after he had evacuated his family from New Jersey, and imprisoned in New York City’s infamous Provost Jail like a common criminal. However, Stockton was also the only one of the fifty-six signers who violated the pledge to support the Declaration of Independence and each other with “our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor,” securing a pardon and his release from imprisonment by recanting his signature on the Declaration and signing an oath swearing his allegiance to George III.

Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned.

It is true that a number of signers saw their homes and property occupied, ransacked, looted, and vandalized by the British (and even in some cases by the Americans). However, as we discuss in more detail below, this activity was a common (if unfortunate) part of warfare. Signers’ homes were not specifically targeted for destruction – like many other Americans, their property was subject to seizure when it fell along the path of a war being waged on the North American continent.

Two lost their sons serving in the Revolutionary Army, another had two sons captured.

Abraham Clark of New Jersey saw two of his sons captured by the British and incarcerated on the prison ship Jersey. John Witherspoon, also of New Jersey, saw his eldest son, James, killed in the Battle of Germantown in October 1777. If there was a second signer of the Declaration whose son was killed while serving in the Continental Army, we have yet to find him.

Nine of the 56 fought and died from wounds or hardships of the Revolutionary War.

This statement is quite misleading as phrased. Nine signers died during the course of the Revolutionary War, but none of them died from wounds or hardships inflicted on them by the British. (Indeed, several of the nine didn’t even take part in the war.) Only one signer, Button Gwinnett of Georgia, died from wounds, and those were received not at the hands of the British, but of a fellow officer with whom he duelled in May 1777.

Carter Braxton of Virginia, a wealthy planter and trader, saw his ships swept from the seas by the British Navy. He sold his home and properties to pay his debts, and died in rags.

Before the American Revolution, Carter Braxton was possessed of a considerable fortune through inheritance and favorable marriages. While still in his teens he inherited the family estate, which included a flourishing Virginia tobacco plantation, upon the death of his father. He married a wealthy heiress who died when he was just 21, and within a few years he had remarried, this time to the daughter of the Receiver of Customs in Virginia for the King. As a delegate representing Virginia in the Continental Congress in 1776, he was one of the minority of delegates reluctant to support an American declaration of independence, a move which he viewed at the time as too dangerous:

[Independence] is in truth a delusive Bait which men inconsiderably catch at, without knowing the hook to which it is affixed …America is too defenceless a State for the declaration, having no alliance with a naval Power nor as yet any Fleet of consequence of her own to protect that trade which is so essential to the prosecution of the War, without which I know we cannot go on much longer.

Braxton invested his wealth in commercial enterprises, particularly shipping, and he endured severe financial reversals during the Revolutionary War when many of the ships in which he held interest were either appropriated by the British government (because they were British-flagged) or were sunk or captured by the British. He was not personally targeted for ruin because he had signed the Declaration of Independence, however; he suffered grievous financial losses because most of his wealth was tied up in shipping, “that trade which is so essential to the prosecution of the War” and which was therefore a prime military target for the British. Even if he hadn’t signed the Declaration of Independence, Braxton’s ships would have been casualties of the war just the same.

Although Braxton did lose property during the war and had to sell off assets (primarily landholdings) to cover the debts incurred by the loss of his ships, he recouped much of that money after the war but subsequently lost it again through his own ill-advised business dealings. His fortune was considerably diminished in his later years, but he did not by any stretch of the imagination “die in rags.”

Thomas McKeam was so hounded by the British that he was forced to move his family almost constantly. He served in the Congress without pay, and his family was kept in hiding. His possessions were taken from him, and poverty was his reward.

As one mckean biography describes Thomas McKean (not “McKeam”):

Thomas McKean might just represent an ideal study of how far political engagement can be carried by one man. One can scarcely believe the number of concurrent offices and duties this man performed during the course of his long career. He served three states and many more cities and county governments, often performing duties in two or more jurisdictions, even while engaged in federal office.

Among his many offices, McKean was a delegate to the Continental Congress (of which he later served as president), President of Delaware, Chief Justice of Pennsylvania, and Governor of Pennsylvania. The above-quoted statement regarding his being “hounded” by the British during the Revolutionary War is probably based upon a letter he wrote to his friend John Adams in 1777, in which he described how he had been “hunted like a fox by the enemy, compelled to remove my family five times in three months, and at last fixed them in a little log-house on the banks of the Susquehanna, but they were soon obliged to move again on account of the incursions of the Indians.”

However, it is problematic to assert that McKean’s treatment was due to his being a signer of the Declaration of Independence. (His name does not appear on printed copies of that document authenticated in January 1777, so it is likely he did not affix his name to it until later.) If he was targeted by the British, it was quite possibly because he also served in a military capacity as a volunteer leader of militia. In any case, McKean did not end up in “poverty,” as the estate he left behind when he died in 1817 was described as consisting of “stocks, bonds, and huge land tracts in Pennsylvania.”

Vandals or soldiers looted the properties of Dillery, Hall, Clymer, Walton, Gwinnett, Heyward, Ruttledge, and Middleton.

First of all, this passage has a couple of misspellings: the signers referred to are William Ellery (not “Dillery”) and Edward Rutledge (not “Ruttledge”). Secondly, this sentence is misleading in that it implies a motive that was most likely not present (i.e., these men’s homes were looted because they had been signers of the Declaration of Independence).

The need to forage for supplies in enemy territory has long been a part of warfare, and so it was far from uncommon for British soldiers in the field to appropriate such material from private residences during the American Revolution. (Not only were homes used as sources of food, livestock, and other necessary supplies, but larger houses were also taken over and used to quarter soldiers or to serve as headquarters for officers.) In some cases, even American forces took advantage of the local citizenry to provision themselves. Given that many more prominent American revolutionaries who were also signers of the Declaration of Independence (e.g., Samuel Adams, John Hancock, Benjamin Franklin, James Wilson, Benjamin Rush, Robert Morris) had homes in areas that were occupied by the British during the war, yet those homes were not looted or vandalized, it’s hard to make the case that the men named above were specifically targeted for vengeance by the British rather than unfortunate victims whose property fell in the path of an armed conflict being waged on American soil.

It’s also a common misconception that the signing of the Declaration of Independence was the event that triggered the Revolutionary War, so the signers were directly responsible for whatever misfortunes befell them (and their fellow Americans) as a result of that war. The war actually began more than a year before the signing of the Declaration of Independence- revolutionary events involving armed conflict, such as the battles of Lexington and Concord, the seizure of Fort Ticonderoga by Ethan Allen and his “Green Mountain Boys,” the Battle of Bunker Hill, and the capture of Montreal by General Richard Montgomery, all took place in 1775.

At the battle of Yorktown, Thomas Nelson, Jr., noted that the British General Cornwallis had taken over the Nelson home for his headquarters. He quietly urged General George Washington to open fire. The home was destroyed, and Nelson died bankrupt.

The tale about Thomas Nelson’s urging or suggesting the bombardment of his own house is one of several Revolutionary War legends whose truth may never be known. Several versions of this story exist, one of which (as referenced above) holds that Nelson encouraged George Washington to shell his Yorktown home after British Major General Charles Cornwallis had taken it over to use as his headquarters in 1781:

Cornwallis had turned the home of Thomas Nelson, who had succeeded Jefferson as governor of Virginia, into his headquarters. Nelson, a signer of the Declaration of Independence, had led three Virginia brigades, or 3,000 men, to Yorktown and, when the shelling of the town was about to begin, urged Washington to bombard his own house. And that is where Washington, with his experienced surveyor’s eye, reputedly pointed the gun for the first (and singularly fatal) allied shot. Legend has it that the shell went right through a window and landed at the dinner table where some British officers, including the British commissary general, had just sat down to dine. The general was killed and several others wounded as it burst among their plates.

Other versions of the story have Nelson directing the Marquis de Lafayette to train French artillery on his home:

The story goes that the new Virginia Governor Thomas Nelson (who’d been held at Yorktown but released under a flag of truce) was with American forces that day. Lafayette invited Nelson to be present when Captain Thomas Machin’s battery first opened fire, as both a compliment and knowing Nelson lived in Yorktown and would know the localities in the riverport area. “To what particular spot,” Lafayette reportedly asked Nelson, “would your Excellency direct that we should point the cannon.” Nelson replied, “There, to that house. It is mine, and . . it is the best one in the town. There you will be almost certain to find Lord Cornwallis and the British headquarters.”

“A simultaneous discharge of all the guns in the line,” Joseph Martin wrote, was “followed [by] French troops accompanying it with ‘Huzza for the Americans.'” Sounding much like the Nelson legend, Martin’s account added that “the first shell sent from our batteries entered an elegant house formerly owned or occupied by the Secretary of State under the British, and burned directly over a table surrounded by a large party of British officers at dinner, killing and wounding a number of them.”

Still other accounts maintain this legend is a conflation of two separate events: Thomas Nelson, acting as commander in chief of the Virginia militia, ordered a battery to open fire on his uncle’s home, where Cornwallis was then ensconced. Later, Nelson supposedly made a friendly bet with French artillerists in which he challenged them to hit his home, one of the more prominent landmarks in Yorktown.

Whatever the truth, the Nelson home was certainly not “destroyed” as claimed. The house stands to this day as part of Colonial National Historical Park, and the National Park Service’s description of it notes only that “the southeast face of the residence does show evidence of damage from cannon fire.”

Francis Lewis had his home and properties destroyed. The enemy jailed his wife, and she died within a few months.

Francis Lewis represented New York in the Continental Congress, and shortly after he signed the Declaration of Independence his Long Island estate was raided by the British, possibly as retaliation for his having been a signatory to that document. While Lewis was in Philadelphia attending to congressional matters, his wife was taken prisoner by the British after disregarding an order for citizens to evacuate Long Island. Mrs. Lewis was held for several months before being exchanged for the wives of British officials captured by the Americans. Although her captivity was undoubtedly a hardship, she had already been in poor health for some time and died a few years (not months) later.

John Hart was driven from his wife’s bedside as she was dying. Their 13 children fled for their lives. His fields and his gristmill were laid to waste. For more than a year, he lived in forests and caves, returning home to find his wife dead and his children vanished. A few weeks later, he died from exhaustion and a broken heart.

John Hart’s New Jersey farm was looted in the course of the Revolutionary War, and he did have to remain in hiding for a while afterwards. However, the claim that he was “driven from his [dying] wife’s bedside” as his 13 children fled for his lives” is dramatic fiction. The British overran the area of New Jersey where he resided in late November of 1776, but his wife had already died on 8 October, and most of their children were adults by then. He also did not die “from exhaustion and a broken heart” a mere “few weeks” after emerging from hiding – he was twice re-elected to the Continental Congress, served as Speaker of the New Jersey assembly, and invited the American army to encamp on his New Jersey farmland in June 1778 before succumbing to kidney stones in May 1779.

Norris and Livingston suffered similar fates.

Lewis Morris (not Norris) indeed saw his Westchester County, New York, home taken over in 1776 and used as a barracks for soldiers, and the horses and livestock from his farm commandeered by military personnel, but he suffered those deprivations at the hands of the Continental Army, not the British. Shortly afterwards his home was appropriated by the British, but Morris and his wife reclaimed the property and restored their home after the war.

Philip Livingston lost several properties to the British occupation of New York and sold off others to support the war effort, and he did not recover them because he died suddenly in 1778, before the end of the war.

