Afternoon readers, Lethal Leprechaun here!

Occasionally something of import happens after we go to blog which we would have ordinarily included in an issue. Such is the case today. We have been following this story periodically since our Memorial Day Special Issue with periodic updates. Here is the next installment in the saga of the V.A. disrespecting Veterans and the families of deceased Veterans

Judge signs off on Houston National Cemetery settlement

By LINDSAY WISE, HOUSTON CHRONICLE Updated 10:37 a.m., Thursday, October 20, 2011

• 

  American Legion member Willie Beck discusses the federal lawsuit against the Houston National Cemetery and the VA.

  A federal judge Wednesday authorized the settlement of a lawsuit over allegations of religious censorship at Houston National Cemetery.

  Local veterans and volunteer groups had accused VA and cemetery officials of banning them from using religious speech – including the words Jesus and God – during services at the cemetery.

  The parties reached agreement in the case through mediation last month, and Judge Lynn Hughes signed his consent Wednesday.

  “This agreement preserves VA policy that families’ wishes are paramount when their loved ones – our nation’s heroes – are laid to rest,” Steve Muro, VA’s undersecretary for memorial affairs, said in a statement. “This agreement respects the important principle that the family’s wishes for religious observances at the committal services must be honored, which VA has fought to protect from day one.”

  Under the settlement, VA agrees “not to ban, regulate or otherwise interfere with prayers, recitations, or words of religious expression absent family objection” and to let veterans’ families hold services with any religious or secular content they desire.

  VA also agrees not to edit or control private religious speech by speakers at VA-sponsored ceremonies or events and pledges to return a Bible, cross and Star of David to the cemetery’s chapel, which must remain open and not be used for storage or referred to as a “meeting facility.”

  The Bible, cross and star will be placed “on an open shelf within, but to the side of, the chapel, where they would be accessible and available for use by families,” the documents state.

  Local members of Veterans of Foreign Wars District 4 and Houston National Memorial Ladies will resign their positions as official VA volunteers. As private citizens, they will then be free to provide their own texts of recitations to funeral homes so that veterans’ families can decide if they would like these groups to provide any services at the cemetery.

  Protesters had called for the VA to fire Houston cemetery director Arleen Ocasio. The agreement does not address her status, however, and VA officials said her future is an internal matter.

Personally I expect her remaining tenure in that post to be just long enough to escape notice by the media and therefore embarrass the V.A. even further. There are rumors that if the V.A. fails to remove her that “Pain & Suffer” tortes will be lodged against both the V.A. and her by members of some of the families whom her actions disrespected and traumatized during their bereavements. I would expect hat the V.A. sporting one fresh shiner over this would be loathe to put their chin out there for a second shot at it. Especially with the specter of further rulings not in their favor regarding their conduct at V.A. Cemeteries

As far as Arleen goes, I’m sure with her sensitivity, tolerance toward religion and rabid liberal attitude Obama can get here a job with some Muslim outreach center as a spokesperson for how friendly and tolerant towel heads are.

 

Specifically for Political Hacks such as John McCain who recently said he wants to reduce Veterans Health benefits and Governmental Administrative Weenies like Steve Muro & Arleen Ocasio who would seek to disrespect our memories and legacies.

After tasting combat and facing enemy fire doing our duty according to our oath:

I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter. So help me God

if you think to mistreat us, disrespect us and call us terrorists for continuing to exercise that oath after ceasing active duty and expecting our elected officials do the same, you are gravely mistaken. WE VETERNS ARE A BAND OF BROTHERS, Squid, jarhead, dog face, Coasty or Fly~ fly Guy, it matters not. That bond was forged on the anvil of battle tempered in enemy fire, quenched in the blood of our wounded and the battlefield tears of our sorrow. IT CANNOT BE BROKEN EVER!

That disrespect, slight or disservice you do to the least of us you do to us ALL. Our numbers are legion, our memories long and our patriotism, was well as our belief in God  and Country runs to the bone. We WILL come for you to redress these grievances,  in perfect lock step heads held high and proud. We will come for you on your own turf, battle you with your own weapons and we WILL defeat and humiliate you publically. Should you fail to heed this graphic warning I SWEAR BY THE ALMIGHTY & ETERNAL you WILL fear the sound of our marching feet when we come for you our voices uplifted in The Star Spangled Banner!

God Bless the TRUE America and the REAL Americans!

SEMPER FI My Fellow Vets!

Leprechaun Out.

 

Well we’re supposedly finally getting some fall temps for a day or two. From a high of 90 on Monday we plummeting to the low 70’s on Tuesday and saw an over night Tuesday right around 50. As you read this early Wednesday morning its likely I am enjoying my cozy rack under a nice new blanket Molly bought me, in the company of two hibernating and burrowed cats, (possibly with a liter vacuum flask of coffee) and my lap top until the electronic thermometer on the nightstand reads a sane and comfortable number.

Now someone be kind enough to pass me the hot buttered scones and lets get to it shall we? I think I feel a pre~breakfast dragon type nap coming on!

 

The Truth About Coffee- Part 1 of 3

Coffee is big business. So to make sure a product stands out on a crowded shelf, java manufacturers have created a new wave of label claims, such as “shade grown” and “100% Arabica Beans.” Some of these promises are meaningful, but plenty are meaningless and will only waste your money. To spot the difference and firmly establish yourself as a coffee connoisseur, read ahead for The Truth About Coffee- Part 1 of our 3 Part series.

The Claim: “100% Arabica Beans”

Coffee beans come in two main varieties: arabica and robusta. Of the two, arabica beans deliver the most complex flavors, but because they’re more difficult to grow—i.e. more expensive—commercial roasters such as Folgers often fill out their blends with cheap robusta beans. That makes for a cup with big body but low acid, which means it’s heavy in the mouth but not particularly interesting to the tongue. Small-scale craft roasters don’t generally bother putting this information on the bag, but that’s fine considering most of them wouldn’t dare to pollute their coffee with robustas. But when you’re shopping the commercial blends in the supermarket, you should seek this claim.

The Claim: “Morning Blend”

A blend is simply a mix of beans from at least two different regions, and a “morning blend” is whatever that particular roasters thought you might enjoy at the start of the day. In contrast with blends are the single-origin coffees, which are identified simply by their place of birth: Brazil, Columbia, Ethiopia, or whatever the case may be. Presumably the goal with blending is to create a better-tasting cup, but often that’s not the case. Some roasters blend to bury the mistakes of flawed beans, and many connoisseurs find the pure flavors of single-origin coffee more satisfying than blends. And get this: When Consumer Reports recently rated 37 popular blends from places such as Starbucks, Peets, Caribou, and Green Mountain Coffee Roasters, not one of them was considered good enough to earn the top scores of “excellent” or “very good.”

 

It’s Big in Texas

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas.
As he arrived on the plane, he mentioned to the flight attendant that
it had been a very comfortable flight. “Wow, these seats are big!” he
told her.

She replied, “Everything is big in Texas.”
Once he had settled into his hotel room, he decided to go downstairs
to the bar. He ordered a beer and had a mug placed between his hands.
He exclaimed, “Wow these mugs are big!

The bartender replied, “Everything is big in Texas.”

After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the
bathroom was located. The bartender replied, “Second door to the
right.” The blind man headed for the bathroom, but missed the second
door and instead went out a third door that lead to the swimming pool,
which he fell into.

As he came up for air, you could hear him cry out, “Don’t flush, don’t flush!”

 

A sweet young thing took her seat on opening day of her college class. The young man behind her tapped her on the shoulder and said, “What are you doing, wearing a football jersey?”
She replied, “Why, I bought it and own it, why shouldn’t I wear it?”
He said, “You’re not supposed to wear it unless you’ve made the team.”
“Oh,” she replied sweetly, “Who did I miss?

Apparently there is an up side to the economy getting worse, at least on a personal level for some few like Impish who recently remarked to me that his wife has started having sex with him again because she can’t afford batteries any more!

Don’t Say You Weren’t Warned!

French Condom Ad

Only the French could get away with this!

 

Impish was suffering from a stomachache, so he told his wife who suggested he try the tablets the Doctor had given her for a similar pain. After taking his wife’s tablets for a week, the pain disappeared but he developed two rather tender lumps, one behind each ear.Impish went to his doctor, showed him the lumps, and explained what had happened.
Whereby the Doctor called him all the fools under the sun, saying, “You bloody idiot! I was treating your wife for a fallen womb. God knows how I’m going to get your balls back down.”

 

A Real-life Hobbit House In the Hills of Montana

This man made hobbit house was built by LOTR enthusiast Steve Michaels and his wife Christine. It cost over $410,000 to make this house in the hills. However, unlike the simple homes featured in J.R.R. Tolkien’s novels, the Hobbit House of Montana comes with a modern king-size bedroom, a great kitchen with customized granite counters, HD Blu-Ray television set, XM Radio, three phones and WiFi. . And if you want to vacation there it is a bit pricey at $245 a night.

 

And in case you think I’m pulling your leg about this here it the web site for the actual house where you can see more pictures .

http://www.hobbithouseofmontana.com/

 

 

Soups

Well its finally starting to cool off even here in Texas and that means my Crockpot starts seeing even more use and my Soups & Stews Recipes get dragged out of the back of the recipe box. Thought I’d share a few.

Southwest Shrimp Stew

Prep Time: 15 mins
Cook Time: 27 mins
Serves: 8

Peppers, corn, and other favorite vegetables create a riot of color in this Tex-Mex-seasoned stew. It’s company-friendly but easy enough for every day.

