Well I can see by the number of sunburns,  miscellaneous athletic related injuries and the odd still lingering hangover that this bunch has NO idea what moderation or pacing one’s self is about. DAMN I AM SO PROUD!

My remarks area wee bit shorter than normal today as is the issue. With the Holiday issue this past Saturday this makes the 3rd issue in a row for me and as Impish kindly admitted in his comments to it, I did the lions share of the work on the holiday issue besides. So basically for the last 14 days all me other personal projects have suffered. I’m about 3/4 of the next issue done already so I’m taking a brief break to pay attention to the other irons I have in the fire.

Besides most of you can barely focus on not spilling your coffee let alone handle advanced concepts in your present conditions so lets be off then shall we?

 

 

Cause its so hard for us to get together for a cup of coffee

1. CLICK ON THE LINK (COFFEE MACHINE BELOW)
2. PUT THE COIN IN THE VENDING MACHINE
3. CHOOSE YOUR DRINK
4. CLICK ON THE CUP WHEN IT IS READY
5. CLICK ON OPEN ENJOY!

to start click

COFFEE MACHINE

 

 

 

So do Impish, Godzilla, Stay Puff and the Michelin Tire Man they were all starting to feel threatened!

Angry Birds Addicts Anonymous

 

Toward the end of our senior year in high school, we were required to take a CPR course. The classes used the well known mannequin victim, Resusci-Annie, to practice. Typical of most models, this Resusci-Annie was only a torso, to allow for storage in a carrying case.

The class went off in groups to practice. As instructed, one of my classmates gently shook the doll and asked, “Are you all right?” He then put his ear over the mannequin’s mouth to listen for breathing. Suddenly he turned to the instructor and exclaimed, “Oh my God! She said she can’t feel her legs!”

 

Deep thoughts and words of wisdom!

I am sending this particular email only to my intellectual friends
…..ponder the statement below.

Truer words…truer words….

Love those Church Ladies..They’re Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
————————–
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’
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Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
————————–
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
————————–
Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.
————————–
Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation…
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For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
————————–
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
————————–
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
————————–
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
————————–
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
————————–
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
————————–
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
————————-
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM.. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
————————–
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
————————–
The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday:
“I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours”.

 

WHO SAYS MEN DON’T REMEMBER ANNIVERSARIES?

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. “What’s the matter, dear?” she whispers as she steps into the room,”Why are you down here at this time of night?” The husband looks up from his coffee, “I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?” he says solemnly.

The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive. “Yes, I do” she replies.

The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily. “Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?”

“Yes, I remember,” said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues. “Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, “Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?” “I remember that too” she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says … “I would have gotten out today.”

 

Specifically, but not limited to, Obama’s entire Social Media Staff, a larger bunch of Twitter twits a tweeting I have never seen!

 

Guess I should apologize to Impish for associating him with anything P.C. even if it WAS only to make a joke. Okay here goes: 

I just did, more or less anyway, publically, to Impish. You might want to mark that down on your calendars. I promise to do better by him.

Here’s a picture of Impish just voguin’ & chillin’ for the ladies. See? That’s better already!

 

Best T-shirt EVER!!

Imponderable Universal Truths

1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronized with a complete stranger.
4) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
5) You’re never quite sure whether it’s against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
6) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
7) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
8) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
9) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
10) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
11) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
12) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
13) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
14) You can’t respect a man who carries a dog.
15) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
16) You’ve turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
17) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

 

Ok so it has come to my attention that a (used to be anyway) regular commenter and fan had a birthday with the obligatory party on Sunday last, TO WHICH NEITHER IMPISH OR MYSELF WERE INVITED!  (Can you believe that?!) We didn’t even get saved a slice of cake!

Now our weekend commitments and the logistic would have precluded our participation but the proprieties MUST be observed at all times! Such a slight demands we embarrass the offender by posting notice of this event!

There! I think THAT about covers the slight!

Of course if anyone wants to send us a video of the Restaurant staff at Riscky’s in the Fort Worth Stockyards Train Station standing a top chairs and singing to her, we’ll be just  ecstatic to post that too!

 

Pakistan convicts doctor who helped find bin Laden

CHRIS BRUMMITT, Associated Press, RIAZ KHAN, Associated Press Updated 12:29 p.m., Wednesday, May 23, 2012

PESHAWAR, Pakistan (AP) — A doctor who helped the CIA hunt down Osama bin Laden was convicted Wednesday of conspiring against the state and sentenced to 33 years in prison, adding new strains to an already deeply troubled relationship between the U.S. and Pakistan.

U.S. officials had urged Pakistan to release the doctor, who ran a vaccination program for the CIA to collect DNA and verify the al-Qaida leader’s presence at the compound in the town of Abbottabad where U.S. commandos killed him in May 2011 in a unilateral raid.

The lengthy sentence against Dr. Shakil Afridi will be taken as another sign of Pakistan’s defiance of American wishes. It could give further fuel to critics in the United States that Pakistan — which has yet to arrest anyone for helping shelter bin Laden — should no longer be treated as an ally.

Pakistan’s treatment of Afridi since his arrest following the bin Laden raid has in many ways symbolized the gulf between Washington and Islamabad.

In the United States and other Western nations, Afridi was viewed as a hero who had helped eliminate the world’s most-wanted man. But Pakistan army and spy chiefs were outraged by the raid, which led to international suspicion that they had been harboring the al-Qaida chief. In their eyes, Afridi was a traitor who had collaborated with a foreign spy agency in an illegal operation on its soil.

Afridi, in his 50s, was detained sometime after the raid, but the start of his trial was never publicized.

He was tried under the Frontier Crimes Regulations, or FCR — the set of laws that govern Pakistan’s semiautonomous tribal region. Human rights organizations have criticized the FCR for not providing suspects the right to legal representation, to present material evidence, or to cross-examine witnesses. Verdicts are handled by a government official in consultation with a council of elders.

Afridi was tried in the Khyber tribal region, where he was raised. In addition to the prison term, he was ordered to pay a fine of about $3,500 and is subject to an additional 3½ years in prison if he does not, according to Nasir Khan, a government official in Khyber.

Afridi can appeal the verdict within two months, said Iqbal Khan, another Khyber government official.

An official with Pakistan’s main Inter-Services Intelligence agency said the decision was in Pakistan’s “national interest,” and he dismissed earlier appeals by U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton and other American officials that Afridi should be released. The official did not give his name because the ISI doesn’t allow its operatives to be identified in the media.

Asked in Washington to comment, Pentagon press secretary George Little declined to talk about the specific case, but added: “Anyone who supported the United States in finding Osama bin Laden was not working against Pakistan. They were working against al-Qaida.”

Afridi was working for local health authorities in northwest Pakistan when he began working for the CIA. Nurses working for him reportedly knocked on the door of the compound in Abbottabad, but were not successful in obtaining a sample from the house to confirm bin Laden was living there.

Despite the tensions, most analysts believe the U.S. cannot afford to turn its back on Pakistan entirely.

Pakistan is seen as vital to negotiating a peace deal with the Afghan Taliban and their allies, given the country’s historical ties with the militants. Many in the Pakistani government realize it needs to repair relations with the U.S., partly to receive more than a billion dollars in American aid.

Talat Masood, a retired Pakistani general who is now a defense analyst, said the ISI likely preferred to see Afridi tried under the FCR because it was easier to get a prosecution than in a regular court. He said the verdict may reflect Pakistani annoyance at perceived ill-treatment at the Chicago meeting, but that improved relations could see him released.

“If things go well with the U.S., it’s very likely that he will be pardoned,” he said.

[Excerpted from: This Houston Chronicle Article ]

Yeah right! “If things go well” MY SHRAPNEL RIDDEN ARSE!  When was the LAST time things “went well” between Pakistan and the US where Pakistan actually kept any of its promises or sides on a bargain let alone conducted themselves as a people of honor?

Let’s get something straight, Pakistan’s ONLY friend is Pakistan.  The ONLY people who cannot clearly see that are the imbecilic utter morons in the State Department led by the Wicked Fairy of Liberal Fantasy Hillary (I’ll do anything to be President) Clinton They will con job anyone and everyone they can for as long as they can while repeatedly doing them dirty and stabbing them in the back for as long as they possibly can or as long as it is in their best interest to do so. Pakistani Government and Military officials KNEW where bin Laden was hiding, they could not help but know. BY denying us the intelligence on his location and helping to hide him they aided and abetted an international terrorist and mass murderer!

We need to cut all foreign aid to Pakistan, freeze all Pakistani assets in the US and levy trade sanctions and embargos against them the will force them back into the stone age that they so desperately cling to in their religion.

Then, just to be hissy about it I say we support India’s claim in the U.N. over Pakistan’s to the Kashmir region. NOT that I’m a fan of India either but that shows you how much Pakistan has my ass out of line)

As for Afridi I’d suggest that Pakistan be served an ultimatum, (preferably written on the pages of a Koran in pigs blood and delivered by a dog) hand Afridi over to us, unharmed and in good condition, along with his family, or our much hated unmanned drones are going to take out that military compound down the road from bin Laden’s hide out that was so blind to him being less than 5 miles down the road as well as EVERY suspected military official that was involved in hiding him and then start on the government officials that are suspected of helping in the deception as well! While we’re at it i say arm a few Predators with Pigs Blood bombs and shower a few mosque sites from the air!

Barring that another SEAL TEAM raid should be undertaken to liberate him and bring him to safety.  If the SEALS decline I’m sure there is a FORCE RECON Team who will go get him. No man should be punished for doing the just and moral thing.

Lastly I’m ashamed that the Clowns In Absurdity (the CIA) has not already done something to get this guy out of there and are waiting for someone else ONCE AGAIN to clean up their operational cock up.

Lethal here-

We are posting our Memorial Day issue today so as to be able to enjoy the holiday with our friends and families and have the time to render appropriate honors and thanks to the fallen.

Ok settle down! Lets try to conduct this with the dignity and solemnity the occasion warrants shall we? There will be time enough for the picnicking, Frisbee throwing, sunburn getting and Indy Race watching later.

Impish and I decided to split the duty for this issue then I pulled rank on him after he agreed. I took the opening, he got the Last Word and we both threw a few things into the  the rest of the blog.

Today’s issue will be marked by a lack of several things, humor, bawdy jokes/graphics, witty sarcastic comments by me, jokes at the expense of either of us, political commentary, regarding the upcoming election, blunt honest discussion of the many pressing issues of the day – you know the usual stuff you look forward to and have come to expect from us.

This is not a normal issue, this is one of two issues a year where we honor our Service Men & Women. On Memorial Day we honor the Fallen, those who paid the highest price the high cost of our Freedoms can demand. Come November we will do this again on Veterans Day to honor those who served and by the Grace of the Devine managed to survive. Unlike Veterans Day, the reason behind this holiday is oft overshadowed and lost in the myriad of festivities and events of a three day weekend which is seen traditionally as the first weekend of summer. Impish and I see it as our duty to remind you of the TRUE reason for the holiday and to aid in some small way in remembering our Fallen Military Heroes.

Take some time this weekend and reflect on your freedoms and how many men gave up freely all of their tomorrows, so that you could have your today and enjoy the freedoms that you have… Find a veteran and thank them for their sacrifice, and then thank them for the sacrifice of their friends who never came home or are still missing in action…

God of our fathers, known of old—
Lord of our far-flung battle line—
Beneath whose awful hand we hold
Dominion over palm and pine—
Lord God of Hosts, be with us yet,
Lest we forget—lest we forget!

Recessional, First Verse by Rudyard Kipling

And give thanks to live in the greatest country on Earth, regardless of our feelings about its problems or those in power currently, our nearly 236 year experiment in Democracy while oft imitated has never yet been equaled or surpassed. Just remember we are here to make that boast because of those we remember and honor this day.

 

Here is the most brilliant statement ever made without a word being said!!!!!

This guy was told by his Homeowners Association that he could not fly the American Flag in his yard……

This is his response:

Is this not one of the biggest “Up YOURS!!!”, you’ve ever seen?

Today seemed an fitting day to honor several new inductees into the rolls of The Knights Most Impish of the Leprechaun’s Legion of Loyal Troop Supporters for their selfless service in support of our troops.

We require that Sharon Hyland, Maria Hyland, Wayne Lutz, Michele & Tim Rooney &  present themselves before us.

Sharon Hyland started out alone, standing with a flag at Philadelphia International Airport.

She watched for service members returning home to their families. When she saw one, she offered her thanks.

Seeing shock, gratitude and humility in their eyes, Hyland said, she was hooked. “You get addicted to that feeling,” she said, “and want to do it again and again.”

Hyland is the founder of A Hero’s Welcome, which mobilizes volunteers to welcome home returning soldiers, Marines, sailors, airmen and Coast Guardsmen, and now has chapters around the country. She was inspired after she realized that the Vietnam veterans in Pottstown, Pa.’s annual Fourth of July parade seemed to carry themselves differently than other vets.

“I thought, ‘Shame on us that we ever let our heroes come home from a war without our thanks.’”

Hyland, then 25, began A Hero’s Welcome in 2007. Less than a year later, Vietnam era veteran Wayne Lutz founded the Warriors’ Watch Riders, a “motorcycle-centric group” of veterans and nonveterans who escort returning service members to celebrations.

Today, the Pennsylvania groups both have chapters around the country and often work together. A Hero’s Welcome is the lightning, Hyland said, and the Warriors’ Watch Riders “bring the thunder with their motorcycles.”

“The only thing that draws attention more than a motorcycle,” Lutz said, “is a lot of motorcycles.”

Lutz said the men and women he’s welcomed are “always the same. They’re always extremely humble, [saying] ‘I don’t deserve this.’“ But he tells them, “You do deserve this by the very fact of raising your hand.”

‘It’s amazing.’ When Hyland created A Hero’s Welcome, the U.S. was involved in an unpopular war. She did not want the group to veer into politics. “I wanted people who were out to support the troops, and that was it.”

In September 2007, she organized the first of what would become more than a thousand large-scale welcome home celebrations.

Two young Marines were cheered by hundreds as they stood at the Pottsgrove High School football field in Pottstown, Pa. for the coin toss at a Friday night game.

Aaron Martin, a 2001 graduate of Pottsgrove High School, and Patrick Smith, a 2005 graduate of nearby Boyertown Area High School, had both recently returned from Iraq.

“I thought it was just going to be a bunch of friends at my house. Then I came here, and people are coming out of the woodwork,” said Martin, who had been picked up at the airport hours before the kickoff. “It’s amazing,” he said that night. “I’m enjoying every bit of it.”

Quieter homecomings. The welcome was colder for those who returned from Vietnam. Service members were discouraged from wearing their uniforms in public, Lutz remembers.

“The hatred that that generation had for the war, they transferred that directly to the soldier and blamed him for that,” Lutz said. “No matter what, those troops were giving their lives for a country that didn’t give a damn about them. … It’s a horrible thing for any young kid — and you’re talking young, 18-, 19-year-old kids — to go through that kind of scorn and derision.”