What should we take from all of this? The signers of the Declaration of Independence did take a huge risk in daring to put their names on a document that repudiated their government, and they had every reason to believe at the time that they might well be hanged for having done so. That was a courageous act we should indeed remember and honor on the Fourth of July amidst our “beer, picnics, and baseball games.” But we should also not lose sight of the fact that many men (and women) other than the fifty-six signers of the Declaration of Independence- some famous and most risked and sacrificed much (including their lives) to support the revolutionary cause. The hardships and losses endured by many Americans during the struggle for independence were not visited upon the signers alone, nor were they any less ruinous for having befallen people whose names are not immortalized on a piece of parchment.

Urban Legends Reference Pages  1995-2011 by Barbara and David P. Mikkelson.  http://www.snopes.com/history/american/pricepaid.asp

As a post script to this I offer an excerpted quotation from another columnist I frequently read who’s thoughts on the day have a direct bearing on the above remarks:

Most who sacrificed never made the pledge of the signers publicly but all who sacrificed realized that with freedom comes a price and each were willing to pay that price regardless of the cost, for in their hearts they knew that their sacrifice would not be in vain. With that sacrifice would come a new nation forged in blood and dedicated to the premise that all people should and can be free.
Those who made this sacrifice were not making an idle stand nor one that just followed the crowd but willingly stood for what they believed and sought within their very heart, the chance to be free. The chance to wake every morning to know that they held within their own hands the ability to lead the life of their choosing. This is why they fought. This is why many died and this is why throughout our history we have continued to fight and sacrifice to pay the price of freedom.
As we celebrate this 235th birthday of our freedom, as a nation let us not forget the sacrifice that has been made through all of those years to continually insure that each generation of Americans can enjoy the same freedoms as the generations who have gone before. Let us not forget the reason that we as a nation exist that, ” life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, “ may always be our national creed and our national calling.
May we never take for granted those freedoms and realize each freedom we possess as individuals and as a Nation has come with great sacrifice from the very inception of our country and that sacrifice still continues today to insure those freedoms and this Nation continue to live. We have a heritage of freedom and it is a heritage that we owe to continue at any cost to insure that future generations of Americans can celebrate and live in that same freedom.
God bless America and may He continue to bless our freedom and each of us who live in this land of the free.~ Ken Taylor

 

Finally it was pointed out to me that I had entirely left out any mention or graphics of fireworks in my earlier posting, Here in the Houston are and in fact most of Texas Burn Bans and outright Fireworks Bans are in effect due to record drought conditions and the extreme threat of wild fires which apparently according to Obama have to burn up a couple hundred times here what they do in Mexico before we qualify for disaster designation. That probably has something to do with my leaving them out (as well as all the nightly peace and quiet I am enjoying).

Anyway when you decide to take a breather you can put down that ear of corn, wipe those buttery fingers as well as your chin and make your own fireworks by clicking on the firecracker below.

 

 

IN OBSERVANCE OF THE OCCASION OF AMERICA’S 235TH BIRTHDAY PLEASE JOIN IMPISH DRAGON & LETHAL LEPRECHAUN IN SAYING

DAMN! What’s going on here? They filming a remake of Attack of the Lobstermen From Mars? Look at you lot! Makes me feel like I should have 5 gallons of drawn butter with garlic, 4 cases of Champaign on ice, a hydraulic nut cracker and a giant seafood fork! Any of you EVER hear of sunscreen, moderation or covering up in the sun? No? I believe it! Well at least you’re apparently making (a painful) the most of your three day weekend.

Yup its holiday time again. The second in the holy summer time trinity and arguably the most favorite of children of all ages. I’m speaking of the 4th of July as most of you know it, but more correctly called Independence Day. Today we celebrate the occasion marking the 235th anniversary of the founding of our country, but is it REALLY?

After my St. Patrick’s Day and Memorial Day Issues, you should know how this works by now. It’s time for a little holiday history and meaning education!

SILENCE IN THE RANKS! AS YOU BLOODY WELL WERE! STUFF A HOT DOG IN YOUR PIE HOLE ALREADY! Sargent At Arms Impish you may jamb the next mumbling malcontent in a roll slap mustard to him and pretend he’s a bratwurst or Georgia Red Hot!

THAT’S BETTER! I didn’t say there would not be humor, laffs, giggles groans and guffaws, all I said was we were going to learn what and why we celebrate the holiday. The government did just decide it was a good day for everyone to party and pass a mandatory party law after all, there is a reason behind the holiday declaration and celebration!

Now the sooner we get to this, the faster we can gorge ourselves silly on grilled meats and potato salad while filling the space in between those with cold beverages of your choice, so lets get going shall we?

LADIES AND GENTLEMAN AT THIS TIME PLEASE STAND FOR OUR NATIONAL ANTHEM AS SUNG BY THE COMBINED MILITARY ACADMEY CHOIRS!

(No. I’m NOT fecking kidding! Get your butts out of those chairs while this plays and I better see hands over hearts and nary a hat on a male head either!)

 

 

 

Independence Day, commonly known as the Fourth of July, has been a federal holiday in the United States since 1941, commemorating the adoption of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776, declaring independence from the Kingdom of Great Britain. The tradition of Independence Day celebrations goes back to the 18th century and the American Revolution (1775-83). In June 1776, representatives of the 13 colonies then fighting in the revolutionary struggle weighed a resolution that would declare their independence from Great Britain. On July 2nd, the Continental Congress voted in favor of independence, and two days later its delegates adopted the Declaration of Independence, a historic document drafted by Thomas Jefferson. From 1776 until the present day, July 4th has been celebrated as the birth of American independence.

Independence Day is commonly associated with fireworks, parades, barbecues, carnivals, fairs, picnics, concerts, baseball games, family reunions, political speeches and ceremonies, and various other public and private events celebrating the history, government, and traditions of the United States. Independence Day is the national day of the United States.

During the American Revolution, the legal separation of the Thirteen Colonies from Great Britain occurred on July 2, 1776, when the Second Continental Congress voted to approve a resolution of independence that had been proposed in June by Richard Henry Lee of Virginia. After voting for independence, Congress turned its attention to the Declaration of Independence, a statement explaining this decision, which had been prepared by a Committee of Five, with Thomas Jefferson as its principal author. Congress debated and revised the Declaration, finally approving it on July 4. A day earlier, John Adams had written to his wife Abigail:

The second day of July, 1776, will be the most memorable epoch in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forever more.

Adams’s prediction was off by two days. From the outset, Americans celebrated independence on July 4, the date shown on the much-publicized Declaration of Independence, rather than on July 2, the date the resolution of independence was approved in a closed session of Congress.

Historians have long disputed whether Congress actually signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4, even though Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, and Benjamin Franklin all later wrote that they had signed it on that day. Most historians have concluded that the Declaration was signed nearly a month after its adoption, on August 2, 1776, and not on July 4 as is commonly believed.

In a remarkable coincidence, both John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, the only signers of the Declaration of Independence later to serve as Presidents of the United States, died on the same day: July 4, 1826, which was the 50th anniversary of the Declaration. Although not a signer of the Declaration of Independence, James Monroe, the Fifth President of the United States, died on July 4, 1831. Calvin Coolidge, the Thirtieth President, was born on July 4, 1872, and thus was the only President to be born on Independence Day.

Original Stars and Stripes: In 1777 the Continental Congress adopted the “Stars and Stripes” as the national flag of the United States.

On September 8, 1892 a Boston-based youth magazine – The Youth’s Companion’ published a 22-word recitation for school children to use during planned activities the following month to commemorate the 400th anniversary of Columbus’ discovery of America. Under the title “The Pledge to the Flag”, the composition was the earliest version of what we now know as the Pledge of Allegiance.

Ladies and Gentlemen, on this, the National Day of the United States of America, I would ask those of you who are citizens join me in reciting the Pledge of Allegiance.

“I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands. One nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

 

Now let’s here from John Wayne on the meaning behind those words:

 

Mrs. Whyte, his teacher advises the class that each school day starts with the “Pledge of Allegiance”*** and instructs them to put their right hand over their heart and repeat after her.

As Mrs. Whyte starts the recitation she looks around the room, ‘I pledge allegiance to the flag……..’, when her eyes are drawn to Andy who has his hand over the right cheek of his bottom.

‘Andy, I cannot continue till you put your hand over your heart,’ she demands.

Andy looks up and replies, ‘It is over my heart.’

After several more attempts to get Andy to put his hand over his heart, Mrs Whyte enquires, ‘Why do you think that is your heart, Andy?’

‘Well Miss,’ answers Andy, ‘because every time my Grandma comes to visit she pats me there and says, “Bless your little heart,” and my Grandma never lies.’

By KIMBERLY HEFLING Associated Press FORT BELVOIR, Va. July 3, 2011 (AP)

http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=13987026

FORT BELVOIR, Va. (AP) — A homemade wind chime with the word “Whining” under a red slash is made from metal parts put in his leg after a parachute accident. Every Sunday he trims his crew cut. He didn’t join the Army willingly, but as Command Sgt. Maj. Jeff Mellinger prepares to retire, he’s grateful he found his calling.

Mellinger was drafted to fight in the Vietnam War, and the Army believes he’s the last draftee to retire, after 39 years. Most did their two years and left. But Mellinger had found home.

“I think I’m pretty good at it, but I like it. That’s the bottom line. I love being a soldier and I love being around soldiers,” he said.

Mellinger’s motto is simple: No whining — as the wind chime attests.

When the draft notice arrived in the mail in 1972 at his home in Eugene, Ore., tens of thousands of troops had been killed. Anti-war protests were rampant. Draft cards were being burned and returning soldiers were treated as part of the problem. The military wasn’t a popular job.

The return address on the letter was the White House. Just 19, he was impressed that President Richard Nixon would write to him.

“I opened it up and it said, ‘Greetings from the president of the United States.’ I said, ‘Wow, how’s he know me?'” Mellinger said, laughing. “It was a form letter that said my friends and neighbors had selected me to represent them in the Armed Forces and I was hereby ordered to report for induction.”

Mellinger told the draft board there was a mistake.

To see the remainder of the story follow the link above.

  Once, in the 1820’s, a little boy called Sam was playing in the yard behind his house.  During his pretend fighting game, he knocked over the outhouse.  Now Sam was upset and worried that he would get into trouble so he ran into the woods and didn’t come out until after got dark.  When he arrived back home, his pappy was waiting for him.  He asked suspiciously, “Son, did you knock over the outhouse this afternoon?”

“No, pappy,” Sam lied.

“Well, let me tell you a story,” said the father. “Once, not that long ago, Mr. Lincoln received a shiny new axe from his father.  Excited, he tried it out on a tree, swiftly cutting it down.  But as he looked at the tree, with dismay he realized it was his mother’s favorite cherry tree,” his pappy paused.” just like you, he ran into the woods. When he returned, his pappy asked, ‘Abraham, did you cut down the cherry tree?’  Abraham answered with, ‘Father, I cannot tell a lie. I did indeed chop down the tree.’ Then his father said, ‘Well, since you were honest with me, you are spared from punishment. I hope you have learned your lesson, though.’ So,” the Sam’s father asked again,” did you knock down the outhouse?”

“Pappy, I cannot tell a lie any more.” said the little boy. “I did indeed knock down the outhouse.”

Then his pappy father spanked Sam boy red, white, and blue. The boy whimpered, “Pappy, I told you the truth! Why did you spank me?”

Pappy answered, “That’s because Abraham Lincoln’s father wasn’t in the tree when he chopped it down!”