Ingredients

1 potato, peeled and cubed
2 cups chicken broth
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 scallions, thinly sliced
1 small red bell pepper, chopped
1 small green bell pepper, chopped
2 cups frozen corn, thawed
1 teaspoon cumin seeds
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 cups milk
3/4 pound small shrimp, peeled and deveined
dash of ground red pepper
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro leaves

Directions

    Cook the potato in water in a medium covered saucepan for 15 minutes, or until tender. Drain. Add 1 cup of the broth. Mash with a fork, potato masher, or hand-held immersion blender until free of lumps.
    Heat the oil in a large saucepan over medium-high heat. Add the scallions and bell peppers. Cook, stirring frequently, for 5 minutes, or until the vegetables are soft.
    Add corn, cumin seeds, salt, potato mixture, and remaining 1 cup broth. Bring to a boil. Reduce the heat to low, cover, and simmer for 5 minutes. Add the milk and return to a simmer. Add the shrimp and simmer, stirring occasionally, for 1 to 2 minutes, or until opaque. Stir in the ground red pepper and cilantro.

 

Ham and Potato Chowder

Prep Time: 15 mins
Cook Time: 31 mins
Serves: 6

In less than 30 minutes, you can cook up a pot of creamy and comforting potato and ham chowder. Serve with a crisp salad, for a simple satisfying supper.

Ingredients

1 tablespoon olive oil
2 onions, chopped
2 tablespoons unbleached all-purpose flour
3 cups chicken broth
2 cups water
4 large potatoes, peeled and cubed
1 teaspoon dried marjoram
1 teaspoon mustard powder
1/4 teaspoon dill
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 2/3 cups milk
1/2 pound fully cooked lean ham, cut into 3/4″ pieces
6 scallions, sliced

Directions

    Heat the oil in a large saucepan. Add the onions and cook, stirring occasionally, for 5 minutes, or until translucent. Stir in the flour and cook for 1 minute. Gradually stir in the broth until well blended.
    Add the water, potatoes, marjoram, mustard, curry, celery seeds, and pepper. Bring to a boil. Reduce the heat to low, cover, and simmer for 20 minutes, or until the potatoes are tender. Working in batches, transfer the vegetables to a blender or food processor and process until pureed. Return to the saucepan.
    Stir in the milk, ham, and scallions. Gently simmer, stirring occasionally, for 5 minutes.

I often substitute a leek for the 6 scallions using the white and lighter green portions quartered and sliced

Quick Hoppin’ John Soup

This is a great recipe for the holidays (New Year’s) or any time during winter months. So quick to prepare you can throw it together after a long day at work for the whole family to enjoy!

Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 25 minutes
Ready In: 35 minutes
Yield: 8 servings

Ingredients:

1 pound sage pork sausage
1 (6 ounce) package uncooked long grain and wild rice mix, with seasoning packet
2 (15 ounce) cans black-eyed peas, drained & rinsed
2 (14.5 ounce) cans diced tomatoes, with liquid
2 (14 ounce) cans chicken broth
2 cups water
salt to taste

Directions:

Crumble sausage into a skillet over medium heat and cook until evenly brown. In a large pot, mix the cooked sausage, rice mix with seasoning packet, black-eyed peas, tomatoes, broth and water. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low, cover and simmer 20 minutes, or until rice is tender. Season to taste with salt and hot sauce if desired.

Draining and quick rinsing canned beans can reduce unwanted sodium by as much as 40% according to some sources

 

A reporter goes to a mental institution to do a story. He’s walking around when he sees a man swinging a baseball bat. He walks up to him and asks, “Buddy, What the heck are you doing?”
The man replies, “I’m Babe Ruth. One more home run and I’m outta’ here.”
The reporter just nods and walks on. He sees another guy swinging a golf club on the other side of the room. He walks over and says, “Excuse me, but what the heck are you doing?”
The guy says, “I’m Tiger Woods. One more hole in one and I’m outta’ here.”
The reporter just nods and walks away. Then he sees another guy in the corner with a peanut on the end of his penis. He goes over and asks the guy what he thinks he’s doing and the guy replies, “I’m friggin’ nuts and I ain’t never getting outta’ here!”

 

Everythings Amazing & Nobodys Happy!

 

All to true sadly. HE might very well be right on point with his opening comments. We really do need to stop and remember what a fantastic age we are living in as compared to 50 years ago and remind people of the fact. We also have a responsibility to ourselves and future generations to use this technology in morally and personally responsible ways so as not to screw society up and more than we already have!

 

 

 

A recent e~mail remarking on a comment made by Impish made the observation that it sounded like Impish had attended the same school of thought as the reader’s uncle. We occasionally get comments and / or questions regarding our educational background with regards to our writing or our bonafides for commenting or sounding like experts on a certain subject. I thought I’d take a moment to go over our respective schoolings for the record.

Impish “Keg Killer” Dragon (shown here in his graduation portrait) graduated from the Draconia

branch of Whatsamatta U, an institution who’s sole claim to fame (or infamy) is a previous now famous celebrity alumni  Bullwinkle Moose.

While at Whatsamatta U, Impish majored in Greed, Gluttony & Wanton Excess while minoring in the subjects of Debauchery and Intimidation of Lesser Creatures. He lettered both Spring Break and the Leisure Suit Larry video game, proving particular adept at the “Land of the Lounge Lizard” version which he has been quoted as saying is his model for dealing with females of all species and that Larry was an interpersonal relationships god. He dabbled in theater, lending his talents both onstage and off, providing his natural abilities as special effects as well as playing the role of “Puff” in a musical adaptation of the song “Puff the Magic Dragon”. As a direct result of his portrayal of Puff, he also served as the model for the puppet character H.R. Pufnstuf for the children’s show of the same name. The producers who happened to be in the audience the single night of the play (strangely it opened and closed on the same night) stated they had never seen or envisioned a more comedic Dragon than Impish.  he continues to receive residuals to this day thanks to the advice of an at the time recent certain Irish acquaintance. Impish graduated in the…well Impish graduated anyway we’ll just leave it at that. Numbers and rankings are too defining and are not a fair comparison basis when applied to those in remedial classes.

  Lethal attended Curmudgeons & Cranks Community College following in the foot steps of such legendary curmudgeons as Fred Sanford, Archie Bunker and the Two Old Hecklers From the Muppets Show for two years. He chose to focus mainly on the subject of Sarcastic Wit and minored in the subject of Attitude.

He was then accepted to Killiecrankie College of Corporate Chicanery Coercion and Law a prestigious Shamrock League University on full scholarship largely based on his ruthless kidnapping of the Dean’s three young daughters and his threat to give then to a Dragon of his recent acquaintance. Lethal double majored in Business Management and Corporate Law while minoring in The Art of the Con and International Hooliganism. His extra collegiate activities saw him rise to the position of Factor in the Blackened Hand, the Irish equivalent of the Sicilian La Cosa Nostra as well as triple his already considerable net worth in his six years at Killecrankie. He is credited with inventing the Irish Sweepstakes Con while at Killiecrankie as his Doctorial Thesis in Causing Cash Positive Chicanery Beyond the Current Reach of the international Law enforcement Community. Upon graduating it is rumored that Lethal ultimately sold the Dean’s three now teenaged daughters to his dragon acquaintance and bankrupt the college in retaliation for graduating third in his class. No photos of Lethal are to be found past or present. should anyone have a provably documentable one, please contact Interpol, Scotland Yard or the FBI as a substantial reward is offered for it. Anyone possessing even the smallest most undeveloped instinct for self preservation is urged to contact Lethal himself who will double the reward offered and then not bear you ill will for complicating his life.

 

And that folks should just about cover our  respective educational backgrounds for you. Speaking of ‘education’, (man I just love it when a tie in presents itself)….

10 Most Bizarrely Geeky College Courses

You didn’t really think kids today were still studying the traditional Reading, Writing, Arithmetic, Advanced Hangovers & the Conquest of Opposite Sex did you??

Traditionally speaking, college is, by its very nature, all about education. Meeting new friends and having fun is usually a by-product, but fundamentally school is where young adults go to learn. Gaining knowledge can take many shapes and forms, but often those of a geeky persuasion are happiest when managing their own time away from the college grounds. So what happens when the lines between geek-time and learning become unmistakably blurred? What happens when the geeks take over the classroom? Find out in our article on ten bizarre college courses designed for geeks.

10. Zombies in Popular Media, Columbia College Chicago

You would think that the most important lesson one can learn about zombies would be to run away as quickly as possible or, if necessary, to shoot them in the head. However, this course at Columbia College Chicago goes a good deal further than that. It promises an “intense schedule” that “explores the history, significance, and representation of the zombie as a figure in horror and fantasy texts.” Those with an aversion to gore need not apply to this critical theory class. However, geeks with a taste for flesh, form an orderly queue. Let the shambling commence!

9. Strategy of Starcraft, UC Berkeley

StarCraft — and its recent sequel StarCraft II — are real-time military strategy computer games developed by Blizzard Entertainment. This class, which started in 2009, is made up of lectures on battle theory and other “computational” aspects of how space battles are fought. Students’ game-playing is analyzed and “homework” is assigned. Sounds tough. Other than a love of gaming, the only requirements for the course are a copy of Starcraft: Brood War and an “open mind.” While all this may sound too good to be true, there is a catch: the course credits are not counted towards general education pre-requisites. Who cares, though, if a career in competitive gaming awaits?

8. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Oberlin College

No doubt many a geek will have studied the image of Sarah Michelle Gellar in her most famous role as Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The phenomenally successful TV series ran to seven seasons from 1997 until 2003 and has left a lasting imprint in the cultural consciousness. This course at Oberlin “Experimental” College in Ohio is an example of what some like-minded academics call “Buffy studies,” the show having attracted a good deal of intellectual attention. The course assumes that students will have a “basic familiarity with the program.” Wooden stake and crucifix sadly not included.

7. Lego Robotics, MIT

You don’t have to be a geek to love Legos. But in this course at MIT it probably helps. Using Lego as a “fun tool to explore robotics” and more, the course provides students with the resources to design, build and program working robots from the little plastic bricks and a “few other parts, such as motors and sensors.” Just don’t let any younger siblings anywhere near your work in progress or you may have to ask for a deadline extension on that end-of-term project.

6. Philosophy and Star Trek, Georgetown University

Philosophy tutors love Star Trek. In all its incarnations — from the 1960s onwards — the show has contained philosophical themes and subtexts for would-be Platos to chew over. This course at Washington, D.C.’s Georgetown University — worth three Earth credits — takes Star Trek as the starting point for a whole semester’s worth of deep thinking and debate. Metaphysical questions sparked by the sci-fi staple and covered include “Is Data a person?”, “Is time travel possible?” and “Could you go back and kill your grandmother?” Would Spock approve? Guess you’ll have to sign up to find out.

5. Biology of Jurassic Park, Hood College

Hood College, Maryland claims that dinosaurs can help students understand many biological principles, such as patterns of evolution, ecology and behavior. All this despite the fact that they are extinct. Impressed? We were. The course is comprised of three lectures and three hours in the lab, so don’t expect it to be too taxing. Asking such questions as “Are birds really dinosaurs?” and “Were dinosaurs ‘warm-blooded’ or ‘cold-blooded?’” the classes are most assuredly aimed at clever girls and boys. And Velociraptors.

4. Sindarin (Elvish), University of Wisconsin

Back in 2004, at the very height of Lord of the Rings mania, the University of Wisconsin offered this course in Sindarin, otherwise known as Elvish. The language that novelist JRR Tolkien invented to be spoken by his long-legged, fair-headed Elves was taught by David Salo, who worked on the Rings trilogy of films as a linguistic expert. Obviously a deep knowledge of, and respect for, Tolkien’s languages was of great benefit to Mr. Salo; others, however, may well ask what they could expect to gain from such studies…

3. Science from Superheroes to Global Warming, University of California, Irvine

Ah, superheroes. A true geek staple. The undisputed world champions of geek culture ever since Superman lifted up a car on the cover of Action Comics #1 in 1938. For most hard-working students, superheroes and comic books are a pretty firm no-no in the classroom. Until now, that is. With this fiercely geek-friendly course, the University of California, Irvine promises students will develop a “better appreciation for science and the scientific method” while exploring questions about the powers of their favorite childhood heroes. Case studies are drawn from global warming and real-world experience, as well as movies and, natch, superheroes. Don’t get too close to the kryptonite!

2. The Science of Harry Potter, Frostburg State University

The Harry Potter saga may be over, with J.K. Rowling having written her last book — and the movie adaptations’ young cast matured into adulthood — but that hasn’t stopped the enormous popularity of the franchise. Back in 2003, when the Potter cultural empire was still gathering steam, Frostburg State University, Maryland offered this seminar in The Science of Harry Potter. Students were expected to examine the books to “assess the possible science behind the fantasy.” Alas, there is no mention of whether any Quidditch contests took place.

1. Invented Languages: Klingon and Beyond, University of Texas at Austin

Salt and pepper. Milk and cookies. Geeks and Star Trek. Some things are just meant to go together. The designers of this course at the University of Texas, Austin obviously thought so too, using the fantastical alien language of Klingon as a jumping-off point for exploring some fairly weighty linguistic and philosophical areas through the use of literature, films, the internet and, presumably, a lot of TV. Logical. But as every Star Trek fan knows, logic isn’t a Klingon’s strong point. ( Or for THAT matter a Dragon’s neither!)

 Check on your kids and grandkids course load now and see how they are wasting your tuition funds! The money you save may be all you get to retire on the way Social Security is headed!

Very well written and very true.

Grey-Haired Brigade

They like to refer to us as senior citizens, old fogies, geezers, and in some cases dinosaurs. Some of us are “Baby Boomers” getting ready to retire. Others have been retired for some time. We walk a little slower these days and our eyes and hearing are not what they once were.

We have worked hard, raised our children, worshipped our God and grown old together. Yes, we are the ones some refer to as being over the hill, and that is probably true. But before writing us off completely, there are a few things that need to be taken into consideration.

In school we studied English, history, math, and science which enabled us to lead America into the technological age. Most of us remember what outhouses were, many of us with firsthand experience. We remember the days of telephone party-lines, 25 cent gasoline, and milk and ice being delivered to our homes. For those of you who don’t know what an icebox is, today they are electric and referred to as refrigerators. A few even remember when cars were started with a crank. Yes, we lived those days.

We are probably considered old fashioned and out-dated by many. But there are a few things you need to remember before completely writing us off. We won World War II, fought in Korea and Viet Nam . We can quote The Pledge of Allegiance, and know where to place our hand while doing so. We wore the uniform of our country with pride and lost many friends on the battlefield. We didn’t fight for the Socialist States of America , we fought for the “Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave.” We wore different uniforms but carried the same flag. We know the words to the Star Spangled Banner, America , and America the Beautiful by heart, and you may even see some tears running down our cheeks as we sing. We have lived what many of you have only read about in history books and we feel no obligation to apologize to anyone for America .

Yes, we are old and slow these days but rest assured, we have at least one good fight left in us. We have loved this country, fought for it, and died for it, and now we are going to save it. It is our country and nobody is going to take it away from us. We took oaths to defend America against all enemies, foreign and domestic, and that is an oath we plan to keep. There are those who want to destroy this land we love but, like our founders, there is no way we are going to remain silent.

It was the young people of this nation who elected Obama and the Democratic Congress.

You fell for the “Hope and Change” which in reality was nothing but “Hype and Lies.” You have tasted socialism and seen evil face to face, and have found you don’t like it after all. You make a lot of noise, but most are all too interested in their careers or “Climbing the Social Ladder” to be involved in such mundane things as patriotism and voting. Many of those who fell for the “Great Lie” in 2008 are now having buyer’s remorse. With all the education we gave you, you didn’t have sense enough to see through the lies and instead drank the ‘Cool-Aid.’ Now you’re paying the price and complaining about it. No jobs, lost mortgages, higher taxes, and less freedom. This is what you voted for and this is what you got. We entrusted you with the Torch of Liberty and you traded it for a paycheck and a fancy house.

Well, don’t worry youngsters, the Grey Haired Brigade is here, and in 2012 we are going to take back our nation. We may drive a little slower than you would like but we get where we’re going, and in 2012 we’re going to the polls by the millions. This land does not belong to the man in the White House nor to the likes of Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid. It belongs to “We the People” and “We the People” plan to reclaim our land and our freedom. We hope this time you will do a better job of preserving it and passing it along to our grandchildren. So the next time you have the chance to say the Pledge of Allegiance, Stand up, put your hand over your heart, honor our country, and thank God for the old geezers of the “Grey-Haired Brigade.”

~Author, Anon. Grey-Haired Brigade Member

I am another Gray Haired Geezer signing on. Come on guys. Let’s get this circulating around.

Thanks to K~Squared who is one of the plank owners ( that translates Founding or Senior member for you non Navy types) I understand in the Gray Hair Brigade

Hey you bought into Hope & Change so what’s so much farther
fetched about a Dragon and a Leprechaun running the Country?

Army Preps for Tea Party ‘Terrorists’

By Mark Alexander · 

Publisher’s Note: Publisher’s Note: Senior Command staff at Ft. Knox contacted me on the date of publication. They confirmed that there was a security exercise at Ft. Knox this week. An officer in the security loop altered the scenario “in order to make it more realistic.” The alterations were not approved at the Command level and were not used by the Installation Command Post. The officer who circulated the scenario through official channels has been identified and will “receive appropriate counsel.” Further, Command staff noted, “An official investigation has been initiated to determine the manner in which this information was included in the exercise scenario. Fort Knox leadership is committed to continued positive associations with our community groups and organizations and will continue to work to enhance and improve those relationships.” Commanders provided assurance that this type of scenario would not find its way into official circulation again.

The fact that any officer would associate Tea Party folks with “white supremacists” armed with “military grade weapons” and “bomb making components,” and believe that association would make this scenario “more realistic,” is troubling, at best. We owe our gratitude to a handful of Patriots, who, at risk to their careers, came forth with this information and expected us to handle it honorably and accurately — and we did just that.

In regard to the verbatim scenario documentation we posted, even though those documents were not classified, Command staff asked that we remove them for specified security reasons. As our mission is not only to uphold our Constitution by holding those in positions of authority accountable to their oaths, but also to support our uniformed Patriots, I agreed to remove the documents from our Web site as requested.

“The duty imposed upon [the president] to take care, that the laws be faithfully executed, follows out the strong injunctions of his oath of office, that he will ‘preserve, protect, and defend the constitution.’ The great object of the executive department is to accomplish this purpose; and without it, be the form of government whatever it may, it will be utterly worthless for offence, or defence; for the redress of grievances, or the protection of rights; for the happiness, or good order, or safety of the people.” –Justice Joseph Story

A few months back, the commander in chief of our Armed Forces, that erstwhile community organizer Barack Hussein Obama, denigrated a large cross section of Americans who identify with the Tea Party movement — those who advocate for Essential Liberty and Rule of Law.