That’s the memory he keeps in mind during every welcome home he joins.

Lutz, of Glenside, Pa., joined the Army in 1972 at age 18 and served for about 10 years, the first six in Germany. He had intended to go to Vietnam, but by the time he finished his training, the war was over.

He said one of his most profound welcoming experiences occurred as he waited for an arriving soldier at Philadelphia International Airport. The Warriors’ Watch Riders and members of A Hero’s Welcome were “lined up on the escalator,” holding a gauntlet of flags.

Lutz spotted a uniformed officer in the next baggage area and went to talk with him. The staff sergeant was escorting the parents of a fallen soldier from Tennessee to Dover, Del., to pick up the body of their son.

“Here we are, greeting a live soldier coming home,” Lutz said, “and on the other side was a soldier coming home in a very different way.”

At the request of families, Hero’s Welcome and the Warriors’ Watch Riders have rallied at the funerals of veterans and those killed in action.

Some soldiers, Lutz said, are unable to handle an exuberant welcome.

“You sit in the arrival area of these airports and you see these soldiers, these children in uniform, they may literally have the dust of Afghanistan on their boots,” Lutz said.

“They’ve come from this sun-bleached, hot environment, where most everyone they meet may want to kill them. The transition home is jarring, and it can be hard for some of them to take.”

‘Sign us up.’ Michele Rooney worried throughout her son’s first deployment in 2008. When he came home, she got just 48 hours of notice that he was flying in from Iraq.

Rooney, of Gilbertsville, Pa., had Hyland’s card on her refrigerator and called her. The women had met by chance months earlier, while helping with a candidate phone bank.

And when Marine Gary Anoushian arrived, he was met by several motorcycles and a large group of supporters from the Warriors’ Watch Riders and A Hero’s Welcome, who had driven through a December snowstorm to honor him.

“To see those people at the airport that were so willing to give of their time and be there to welcome home my son, I immediately felt like, ‘sign us up,’” Rooney said.

Her husband, Tim, owned a motorcycle but had put it up for sale, influenced by her concern for his safety. But seeing the Warriors’ Watch Riders, she decided, “OK, Tim can keep the bike.”

If he helped with the welcome home efforts, “maybe God would protect him because he was riding for such an important cause,” she thought.

The Rooneys began volunteering, and Tim Rooney has since become a ride captain, leading the way for Warriors’ Watch Riders who escort returning service members to celebrations.

On Father’s Day in June 2011, he led dozens of motorcycles that welcomed home his stepson, Anoushian, who was returning after seven months in Afghanistan, his third deployment. Cpl. Anoushian is now serving at Camp Pendleton in California.

Seeing people gather to greet your hero feels amazing, Rooney said, paralleled only by being part of a welcome for someone else’s child.

Her son’s second deployment overseas, for eight months in Afghanistan, was during one of the most deadly periods for U.S. service members. She again feared for his safety, but helping others made a difference.

“We had avenues to focus our energy,” she said. “We felt like we were making use of our time and doing something for our troops.”

Inspired to serve. Hyland, the daughter, sister, granddaughter and niece of Marines, had gone through officer candidate school in 1999 and 2000. But she was injured and sent home before graduation.

Inspired by those she met in the early months of A Hero’s Welcome, she thought, “OK, I’m still young enough and able-bodied enough to serve.”

She re-joined the Marines.

Her mother, Maria Hyland, decided the mission of A Hero’s Welcome was too important to be left undone. She took the baton and ran.

A mother of four, she juggles the requests for celebrations and for help opening new chapters with working full-time in the family business, Hyland Technologies, in Frederick, Pa. She coordinates with Warriors’ Watch Riders for homecomings throughout southeastern Pennsylvania and New Jersey.

“The thing that keeps me going is when you see the hero uniting with their family,” said Hyland, who sometimes goes to such reunions five or more times a week, jetting from city to city or even from state to state.

Now a first lieutenant, Sharon Hyland-Keyser is married to an Army staff sergeant and serves as director of public affairs at Marine Corps Air Station Beaufort in Beaufort, S.C. She’s delighted by how A Hero’s Welcome has grown since she stood alone five years ago.

Because the service of America’s military is never-ending, so too is the work of A Hero’s Welcome and the Warriors’ Watch Riders, Maria Hyland said.

“A lot of people think the war is over; it’s not over,” she said in her Gilbertsville, Pa., home. “We’re here to support the troops, so as long as there’s military, we’re here to support them.”

The Riders have grown to include more than 5,000 members, from New Jersey to Florida to California. Lutz said he disagrees with service members who say they don’t deserve celebrations  — and urges them to take his place someday.

“I always tell them, when I’m dead and they’re old and gray, to pay it forward. You and I know that 40 years from now, there will be another war” — and more men and women laying their lives on the line who will need to be welcomed home.

A Hero’s Welcome: No one should come home without our thanks

http://www.americanhomecomings.com/news/2012/05/03/a-hero%E2%80%99s-welcome-no-one-should-come-home-without-our-thanks/#registercitizen

 In recognition of thy selfless service to the support of our troops we hereby bestow upon Sharon Hyland, Maria Hyland, Wayne Lutz the title of Knight Most Impish of the Leprechaun’s Legion of Loyal Troop Supporters   Arise Dames Sharon & Maria, arise Sir Wayne go ye forth and be thou all good and chivalrous knights, stalwart and steadfast in thy support of our troops and their families. Continue thy good and noble works that none may return from battle in foreign lands and think themselves unappreciated for their noble sacrifice.

Michele & Tim Rooney for they lesser more in keeping with support than vanguard rolls, we doth name you both Noble Squires to the  Knight Most Impish of the Leprechaun’s Legion of Loyal Troop Supporters continue in your fine works that one day we might raise you to the ranks of Dame and Knight.

We require that Chuck “Pappy” Barshney present himself before us.

The Patriot Guard Riders (PGR) is a motorcycle club whose members attend the funerals of US armed forces members, firefighters, and police at the invitation of the deceased’s family. Patriot Guard Riders’ representatives state that they are not a chartered motorcycle club, but a group of with an “unwavering respect for those who risk their lives for America’s freedom and security”

The group was established in Mulvane, Kansas at American Legion Post 136 in 2005 by Chuck “Pappy” Barshney, to shelter and protect the deceased’s family from protesters such as the Westboro Baptist Church, who claim that the deaths of American troops in Iraq and Afghanistan are divine retribution for American tolerance of homosexuality. PGR members position themselves to physically shield the mourners from the presence of the Westboro protesters by blocking the protesters from view with their motorcade, or by having members hold American flags. The group also drowns out the protesters’ chants by singing patriotic songs or by revving motorcycle engines.

Although initially founded by motorcyclists, the organization is open to anyone, regardless of political affiliation, veteran status, or whether they ride or not. The only prerequisite is “a deep respect for those who serve our country; military, firefighters, or law enforcement”.

In recognition of thy selfless service to the support of our troops , the defense of their dignity when they cannot defend it themselves and for the protection of their loved ones from a most foul and craven enemy in their hour of sorrow we hereby bestow upon the title of Knight Most Impish of the Leprechaun’s Legion of Loyal Troop Supporters upon Chuck “Pappy” Barshney.

Pray thou remain kneeling Sir Chuck as we have one more honor for thee. In recognition of your mobilization of Protect and Defense for the Families of Fallen Soldier and insuring their burial with honor as well as thy tireless Battle to thwart the minions of evil called the Westboro Baptist Church we name thee Our Captain-General of the Knights Most Impish in the Defense of the Fallen & Their Families. Arise now our Captain General Sir Chuck go forth and be be thou ever vigilant, a good and chivalrous knight, stalwart and steadfast in thy defense of our troops and their families.. May thy shield barrier of Flags and your might roar of thy Iron Stead never falter in defense of our fallen heroes.

Finally it pleases use to make two further appointments, Will the Board of Directors/Officers for the groups known as ‘A Hero’s Welcome’ & ‘ The Patriot Guard Riders’ approach the dais and receive recognition on behalf of their respective groups?

Both groups are hereby awarded entrance to the rolls of the Hospitaliters Draconis of the Leprechaun’s Legion of Loyal Troop Supporters.

We on behalf of the returning troops- living, wounded and departed, as well as their families, do thank your for your innumerous selfless acts of devotion to them. Go thou forth now, to continue in thy good works in support of our returning wounded hero troops and their families that they may never have cause to doubt our support or gratitude for their service.

 

 

The True Meaning of Memorial Day

R.I.P. Colonel Van T. Barfoot USAR

 

Van T. Barfoot died at the age of 92 on 2 March 2012.

Remember the guy who wouldn’t take the flag down?

You might remember a news story several months ago about a crotchety old man who defied his homeowners association and refused to take down the flagpole on his property and the large flag that flew on it. Now you can find out who, exactly, that old man was.
On June 15, 1919, Van T. Barfoot was born in Edinburg — probably didn’t make much news back then. Twenty-five years later, on May 23, 1944, near Carano , Italy , Van T. Barfoot, who had enlisted in the US Army in 1940, set out to flank German machine gun positions from which fire was coming down on his fellow soldiers. He advanced through a minefield, took out three enemy machine gun positions and returned with 17 prisoners of war.
 If that wasn’t enough for a day’s work, he later took on and destroyed three German tanks sent to retake the machine gun positions.

 

That probably didn’t make much news either, given the scope of the war, but it did earn Van T. Barfoot, who retired as a colonel after also serving in Korea and Vietnam , a Congressional Medal of Honor.

 What did make news was a neighborhood association’s quibble with how the 90-year-old veteran chose to fly the American flag outside his suburban Virginia home. Seems the rules said a flag could be flown on a house-mounted bracket, but, for decorum, items such as Barfoot’s 21-foot flagpole were unsuitable.

 He had been denied a permit for the pole, erected it anyway and was facing court action if he didn’t take it down. Since the story made national TV, the neighborhood association has rethought its position and agreed to indulge this old hero who dwells among them.

 
“In the time I have left I plan to continue to fly the American flag without interference,” Barfoot told The Associated Press. As well he should. And if any of his neighbors still takes a notion to contest him, they might want to read his Medal of Honor citation. It indicates he’s not real good at backing down.

 

No this isn’t at odds with the tone we have set, this is a break, a half time show an intermission. With out one this would soon become mind and emotion numbing. Besides realistically for most of you this is more about the partying than the Fallen Heroes and we recognize that.

Besides honoring/remembering or picnicking/partying ya still gotta eat right? Might as well be tasty.

Since this is posting on Saturday and Memorial Day isn’t until Monday with Sunday being the top picnic day of the weekend (Saturday having been sent dragging all the summer stuff [most importantly that grill!] out of storage & Monday being for Parades & resting up) You should have plenty of time to whip up a batch of these beans!

Bandito Baked Beans

 

From: Campbell’s Kitchen

Prep: 5 minutes
Cook: 15 minutes

Serves: 6

Here’s a great side dish for your next barbecue, open house or buffet…and it’s ready to go in just 20 minutes.  Picante sauce is the ingredient that makes these baked beans especially good….give them a try.

Ingredients:

1 tablespoon vegetable oil

1 medium onion, chopped (about 1/2 cup)

1 cup Pace® Picante Sauce

1/4 cup molasses

1 tablespoon spicy-brown mustard

1 can (about 15 ounces) pork and beans

1 can (about 15 ounces) black beans, rinsed and drained

Directions:

Heat the oil in a 2-quart saucepan over medium heat. Add the onion and cook until it’s tender.

Stir the picante sauce, molasses, mustard, pork and beans and black beans in the saucepan and heat to a boil. Reduce the heat to low. Cook for 5 minutes or until the mixture is hot and bubbling.

It’s Memorial Day. Tradition demands we serve certain mandatory foods including hotdogs and hamburgers. This next recipe takes the oh-hum burger to new heights, and uses the remainder of the picante sauce from the beans up for you if you’re not a picante sauce fan.

Spicy Onion Burgers

From: Campbell’s Kitchen

Prep: 10 minutes
Grill: 10 minutes

Serves: 6

Ordinary hamburgers get kicked up with the simple addition of dry onion soup mix and prepared salsa.  Try them…they’re easy to make and really delicious.

Ingredients:

1 1/2 pounds ground beef

1/2 cup Pace® Picante Sauce

1 envelope (about 1 ounce) dry onion soup and recipe mix [I use the Beefy Onion variety]

6 Pepperidge Farm® Farmhouse™ Premium White Rolls with Sesame Seeds

Lettuce leaves

tomato slices

Avocado slices [Not a fan of avocado? Too pricey where you live? I use those sandwich pickle slices instead]

Directions:

Mix thoroughly the beef, picante sauce and soup mix. Shape firmly into 6 burgers, 1/2-inch thick each.

Lightly oil the grill rack and heat the grill to medium. Grill the burgers for 10 minutes or until desired doneness, turning the burgers over halfway through grilling.

Serve on rolls with lettuce, tomato, avocado and additional picante sauce.

Nutrition Information

Nutritional Values per Serving

Using Pace Picante Sauce: : Calories 339, Total Fat 15g, Saturated Fat 5g, Cholesterol 69mg, Sodium 742mg, Total Carbohydrate 27g, Dietary Fiber 2g, Protein 25g, Vitamin A 1%DV, Vitamin C 0%DV, Calcium 5%DV, Iron 17%DV

Finally tortilla chips, Cheetos and Potato chips are good (Doritos are the best), but the best accompaniment for a burger in my book is fries hands down. Here’s some that you can do up a head of time and grill when ready with no clean up!

Cheddary Pouch Potatoes

From: Campbell’s Kitchen

Pep: 5 minutes
Grill: 25 minutes

Serves: 4

Fire-up the grill to make these scrumptious cheese fries that cook in foil packets on the grill. They’re a favorite side for grilled steak or chicken.

Ingredients:

1 can (10 3/4 ounces) Campbell’s® Condensed Cheddar Cheese Soup

1/4 cup milk

1/2 teaspoon garlic powder

1/4 teaspoon onion powder

4 cups frozen steak fries

Paprika  [Use Taco, Chili seasoning, or Cayenne pepper for a bigger kick]

Directions:

Stir the soup, milk, garlic and onion in a large bowl. Stir in the potatoes.

SPRAY THE FOIL WITH ONE OF THOSE COOKING SPRAYS FOR HIGH TEMPERATURES OR FOR GRILLING!    Trust me I learned this the hard way when all mine were stuck to the foil! Alternative is to wipe the foil with a canola or peanut oiled paper towel.

Place the potato mixture on 4 (14-inch) squares of heavy-duty aluminum foil. Sprinkle with paprika. Fold the foil to make packets.

Heat the grill to medium. Grill the packets for 25 minutes or until the potatoes are tender.

Recipe Tips:

Tip: To bake in the oven: Place the packets on a baking sheet and bake at 350°F. for 25 minutes.