In the great tradition of American humor, the title of “First American Humorist” rightfully belongs to Benjamin Franklin. He was the beginning of a long line of writers who created a uniquely American form of humor filled with clever wit, folksy wisdom, and a generous portion of irreverence.

In his Poor Richard’s Almanac, Franklin wrote many clever sayings which are still part of our cultural heritage today. At 26, Franklin published the first edition of Poor Richard’s Almanac under the pseudonym Richard Saunders.

• Remember that time is money.
• A little neglect may breed mischief: for want of a nail, the shoe was lost; for want of a shoe the horse was lost; and for want of a horse the rider was lost.
• A penny saved is a penny earned.
• Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do.
• Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.
• Fish and visitors smell in three days.
• Genius without education is like silver in the mine.
  

   

• God helps them that help themselves.
• Haste makes waste.
• Hide not your talents. They for use were made. What’s a sundial in the shade?
• It is hard for an empty bag to stand upright.
• Little strokes fell great oaks.
• Never leave that till to-morrow which you can do to-day.
• Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
• Well done is better than well said.
• In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.
• There never was a good war nor a bad peace.
• Never contradict anybody.

http://www.jacquielawson.com/preview.asp?cont=1&hdn=0&pv=3283561&path=83560

 

Ben Franklin Tells Us How To Be Seen As A Person With A Brain And A Social Wit

Dr Benjamin Franklin was not really a doctor; his title Doctor was one of those first honorariums given a man of great achievement and reflects the impact he had on his age.

Here are seven ways Benjamin Franklin would suggest you consider to be seen as one with a brain and a social wit.

1. Elevate, not desecrate. Never use cutting humour, dissect theirs.
2. Keep your humour light, fun, open to participation.
3. Reflect your humour to show you row your own boat.
4. You row merrily, and you attract others to you.
5. As you deflect bitterness, fear, answers appear.
6. Your summary encapsulates the situation and hints that the best way out may be to back up to where we went wrong, once we all clearly agree what that was.
7. Elevate, even exaggerate, achievement. Mock an obvious folly but with a twist. If attacked, return their volley as a mirror.

Five of the Best Ben Franklin Quotations

1. Where there’s marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.
2. Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.
3. They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
4. Be civil to all; sociable to many; familiar with few; friend to one; enemy to none.
5. Some are weather-wise, some are otherwise.

 

 

The Pennsylvania Assembly ordered the Bell in 1751 to commemorate the 50-year anniversary of William Penn’s 1701 Charter of Privileges, Pennsylvania’s original Constitution. It speaks of the rights and freedoms valued by people the world over. Particularly forward thinking were Penn’s ideas on religious freedom, his liberal stance on Native American rights, and his inclusion of citizens in enacting laws.

As the Bell was created to commemorate the golden anniversary of Penn’s Charter, the quotation “Proclaim Liberty throughout all the land unto all the inhabitants thereof,” from Leviticus 25:10, was particularly apt. For the line in the Bible immediately preceding “proclaim liberty” is, “And ye shall hallow the fiftieth year.” What better way to pay homage to Penn and hallow the 50th year than with a bell proclaiming liberty?

In 1847, George Lippard wrote a fictional story for The Saturday Currier which told of an elderly bellman waiting in the State House steeple for the word that Congress had declared Independence. The story continues that privately he began to doubt Congress’s resolve. Suddenly the bellman’s grandson, who was eavesdropping on the doors of Congress, yelled to him, “Ring, Grandfather! Ring!”

This story so captured the imagination of people throughout the land that the Liberty Bell was forever associated with the Declaration of Independence.

The truth is that the steeple was in bad condition and historians today highly doubt that the Bell actually rang in 1776. However, its association with the Declaration of Independence was fixed in the collective mythology.

 

Father William, the old priest, made it a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name. They came up with about 40 names.  Father William jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states.

One lad raised his hand and said, ‘Yes sir, but in those days there were only 13 states.

 

 

  And God Bless Those Patriotic Triplets!  DAMN!

 

 

 

 

 

During the Revolutionary War, the Continental Congress established different oaths for the enlisted men of the Continental Army. Federal law requires everyone who enlists or re-enlists in the Armed Forces of the United States to take the enlistment oath.

In the Armed Forces EXCEPT the National Guard (Army or Air)

I, (NAME), do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.

In the National Guard (Army or Air)

I, (NAME), do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States and the State of (STATE NAME) against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the Governor of (STATE NAME) and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to law and regulations. So help me God.

All officers of the seven Uniformed services of the United States take swear or affirm an oath of office upon commissioning. It differs slightly from that of the oath of enlistment that enlisted members recite when they enter the service.

I, [name], do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter. So help me God

Officers of the National Guard of the various States, however, take an additional oath:

I, [name], do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States and the Constitution of the State (Commonwealth, District, Territory) of ___ against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the Governor of the State (Commonwealth, District, Territory) of ___, that I make this obligation freely, without any mental reservations or purpose of evasion, and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the Office of [grade] in the Army/Air National Guard of the State (Commonwealth, District, Territory) of ___ upon which I am about to enter, so help me God

 

To prove I am THE UNDEPUTED MASTER of the Groaner, here is a bunch of 4th of July Groaners to suffer through!

What quacks, has webbed feet, and betrays his country?
Beneduck Arnold!

What did Paul Revere say at the end of his ride?
“I gotta get a softer saddle!”

What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1773?
The Boston Flea Party!

What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?
The Americans licked the British!

Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?
Because the horse was too heavy to carry!

Why did the British cross the Atlantic?
To get to the other tide!

What do you call a parade of German mercenaries?
A Hessian procession! 

What would you get if you crossed a patriot with a small curly-haired dog?
Yankee Poodle!

Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?
Yeah, it cracked me up!

What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cattle feed?
The Fodder of Our Country!

What’s red, white, blue, and almost as ugly as a dog?
A revolutionary warthog!

What did one flag say to the other flag?
Nothing. It just waved!

What’s red, white, black and blue?
Uncle Sam falling down the steps!

Where did George Washington buy his hatchet?
At the chopping mall!

What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?
Liberty!

What was General Washington’s favourite tree?
The infantry!

Which colonists told the most jokes?
Punsylvanians!

What would you get if you crossed Washington’s home with nasty insects?
Mt. Vermin!

What did a patriot put on his dry skin?
Revo-lotion!

What would you get if you crossed a dog with the Father of Our Country?
George Washingtongue!

Who is a dogs favourite Founding Father?
Bone Franklin!

What would you get if you crossed Jon with the English king in 1776?
King George the Nerd!

What dance was very popular in 1776?
Indepen-dance!

Which one of Washington’s officers had the best sense of humour?
Laughayette!

What is a hungry boys favourite picnic event?
The snack race!

“How was the food at the Fourth of July picnic?
“The hot dogs were bad and the brats were wurst!”

What did Washington say as he crossed the Delaware?
“Next time I’m going to reserve a seat!”

Teacher: “Why did Washington chop down the cherry tree with his hatchet?”
Student: “Because his mom wouldn’t let him play with the chain saw!”

Teacher: “The Declaration of Independence was written in Philadelphia. True or false?”
Student: “False! It was written in ink!”

Why did Washington win the battle of Trenton?
Because the enemy soldiers were Hessian around!

What would you get if you crossed a monster with one of Washington’s officers?
Baron von Steupid!

What has four legs, a shiny nose, and fought for England?
Rudolph the Redcoat Reindeer!

What march would you play at a jungle parade?
“Tarzan Stripes Forever”!

What would you get if you crossed a monster with a redcoat?
A bigger target.

Why did the British soldiers wear red coats?
So they could hide in the tomatoes.

Why is the Liberty Bell like a dropped Easter egg?
Because they’re both cracked!

Teacher: “Who wrote `Oh say, can you see?”‘
Student: “An eye doctor?”

How is a healthy person like the United States?
They both have good constitutions!

What would you get if you crossed Patrick Henry with a hungry boy?
A patriot who says, “Give me lasagna or give me death!”

What has feathers, webbed feet, and certain inalienable rights?
The Ducklaration of Independence!

Why did the duck say “Bang!”?
Because he was a firequacker!

What cat said, “The British are coming! The British are coming!”?
Paw Revere.

What was the craziest battle of the Revolutionary War?
The Battle of Bonkers Hill.

What was Thomas Jefferson’s favourite dessert?
Monti jello!

Teacher: “Which son of old Virginia wrote the Declaration of Independence?”
Student: “I think it was Thomas Jeffer’s son.”

What did King George think of the American colonists?
He thought they were revolting!

Why were the early American settlers like ants?
Because they lived in colonies.

What famous pig signed the Declaration of Independence?
John Hamcock!

What did George Washington say to his army at Valley Forge?
“Sorry, men. The flights to Florida are all booked up!”

What would you get if you crossed the American national bird with Snoopy?
A bald beagle!

What would you get if you crossed a colonial hairpiece with a teepee?
A powdered wigwam!

What’s red, white, blue, and green?
A patriotic pickle!

What did the visitor say as he left the Statue of Liberty?
“Keep in torch!”

What’s big, cracked, and carries your luggage?
The Liberty Bellhop!

What ghost haunted King George III?
The spirit of ’76!

Did you hear about the cartoonist in the Continental Army?
He was a Yankee doodler!

What would you get if you crossed a monster with Yankee Doodle?
Yankee Doofus!

What’s red, white, blue and green?
A seasick Uncle Sam!

TIME on the Constitution: ‘Does It Still Matter?’

By Mark Alexander · Thursday, June 30, 2011

Only if Liberty still matters

“The Constitution, which at any time exists, ’till changed by an explicit and authentic act of the whole People, is sacredly obligatory upon all.” –George Washington, September 19, 1796

 

In celebration of the 235th anniversary of the signing of our Declaration of Independence, Time Magazine, the “journal of record” for the Leftist Illiterati (or as they prefer to be known, “the intelligentsia”), published a cover story featuring their errant interpretation of our Constitution. On an image of the shredding of that venerable old document Time posited this question: “Does it still matter?”

The short answer is, only if Liberty still matters. But Time’s managing editor, Richard Stengel, begs to differ, having discarded Rule of Law for the rule of men.

 

In his boorish 5,000-word treatise on the issue, Stengel unwittingly exposes the Left’s patently uninformed and self-serving interpretation of our Constitution, and he aptly defines their adherence to a “living constitution.” That adulterated version of its original intent is the result of revision by decades of radical judicial diktats, rather than in the manner prescribed by our Constitution’s Article V.

Stengel opined, “To me the Constitution is a guardrail. It’s for when we are going off the road and it gets us back on. It’s not a traffic cop that keeps us going down the center.” According to Stengel, then, our Constitution just exists to keep us between the ditches and entitles us to swerve all over the road without consequence. Of course, that is hardly what our Founders intended, but Stengel insists that to ask “what did the framers want is kind of a crazy question.”

Exhibiting a keen sense of the obvious, Stengel observes that times have changed and that our Founders “did not know about” all the advancements of the present era. Thus he concludes our Constitution must be pliable, or, as Thomas Jefferson forewarned in 1819, “a mere thing of wax in the hands of the judiciary which they may twist and shape into any form they please.”

Stengel insists, “The Constitution works so well precisely because it is so opaque, so general, so open to various interpretations,” rather than, as “originalists contend … a clear, fixed meaning.”