Obama identified them as malcontents, “waving their little tea bags.”

Since then, the Obama administration and their Leftmedia sycophants have endeavored to characterize Tea Party attendees as rude, radical, racist, redneck, enemies of the state. They have attempted to tie high-profile acts of violence against the government to the Tea Party, including the pilot who crashed his plane into a Texas IRS headquarters. (Turns out, he was a Leftwing nut.)

In fact, Americans who attend Tea Party rallies are from all walks of life, as noted in the Patriot Declaration, Patriots who are peacefully and constitutionally petitioning their government for redress.

As I noted in my tax-day essay, Tea Parties are “not a call for revolution but for restoration — a call to undertake whatever measures are dictated by prudence and necessity to restore constitutional Rule of Law.”

However, Obama’s words do have consequences.

This week, I was contacted by a number of civilian and military personnel (enlisted and officer ranks) who expressed concern about a military exercise scenario proposed for Ft. Knox, the U.S. Bullion Depository. (For the record, I called Ft. Knox security for an official comment and received the standard reply: “We are not authorized to discuss this exercise.”)

As with most such exercises, the Ft. Knox scenario outline occurred in stages, as if real time intelligence was being provided at various intervals. The first intel advisory I received was issued on Friday, 23 April 2010, and identifies the terrorist threat adversaries as “Local Militia Groups / Anti-Government Protesters / TEA Party.”

You read that right: “TEA Party”!

The advisory states that plans for a demonstration may have been interrupted by “Federal and local law enforcement” raids on a “White Supremacists Organization,” but “TEA Party organizers have stated that they will protest at the Gold Vault at a future date.”

Further, the intel advisory states, “Anti-Government – Health Care Protesters have stated that they would join the TEA Party as a sign of solidarity.”

In accordance with the exercise proposal, Ft. Knox post security is placed on high alert because, “these groups are armed, have combative training and some are former Military Snipers. Some may have explosives training / experience,” and “a rally at their compound / training area is scheduled.”

Another intel update was issued on Monday, 26 April 2010, noting that the “rally at the Militia compound occurred,” and “Viable threats … have been made.” The intel on the rally notes, “Many members were extremely agitated at what they referred to as Government intervention and over taxation in their lives. Alcohol use ‘fanned the flames.’ Many military grade firearms were openly carried. An ad hoc ‘shoot the government agent’ event was held with prizes (alcohol) given for the best shot placement.”

The report states further, “Components of bomb making are reported to have been on the site. Some members have criminal records relating to explosive and weapons violations.”

In response to the “immediate threat,” the exercise stipulates, “local detention centers are being made ready for mass arrests.” Both the “QRF I and QRF II” are placed on two hour recall, and the “5-15 CAV” was ordered to “draw weapons from holder and store in most available arms room,” and “coordinate with MASA for immediate ammunition draw; have equipment readied for immediate use, i.e. vehicles staged and loaded IAW 5-15 CAV SOP; LMR’s charged.”

QRF refers to Quick Reaction Force. QRF I is the 194th Armored Brigade. QRF II is the 194th Armored Brigade.

The 26 April order gives specific instructions for the 5-15 CAV (a 16th Cavalry battalion) to have weapons, ammo, vehicles and communications at ready, and it places the other 2,200 members of the units on two-hour recall. In other words, these orders are to gear up for defending Ft. Knox against Tea Party folks and their co-conspirators who oppose nationalization of our health care sector.

Now, for almost 30 years I have, on occasion, participated in the development and implementation of small and large scale military exercises within the U.S. and around the world.

Such exercises are critical to the readiness of our forces, and the standard for the real time intel reports in these drills requires thinly veiled references to assets of existing or collateral threat vectors, communist regimes such as China and terrorist networks such as al-Qa’ida, etc.

Perhaps the author of the Ft. Knox scenario should focus on a response plan for, say, an Islamic terrorist who attacks unarmed troops on his own post. (See Ft. Hood / Major Nidal Malik Hasan.)

While the Ft. Knox exercise scenario is amateurish in its construct (meaning it appears to be composed by someone with not much experience in such matters), the fact that it made it out into official channels sets an ominous political precedent.

The military officers and enlisted personnel with whom I spoke are all dedicated uniformed Patriots who are loyal, first and foremost, to their oath to “support and defend” our Constitution “against all enemies, foreign and domestic.”

Their concerns about this exercise mirrored my own. As one put it, the scenario “misrepresents freedom loving Americans as drunken, violent racists — the opponents of Obama’s policies have been made the enemy of the U.S. Army.”

They were equally concerned that it appears the command staff at Ft. Knox had signed off on this exercise, noting, “it has been issued and owned by field grade officers who lead our battalions and brigades,” which is to say many Lieutenant Colonels saw this order before it was implemented.

It’s not likely that Ft. Knox Commanding General James Milano or Deputy Commander Col. David Teeples, or even the regimental and brigade commanders for the 16th Cav and 194th AB, actually read the exercise scenario, but that doesn’t absolve responsibility for such an egregious example of political agendas infiltrating military exercise scenarios.

One officer insisted, “The American people should require greater accountability of their commissioned officers, that they abide by their oath and never allow politically motivated propaganda like this exercise on any post or base again.”

Another observed, “Whether this is complacency by officers who do not see such orders as a problem, or worse, officers who recognize the problem but do not insist the orders are changed, this is a serious problem. We are discussing the training of American citizen soldiers in the use of potentially deadly force against a specific group of political dissenters. There is never a time in an officer’s career in which he does not have a duty to apply critical thought to the orders he is given and asked to give. It is my opinion that any officer that has allowed these orders to persist, to reach the level of junior officers and soldiers, has demonstrated a lack of judgment or apathy towards what his duty requires of him. Either way, we should demand more of the commissioned officers, who we as a nation empower to lead our sons and daughters into battle.”

Indeed, and at best, the blatant malfeasance on the part of the individuals who composed this exercise reflects poorly on the uniformed services.

The antidote to this patent misrepresentation of peaceable Patriots is to expose it with the Light of Truth. As our motto Veritas vos Liberabit affirms, the Truth shall set you Free!

http://patriotpost.us/alexander/2010/04/29/army-preps-for-tea-party-terrorists/

 

Be on the lookout for terrorists such as Impish Dragon & Lethal Leprechaun~
These people and others like them are dangerous to Obamamerica despite not being TEA Party members. They have a warped sense of Justice and demand we all follow the Constitution and the Bill of Rights instead of what our Glorious Socialist Muslim Leader, his liberal hench~czars and minions want. Impish Dragon & Lethal Leprechaun are educated, articulate and possess strong opinions backed up by readily verifiable and unimpeachable facts, they must therefore be considered EXTREMELY DANGEROUS THREATS to Hope & Change. Do not try to apprehend. Instead call Obama’s Terrorist Hotline or the FBI.

Good Morning Campers… October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, as many of you know, this is an important topic to me.  There is a permanent link on the right column of the blog page for the Breast Cancer Site, a site who’s dedicated to providing free mammograms to Women and to date, they have provided 52,859 mammograms since October of 2000. 
 
It costs you nothing.  Click on the above banner and then click where it says

and you are helping.  Make it a habit, do this every day! 

Breast Cancer is a horrible disease that will affect roughly 1 in 7 women this year.

It’s a horrible problem, and a lousy topic for a humor e-zine, but you know, one of the things that makes us humans, is our ability to laugh through adversity, laugh in the face of tragedy, and spit in the eye of the devil. And like our motto says: Battling the World’s B.S. one laff at a time.  So … 

 

 

 

Two lawyers were walking along, negotiating a case.

“Look,” said one to the other, “let’s be honest with each other.”

“Okay, you first,” replied the other.

That was the end of the discussion.

 

A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday
after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. The second
Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. The following Sunday, he talks
for 2 hours and 48 minutes.

The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit and they
asked him what happened.

The Pastor explains the first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he couldn’t
talk for more than 8 minutes. The second Sunday his gums hurt too much
to talk for more than 10 minutes. But, the third Sunday, he put his
wife’s teeth in by mistake and he couldn’t shut up…

 

At a wedding party recently someone yelled,

“All married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living.”

The bartender was almost crushed to death.

 

 

 

Test your knowledge with 11 questions, and then be ready to shudder when you see how others did.

Click here: Test Your News IQ – Pew Research Center

 

This was a neat little quiz.  I got 10 out of the 11 right.  If you look at the left column at the end of the quiz, you can click on a tab “How You Did Question by Question” and that will give you a break down of the questions you answered correctly.  And then at the bottom of THAT page, you can find a link called “Read the Report” that goes into a nice article on what the quiz means and how the results pan out.  Very nice.  Thanks to John for sending this one in.

 

 

Are you thinking of buying a boat? Not sure if it’s a good and strong boat? Wonder how strong the hull is?
Well then, have no fear. Now there is the Bubba Test for boats. The following video will demonstrate this
Very valuable test. Some would call this a “Redneck” test.
Click on Tough boats below

Tough boats <http://WWW.toughboats.Com/video.cfm?fullscreen=1&filename=Toughboats_BubbaCRevLegal>

 

 

 

Thanks to Hank for this straight-forward logic:

If you can answer this correctly, you can answer the question on what action to take on raising the Federal debt ceiling.

You come home from work and find there has been a sewer backup and you have sewage up to your ceiling.

What do you do…. raise the ceiling, or pump out the Shit?