Nutrition Information

Nutritional Values per Serving

Using Campbell’s Cheddar Cheese Soup: : Calories 200, Total Fat 7g, Saturated Fat 3g, Cholesterol 4mg, Sodium 442mg, Total Carbohydrate 30g, Dietary Fiber 4g, Protein 4g, Vitamin A 7%DV, Vitamin C 12%DV, Calcium 4%DV, Iron 0%DV

Dessert? That’s on you guys! However I recommend a walk though your local Veteran’s Cemetery or a visit to your local veterans memorial to walk off some of that lunch before dessert!

 

 

Armed Forces Medley: 2011 National Memorial Day Concert

 

The American Battle Monuments Commission strives to remember those who gave all overseas and never made it home.

Its website tells all about the cemeteries honoring our fighting men and women overseas, in places such as the Ardennes, Belgium, and Manila, Philippines. Those who were never recovered are commemorated on the Tablets of the Missing.

You can order an arrangement of flowers to be placed at one of those sites to honor a friend or loved one. You can also purchase a lithograph of the cemetery or memorial featuring your loved one through the Andrews Project.

It’s a great way to thank those brave members of the military for their service.

www.abmc.gov

Memorial Day – Arlington

 

 

Washington’s Seldom Seen Memorials

Special Tributes To Honor and Bravery

Working with the Smithsonian’s Office of Imaging, Printing and Photographic Services and the National Museum of American History’s Division of Armed Forces History, a team of volunteer Smithsonian Associates led by Smithsonian Photographer Jeff Tinsley assisted the Institution in the photographic documentation of Washington’s Military Memorials.

Over a Memorial Day weekend the team photographed monuments and statues large and small. Many were the well-known symbols of the Nation’s Capitol. But there were also others, usually smaller, lesser known and seldom seen in official guide books. A selection of these special memorials is presented here.

“The Hiker”, a memorial to those who served in the Spanish-American War. This statue depicts an American Soldier of the time, and was erected by veterans of the war. Smithsonian Photo by William McGehee.

The Seabees Memorial at Arlington Cemetery. Seabees is the nickname for the U.S. Navy Construction Battalions (CB’s). Formed during World War II, they were trained in both construction and combat, and built living quarters and naval facilities in the Pacific. Smithsonian Photo by William McGehee.

Military Nurses Statue in Arlington Cemetery dedicated in 1971, “to commemorate devoted service to country and humanity by Army, Navy and Air Force Nurses”. The small American Flag by the statue was placed there in honor of Memorial Day. Smithsonian Photo by Lindsay Downs.

The Battleship Maine Memorial in Arlington National Cemetery. The Maine was sunk in the harbor at Havana, Cuba, in February, 1898 and helped precipitate the start of the Spanish-American War. This monument of the ship’s mast is near the Amphitheater and Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. Smithsonian Photo by Lindsay Downs.

The memorial to the Second Division. Located on Constitution Avenue just off the Ellipse in Washington, this flaming gold sword is passed by thousands of tourists each year. In this photo Memorial Day wreaths honoring those who served have been placed in front of the sculpture. Smithsonian Photo by Dr. Bella J. May.

The Space Shuttle Challenger memorial in Arlington National Cemetery. Dedicated to the crew of The Challenger was destroyed in a fireball shortly after launch in January 1986. This memorial, near the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, depicts the faces of all seven crew. Smithsonian Photo by Dr. Bella J. May.

NOTE: The Photograph at the top of this is of the Custis-Lee House in Arlington Cemetery as seen at dawn from across Memorial Bridge in Washington. This is the main entrance to Arlington Cemetery. Established in 1864, this 200-acre site contains the remains of those who died serving the United States. Smithsonian Photo by Sallie Sprague.

“It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God that such men lived.” General George S. Patton Jr.

If You’re Reading This

 

[Each one of those triangles with 3 stars represents a folded burial flag of a fallen soldier]

Memorial Day Scams Target Military, Families, Supporters

Now pardon my ‘sarcastic & bitter’ attitude and the salty language about this, but shit like this just plain takes a fecking FLAMETHROWER to my relatively short burning fuse!

Memorial Day is a time to honor those who serve and remember those who have died in war. But sadly, it has also become a key opportunity for scammers to target those who are serving or have served their nation, especially elderly veterans. BBB is urging consumers and donors to be on the lookout for deals that seem too good to be true, and for disreputable charities.

“The unique lifestyle of our service members makes them prime targets for scammers,” notes Brenda Linnington, Director of BBB Military Line. “It’s imperative that we educate our service members and ensure that the support we give to them equals the effort they make every day on behalf of us.” Linnington said scams can include those that target service personnel and their families directly, but also those that appear to be helping military members via charities.

“Donors need to watch out for questionable charities that raise funds on behalf of military organizations,” adds Art Taylor, President and CEO of the BBB Wise Giving Alliance. “When you make a donation, always check http://www.give.org to see that the group meets BBB charity standards, especially around Memorial Day. Too many solicitors that fail to meet BBB standards call and say they help veterans, service members or their families, and little of the money donated will serve that purpose.”

Among the scams to watch out for:

· Posing as the Veterans Administration and contacting veterans to say they need to update their credit card, bank or other financial records with the VA;

· Charging service members for services they could get for free or less expensively elsewhere, such as military records;

· Fraudulent investment schemes that convince veterans to transfer their assets into an irrevocable trust;

· Offering “instant approval” military loans (“no credit check,” “all ranks approved”) that can have high interest rates and hidden fees;

· Advertising housing online with military discounts and incentives, and then bilking service personnel out of the security deposit;

· Trying to sell things like security systems to spouses of deployed military personnel by saying the service member ordered it to protect his or her family;

· Selling stolen vehicles at low prices by claiming to be soldiers who need to sell fast because they’ve been deployed;

· Posing as government contractors recruiting veterans and then asking for a copy of the job applicants’ passport (which contains a lot of personal information);

· Posing on online dating services as a lonely service member in a remote part of Iraq or Afghanistan, and then asking for money to be wired to a third party for some emergency.

BBB advises service members, veterans and all consumers never to give personal identification information (Social Security, bank account, military identification or credit card numbers, etc.) to anyone who contacts you by phone or e-mail, and to be wary of any solicitations that involve purchasing something or transferring money. Consumers can check out businesses and charities for free at www.bbb.org.

For more information, visit www.bbb.org/us/military-line.

See what I mean? We made war on the Veterans Administration last year over getting all Commie Liberal PC at Veterans Cemeteries interfering with and/or prohibiting religious observances during burials and we won. This year we need to take these scamming parasitic leeches on and do such a job on them that they would serious consider conning a drug cartel or the mob before ever trying us again!

IF you get one of these called note the number and as much info as you can. Then report it to every law enforcement agency who will give you 5 minutes of ear time. Report them to the BBB. Call your Attorney General’s office your local radio stations, television stations and newspapers and tell them. If one of them isn’t interested make sure to mention how you’ll include their indifference to the plight of Veterans when you tell your other local medias about the story. Lastly write to us and tell us we’ll see it gets posted her and passed to several other bloggers we know.

Lets drag these cockroaches into the bright light, stomp them and do the twist on their dead bodies!

 

Rolling Thunder in HD – Memorial Day Parade, Marines Vigil in Washington D.C.

 

John Philip Sousa’s March, “The Stars and Stripes Forever”

 

 

Keep Me in Your Heart, Warren Zevon

That’s all any of them ever asked, to be remembered

 

Dining in

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Dining in is a formal military ceremony for members of a company or other unit, which includes a dinner, drinking, and other events to foster camaraderie and esprit de corps.

The United States Army, the United States Navy the United States Coast Guard and the United States Air Force refer to this event as a dining in or dining-in. The United States Marine Corps refers to it as mess night. Other names include regimental dinner, guest night, formal mess dinner, and band night.

The dining in is a formal event for all unit members, male and female; though some specialized mess nights can be officer- or enlisted-only. The unit chaplain is usually also invited, if an invocation is needed. A unit’s dining-in consists of only the members of the unit, with the possible exception of the guest(s) of honor. An optional formal dinner, known as the dining-out may include spouses and other guests. The dining-out follows the same basic rules of the dining-in, but is often tailored to minimize some of the military traditions and be more interesting to civilian guests.

“Except for the annual celebration of the Marine Corps Birthday, no social function associated with the smaller of America’s naval services is more enjoyed, admired and imitated than the mess night.”

Formal toasts

Formal toasts are the heart of the formal dining in. A junior officer, known as “Mr Vice”, proposes a toast to the guests, at which the guests remain seated. After this, various parties will offer toasts to the Commander in Chief, to the heads of state of a visiting or host nations, to their branch of service, to the units, and to the fallen members of the military.

The final and most solemn toast is always to fallen comrades. Often this tribute is marked with a display, including an empty table with a white tablecloth, inverted glass, lit candle, blank dog tags, and a symbol representing tears (salt or lemon)

The Table and Place Setting:

• A small table,
• White tablecloth,
• Single place setting, preferably all white,
• Wine glass, inverted,
• Salt shaker,
• Slice of lemon on bread plate with a pile of spilled salt,
• Small bud vase with a single stem red rose,
• RED ribbon tied around the vase,
• Candle – lit, 
• Empty chair.
• Bible or other appropriate Book of Faith
• Blank dog tags

“You may have noticed the small table set for one that is off on its own – it is reserved to honor our fallen comrades in arms. This symbolizes that they are with us, here in spirit. We should never forget the brave men and women who answered our nation’s call [to serve] and served the cause of freedom in a special way. We are ever mindful that the sweetness of enduring peace has always been tainted by the bitterness of personal sacrifice. We are compelled to never forget that while we enjoy our daily pleasures, there are others who have endured the agonies of pain, deprivation and death.

I would like to explain the meaning of the items on this special table.

• The table is round – to show our everlasting concern for our fallen comrades.
• The tablecloth is white – symbolizing the purity of their motives when answering the call to duty.
• The single red rose, displayed in a vase, reminds us of the life of each of our fallen comrades, and the loved ones and friends of these comrades who keep the faith.
• The vase is tied with a red ribbon, symbol of our continued determination to remember our fallen comrades.
• A slice of lemon on the bread plate is to remind us of the bitter fate of those who will never return.
• A pinch of salt symbolizes the tears endured by the families of those who have sacrificed all.
• The Holy Book represents the strength gained through faith to sustain those lost from our country.
• The glass is inverted, they cannot toast with us at this time.
• The chair is empty because they are no longer with us.

Toast to Fallen Comrades:

“Let us give thanks for the many blessings we have received. Let us give thanks for the security of our Country and for the freedoms we enjoy and experience every day. However, let us also remember the great price that has been paid for that freedom too many times.

We knew them. They lived, they felt, they were as vibrant, as energetic, as immortal as you and I. They were brave. They fell for peace and for freedom in the service of their country. Many may argue about the futility of death and of war, but one should never forget that they died, not in vain, but in honor.

Many times down through the years our country has called, and many men and women have answered the call. Let us not forget our fallen comrades, but remember them always, for they have earned our respect and admiration with their lives.

We knew them, we’ll remember them, and they will not be forgotten.

Let us remember – and never forget their sacrifice.

May they and their families ever be watched over and protected.

To our fallen comrades!”

This toast we never drink.

Time to see Memorial Day from an entirely different perspective now.

Who ever titled this and made the comment ‘these Marines were being awesome’ is dead wrong. They were just being Marines. Showing their respect for and paying their tribute to a fallen brother.

 

Impish will now favor us with a few final thoughts on the subject of the true Memorial Day.

Memorial Day, originally called Decoration Day, is a day of remembrance for those who have died in our nation’s service. There are many stories as to its actual beginnings, with over two dozen cities and towns laying claim to being the birthplace of Memorial Day. There is also evidence that organized women’s groups in the South were decorating graves before the end of the Civil War: a hymn published in 1867, “Kneel Where Our Loves are Sleeping” by Nella L. Sweet carried the dedication “To The Ladies of the South who are Decorating the Graves of the Confederate Dead” (Source: Duke University’s Historic American Sheet Music, 1850-1920). (Hence the Decoration Day moniker.) While Waterloo N.Y. was officially declared the birthplace of Memorial Day by President Lyndon Johnson in May 1966, it’s difficult to prove conclusively the origins of the day. It is more likely that it had many separate beginnings; each of those towns and every planned or spontaneous gathering of people to honor the war dead in the 1860’s tapped into the general human need to honor our dead, each contributed honorably to the growing movement that culminated in Gen Logan giving his official proclamation in 1868. It is not important who was the very first, what is important is that Memorial Day was established. Memorial Day is not about division. It is about reconciliation; it is about coming together to honor those who gave their all. (It’s not an excuse for a damn party!)(Unless, of course, it is a party in the tradition of the New Orleans Jazz funerals where you would throw a party and celebrate when a friend has moved on to a “better place”. Quite often the tradition of lifting a toast for absent friends or brothers in arms who’ve passed on before us has an extensive history in the military forces. I know for a fact in the corporate offices of Dragon and Leprechaun Laffs Electronic Media there will be more than one glass lifted in memory of fallen friends.)

Memorial Day was officially proclaimed on 5 May 1868 by General John Logan, national commander of the Grand Army of the Republic, in his General Order No. 11, and was first observed on 30 May 1868, when flowers were placed on the graves of Union and Confederate soldiers at Arlington National Cemetery. The first state to officially recognize the holiday was New York in 1873. By 1890 it was recognized by all of the northern states. The South refused to acknowledge the day, honoring their dead on separate days until after World War I (when the holiday changed from honoring just those who died fighting in the Civil War to honoring Americans who died fighting in any war). It is now celebrated in almost every State on the last Monday in May (passed by Congress with the National Holiday Act of 1971 (P.L. 90 – 363) to ensure a three day weekend for Federal holidays), (because that three day weekend is so much more important than what the holiday is REALLY for!) though several southern states have an additional separate day for honoring the Confederate war dead: January 19 in Texas, April 26 in Alabama, Florida, Georgia, and Mississippi; May 10 in South Carolina; and June 3 (Jefferson Davis’ birthday) in Louisiana and Tennessee.

In 1915, inspired by the poem “In Flanders Fields,” Moina Michael replied with her own poem:

She then conceived of an idea to wear red poppies on Memorial Day in honor of those who died serving the nation during war. She was the first to wear one, and sold poppies to her friends and co-workers with the money going to benefit servicemen in need. Later a Madam Guerin from France was visiting the United States and learned of this new custom started by Ms. Michael and when she returned to France, made artificial red poppies to raise money

for war orphaned children and widowed women. This tradition spread to other countries. In 1921, the Franco-American Children’s League sold poppies nationally to benefit war orphans of France and Belgium. The League disbanded a year later and Madam Guerin approached the VFW for help. Shortly before Memorial Day in 1922 the VFW became the first veterans’ organization to nationally sell poppies. Two years later their “Buddy” Poppy program was selling artificial poppies made by disabled veterans. In 1948 the US Post Office honored

Ms. Michael for her role in founding the National Poppy movement by issuing a red 3 cent postage stamp with her likeness on it.