To assert that our Founders intended the Constitution to be “so opaque, so general, so open to various interpretations” is beyond any accurate reading of history. As noted previously, our Founders provided a method to amend our Constitution in Article V. The problem, of course, is that Stengel and his Leftist cadres know their agenda would never pass a Constitutional Convention and, thus, they circumvent Article V by discarding Rule of Law in deference to their own tyrannical rule.

Consequently, we now have a Constitution in exile, one that is little more than a straw man amid increasingly politicized courts that serve the special interests of political constituencies rather than interpreting the document’s plain language, as judges are bound by solemn oath to do (Article VI, Section 3).

While it is highly tempting, any effort to rebut Stengel’s erroneous claims point by point would violate my own rule against swapping spit with a jackass. However, as it is the eve of Independence Day, let us, for the record, revisit Essential Liberty as “endowed by our Creator” according to our Declaration.

The natural rights of man outlined in our Declaration are enshrined in our Constitution as evident in its most comprehensive explication, The Federalist Papers, a defense of that august document by its author, James Madison, and Founders Alexander Hamilton and John Jay.

Here is what our Founders actually did write about our Constitution and Rule of Law.

George Washington: “The basis of our political systems is the right of the people to make and to alter their Constitutions of Government. But the Constitution, which at any time exists, ’till changed by an explicit and authentic act of the whole People, is sacredly obligatory upon all. … If in the opinion of the people the distribution or modification of the constitutional powers be in any particular wrong, let it be corrected by an amendment in the way which the Constitution designates. But let there be no change by usurpation; for though this in one instance may be the instrument of good, it is the customary weapon by which free governments are destroyed.”

Thomas Jefferson: “Our peculiar security is in possession of a written Constitution. Let us not make it a blank paper by construction. … If it is, then we have no Constitution. … [T]o consider the judges as the ultimate arbiters of all constitutional questions … would place us under the despotism of an oligarchy. … In questions of power, then, let no more be heard of confidence in man, but bind him down from mischief by the chains of the Constitution.”

Alexander Hamilton: “If it were to be asked, ‘What is the most sacred duty and the greatest source of our security in a Republic?’ The answer would be, ‘An inviolable respect for the Constitution and Laws — the first growing out of the last. … A sacred respect for the constitutional law is the vital principle, the sustaining energy of a free government. … [T]he present Constitution is the standard to which we are to cling. Under its banners, bona fide must we combat our political foes — rejecting all changes but through the channel itself provides for amendments.”

James Madison: “I entirely concur in the propriety of resorting to the sense in which the Constitution was accepted and ratified by the nation. In that sense alone it is the legitimate Constitution. And if that be not the guide in expounding it, there can be no security for a consistent and stable, more than for a faithful exercise of its powers.”

There is no ambiguity about the intent that our Constitution, as written and ratified, specifies only one means for amendment, and all other methods are not only illegal, but more ominously as Washington noted, “change by usurpation…is the customary weapon by which free governments are destroyed.”

Stengel’s biggest whopper, however, is one I simply can’t let pass without rebuttal. He writes, “If the Constitution was intended to limit the federal government, it sure doesn’t say so. Article I, Section 8, the longest section of the longest article of the Constitution, is a drumroll of congressional power.”

My chief witness against this ridiculous claim would be James Madison, “the Father of our Constitution.” As Madison wrote in Federalist No. 45, “The powers delegated by the proposed Constitution to the federal government are few and defined. Those which are to remain in the State governments are numerous and indefinite. The former will be exercised principally on external objects, as war, peace, negotiation, and foreign commerce; with which last the power of taxation will, for the most part, be connected. The powers reserved to the several states will extend to all the objects which, in the ordinary course of affairs, concern the lives, liberties, and properties of the people, and the internal order, improvement and prosperity of the State.”

That piece of trenchant prose would, of course, became the basis for the Tenth Amendment, which clearly and tightly limits the authority and scope of the federal government.

Before Stengel next ventures to opine on our Constitution, which for him is clearly uncharted territory, perhaps he should read a copy of “Essential Liberty.”

 

Time magazine is but one of a surfeit of liberal propaganda tools which play supporting roles in the primary assault on our Constitution.

The lead actor is Barack Hussein Obama who, along with his cadre of “useful idiots,” are systematically dismantling the last vestiges of our Constitution’s Rule of Law mandate.

As we prepare to observe this Independence Day anniversary, our nation is once again confronting a perilous threat to Liberty.

Thomas Paine once wrote, “[A]n unwritten constitution is not a constitution at all.” I beg you take note: Our Constitution is being “unwritten” at an unprecedented pace. Obama has mounted a well-organized and well-funded effort to “fundamentally transform” our nation into a socialist state by thus deconstructing our Constitution. He has deserted his oath to “preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States,” in accordance with Article II, Section 1, and clearly never intended to “take care that the Laws be faithfully executed,” as specified in Section 3.

As was the case at the Dawn of American Liberty, we are but a small band of American Patriots facing an empire of statists, but we remain steadfast in our sacred oath to support and defend our Constitution. Please help us fight the ideology and propaganda of the Left in order to restore the integrity of our Constitution.

http://patriotpost.us/alexander/2011/06/30/time-on-the-constitution-does-it-still-matter/

From where I sit Barack Obama and the entire left are edging us closer daily to two things, national bankruptcy and a second Civil War/ American Revolution. Don’t get me wrong, the Republican’s are not without their blame in this either. Their inflexible obstructionist approach to compromise is doing nothing to alleviate or mitigate the situation which is coming to a rapid and I fear explosive head.

All that is required for the first is four more years of Obama’s spending practices coupled with the Republican’s inflexibility over taxing the rich fairly. The second only requires the abolishment of the rule of law for an armed rebellion to occur.

I find the prospect of a second Civil War/ American Revolution both frightening and from a military officer’s view point interesting. Check the oaths above, we all swear to defend against all enemies foreign and domestic. What happens when the government BECOMES that enemy? A coup d’état? A second civil war where states secede from the Union? A revolution to a different form of government? What foreign powers will attempt to meddle in our internal affair the same way we are so benevolently meddling in Libya?

You find those questions frightening? So do I. So why are not more people worried enough to do something about those who are causing us to be afraid of our own government?

 

It’s the Fourth Of July!
No more work! Let’s play!
I’ve got an idea!
Let’s have a picnic!

Just dive in and enjoy
The sun and the water!
Find a cool lake
And jump in!

SPLASH!

There’s swimming
And badminton!
Volleyball,
Croquet and golf!

Then pull out the Bar-B-Q
And fix a grand feast!
Everything’s char-grilled,
With all that smoky goodness!

We’ll have foot long hot dogs
And juicy burgers,
T-bone steaks
And grilled chicken!

Then there’s potato salad
And corn-on-the-cob,
Cole slaw and cake
And sweet watermelon!

Well….
We’ll have a feast
If the cook doesn’t
Burn it all up!

So light up some sparklers!
And lots of bottle rockets!

It’s the Fourth Of July!
Have some fun!

Guacamole Appetizer Squares Recipe

prep 20 min  cook 10 min  serves 20

Number of servings: 2 squares

Ingredients

    2 tubes (8 ounces each) refrigerated crescent rolls
    1-1/2 teaspoons taco seasoning
    1 package (1 pound) sliced bacon, diced
    1 package (8 ounces) cream cheese, softened
    1-1/2 cups guacamole
    3 plum tomatoes, chopped
    1 can (3.8 ounces) sliced ripe olives, drained

How to make it  30 minutes, plus cooling

1 Unroll both tubes of crescent dough and pat into an ungreased 15-in. x 10-in. x 1-in. baking pan; seal seams and perforations. Build up edges. Prick dough with a fork; sprinkle with taco seasoning. Bake at 375° for 10-12 minutes or until golden brown. Cool completely on a wire rack.

2 In a large skillet, cook bacon over medium heat until crisp. Using a slotted spoon, remove to paper towels. In a small bowl, beat cream cheese and guacamole until smooth.

3 Spread cream cheese mixture over crust. Sprinkle with bacon, tomatoes and olives. Refrigerate until serving. Cut into squares. Yield: about 3 dozen.

Nutritional Information(per serving)

    Calories: 170
    Fat: 14g
    Saturated Fat: 5g
    Cholesterol: 19mg

    Sodium: 399mg
    Carbs: 8g
    Protein: 5g
    Fiber: 1g

Chicken Enchilada Dip Recipe

prep 12 min  cook 8 min  serves 24

Ingredients

    2 cups shredded cooked chicken
    1 can (10-3/4 oz) condensed cream of chicken soup, undiluted
    1 cup (4 oz) shredded cheddar cheese
    1 can (5 oz) evaporated milk
    1/3 cup finely chopped onion
    1/2 cup chopped celery
    1 can (4 oz) chopped green chilies
    1 envelope taco seasoning
    Tortilla chips

    How to make it  20 minutes

    1     In a 2-qt. microwave-safe dish, combine the first eight ingredients. Microwave, uncovered, on high for 4-5 minutes; stir. Microwave, uncovered, 3-4 minutes longer or until heated through. Serve with tortilla chips. Yield: 3 cups.

Leprechaun’s Note: This recipe is based on using a 1,100-watt microwave. You may have to adjust times accordingly based on the wattage of your microwave.

Almond Streusel-Cherry Cheesecake Bars

Prize-Winning Recipe 2008! Sugar cookie mix makes the base of a creamy cheesecake bar with a baked-in cherry filling.
 
Prep Time: 45 min
Total Time: 4 hours 0 min
Makes: 24 bars

Cookie Base and Topping

1 pouch (1 lb 1.5 oz) Betty Crocker® sugar cookie mix
1/4 cup cold butter or margarine
4 oz (half of 8-oz package) cream cheese
1/2 cup sliced almonds

Filling

2 1/2 packages (8 oz each) cream cheese (20 oz), softened
1/2 cup sugar
2 tablespoons Gold Medal® all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon almond extract
2 eggs
1 can (21 oz) cherry pie filling
 
1. Heat oven to 350°F. Spray bottom and sides of 13×9-inch pan with cooking spray. Place cookie mix in large bowl. Cut in butter and 4 oz cream cheese, using pastry blender or fork, until mixture is crumbly. Reserve 1 1/2 cups mixture for topping. Press remaining mixture in bottom of pan. Bake 12 minutes.

2. Meanwhile, in large bowl, beat 20 oz cream cheese, the sugar, flour, almond extract and eggs with electric mixer on medium speed until smooth.

3. Spread cream cheese mixture evenly over partially baked cookie base. Spoon pie filling evenly over cream cheese mixture. Sprinkle with reserved topping and almonds.

4. Bake 40 to 45 minutes or until light golden brown. Cool 30 minutes. Refrigerate about 2 hours or until chilled. For bars, cut into 6 rows by 4 rows. Store covered in refrigerator.

High Altitude (3500-6500 ft): In step 1, bake cookie base 15 minutes. In step 4, bake 45 to 50 minutes.

Nutrition Information:

1 Bar: Calories 270 (Calories from Fat 140); Total Fat 15g (Saturated Fat 8g, Trans Fat 1g); Cholesterol 55mg; Sodium 160mg; Total Carbohydrate 28g (Dietary Fiber 0g, Sugars 20g); Protein 4g Percent Daily Value*: Vitamin A 10%; Vitamin C 0%; Calcium 4%; Iron 4% Exchanges: 1 Starch; 1 Other Carbohydrate; 0 Vegetable; 3 Fat Carbohydrate Choices: 2
*Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet.