You may give your answer in November of 2012

 

 

 

 

If this doesn’t chap your ass, then you aren’t paying attention:
http://standwitharizona.com/blog/2011/09/22/airborne-anchor-baby-shows-folly-of-birthright-citizenship/

 

 

 

 

 

A three-year-old regularly watched football games with his father. So much so, that he knew some of the signals the referee makes. On a recent Sunday, the three-year-old attended church with the family. As the pastor raised his hands high to offer a blessing, the child interrupted the service by shouting, “Touchdown!”

 

The Jewish man said, “Last week, my wife and I had great sex. I rubbed her body all over with schmaltz (chicken fat), we made passionate love, and she screamed for five full minutes at the end!”

The Frenchman boasted, “Last week when my wife and I had sex, I rubbed her body all over with butter. We then made passionate love and she screamed for 10 minutes!”

The Italian man said, “Well, last week my wife and I also had sex. I rubbed her body all over with olive oil. We made love, and she screamed for over six hours!”

The other two were stunned.

The amazed Frenchman asked, “What could you have possibly done to make your wife scream for six hours?”

The Italian said…………”I wiped my hands on the bedspread.”

 

Today’s Last Word…Comes from the Breast Cancer Site’s informational tab: Part 1

Learning the facts about breast cancer and formulating an early detection plan are important ways to protect yourself and your loved ones. Please take a moment to learn more about breast cancer with this important information from the National Breast Cancer Foundation, our partner and beneficiary.

Please click here to learn about the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force’s mammogram guidelines, released in 2009, as well as other recommendations for when to start and how often to get a mammogram.

 

Overview¹

Breast cancer is the most common malignancy in women and the second leading cause of cancer death (exceeded by lung cancer in 1985). Breast cancer is three times more common than all gynecologic malignancies put together. The incidence of breast cancer has been increasing steadily from an incidence of 1:20 in 1960 to 1:7 women today.

The National Breast Cancer Foundation estimates that each year over 200,000 new cases of breast cancer will be diagnosed and over 40,000 patients will die from the disease. Breast cancer is truly an epidemic among women and we don’t know why.

“When breast cancer is found early, the five-year survival rate is 96%.” 
—National Breast Cancer Foundation

Breast cancer is not exclusively a disease of women. For every 100 women with breast cancer, 1 male will develop the disease. The National Breast Cancer Foundation estimates that approximately 1,700 men will develop the disease and 450 will die each year. The evaluation of men with breast masses is similar to that in women, including mammography.

The incidence of breast cancer is very low in a person’s twenties, gradually increases and plateaus at the age of forty-five, and increases dramatically after age fifty. Fifty percent of breast cancer is diagnosed in women over sixty-five, indicating the ongoing necessity of yearly screening throughout a woman’s life.

Breast cancer is considered a heterogeneous disease, meaning that it is a different disease in different women, a different disease in different age groups, and has different cell populations within the tumor itself. Generally, breast cancer is a much more aggressive disease in younger women. Autopsy studies show that 2% of the population has undiagnosed breast cancer at the time of death. Older women typically have much less aggressive disease than younger women.

 

Facts

• Every two minutes a woman is diagnosed with breast cancer.

• One woman in eight who lives to age 85 will develop breast cancer during her lifetime.

• Breast cancer is the leading cause of death in women between the ages of 40 and 55.

• Seventy percent of all breast cancers are found through breast self-exams. Not all lumps are detectable by touch. We recommend regular mammograms and monthly breast self-exams.

• Eight out of ten breast lumps are not cancerous. If you find a lump, don’t panic-call your doctor for an appointment.

• Mammography is a low-dose X-ray examination that can detect breast cancer up to two years before it is large enough to be felt.

• When breast cancer is found early, the five-year survival rate is 96%. This is good news! Over 2 million breast cancer survivors are alive in America today.

 

Risk Factors¹

Early onset of menses and late menopause: Onset of the menstrual cycle prior to the age of 12 and menopause after 50 causes increased risk of developing breast cancer.

Diets high in saturated fat: The types of fat are important. Monounsaturated fats such as canola oil and olive oil do not appear to increase the risk of developing breast cancer like polyunsaturated fats, corn oil, and meat.

Family history of breast cancer: Patients with a positive family history of breast cancer are at increased risk for developing the disease. However, it is important to note that 85% of women with breast cancer have no family history of the disease.

Family history only includes immediate relatives: mother, sisters, and daughters. If a family member was post-menopausal (fifty or older) when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, the lifetime risk is only increased 5%. If the family member was premenopausal, the lifetime risk is 18.6%. If the family member was premenopausal and had bilateral breast cancer, the lifetime risk is 50%.

Genetic testing of the BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes is increasingly being integrated into clinical care for appropriately counseled adults who meet established criteria for this testing. [Certain variations of the BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes lead to an increased risk for breast cancer.] The American Society of Clinical Oncologists (ASCO) and the National Comprehensive Cancer Network (NCCN) are among the professional healthcare organizations that have published criteria for genetic counseling/testing and cancer risk management. Increased and earlier surveillance, chemoprevention (tamoxifen, oral contraceptives) and surgical interventions (mastectomy, oophorectomy — removal of the ovaries and fallopian tubes) are among the current early detection and risk-reducing strategies discussed with women undergoing BRCA testing. In contrast to breast cancer, there is no reliable early detection for ovarian cancer, which is often fatal due to late stage at diagnosis. Therefore, oophorectomy is generally recommended between ages 35-40 or upon completion of childbearing for women at high risk for ovarian cancer. Despite initial concerns about insurance coverage discrimination, many insurers, including major indemnity plans (BC/BS, Aetna, Kaiser, etc.) recognize the healthcare benefits of this BRCA testing and cover test and genetic consultation fees when deemed medically necessary. To date, more than 10,000 women and men have had BRCA testing. Similar to other medical tests, BRCA test results are often used to substantiate the need for the early detection and risk-reducing options available for individuals at high-risk for breast and ovarian cancers.

“Women at increased risk should talk with their doctors about the benefits and limitations of starting mammography screening earlier, having additional tests, or having more frequent exams.” 
—American Cancer Society

Late or no pregnancies: Pregnancies prior to the age of twenty-six are somewhat protective. Nuns have a higher incidence of breast cancer.

Moderate alcohol intake: Greater than two alcoholic beverages per day.

Estrogen replacement therapy: Most studies indicate that taking estrogen longer than ten years may lead to a slight increase in risk for developing breast cancer. However, these studies indicate that the positive benefits of taking estrogen as far as reducing the risk for osteoporosis, heart disease and now more recently Alzheimer’s and colon cancer, far outweigh the slight increase in risk that may be associated with estrogen replacement therapy.

Caution should be exercised in those women with a significantly positive family history of breast cancer or atypical intraductal hyperplasia [an abnormal production of cells within the duct system of the breast. Women who have atypical intraductal hyperplasia have an increased risk of breast cancer]. Women with breast cancer are not currently given estrogen replacement. There are no scientific studies currently justifying this practice. However, until those studies are available, women are conventionally taken off estrogen as a precautionary measure.

History of prior breast cancer: Patients with a prior history of breast cancer are at increased risk for developing breast cancer in the other breast. This risk is 1% per year or a lifetime risk of 10%. The reason for close clinical follow-up after the diagnosis of breast cancer is not only to detect recurrence of the disease, but also to detect breast cancer in the opposite breast.

Female: The mere fact of being female increases the risk of developing breast cancer. However, for every 100 women with breast cancer, 1 male will develop the disease.

Therapeutic irradiation to chest wall, i.e. for Hodgkins Disease (cancer of the lymph nodes): Patients who have had therapeutic irradiation to the chest are at increased risk for developing breast cancer approximately 10 years later, and consideration should be given to earlier screening in this population.

Moderate obesity: The relationship of breast cancer to obesity is more complex but associated with an increased risk.

 

Word and Pictures Too. If You’re Not 18, Excessively Religious, Easily Offended or a Liberal
(Yeah I know the last two mean the same thing) Leave Now, This Isn’t For You.
Remaining Means You Give Up The Right To Whine or Complain About the Content of the Issue!

 

Greetings Fellow Coffee Imbibers!

Wow! What a weekend! It rained but Saturday & Sunday! It started out mostly shower during the day Saturday but they got heavier and longer in duration as the day progressed to the point where we had steady gentle rains most of Saturday night and steady to seriously soaking rains Sunday. In total we achieved between two and a half to just over three inches of much needed rain in two days. The rain will not bust the region’s drought – Houston remains more than 22 inches below normal for the year – but coming as temperatures are beginning to cool down it should provide some significant short-term relief for yards, trees and wildlife.

 

 

A fighting force may travel on its stomach but those travels are kept in motion by coffee!

Wow 2 gratuitous coffee representations already is this a great issue or what! 

Sue: I just don’t share the enthusiasm some new parents have for babies.
Barb: Yeah, I know what you mean.
Sue: Last week, I spent a whole afternoon with Janie and her two brats, and my Fallopian tubes tied themselves!

 

OK I’ll admit it, Impish DID say that on the advice of my council.

Speaking of coffee, we had a special design request for a coffee mug for the Dragonlaffs store from a reader. It’s now available for sale in the store in addition to our other mugs.

It features likenesses of both Impish and I along with our two most famous quotes and is named in honor of its requester.

http://www.zazzle.com/dragonlaffs_com_the_angelia_special_mug-168131868466086961

Also please note that today is the VERY ABSOLUTE LAST DAY to purchase our Sept 11th Memorial Mug and help us make a donation to a worth cause helping the survivors and their families

Well at least English is his native language…I think

Bad news for us-

To save the economy, on September 29, 2011, the government will order the immigration department to start deporting old people (instead of undocumented) in order to lower Social Security and Medicare costs.