Traditional observance of Memorial Day has diminished over the years. Many Americans nowadays have forgotten the meaning and traditions of Memorial Day. At many cemeteries, the graves of the fallen are increasingly ignored, neglected. Most people no longer remember the proper flag etiquette for the day. While there are towns and cities that still hold Memorial Day parades, many have not held a parade in decades. Some people think the day is for honoring any and all dead, and not just those fallen in service to our country.

There are a few notable exceptions. Since the late 50’s on the Thursday before Memorial Day, the 1,200 soldiers of the 3d U.S. Infantry place small American flags at each of the more than 260,000 gravestones at Arlington National Cemetery. They then patrol 24 hours a day during the weekend to ensure that each flag remains standing. In 1951, the Boy Scouts and Cub Scouts of St. Louis began placing flags on the 150,000 graves at Jefferson Barracks National Cemetery as an annual Good Turn, a practice that continues to this day. More recently, beginning in 1998, on the Saturday before the observed day for Memorial Day, the Boys Scouts and Girl Scouts place a candle at each of approximately 15,300 grave sites of soldiers buried at Fredericksburg and Spotsylvania

National Military Park on Marye’s Heights (the Luminaria Program). And in 2004, Washington D.C. held its first Memorial Day parade in over 60 years.

To help re-educate and remind Americans of the true meaning of Memorial Day, the “National Moment of Remembrance” resolution was passed on Dec 2000 which asks that at 3 p.m. local time, for all Americans “To voluntarily and informally observe in their own way a Moment of remembrance and respect, pausing from whatever they are doing for a moment of silence or listening to ‘Taps.”

The Moment of Remembrance is a step in the right direction to returning the meaning back to the day. What is needed is a full return to the original day of observance. Set aside one day out of the year for the nation to get together to remember, reflect and honor those who have given their all in service to their country.

But what may be needed to return the solemn, and even sacred, spirit back to Memorial Day is for a return to its traditional day of observance. Many feel that when Congress made the day into a three-day weekend in with the National Holiday Act of 1971, it made it all the easier for people to be distracted from the spirit and meaning of the day. As the VFW stated in its 2002 Memorial Day address: “Changing the date merely to create three-day weekends has undermined the very meaning of the day. No doubt, this has contributed greatly to the general public’s nonchalant observance of Memorial Day.”

On January 19, 1999 Senator Inouye introduced bill S 189 to the Senate which proposes to restore the traditional day of observance of Memorial Day back to May 30th instead of “the last Monday in May”. On April 19, 1999 Representative Gibbons introduced the bill to the House (H.R. 1474). The bills were referred the Committee on the Judiciary and the Committee on Government Reform.

To date, there have been no further developments on the bill. Please write your Representative and your Senators, urging them to support these bills.

Memorial Day is a day to remember our fallen in arms.

Isn’t it?

Isn’t that what it said above? I could’ve sworn…let me go back…yup, that’s exactly right. “…a day of remembrance for those who have died in our nation’s service.”

But, if you do a simple Google search for Memorial Day weekend you find a ton of sites like the Best of The Best Concert in Miami, 15 Ways To Celebrate Memorial Day Chicago Style, the opening of pools, beaches and the official start of the summer holiday season, and “The Greatest Spectacle in Racing” the “Largest Outdoor Sporting Event”, yes, ladies and gentleman, I’m talking about the Indianapolis 500 car race! Such an important Memorial Day Event mustn’t be forgotten … because it’s … because it’s so … um… it’s so Memorial.

Yeah, right. If you believe that, I’ve got a bridge to sell you. Low mileage, hardly used.

Memorial Day is a time to remember those stalwart souls who not only wrote the check, but had it cashed, as well.

“What check?” you ask.

“Really?” says I. You’ve never heard the most favorite of quotes: A veteran is someone who, at one point in his/her life, wrote a blank check made payable to “The United States of America,” for an amount of “up to and including my life.”

The check was cashed, many, many times and it’s our responsibility, our DUTY to pay the interest on those checks. And one way we can do so is to take the one day of the year set aside for the purpose of remembering our fallen comrades and treating the day with the solemnity it deserves.

So, on 28 May 2012, at 1500 hrs local time (that’s 3 p.m. for you civilian types) I would like, and I request that each and every camper out there bow their heads for a moment of silence. Shut off the damn televisions, the radios, the stereos and the gab box affixed to the front of most of our heads. If you have the capabilities of playing taps then that would be mighty nice.  [Taps is thoughtfully supplied for you by Lethal as provided by the Marine Corps band at the conclusion of Impish’s remarks]

And then, just to be special amongst ourselves, let’s do the same thing again on 30 May because that’s the day that it is supposed to be on. Maybe enough people following suit on the 30^th might get it into the heads of the powers that be to change the day back to where it belongs.

The only way to make sure this day is brought back to what it was intended is for it to start somewhere. And if it’s going to start somewhere why not with us?

Why shouldn’t we be the ones to remember the day for what it is meant to be? Why shouldn’t we be the ones to shout it from the roof tops?

Tune in next week for a report on what we did for Memorial Day and please, write to us and tell us what you did to remember our fallen heroes.

Cheers my friends!

 

YES those were my skinnier more spy and spritely days. NO its not an Irish jig I’m dancing,  it was the 80’s, I’d just seen Travolta in ‘Saturday Night Fever’ and was practicing my Disco moves.

 

 

A Scene at City Hall in San Francisco

 

“Next.”

“Good morning. We want to apply for a marriage license.”

“Names?”

“Tim and Jim Jones.”

“Jones? Are you related? I see a resemblance.”

“Yes, we’re brothers.”

“Brothers? You can’t get married.”

“Why not? Aren’t you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?”

“Yes, thousands. But we haven’t had any siblings. That’s incest!”

“Incest?” No, we are not gay.”

“Not gay? Then why do you want to get married?”

“For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other. Besides, we don’t have any other prospects.”

“But we’re issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples who’ve been denied equal protection under the law. If you are not gay, you can get married to a woman.”

“Wait a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as I have. But just because I’m straight doesn’t mean I want to marry a woman. I want to marry Jim.”

“And I want to marry Tim, Are you going to discriminate against us just because we are not gay?”

“All right, all right. I’ll give you your license.

Next.”

“Hi. We are here to get married.”

“Names?”

“John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June Johnson.”

“Who wants to marry whom?”

“We all want to marry each other.”

“But there are four of you!”

“That’s right. You see, we’re all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert, Jane loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves June and me. All of us getting married together is the only way that we can express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship.”

“But we’ve only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples.”

“So you’re discriminating against bisexuals!”

“No, it’s just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is that it’s just for couples.”

“Since when are you standing on tradition?”

“Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere.”

“Who says? There’s no logical reason to limit marriage to couples. The more the better. Besides, we demand our rights! The mayor says the constitution guarantees equal protection under the law. Give us a marriage license!”

“All right, all right.

Next.”

“Hello, I’d like a marriage license.”

“In what names?”

“David Deets.”

“And the other man?”

“That’s all. I want to marry myself.”

“Marry yourself? What do you mean?”

“Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality, so I want to marry the two together. Maybe I can file a joint income-tax return.”

“That does it! I quit!! You people are making a mockery of marriage!!”

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                                                     

                                                                                                        

Maybe they mean it’s not wearing any bottoms?         

In my house Molly takes them all to work with her! 

                                                                                                           

                                                                                         

Or our President and Government!                

 

 

 

THE LAW IS THE LAW So “if” the US government determines that it is against the law for the words “under God” to be on our money, then, so be it

And “if” that same government decides that the “Ten Commandments” are not to be used in or on a government installation, then, so be it.

I say, “so be it,” because I would like to be a law abiding US citizen.

I say, “so be it,” because I would like to think that smarter people than I are in positions to make good decisions.

I would like to think that those people have the American public’s best interests at heart.

BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I’D LIKE?

Since we can’t pray to God, can’t Trust in God and cannot post His Commandments in Government buildings, I don’t believe Government (Federal, State and Local) and its employees should participate in Easter and Christmas celebrations which honor the God that our government is eliminating from many facets of American life.

I’d like my mail delivered on Christmas, Good Friday, Thanksgiving & Easter. After all, it’s just another day.

I’d like the” US Supreme Court to be in session on Christmas, Good Friday, Thanksgiving & Easter as well as Sundays.” After all, it’s just another day.

I’d like the Senate and the House of Representatives to not have to worry about getting home for the “Christmas Break.” After all it’s just another day.

I’m thinking a lot of my taxpayer dollars could be saved, if all government offices & services would work on Christmas, Good Friday & Easter. It shouldn’t cost any overtime since those would be just like any other day of the week to a government that is trying to be “politically correct.”

In fact….I think our government should work on Sundays (initially set aside for worshipping God….) because, after all, our government says that it should be just another day….

What do you all think? If this idea gets to enough people, maybe our elected officials will stop giving in to the “minority opinions” and begin, once again, to represent the “majority” of ALL of the American people.

SO BE IT………..Please Dear Lord, Give us the help needed to keep you in our country! ‘Amen’ and ‘Amen’ Touché!

 

You Ever Have One of Those Days?

 

The Top 5 Signs Your Computer Has a Virus

5> Your screen saver now shows Pamela Anderson at home with
the flu.

4> Pus between the keys, pus in the optical drives, and pus
oozing out of the monitor — it’s either a virus, or Impish Dragon has been using it without your permission again.

3> Your web browser just tossed its cookies.

2> Dell customer service recommends the “nighttime, freezing, rebooting, up-locking, destroying, hosed-drive, deleted so
you can buy a new PC medicine.”

and The Number 1 Sign Your Computer Has a Virus…

 

1> Your dancing hamsters are all dead.

[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com  Copyright 2000 by Chris White ]

 

 

 

Skechers To Pay $40 Million In Refunds To Settle Federal Charges Of False Claims That Shape-Ups Improve Appearance

 May 16, 2012 By George Gombossy CT Watchdog

 Consumers Who Bought Shape-ups, Other Toning Shoes Will Be Eligible for Refunds

 If you got sucked into buying a pair of Skechers Toning Shoes believing that they would help you lose weight, strengthen and tone your buttocks, legs and abdominal muscles, you can get a refund, courtesy of the Federal Trade Commission.

You can  submit a claim here.

It announced today that  Skechers USA, Inc. has agreed to pay $40 million to settle charges that the company deceived consumers by making unfounded claims that Shape-ups would help people lose weight, and strengthen and tone their buttocks, legs and abdominal muscles

Besides Shape-ups, Skechers also made deceptive claims about its Resistance Runner, Toners, and Tone-ups shoes, the FTC alleged. Consumers who bought these “toning” shoes will be eligible for refunds either directly from the FTC or through a court-approved class action lawsuit, and  The settlement with the FTC is part of a broader agreement, also being announced today resolving a multi-state investigation, which was led by the Tennessee and Ohio Attorneys General Offices and included attorneys general from 42 other states and the District of Columbia.

“Skechers’ unfounded claims went beyond stronger and more toned muscles. The company even made claims about weight loss and cardiovascular health,” said David Vladeck, Director of the FTC’s Bureau of Consumer Protection. “The FTC’s message, for Skechers and other national advertisers, is to shape up your substantiation or tone down your claims.”

Connecticut was one of 42 states and the District of Columbia involved in the settlement. Connecticut consumers who have complaints about unsubstantiated health or advertising claims or any consumer matter should contact the Office of the Attorney General at  860-808-5400. Assistant Attorney General Thomas Saadi handled this matter for the Attorney General.

The settlement with the Manhattan Beach, California-based Skechers is part of the FTC’s ongoing effort to stop overhyped advertising claims, and follows a similar settlement with Reebok International Ltd. last year.

www.ftc.gov/skechers gives consumers the basic facts about the Skechers settlement and directs them to file for a refund if they are eligible.

Read the rest of the article here

This is 100% true! NO joke! I know for a fact several people have gotten their refunds already, including Impish!

(YES, that last part WAS a joke, they did not come in a  ‘3 toed Giant Lizard Extra Double Wide’ size!)

Kind of like our readership!

The Quote of the Decade:????

The fact that we are here today to debate raising America’s debt limit is a sign of leadership failure. It is a sign that the US Government cannot pay its own bills. It is a sign that we now depend on ongoing financial assistance from foreign countries to finance our Government’s reckless fiscal policies. Increasing America’s debt weakens us domestically and internationally. Leadership means that, “the buck stops here.’ Instead, Washington is shifting the burden of bad choices today onto the backs of our children and grandchildren. America has a debt problem and a failure of leadership. Americans deserve better.????? ~ Senator Barack H. Obama, March 2006

Pass it on ’till eternity.. (…it was so nice of him to give us this great quote for posterity!)  SO, USE IT!!!

SEX IN THE SHOWER

In a recent survey commissioned by President Obama, African-Americans have proven to be the most likely to have had sex in the shower.

The survey was carried out for Obama by a leading soap and toiletries firm. The results revealed that 86% of African-Americans said that they have had sex in the shower.

The remaining 14% said they haven’t been to prison yet.

Sort of brings tears to your eyes!

Impish was SUPPOSED to cover this topic Saturday and dropped the ball. No real surprise there, unless you count the fact that he actually dropped it as opposed to eating it!

The more observant of you may have noticed a few subtle changes here at DragonLaffs. Our boring green background has been replaced by (for the moment) a waving flag. The will hopeful continue to change with the season and holiday, providing I can locate appropriate graphics that work with WordPress’s free version, not generally so easy a task.

We have also instituted an extremely simple feedback mechanism for those of you who are comments section challenged/fearful or just short of time. You can vote your approval of individual issues now with a simple, single solitary mouse click!

The location is shown above and its in the same place for every issue. You can select from one to 5 stars when you vote how good the issue is. From this we can help to figure out what works and what does not so we can continue to improve the blog and grow our readership.

We ask that you take the micro seconds it requires to vote and do so for each issue. Help us make your DragonLaffs experience more enjoyable by voting every issue.

Impish kindly sent me the comments of Saturdays two guest rants ahead of their publication and asked me if I wanted to add any thoughts to them. We oft do this with hot button topics, larger issues or things that we fell quite passionately about one way or the other. Sometimes we’re in lock step sometime one of us chooses to play devils advocate to the other’s position. However this time I decided I was not getting Dragon conned into writing Impish’s Last Word for Saturday based on guest ranter Tom’s comments. I think my comments on abortion are sufficiently beyond the narrow scope of pro-life/pro-choice enough to warrant full coverage here in a Parting Shot.

In this particular case, I am very happy I am a Centrists instead of Liberal/Conservative or Left/Right Winged because both sides are full of crap right up to the eyeballs of their respective party animal icons when it comes to this subject!

They are pawns being used for deception in a game of much larger import. One side is being duped into doing the church’s bidding, though NOT for the reasons it thinks while the other side is defending the right answer, abet for an incomplete reason! Worst of all neither side understand the gravity of this war or what the REAL stakes are!