 

 

 

 

 

    

We’ll look at a couple of summer time appropriate adult beverages today. Remember, if you’re drinking the only thing your driving is your sandals! IF you do over do trying out these recipes don’t worry about remembering the rest of the holiday, the details will all be in the court report anyway!

 

Sangria: Ultimate Summer Party Drink, or Anarchy in a Pitcher?

Sangria is fruity, delicious, alcoholic anarchy. There are no rules outside of it having a wine base along with fruit and some sort of spirits. Over the years, I’ve experimented with combinations of flavors that sometimes have wound up in the sink drain, but that’s the fun of it. Lesson number one: taste as you go.

Paying homage to its Mediterranean roots, I like to start with a more fruit-forward Spanish red wine like Rioja or a Spanish Grenache

For each bottle of wine, I tend to use around a quarter cup of brandy. Sometimes I’ll go for a standard unflavored one, but I like to experiment and have tried everything from peach brandy to orange liqueur. So far, my personal favorite is Applejack American apple brandy. And if you’re feeling more adventurous, try adding spiced rum, or an Bourbon, Irish whiskey, Yukon Jack or Southern Comfort.

It wouldn’t be sangria without fruit, and I like to tell myself that the more that goes in the healthier it is. Citrus fruits such as oranges and lemons work beautifully with the wine – make sure to squeeze some of the juice in too before slicing them up. I’d also suggest using frozen fruit like cherries, peaches, pineapples and grapes. It will keep your punch cooler longer and the fruit won’t get mushy.

If you enjoy a sweeter style of Sangria, I highly recommend using simple syrup instead of straight sugar, as the latter will just sink to the bottom of the pitcher. Simple syrup is easy to make: just mix equal parts sugar and hot water. Add in small quantities and taste as you go. (You’ll want to go light on the simple syrup if using a sweet “octane additive” like Yukon Jack or Southern Comfort Honey is also another sweeting alternative)

Throw the mixture into the refrigerator a few hours so the flavors have time to mingle together. When it’s time to serve, add lots of ice and a little sparkling water to give it some fizz. Sangria is best enjoyed cold on a warm day with great friends. (Use a flavored sparkling water that complements your selection of fruits)

Here is my basic guideline for building your ultimate pitcher of Sangria:

—1 bottle of fruit-forward red wine
—1 lemon, cut into wedges
—1 orange, cut into wedges
—2 oz. brandy
—2 cups club soda or ginger ale

Mix together with ice in a pitcher and serve. 

See there, we haven’t even started on the drinks yet and things are getting out of hand! It’s all fun and games until someone starts Tweeting their wiener, then its just a political scandal!

Mojito

An easy mojito recipe to liven up your party:

For each drink:
1.5 oz  Rum
12 fresh spearmint leaves
1/2 lime
7 oz club soda
2 tbsp. simple syrup
(or 4 tsp. extra fine sugar)

Gently crush mint leaves and lightly squeeze lime in a cool tall glass. Pour sweet syrup to cover and fill glass with ice. Add Rum, club soda, and stir your emerging mojito well. Garnish with a lime wedge and a few sprigs of mint. The best bar recipes then add these essential steps: toast, (I suggest to our country’s longevity & prosperity) sip, and enjoy.

Absolut Lemonade

 
Ingredients:
3/4 oz. Amaretto
3/4 oz. Absolut Citron Vodka
2 oz. Sour Mix
1 splash Sprite
 
Glass to Use: Beer Pint
 
Directions:
Pour all ingredients into a pint glass filled with ice.

Finally one for you designated “Adults” at the party

Cherry Limeade

An extra tart cherry limeade. To reduce the tartness, stir in an additional bottle of lemon-lime soda.

Servings: 12

Ingredients:
2 (12 fluid ounce) cans frozen limeade concentrate
1 (2 liter) bottle lemon-lime flavored carbonated beverage
1 (10 ounce) jar maraschino cherries, drained and juice reserved
1 lime

Directions:
Pour both cans of concentrated limeade into a large pitcher. Mix in
lemon-lime soda. Stir in reserved cherry juice. Squeeze juice from lime
into mixture, then slice and set aside. Stir well and serve over ice.
Garnish with cherries and lime slices.

   

The American Pride Camaro was commissioned by GM in the Summer of 2010. It is a 2011 Camaro and was a top secret project. It was painted at Mountain Muscle Cars in Cosby TN. The project took about three months from start to finish. This car was the brainchild of Scott Settlemire from GM’s Show car division.

This is a really cool paint job. Amazing work.

Take a close look at the detail.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is your Lethal Leprechaun speaking, fasten you’re seatbelts return your tray tables to their stowed and locked positions, secure all your beverages and loose objects because I an livid and in a foaming at the (somewhat foul so be warned) mouth rant and you are being forced to come along for the ride. Hopefully when I am done you’ll be standing shoulder to shoulder with me howling for blood over this injustice to our service personnel too!

VA cemetery accused of censoring religious speech

By LINDSAY WISE Copyright 2011 HOUSTON CHRONICLE  June 28, 2011, 8:06PM

 

Local veterans and volunteer groups accuse Department of Veterans Affairs officials of censoring religious speech — including the word “God” — at Houston National Cemetery.

In one example cited in documents filed this week in federal court, cemetery director Arleen Ocasio reportedly told volunteers with the National Memorial Ladies that they had to stop telling families, “God bless you,” at funerals and that they had to remove the words “God bless” from condolence cards.

“It’s just unfair that somebody would ask us to take God out of our vocabulary,” said Cheryl Whitfield, founder of Houston National Memorial Ladies.

“I could’ve kept my mouth shut and let things happen, but when it comes to standing up for your belief in God and giving comfort to the families, I don’t want to regret not saying anything,” Whitfield said. “We all had to stand up for what we believe in.”

The new allegations of “religious hostility” by VA and cemetery officials follow on the heels of a controversy over Pastor Scott Rainey’s prayer in Jesus’ name at a Memorial Day service in the cemetery.

U.S. District Judge Lynn N. Hughes ruled May 26 that the government couldn’t stop Rainey from using the words “Jesus Christ” in his invocation. Hughes issued a temporary restraining order to prevent VA from censoring Rainey’s prayer.

Attorneys with the nonprofit Liberty Institute, which represented Rainey, filed an amended complaint this week after allegedly finding other instances of religious discrimination by cemetery officials against members of The American Legion Post 586, Veterans of Foreign Wars District 4, and the National Memorial Ladies, a volunteer group that attends funerals of fallen service members.

The complaint accuses VA of “a widespread and consistent practice of discriminating against private religious speech” at the cemetery.

According to court documents, Ocasio banned veterans organizations and volunteer groups from using certain religious words such as “God” or “Jesus,” censored the content of prayer, and forbade the use of religious messages in burial rituals unless the deceased’s family submitted the text for prior approval.

What’s more, the veterans allege the VA turned the chapel into a meeting room shortly after the director came on board two years ago.

Read more: http://www.myfoxhouston.com/dpp/news/local/110628-veterans-allege-va-censoring-prayer#ixzz1QdOGfRNL

The documents allege that VA prohibited volunteer honor guards from providing optional recitations to families for consideration, and that when burial teams conduct military honors for a veteran’s funeral, a government official monitors what is said.

So far the complaints appear to be isolated to the Houston National Cemetery. The government has until the middle of next month to respond to the allegations.

After the hearing, Vietnam veteran Nobleton Jones spoke up at a Liberty Institute press conference.

Jones said he has presented shell casings from the gun salute to veterans’ grieving family members at funerals in Houston National Cemetery for the past three years.

But after a burial ceremony May 16, Jones said a government official told him he could no longer recite the words he always says when he hands over the shells: “We ask that God grant you and your family grace, mercy and peace.”

The 66-year-old Houstonian said he felt belittled.

“That makes me feel smaller, even after I spent my time in the military, fighting so that people should be able to say that,” he said.

“I did all this for my country and you are going to tell me what I can and can’t say?”

Read more: http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/metropolitan/7630537.html#ixzz1Qd7MIGFK

OMFG! You have GOT to be kidding me! How does this bitch manage not to get herself buried alive with someone!

Oh, wait, that would disgrace the memory of the serviceman being buried wouldn’t it? My money is on her being an ACLU loving Atheist Commie   Rat Faced Bitch of a Anti War Activist Hippie Leftist Looney

This is nothing more than the opening of another front by the Left and lead by Obama the closet towel headed Koran kissing clown pretending to be America’s leader on our Judeo-Christian heritage and civil rights! This time the target is our Military and our Veteran’s. It wasn’t insult enough that Janet Napolitano called those opposing illegal immigration, supporting gun rights, and our military –all potential terrorists. Now the Left has their sites set on rendering a final slap in the face instead of final honors to our fallen by pissing on the religious freedoms they fought and possibly died for!

(see and read about the bitch here: http://www.guidrynews.com/story.aspx?id=1000025672)

The Department of Veterans Affairs is SUPPOSED to be there to support our veterans and see that they are taken care of for their sacrifice and service to our country. See here its true:

The United States Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) is a government-run military veteran benefit system with Cabinet-level status. It is the United States government’s second largest department, after the United States Department of Defense. With a total 2009 budget of about $87.6 billion, VA employs nearly 280,000 people at hundreds of Veterans Affairs medical facilities, clinics, and benefits offices and is responsible for administering programs of veterans’ benefits for veterans, their families, and survivors.

The benefits provided include disability compensation, pension, education, home loans, life insurance, vocational rehabilitation, survivors’ benefits, medical benefits and burial benefits. It is administered by the United States Secretary of Veterans Affairs.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Department_of_Veterans_Affairs

In the last 20 years however its become more and more of a tool for the government to insult, dishonor and abuse them.

It’s not bad enough that the VA Medical facilities are dirty, substandard behind the times, over crowded and understaffed with the rudest people they can find, NOW the VA has discovered and is apparently condoning slapping our Veterans in their face in a new way. ‘You might have fought for God and Country, but that Country is now telling you as a Veteran you no longer have the freedoms of Speech and Right To Worship you fought to defend to speak in a sacred place about the God another Veteran that fought for God and Country is being buried in?” Seriously? God has been part of our country and its military since its inception! It is ALL OVER our beginnings, appearing in our founding document TWICE in the 1st two paragraphs:

When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed.

The protection of our freedom of religious expression is in the Bill of Rights:

Article III

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

It is on our money both folding and coinage, every denomination:

It’s in our National Anthem’s little known fourth verse:

Oh! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved home and the war’s desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heav’n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: “In God is our trust.”
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

Now, JUST WHO THE FUCK IS THIS AUTOCRATIC SNOT NOSE ATHEST BITCH to deny our military veterans, living or dead their federally assured and mandated civil right or permission to speak of a founding principle of our land that they all fought for, many died for and many are STILL fighting and dying for?

V.A. Cemetery Director Arleen Ocasio should not be disciplined and transferred but public chastised for her actions by the V.A. Secretary, made to publicly apologize to the Veteran’s Groups who are taking their own time and money to assist with final burial honors, the families of deceased Veteran’s who’s burial her autocratic attitude has interfered with, and finally all Veterans and Service Personnel in general for demeaning their personal sacrifice of service to this nation and then summarily fired and barred from governmental service.

Personally were I the one deciding, I’d strip her of her citizenship and throw her ass out of the country too!