Old people are easier to catch and will not remember how to get back home!

I started crying when I thought of you…..Impish will see you on the bus. (right after it runs him over)

 

Starbucks CEO plans town hall on politics

Wrangling hurts economy, he says

Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz will host a “Conversation with America” telephone town hall on Tuesday. He is running ads in the New York Times and USA TODAY ahead of the event urging U.S. citizens to insist politicians end their hyper-partisan behavior

PORTLAND, Ore. — Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz changed how America drinks coffee. Now, he wants to change the political system.

The leader of the world’s largest coffee company said U.S. political leaders have created a “crisis of confidence” with their political wrangling that is wreaking havoc on the economy.

He said he wants to give a voice to all citizens by hosting a national telephone forum on Tuesday.

He’s also running ads in the New York Times and USA TODAY ahead of the event, featuring an open letter that urges Americans to participate in the forum and insist politicians end their hyper-partisan behavior. (See Letter below ~L.L.)

“We must send the message to today’s elected officials … that the time to put citizenship ahead of partisanship is now,” Schultz said in the letter.

The forum comes weeks after Schultz called on other CEOs to halt contributions to U.S. political campaigns until the nation’s leaders become financially disciplined and stop their political wrangling.

Read the rest by clicking here

The Letter:

September 2011

Dear Starbucks Friend and Fellow Citizen:

I love our country. And I am a beneficiary of the promise of America. But today, I am very concerned that at times I do not recognize the America that I love.
Like so many of you, I am deeply disappointed by the pervasive failure of leadership in Washington. And also like you, I am frustrated by our political leaders’ steadfast refusal to recognize that, for every day they perpetuate partisan conflict and put ideology over country, America and Americans suffer from the combined effects of paralysis and uncertainty. Americans can’t find jobs. Small businesses can’t get credit. And the fracturing of consumer confidence continues.
We are better than this.
Three weeks ago, I asked fellow business leaders to join me in urging the President and the Congress to put an end to partisan gridlock and, in its place, to set in motion an upward spiral of confidence. More than 100 business leaders representing American companies – large and small – joined me in signing a two-part pledge:
First, to withhold political campaign contributions until a transparent, comprehensive, bipartisan debt-and-deficit package is reached that honestly, and fairly, sets America on a path to long-term financial health and security. Second, to do all we can to break the cycle of economic uncertainty that grips our country by committing to accelerate investment in jobs and hiring.
In the weeks since then, I have been overwhelmed by the heartfelt stories of Americans from across the country, sharing their anguish over losing hope in the strongest and most galvanizing force of all – the American Dream. Some feel they have no voice. Others feel they no longer matter. And many feel they have been left behind.
We cannot let this stand.
Please join other concerned Americans and me on a national call-in conversation on Tuesday September 6th hosted by “No Labels,” a nonpartisan organization dedicated to fostering cooperative and more effective government. To learn more about the forum and the pledges, visit www.upwardspiral2011.org
America is at a fragile and critical moment in its history. We must restore hope in the American Dream. We must celebrate all that America stands for around the world. And while our Founding Fathers recognized the constructive value of political debate, we must send the message to today’s elected officials in a civil, respectful voice they hear and understand, that the time to put citizenship ahead of partisanship is now.
Yours is the voice that can help ignite the contagious upward spiral of confidence that our country desperately needs.
With great respect,

chief executive officer, Starbucks Coffee Company

Now I am philosophically opposed to fru~fru coffees that taste like candy and cost more than $5 a cup, the majority of which are consumed by liberals anyhow but I may just have to start ordering an occasional coffee at Starbucks to support what Howard Schultz is attempting to do here. (Indeed one of the ‘platform planks’ of Dragon~Leprechaun 2012 is a full and affordable pot (of coffee) in every house)

I have examined the site for upwardspiral2011.org and I find their 2 prong philosophy for attacking the problem spot on.

Prong One: Hit the politicians where they live and are most susceptible, in their wallets. Withhold ALL donations from ALL politicians until they start listen to and heeding the word and will of the people they are elected and sworn to represent.

Prong Two: Show the government that business is indeed capable of regenerating the economy and with out raising our already crushing debit level by doing all it can to create new jobs and new job opportunities on their own sans governmental interference before the close of 2011.

I urge you to visit www.upwardspiral2011.org today and take the personal pledge to withhold all contributions if you a  person and additionally to create new jobs if you are a business owner. The country and economy you help save will be your own, not some ungrateful third world Anti~American terrorist harbor, no maybe about it!

 

I keep forgetting I have all these to post!

 

Fair warning given!

Redneck Belly Competition

They must have signed up for the same exercise class as Impish!

 

Rules For Dating Impish’s Daughter

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a “barrier method” of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is “early.”

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry. I might depending on just how upset she gets over you be forced to eat you.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don’t you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka – zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. On issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless dragon of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and my good friend Lethal has access to five thousand acres of farm land plus knows the secret of why they never found Jimmy Hoffa’s body. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car – there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

 

 

A practical example of how the human mind works.

In the picture below, we will analyze what it represents to some groups of people.Read the review after the photo…

– For young men, it’s a nice ass. Only the most observant will define this as an ass crossing the street. The really observant will see the thong.
– For older men, it is a respectable woman with a nice ass crossing the street.
– The perverts will imagine her as a naked woman.
– The wise men will ponder the presence of mind of the photographer in the face of such beauty and gratitude that it was shared with humanity.
– For half of the women, this is an ordinary woman who should not have left home dressed that way.
– Children, the curious, and monks will probably notice a dog driving the taxi..

Don’t be alarmed, I didn’t see the dog either.

 

Thanks to several of you readers we have all seen the devastation wrought on Vermont and other parts of New England by Hurricane Irene. However this photo of the devastation suffered  at a single local in New York City for me personally is by far the scariest of all!

 

Now I’m not endorsing Rick Perry or saying because he served that makes him superior to Obama, but I AM saying that these two photos speak volumes on their own and are worth some serious consideration and perspective taking.

DOES SHE LOOK SCARED?

Ann Barnhardt is described as “a livestock and grain commodity broker and marketing consultant, American patriot, and unwitting counter-revolutionary blogger. She can be reached through her business at www.barnhardt.biz.” She has taken on Islam and they have noticed.

DEATH THREAT:

YouTube user mufcadnan123 has sent you a message:

Watch your back.

To:annbarnhardt

I’m going to kill you when I find you. Don’t think I won’t, I know where you and your parents live and I’ll need is one phone-call to kil ya’ll.

———————————————-
ANN’S RESPONSE:
Re: Watch your back.
Hello mufcadnan123!

You don’t need to “find” me. My address is 9175 Kornbrust Circle, Lone Tree, CO 80124.
Luckily for you, there are daily DIRECT FLIGHTS from Heathrow to Denver . Here’s what you will need to do. After arriving at Denver and passing through customs, you will need to catch the shuttle to the rental car facility. Once in your rental car, take Pena Boulevard to I-225 south. Proceed on I-225 south to I-25 south. Proceed south on I-25 to Lincoln Avenue which is exit 193. Turn right (west) onto Lincoln . Proceed west to the fourth light, and turn left (south) onto Ridgegate Boulevard . Proceed south, through the roundabout to Kornbrust Drive . Turn left onto Kornbrust Drive and then take an immediate right onto Kornbrust Circle . I’m at 9175.
Just do me one favor. PLEASE wear body armor. I have some new ammunition that I want to try out, and frankly, close-quarter body shots without armor would feel almost unsporting from my perspective. That and the fact that I’m probably carrying a good 50 I.Q. points on you makes it morally incumbent upon me to spot you a tactical advantage.
However, being that you are a miserable, trembling coward, I realize that you probably are incapable of actually following up on any of your threats without losing control of your bowels and crapping your pants while simultaneously sobbing yourself into hyperventilation. So, how about this: why don’t you contact the main mosque here in Denver and see if some of the local musloids here in town would be willing to carry out your attack for you?
After all, this is what your “perfect man” mohamed did (pig excrement be upon him). You see, mohamed, being a miserable coward and a con artist, would send other men into battle to fight on his behalf. Mohamed would stay at the BACK of the pack and let the stupid, ignorant suckers like you that he had conned into his political cult do the actual fighting and dying. Mohamed would then fornicate with the dead men’s wives and children. You should follow mohamed’s example! Here is the contact info for the main mosque here in Denver :
Masjid Abu Bakr
Imam Karim Abu Zaid
2071 South Parker Road
Denver, CO 80231
Phone: 303-696-9800
Email: denvermosque@yahoo.com
I’m sure they would be delighted to hear from you. Frankly, I’m terribly disappointed that not a SINGLE musloid here in the United States has made ANY attempt to rape and behead me. But maybe I haven’t made myself clear enough, so let me do that right now.

I will NEVER, EVER, EVER submit to islam. I will fight islam with every fiber of my being for as long as I live because islam is pure satanic evil. If you are really serious about islam dominating the United States and the world, you are going to have to come through me. You are going to have to kill me. Good luck with that. And understand that if you or some of your musloid boyfriends do actually manage to kill me, The Final Crusade will officially commence five minutes later, and then, despite your genetic mental retardation, you will be made to understand with crystal clarity what the word “defeat” means. Either way, I win, so come and get it.

Ann Barnhardt


This taken from her website.