For 2000 plus years there was a thing called “Moon tea” to prevent the problem or to rid you of it. This was the norm it was universally accepted practice suddenly there is a new religion on the block, the Catholics and they need numbers for their church to survive & grow, so WHAM! everyone is WRONG for the last 2000 years about terminating unwanted pregnancies while God was hiding and not making his will &/or thoughts on the subject readily apparent. I have a problem with that sort of shit and by that I mean just how flexible and often Catholic doctrine and rules conveniently are as long as it favors the needs of the church.  If they don’t like it they’ll seek to have it outlawed, banned or otherwise regulated out of use. If they cannot make you forget about it they’ll drop a Holy Day on it and brand it as their own. IF their own rank and file balk at it, they’ll update it and relax it or “modernize” it to make it more palatable to them just so long as they maintain control over you. However that’s an entirely different subject from the one we are discussing today

The root of the Abortion issue being about the Pro-life/Pro-choice issue in analogous to the mistaken belief that the Civil War was fought about slavery. (Actually the root issue of the Civil War was that of State’s Rights for those of you who thought it WAS about Slavery. Slavery was simply the “Poster Child” issue the North chose because it was far easier to raise support for a war to abolish slavery than for one to in force the will of the Federal Government on the Governments of all the states. One sounds humanitarian, civilized and morally righteous while the other draconian, dictatorial and oppressive. Which one would you support?)

It’s in fact a cover for deeper issues meant to appease the limited intellect and whitewash the greater underlying issue hopefully making it more palatable the the unwashed masses because NOBODY  at the top of the two warring factions wants the light of attention shined on the REALLY issue, which is who gets to run your life because neither side thinks you are capable of doing it yourself and that you need to be protected from you even at the expense of the Constitution and your rights.

These two warring factions I am talking about are big brother the Federal Government or big brother the Catholic Church.

Everyone rages against Sharia law, especially the Vatican and the Catholic church which I find to be as hypocritical as I do comical. Why? Because what the Catholics want it basically the same thing– except instead of the Law according to the Koran/Mohammad as interpreted by the Imams they’d prefer the 10 Commandments/Bible as interpreted by the Vatican.

At least the Koran as been more or less unchanged since its writing some 1380 years ago. The Bible has between 8 and 12 versions depending on your source of information which includes various version revisions and translations. Additionally not all the alleged “books of the Bible” are included in the current Bible. The Old Testament portion of the Bible is not even of original Christian authorship but rather was plagiarized and altered to suit Christianity’s Doctrine from the Jewish Tanach.

My point is that while the teaching of Mohammad expressed by the Koran are pretty much verbatim of their original internet (and therefore if one believes the word of Allah recorded as whispered in the ear/mind of Mohammad) sans shading revision adaptation or interpretation. The same thing cannot be said for ANY PART of the Bible. The Bible is simply what the hierarchy of the Catholic Church wants the word of God to be. Right there that makes Catholic Law suspect to me. We’ll not the fact that like Muslims who would openly impose Sharia Law on everyone Muslim and non Muslim alike while the Catholic Church seeks to do it in a Puppet Master fashion from the shadows by attempting to force the government to pass Canon laws under the guise of secular ones thereby accomplishing the same effect just under a veil pretense of Separation of Church and State. A separation I might add that the Church seems extremely bent on maintaining as a one way thing and pushing the boundary of to their benefit and most of America’s detriment as far as possible

The same effect as Sharia Law? YES. If an Anti-abortion law passed, every female would be legally required  to give up their right of self determination over  their own lives and bodies in favor of a law forced on them by the Catholic Church IRREGARDLESS of their religious preference, personal convictions and Constitutionally assured right of the separation of church and state, to say nothing of their right to worship as they choose and see fit! Sound familiar? Abet on a lesser scale (hey everything has to have a starting/tipping point) you have the same effect as Sharia Law. Laws and rule make by a religious faction, enforced by the state and applied to everyone Muslim or not.

WHAT IS REALLY AT STAKE HERE IS THE INTEGRITY OF THE CONSTITUTION (SEPERATION OF CHURCH AND STATE) YOUR RIGHT TO WORSHIP (OR NOT WORSHIP) FREELY, AND YOUR “GOD GIVEN INALIENABLE RIGHTS, NAMELY LIFE LIBERTY (WHICH INCLUDES YOU RIGHT TO CHOSE YOUR OWN DESTINY AND COURSE OF ACTION) AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS (PRESUMABLY THE FOUNDING FATHERS HAD YOUR HAPPINESS IN MIND NOT THAT OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH AND THE MORAL MINORITY).

LASTLY I think that the issue is between the individual person, their conscience and their vision/version of God and NOBODY ELSE! SUPPOSEDLY we were given a thing (by God) called FREE WILL, the power to choose to sin or not to sin and we accept a price for this gift, having to answer for and accept the consequences of our actions and God’s judgment of them NOT Churches, States or Federal governments. Again that is SUPPPOSED to be between the individual and is God at his time of final judgment. Clergy are supposed to be there to help you make informed choices and council you while you do. NOT to legislate your choices right out the damned window in favor of their doctrine with wanton disregard for your religious preferences, beliefs, civil or human rights.

Sorry if this Parting Shot has sounded ‘sarcastic and bitter’ ( I put that there because we had a commenter that apparently does not know the meaning of the 3 “C’ words most oft used even by me to describe me in this blog, namely, caustic, cantankerous and curmudgeonly) but Big Brother in the sandals and coweled robe wavy his holy symbol frantically at me  demanding I respect him his religion and his right to Separation of Church & State when I suggest treating him as a corporation and making him not only pay taxes but subject to all the same political & election laws as corporations while he attempts to pass laws governing my life pisses me off as bad as big brother in the black governmental suit. In fact probably MORE so because at least I participated in the election of some those who wind up as Big Government Brother.

I AM THE LETHAL LEPRECHAUN and while I MAY be headed to hell in my custom coach worked hand basket, I’m going there for having exercised my GOD GIVEN RIGHTS OF FREE WILL AND SELF DETERMINATION not because some religious minority federally legislated my Constitutional Assured rights which I have fought to defend way! Sit still for this and ONE DAY you’ll be reading a headline like this:

Pakistan blocks Twitter amid blasphemy fears

Twitter closed after it refused to remove tweets promoting a page urging people to post images of prophet Muhammad

or this

Pakistan restores Twitter after a day of blocking

Pakistan restored their access to Twitter on Monday after blocking the popular microbloging site due to posting of content that deemed an affront to Muslims

or this

Pakistan censors Twitter: all may not be what it seems

Summary: Was the Pakistani Twitter shutdown just about squelching free speech over an art contest, or was there potentially something more?  https://www.zdnet.com/blog/government/pakistan-censors-twitter-all-may-not-be-what-it-seems/11265

(you REALLY want to skin that last one because there is current legislation pending in the US that could be used to make the same scenario painted in the article an actual fact here, but that again is a whole another subject for another time).)

However when you see that story here if we allow the Camel with the Cross on its nose to put its head in the tent of successfully legislated restrictions based on religious mores the story will NOT read ‘Pakistan’ it will read United States or ‘Catholic Church’ and the issue will not be Muslim religion either!

I strongly urge you to protect your God given Constitutionally protected rights from usurpation by the Moral Minority by belting the Cross nosed Camel SQUARE in the muzzle, keeping his nose, his head, his eyelashes or any other damned body part out of the tent of our personal freedoms before you find he OWNS your freedom!

Until we meet again Saturday for our annual Memorial Day Combined Lepra-Dragon-chaun Issue

Good Morning Campers!  What an issue we have put together for you today!  Lots of funny stuff, a couple of letters and comments from readers, stuff to make you laugh, stuff to make you mad, stuff to make you want to stand up and shout.  But, most importantly, we hope there is stuff here to make you want to put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard, and send us back some comments, feedback, or rants of your own.  We look forward to hearing from you.

The poor dragon is working again this weekend.  I can’t remember the last time that I had a day off, but I’ve got a dozen irons in the fire and I guess someone’s got to take care of them all.  I keep telling myself, it’s a damn good thing I love my job.  I’ve said it so many times I’ve about got myself convinced.

Lethal Leprechaun needs to hurry up and win the lottery so he can afford to  hire me away from my current employer (The Dept of Defense) and we can afford to do this full time!

Ahhh, the things that dreams are made of…

And speaking of dreams, let’s get this dreamy issue on the road…

10 Political and Economic Imponderables that Should Drive You Crazy

2. Only in America could people claim that the government still discriminates against black Americans when we have a black President, a black Attorney General, and a federal workforce that is roughly 18% black when the black population is only 12%.

3. Only in America could we have had the two people most responsible for our tax code — Timothy Geithner, the head of the Treasury Department and Charles Rangel who once ran the Ways and Means Committee — turn out to be tax cheats who are in favor of higher taxes.

4. Only in America can we have terrorists kill people in the name of Allah and have the media primarily react by fretting that Muslims might be harmed by the backlash.

5. Only in America would we make people who want to legally become American citizens wait for years in their home countries and pay tens of thousands of dollars for the privilege while we discuss letting anyone who sneaks into the country illegally just become American citizens.

6. Only in America could the people who believe in balancing the budget and sticking by the country’s Constitution be thought of as “extremists.”

8. Only in America could people demand the government investigate whether oil companies are gouging the public because the price of gas went up when the return on equity invested in a major U.S. oil company (Marathon Oil) is less than half of what a company that manufactures sports shoes and apparel (Nike) makes.

9. Only in America could the government collect more tax dollars from the people than any nation in recorded history, still spend a trillion dollars more than it has per year for total spending ($7 million PER MINUTE), and complain that it doesn’t have nearly enough money.

10. Only in America could the rich people who pay 86% of all income taxes be accused of not paying their “fair share” by people who don’t pay any income taxes at all.

I was in a pub last night and saw two “girls of size” (as
Political Correctness now requires us to say) by the bar.
They both spoke with a very strong brogue accent, and making
assumptions about their origins I said,
“Hello, are you two girls from Scotland ??”
One of them screamed, “It’s WALES you freaking idiot!!”
So I immediately apologized and said……..
“Sorry, are you two whales from Scotland ??”
I don’t remember too much after that !!

And although we try very hard NOT to pick on fat people, (two reasons mostly, #1 because it’s quite impolite to pick on anyone because of a physical difference and #b, because I myself am quite the fluffy dragon) but we use any and all ammunition at had to chastise stupidity!

And I hear that song in the background….
”Me and Mrs…Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones, Mrs Jones…
We got a thing…
Going on…”

This is great!  Lots of fun.  How to survive the coming robot uprising.
http://www.makeuseof.com/tech-fun/how-to-survive-a-robot-uprising/

Stuff that you didn’t know, that you didn’t know

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

Coca-Cola was originally green.

The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work:
Alaska

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%
(now get this…)

The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven:
$ 16,400

The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour:
61,000

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair..

The first novel ever written on a typewriter, Tom Sawyer.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades – King David
Hearts – Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds – Julius Caesar

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn’t added until 5 years later.

Q.. If you were to spell out numbers,
how far would you have to go until you
would find the letter ‘A’?
A. One thousand

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers have in common?
A. All were invented by women.

Q. What is the only food that doesn’t spoil?
A. Honey

Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?
A. Father’s Day

Today’s reader’s comments come from Tom, a long time reader of Dragon Laffs and one who is incensed enough to sent us his rant.  Take it away Tom:

I just heard the liberals pissing and moaning as usual. This time about abortion and what a good thing it is. They say abortion is a right and America needs it. A woman should have the choice.

Did I forget something? I think a woman does have a choice and so does a man. The unborn legalized murder victim has no choice. If you are old enough to Fuck, you are old enough to know what happens. I think it’s called reproduction and it wasn’t invented by liberals nor should it be aborted by them. If you can’t keep your legs together, or your dick in your pants, go to the doctor or pharmacy and get something called a contraceptive and shove it in, up, or over the right place. It just might prevent the killing of an unborn human and keep you from getting a disease that you probably are asking for anyway.

If you think abortion is such a good thing, ask your parents why they didn’t do it to you. Maybe they should have and you wouldn’t be thinking of spawning only for your own pleasure and destruction of life.

While I’m here I only want to ask one more question. If the Obama plan of spreading the wealth around is so good and working to improve America, why are 110 % more people on food stamps now and the country is broke? Okay that could be two questions. See it’s even affected my math skills. Awful ain’t it?

Tom, to start, let me say that I agree with you.  Whole-heartedly.  Although I do agree with a woman’s right to have a choice, the only times that I can see her exercising the abortion choice is for criminal or medical reasons.  To be more blunt, if she is raped, which produces a child or her life is in danger to continue the pregnancy, then she should have a choice in whether or not to allow the child to gestate to birth.  The original choice has been taken from her. Otherwise, she’s made her choice, by having sex and needs to accept the responsibilities of that choice.
But, the abortion battle, like the gay marriage (as we see it as a hot topic now) discussion will always be a hot topic around election time.  And you can bet that the side of the fence that one (a political one) falls on will have more to do with how many votes it will bring him, then it will with how he (or she) actually feels about it, not to mention what is truly right or wrong.
It is enough to make a sane person screw up simple math skills.
Thanks for the rant and thanks for writing in.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control at Charles de Gaulle  Airport.

“Nationality?”, asks the immigration officer.

“German”, she replies.

“Occupation?”

“No, just here for a few days.”

This little thought was passed on to us by Danny M.  He said he is a friend of the author and this is one of his best little pieces:

I gave 20 years – the prime of my life – and it was a privilege. Can you give me and the other vets two hours? I went places I did not want to go, and did things I did not want to do – and did it all, not for $2.00/ gal gasoline, nor big screen tv, nor luxury SUV, or whatever – we did it to support and defend the Constitution of the United States.

This is an election year. If you really want to support our troops, take two hours and read the Constitution before you vote. We gave a lot, some gave all – can’t you give two hours and read the damn thing?
Please?

· Scott Wasmer

What a great idea Scott!  You are amongst brethren here!  What if everyone spent the two hours prior to voting reading the Constitution of the United States?  Even if, like some of us, you’ve read it several times before?  It could make a wonderful difference.

My Dad sent this to me, and although I can’t say that I lived through and did ALL of these things, I can claim a majority…and I know for a fact, that there are several of you out there who can say the same, or more.

They like to refer to us as senior citizens, old fogies, geezers, and in some cases dinosaurs. Some of us are “Baby Boomers” getting ready to retire. Others have been retired for some time. We walk a little slower these days and our eyes and hearing are not what they once
were. We have worked hard, raised our children, worshiped our God and grown old together.

Yes, we are the ones some refer to as being over the hill, and that is probably true. But before writing us off completely, there are a few things that need to be taken into consideration. In school we studied English, history, math, and science which enabled us to lead America into the technological age. Most of us remember what outhouses were, many of us with firsthand experience. We remember the days of telephone party-lines, 25 cent gasoline, and milk and ice being delivered to our homes. For those of you who don’t know what an icebox is, today they are electric and referred to as refrigerators. A few even remember when cars were started with a crank. Yes, we lived those days.

We are probably considered old fashioned and out-dated by many. But there are a few things you  need to remember before completely writing us off. We won World War II, fought in Korea and Viet Nam . We can quote The Pledge of Allegiance, and know where to place our hand while doing so. We wore the uniform of our country with pride and lost many friends on the battlefield.