In My (ok not really so) Humble Opinion the VA ought to be removed from the Cabinet level and placed under the DoD, answerable to the SecDef but performance reviewed by the JCOS. Eric Ken Shinsek a retired United States Army four-star general who holds the dubious distinction of currently serving as the 7th United States Secretary of Veterans Affairs may have had a long and distinguished career in the military but it would seem he’s a walking cluster fuck as the Secretary of Veteran’s Affairs to allow something like this to go on, as have been several of his predecessors.

In fact I am reminded of a scene from one of my favorite movies I happened to watch only last weekend, Heartbreak Ridge.

Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: I am, sir. Major Malcolm Powers.
Colonel Meyers: Did you lead this assault?
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Sir, Lieutenant Ring and Gunnery Sergeant Highway disobeyed a direct order. I told them to wait for support but they went up this hill anyway.
Colonel Meyers: [to Highway] Why?
Highway: We’re Marines, sir. We’re paid to adapt, to improvise.
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: Sir, I gave the order to take this hill.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Ring, this is going to ruin your career.
Colonel Meyers: Are you new to the infantry, Major?
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Yes, sir. Just came over from supply.
Colonel Meyers: Were you good at that?
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Yes, sir!
Colonel Meyers: Well then, stick to it because you’re a walking cluster fuck as an infantry officer. My men are hard chargers, Major! Lieutenant Ring and Gunny Highway took a handful of young fire pissers, exercised some personal initiative and kicked ass!

The problem in a nutshell is the VA is full of too many bureaucrats who are professional government hanger ons with delusions of autocracy over the Veterans that are supposed to SERVE. Most of these I doubt have ever served in a front line unit much less seen a shot fired in anger much less at them. This makes it too easy to undervalue the vets and what they have given our country in my opinion. I cannot see this happening were it under the DoD and cannot help but think they would get better care and attention to their needs as well.

Also all those soldier coming back who have no expectation due to wounds suffered of returning to full duty status could be trained for a position in the Veteran’s Affairs division should they desire it. I’m willing to bet that the non military experience and expertise of many of these National Guard men and women who find themselves in this predicament would translate over quite well.

Additionally we have many used military bases with facilities that are in far better shape than many VA facilities which could be turned into regional VA centers and paid for in the savings of shutting down the antiquated VA facilities and the saving of the upkeep and updating.

OK obviously this issue is one I identify with, has gotten me pissed off, worked up and caused me to digress from my point, which is that we CANNOT and SHOULD not allow and permit this disrespect and wanton denial of the principles this country was FOUNDED on to continue for a single nanosecond longer!

These people honored us with their service. They protected and defended us, our country, our way of life, and the beliefs our country espouses and embodies. At the VERY LEAST we can repay this by honoring them, their memories & sacrifices and seeing that they receive all the rights and privileges they are even more entitled to by virtue of having been willing to fight to defend them against their domestic enemies, the Left, the current Presidential Administration, Veteran’s Administration and Arleen Ocasio

 

Some will take,
And, some will give,
But to those that do,
I feel your pain,
For I know your place,
And if you don’t make it home when this war is done,
I promise you,
I will make everyone,
Remember the things you’ve done. – Unknown

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bibliography

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Independence_Day_%28United_States%29
http://usacitylink.com/usa/
http://www.history.com/topics/july-4th/photos#july-4th
http://www.history.com/topics/july-4th/photos#american-revolution-flags-and-fliers
http://usmilitary.about.com/od/joiningthemilitary/a/oathofenlist.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Uniformed_Services_Oath_of_Office
http://www.earlyamerica.com/earlyamerica/freedom/doi/text.html
http://blog.lot18.com/post/6824109131/sangria-ultimate-summer-party-drink-or-anarchy-in-a

What a day.  It’s going on noon and I’m still trying to get this issue out.  It’s a big one, and with today’s Last Word, a difficult one to finish up.  I’m sorry that it is late, but I hope it is well worth the wait.

Lethal compared our vehicles yesterday and, with the use of a couple of pictures….I’d like to show you our two wheeled transportation….

Mine:

and his:

‘Nuff said.  Now, let’s get on with the laughter!

Thanks Sue…

What is a calorie?

Calories are the little bastards that get into your wardrobe at

night and sew your clothes tighter…

MY CLOSET IS INFESTED WITH THE LITTLE SHITS.

Bill and his wife Susan went to the state fair every year, and every year Bill would say, “Susan, I’d like to ride in that helicopter.”

Susan always replied, “I know, Bill, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks,
And fifty bucks is fifty bucks!”

One year Bill and Susan went to the fair, and Bill said, “Susan, I’m 75 years old. If I don’t ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.”

To this, Susan replied, “Bill that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks.”

The pilot overheard the couple and said, “Folks I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don’t say a word I won’t charge you a penny!  But if you say one word it’s fifty dollars.”

Bill and Susan agreed and up they went.

The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard.
He did his daredevil tricks, but still not a word…
When they landed, the pilot turned to Bill and said, “By golly , I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn’t. I’m impressed! “

Bill replied, “Well, to tell you the truth I almost said something when Susan fell out, but you know, Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!”

Here’s another one from Sue….what’re you tryin’ to say, Sue?

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
I don’t want to brag or make anyone envious or anything, but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.
Can you believe it?

Today, you get a whole handful of groaners from Zack…

Q: What lies on the ground, 100 feet in the air?
A: A dead centipede.

Q: Did you hear the story about the peacock?
A: It’s a beautiful tail!

Q: Why didn’t the banana snore?
A: He didn’t want to wake up the rest of the bunch.

A young fashion designer was attending her first runway presentation in which her dresses were featured. The reviews from the industry were fantastic. Overnight, her line became a best seller. Stores couldn’t keep the items on the shelves. Celebrities started wearing them. She became so successful that a competitor was inspired to produce cheap copies of her designs to make a quick buck.

Furious about this, the designer called her lawyer and explained what was happening. The lawyer was equally furious, but he knew he could handle the situation.

“Don’t worry,” he assured the designer. “I’ll take care of him.”

“What will you do?” she asked him.

Replied the lawyer, “I’ll block his knock-off!”

Prostate Examination

After experiencing the discomfort and embarrassment of a prostate test on the

National Health Service, a guy decided to have his next test carried out while

visiting in San Francisco where the beautiful nurses are more gentle and

accommodating.

He lay naked on his side on the table, and the nurse began the examination.

“Don’t worry, at this stage of the procedure it’s quite normal to get an erection,

” said the nurse.

“I haven’t got an erection,” said the man.

“No, but I have.” replied the nurse.

Moral: Don’t have this procedure done in San Francisco!

Signs of the times…..or …. Did I read that right?

Here it is.  With a sign and everything and yet statistics show that only 33% of women ever find it.

For the life of me, I can’t imagine where in the world this sign must’ve been posted and why…

So, I suppose you’re going to have enter through the exit which probably has a sign that says “Exit Only Do Not Exit”.  Okay, makes sense to me.  Just checking to see how stoned people are. 

That’s gonna have to be one hell of an emergency.

Hmm, doesn’t really sound appealing at all.  Though maybe that’s the Colonel’s secret recipe.

That’s pretty much what I say most of the time.  Although, what if that’s the menu….

Pretty much what happens to a lot of people when they eat here.  Also explains their lack of customer service in a bunch of their units.

I’m wondering if this is where the clowns go to die.

Every man on earth has been in search of this place!

I’ve always wondered how the rabbits stay so docile all the time.

I know lots of work places where this sign would be appropriate, too.

No, no, you’re other right.

Why didn’t they have that when I was in school!

And Mr. Obvious award goes to…..

Here’s a great “I told you so” moment.  Remember the other day in my Last Word when I got the IRS email?  Well, today, in my weekly snopes email, there was this: Phishing Alert: E-mailed notice claims the IRS is unable to process the recipient’s tax return.  (hint: click on the underlined IRS to take you to the page)

This is why I have two screens at work and at home.

 

Our dear friend and fellow camper Lynn sent me a video clip of Liz Taylor on the old TV show “What’s My Line” and when I tried to imbed it here, it just didn’t work out, but man, are those things addictive!  I sat here for over an hour (so if DL is late today, it’s Lynn’s fault) and found this one that just cracked me up.  I encourage you, if you have some time to kill (after reading DL of course) that you go through youtube and watch some of these old “What’s My Line” shows.  In the meantime, here’s one of my all time favorite ladies in the whole world…..

Okay, this thing is freaky accurate!

If you haven’t seen this guy before, he’s well worth watching.  To see him live, you have to fly Southwest…

And here’s his interview

Okay folks, one of my favorite websites of all time has come up with a list of the 107 best websites on the web….Here is Makeuseof.com’s list: http://www.makeuseof.com/pages/best-websites#top This thing is well worth bookmarking a saving.

So, our last piece today before the Last Word is one, as someone living in rural America, that scares the hell out of me.  What do you think?

President Obama Executive Order 13575 Rural Councils

On June 9, 2011, President Obama issued a sweeping executive order for a White House Rural Council that purports to exert broad municpal powers over the food, fiber, and energy production of Rural American. Where’s the Line, America to how much power the president can amass by executive order?

As many of you know, Breast Cancer Awareness is a particular “hot-button” for me.  I’m not sure why really…I’ve only known one dear friend with breast cancer and although it was rough and scary, she’s fine.  I guess I just think that it’s a horribly unfair and ugly disease.  And of all the cancers it is second only to lung cancer in taking women’s lives.  

I had no idea how close this particular disease would touch my own life, but it did so, in a strange and unusual way just this Thursday past.

Breast cancer is the most common cancer among American women, except for skin cancers.  The chance of developing invasive breast cancer at some time in a woman’s life is a little less than 1 in 8 (12%). 

Conversely, breast cancer is about 100 times less common among men than among women.  For men, the lifetime risk of getting breast cancer is about 1 in 1,000 (0.1%).  The number of breast cancer cases in men relative to the population has been fairly stable over the last 30 years.  But on Thursday, I was pretty sure I had rolled craps three times in a row with the dice.

A month or so ago I had a sore spot on the right side of my chest and when I pushed on it, there was a lump under the skin.  Now, I’ve had lumps under my skin before and the very worst one ended up being a lymph node that had come loose and slid down my arm to my triceps area and had to be surgically removed.  No big deal and I was fairly convinced that this was not going to be any different. 

Strangely, Mrs. Dragon had just had her first ever mammogram, after dragging her feet for several years, and we had just had a tiny scare with a dark spot on her film that turned out to be nothing.  And maybe that was in the back of my mind when I found this lump, about the size of a pea, under my skin. 

Now, I say it was on the right side of my chest because men don’t say breast because men don’t have breasts, women do. But, in all honesty, we DO have breasts, granted significantly different (and nowhere near as appealing) as women’s but breasts just the same.  So, this lump was on the outside of my right breast about 3 inches past my nipple.  When I was last at the doctor, Mrs. Dragon brought it up and the doctor (female) performed a breast exam on me and easily found the lump.

I’ve been in the doctor’s office before while the doctor has performed a breast exam on my wife and although I found it ever so slightly juvenilely titillating (if you’ll pardon the pun) to watch, when you become one of the participants, there ain’t a damn thing exciting about it at all.  In fact, when I saw that look of concern slide across her eyes when she found the lump, even though she tried to hide it real fast, it scared the ever-living-hell out of me!

So she says it’s probably nothing, but let’s get an ultrasound just to be sure.