For some reason I am suddenly getting scads of emails asking to confirm my response to a musloid death threat. Yes, that is 100% real and accurate, and yes, that picture of a rosary-wrapped hand grasping a pink AR-15 is me. It is my very real Colt M4 that has been custom DuraCoated. Yes, yes, yes. Here is the original exchange from July 22 via YouTube. (shown above at the beginning) This guy is a musloid over in the U.K., hence the driving directions citing the daily direct flights from Heathrow to Denver,

From first contact to total capitulation: five hours forty-six minutes.

Why am I posting this stuff? Because I desperately want you people to see and understand that Western Civilization is collectively getting its ass kicked by the biggest bunch of gutless invertebrates on earth – who have the intellectual capacity to match.

Why are you cowering? Why are you afraid? My God, MAN UP!! STAND AND FIGHT!!!!

mufcadnan123 has sent you a message:

Re: Watch your back.

To:annbarnhardt

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL. B**ch are you real? Go get laid man. Go “turn the other cheek” and get some d**k to reduce your sexual frustration LMAO

1. I don’t know. Why don’t you follow up on your threat, show up here like a man, and after I have turned your head into a canoe, you can tell me whether or not I’m “real”.

2. Alas, we Christians have this thing called “sexual morality” and “the sacrament of marriage”. Fornicating with everything that moves including persons of the same gender, children, animals, corpses, small appliances and certain types of gardening implements is the domain of Islam.

3. While I understand that seeking out sodomy is what you have personally used over the years in order to “take the edge off” and temporarily forget that your father never loved you by sexually submitting to another man, and that your adult life has been a hopeless void of satanic hate-fueled despair, I prefer to pass my spare moments reading. I especially love reading about how Charles Martel utterly defeated the musloids at Tours. Thanks for the suggestion, though.

4. Oh, and by the way, don’t worry. No one is laughing at you.

Facta, non verba- (‘Facta, Non Verba‘ means “Deeds, Not Words” in Latin)

Ann Barnhardt

WOW!

1.)  I think I might have a serious case of blogger’s envy and admiration right now.

2.) AUTHOR! AUTHOR!

3.) How come SHE gets to have all the fun? Where is my own personal Irate Islamic Idiot to verbally tease & torture Then Maim to render useless to his 72 virgins (all of which Impish has personally had for dinner), defile with pork products and kill by sequentially detonating 3162 M~80 firecrackers hot glued to his body.

(If you do not know how the number 3162 was arrived at that is 2819 + 343. IF you don’t know what those number represent I suggest you refer to this previous posting of our blog,   https://dragonlaffs.com/2011/09/05/sept-11th-2001-tenth-anniversary-memorial-observance-issue/  then don a dunce cap for the rest of the day)

 

Poor Bill Gates! Steve beat him to the ultimate upgrade gig. Oh well don’t worry Bill I hear Hell still needs an upgrade!

 

MORAL OUTRAGE OF THE MONTH:

Alleged rape cover-up implicates multiple pastors, multiple churches

A woman alleges she was raped twice 13 years ago by a deacon of her church, Trinity Baptist in Concord, New Hampshire. Tina Anderson says the rapes resulted in her becoming pregnant when she was only 15. (That’s Anderson in the photo, in around 1997, before the assaults.)

The former deacon, Ernest Willis, has now been arrested on sexual assault charges.

Anderson also asserts that church officials, led by former pastor Chuck Phelps, covered up the crime. (That’s Phelps in the photo on the left.)

When she told of the alleged rape and pregnancy, church officials “blamed her…forced her to stand in front of her congregation and apologize for getting pregnant, and write a letter asking Willis’ wife for forgiveness.”

As a pregnant 15-year-old, Anderson was whisked off to Colorado where, she says, she was forced to give up the baby for adoption.

Pastor Chuck Phelps had previously worked with the pastor of Tri-City Baptist Church in Westminster, Colorado, and that’s where the young Tina Anderson was sent.

At that time, the pastor of Tri-City Baptist Church was Matt Olson, who is now the president of Northland International University, a Baptist Bible college in Wisconsin whose motto is “preparing the next generation of servant-leaders for Great Commission living.” (That’s Olson in the photo on the right.)

Anderson says Olson made her write a letter to the wife of deacon Willis. “He made me sit down and write a letter of apology to the rapist’s wife for betraying her trust by seducing her husband.”

“Chuck Phelps and Matt Olson did a lot to systematically brainwash me,” says Anderson, “and make me believe this was my fault, to cover things and make people believe that it wasn’t Ernie’s baby, to make — even Chuck Phelps’ wife…asked me if I enjoyed it when it happened. And it’s not OK…. It’s not OK to make victims believe it’s their fault.”
[“Not OK” indeed. Amen, Tina. You go, girl!]

But Tina was actually “brainwashed” even before the alleged rapes committed by the church deacon. She says she was also silenced in an earlier case.

Anderson alleges that “Trinity Baptist Church members had told her not to report an earlier case in which she had been molested by a convicted sex offender who was also a member of the congregation.”

“They told me that to be a good Christian, I need to forgive, forget and move on in my life,” she said. “And they told me that a good Christian doesn’t press charges on another good Christian.”

[How many times have we heard that “forgive and forget” line from Baptist officials and pastors? How many more times will we hear it before Baptist officials change their ways and implement systems of accountability?]

“Growing up, Anderson said, a family member molested her and beat her and her brother with a belt to ‘show us who was boss.’ When the man was imprisoned for an unrelated sex crime, Anderson, then 13, said she felt comfortable enough to tell church members that she, too, had been a victim. But she said church members told her to keep quiet.”

“Anderson said Phelps directed her to visit the man in state prison to offer her forgiveness.”

“He said if I didn’t forgive him and give him forgiveness, then I would get bitter,” she said. “It’s just kind of how things at the church go. The woman is blamed for everything.”

“At the state prison in Concord, Anderson said she was forced to confront the man with her mother. ‘It was horrible,’ she said. ‘It was awful.’”

Over the next two years, Anderson says she confided in Willis, who was then a deacon at Trinity. He offered emotional support and Anderson began babysitting for two of his children.

“I had gotten very close to the (Willis) family,” Anderson said. “At Trinity, your whole world revolves around the church and the people who are in the church, so those are really the only people you have contact with.”

“But according to Anderson, Willis raped her twice when she was 15 – once at her home and once in the parking lot of a Concord business during a driving lesson. Those allegations are the basis of the criminal charges the police have filed against Willis. Several months later, Anderson realized she was pregnant.”

Anderson’s mother called pastor Chuck Phelps for help, and according to Anderson, Phelps removed her from Trinity’s Bible school. “I was told that I was a bad influence,” she said. “I was told I was going to have to go up before the church.”

Anderson went to stay at pastor Phelps’ house, where she reports that she wasn’t allowed to see any of her friends or talk to anybody. “I had to stay there until they shipped me away,” she says.

Once in Colorado, Anderson was home-schooled.

But before she left for Colorado, Anderson was made to stand before some 400 members of the Trinity Baptist congregation to ask forgiveness for getting pregnant….”I was completely humiliated,” she said. “I felt like my life was over.”

“At Phelps’s urging, Anderson said, she gave her baby girl up for adoption”

Anderson “continued to be home-schooled until what would have been her senior year, when she returned to Concord for about six months. She lived with her mother again, and attended Trinity, sitting in the same pews as Willis. Anderson’s mother remains a member of Trinity today.”

Phelps, who is now the senior pastor of Colonial Hills Baptist Church in Indianapolis, claims there was “no cover-up.” But according to his recent statement in the Concord Monitor, Phelps admits that he told the 15-year-old Anderson to “be responsible.”

“She knew this person was dangerous after the first time, but she continued to be around him… She needed to be responsible,” says Phelps.

[“Continued to be around him”? Anderson says that the second alleged rape occurred when Willis came to her house. And if Phelps was so convinced that Willis was “dangerous,” why did Phelps allow Willis to remain in the congregation with nothing more than a statement that he was unfaithful to his wife?]

Meanwhile, even as police are seeking to conduct an investigation, the current pastor of Phelps’ prior church, where this story began, sent an email to members of the congregation. As reported by the Associated Press, the email from Trinity Baptist’s current pastor, Brian Fuller, “contains two statements advising parishioners to remain silent.”

“I love you tenderly and am confident you will only talk of these matters to our Lord in prayer,” wrote Fuller (shown in the photo on the right).

[Does that sound like “no cover-up” to you? To me it sounds more like “ongoing cover-up.”]

To me it sounds like interfering in a police investigation and conspiracy after the fact, both criminal offenses!

______________________________________

Updates:

• See “Trinity Baptist Church Members: Please Disobey Your Pastor.”
• Read the callous, victim-blaming, responsibility-shifting comments of Dr. John Matzko of Bob Jones University on Jeri Massi’s blog. . . and his subsequent apology.
• “Victim’s courage may lead to justice,” Nashua Telegraph, 6/5/2010
• Additional links for the Associated Press story in the Dallas Morning News, the Boston Globe, and FOX News.

Why isn’t Phelps being sentenced too for aiding and abetting a rapist, as well as interfering in a Police investigation & harming a minor? Why has he not been denounced by what ever passes for a governing council of Baptist Ministers and defrocked?

Why do I feel like I need a Silkwood shower and to convert to Buddhism or Druidism after reading this?