We didn’t fight for the Socialist States of America ; we fought for the “Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave.” We wore different uniforms but carried the same flag. We know the words to the Star Spangled Banner, America , and America the Beautiful by heart, and you may even see some tears running down our cheeks as we sing. We have lived what many of you have only read in history books and we feel no obligation to apologize to anyone for America .

Yes, we are old and slow these days but rest assured, we have at least one good fight left in us.  We have loved this country, fought for it, and died for it, and now we are going to save it. It is our country and nobody is going to take it away from us. We took oaths to defend America against all enemies, foreign and domestic, and that is an oath we plan to keep. There are those who want to destroy this land we love but, like our founders, there is no way we are going to remain silent.

It was mostly the young people of this nation who elected Obama and the Democratic Congress. You fell for the “Hope and Change” which in reality was nothing but “Hype and Lies.”

You have tasted socialism and seen evil face to face, and have found you don’t like it after all. You make a lot of noise, but most are all too interested in their careers or “Climbing the Social Ladder” to be involved in such mundane things as patriotism and voting. Many of those who fell for the “Great Lie” in 2008 are now having buyer’s  remorse.

With all the education we gave you, you didn’t have sense enough to see through the lies and instead drank the ‘Kool-Aid.’ Now you’re paying the price and complaining about it. No jobs, lost mortgages, higher taxes, and less freedom.

This is what you voted for and this is what you got. We entrusted you with the Torch of Liberty and you traded it for a paycheck and a fancy house.

Well, don’t worry youngsters, the Grey-Haired Brigade is here, and in 2012 we are going to take back our nation. We may drive a little slower than you would like but we get where we’re going, and in 2012 we’re going to the polls by the millions.

This land does not belong to the man in the White House nor to the likes of Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid.  It belongs to “We the People” and “We the People” plan to reclaim our land and our freedom. We hope this time you will do a better job of preserving it and passing it along to our grandchildren. So the next time you have the chance to say the Pledge of Allegiance, Stand up, put your hand over your heart, honor our country, and thank God for the old geezers of the “Grey-Haired Brigade.”

Footnote:
I am another Gray-Haired Geezer signing on. I will circulate this to others all over this once great country. Can you feel the ground shaking???

It’s not an earthquake, it is a STAMPEDE.

Thanks, Dad!

Some really outstanding pictures of the ground from the air.  Some pictures higher than others.
http://www.theatlantic.com/infocus/2012/04/images-of-earth-from-above/100283/ 

 

Wow, just realized how long it’s been since Diaman has sent us some of her delicious puns…sweetie, hope you’re doing alright.  Anyway, I dug these out from an older email.  And because it’s been so long, you get a double dose!

A good mystery is bound to have a novel ending.

Dental care in Panama is called a route canal.

Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?

I find that movies about submarines always go down well.

Riding the escalator is a step up from always walking on the same level.

A man at the watchmakers convention made a motion, but it died for lack of a second.

A lot of farmers have been starting online blogs and writing about their wheat. They’re cropping up everywhere.

A Golfer’s Diet: Live on greens as much as possible.

If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times, stop exaggerating!

It rained so hard here last night our whole town flooded.  The entire city was taken by storm.

A person who would make a banking joke is of no account.

The invention of a shirt fastener after the button was a snap.

I think this is an EXCELLENT idea!  I want one, too!

How’s that again?

yup, that’s what I thought you said.  Wonder why that is…

Well, when all else fails…

Okay, so I gave you lots to get excited about today.  I know that the abortion topic got me and Lethal talking quite a bit.  To the point that we are both looking forward to continuing the conversation when we have the chance.  But, you see, he and I enjoy spirited conversation between two peers who can agree and disagree on multiple of topics without resorting to name calling or getting angry with each 0ther.  And believe it or not, we enjoy it so much that we want you to get involved with us!

That’s not really hard to  understand, is it? 

Well, maybe it is…

It seems we have a difficult time getting you guys to get  involved, so consider this your invitation on a silver platter

So, what other excuses do you have?

 But first, a Legal Disclaimer from our legal advisors the Esteemed Law Firm of Dewy, Cheatum & Howe

 

Thank You Impish for that intro- though I have to say your Ed McMahon imitation needs a LOT of work.

Sheesh! Not even into my opening remarks and already a Legal Disclaimer! You’d think I owned the firm or something. If I’m offending that many people Liberals to need a  disclaimer I must be doing or saying something right!

Been a rough week for your poor leprechaun since last we chatted. Not only did we have heavy rains, some prolonged violent Thunderstorms and some very rough weather with extremely high possibility of tornado activity, but the weather has brought me 2 additional problems as well.

The rising water table is forcing Fire ants to seek shelter apparently…in my apartment!  For those of you that do not have them ( you’re very lucky!) or are not familiar with them, they are very small ruby red and their bites leave painful burning itching welts and they travel in mobs. I’ve applied poison to them twice now and the Complex has allegedly had Terminix deal with them twice. All this has done is cause them to move the mound entrance over 3 feet so far.

The second thing is thanks to all the pollen in the air and spring here in Texas being in full swing I’m turning into an Allergy meds zombie! 3 to 4 Benadryl per day have left me barely able to think and function at times! When I sleep its more like a coma than sleep and when I wake up Molly calls me catatonic until after at least 1/2 a pot of coffee. Sunday night she had to rewind the DVR twice during a movie because I nodded off and missed important things.

So quite understandably I nodded off at my desk Monday after my early morning allergy tablet, that is until I heard the sound of what I took for the worlds largest hot saw…..

Lethal: HEY! IMPISH! Your snoring woke me from my own office nap and you’re drooling on the paperwork!

impishdragon: Huh? What? Oh, sorry.

Lethal: Ooooo! I see the virgins decided to play dress up while you were asleep! <Mockingly> Very nice make up! Emo-Goth makes you look…so like a graphic novel illustration….like something out of a Robert E. Howard Conan pulp novel from the 30’s! Very…becoming.

impishdragon: Huh? < Impish’s standard look (of confusion) crosses his face >

Lethal: <snickering> Never seen Krylon spray paint used as make up before.  I have to say a few of those virgin should be culled out of the harem and sent off the to our Graphics Department some of them show serious talent and lord knows our opening banners could use a new infusion of fresh ideas and talent.

impishdragon: Nice. Thanks bunches. You’ll get yours…one of these days…eventually…someday…maybe…I hope…If there is any justice in the multiverse… and hopefully before I die so I get to see it.

Lethal: Hey! It’s NOT like I am responsible ( for once)! We don’t even HAVE any spray paint…that I know of that is, in the offices!

impishdragon: Yup whatever Dude. Going to spend the rest of the day in the hot pools. Soak the “makeup” off.

Lethal: <Starts giggling inanely & rapping as he heads back to his desk> “Virgin Girls! Virgin Girls! Watchca gonna do? Watchca gonna when they paint you? ” Dude that’s KRYLON PAINT, its Enamel based, Hot water…short of a power washer and some muriatic acid ain’t taking that off!. <Lethal does a double take, points at Impish’s lower gut and collapses into a proximal fit of alternating giggles and guffaws while holding his sides and beating his heals on the floor>

impishdragon: <frowning a this uncharacteristic behavior> Yeah, but I figure I’ll give it a couple hours before I try something else. Maybe see if any of the girls would like to come down to the pools to “scrub” my hide. Your welcome to join us if you can manage to unchain yourself from your desk.

Lethal: <Lethal stops laughing long enough to listen, TRIES to speak and collapses into uncontrolled laughing>

impishdragon: <frowning at Lethal rolling around in such an undignified manner in obviously uncontrollable laughter> What was so funny about that? You been taking hits on that tank of Nitrous Oxide again? You’d better share! Remember the office rule! No Bogarting!  Huff-Huff-Pass!

Lethal: Oh holy mother of us all, me sides! Dude artfully stenciled in International Orange about your vent is the Warning” DANGER! MICRO Bio-weapon with ultra sensitive hair trigger & SHORT fuse! <another round of giggling ensues>

impishdragon: Really nice. Sheesh.

Lethal: No thanks! I’ll pass on the communal bath! Your “bio-weapon” might wind up with shelleigh envy and then you’d just be more embarrassed and depressed than you already are!

impishdragon Okay. Talk to you later. I’m going to soak, sandblast and polish myself. <Starts to waddle out of the office.> Console myself with pies THATS what I need to do! This definitely will hurt less after a pie eating binge!

Lethal: <Suddenly starts howling with laughter while crying over the pain in his ribs> Nice ‘Wide Load” and “Explosive! Stay back 50 feet” signs on your haunches Dude! & that tribalized Bio-hazard symbol at the base of your tail…pure artwork! Don’t go yet! <panting to catch his breath> I…need … <pant> pictures… <pant/snicker> for viral blackmail…posterity and evidence! CLEARLY you have been defaced in an act of nap time vandalism! < more snickering>

impishdragon: Make sure you get some good pictures. I might need to sue somebody to recover the costs off all the pies its going to take to make me forget this. And if you don’t take the time to write this up for Lep Laffs for the readers to laugh about at my expense you’re crazy.

Lethal: Ahhh….JUST finishing the Parting Shot and issue IS pretty long. I can CC&P to you so you can do a Rodney Dangerfield- “I Don’t Get No Respect” type of thing if you want. Already took 2 light pokes at you…don’t want to hear wailing, gnashing of teeth and whining the mention of buses running you over.

impishdragon: No worries. Poke away. But you know, come to think of it, I haven’t taken a poke at leprechauns in quite some time.

Lethal: We’re too hard and small a moving target and we take our revenge more seriously than Sicilian Mafia Dons that’s why

impishdragon: You may have a point there. <exits to a chorus of outer office snickers and guffaws while muttering under his breath calculating the number and kinds of pie its going to take to compensate his bruised ego for this current indignity it has suffered>

<Lethal watches a few moments as his friend exits and checks to make sure the elevator doors close before turning to his secretary>

Lethal: Geeze Friday! When you said you were annoyed with Impish and going to help his virgins punk him I thought maybe shaving cream topped pies, redoing his private restroom in Barney motif or his Bedroom in Hello Kitty or something but DAYUM GIRL!

Friday: <Pausing filing her nails and looking up through her eyebrows at Lethal> I told you I was fed up with his “accidental” tail swats in the butt. You wouldn’t let me shorten the thing with my axe so what’s a poor demi-god girl from Valhalla to do? <She breaks down into uncontrolled giggles taking Lethal with her>

Lethal: OH GOD MY RIBS! Stop already or I’m going to need medical treatment! If he sees the one between his eyes that reads “Vacancy Inside” and mocks the Intel Logo before I get them wrapped I might break one laughing! Come on lets get out of here! I need to buy a couple Ace Bandages and some Ibuprofen… as much for me poor head as for me ribs. I’ll even buy you lunch you very naughty vengeful little thing!

Ok enough with the pre-issue giggle stories, we’ve a lot to cover today so lets get this wagon train loaded up and move ‘em out!

 

Yeah Obama you TRY taking away Impish’s or my coffee- I DOUBLE DEAD LIBERAL’S DOG DARE YOU! You’ll be back in Kenya picking the beans for it so fast you think the White House was a day dream! JUST YOU TRY IT BUB! I’m packing a caffeine addicted dragon and I’m NOT afraid to use him!

The new nun goes to her first confession. She tells the priest that she has a terrible secret and he tells her that her secret is safe in the sanctity of the confessional.
She says, “Father, I never wear panties under my habit.”
The priest thinks a while and says, “That’s not so serious. Say five Hail Marys, five Our Fathers and do six cartwheels on your way to the altar.”

    

 

   

New Mayan calendar: World not ending in 2012

Good news for those looking forward to Christmas, the world’s not ending in December 2012!

Archaeologists not working for some lame cable TV program have discovered a new, but really old Mayan calendar that extends our purchasing power into George Jetson territory.

The Mayans, best known for crackpot misinterpretations of their Mesoamerican scribbling, were obsessed with time, and some had theorized the ancient culture, who had not predicted Spaniards, had somehow predicted The End of Time.

Not so, says someone really smart about this sort of thing.

“The Mayan calendar is going to keep going for billions, trillions, octillions of years into the future,” said archaeologist David Stuart of the University of Texas, who worked to decipher glyphs found in 2010 in the ancient Maya city of Xultun in northeast Guatemala.

The calendar, the oldest Mayan one ever discovered, features stacked bars and dots that count lunar cycles. It was likely drawn up in the 800s, about the time Pope Leo III (who used the more accurate Julian calendar) crowned Charlemagne Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire in Saint Peter’s Basilica in Rome.

The original article on the discovery appears in Science magazine. LiveScience.com has a good write-up online.

 

Donald ‘Duck’ Dunn dies at 70; soul music bassist

• Donald “Duck” Dunn
  Musician. Born Memphis, November 24, 1941.
  Died Tokyo, May 13, aged 70

Soul rockers Booker T. and the MGs are seen in this January 1970 file photo, from left: Al Jackson Jr., Booker T. Jones, Donald “Duck” Dunn and Steve Cropper. (Associated Press / May 14, 2012)

DONALD “Duck” Dunn, the bassist who helped create the gritty Memphis soul sound at Stax Records in the 1960s as part of legendary group Booker T and the MGs, has been remembered as one of the best session musicians in the business.

Dunn died on Sunday while on tour in Tokyo. He was 70.

He contributed to In the Midnight Hour, Hold On, I’m Coming and Sitting on the Dock of the Bay.

He also worked with John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd’s Blues Brothers as well as The Band’s Levon Helm, Eric Clapton, Neil Young and Bob Dylan.

His friend and fellow musician Steve Cropper, who was on the same tour, said Dunn died in his sleep.

Dunn was born in Memphis, Tennessee, in 1941, and was nicknamed after the cartoon character by his father who did not want him to be a musician.

“He thought I would become a drug addict and die,” Dunn said. “Most parents in those days thought music was a pastime, something you did as a hobby, not a profession.”

By the time Dunn was in high school, he was in a band with Cropper.

Cropper left to become a session player at Stax, the Memphis record company that would become known for its soul recordings and artists such as Otis Redding, Sam & Dave, Isaac Hayes and the Staples Singers.

Dunn soon followed Cropper and joined the Stax house band, also known as Booker T and the MGs.

It was one of the first racially integrated soul groups, with two whites (Dunn on bass and Cropper on guitar) and two blacks (Booker T. Jones on organ and Al Jackson on drums), and was later inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

The group had its heyday in the 1960s as backup for Stax artists. Dunn played on Redding’s Respect and Sitting on the Dock of the Bay, Sam & Dave’s Hold On, I’m Coming and Wilson Pickett’s In the Midnight Hour.

Booker T and the MGs had its own hits, including Hang ‘Em High, Soul-Limbo and, before Dunn joined the band, the 1962 instrumental Green Onions. In the 70s, the group’s members drifted apart.