Doing some research, I find that about 2,140 new cases of invasive breast cancer will be diagnosed among men in 2011.  And of those diagnosed 450 MEN will die from breast cancer this year. More than 1 in 5 men diagnosed die.

Yeah, but the odds are still WAY in my favor that it is nothing.

Now, we’re up to Thursday and I go through the ultrasound and I can hear the lady doing all kinds of clicking and moving of this computer and although she’s nice enough, she tells me that she can’t tell me anything about what she sees and I’ll have to wait for the doctor to take a look.  Great, I’m thinking.  More waiting.

“If you’ll wait right here, I’ll go show these to the doctor and get right back to you.” she says.  “Try and relax.” And there’s that damn look of concern in her eyes and something new…sadness?

Those odds are looking worse and worse the whole time. 

The doctor comes in and says, “Show me this lump.” And as his fingers slide across the skin, I can tell that he’s done this more than once, but I’m not sure it’s ever been on a man before.  He then takes the ultrasound wand and slides it around and looks and with a lot of hmmms and hummms he finally turns to me and says, “There’s something there, but we’re not getting a good look at it with the ultrasound.  I’m going to send you over for a mammogram (WHAT!!!!) and we’ll figure out what it is and whatever the result,” and here he puts his hand on my shoulder, “we’ll work it out together and decide what is the best path to take.”

Let me tell you what.  I climbed on that table a great big strong and confident man and climbed off a scared little boy.  I meekly followed the technician over to the Women’s Wellness Clinic and she asked me to sit in the waiting room.  Thank Goodness it was late in the afternoon and there was no one else there.  I’m not sure I could’ve taken it if I had to sit down in a room full of women.  At least if my wife was there I could’ve pretended we were there because of her. 

I was still thinking of those odds and the fact that no one had come out and said that I had cancer or even that I had anything to worry about and I clung to that thought like a drowning man clings to a board in the middle of the ocean.  When the next technician came in and called my name I bet I jumped 3 feet into the air. 

She took me in this room with this really odd looking device and asked me to take my shirt off.  While I’m doing that she takes this sticky paper with little pink bows and butterflies on it and puts it on the bottom tray of the machine.

“Pink?” I said.  “Nothing in blue?” 

She smiled and said sorry, but I couldn’t care less if she thought it was funny, I was trying to make myself relax by cracking lame jokes.  She wants to know where the spot is and puts this little sticky ball bearing on the spot, “So it will show up on the x-rays.” She says. 

She positions me on the machine and I have to tell you, I feel like I’m just a puny little thing because of how incredibly humbling this experience is.  She moves the paddles down and scrunches the fatty part of my right chest (breast) and I thought, that’s not so bad.

But she was just getting me in position, she steps on this peddle and the upper paddle comes down and crushes my breast in between the jaws of death! 

“Don’t breathe!” she says. 

Breathe, hell!  I’m trying not to scream. 

Okay, so I’m exaggerating quite a bit here.  It wasn’t really painful, what it was, was humiliating and, thinking about it, I really didn’t know why.  She took a total of 3 pictures, one of which was of my left breast for comparison.  Then she told me to wait why she went to show the pictures to the doctor.

During the seemingly 3 hours that I waited for the doctor, which I’m sure was more like 10 minutes, I did a lot of thinking.  I had a brand new appreciation of what women went through and how they must feel while they sit there and wait for the results of this test.  It’s humiliating because a part of your body, that, for women at least, is supposed to be sexy and, at it’s core, a thing of nourishment for a new born baby is treated as a chunk of meat as it’s mauled and squished looking for an evil that might turn around and kill you.  Everybody I dealt with was professional and caring and just as nice as can be. 

But to give you an idea, one of the questions was, “Do you have a history of breast or ovarian cancer?”

As a guy, have someone ask you that question with an absolute straight face and see if it doesn’t throw you for a loop.

The technician came back in the room and held the door open and said, “Everything’s fine, you can go.  Doctor says it’s nothing, but keep an eye on it and if it changes shape or anything to tell your doctor.”

And that was it.  I won’t say that I jumped for joy or felt like I had a huge weight lifted off my shoulders or anything because I didn’t.  I felt more like the guy who steps off the curb without really looking and has a taxi come to a screeching halt, inches away from you with the horn blaring. 

Scared still, but relieved.

I’ve always had the greatest respect for women and the things that they have to go through because of their bodies, everything from monthly periods and having babies to indoor plumbing and mammograms. 

I salute you ladies and respect your bravery for having to go through something so scary every couple of years.  Bless you.  But do it!  Make sure you have the checks, when you should.  Check yourself.  Have your mate check you.  Don’t let the bastard breast cancer win.  I feel honored to have visited your world for just a short time.

Yup it’s F-R=I-D-A-Y! Not just another Friday mind you it’s the Friday before a 3 day weekend, the second one of the summer as well as the next to the last one! My advice- plan your time wisely and if you can as with any 3 day holiday weekend, leave early today!

Sit DOWN Impish! You’re barely even here and you want to leave early? That’s funny!

Anyway just to reassure you, our hardworking (well MOST of us are hardworking anyway) staff is hard at work on our Independence Day Issue so don’t worry about suffering withdrawal ‘cuase we might take a holiday.

Look for it on Monday as usual.

MEAN TIME LET’S HAVE US A FEW LAUGHS!

I wish MY grocery store stocked this item!

At a little over $10.00 a pound, the price is right too! I’m just worried about the percent of fat to lean in it!

ANNUAL MOUSE CALIBRATION

You should actually do this every year. Even more often if you spend a lot of time on the computer. This is recommended by Kim Komando (the computer guru) in one of her recent emails.

I was shocked to see how well this works, and how far off mine was!

To re-calibrate your mouse, click and hold on the capital G below, then drag it toward the small g. If it doesn’t work immediately, you might want to clean your mouse, as the calibration is off.

Good lord!! You’ll believe anything

I’M SURE YOU WILL ALSO RECOMMEND THIS TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS ONCE YOU SEE HOW MUCH SMOOTHER AND BETTER THE MOUSE WORKS AFTER BEING CALIBRATED! AMAZING!

That was one of the few times Impish actually had sage words of advice to pass on to me!

An American sailor on liberty visits one of those Japanese bath houses and pays for the deluxe treatment. So three bath maids start working him over.

First they dunk him in the hot water and lather him up good, then dunk him in the cold water and back in the hot water. They cleaned out his toenails and scrubbed his knees, elbows and behind his ears. Then again in the cold then hot tubs.

He was feeling totally cleaned and refreshed when one maid asks, “Ah sooo, you want the wax job?”

The sailor says, “Well I want everything I’m supposed to get since I paid for the deluxe.”

So the bath maid takes his pecker and lays it out on a marble bench. She then raises her right hand and with a ‘Hi Yahhh’ she karate chops his pecker… causing wax to shoot out both of his ears.

A while back some one wrote in and asked about Impish and my own offices and what they looked like. As we were constantly making reference to our virtual ones, they we’re interested in what our real ones looked like and if they reflected our personalities. I responded by posting pictures of both our home offices for our loyal readers to view.

This sort of thing has occurred once again, but this time they the inquiring mind wants to know about our personal vehicles. Again from what I can see they are interested in seeing if our personal vehicles reflect our individual personalities.

Impish and I STRONGLY suspect this has to do with some still long lingering doubt by some stubborn hold outs that we are in fact one in the same person which we have stated as untrue multiple times in the past. Many of our more devoted readers will remember when my contributions began slowly appearing in the e-zine version and how I worked myself into a partnership offer nearly 2 years ago now I guess when Impish had to attend a workshop for a week by temporarily filling in for him and throwing an epic but unauthorized party at his place.

Anyway with out further reminiscing I present my whip:

Along with the cowcatcher style brush guard up front she’s a bit of an intimidator when you come up against her in traffic, something that’s positively mandatory here in Houston’s insane traffic. The 5.56 mm mini-gun in the bed is for those idiots who want to try challenging the time honored “the most metal goes first and gets the right of way” rule of the road. It also insures that time honored rule translates easily into Spanish, Esperanto, Arabic and the language of basically every damned illegal “screw-you-I-won’t-learn-English-give-me-my-entitlement” minded immigrant that is on the road sans benefit  license and insurance to be so.

Impish being a family man however had need for a different sort of more family friendly transportation but still desired to reflect his personality and tastes at the same time. So I present now to you Impish’s ride. I give you “The Dragon Wagon”

Kinda suits Impish don’t ya think?

A recent bride called her mother one evening in tears.

“Oh, Mom, I tried to make Grandmother’s meatloaf for dinner tonight and it’s just awful! I followed the recipe exactly and I know I have the recipe right, because it’s the one you gave me. But, it just didn’t come out right and I’m so upset. I wanted this to be so special for George, because he loves meat loaf. What could have gone wrong”?

Her mother replied soothingly, “Well, dear, let’s go through the recipe. You read it out loud and tell me exactly what you did at each step and together we’ll figure it out.”

“Okay,” the bride sniffled. “Well, it starts out, ‘Take fifty cents worth of ground beef.'”

The Muslims ARE NOT HAPPY

They are not happy in Gaza.
They are not happy in the West Bank.
They are not happy in Jerusalem.
They are not happy in Israel.
They are not happy in Egypt.
They are not happy in Libya.
They are not happy in Algeria.
They are not happy in Tunis.
They are not happy in Morocco.
They are not happy in Yemen.
They are not happy in Iraq.
They are not happy in Afghanistan.
They are not happy in Pakistan.
They are not happy in Syria.
They are not happy in in Lebanon.
They are not happy in Sudan.
They are not happy in Jordan.
They are not happy in Iran.
They are not happy in the Chechnya.

Where The Are Happy Muslims

They are happy in England.
They are happy in France.
They are happy in Italy.
They are happy in Germany.
They are happy in Sweden.
They are happy in the Netherlands.
They are happy in Switzerland
They are happy in Norway.
They are happy in the U.S.
They are happy in Canada
They are happy in Hungary.

They are happy in any country in the world which is not ruled by Muslims.

And who do they blame?

 

 

Not Islam.  Not themselves.

But the very countries they are happy to live in!

Really gives ya something to think about don’t it?! Now exactly WHO really is “The Great Satan”?

 

Unfortunately I can’t get Impish within 100 feet of a treadmill. The last time he traveled he encountered escalators and a “People Mover” at the airport and now he wants them installed at DragonLaffs Central. Now granted, there are a couple of levels where the escalators WOULD be faster than our elevators, but Impish wants a “People Mover” from his office door to the cafeteria and that’s only 200 feet from the special door he had installed in his office to shorten up the distance as much as possible in the first place!

Did you ever wonder how old some of your favorite cartoon characters were? Well, here are their real ages. They may surprise you. Part II

Look for the final installment of Ever Wonder How Old Your Favorite Cartoon Character is in Wednesday July 6th issue of Leprechaun Laffs as Monday’s issue will be devoted to Independence Day.

OK I have to confess an ugly truth here, I’m not even the slightest fan of today’s guest ranter. While his music isn’t bad and it’s nothing I object to, I just  find his proselytizing distasteful and smacking of televangelism and given some of the things covered in the tabloids in the past reeking of hypocrisy. I have to admit though when I read this commentary by him my estimation of him DID go up slightly.

When you have read what Pat Boone wrote about Obama (below), you may want to click on the link to “Snopes”, which brings up a page telling you that this is an actual letter written by Pat Boone – and very well written one, I might add.