 

Good Morning Campers… Saturday?  It is Saturday, right?  I’m sorry if I seem a little bleary this morning, Lethal Leprechaun has been renting space out in my head for multiple voices and personalities and we had a huge influx last night.  We were all up very late moving them all in and getting them all settled.  I think he over did it a little, it’s pretty crowded in here now.  Plus, there’s a whole group of them inhabiting a space that was supposed to be for one…I’m pretty sure they’re illegals.  I think I may have to talk to an exorcist to get them evicted.
(Hey!  Pipe down!  I’m workin’ here!)
They’re really noisy, too.
Okay, listen, you campers go ahead and start in on today’s issue of Dragon Laffs
(No, you don’t get control of the dragon!  EVER!)
Sorry…
Anyway, go ahead and start on today’s issue and I’m going to go get an Icee and drink it real fast to give myself brain freeze to discipline these voices and try to get a little order going in here.  I’ll catch up with you later.

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I’m told you have to be from Wisconsin to really get this joke.  Well, I’m not from Wisconsin and I think it’s funny just the same. 

The year is 2016 and the United States has just elected the first woman president, who happens to be from Wisconsin.  A few days after the election the president-elect, whose name is Susan, calls her Father and says, “So, Dad, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?”
“I don’t think so.  It’s an 18 hour drive.”
“Don’t worry about it Dad, I’ll send Air Force One.  And a limousine will pick you up at your door.”
“I don’t know.  Everybody will be so fancy.  What would your mother wear?”
“Oh Dad,” replies Susan, “I’ll make sure she has a wonderful gown custom-made by the best designer in Washington …
“Honey,” Dad complains, “You know I can’t eat those rich foods you eat. Do they serve tap beer?”
The President-to-be responds, “Don’t worry Dad.  The entire affair will be handled by the best caterer in Washington.  I’ll ensure your meals are salt free. You and mom just have to be there.”
So Dad reluctantly agrees and on January 20, 2017, Susan is being sworn in as President of the United States. In the front row sits the new president’s dad and mom.  Dad noticing the senator sitting next to him leans over and whispers, ‘You see that woman over there with her hand on the Bible, becoming President of the United States
The Senator whispers back, “You bet I do.”
Dad says proudly, “Her brother played football for the Green Bay Packers.”

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Somebody dug up an old baby picture of mine.  That’s me with my pet boy.  We had lots of fun when I was just a wee dragon.  I was probably, oh, I don’t know, only 30 or 40 years old there.  Fun times.

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Lethal Leprechaun, whom we all know is a married Irishman, went into the confessional and said to his priest, ‘I almost had an affair with another woman.’ 

The priest said, ‘What do you mean, almost?’ 

Lethal said, ‘Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.’ 

The priest said, ‘Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box.’ 

The Leprechaun left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. 

He paused for a moment and then started to leave. 

The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, ‘I saw that. You didn’t put any money in the poor box!’ 

Lethal replied, ‘Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!’ 

Just one more example of how LL got to be as rich as he is.

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There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, ‘Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.’ 
The priest said, ‘Confess your sins and be forgiven.’ 

The young woman said, ‘Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.’ 

The priest thought long and hard and then said, ‘Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.’ 

The young woman asked, ‘Will this cleanse me of my sins?’ 

The priest said, ‘No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.’ 

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Puns by Diaman…

But for Venetian blinds, it would be curtains for us all.

Two astronauts who were dating put an end to it because they both needed their space.

“When the automatic gas pumps ask me to select a grade I usually give a B for quality and an F for pricing.”

  The Baseball Umpire Union felt safe in calling more strikes.

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A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, ‘You’re beautiful.’ Then he fell asleep again. 

His wife had never heard him say that before, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said, ‘You’re cute.’ The wife was disappointed because instead of ‘beautiful,’ it was now ‘cute.’ 

She asked, ‘What happened to beautiful?’ 

The man replied, ‘The drugs are wearing off.’ 

Father O’Malley answers the phone. ‘Hello, is this Father O’Malley?’ 

‘It is!’ 

‘This is the IRS. Can you help us?’ 

‘I can!’ 

‘Do you know a Lethal Leprechaun?’ 

‘I do!’ 

‘Is he a member of your congregation?’ 

‘He is!’ 

‘Did he donate $10,000 to the church?’ 

‘He will.’ 

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Marriage Humor 

Wife: ‘What are you doing?’ 

Husband: Nothing. 

Wife: ‘Nothing . . . ? You’ve been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.’ 

Husband: ‘I was looking for the expiration date.’ 

——————————- 

Wife : ‘Do you want dinner?’ 

Husband: ‘Sure! What are my choices?’ 

Wife: ‘Yes or no.’ 

——————————————————– 

Girl: ‘When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.’ 

Boy: ‘It’s very kind of you, darling, but I don’t have any worries or troubles.’ 

Girl: ‘Well that’s because we aren’t married yet.’ 

—————————— 
Son: ‘Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.’ 

Mom: ‘Well, you have done the right thing.’ 

Son: ‘But mum, I was sitting on daddy’s lap.’ 

________________________________ 

A newly married man asked his wife, ‘Would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me a fortune?’ 

‘Honey,’ the woman replied sweetly, ‘I’d have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!’ 

———————————————————— 

A wife asked her husband: ‘What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?’ 

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: ‘I like your sense of humor!’ 

————————————————————————

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.

‘What was that for?’ the man asked.

The wife replied, ‘That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket’. 

The man then said ‘When I was at the races last week, Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on.‘

The wife apologized and went on with the housework.

Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.

Wife replied.. ‘Your horse phoned’

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Brilliant marketing idea by Carlsberg Beer!  Read the short article then watch the video at the end.

http://www.simplyzesty.com/advertising-and-marketing/carlsberg-pull-brilliant-guerrilla-marketing-stunt-in-cinema/

• The University of Chicago is hosting an academic conference called “Jersey Shore Studies.” Meanwhile in Korea, students are learning something called “math.”

Jimmy Kimmel

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The worst case of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) ever seen!

I recently came back from a tour of duty in Afghanistan.  Having not seen my wife for several months, I was looking forward to a night of hot passionate sex!
Unfortunately, she came out of the shower with a towel wrapped round her head and I shot her…

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Today’s Last Word…starts out with an email I received and my comments are at the end.  I’m sure you’ll be able to tell the difference.

This was sent to me, I am forwarding it because it does touch a nerve in me..
This is another example of what Rick Perry called
“TREASON in high places” !!!

Get angry and pass this on!

Remember, not only did you contribute to Social Security but your employer did too. It totaled 15% of your income before taxes. If you averaged only $30K over your working life, that’s close to $220,500.
 
If you calculate the future value of $4,500 per year (yours & your employer’s contribution) at a simple 5% (less than what the govt. pays on the money that it borrows), after 49 years of working you’d have $892,919.98.
 
If you took out only 3% per year, you’d receive $26,787.60 per year and it would last better than 30 years (until you’re 95 if you retire at age 65) and that’s with no interest paid on that final amount on deposit! If you bought an annuity and it paid 4% per year, you’d have a lifetime income of $2,976.40 per month.
 
The folks in Washington have pulled off a bigger Ponzi scheme than Bernie Madhoff ever had.

Entitlement my ass, I paid cash for my social security insurance!!!! Just because they borrowed (stole) the money, doesn’t make my benefits some kind of charity or handout!!
 
Congressional benefits —- free healthcare, outrageous retirement packages, 67 paid holidays, three weeks paid vacation, unlimited paid sick days, now that’s welfare, and they have the nerve to call my social security retirement entitlements?

We’re “broke” and can’t help our own Seniors, Veterans, Orphans, Homeless

In the last months we have provided aid to Haiti , Chile , and Turkey . And now Pakistan ……home of bin Laden. Literally, BILLIONS of DOLLARS!!!

Our retired seniors living on a ‘fixed income’ receive no aid nor do they get any breaks while our government and religious organizations pour Hundreds of Billions of $$$$$$’s and Tons of Food to Foreign Countries!

They call Social Security and Medicare an entitlement even though most of us have been paying for it all our working lives and now when it’s time for us to collect, the government is running out of money. Why did the government borrow (steal) from it in the first place? Imagine if the *GOVERNMENT* gave ‘US’ the same support they give to other countries.

I included the above first so that would let you know what I read that started me thinking about different things.

The above article about social security is accurate in as far as it goes, but there’s so much more.  There are states that are trying to do something about the problem of illegal aliens and the administration is doing all it can to shut them down at every turn.  Entitling them to my hard earned money (and I’M the greedy one?)

There are families that make a career out of living on welfare; year after year after year, passing it down from parents to children; the family business; making NO effort to make their own way in the world. And our administration is doing virtually nothing to stop it. Even when a state wants to enact law that says they have to have a drug test, which we ALL know is of overwhelming support by the people (the people who are working for the money, not the ones with their hands out) and the administration is blocking it, saying that’s it’s unfair and biased.  Geez, doesn’t seem unfair and biased when my employer hands me a little cup and tells me to fill it so I can MAKE the money.  (and I’M the greedy one!)

Let’s see what else we can take away from these greedy bastards who are willing to work for a living and give it to the good, honest, upstanding citizens who, due to their poor circumstances in life, can’t fend for themselves.  I know!  Full digital cable (all the channels of course) and cell phones, they need cell phones!  And if my cable gets shut off or my cell phone because I’m trying to make ends meet….well, like my president said, maybe it’s because the car I’m driving isn’t fuel efficient enough!

I’m so sick and tired of all these hypocritical asses (on both sides of the aisle campers!) more worried about catering to who’s got the most votes than what’s RIGHT … it makes me sick!

A year plus away from the next election and we have an absentee president because he’s too busy campaigning!  Is this the HOPE and CHANGE YOU voted for?

They may have voted him in, but it’s going to be up to all of us to get our asses out of this fix we are in.  I hope you are all paying attention.

Impish