Cropper and Dunn reunited when they joined Aykroyd and Belushi’s Blues Brothers band and appeared in the 1980 Blues Brothers movie. Dunn also did session work for Clapton, Young, Dylan, Rod Stewart, Stevie Nicks and Tom Petty, his discography notes. He received a lifetime achievement Grammy in 2007.

He is survived by his wife, June, a son, Jeff, and a grandchild, Michael, said Michael Leahy, Dunn’s agent.

Carroll Shelby, Car Builder Who Added Muscle to American Racing, Dies at 89

Carroll Shelby, a Texas chicken farmer turned hot-rodder who went on to build innovative sports cars like the Cobra that challenged Europe’s longtime dominance of road racing as well as high-performance versions of production cars like the Ford Mustang, died on Thursday in Dallas. He was 89.

His death was announced by his company, Carroll Shelby International.

In the 1960s, Shelby raised the profile of American racing machines on the international sports-car circuit by packing powerful Ford V-8 engines into lightweight British roadsters, and by developing racing cars for Ford.

His Shelby Cobras proved worthy competitors to the likes of Ferrari, Maserati and Jaguar and became prized collector’s items. Today they command six- and seven-figure prices.

“Carroll is sort of like the car world’s Mickey Mantle or Willie Mays,” Jay Leno, who owned three Shelby cars, told The New York Times in 2003. “Unlike so many racers, he didn’t come from a rich family, so he signifies that Everyman, common-sense ideal. When I was a kid, American cars were big, clunky things, until Carroll used his ingenuity to make them compete with European cars.”

In 1959, Shelby became the second American-born driver to win the 24 Hours of Le Mans, the brutal endurance race in France, co-driving a British-made Aston Martin.

But a heart ailment forced him to quit driving, and he founded Shelby American in 1962. It became one of the most successful independent sports-car builders of the era.

Shelby began building his Cobras in 1962 using the chassis and body of a two-seater from AC Cars of England.

Early prototypes broke apart because of stress on the fragile frames. “When you try to put 300 horsepower in a car designed for 100, you learn what development means,” Shelby recalled in a 2002 interview with Sports Illustrated. But the Cobra with the high-powered Ford engine proved a formidable racer, celebrated in pop culture when the Rip Chords recorded “Hey Little Cobra” in 1964.

The Cobra captured the United States Road Racing Championship series of the Sports Car Club of America in 1963 and won the Grand Touring world championship in the large-engine category in 1965.

Soon after Lee A. Iacocca of Ford introduced the Mustang in 1964, he asked Shelby to help create a high-performance version for racing. In January 1965, the first Shelby Mustang, the GT350, made its debut. Shelby also developed the Ford GT40, and the Shelby GT500 and GT500KR (the KR stood for King of the Road).

Carroll Hall Shelby was born on Jan. 11, 1923, in Leesburg, Tex., where his father, Warren, a rural mail carrier, became a car buff, making his rounds in a 1928 Whippet.

Shelby served as a flight instructor in the Army Air Forces during World War II, then worked in Texas oil fields and became a chicken farmer. One Sunday in 1952, as he told it, a wartime buddy drove up “in a little ol’ English car called an MG” and invited him to take a ride. He soon envisioned a world beyond his farm chores.

He entered his first race in 1952, driving in a quarter-mile drag meet, then won road races in the Southwest. But he was still working on his farm and practicing in striped bib coveralls because he did not have time for a change of clothes. They became his trademark outfit.

His fortunes took a turn in 1954 when he came to the attention of the Aston Martin team. He drove for the team that year at Sebring, Fla., and in Europe. In November 1957, driving a Maserati single-seater, he won a 100-mile race at Riverside, Calif., after spinning out on the first lap and then going to the back of the field. He was one of America’s leading sports-car drivers by then.

The Shelby-American team’s Ford GT40 won the 24 Hours of Le Mans in 1966 and 1967. Those victories ended a winning streak by Ferrari that began in 1960, the year after Shelby teamed with Roy Salvadori of Britain to win in their Aston Martin.

Phil Hill, co-driving a Ferrari, was the only American-born racer to have won at Le Mans before Shelby, capturing the race in 1958. (Luigi Chinetti, who won in 1949, was an American citizen but was born in Italy.)

“Carroll desperately wanted to beat all the Europeans at Le Mans,” C. Van Tune, a onetime Shelby employee who was later editor in chief of Motor Trend magazine, told The Dallas Morning News in 2001. “He wanted to show all those fancy, highbred Euros in their slick racing suits that a chicken farmer from Texas could beat them at their own game.”

Shelby was a distinctive figure on the European racing scene of the late 1950s. “My wife was at Le Mans when he won,” David E. Davis, the founder of Automobile magazine, once told Vanity Fair. “And she said he was just the epitome of America — the overalls, the colorful language, the big mop of curly hair.”

 

You might be a liberal if . . .
You think that if someone is getting richer, someone, somewhere, must be getting poorer.

You might be a liberal if . . .
You think that protestors outside nuclear power plants are dedicated activists, but protestors outside abortion clinics are dangerous zealots interfering with a legal activity.

You might be a liberal if . . .
You believe that more federal regulations will make your life better.

You might be a liberal if . . .
You believe that even though the top 20 percent of taxpayers pay 80 percent of income taxes, that the rich are not paying their “fair share.”

You might be a liberal if . . .
You think that Rush Limbaugh’s listeners are mindless “dittoheads,” but you have never doubted anything that you heard from Michael Moore.

You might be a liberal if . . .
You believe in global warming today just as firmly as you believed in global cooling back in the 1970s.

You might be a liberal if . . .
You believe that the network news is a better indicator of what “real” news is than talk radio, Internet news sites, and blogs.

You might be a liberal if . . .
You believe that there was never, ever a problem with biased news coverage until Fox News went on the air.

You might be a liberal if . . .
You believe that Mikhail Gorbachev deserves more credit for losing the Cold War than Ronald Reagan deserves for winning it.

You might be a liberal if . . .
Your parents gave you an acre of preserved rain forest for your first birthday.

You might be a liberal if . . .
You cannot name a single NASCAR driver.

You might be a liberal if . . .
You mentally subtract 100 points from someone’s IQ if the person speaks with a Southern accent.

You might be a liberal if . . .
You think that Dan Rather got a raw deal.

You might be a liberal if . . .
You panic if you discover that you’re out of chick peas.

You might be a liberal if . . .
You think that the phrase “separation of church and state” is in the Constitution.

You might be a liberal if . . .
You pride yourself on your global awareness, global sensitivity and global outlook, but can’t name your state legislator or school board representative.

You might be a liberal if . . .
You are dedicated to helping the poor, the downtrodden and the less fortunate, but you have never given blood.

You might be a liberal if . . .
You have not seen “The Passion of the Christ,” and you don’t know anyone who has seen it.

You might be a liberal if . . .
You believe that a woman should make it on her own, without depending on her husband (except for Hillary Clinton).

You might be a liberal if . . .
You believe that professional, working women should never be judged on their appearance (except for Katherine Harris).

You might be a liberal if . . .
You believe that rich people should not be allowed to contribute so much money to candidates for office (except for George Soros).

You might be a liberal if . . .
You believe that government should make a special effort to hire members of traditionally oppressed groups, such as African-Americans (except for Clarence Thomas, Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice).

You might be a liberal if . . .
You feel a deep sense of common cause with oppressed groups, such as Hispanic immigrants (except for Cuban Americans fleeing Castro).

You might be a liberal if . . .
You believe that a mother’s wishes for her child, especially a mother’s last, dying wish for her child, should outweigh the wishes of a father who had long before deserted his family (unless the child is named Elian Gonzalez).

 

On the Subject of What Needs Fixing & What You Want to See From Us

Steve says:

Thanks so much for another great mailing. I so look forward to them. I read every article as it’s not often I find those with the same beliefs.

Joseph says:

A note to Lethal, I personally wait with great anticipation for your posting of recipes. I love to cook and have printed and tried many of yours. Please continue, I am always looking for new ideas. My wife is from Colombia, so if I want American food, I have to cook it myself.

lethalleprechaun says:

Thanks Joe that makes 2 of us make cooks, well OK 3 if you can count what Impish does as “cooking”. I’ll probably not dump the feature entirely, just throttle it back to a once a month thing unless more people speak up about it. <<== HINT!

Ginny says:I didn’t missed your point, I like the mix of jokes, recipes, funny animations and videos. What is making you think a change is required?

lethalleprechaun says:

Well Ginny its like this, when you finish a performance time after time and largely hear nothing but the crickets you start to think your act has gone stale and you need to change and/or update it.

For the most part the words that I would use to describe the largest portion of our readership are ambivalent & apathetic. There are 426 people who follow the blog via e-mail (UGH! REALLY? Still? Grr!) and if you take the 3 day window of Wednesday-Thursday-Friday this week (which is how I generally gauge the blog hits for an issue- the day of and following 2 days) I had a very very good week and we can add another 315 readers to that total for a grand total of 741 readers. If just 5% of those readers commented that would be 37 comments. ONE PERCENT would be 7 or 8 comments. The issue despite a very high number of hits garnered NO COMMENTS! Exactly NO COMMENTS on a Parting Shot dealing with changing our system of Taxation, overhauling the Tax Code and proposed changes to the drains on our tax revenue. Not a single peep. Nothing but crickets. Hell, we didn’t even get booed by the Democrats or Liberals lurking in the shadows over it!

We have had 90,885 views of 444 posts at the time I write this since we first switched to the blog format. Yet we have had only 1112 comments in that time and probably a full ONE THIRD of those are from Impish or myself! IN POINT OF FACT THE TWO OWNERS ARE THE MOST ACTIVE COMMENTERS ON THE BLOG!! Now if this was YOUR blog and you were looking at THOSE results and returns, wouldn’t YOU think something was seriously wrong with it and required fixing and/or change?

We see other blogs where every post garners 10 or 12 comments on the topic(s) in the post and a rousing discussion of the presented issues, then we look at ours, wonder what we are doing wrong or what we need to change to achieve this in our blog. So far we have been unable to achieve the sort of success, notability and participation levels we have been shooting for since day one. NONE of these things are even at the levels they were before we moved to the blog format which is far more flexible, easier and quicker for us to create posts in and (allegedly) possesses the potential to reach a far larger audience because its not a closed group.

In truth had this remained a Yahoo e-mail group we would never be having this discussion because it took too long and was too difficult to create each issue and get it to appear the way we wanted to. Moving to the blog format helped save the publication as did the moving to a 2 day a week delivery. Our numbers are not near what they were in the Yahoo days and in fact have DECLINED from the beginning numbers post switch over despite us trying various new things.

If you were looking at all this staring you in the face Ginny wouldn’t YOU be asking what needs changing too?

Regarding Impish’s Last Word Last Week in DragonLaffs # 1273

Lloyd says:

Guys, you’re really not impressing me with your examples of injustice in your epilogue. I was a cop for 30 years and I can tell you from long first hand experience that our system of Jurisprudence has absolutely nothing to do with justice. What is has to do with is LAW. All kinds of law. Old English common law, Statutory law, Law of precedence, and whatever the judge thinks is law on any given day. What it amounts to is simply this; if your attorney is better read and sharper than the prosecutor then you will walk. If you are depending on a public defender, before you go to court pack your toothbrush and some Vaseline. I’m reminded of a joke from the 1960′s civil rights era. A young man is arrested for rioting. He has only one call so he calls the most expensive attorney in town. The attorney meets with him and tells him; “Now right up front Mr. Wilson, I want to assure you that under our system of justice; race, color, background and political affiliation make no difference at all, We are all equal under the law.” “Now, just how equal can you afford to be?” In the final analysis the courts always operate under the Golden Rule. He who has the gold, makes the rules. I have seen first time offender shop lifters get the max while kidnapper-murderers are made to write on the blackboard: “I was a bad boy and i promise not to do it anymore.” 100 times. Okay, so I’m exaggerating the last just a little but I think you get the point.

lethalleprechaun says:

Sadly Lloyd I am force to agree with you on one point, justice has become a purchasable commodity. One mainly about hype spin and marketing where the process is more about picking a jury that will get you the verdict you desire than uncovering the truth and guilt behind the matter. I also think the the criminals have more rights than the victims.

 

Ignore him when he talks at your own peril! 

There see? Now its Official- PAY ATTENTION!

FBI issues warning on hotel Internet connections

FBI says malware lurking in hotel room connections, particularly overseas

The FBI today warned travelers there has been an uptick in malicious software infecting laptops and other devices linked to hotel Internet connections.

The FBI wasn’t specific about any particular hotel chain, nor the software involved but stated: “Recent analysis from the FBI and other government agencies demonstrates that malicious actors are targeting travelers abroad through pop-up windows while they are establishing an Internet connection in their hotel rooms.

The FBI said typically travelers attempting to set up a hotel room Internet connection were presented with a pop-up window notifying the user to update a widely used software product. If the user clicked to accept and install the update, malicious software was installed on the laptop. The pop-up window appeared to be offering a routine update to a legitimate software product for which updates are frequently available.

The warning was issued through the FBI’s partnership with the Internet Crime Complaint Center’s (IC3) and comes on the heels of a number of other warnings.

The FBI recommends that all government, private industry, and academic personnel who travel abroad take extra caution before updating software products through their hotel Internet connection. Checking the author or digital certificate of any prompted update to see if it corresponds to the software vendor may reveal an attempted attack. The FBI also recommends that travelers perform software updates on laptops immediately before traveling, and that they download software updates directly from the software vendor’s website if updates are necessary while abroad.”

Lethal here- As usual the Feds are a day late, a dollar short and left there ‘get a clue’ card in their other cheap ill fitting black suit. This is malware delivery system is WELL established in the US already. It is more prevalent along both borders, but you can easily find it (though I don’t know why you would WANT to) in any major tourist area.

 

The Legend of Onestone- The Indian With One Testicle

There once was an Indian who had only one testicle and whose given name was ‘Onestone’. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.

After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,’ If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!’ The word got around and nobody called him that any more.

Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, ‘Good morning, Onestone.’  

He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion. The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.

Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away. Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird’s cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, ‘Good to see you, Onestone.’

Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn’t die!

Why ???

OH, come on… take a guess !!!

Think about it !

You’re going to love this !!!

Everyone knows…

You can’t kill Two Birds with OneStone!!!

Oh! Wait! Was that warning sign supposed to go BEFORE the joke? My Bad! 

Guy explains to his doctor,
“Doc, when I got up this morning, I put on a pair of white gloves and started calling my wife Minnie. Then on the way to work I
couldn’t help singing ‘Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It’s off to work I go’, and when I got there I started calling everyone Happy, Grumpy, Dopey
and so on. What’s the matter with me?”
“That’s easy,” replies the doctor. “You’re having Disney spells.”

Must be North Korean Scientists!

Drafting Guys Over 60

I am over 50 and the Armed Forces thinks I’m too old to track down terrorists. You can’t be older than 42 to join the military. They’ve got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn’t be able to join a military unit until you’re at least 35.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven’t lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. ‘My back hurts!

I can’t sleep, I’m tired and hungry.’ We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn’t even like to get up before 10 am . Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell.