THIS IS AN EXCELLENT COMMENTARY, AND SHOULD BE READ BY EVERY AMERICAN ESPECIALLY THE VOTING ONES OF BOTH PARTIES !

“The President Without A Country”

By Pat Boone

“We’re no longer a Christian nation.” – President Barack Obama, June 2009
“America has been arrogant.” – President Barack Obama
“After 9/11, America didn’t always live up to her ideals.”- President Barack Obama
“You might say that America is a Muslim nation.”- President Barack Obama, Egypt 2009

Thinking about these and other statements made by the man who wears the title of president. I keep wondering what country he believes he’s president of.
In one of my very favorite stories, Edward Everett Hale’s “The Man without a Country,” a young Army lieutenant named Philip Nolan stands condemned for treason during the Revolutionary War, having come under the influence of Aaron Burr. When the judge asks him if he wishes to say anything before sentence is passed, young Nolan defiantly exclaims, “Damn the United States! I wish I might never hear of the United States again!”

The stunned silence in the courtroom is palpable, pulsing. After a long pause, the judge soberly says to the angry lieutenant: “You have just pronounced your own sentence. You will never hear of the United States again.. I sentence you to spend the rest of your life at sea, on one or another of this country’s naval vessels – under strict orders that no one will ever speak to you again about the country you have just cursed.”

And so it was. Philip Nolan was taken away and spent the next 40 years at sea, never hearing anything but an occasional slip of the tongue about America.. The last few pages of the story, recounting Nolan’s dying hours in his small stateroom – now turned into a shrine to the country he foreswore – never fail to bring me to tears. And I find my own love for this dream, this miracle called America , refreshed and renewed. I know how blessed and unique we are.

But reading and hearing the audacious, shocking statements of the man who was recently elected our president – a young black man living the impossible dream of millions of young Americans, past and present, black and white – I want to ask him, “Just what country do you think you’re president of?”

You surely can’t be referring to the United States of America, can you? America is emphatically a Christian nation, and has been from its inception! Seventy percent of her citizens identify themselves as Christian. The Declaration of Independence and our Constitution were framed, written and ratified by Christians. It’s because this was, and is, a nation built on and guided by Judeo-Christian biblical principles that you, sir, have had the inestimable privilege of being elected her president.

You studied law at Harvard, didn’t you, sir? You taught constitutional law in Chicago ? Did you not ever read the statement of John Jay, the first Chief Justice of the Supreme Court and an author of the landmark “Federalist Papers”: ” Providence has given to our people the choice of their rulers – and it is the duty, as well as the privilege and interest of our Christian nation – to select and prefer Christians for their rulers”?

In your studies, you surely must have read the decision of the Supreme Court in 1892: “Our lives and our institutions must necessarily be based upon and embody the teachings of the Redeemer of mankind. It is impossible that it should be otherwise; and in this sense and to this extent our civilization and our institutions are emphatically Christian.”
Did your professors have you skip over all the high-court decisions right up till the mid 1900’s that echoed and reinforced these views and intentions? Did you pick up the history of American jurisprudence only in 1947, when for the first time a phrase coined by Thomas Jefferson about a “wall of separation between church and state” was used to deny some specific religious expression – contrary to Jefferson’s intent with that statement?

Or, wait a minute: were your ideas about America’s Christianity formed during the 20 years you were a member of the Trinity United Church of Christ under your pastor, Jeremiah Wright? Is that where you got the idea that “America is no longer a Christian nation”? Is this where you, even as you came to call yourself a Christian, formed the belief that “America has been arrogant”?

Even if that’s the understandable explanation of your damning of your country and accusing the whole nation (not just a few military officials trying their best to keep more Americans from being murdered by jihadists) of “not always living up to her ideals,” how did you come up with the ridiculous, alarming notion that we might be “considered a Muslim nation”?

Is it because there are some 2 million or more Muslims living here, trying to be good Americans? Out of a current population of over 300 million, 70 percent of whom are Christians? Does that make us, by any rational definition, a “Muslim nation”?
Why are we not, then, a “Chinese nation”? A “Korean nation”? Even a “Vietnamese nation”? There are even more of these distinct groups in America than Muslims. And if the distinction you’re trying to make is a religious one, why is America not “a Jewish nation”?

There’s actually a case to be made for the latter, because our Constitution – and the success of our Revolution and founding – owe a deep debt to our Jewish brothers.
Have you stopped to think what an actual Muslim America would be like? Have you ever really spent much time in Iran ? Even in Egypt ? You, having been instructed in Islam as a kid at a Muslim school in Indonesia and saying you still love the call to evening prayers, can surely picture our nation founded on the Quran, not the Judeo-Christian Bible, and living under Sharia law. Can’t you? You do recall Muhammad’s directives

[Surah 9:5,73] to “break the cross” and “kill the infidel”?

It seems increasingly and painfully obvious that you are more influenced by your upbringing and questionable education than most suspected. If you consider yourself the president of a people who are “no longer Christian,” who have “failed to live up to our ideals,” who “have been arrogant,” and might even be “considered Muslim” – you are president of a country most Americans don’t recognize.

Could it be you are a president without a country?

http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/patboone.asp

My thanks to K-Squared for unknowingly supplying the whip cream and cherry for the top of this Sundae and here it is:

Now remember all you Loony Liberals, Devoted Democrats and Obtuse Obamites, we welcome your dissenting view points but come back at us with facts not fiction and be sure to cite sources lest scorn and ridicule shall ye reap!

See ya Monday folks, enjoy your holiday weekend. Eat Drink and make Merry, but only to excess. Last remember if you DO drink regardless if its to excess or not Please Don’t Drive! See you bright and early Monday morning!

Good Morning Campers!
Getting close to the weekend, again.  I can’t wait!  Got big plans for this weekend, big plans!  We have two, count them!, two villages to raze!  There is going to be a special party with 17 sacrificial virgins and lastly, there’s going to be a medieval jousting tournament where I get to eat the losers!  Can you even imagine a better weekend?
Well, let’s jump right into today’s issue.  Lots of ground to cover.  So grab your coffee and

A wife says to her husband you’re always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You’re in a wheel chair.

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, “You’re obviously not listening. “

Well worth watching….thanks Dad!
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=gQD9IaGoLWk

Absolutely Hilarious!  The Drunk Chef!  Yeah, no kidding.  And she’s cute, too! 
http://www.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,2079263,00.html?xid=newsletter-weekly

This morning I went to sign my dogs up for welfare.
At first the lady said,”Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare.” So I explained to her that my dogs are mixed in color, unemployed, lazy, can’t speak English and have no clue who their daddies are.
They expect me to feed them, provide them with housing and medical care.
So she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify.
My dogs get their first checks Friday.
Wow, this is a great country.

And with this entry, my dad becomes the next member of the groaner club.  Congratulations dad….

Molly (not Lethal’s Molly, another Molly) sent us this one and said that it would be great for us guys when we are dog-house bound.  You know, I have to agree with her.  It beats the heck out of the little shed that I normally get stuck in.  Here they are, tents that turn into concrete shelters:

I want to know what they cost? Also, where does one get them?

These would be neat for people that lost their homes. I’m sure they would be cooler than a trailer and warmer too. Great for hospitals for our military.

Tents that turn into concrete in less than 24 hours.

http://www.wimp.com/concretetents/

This one is submitted by one of our overseas correspondent campers and she tells us that they are “all true, these things are what make life tolerable here!”

Israel is a country surrounded on all sides by enemies, but the people’s headaches are caused by the neighbors upstairs.

Israel is  a country where the same drivers who cuss you and flip you the bird will  immediately pull over and offer you all forms of help if you look like you need it.

Israel is the only country in the world with bus drivers and taxi drivers who read Spinoza and Maimonides.

Israel is the only country in the world where no one cares what rules say  when an important goal can be achieved by bending them.

Israel is the only country in the world where reservists are bossed around  and commanded by officers, male and female, younger than their own children.

Israel is the only country in the world where “small talk” consists of loud, angry debate over politics and religion.

Israel is the only country in the world where the coffee is already so good that Starbucks went bankrupt trying to break into the local market.

Israel is one of the few places in the world where the sun sets into the Mediterranean Sea .

Israel is the only country in the world whose soldiers eat three sets of  salads a day, none of which contain any lettuce (which is not really a food), and where olives ARE a food and even a main course in a meal, rather than something one tosses into a martini.

Israel  is the only country in the world where one is unlikely to dig a cellar without hitting ancient archaeological artifacts. which we did in an archeological dig

Israel  is the only country in the world where the leading writers in the country  take buses.

Israel is the only country in the world where the graffiti is in Hebrew.

Israel is the only country in  the world where the “black folks” walking around all wear yarmulkes.

Israel is the only country in the world that  has a National Book Week, during which almost everyone attends a book fair and buys books.

Israel is the only country in the world where the ultra-Orthodox Jews beat up the police and not the other way around.

Israel is the only country in the world  where inviting someone “out for a drink” means drinking cola, coffee or tea.

Israel is the only country in the world where bank robbers kiss the mezuzah as they leave with their loot.

Israel is one of the few countries in the world that truly likes and admires the United States .

Israel is the only country in  the world that introduces applications of high-tech gadgets and devices, such as printers in banks that print out your statement on demand, years ahead of the United States and decades ahead of   Europe .

Israel is the only country in the world where everyone on a flight gets to know one another before the plane lands. In  many cases, they also get to know the pilot and all about his health or marital problems.

Israel is the only country in the world  where no one has a foreign accent because everyone has a foreign accent.

Israel is the only country in the world where people cuss using dirty words in Russian or Arabic because Hebrew has never developed them.

Israel is the only country in the world where patients visiting physicians end up giving the doctor  advice.

Israel is the only country in the world where everyone strikes up conversations while waiting in lines.

Israel is the only country in the world where people call an attaché case  a “James Bond” and the “@” sign is called a “strudel”.

Israel is the only country in the world where there is the most mysterious  and mystical calm ambience in the streets on Yom Kippur, which cannot be explained unless you have experienced it.

Sunsets in  Jerusalem are gorgeous every evening.

Israel is the only  country in the world where people read English, write Hebrew, and joke in Yiddish.

This one is from Thumper….you guys remember Thumper?  Haven’t heard from him forever, Thumper, if you’re out there, stop in the camp store and say hi!  Anyway, like I said, this one is from Thumper, I have a huge pile of old emails that I just recently got unstuck from my old Outlook Express account.  Most of these are dated material (this one is from February of 2010 so I won’t use them, but I’ll work my way through the rest and resurrect some funny ones.

HEY LITTLE GIRL, WANT TO GO FOR A RIDE?
A Little 10-year-old girl was walking home, alone, from school one day, when a big man on a black motorcycle pulls up beside her. After following along for a while, turns to her and asks, “Hey there little girl, do you want to go for a ride?”

“NO!” says the little girl as she keeps on walking.

The motorcyclist again pulls up beside her and asks,  “Hey little girl, I will give you $10 if you hop on the back.”

“NO!” says the little girl as she hurries down the street.

The motorcyclist pulls up beside the little girl again and says, “Okay kid, my last offer! I’ll give you 20 Bucks “and” a Big Bag of Candy if you will just hop on the back of my bike and we will go for a ride.”

Finally, the little girl stops and turns towards him and Screams Out…
“Look Dad, you’re the one who bought the Yamaha instead of the Harley”!
                                     “YOU RIDE IT!”

 

Lady, you’ve got the worst case of head-lice I’ve ever seen!