Besides, like I said, I’m tired and can’t sleep and since I’m already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.

If captured we couldn’t spill the beans because we’d forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We’re used to getting screamed and yelled at and we’re used to soft food. We’ve also developed an appreciation for guns. We’ve been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however… I’ve been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I’ve never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He’s still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl.

He still hasn’t figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head. These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm’s way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty, rotten, coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50…in menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes?? Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!!  If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They’ll have it secured the first night!

 

Man how times have changed! Now Impish get hollered at for bringing Wizards home, bounded, gagged and rolled up in a carpet!

 

 

Investigating the IRS: Why it gives billions to illegal immigrants!

INDIANAPOLIS –

Why are many illegal immigrants getting a bigger tax refund than you? Blame it on the IRS and a massive tax loophole that’s now being exposed by Eyewitness News.

13 Investigates has found the IRS is giving away your tax dollars to illegal workers and people who don’t even live in the United States – and the problem is costing billions!

We want you to see exactly where your money is going and why the IRS is allowing it to happen. From the homes of illegal workers in Indiana to the headquarters of the Internal Revenue Service in Washington, investigative reporter Bob Segall takes you behind the scenes of his three-month investigation to get answers.

 http://www.wthr.com/video?clipId=7054149&autostart=true

While that may have seemed like a good idea, it’s now backfiring in a big way.

Each spring, at tax preparation offices all across the nation, many illegal immigrants are now eagerly filing tax returns to take advantage of a tax loophole, using their ITIN numbers to get huge refunds from the IRS.

The loophole is called the Additional Child Tax Credit. It’s a fully-refundable credit of up to $1000 per child, and it’s meant to help working families who have children living at home.  

But 13 Investigates has found many undocumented workers are claiming the tax credit for kids who live in Mexico – lots of kids in Mexico.

“We’ve seen sometimes 10 or 12 dependents, most times nieces and nephews, on these tax forms,” the whistleblower told Eyewitness News. “The more you put on there, the more you get back.”

The whistleblower has thousands of examples, and he brought some of them to 13 Investigates. While identifying information such as names and addresses on the tax returns was redacted, it was still clear that the tax filers had received large tax refunds after claiming additional child tax credits for many dependents.

“Here’s a return right here: we’ve got a $10,3000 refund for nine nieces and nephews,” he said, pointing to the words “niece” and “nephew” listed on the tax forms nine separate times.

“We’re getting an $11,000 refund on this tax return. There’s seven nieces and nephews,” he said, pointing to another set of documents. “I can bring out stacks and stacks. It’s just so easy it’s ridiculous.”

20 kids = $30,000

WTHR spoke to several undocumented workers who confirmed it is easy.

They all agreed to talk with WTHR investigative reporter Bob Segall and a translator as long as WTHR agreed not to reveal their identity.

One of the workers, who was interviewed at his home in southern Indiana, admitted his address was used this year to file tax returns by four other undocumented workers who don’t even live there. Those four workers claimed 20 children live inside the one residence and, as a result, the IRS sent the illegal immigrants tax refunds totaling $29,608.

13 Investigates saw only one little girl who lives at that address (a small mobile home). We wondered about the 20 kids claimed as tax deductions?

“They don’t live here,” said the undocumented worker. “The other kids are in their country of origin, which is Mexico.”

He later explained none of the 20 children have ever visited the United States – let alone lived here.

So why should undocumented workers receive tax credits for children living in a foreign country, which is a violation of IRS tax rules?

“If the opportunity is there and they can give it to me, why not take advantage of it?” the worker said.

Other undocumented workers in Indiana told 13 Investigates the same thing. Their families are collecting tax refunds for children who do not live in this country. Several of the workers told WTHR they were told it was legal for them to claim the tax credit for a child who does not live in the United States. [Undoubtedly by liberals and Tax Advisors working for C.R.E.E.P. ]

IRS was repeatedly warned

“The magnitude of the problem has grown exponentially,” said Russell George, the United States Department of Treasury’s Inspector General for Tax Administration (TIGTA).

And he says the IRS has known about the problem for years.

George has repeatedly warned the IRS that additional child tax credits are being abused by undocumented workers. In 2009, his office released an audit report that showed ITIN tax filers received about $1 billion in additional child tax credits. Last year, the inspector general released a new report showing the problem now costs American tax payers more than $4.2 billion.

“Keep in mind, we’re talking $4 billion per year,” he said. “It’s very troubling.”

What George finds even more troubling is the IRS has not taken action despite multiple warnings from the inspector general.

“Millions of people are seeking this tax credit who, we believe, are not entitled to it,” said the inspector general. “We have made recommendations to [IRS] as to how they could address this, and they have not taken sufficient action in our view to solve the problem.”

Other information obtained from the TIGTA audits include:  

· Claims for additional child tax credits by ITIN filers have skyrocketed during the past decade, from $161 million in 2001 to $4.2 billion in tax year 2010.

· Undocumented workers filed 3.02 million tax returns in 2010. 72% of those returns (2.18 million) claimed the additional child tax credit.

· In 2010, the IRS owed undocumented workers more in claimed additional child tax credits than it collected from those workers in taxes.

Agency responds – sort of

What does the IRS have to say about all this?

The agency sent WTHR a statement, defending its policy of paying tax credits to illegal immigrants.

Full statement to WTHR from the Internal Revenue Service

The law has been clear for over a decade that eligibility for these credits does not depend on work authorization status or the type of taxpayer identification number used. Any suggestion that the IRS shouldn’t be paying out these credits under current law to ITIN holders is simply incorrect. The IRS administers the law impartially and applies it as it is written. If the law were changed, the IRS would change its programs accordingly. The IRS disagrees with TIGTA’s recommendation on requiring additional documentation to verify child credit claims. As TIGTA acknowledges in this report, the IRS does not currently have the legal authority to verify and disallow the Child Tax Credit and the Additional Child Tax Credit during return processing simply because of the lack of documentation. The IRS has procedures in place specifically for the evaluation of questionable credit claims early in the processing stream and prior to issuance of a refund. The IRS continues to work to refine and improve our processes.

George disagrees with that position and believes the IRS should be doing more to prevent undocumented workers from getting billions in US tax dollars.

“The IRS is not doing something as simple as requesting sufficient documentation from people seeking this credit,” he said. “Once the money goes out the door, it’s nearly impossible for the IRS to get it back.”

Over the past month, WTHR has tried to ask the IRS more questions about its efforts to prevent abuse involving additional child tax credits.

Despite repeated phone calls, e-mails and a visit to IRS headquarters in Washington, the agency said none of its 100,000 employees had time to meet with 13 Investigates for an interview. An IRS spokeswoman said all staff were too busy because of the tax filing deadline in mid-April.

Apparently, the IRS doesn’t have time to respond to some tax preparers, either.

Last year, our whistleblower noticed dozens of undocumented workers had used phony documents and false income to claim tax credits. He reported all of it to the IRS.

“These were fraudulent, 100% fraudulent tax returns, but I got no response; absolutely none. We never heard a thing,” he said. “To me, it’s clear the IRS is letting this happen.”

The IRS tells WTHR it can do nothing to change the current system unless it gets permission from Congress. In other words, according to the IRS, closing the loophole would require lawmakers to pass a new law specifically excluding illegal immigrants from claiming additional child tax credits.

The big questions now: Is Congress willing to do that?

Lawmakers looking for a fix

“We’ve got to deal with it,” he said. “I knew this was a problem, but until hearing what you found, I didn’t know it was this severe.”

Rep. Burton and dozens of other House Republicans have co-sponsored a bill that would essentially authorize additional child tax credits only for US citizens. House Resolution 1956 would require tax filers to provide a valid social security number to receive an additional child tax credit.

The IRS provides illegal immigrants with an ITIN (individual taxpayer identification number) so they can file tax returns, but most undocumented workers are not eligible to receive a social security number.

HR 1956 has sat idle in the House Ways and Means Committee for almost a year.

However, language from the bill is now included in a package of proposed budget savings measures that House lawmakers are expected to consider in May. While the budget package may have enough support to pass the House, it is expected to die a quick death in the Democratic-controlled Senate.

“This should not be a partisan issue because we’re all concerned about saving taxpayer dollars and not wasting them on fraudulent things like this,” said Rep. Burton. “But I don’t think Democrats want to deal with this with right now.”

Not all Democrats are opposed to limiting additional child tax credits to US citizens.

Last fall, Senator Claire McCaskill (D – Mo) sent a letter to IRS Commissioner Douglas Shulman asking him to stop the agency’s payments of additional child tax credits to undocumented workers. “This is deeply problematic and must be remedied,” the senator wrote.

But few other Democratic lawmakers have voiced support for eliminating the child tax credits for undocumented workers.

Republicans plan to keep pushing the issue forward.

“This rampant abuse of hardworking taxpayer dollars is just wrong,” said Rep. Sam Johnson (R – Tex), who authored HR 1956. “It’s time we close this tax loophole and put a stop to the child tax credit sham.”

Rep. Burton agrees.

“I’m a taxpayer, and the thought of me paying for 24 people who are living in one trailer boggles my mind, especially when you tell me most of them are still living in Mexico. That’s unconscionable.” he said.

“Who’s going to help?”

Many undocumented workers see the issue very differently.

“It’s not taking advantage. I’m very thankful to this country for the help it gives me,” said an illegal immigrant in central Indiana, who decided to talk with 13 Investigates as long as we agreed not to reveal his identity.

The worker has lived in the United States for 14 years. He owns a home in Indiana, pays taxes and is raising three children who are all honor roll students. This year, he received a $9,000 tax refund that includes additional child tax credits – not only for his children who live in Indiana, but also for four nieces and nephews in Mexico.

The tax credits help him care for his young family members south of the border, and he says attempts by Congress to revoke the credits could have dire consequences.

“Who’s going to help them if they’re not eligible … to avoid them ending up in the drug mafia, begging in the street, being raped? What happens when they get sick?” he asked. “There’s a lot of things that could happen to them if you don’t help … When you come here [to the United States], to your family down there, you are their hope.”

Taking additional child tax credits away from undocumented workers would also have an impact on millions of children legally living in this country. Children of illegal immigrants who are born in the US are legal US citizens and, in many cases, those children would no longer be eligible to receive the tax credits under proposals like HR 1956.

But the inspector general insists refundable tax credits were never intended for illegal immigrants – let alone people who’ve never stepped foot in the United States.

“It’s being abused by people who are not entitled to use it, and that’s problematic,” George told Eyewitness News.

“It’s cheating the American taxpayer,” agreed Burton. “We all believe in humanity and humanitarianism, but we’ve got a $15 trillion national debt. We can’t subsidize the whole world.”

What can you do?

Congress may be voting on a budget measure in the coming weeks, and a budget reconciliation package now being considered in the House of Representatives contains language that would limit additional child tax credits to US citizens with a valid social security number. If you feel strongly about this issue – one way or another – now is a good time to let your lawmakers know

 

This proves to us we as a nation cannot afford to be divided any longer. We must unite. Congress knows there is a problem but they are not doing anything about it…FIRE EVERY INCUMBENT! Simply vote them out of office and send every new public servant to Washington with a mission. Fire every IRS agent that knew about this and did nothing. If we as a nation will not unite, it is all over except for the division of your possessions. COME ON AMERICA, WAKE UP!!!! The alarm clock is ringing and sleepy America just keeps on sleeping. It reminds me of a Proverb…Proverbs 6:9-11 in fact, here it is in the New King James Version: “How long will you slumber, O sluggard? When will you rise from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, A little folding of the hands to sleep—So shall your poverty come on you like a prowler, And your need like an armed man.”

This makes me sick!!!!!!! I work my butt of week after week pay thousands of dollars in taxes, struggle paycheck to paycheck and I’m “lucky” if I get a $200 refund. I may decide to become an illegal immigrant. I can use the extra money. Instead of paying I could be collecting.

The Flat tax/Fair Tax is the answer. Everybody pays their fare share, no deductions, no loopholes. Middle Income America would finally be able to stop supporting the country. (and getting raped by the liberals to do under the table shit like this we would not stand for above the table!)

Its not completely the ignorant voters, its also the Millions of potential (LEGAL may I add) voters who do NOT go vote as well….The Illegals ARE voting and who do you think they want to have in office those who let them come here and do what they do or those who will try to stop them? Easy answer right! Well then who should your vote be for? Another easy answer!!! GO VOTE!!! If you don’t vote, you don’t have the right to complain!!! Do something to make changes!!! It will take ALOT of us to stop this, so we all need to vote tomorrow!!!

And clean out his rat-bastard liberal commie giving my taxes away friends and czars too!

How come the article fails to mention that this is not a “loophole” as much as it is knowing TAX FRAUD? In order for children to be qualified for the Child Tax Credit (and the Additional Child Tax Credit) each child must pass ALL SEVEN of these tests:

1. The child must be a son, daughter, stepchild, foster child, brother, sister, stepbrother, stepsister, or a descendant of any of them (for example, your grandchild, niece, or nephew),

2. Was under the age of 17

3. Did not provide over half of their own income.

4. LIVED WITH THE TAXPAYER FOR MORE THAN HALF OF THE YEAR.

5. IS CLAIMED AS A DEPENDENT ON THE RETURN.

6. Did not file a joint return for the year

7. IS A US CITIZEN, US NATIONAL, OR RESIDENT ALIEN (i.e. HERE LEGALLY!!!)

This is not a “loophole”, it is not a “mistake.” It is knowing, willful FRAUD. Fine. Pay out legitimate credits for dependents of illegals living here, but drop the hammer on those claiming dependents out of country (or not theirs in the first place). Fraud is fraud, and I’d be put in prison for claiming a dependent that wasn’t mine or did not live with me. LORD KNOWS if you or I tried this the IRS would be on us faster than I can fleece Impish at poker! WHY THEN is the IRS not taking their MANDATED PROPER PROCEEDURES against these people?

At LEAST require of these people an AUDIT even an amended return out of those whom they CAN actually pin down would save BILLIONS potentially! This is just another way of Redistributing the Wealth of the U.S.A. it is One world government stuff, You know the Socialist Utopian dream of Obama and his gang. I can hear all you whiney azzed liberal now tuning up to cry-

 “Unfair! Unjust! It’s NOT Obama’s fault it was going on LONG before he got here!” 

I’ll agree with that, to a point, it WAS going on before he got into office. HOWEVER it was discovered and became an issue and the apparent monumental proportions of the problem have it would seem been know for MOST OF HIS PRESIDENCY if one looks at the date on some of those reports. Yet he’s done nothing about this, no direction to Congress to fix this, no “Mandate by Executive Order” action NOTHING!

Why not? BECAUSE HE APPROVES OF THIS AND WANTS IT! THAT makes it his fault!

(BLESSING NOT VALID FOR: Democrats, Liberals, Bleeding Hearted Illegal Aliens Lovers, Actual Illegal Aliens, the Lame Stream Media, Barrack Obama, Joe Biden, their entire combined staffs and the Obama/Biden Cabinet)